decided to end class we'd want to know why the person was jumping, but we are simply

concerned with how long it takes."

Physics 200 - Professor Shankar
"There's not that much material that I can teach you, actually. I can write all the physics equations
in one corner of theThere's not that much material that I can teach you, actually. I can write all the
physics equations in one corner of the blackboard, and then all you need is an IQ of !!! and
you're set""
"#elati$ity and quantum didn't use to be taught in this class, which is a shame, because they are
two of the se%iest topics in all of physics"
blackboard, and then all you need is an IQ of !!! and you're set""
"#elati$ity and quantum didn't use to be taught in this class, which is a shame, because they are
two of the se%iest topics in all of physics"
"&ou can add $ectors, multiply a $ector by a number, flip $ectors ' the fun is just endless"
"In this first problem, there is a car dri$ing along a cliff, and the car just jumps off. This person has
decided to end it all. (ow, we want to know at what time the car hits the ground. This is the
beauty of physics, because if this were a psychology class we'd want to know why the person
was jumping, but we are simply concerned with how long it takes."
")ay you're firing a rocket launcher. *hat angle should you fire it at for ma%imum range+ )ay you
fire it straight up. The good news is that it's going to be up in the air for a $ery long time. The bad
news is that it's going to land on your head"
"&ou'll catch me making mistakes sometimes' I don't mind when my students do that. ,ut not this
time"
"-eople think that when you're weightless, you'$e escaped the pull of gra$ity. ,ut when the
ele$ator that you're in slams into the floor, then you'll know that you were wrong."
")o today we will do the problem that makes most people ne$er want to do physics again"
"This problem in your book says that a physicist is hiking up the .lps. &ou know that's a joke,
right+"
"/et's say the physicist gets stuck while climbing, and you want to send him something. It may be
food, or since it's a physicist, he might say ')end me my *olfson and -asachoff 0our te%tbook1" I
ha$en't read it in two days"'"
"This is a $ery important day. &ou can forget your birthday, forget anni$ersaries, but you need to
remember this day, because this is the day that you will learn (ewton's /aws"
"That's the beauty of teaching' for 2 hour of the day you don't feel like a complete idiot because
you reali3e that there are many people worse off than you"
")ee, one reason why the .mericans fought the ,ritish is because they couldn't stand their units.
&ou know they ha$e something called a slug+ I mean, what is a slug+ I don't know, and I'm proud
of it""
")ay you're in an ele$ator. I could do two things to you and you wouldn't know the difference. I
could pull the ele$ator up with a rope and you'd begin to feel hea$y. 4r, I could replace the planet
beneath you with a bigger planet and you'd feel hea$y. (ow most likely I'll do the first one. ,ut
you can't tell the difference""
"-eople think that when you're weightless, you'$e escaped the pull of gra$ity. ,ut when the
ele$ator that you're in slams into the floor, then you'll know that you were wrong."
")o today we will do the problem that makes most people ne$er want to do physics again"
")o the normal force is pointing down, gra$ity is pointing down, and here is where panic sets in"
"5as e$eryone in here seen an integral+ 6ood. ,ecause I didn't ha$e a backup plan"
"I was teaching a class o$er the summer, and a student began to get $ery agitated when I did
partial deri$ati$es. 5e was saying that those weren't a prerequisite for the class, so I shouldn't be
teaching them. )o I said to him 'you know, the thing about coming to class is' you actually might
learn something"'"
"*hen you draw a bo% around something, you know it's time to get serious"
"*hat I see is, the mathematicians tell us what the rules are, and then it's our job to break them"
"&ou could write a law and think it's correct, and then you'd publish a bunch of papers, and
e$entually you'd reali3e that your parents are the only ones reading them and then you'd know
that you were wrong. (ow, on the other hand, if your friends are reading your papers, your
enemies are reading your papers, and then your enemies are stealing what you'$e written in your
papers, then you'll know that your law is correct"
"I'$e gotta be nice to my students, because one day one of you could be my physician. I could be
lying flat on my back, and you could be coming up to me with a mask on and a knife in your hand.
I'd say '*hat about my anesthesia+' and you'd say '*hat about that formula sheet you promised
me+', so that's why I try to treat you guys nicely"
")o (ewton said 'I will go in$ent integral calculus.' .fter all, he just in$ented differential calculus
the other day, so why shouldn't he+"
"*hen you're doing problems on the blackboard your intelligence is proportional to your distance
from the board, so now I'm at an all time low"
".t the end, I want to make sure that you all understand this. (o child will be left behind"
"The thing is, nature doesn't care whether you like something or not ' you just ha$e to suck it up"
"The question you ha$e to ask yourself is, if your professor drops dead in the middle of his
lecture, will you be able to finish deri$ing the equation he started+ If so, then you know you're
doing okay"
"7$ent number 28 I in$ent the gun."
9makes gun with fingers and points it at head9
"7$ent number :8 I blow my brains out. I was going to point the gun at one of you guys but I didn't
want any problems"
9writes something on board9
"(4" ;on't write that down" ,ad""""
"<any people think that, since they're going to be doctors or something, they're ne$er going to
need to know about relati$ity. *ell what if one of your patients starts running away from you at the
speed of light+ Then you really need to know this"
"Today we are going to talk about rigid bodies. /ike .l 6ore."
"If we throw a cat up in the air it will be mo$ing its arms and legs all around, and that's not rigid.
*e want a rigid body, like a dead cat"
"If you look at all the doors at &ale you will notice that the doorknobs are on the opposite side as
the hinges, so you get the most action with the least amount of force. (ow if you go to <oronland,
the doorknobs are all close to the hinges and you can ne$er get anything accomplished"
0after drawing his =ballerina> on the chalkboard, which I ha$e attempted to recreate here1
=I guess it?s better to try and fail than not to try at all>
=This is the address that I got this email from8 aaa.bbb. )o dear aaa, if I can call you by your first
name>
9pauses9
=&es, I?$e reached the point in my life when I don?t care what people think about me>

