A Brutally Honest and Pretty Embarrassing Timeline of How I Went From Apolitical Teen

to Angry Feminist
I wonder if I will ever reach the stage in my feminism where I wont be telling myself that
a year ago I still had no clue what I was tal!ing about" I wonder if that stage e#ists$ or if
Ill forever be disagreeing with past%me while thin!ing that present%me has it all figured
out" &oo!ing bac! though$ theres definitely been a pattern"
Phase '" ())*" Age '+"
The only times I had ever heard of feminism was when one of my parents would bring up
some potential social reform only to immediately dismiss it by claiming it was another
attempt by feminists to throw the world into chaos" ,Women already have all the rights
they need$ what more do these frea!s want-. they would as!" I would nod$ obviously"
I have it all figured out" Feminists are hairy$ bitter$ unnecessarily angry lesbians$ and
feminism is a movement fighting for nothing" I wish they would shut up" /e#ism is dead"
If anything$ women are treated with more respect than men" 0What is privilege-1 /ome
girls are sluts$ and thats immoral" 0What is the wage gap-1 Abortion is an irresponsible
choice" 0What are liberal and radical feminism-1 2ost women 3ust arent as good as men
in the e#act sciences because our brains are different" /crew being feminine$ I refuse to
wear dresses" Feminism is crap"
Everything was really simple"
Phase (" ()')" Age '4"
2y first e#posure to feminism that didnt come from my hostile family happened on
Tumblr bac! in my sad French%blogging days" 2y interest was pi5ued in a s!eptical !ind
of way$ but from that point on$ I would read the feminism%related te#ts I encountered$
both positive and negative"
I have it all figured out 6 not all feminists are hairy$ bitter lesbians7 Feminism is about
e5uality$ but there are so many bad apples$ I mean$ why are so many of them angry- If
you want people to listen to you$ you have to be !ind and educational" /e#ism isnt fully
dead$ and you can totally be se#ist against men too$ by the way" /ometimes women
arent treated with as much respect as men" The concept of privilege is an odd one$ why
would anyone thin! that I dont have any problems 3ust because Im white- /lut%
shaming$ that is$ shaming girls for being sluts$ is bad" The wage gap only e#ists because
women go into fields that pay less" Abortion is a choice" 0What are liberal and radical
feminism-1 2ost women 3ust arent as good as men in the e#act sciences because our
brains are different$ but I thin! Ill be able to ma!e it out there" /crew being feminine$
though$ I have to be strong" Feminism definitely has some merit"
What can I say$ I was '4 and had 3ust discovered this whole movement that was
guaranteed to piss off my parents if I got involved with it"
Phase 8" ()''" Age '9"
When I tried to e#plain feminism to the girls at my lunch table$ a friend told me that she
,would never be one of those femina:is$. and I nodded slightly uncomfortably and said$
,;eah$ sometimes they go too far". I uncritically read <aitlin 2oran and =essica >alenti
and thought that I had reached the pinnacle of enlightenment" I began see!ing out
reading material$ but was afraid to read anything that would contradict the ideas I
already had" It was too much"
I have it all figured out 6 not all feminists are hairy$ bitter lesbians7 Feminism is about
e5uality$ and any choice I ma!e is a feminist choice$ that is$ a choice made by a feminist"
2any others are angry$ but Ill never be li!e that" If you want people to listen to you$ you
have to be !ind and educational$ and Im ready to e#plain feminism to people if they as!"
/e#ism is alive$ but its mostly aimed at women" We arent treated with as much respect
as men" I have certain privileges$ but I wish social 3ustice bloggers didnt treat people li!e
me so badly 3ust for our privilege" /lut%shaming$ that is$ shaming girls for having se#$ is
bad$ and the se# positivity movement is e#actly what the world needs 0although Im still
!ind of uncomfortable with the whole idea of !in! and porn being unconditionally good$
not that I would ever tell anyone that$ because Im a feminist and its my 3ob to be se#%
positive1" Abortion is a valid choice" I guess Im a liberal feminist$ arent I- I dont
understand the concept of radical feminism" Women have as much potential in the
sciences as men$ and I thin! Ill ma!e it out there" I used to hate femininity$ but now I
!now its revolutionary and that red lipstic! and winged eyeliner will help us smash the
patriarchy" Feminism is great"
For the most part$ no one listened and I didnt try to tal!"
