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In This Edition

The Voice of Albright College since 1904.

Page 3
A different
side of D.C.
Page 7
Mr. and Mrs.
Page 4
Block Party
Page 4
May 3, 2012 Volume 125, Issue 18
Professor de-
serves highest
Student loan
The Albrightian
Continued on Page 2
Recently, Albright
announced the discon-
tinuation of its English as
a Second Language (ESL)
program. Not only is the
college depriving future
Albright classes of valuable
experiences in diversity
and integration, but it is
also robbing them of a
gifted and irreplaceable
professor: Marian Wolbers.
Upon my arrival to
Albright this fall, I was
bemused to fnd myself
placed in the FYS course
Japanese Culture, for I
did not recall selecting
it as a top-choice. As the
year progressed though, I
was extremely glad that
this class was a part of my
schedule, and it wasnt just
because of the sushi.
Thats not to say I
wasnt interested in the
coursework. I was. In fact,
many times I would leave
the class with intense
pangs of wanderlust,
yearning to travel to the
far East, and due to the
stories Professor Wolbers
told of her many travels, I
fully believed that I could.
Without realizing it, she
instilled within me a fasci-
nation for an entire culture
for which I had absolutely
no previous appreciation.
Arguably, anything
could spark new interests
within a personinanimate
books, even run-of-the-mill
newspaper articles. What
sets Professor Wolbers
apart from the ordinary is
that Im fairly confdent
she could have convinced
me to love monsoon season
if she so wished. More than
anything, it was her passion
and her ardent descrip-
tions of the culture that
made me care at all about
Japan, and for that matter,
anything else we discussed
in class.
In listening to her
myriad of fascinating tales,
I came to revere Profes-
sor Wolbers as a sophisti-
In the middle of
a heated presidential
campaign, one of the
biggest issues that has
come to the forefront
involves student loans.
Where both candidates
sit on the issue may be
a determining factor
for the success of their
The main problem
at hand involves the
burden that these loans
could have on the tax
payer. Many feel that
in this seemingly lose-
lose issue, student loans
could end up either
costing tax payers more,
or obviously, by rais-
ing the interest, cost
students more. Soon,
a resolution could go
through that would
increase students loan
interests rates up to 6.8
percent from the cur-
rent 3.4 percent.
The issue has come
under particular scru-
tiny as President Obama
wants to extend the
lower interest rate for
a year. The higher rate
has started to discour-
age many emerging
graduates and places
overwhelming pressure
on students to quickly
get jobs for repaying
loans. Republican front-
runner, and now the
presumptive republican
presidential nominee,
Mitt Romney, also says
he thinks the interest
rates have risen too high
and agreed that the
rate increase should be
prevented. Both Obama
and Romney have used
personal experience to
further their position.
The problem with
interjecting a critical
issue, such as interest
rates for loans, into a
presidential election
comes from the trend
of candidates who may
sometimes say one thing
in an attempt to appeal
to voters (pandering),
but then have to make
What do you do
with your vehicle
when the mileage hits
148,221,675? Retire it,
of course. Such was the
case with the Discovery
Shuttle that made its
fnal fight over Wash-
ington D.C. on April 17
after the Space Shuttle
Program was offcially
retired in 2011.
Discovery, which
has been given the re-
cord for most miles
traveled by a vehicle,
was the third of fve
fully functioning shut-
tles that were used in
the Space Shuttle Pro-
gram. For some, the
fnal fights of the Dis-
covery Spacecraft over
Washington D.C. and of
Shuttle Enterprise 10
days later over the New
York City Skyline were
very emotional events.
For others, it marked
the end of a program
that not only cost near-
ly $200 billion, but also
ended the lives of 14
astronauts. And yet, for
many college students,
these fnal fights rep-
resented much less.
Just another plane in
the sky, perhaps.
No matter what you
were feeling after you
saw, or heard, about
the fnal fights of En-
terprise and Discovery,
if anything at all, they
were symbolic mo-
ments in the history of
both our country and in
the innovative history
of mankind.
The Shuttle Pro-
gram, which is offcially
named the Space Trans-
portation System, came
into operation in 1981
with the frst success-
ful fight of the Colum-
bia Space Shuttle. The
program was commis-
sioned as a new phase
in NASAs history, and
in the history of human
This change was
supposed to come in
the form of regular,
manned shuttle launch-
es that would repre-
sent that access to
space had become not
only attainable, but
common. This repre-
sented a change from
NASAs Apollo Missions
in which NASA sought
to be the frst nation to
land a manned space-
craft on the Moon. The
Shuttle Program did
reach these goals to
an extent, becoming
the frst and only space
vehicle to ever achieve
earth orbit, and then
land, and also the frst
and only space vehicle
to be reused to achieve
earth orbit.