=If I could tag the air molecules @ this is Aoe, Aoe, what are you doing+ 6enerally, Aoe is just going
back and forth>

=The 7arth?s whole mass @ you, me, Bhina @ e$erything is pulling it down>

=;id you guys watch the (4C. program last night+ (o, you were watching Aoe <illionaire. *ell, I
watched the (4C. program>

=/et?s say a bunch of guys are chasing you and they fire a bunch of bullets at you, and then
another group of guys runs towards you from the front and they fire a bunch of bullets at you.
(ow, by in large, your life?s about to get worse. (ow if they were firing sound wa$es at you, this
wouldn?t be the case.>

=(e$er trust a log plot. .nd especially ne$er trust a log log plot>

=If you miss class you should talk to someone, because I don?t go straight from the book. If you
read the whole book you run the risk of learning something you don?t need to know. .nd who
wants to do that+>

0talking about how railroad track engineers added gaps in the tracks to account for thermal
e%pansion1
=If you go look at railroad tracks now, they don?t ha$e these gaps anymore. I don?t know what the
hell is going on with that. I guess I could go on the internet and find out, but it doesn?t make sense
to me. <etal doesn?t bend anymore+>

=&ou can talk to <artians, talk to The -lanet of the .pes, tell the apes to gather some gas in a jar,
and say D5ey apes" *hen -CE! then TE':FG"?>

=,ut if you?re from 5ar$ard, you think the center of the uni$erse is here, in Bambridge>

=Bome on now, make big diagrams" If you want to sa$e trees, do it on your own time @ not in my
course">

=I?$e found specific heats for objects in my house when I forget where I left them and then smell
them burning. I?$e e$en found the melting points of some of these objects">

=The whole point of the *ar of Independence was so that we don?t ha$e to use ,THs anymore.
)o why are we still doing it++>

=*hat are two colors you combine to make another+ 6reen and red make yellow+>

=&ou could be heating any object. If you are heating an elephant, m is the mass of the elephant, t
is the temperature of the elephant, and c is the specific heat of the elephant.>

=If you put your hand on a hot plate, you should say D*ow, these molecules are fast"?. That?s what
I want you to say from now on, not D4uch"">>

0)hankar =quoting> Barnot1
=(o engine can beat my engine>

=5a$ing defined entropy, I?m now going to show you the mega second law>

=&ou may be questioned by the <afia someday. .nd it?s standard practice for them to lower you
down in this tank of water. )o when you?re pushing out on the walls, trying to sa$e yourself, think
to yourself @ how many (ewtons am I applying to this wall+ @ because you?re causing pressure">

