Triangular Theory of Love

Types of Love: Psychology and the Triangular Theory of Love

This theory was advanced by Robert Sternberg. The theory proposes three building blocks
which must be present for love to be complete. Absence of one or more blocks in a love
relationship can lead to its disintegration.
The Three Building Blocks of Love
Passion
This is mainly associated with physical arousal. Passion causes people to be physically moved by
the presence of their partner. However, passion may also encompass any other deep emotional
satisfaction that partners derive from the relationship.
Intimacy
This comprises a mutual feeling of closeness and attachment to each other. Intimacy causes
partners in a love relationship to have a strong bond connecting them. It makes them feel at
ease with each other.
Commitment
Unlike the other two blocks, commitment involves a conscious decision to stick with one
another. The decision to remain committed is mainly determined by the level of satisfaction
that a partner derives from the relationship.
The Types of Love Using These Building Blocks
Sternberg came up with a triangular model where the three love components take the vertices
of the triangle. The three love components interact with each other to generate seven distinct
kinds of love.
Sternbergs seven kinds of love
Consummate Love
This is the ideal kind of love in which all the three components are present in their right
proportions. This form of love is considered to produce the perfect couple. The love
relationship can survive over a very long time. However, it can also die if any of the three
components start to diminish.
Fatuous Love
This occurs when people make commitments based on passion without the element of
intimacy. Lack of the stabilizing effect of intimacy makes the relationship disintegrate as passion
diminishes with time.
Companionate Love
Companionate love is the kind that exists among family members. It involves intimacy and long-
term commitment .This kind of love is characteristic of many couples who still remain
affectionate and committed to each other long after passion dies.
Romantic Love
This form of love happens as a result of intimacy and passion. Such couples are attracted to
each other physically and have strong emotional bond. However, there is absence of
commitment in the relationship.
Empty Love
This is characterized by the absence of intimacy and passion. Partners in such a relationship are
only committed to each other.
Infatuated Love
It is a form of love driven by passion only. Intimacy and commitment can develop over time
making infatuated love to graduate to romantic and consummate love. However, it can
diminish quite easily if the other components do not come in.
Liking
It is characterized by feelings of friendship. There are feelings of warmth and closeness towards
each other. However, there is absence of commitment and any strong passion towards each
other.
Non-love
This happens where there is absence of all the three components. People just interact casually
with one another.
The triangular theory of love has been criticized especially due to its inability to specify the time
or point in which one form of love evolves to another. However, it has been tested for its
validity and found to hold some water.