Exercise 13.

1 Wordiness


Each of these paragraphs or sentences contains far too
many words. Edit them so that they use fewer words but
still retain the same information and meaning.

1. Thorough knowledge of the academic regulations and
policies of the University and its academic divisions is
essential for all students. Each student is expected to
become familiar with the University of Westmedia
undergraduate catalog and to consult with the academic
advisers provided by the student's division.


2. She donated $25,000 of her own money to the cause.


3. The company makes labels for a wide variety of
products found in retail stores and outlets.


4. Revenue reductions for the state will amount to $500
million if the programs are eliminated.


5. People in Asian countries have been eating jellyfish
as a delicacy for hundreds of years.


6. As you carefully read what you have written to improve
your wording and catch small errors of spelling,
punctuation, and so on, the thing to do before you do
anything else is to try to see where sequences of
subjects and verbs could replace the same ideas expressed
in nouns rather than verbs.


7. The committee made the decision to wait until they had
more information that would help them in making a final
determination.


8. They entered into an agreement to take all the
necessary steps to complete the task in a timely manner.





















Exercise 13-4 Redundancies

Correct for style, spelling and grammatical errors.
Also, tighten to remove redundancies, but do not rewrite
this story. Underline changes you make. You may use
dictionary and style book.

Zipping through the sky, like 7 irate super-charged
bees, they dart and flit trying to cut off each other's
tail. Its all part of combat. In attempting a kill, quite
often one will plunge down to the ground.
If you've ever wished there was something
different and exciting you could do on a Sunday
afternoon, then mark the third Sunday of every month on
your calendar. That's when the Azalea City Model Aero
Club meets at its field on the old Irvington landfill
site to do battle, get together and fly remote-controlled
airplanes.
``Each plane trails a long colorful crepe paper
tail,'' said President Richard Moore. ``The goal is to
cut off the other plane's tail. The pilot who registers
the most cuts is the winner.''
ACMA holds an open combat event every third
Sunday of each month. Heat times are 3 p.m., 4 p.m. and 5
p.m. All pilots are welcome, however, they must be AMA
members. ``Open'' means anything that is airworthy can be
flown.
``Combat is where a number of people can fly any
type plane,'' said Frits Jetten, the clubs Vice
President. ``But you don't want to fly an expensive
plane. The plane that most pilots fly is basically just a
wing with a small fuselage. One that is fast and agile.
You certainly don't want to fly your best plane. I've
seen as many as eleven go up with no collisions, but
sometimes there is a kill, and you might lose the entire
plane.''
All the planes go up into the air at once. Each
pilot has a spotter who helps him keep an eye on his
plane. Pilots and spotters stand more than 100 yards from
the planes which are flying overhead. There might be
other planes with similar colors, but with the aid of the
spotter, the pilot can concentrate on their own flying
skills, while the spotter keeps an eye on the entire
field and tells the pilot when his plane is straying
away.
Frits Jetten's present combate plane is a blue
and white plane, Scat Cat, that has been crashed several
times, but after each crash Jetten has been able to make
repairs and continue to fly, and make cuts.
Gordon Barton's flying wing (the Spook) revealed
pilot error in a recent heat race. Gordon was keeping
too close to the ground and apparently lost concentration
for a couple seconds, and the Spook fell down to the
ground below.
``A few pilots do not think they are good enough,
or are not ready to fly combat.'' Barton says. ``If you
have graduated past the high wing trainer and can do the
standard aerobatic maneuvers rolls, loops, fly inverted,
and land smoothly you can fly combat. Anyone wanting to
fly can touch base with any of our combat pilots, and
they will be willing to provide advice and insight to
anyone wanting to get active into combat.`
You do not need to own a plane or be a member of
the club to enjoy the flying activities. The events are
free to spectators, and the public is invited at no
charge.














Exercise 13-5 Errors, style and clarity

The following story has a number of errors that need to be
corrected. Read through it carefully and make any changes you
believe are necessary so that it will be clear to a reader.