=There are some congressmen who ha$e physics degrees, so you can?t bullshit them. &ou can
come up to them and say D5ey Bongressmen"? and throw torques at them, and fluids and
relati$ity, and they?re not gonna care. They?re just gonna laugh in your face>

)hankar8 =.ny suggestions on how to make up for the missed class+>
)tudent8 =-ut the lecture online+>
)hankar8 =5ow can I con$ey the full force of my personality online+>

=If you don?t try to beat the I pi now, you?ll ha$e to beat it later. &ou ha$e to make a choice.>

=(ow if you rub this rod on your cat, or dog, or cow, or buffaloJ>

9messes up demonstration9
=&ou know, some of us go into theoretical physics for a $ery good reason>

=&ou can also draw a mega sphere that will surround both of them>

=.ll we need to sol$e this problem is 6auss?s /aw and se$eral large hand'wa$ing arguments>

0definitely college physicsJdoes this sound wrong to anyone else+1
=If you?re a $ector and you really wanna produce a number, you?$e gotta ha$e a dot product with
somebody>

0just before lea$ing on a 2! day trip1
=)ee you suckers" I?m going where the sun is shining and it?s F degrees all day""" ,ye">

=I?m gonna go home and pick a day for the midterm, and you?$e gotta let me know if this is a
problem. )o if you?re getting married that day, bring in your spouse'to'be, and if you?re gonna
ha$e a heart transplant, I wanna see the new heart>

=It may relie$e you to know that there?s only a finite charge, but there?s still high $oltage. That?s
why there are all those labels saying D;on?t swallow this computer?>

=(o, not strings, strings are chapter KL!! of this course>

=There was an e$ent in which someone claimed that they saw a monopole, but that happened
somewhere in Balifornia, so we don?t know what to think about that>

=(ow that is the magic thing that tells us e$erything>

=If you are a complete moron, you will take your wire all the way, but as the limit of moron is
infinite, you will ha$e wasted all your wire on a loop of 3ero area>

=I just lo$e this problem, because it has no numbers" I mean, here?s mu, here?s ,, and
e$erybody?s happy">

9draws loop in two planes9
=4kay, here is your Calentine?s ;ay loop>

=The attraction due to the wires is just one big orgy of cross products>

=If you want electricity in your house, just build your house on a big loop and get somebody to
drag your house along>

=*hy is /en3?s /aw looking so difficult+ ,ecause of the way I taught it">

=?I? could be anything. It could be current, it could be the 6(- of some country, whate$er @ we
don?t care>

=That?s why I?m telling you all to go do physics for the rest of your li$es. It?s fun, and if you?re lucky,
you might actually get paid">

=If you?re a lawyer who can do percolation equations, you?ll be the lawyer who can?t be beat @ you
can ha$e your own t$ show>

=-lus, since you?re coming out of &ale, barring a few particular e%ceptions, you can speak good
7nglish and do a good ser$ice leading this country>

=There is one congressman who knows physics, and he?s just bullying e$erybody around,
because when he writes an equation down, none of the rest of them know what to do">

=(ow I?m going to do the mother of all circuits>

=*hen you open this switch you gotta close the second one immediately so that it can $ent all its
frustration into this guy>

=There are some things you can always look up, like your social security number or your birthday,
but the trig identities you gotta know>

=*ho knows comple% numbers+ &ou don?t know comple% numbers+ *ell how do you do your
ta%es+>

=&ou just gotta suck it up, okay @ comple% numbers are here to stay, they rule the worldJonce
you get to know them your relationship will go from hate to lo$e $ery fast>

=In 7M< it?s harder because you can?t see or feel magnetic fields, unless you?re a duck. I?m told
that when they?re flying north they follow the earth?s magnetic field to the pole. I was quite
impressed with the ducks @ they don?t e$en ha$e to sol$e <a%well?s equations to follow the field,
and yet I get lost in <anhattan">

=I know most days after ! minutes you guys go into little con$ulsions and send me not so subtle
hints that time is up @ but not this day>

=.nd that was the big, all'time, physics aha" <oment>

=.nd this equals this, and that is also wrong>

=&es, you will find that you ha$e three or four hands, and many organs on top of your headJbut I
think going to a )ting concert is more dangerous to your health>

=If you?re running ne%t to a truck at the same speed, you are not a truck!!!

