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5 Things You Should Never Say While Negotiating | Inc.com http://www.inc.com/guides/!""/!"/#ive$things$to$never$say$while$neg...
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By Mike Hofman !mike"ofman #an $%& '(%%

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Speak Softly: W"ene*er you
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1opi,s 5 4a-es an. Marke)ing 5 4a-es 5 Nego)ia)ing 5
5 Things You Should Never Say
While Negotiating
If you're new to negotiating or find it difficult, here are some missteps to avoid.
Every entrepreneur spends some time haggling,
whether it is with customers, suppliers, investors, or
would-be employees. Most business owners are street
smart, and seem to naturally perform well in negotiations.
You probably have a trick or twosome magic phrases to
say, perhapsthat can help you gain the upperhand. ut,
often, the moment you get into trouble in a negotiation is
when something careless !ust slips out. If you are new to
negotiation, or feel it is an area where you can improve,
check out these tips on precisely what not to say.
1. The word "between." It often feels reasonableand
therefore like progressto throw out a range. "ith a
customer, that may mean saying #I can do this for
between $%&,&&& and $%',&&&.# "ith a potential hire,
you could be tempted to say, #You can start between (pril
% and (pril %'.# ut that word between tends to be
tantamount to a concession, and any shrewd negotiator
with whom you deal will swiftly )ero-in on the cheaper
price or the later deadline. In other words, you will find
that by saying the word between you will automatically
have conceded ground without e*tracting anything in
return.
Dig Deeper: The rt o! E!!e"tive Negotiation
#. "$ thin% we&re "lose." "e've all e*perienced deal
fatigue+ ,he moment when you want so badly to complete a deal that you signal to the
other side that you are ready to settle on the details and move forward. ,he problem
with arriving at this crossroads, and announcing you're there, is that you have !ust
indicated that you value simply reaching an agreement over getting what you actually
want. (nd a skilled negotiator on the other side may well use this moment as an
opportunity to stall, and thus to negotiate further concessions. -nless you actually face
e*treme time pressure, you shouldn't be the party to point out that the clock is loudly
ticking in the background. .reate a situation in which your counterpart is as eager to
finali)e the negotiation /or, better yet+ more eager01 than you are.
Dig Deeper: 'reating Win(Win Negotiations
). "Why don&t you throw out a nu*ber+" ,here are differing schools of thought
on this, and many people believe you should never be the first person in a negotiation
to 2uote a price. 3et the other side start the bidding, the thinking goes, and they will be
forced to show their hands, which will provide you with an advantage. ut some
research has indicated that the result of a negotiation is often closer to what the first
mover proposed than to the number the other party had in mind4 the first number
uttered in a negotiation /so long as it is not ridiculous1 has the effect of #anchoring the
conversation.# (nd one's role in the negotiation can matter, too. In the book
Negotiation, (dam 5. 6alinsky of 7orthwestern's 8ellogg 9chool of Management and
:oderick I. 9waab of I79;(5 in <rance write+ #In our studies, we found that the final
outcome of a negotiation is affected by whether the buyer or the seller makes the first
offer. 9pecifically, when a seller makes the first offer, the final settlement price tends to
be higher than when the buyer makes the first offer.#
Dig Deeper: ,argaining !or dvantage
-. "I'm the !inal de"ision *a%er." (t the beginning of many negotiations,
someone will typically ask, #"ho are the key stakeholders on your side, and is
everyone needed to make the decision in the room=# <or most entrepreneurs, the
answer, of course, is yes. "ho besides you is ever needed to make a decision= Isn't one
of the !oys of being an entrepreneur that you get to call the shots= Yet in negotiations,
particularly with larger organi)ations, this can be a trap. You almost always want to
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5 Things You Should Never Say While Negotiating | Inc.com http://www.inc.com/guides/!""/!"/#ive$things$to$never$say$while$neg...
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establish at the beginning of a negotiation that there is some higher authority with
whom you must speak prior to saying yes. In a business owner's case, that mysterious
overlord could be a key investor, a partner, or the members of your advisory board.
,he point is, while you will almost certainly be making the decision yourself, you do
not want the opposing negotiators to know that you are the final decision maker, !ust
in case you get cornered as the conversation develops. >articularly in a high-stakes
deal, you will almost certainly benefit from taking an e*tra BD hours to think through
the terms. <or once, be /falsely1 humble+ pretend like you aren't the person who makes
all of the decisions.