Phase ?" ()'(" Age '@"
By this point in time$ I was as involved with the cause as I reasonably could be" I had
read enough articles to have actual opinions of my own for the first time in my life" The
need to debate was strong$ but so was the an#iety I e#perienced when faced with
confrontation" Aeading conflicting ta!es on feminism made me uncomfortable$ but I
found that by doing so$ I would often start to lean towards one particular viewpoint"
I dont have it all figured out" /ome feminists are hairy$ bitter lesbians$ which is totally
o!ay because feminism is about e5uality and respect for all women" Any choice I ma!e
is a valid one$ even if its not necessarily feminist" 2any others are angry$ and so am I"
Why do people e#pect us to answer the same 5uestions over and over again- 2isogyny
is alive and well$ but misandry isnt real$ and its odd that so many people are demanding
proof of these basic facts" Women are rarely treated with as much respect as men"
Bespite that$ I have certain privileges" /e#%shaming is bad$ but I feel li!e the se#
positivity movement has a number of issues$ does anyone else feel the same- I am pro%
choice" I dont thin! Im a liberal feminist$ but Im definitely not a radical feminist" Women
have as much potential in the sciences as men$ and I !now Ill ma!e it out there$ even if I
encounter obstacles" I used to hate femininity$ but now I wish I had more occasions to
wear dresses$ even though I reali:e that red lipstic! and winged eyeliner will not help us
smash the patriarchy" Feminism is necessary"
It was progress"
Phase +" ()'8" Age '*"
2y opinions on the big issues had solidified$ and it was time to ta!e the ne#t stepC Tea
and Feminism was created in =uly"
Dh Eod$ I didnt e#pect there to be so many people as!ing my opinions about things" I
have nothing figured out7 I still have a lot to learn about this stuff7 But hey$ I definitely will
not respond to your accusations about how feminists are hairy$ bitter lesbians$ because I
refuse to throw other women under the bus to ma!e myself loo! less threatening for you"
Feminism is about liberation$ not e5uality$ and although the choices I ma!e to adhere to
my gender role are valid$ they arent helping the cause" I am the angriest of the angry$
dont you dare tell me to calm down or demand that I educate you" I am not your search
engine" 2isogyny is everywhere$ but misandry isnt even real$ and if you cared about the
,proof. youre demanding as much as you claim to$ you would already !now that"
Women are constantly shit on" Bespite that$ I have certain privileges$ and its my
responsibility to use that for good" The se# positivity movement is bullshit because it
clearly ta!es patriarchal ideas and presents them as being good for us without even
ta!ing the time to analy:e the implications" I am pro%choice and pro%abortion$ because
abortion is a valid and responsible choice" Im definitely not a liberal feminist$ but I dont
thin! Im a radical feminist" Women have as much potential in the sciences as men$ and
I !now Ill ma!e it out there$ even though I will encounter obstacles" The hatred that so
many young girls feel for femininity is evidence of internali:ed misogyny$ but its e5ually
important to reali:e that red lipstic! and winged eyeliner are a performance we are
e#pected to put on$ and will not help us smash the patriarchy" Fltimately$ feminism saved
me from being a terrible person$ and I couldnt be more grateful"
Which brings us to now"
Im turning () this year$ and I dont !now if phase 4 will be all that different from phase +"
If anything$ this whole process has been li!e climbing a logistic regression 0oops$ math1C
it was slow in the beginning$ a 5uic! ascension in the middle$ and lately its been loo!ing
li!e its levelled off again" &earning about feminism was li!e being inside a divide%and%
con5uer algorithm$ where you ta!e a big problem and divide it into smaller subproblems$
and divide those subproblems into even smaller subproblems$ and so on$ until youre
e#amining the smallest pieces possible" Dnce your stances on the overarching issues
solidify$ you brea! these 5uestions into smaller ones until you have opinions about
everything that initially elicited an ,I dont !now$ I havent considered that". And the
process never stops" There is always another case to consider that brings certain details
to light and ma!es you 5uestion if you were right to begin with"
I probably disagree with some of the things Ive said since this blog started" I wouldnt be
surprised" But because of the /%curve$ whatever differences e#ist between then and now
wont be huge ones$ unli!e the differences that e#ist between the way I thought in ())*
and the way I thin! now$ in ()'?" That change has been absolutely radical" Gnowing that
this is where I ended up when I could have ended up nec!%deep in bigotry feels li!e 5uite
an accomplishment" Ive done well"