Flooding due to last nights rain storm, has damaged
sevierely consturction work on the citys newest radio station.
WXXg, which was secheduled to go on the air next month, has
had its air date moved back at least a mont, according to
station spokesman Linda Rival.
Miss Rival, who is also one of the stations co-owners and
has been advertised as planning to be one of the stations
diskjockeys, said the floods severely damaged the interiro of
the station and knowked down the half-completed towar.
We havent detemined the full extent of the damage, said
Miss Rival, but Is sure its going to be bad.
She said the station would be delayed at least a month in
going on the air.
The flooding was caused by some heavy rains that feel
throughout the state earlier in the weak. Several homs and
businessses in the area of the station known as Flat plains was
reported damaged.













Exercise 13-8 Editing a longer story

This may take some time. Read this story carefully and
note any questions you have about it. You may want to
discuss these with your instructor. Edit the story so
that it conforms to AP style. Make sure you deal with
other problems in the story.

A Midville policeman shot a criminal during a
struggle early Tuesday, then had his weapon turned on him
before the suspect fleed and was overpowered by two other
officers, police said.
Officer David Stuart shot Anthony Douglas, 31 of
Duval Street, in the left side as they grappled over
Stuarts .357-caliber handgun pistol behind a house in the
1000 block of Cherokee Street early in the morning
shortly after 2 a.m., police said.
After being shot, Douglas continued to fight and
Stuart fired again but missed, police said. Douglas then
managed to take Stuart's eapon and pointed it at the
officer before running off, police say.
The suspect was found moments later hiding near
apartments several blocks away on Murray Hill Court, said
police spokesman Tom Regan. Two officers nabbed him,
Regan said.
Douglas apparently discarded the deadly weapon
after leaving Stuart, Regan said. Investigators found it
in a yard near the scene of his altercation with the
officer, he said.
Douglas a convicted felon who was released from
the penitentiary in December and was listed in stable but
guarded condition Tuesday evening at Springhill Memorial
Hospital, a spokeswoman declared.
Stuart was scratched during the confrontation, but
the spokeswoman said that between the suspect and he,
neither was bad hurt. It was difficult to tell who's
injury was worst.
Douglas will be charged with first-degree robery
because he took Stuart's weapon by force, Regan said. He
likely will face more additional charges, the spokesman
insisted.
Stuart, a five-year veteran, will be assigned to
administrative duties until the departments shooting
examination team finishes its review, Regan said. The
special group of officers investigates any use of deadly
force by officers.
The reviews of any fatal police-involved shooting
is routinely sent to the district attorney's office,
Cashdollar said. He said a report on Tuesday's shooting
must be sent to District Attorney John Johnson Jr.
No one is more interested than him in such
shootings, Tyson said. Such inquiries have only one
purpose getting at the truth, he added. The district
attorney spoke like he would look into the matter
personally.
Tuesday's chase-and-struggle began shortly after 2
a.m. when Stuart, patroling Duval Street noticed an older
model Dodge 600 parked in Baumhauer Park, police said.
When Stuart turned his marked cruiser around to check out
the car, the vehicle drived off in a hurry with its
lights off, police said.
Stuart confronted Douglas at gunpoint as he leaped
out of the passengers side of his car, but Douglas
grabbed the weapon, police said. Douglas broke away and
ran around the side of a house, where Stuart again met
him with his gun drawn from his holster, police said.
Douglas grabbed the gun and tried to move it
toward Stuart's face, according to police. Stuart forced
the gun down and fired a shot, hitting Douglas in the
side, police said. The scuffle continued, however, and
Stuart tripped over an air-conditioning unit, losing
control of his gun, police said. Douglas picked up the
weapon, pointed it at Stuart and ordered him to flee,
police said. When Stuart slipped, Douglas ran off, police
said.
Thompson and officer Tim McDonald spotted Douglas
moments later near apartments in a cul-de-sac on Murray
Hill Court, Regan said.
Reagan said he was ``not aware'' that
investigators had found anything illegal in Douglas's
vehicle. The investigation, however, is continuing. The
spokesman added that he did not know what affect such a
finding might have or whether a jury might be adverse to
such evidemce.

Commas exercise 01

This exercise consists of 10 sentences. Re-type each sentence inserting commas in the
correct locations. the directions of your instructor in completing this exercise. A link appears
at the end of the sentences that gives an explanation for each sentence.
1. Abraham Lincoln was elected to his second term in 1864 but he did not serve out his full
term.

