Running head: 310 JOURNAL REFLECTIONS

Journal Reflections
Shanne McCaffery
Emily Hamblin
June 15, 2014
V00778460
CYC 310









310 JOURNAL REFLECTIONS 2
This assignment contains some pieces of a written journal I have been keeping
throughout the duration of my practicum experience. I will now describe journal entries that I
think are most applicable to the grading criteria of this assignment.
April 23
th
was the second day that I began my work at detox. This is the first day I really
had a good conversation with the manager (Cheryl) regarding my competency in the work place.
I asked Cheryl to be open with me regarding my competency in the work place, even if there is
anything personal she notices I am very open to feedback. I chose to confront Cheryl regarding
this due to a not ideal experience with my last practicum. Cheryl told me that she would certainly
give me feedback but so far her feedback is only that I mesh very well with staff and in the work
environment, that I am lovely and that I act very professional and she is impressed. This makes
me feel very happy and more relaxed. I realize I would love to work at SYD.
One of the first days in my journal that stands out to me occurred on May 5
th
. On this day
I came in, grabbed a shift change form and sat down. I said hello to my manager (Cheryl) and
practicum supervisor (Marcella) who were both working. Upon walking into the office I noticed
that there was a new staff member being trained and she seemed quiet and reserved. This was the
first time I was able to understand that I had already established a comfortable, healthy level of
rapport with my supervisor and SYD staff. I realized I was very comfortable in my work
environment and questioned myself regarding whether I was maybe too comfortable. By half
way through the morning my manager (Cheryl) told me to please keep a second copy of my
training package for her since she wants to hire me when I am finished my practicum. This
excited me very much since I had only been working there for two weeks and absolutely loved
the work environment.
310 JOURNAL REFLECTIONS 3
Later on that evening, the staff were collaborating on how to handle a high-risk youth
who was acting out and questioning leaving the program. This brought up the subject that she
likely needs to be admitted to an involuntary support program for youth. I questioned why she
hadnt been admitted to one such as Ledger. One staff member mentioned that they work part-
time at Ledger and went on to explain the program and how admission works. This brought up
emotions for me and I really wanted to express myself to show I had some understanding. At this
point I made the self-disclosure that I had attended Ledger House in the past. The staff took this
disclosure lightly and I was relieved. However, afterwards I felt a bit off and decided it may have
been too soon for this kind of self-disclosure. However, on the other hand, I felt this disclosure
was so contextual and I had felt it may have showed I was competent and had an understanding
of the program.
Furthermore, on the same day my practicum supervisor told me that I am a very
competent student and she is grateful to have me around because it makes her job easier. My
other co-workers commended me on being helpful and say I match the flow of detox very
naturally and it seems like a good fit for me. This helps me to feel competent!
On May 6
th
a youth confronted me saying that she triggered by the large bandage on one
of the new intake youths arm. This youth explained that the bandage triggered her and caused
her to want to self-harm as well. I explored this topic with the youth and reflected her feelings
back to her while validating them. The youth left the room and I was concerned as to whether or
not I had helped her. A couple seconds later the youth re-entered the room and informed me that
I had been very helpful, she was feeling much better and thanked me.
On May 7
th
one of the youth expressed a need to talk since she was feeling depressed.
The house was very busy but I ensured to get to her as quickly as I was able. I took the time to
310 JOURNAL REFLECTIONS 4
make the youth some tea, take her on the front porch and began practicing some deep breathing.
This particular youth opened up to me saying that she was depressed and feared she would use
again but did not want to. I used Solution-Focused Brief Therapy in order to get the youth to
question how she may feel if she used again. The youth informed me she would feel terrible
about herself if she used again and we brainstormed ways to prevent use and incorporate harm
reduction into her life. During this process we discovered that this youth was well-known for her
drug use in Campbell River and would like to be moved away from there. We set up a referral
for a supportive recovery bed for this youth that is away from Campbell River. I felt a strong
helping connection with this youth and she disclosed to me that I was her favorite staff. I told her
thank you and said I was not allowed to have favorite youth in the program and she appeared
very understanding. After this I walked into the office and my manager Cheryl told me that I was
doing very well today.
