Courteous. Trusting. Good-natured. Cooperative. Tolerant.

These are the traits your mother told you -- repeatedly -- to embrace. "They'll make people like
you." "You'll always have friends." "You'll go far."
om was wrong! at least as far as business success is concerned.
y colleagues and " studied the careers of more than #!$%% people over a &%-year period. 'orry!
om! we found that being too nice won't boost you up the corporate ladder.
(ur findings didn't )ust hint at it! either. The evidence was overwhelming* +eing too nice can
deter your career progress and muddle your effectiveness as a leader. The degree to which a
person is trusting of others as well as likable ,good-natured! cheerful! gentle- hurt his or her
salary level and number of promotions.
.ow about nurturing! sympathetic and supportive/ These 0ualities impede management
potential. 1greeable/ 2esearch indicated it was negatively related to salary! occupational status!
involvement in work and whether an individual stood out as a leader.
"t's not all bad news. +eing affable relates to )ob and life satisfaction! and people with that 0uality
tend to engage in less counterproductive behavior -- vital in )obs re0uiring cooperation.
Why being nice hurts your career
'o! why is it a problem for career success/ (ne reason* 3eople with this natural personality trait
may be less likely to face confrontation or other difficulties at work.
" once worked with a hospital's vice president for marketing! a truly likable person. 'uccessful in
her early career! she started having trouble when she reached the vice president level. 'he faced
significantly more power struggles and conflicts in situations where she needed to be firm or take
a stand. any times for harmony! she deferred to others. (ver time! more assertive e4ecutives
ended up simply ignoring her! making decisions without her. 5rustrated! she eventually left the
hospital.
1 leader must be able to perform in ways challenging for someone who is hard-wired for
cooperation. "6et's all get along" )ust doesn't work in the workplace.
To be a successful manager! you have to manage controversial issues as well as provide
constructive ,and not always positive- feedback. You'll have to make difficult decisions and help
correct poor performance. 1dded to this! you'll have to be able to deal effectively with conflict and
take less popular stands when needed -- challenging for those who want to be liked.
"f you are that type of person! you may also be much less likely to stand up for yourself because
you don't want to rock the boat! or be less assertive in asking for raises! promotions and career
opportunities. Thus! others may take advantage of you or you might not get recogni7ed for your
accomplishments.
"t has been proved that when "nice" leaders fail to manage conflicts! make hard decisions or deal
with problem subordinates or areas! they are often accused of not providing strong leadership!
lacking courage or )ust frankly needing to be tougher.
Being mean is not the answer
8oes this mean you have to be mean/ 1bsolutely not. Going to the other e4treme and being
abrasive! or a to4ic co-worker or leader! is e0ually damaging to your career! as well as to others
in the organi7ation. 6et me repeat* The evidence is overwhelming that being abrasive!
disrespectful! abusive and mean will also derail a career.
(verall! being trusting! cooperative! forgiving and tolerant are all good things. +ut it's critical to
recogni7e that any trait used in e4cess or inappropriately can become a weakness.
.ow do you change a personality trait/ 9hile traits generally drive a person's behavior! they don't
necessarily dictate behavior. Your behaviors should be aligned with your work role and
goals. 'ome of these behaviors may actually be counter to your natural predispositions! but most
people want to help their organi7ations succeed.
Your next steps to success
5irst! you should determine what traits are preventing you from accomplishing goals or engaging
in behaviors important to your )ob! or are creating negative perceptions of you as an employee
and leader.
:e4t! be fle4ible in your personality and business styles. 9hile the natural tendency of the vice
president of marketing for the hospital was to be cooperative and fle4ible! she needed to speak
up and take a firm stand on ma)or decisions. .owever counter this was to her natural tendency!
she needed to be versatile in her leadership style to handle new responsibilities.
Finding a balance
Can being too nice hurt your career/ Yes. Can being too mean also kill your promotion chances/
Yes.
" have facilitated many talent management reviews for ma)or corporations. 1s individuals were
reviewed by other senior e4ecutives! phrases such as "won't make the hard decisions"; "doesn't
manage conflict"; "not sure he can lead us through the hard times"; "too much of a pushover";
"nice person but never gets anything done" ended up hurting individuals being considered for
promotion.
<0ually! phrases such as "gets results! but mows over people"; "can't manage a team"; "smart but
has an abrasive interpersonal style"; "creates conflict"; "adversarial and doesn't solve problems in
a productive fashion" ended up on the negative side of the review.
The keys are balance and versatility -- to apply the most appropriate behaviors as necessary for
organi7ational goals. 1t times! it may be counter to your natural personality and outside your
comfort 7one. =eep this in mind* 2emain authentic to who you are! but take the most appropriate
actions needed for your leadership situation.
+ing* Tips on office politics
Dr. Christine Riordan, Dean of the University of Denver's Daniels College of Business, leads a
global network of over 33,000 faculty, staff, students, and aluni in !roviding business education,
grounded in ethics and dedicated to transforing lives. "he has a national re!utation as a
leadershi! develo!ent and work!lace diversity e#!ert and consults regularly with cor!orations
on strategic !lanning, leadershi! develo!ent activities, diversity anageent, and tea
!erforance.