2. Claude Monet, the famous impressionist painter lived around the turn of the century.

3. After seeing him lying there the boy ran for help.

4. Three of the nations largest circulation newspapers are USA Today the New York Times
and the Wall Street Journal.

5. She should not have been out that late the father said.

6. Bill Clinton of Hope, Ark. was elected president in 1992.

7. Yes I was there when it happened, the witness said defiantly.

8. She cautioned him to be silent not to speak and not even to breathe.

9. He was born in London, England in 1939 and moved to America two years later.


10. The letter said he would arrive on Nov. 15 1980, but he never was seen again.

Grammar problems exercise 01

This tutorial will test your ability to recognize various types of grammar and punctuation
problems. Each of the 10 sentences in this exercise contains some type of problem. You are
to select what type of problem from the list below the sentence.

When you are finished, follow the directions of your instructor. (Exiting or quitting this
screen before your have saved or printed it will likely delete your answers.)

1. Andrs Segovia, one of the finest guitarists of the 20th century and, too, an expert on
Johann S. Bach.


2. The hour is too early, the coffee is too cold.

pronoun-antecedent agreement


3. The team climbed onto the bus, celebrating their victory with loud singing and shouting.


4. I doubt that whomever stole the watch is going to return it.


5. Both the music and the moon were beautiful that night as ships quietly slipped in and out
of the harbor.

run-on sentence


6. The president did not get any of his bills through Congress, however, he prevented the
opposition from having much success.


7. Dr and Mrs Charles Reynolds were the guests honored by the civic clubs last night.


8. A lawyer can easily handle a problem such as that, but getting an appointment with them
is not easy.


9. There were too many books on the shelf; too many papers on his desk; too many
magazines on the floor; and too much clutter all over the room.


10. By striking the clock signaled to us that it was time to leave.




Subject-verb agreement exercise 01

This exercise consists of 10 sentences. For each sentence you should decide if the subject
agrees with the verb. If so, type the word "Correct" in the space below the sentence; if not,
write the sentence correctly in the box below it. Follow the directions of your instructor in
completing this exercise. A link appears at the end of the sentences that gives an
explanation for each sentence.
1. None of the members of the first team are playing in the fourth quarter.
correct

2. The family was gathering from around the country for the funeral.

3. Today's news media is generally considered to be politically liberal.

4. Rachel, despite everyones best efforts, was not able to pass the test.

5. Present at the ceremony was the big league pitcher Mike OKelley and his brother Robert.

6. Thelma and Louise, the movie, make some telling points about women in our society.

7. Everyone, even the smartest ones among us, has a bad day now and then.

8. Either her doctor or her lawyer has a standing appointment to visit her every morning.

9. "Ty Cobb plays baseball with fire in his belly," one of his contemporaries said.

10. Both Mary and Joan play the piano with ease and grace.






Word choice 01 answers

Word precision - that is, using words for exactly what they mean - is an important
skill for a writer. This is an exercise that will help improve your skill in this area. You
will be shown a sentence and asked to select one of two words that should go in the
sentence. (Hold the clicker down on the arrows on the right of the button to see your
choices.) There are 15 sentences on this exercise. When you finish the exercise,
follow the directions of your instructor. (If you exit or quit the file without saving and
printing, you work will probably be deleted.)
1. She has ___________ books than he does.
less, fewer

2. Mary works _________ with John.
well, good

3. Jason named his pet __________ Mary Ann.
peacock, peahen

4. Greg doesn't practice _______ he should.
as, like

5. General Hartley ordered his men to fire the ______ .
cannon, canon

6. The boy was able to ________ the kidnapper.
allude, elude
7. "_________ there?" the child asked.
whos, whose

8. The ___________ goal is to establish open lines of communication.
principle, principal

9. "___________ the thought that counts," she said.
its, its

10, The politician distributed _______ to shoppers.

flyers
fliers, flyers

11. Julia Child, noted __________, will be airing a new show in April.

gourmet
gourmand, gourmet

12. The rain showers will continue to ____ through the weekend.
pore, pour

13. The FCC is currently deciding whether a record industry _______ is needed.
censor, censer

14. The committee is debating whether to spend the money ________ putting it in another
fund.
verses, versus

15. The inspector promised to keep him ______________ of the situation.
appraised, apprised