May 9
th
I received an e-mail from a staff member at SYD who I had never worked with
but had recommended me for the practicum experience in the first place. In this e-mail it said:
Hey, Emily! I stopped in to SYD today to get my paycheck and saw that you started
your practicum. I commented on this to Cheryl and she sighed and said (and I quote) "Emily is
incredible, just incredible". She went on to say that you have incredible insight and are much
farther along in your knowledge and abilities than most CYC students she has had. She said you
have your head on your shoulders and she thinks you're great. Just thought you'd like to hear the
positive feedback ;)
On May 15
th
one of the youth had a visit from an alcohol and drug counsellor with
VIHA. This particular counsellor was one that I had counselling with for about three years after
attending Ledger House. Of course I have aged out of this service several years ago. I was
310 JOURNAL REFLECTIONS 5
surprised to see this specific counsellor at my work although I knew it likely had to happen
eventually. When we saw each other she said hello and asked me if I am working at the detox. I
informed her that I am a practicum student but have been offered a position upon the completion
of my hours. This counsellor appeared pleasantly surprised to see me and told me how great it
was that I am doing this kind of work and that she is proud of me. When she checks back to the
office at the end of the session with a youth, I can see her eyes following me with curiosity as I
go about my work. This causes some adrenaline and anxiety to go off but I am happy that she is
able to see the fruits of her labor with me as I know she is an excellent counsellor. Funnily
enough, the same day I also saw another counsellor that I have worked with in several different
programs throughout my youth. He explained how great it was to see me and also looked proud
of me. He appeared impressed by how soon I am working here compared to how recent it was
that I was accessing the services I am now referring kids to.
May 27
th
The kids ask me my age and I am curious to see how they will react when I tell
them. I have been self-conscious that I am so close to their age for a long time. This has
particularly been an issue if I feel off balance because I wonder how I am supposed to support
youth so close to my age when I am struggling a bit myself. I asked the kids to guess my age and
they guessed between 22 and 24 which I thought was too bad since Id hoped they thought I was
older. Once I told them that I was 21 all eyes were glued to me and they began to ask me a
million questions about whether Id used drugs, was it strange for me to work with them when I
was close to their age and such. Instantly I felt the dynamic changed and knew Id made a
mistake when the youth collaboratively called me, chill and hot. I shut down their questions
and explained how I understood my education and experience had given me the proper
310 JOURNAL REFLECTIONS 6
background to be able to help and support them. I decided to act very professional and to stop
wearing make-up and earrings until these youth had left the program.
June 04
th
: A youth shows up for intake high on meth. Staff managed to keep him separate
from other youth in order to avoid triggering them. This youth was grinding his jaw, glorifying
drug use, had not slept or eaten in about six days, was pacing back and forth and hallucinating
etcetera. We snuck him into the biggest room we had and kept him there for twenty-four hours
while he hula-hooped very quickly, listened to blaring television and ate popcorn. At one point I
went to check on him in his room and closed the door to avoid the other youth seeing him. I later
reflected on this and recognized that although I felt safe and comfortable with this, it may be
crossing a boundary and come off as unprofessional so I decide to keep the door open at least a
crack next time. This youth expressed that he would like a staff member to talk to him because
he was feeling depressed. I explained to him that the joyful feelings involved with drugs create a
feeling of happiness and wholeness from the inside that feels invincible. I said that the opposite
is true when coming off drugs; one will be uncomfortable on the inside and part of the detox
process is learning to sit with this and that talking to someone isnt going to make the feeling go
away. When I relayed this information to my manager and co-workers my manager smiled and
nodded in approval. Later on this youth became hungry and one co-worker recommended a bagel
with peanut butter and I suggested yogurt. My manager turned to me and said, Thats exactly
what I was thinking, great minds think alike Emily. This made me feel very positive!
On June 09
th
I came into work feeling a bit emotionally off-kilter. I knew that in order to
complete my practicum hours before starting my job downtown I would be completing as many
hours as I could this week (somewhere between 60 and 90) and I was very apprehensive about
this. Around four pm I joined in a counselling session one staff member was having with a
310 JOURNAL REFLECTIONS 7
youth, quite soon after I joined the staff member left. The youth was acting low and expressed
feeling very depressed and suicidal. I think it is because of my own low mood that I was able to
really set aside my own issues and empathize with the youth. We had a great counselling session
and the client opened up to me and explained that there was a particular traumatic memory that
he hadnt told anyone that haunted him every day. Since we were connecting so well he said he
was ready to disclose to me. I ensured to remind him of the levels of confidentiality and let him
know that we may have to report. The youth agreed and went on to tell me that about two years
ago a man had tried to steal his shoes and belongings downtown once. The youth had refused and
proceeded to run away, but the man had chased him with a knife. The youth tripped and fell
down and the knife had fallen onto the ground so the youth repositioned it on his chest with the
blade facing in the air. The perpetrator had then fallen onto the knife and rolled over paralyzed.
The youth stood up and ran away but was not sure if the man had died and was haunted by the
fear in the perpetrators eyes. I continued to counsel the youth until I knew he was feeling better
evidenced by broadened body posture and a small smile. Then, I went immediately to consult my
co-workers. Together, we decided to call the intake coordinator who was on pager who
recommended that we call the non-emergency phone line to report the incident in case it ever
came up in the youths future. The youth had experienced a traumatic event regarding police
officers and was unwilling to make the report. A staff member and myself spoke to an officer
and discovered that there were no consequences to not reporting this incident. We all decided it
was in the youths best interest not to file an official report based on the youths level of
vulnerability and trauma related to police officers.