100 Good Reasons to Fear Italy

(A Formal Disproof of the Supercilious

Cento buoni motivi per amare l'Italia
Published in the Corriere della Sera [Edizione Speciale, 19 May 2014]
!
"#$ of the !talians possess a hi%h school education&
!!
20$ of the !talian population e'ceeds the a%e of #"&
!!!
!taly has one of the last(place birthrates in the )orld&
!*
Mozzarella bufala is culti+ated ne't to %arba%e dumps filled )ith ille%ally deposited
nuclear )aste materials&
*
,ne does not as- if !talian politicians are corrupt&
,ne as-s )hether or not all !talian politicians are corrupt or .ust most of them&
*!
!talians ha+e substituted Desi%n for /eauty&
*!!
!n 0uscany1 2mbria1 3a4io1 5ampania and Pu%lia1
oli+e oil is adulterated )ith oli+e oil from other nations&
*!!!
!talians ha+e politici4ed the 6oman 5atholic church&
!7
!taly is e'cruciatin%ly pro+incial(minded&
7
!taly is dis%ustin%ly )asteful&
7!
!taly is obsessi+ely concerned )ith form&
7!!
!taly is a prisoner of its Past&
7!!!
!taly is anti(scientific&
7!*
!talians re+el in bein% unreliable&
7*
!talians refuse to re%enerate their race&
7*!
!talians spin their )heels ner+ously and desperately but %o no)here&
7*!!
!talians confound 8ustice )ith in.ustice&
7*!!!
!o i"parato c#e in Italia biso$na parlar bene di tutti%
&uando dici una cosa catti'a succede un putiferio%
(a capacit) di "oltiplicare l*odio da parte delle persone di cui parli "ale + infinita%
Io non odio e non 'o$lio essere odiato%
,on 'o$lio "ettere in circolazione tossine di "alani"o%
&uesto + un -aese di odiatori professionisti%.
An !talian .ounalist
7!7
/ecause the !talians are so +i%orously bossed1
they possess an ardent desire to be bosses&
77
!talian public transport is plastered )ith si%ns
ur%in% battered )omen to report their boyfriends or husbands to the police&
77!
!talian uni+ersities are a national tra%edy&
,nly t)o are rated in the top 200 in the )orld&
77!!
!talian bureaucracy is a torture&
77!!!
!taly9s )or- mar-et is counterproducti+e&
77!*
0he !talian .udicial system is criminally dilatory&
77*
Meritocracy is none'istent&
77*!
0he Mediterranean mother attempts to satisfy all the desires of her son1
-eepin% him close to her1 thus eliminatin% his sense of responsibility&
77*!!
!taly is last in :urope for the number of )omen1 11&9$1
in mana%erial positions&
77*!!!
!talian )omen are the most +iolent in :urope&
77!7
!n !taly one of e+ery fi+e fifteen(year(old is illiterate&
777
0he educational le+el of the 2"(#4 !talian a%e %roup is the lo)est in :urope&
777!
10$ of the !talians ha+e a uni+ersity de%ree1
and many of these de%rees ha+e been effectuated in three years (mini de%rees&
777!!
;0$ of !talian boys and %irls a%ed 1"(19 left school in 2012&
777!!!
Calcio (football1 soccer has substituted 5hristianity as !taly9s number one reli%ion&
777!*
0he stadium is the rectum into )hich the 5entral !ntelli%ence A%ency
inserts its thermometer to ta-e the temp of the le+el of !talian +iolence&
777*
"0$ of the ban- robberies in :urope ta-e place in !taly&
777*!
Frenchman Andr< =luc-smann said the !talians are the best buffoons
on a continent )ithout a brain in its head&
777*!!
!taly9s ,lympic medal )innin%s are slo)ly diminishin%&
777*!!!
After =reece and 0ur-ey1 !taly is the most corrupt nation in :urope&
777!7
!n !taly1 churches are about to be con+erted into bars1 %yms and hotels&
73
!talians continue to chant racist1 'enophobic1 and anti(Semitic
monotonous repetiti+e insults in their stadiums&
73!
!talians refuse to learn lan%ua%es&
73!!
0he diminishin% ma%netism of medie+al municipalities is settin% bac-
!talian tourism&
73!!!
!talians are bra4enly unhappy&
73!*
!talians do not reali4e that >austerity? is a measure of @orthern :uropean countries
to try to eliminate the rampant corruption in Southern :urope&
73*
*atican cardinals are fi%htin% o+er )hich cathedral )ill host
Sil+io /erlusconi9s funeral&
73*!
!talian lu'ury %oods9 entrepreneurs are ludicrously stupid&
73*!!
!talians do it )orse&
73*!!!
!talian art has become a +ul%ar e'pedient&
73!7
!taly is a res publica that mana%es emer%encies instead of
plannin% for the lon%(term a+oidance of them&
3
!talian chefs are culinary fascists&
3!
!talians can deal )ith disasters but not )ith achie+ement&
3!!
,ne in three !talians has the competence to enter the 21
st
century&
3!!!