Dig Deeper: . Tips !or /aster!ul Negotiating
5. "0u"% you." ,he savviest negotiators take nothing personally4 they are impervious
to criticism and impossible to fluster. (nd because they seem unmoved by the whole
situation and unimpressed with the stakes involved, they have a way of unnerving
less-e*perienced counterparts. ,his can be an effective weapon when used against
entrepreneurs, because entrepreneurs tend to take every aspect of their businesses
very personally. ;ntrepreneurs often style themselves as frank, no-nonsense
individuals, and they can at times have thin skin. ut whenever you negotiate,
remember that it pays to stay calm, to never show that an absurdly low counter-offer or
an annoying stalling tactic has upset you. -se your e2uanimity to unnerve the person
who is negotiating with you. (nd if he or she becomes angry or peeved, don't take the
bait to strike back. Eust take heart+ You've grabbed the emotional advantage in the
situation. 7ow go close that deal.
Dig Deeper: The 1lti*ate 2uide to Negotiating
Did we miss a great negotiating tip? If so, let us know; post your feedback in the
comments section below.
3elated arti"les:
7egotiating 3ike a >ro
7egotiating "hen uying a usiness
,he (rt of ,he >ivot
Mike Hofman
Mike Cofman was previously editor of Inc.com and a deputy editor at Inc.
maga)ine, which he !oined in %AAF. ,he site was nominated for a 7ational
Maga)ine (ward for 5igital Media in B&%&, and was named the best business
website by <olio Maga)ine. In B&&F, Cofman was part of a team of writers
nominated for a "ebby (ward for best business blog. Ce lives in 7ew York
.ity.
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I :as eG)reme-y .ismaye. :"en I s"are. )"is ar)i,-e :i)" my :ife an. sons an. :e a-- "a. )o rea.
)"e fi-)"y -anguage you use....)"e LF... :or.L @o you no) "a*e any mora- ,ompass& manners or
.e,en,y a) a--2 @o you no) "a*e any in)egri)y or ,are as )o :"a) you p-a,e in fron) of your rea.ers.
An. for :"a) purpose .i. i) ser*e2 @i. i) make you fee- -ike a +ig man2 I "ope for i) ma.e you -ook
*ery sma--. Be "ones)& :ou-. you :an) your Mo)"er or Fa)"er or ,"i-.ren )o rea.
your -inguis)i, )ras"2 I sure "ope no) +u) you Mus) mig") surprise me )"ere a-soN @o you :an) )"a) )o
+e your -ega,y2 Hopefu--y )"a) is no) rea--y you. If so& you nee. )o rea--y s)ep +a,k& -ook a) )"e Lman
in )"e mirrorL an. "e-p "im ,-ean up "is a,).
Las) Oues)ion...:as )"e E.i)or ou) of )o:n )"e .ay your ar)i,-e :as re*ie:e.2 I "ope so. In fa,)& I
"ope )"e en)ire .epar)men) :as gone an. you :ere )"e on-y person )"ere. If no)& e*eryone :"o
a--o:e. your fi-)" )o +e prin)e. an. )"ere+y su--ying )"e repu)a)ion of LIn,L s"ou-. +e rig")fu--y
,as)iga)e. +y )op managemen).
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B#
Be a:are )"a) many peop-e may "a*e a "i..en ,ompe)ing agen.a& :"i," may +e "i..en )o
)"emse-*es as :e--. 0ou nee. )o .is,o*er )"is as soon as possi+-e& or you :i-- :as)e a -o) of )ime in
frus)ra)ing nego)ia)ion :on.ering :"y )"e person says LyesL +u) )akes no a,)ion. For eGamp-e& I :as
offering an ou)sour,e. in*es)men) so-u)ion J)o a finan,ia- p-anning firmK )"a) :as ,-ear-y superior )o
)"e ,ompany/s presen) arrangemen). Bu) )"e "i..en ,ompe)ing agen.a :as )"a) one of )"e par)ners
in )"e firm sa: "imse-f as )"e /in*es)men) eGper)/ an. my so-u)ion ou)sour,e. )"e in*es)men)
.e,isionEmaking& )"is person per,ei*e. "is /*a-ue/ in )"e par)ners"ip :ou-. +e .i-u)e.. 4o e*en
)"oug" my ser*i,eCoffering :as superior un)i- I a..resse. )"is persons per,ei*e. .eEposi)ioning& )"e
.ea- :as no) going )o ge) ,-ose..
Ho: ,rass an. unprofessiona- from a maga>ine )rying )o re-a)e )o a -arger au.ien,e )"a) you :ou-.
a--o: su," Mu*eni-e an. +ase < -e))er -anguage )o +e prin)e. in +o-. -e))ers on your page. I am
.e-e)ing you from any fur)"er emai-s. 1"is is an in.i,a)ion of :"a) our fu)ure +usiness men)a-i)y is
going )o +e2 #us) sa.. 0es i)s L on-y a :or.L )"a) any une.u,a)e. person :i)" a -a,k of ,rea)i*i)y
uses e*ery .ay.