=If you?re talking at a really high frequency, the guy around the corner won?t hear you, but you had
better be talking to your dog, because someone right in front of you won?t hear you either>

=If you ha$e a question, call me, because I don?t answer email. I come from a generation where it
is impossible for me to sit down and figure out where all these letters are. *hy did they ha$e to
scramble them all up++ I?$e seen my kids in this catatonic state in front of the computer, doing
instant messaging, but I just can?t do it. )o if you emailed me a long question about the meaning
of life and I didn?t respond, don?t worry. I know the meaning of life, okay @ just call me.>

=)ay you are at the bottom of this pool of water. I don?t know how you got there @ maybe you
missed a loan payment or something>

9draws a small diagram9
=This is how I get my re$enge on you guys. I don?t know where you learned that homework should
only take two sheets of paper, but I?$e seen you guys pack in superstrings and e$erything in just a
little space>

=&ou ha$e I times G di$ided by : combinations of rays you can draw, so that is what+Jum, some
number of choices>

=*hen I was a student I used to just draw two rays and be done with it, but now that I am nearing
retirement I am so e%cited to draw all these different rays and see that they all hit the same spot.
&ou guys don?t know how much pleasure this gi$es me>

=It?s okay if you don?t get it, because if you all do get it then I?m out of a job. I rely on you guys not
getting it.>

=It?s a good thing that I made this mistake, because it shows you that e$en if you can?t sol$e this
equation you can still get a job at &ale. .nd, if you are beating yourself up o$er the midterm, my
embarrassment should pro$ide some comfort to you>

=*e?re going to go o$er this again, as part of our (o Bhild /eft ,ehind program. )ome children
were left behind *ednesday, I know, because I saw lots of pu33led faces>

9draws a diagram that takes up a quarter of the board9
=*ho was it who was asking me to draw big pictures+>
9*ynn raises hand9
=4kay, this one?s for you">

=*hen you ha$e an i on the bottom you replace it with a negati$e i on the top. This has been
known since ,iblical times' an i for an i>

=The act of obser$ing an electron is $ery traumatic for that electron. #ight now I?m getting hit by
millions of photons. I?m taking it like a man. ,ut for the electron, this is not the same>

=I forgot what my life was like before quantum mechanics. I know I was playing in a sandbo% and
someone was trying to beat me up, but I don?t remember when that was.>

9does an e%ample, 6ershkoff corrects his $ocabulary9
=This also illustrates the unimportance of terminology>

=This is $ery different from a graduate quantum course which I could teach in my sleep and which
you could listen to in your sleep. 5ere, e$eryone needs to be awake @ this causes some added
difficulty>

=If you li$e 2 billion years, then you will be able to see the back of your head>

=&ou might turn down your light source, but there will still be photons carrying energy that are
hitting the particle. &ou can take a gun and weaken it so that it only shoots a few bullets a day, but
if you get hit by one, you?re still dead>

=&ou guys didn?t get that email last night+ I sent that at 22 @ a good I hours past my bedtime">

=These tools are in$ented by mathematicians for their own nefarious purposes, but they are
actually $ery useful for us>

=<athematicians are always ahead of physicists, and physicists are always a little bit ahead of
engineers, although that difference is not always clear anymore. It?s because it takes so much
time for our president to catch up with e$erything. 5e says D5ow many barrels of oil will we sa$e
by you studying quantum mechanics+? and then we say D*ell, 3ero barrels? and he gets confused.
)o either you find this quantum stuff $ery useful or just use it to scare the hell out of e$eryone
else>
=&ou can only ha$e a state of definite momentum if you ha$e e to the i dog % o$er h bar, where
you ha$e momentum equal to dog>
=)ay you are a prisoner in a jail. If you are a quantum prisoner, your wa$elength will be changing.
)o if you are a prisoner this is what I recommend to you @ go back and forth banging into each
wall, because there is a slight probability that if you keep doing this, you will find yourself outside
of the jail. )o e$en if you are sentenced for 2!! lifetimes, it?s still worth a try.>