0he !talians coo-ed their boo-s in order to enter the :uropean 2nion&
3!*
Most !talian youth thin- a fine(loo-in% car is more important
than a uni+ersity de%ree&
3*
0housands of !talian schools are poisoned )ith asbestos1
many of them ha+e not been certified to be built in earthAua-e 4ones1
and plaster falls on the heads of -ids durin% school&
3*!
!talian .ournalists are o+erpaid e'Auisite liars&
3*!!
,ld bus roofs9 lea- durin% rains&
3*!!!
=ian Franco Funari stated that the !talians are the )orld9s
bi%%est hypocrites&
3!7
=ian Franco Fini stated that /enito Mussolini
)as the 20
th
century9s %reatest statesman&
37
!talians ha+e no idea of the Art of Sur+i+al&
37!
!talians lo+e to suffer and they e'pect you to suffer )ith them&
37!!
!talian or%ani4ed crime is not e'traneous to !talian society&
!t is )ell rooted in that society&
!talian or%ani4ed crime is an e'pression of the character of the !talian people&
@aturally1 some re%ions of !taly are more reprehensible than others&
Cosa ,ostra, *,dran$#eta, Ca"orra, Stidda and Sacra Corona /nita do not e'ist&
!talian criminals e'ist and they pretend to be part of these or%ani4ations
about )hich Bolly)ood in+ents myths&
37!!!
!taly9s economic %ro)thCsince 1990Cis the slo)est in :urope&
37!*
!taly9s family(o)ned firms are under sie%e&
37*
Most !talians are reducin% the len%th of their +acations1
)hile others are ta-in% out ban- loans1 if they can %et them1
to %o on holiday&
37*!
!taly9s medie+al infrastructure needs to be re+amped&
37*!!
!taly9s corporate scandals are a daily phenomena&
37*!!!
"0$ of !talians bet)een the a%es of ;0(;4 li+e )ith their parents&
37!7
0#e Econo"ist has traditionally called !taly >0he Sic- Man of :urope&?
377
Dhen the E )as instituted1 dishonest !talians chan%ed F1000
to E1&00 (not E0&"0 )ithout respectin% the fact that E1&00 eAualed F119;#&
377!
"0$ of !talian uni+ersity students do not finish their studies&
377!!
(a 1olce 2ita is -aput&
377!!!
!taly is happier than Slo+a-ia1 but less happy than Slo+enia&
377!*
!taly is more competiti+e than Ga4a-hstan1 but less competiti+e than 3ithuania&
377*
!talians are champions in ta-in% le%al and ille%al dru%s and medicines&
377*!
!taly is more corrupt than Gu)ait1 but less corrupt than Montene%ro&
377*!!
Pedophilic priests en.oy immunity in !taly&
377*!!!
Pedophilic nuns en.oy immunity in !taly&
377!7
3ess than 10$ of the !talian population earns more than E;000&00Hmonth&
3777
!t is impossible to do business in !taly )ithout trippin% o+er the *atican&
3777!
!taly is on its )ay to e'tinction&
3777!!
0he %lue that has -ept the !talian nation state to%ether for decades
is almost dried up&
3777!!!
0here are ali+e in !taly hu%e secessionist mo+ements&
3777!*
!taly )as the most enthusiastic nation )illin% to .oin the :uropean 2nion&
@o) it is one of the most 4ealous countries )antin% to abandon it&
3777*
!talians )ill easily initiate a pro.ect&
/ut )hen thin%s start %oin% amiss1 their 4eal Auic-ly fi44les out&
3777*!
0he !talian peninsula is littered )ith uncompleted derelict buildin% pro.ects&
3777*!!
!talians function for themsel+es& @ot for their nation&
3777*!!!
!talians confuse confusion )ith creati+e %enius&
3777!7
Iou ta-e your life into your hands )hen you cross an !talian streetCe+en on
the striped1 mar-ed(off safety 4ones&
75
!talians do not belie+e in themsel+es1
but they e'pect others to belie+e in them&
75!
A banner in an !talian stadiumJ
>De are not racists& De are !talian racists& De hate e+eryone&?
75!!
A third of %raduatin% !talian en%ineers lea+e !taly&
75!!!
"0$ of !talian business mana%ers read a daily ne)spaper&
75!*
22$ of !talian teachers are o+er #0 years of a%e&
75*
0he problem for a forei%ner li+in% in !taly
is that he or she must fore+er fi%ht for 0he 0ruth of thin%s&
75*!
0he most(read ne)spaper in !taly is a sports .ournal&
75*!!
,nly 1&2 children are born to e+ery !talian )oman&
75*!!!
At e+ery fifty meters one tra+els by car in !taly1
one finds an unauthori4ed street si%n or publicity&
75!7
!n the 19K0s1 !taly )as at the top for tourist presence&
0oday it is fifth&
5
!n autumn1 !taly becomes the 3and of 3andslides&
Authored by Anthony St& 8ohn
# 8une MM7!*
5alen4ano1 !taly
)))&scribd&comHthe)ord)arrior
L L L