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from :"ere )"e nego)ia)ions ,anno) mo*e fur)"er. I) s)ops )"e pro,ess& ra)"er )"an ena+-ing i). A
*ery po:erfu- p"rase )"a) I "a*e -earne. is )o ask )"e Oues)ion LBn.er :"a) ,ir,ums)an,es :ou-.
you ...L E +e,ause )"is may "ig"-ig") ne: possi+i-i)ies& an. a--o: you )o ,on,e.e some)"ing of -i))-e
*a-ue )o you& )o gain some)"ing you *a-ue "ig"-y.
I nego)ia)e a -o) one of my fa*ori)es is )o ask )"e o)"er par)y if )"ey are )ri,king me. I) is rea--y
.isarming an. more ineGperien,e. a))emp) )o pro*e )"ey are no).
5 Things You Should Never Say While Negotiating | Inc.com http://www.inc.com/guides/!""/!"/#ive$things$to$never$say$while$neg...
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Goo. :ork Mike "o:e*er I .i. no) -ike )"e F :or. &i :as p-anning )o s"are i) :i)" my frien.s
"o:e*er Mus) +e,ause of F :or. my i.ea go) ,an,:e--e. .3es) a-- is :e-- an. )"ank you for your
effor)s .
I/. -ike )o say )"a) )"is :as a grea) ar)i,-e an. )"anks for a-- )"e a.*i,e.
1o )"ose :"o are offen.e. +y )" F Bom+ ,ommen)& i) is a )erm use. )o .es,ri+e a si)ua)ion )"a) you
may +e fa,e. :i)" in )"e rea- :or-. an. frank-y if )"a) offen.e. you you/re mos) -ike-y )o "a*e an
unp-easan) )ime .ea-ing :i)" peop-e )"a) :i-- use any me)"o. )o s"o,k yo. @on/) rea,) an. .efina)e-y
.on/) moan a+ou) i)& Mus) )ake )"e -esson an. mo*e on...
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grea) :orkNNN
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rea.ers :"o ,onsis)en)-y an. s)rong-y argue :i)" )"is fee.+a,k in.i,a)e an ina+i-i)y )o use a s)rong
nego)ia)ing )oo-E )"e a+i-i)y )o Lrea.L an. *a-ue ano)"er/s per,ep)ion. W"en nego)ia)ing& un.ers)an.
your au.ien,e an. a.ap) a,,or.ing-y.
1ru-y& .o you rea--y use )"e F :or. in nego)ia)ions :i)" a prospe,) in*es)or or ,-ien)2 If you you .o&
:a*e +yeE+ye )o )"a) .ea-. May+e amongs) your )eam in a pri*a)e mee)ing if you "a*e )o. Au-gari)y
is no) ,oo-& i)/s unprofessiona-& sop"omori, an. un.is,ip-ine..
Was enMoying )"e ar)i,-e un)i- P8. I/m sure )"ere are -ess *u-gar :ays )"a) ,ou-. "a*e +een s)a)e.&
or a) -eas) :arne. )"a) -anguage :as ,oming. My ki.s of)en -ook o*er my s"ou-.er as I :ork on my
-ap)op.
W"y are your ki.s rea.ing o*er your s"o-.er :"i-e you :ork2 1"a) is )o)a--y unprofessiona-.
W"en I am nego)ia)ing :i)" someone an. I ,an )e-- )"ere are ki.s aroun.& I ask )"em )o fin.
a +e))er )ime an. ,u) )"e ,a-- s"or). In my :orkp-a,e& peop-e :"o )ry )o L:ork from "omeL )o
a*oi. .ay,are ,os)s are )"e firs) )o +e -ai. off...
Besi.es& your ki.s s"ou-. "a*e some)"ing +e))er )o .o )"a) )o rea. +usiness ar)i,-es o*er
)"eir paren)/s s"o-.erN
Hones) ar)i,-e. 1"is :as *ery "e-pfu-. 1"anksN
Bsua--y& I fo--o: )"e p"rase L+e):een su," an. su,"L :i)" a reasoning. For eGamp-e& :"en an
emp-oyer asks for a sa-ary reOuiremen) :"en you firs) app-y for a Mo+& I say LMy sa-ary reOuiremen)
is +e):een ?6(&((( E ?=(&((( .epen.ing on :"a) )"e Mo+ reOuiresL. I usua--y make )"e gap of )"e
):o *a-ues *ery -arge. By .oing )"is& you .on/) -ose your nego)ia)ing po:er rig") off )"e +a).
5 Things You Should Never Say While Negotiating | Inc.com http://www.inc.com/guides/!""/!"/#ive$things$to$never$say$while$neg...
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1"is :as super a.*i,e an. I -o*e )"e fee.+a,k an. I/*e -earne. so mu,". Working on my firs) .ea-
an. you a-- "a*e gi*en )"is up,oming BIG BO44 :K fa*ora+-e nego)ia)ing key poin)s. 0ACI 0ACI.
GO1 I1NNN 1HANI4N
Ms. AELine
msaE-ine!a,,essa-ine.,om
"))p:CCa,,essa-ine.,om
Aery goo. pos). Being "ones) an. genuine "e-ps a -o) an. -ea.s )o +e))er resu-)s. If )"e o)"er person
fee-s )"a) you rea--y ,are for "imC"er an. are :e-- prepare. for )"e nego)ia)ion& you/-- rea," a goo.
resu-) for +o)" par)ies.
In my pre*ious ,ommen)& p-ease su+s)i)u)e )"e L)o +eL as s"o:n +e-o::
an)i,ipa)ing )"e ,os)& i) ,ou-. +e +e):een )"e maGimum
An eG,e--en) pos). Ea," poin) ,an +e ,rea)i*e-y eGp-ore.. 1"e firs) one& for ins)an,e& a+ou)
/+e):een/... if you are gi*ing )"e impression )"a) you are an)i,ipa)ing )"e ,os) )o +e +e):een )"e
maGimum you :an) an. some more...may+e )"a) :ou-. :ork :"ere you are ,onfi.en) )"a) your
+usiness .e-i*ers )"e *ery +es) 3OI or Oua-i)y or +enefi).
I :ou-. sugges) )o no) ,on,e.e a .ea- poin) :i)"ou) )aking some)"ing off )"e )a+-e. Gi*ing :i)"ou)
ge))ing some)"ing in re)urn or remo*ing some)"ing from )"e .ea- ,rea)es )"e impression )"a) i) :as
f-uff )o +egin :i)" or you p-a,e no *a-ue in i). 1"en )"e o)"er par)y s)ar)s )o :on.er :"a) e-se ,ou-.
)"ey ge). I) :i-- a-so )es) )"e o)"er par)ies sensi)i*i)y )o ea," i)em an. "e-p you es)a+-is" *a-ue. If
)"ey .on/) :an) )o gi*e i) up& )"en )"ere is *a-ue asso,ia)e. :i)" i).
One poin) I may a.. is +ui-. rappore & Figure ou) )"e s)y-e an. :"a) makes )"e o)"er par)y )i,k
)"is ,an +e *ery impor)an) . If you ,an +ui-. )rus) an. respe,) in )"e +eginning you :i-- fing. mos)
peop-e :i-- -ean )o s)riking a .ea- :i)" someone )"ey "a*e fai)" in 1o keep )"ere :or.
@o your "ome :ork -ook a) a-- )"e op)ions per)aining )o ,-ose many )imes 7ri,e is no) as impor)an)
as )"e )erms in )"e .ea- ..
3ea--y pu)s )"e rea.er in)o )"e min.se) of +eing a) )"e nego)ia)ing )a+-e. Grea) :ri)ing& in,-u.ing
FE+om+ EE s"o:s "o: CON1EQ1 is keyN Goo. fee.+a,k from rea.ers as :e--. Wi-- .efini)e-y for:ar.
a -ink )o asso,ia)es...
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% ' R %< NeG) S ) 4u+s,ri+e +y emai- S 344
Reactions
4"o: more rea,)ions
Copyrig") T '(%% Mansue)o Aen)ures LLC. A-- rig")s reser*e..
1"anks Leggo
I foun. )"a) if )"e o)"er par)y fee-s )"a) you "a*e no s)reng)" Jsi, a.*an)ageK e*en )"oug" )"e firs)
par)y :an)sCnee.s your ser*i,eCpro.u,)& nego)ia)ion is poin)-ess.
Nego)ia)ion is a+ou) )ra.eEoffs on per,ei*e. a.*an)ages an. one )"a) .eEma)eria-i>es so .oes )"e
oppor)uni)y )o nego)ia)e.
Wayne 4pi*ak
4BA U Consu-)ing L1@
4BAConsu-)ing.,om
1:i))er
3emem+er )o se) your Ba)na JBes) A-)erna)i*e )o a nego)ia)e. agreemen)K& I) is no) possi+-e )o
rea," a nego)ia)e. agreemen) if i) is no) ,-ear :"a) is your fina- o+Me,)i*e.
Ni,e poin)& )"anks.
W"y )"e offensi*e -anguage2 7-ease +e professiona-& or -ose )"is rea.er.
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