These achieve-
ments represent the
immense progress that
was made by NASA and
Space shuttles Discovery and Enterprise make historic last flights
Shuttles fy over New York City Image courtesy of NASA
The Albrightian
Continued on Page 7
The Albrightian
Aloha, Albright!
Sure, there were
more clouds in the sky
than sunshine. Yes, okay,
I wore a cardigan instead
of a bikini top. Fortu-
nately, Fridays chill had
absolutely no effect on
the dining halls annual
Beach Party lunchin
fact, everything from
the colorful dcor and
seasonal goodies to the
jaunty entertainment
was red-hot.
From 11 a.m. to 2
p.m., self-titled Crazy
Bob took on the role
of host, DJ, game show
host, and dance-contest
judge, encouraging stu-
dents to actively partici-
pate in various games
and trivia. Truthfully,
most Albrightians didnt
seem to need much in-
stigation beyond the
huge spread of prizes
displayed on the table
behind him. Reminis-
cent of a strange and
untimely Christmas cel-
ebration, the dining fa-
cilities staff arranged
piles of random brightly-
colored objects in a pit
of sand underneath a
festive palm tree.
Bob tossed some of
the smaller gifts [over-
sized NASCAR t-shirts,
ball caps bearing the
insignias of unfamiliar
companies] directly into
the crowd, prompting
lucky students in the
projectiles path to ea-
gerly leap out of their
seats and cheer as they
caught their treasures.
A veteran of the job,
Bob was well aware of
the power he held as
the master of the prize
table. In order for stu-
dents to win the more
sought-after items, Bob
literally made them
dance for him. Few
people hesitated; on
the contrary, the front
of the cafeteria trans-
formed into a dance
foor as students shook,
spun, dougied, and
whipped their hair back
The Albrightian
Continued on Page 8
Continued on Page 7
The Voice of Albright College since 1904. 2
May 3, 2012
Albright College Box: 1132
13th & Bern Streets
P.O. Box 15234
Reading, PA 19612
phone: 610.921.7558
The Albrightian is pub-
lished at least six times a
semester by the students of
Albright College except dur-
ing vacation, holidays and
examination periods. The
publication is printed by the
Susquehanna Printing Press
in Ephrata, Pa. All submis-
sions become property of
The Albrightian, and the
editors hold the copyright.
All opinions expressed in
The Albrightian are those of
the authors of the columns
and letters and are not nec-
essarily the opinions of Al-
bright College, its faculty,
staff, administration or its
Board of Trustees.
The Albrightian reserves
the right to edit letters for
length and to reject let-
ters if they are libelous or
do not conform to standards
of good taste. Send letters
to Campus Center Box 1132.
All letters received become
property of The Albrightian.
Elizabeth Gordon 12
Sarah Timmons 13
Sarah Timmons 13
Helen Anderson 13
Mandie Mulcahy 12
Jordan Bonte 13
Deanna Edwards 12
Adam Stamm 12
Helen Anderson 13
Tyler Parmer 12
Dr. Jon Bekken
Editor in Chief:
Asst. Editor in Chief:
News Editor:
Student Life Editor:
Sports Editor:
Asst. Layout/Web Editor:
Entertainment Editor:
Business Manager:
Distribution Manager:
Faculty Advisor:
Helen Anderson
Anna Berzins
Jordan Bonte
Chris Bucks
Tracy Christiani
Amylynn Doffont
Deanna Edwards
Elizabeth Gordon
Blanche Helbling
Megan Homsher
Mandie Mulcahy
Tyler Parmer
Keeley Peltz
Elizabeth Reber
Andrew Schlegel
Brinton Sheets
Sean Snyder
Adam Stamm
Sarah Timmons
Rachel Zaccarelli
Jennifer Bates
Science division beyond memorization
Continued from Page 1
Continued on Page 4
gradual modifcations of that promise
when elected. For example, Congress
originally voted down a student loans
bill a few years ago. But, part of their
policy involved the same student loan
interest rates returning to the previous
rate after four years, around the 2012
presidential election. So inevitably,
some political strategies will play a
role in the ultimate decision regarding
these interest rates. The candidates
and legislators, therefore, beneft by
trying to appease the public through
reducing interest rates, but also suffer
from the drawbacks of making time
limits for the lower interest rates and
thus forcing a reexamination of the
issue after a few years.
After looking at this issue more
broadly, it became clear that the
effects of the recession could linger
for many years. While offcials claim
that turnaround has already begun,
economic consequences of the 2008
fnancial crisis will take a while to
mend. This crisis also sheds light on a
possible foreshadowing of a fnal deci-
sion concerning the interest rate issue.
In order to assist the public, many of
whom already faced increased taxes
from funding other economic recov-
ery plans, Congress may maintain the
rate raise in order to give the public
a break in this area. One temporary
solution involves a policy similar to the
one made four years ago, where they
could maintain a temporarily low in-
terest rate. The problem here, though,
obviously occurs when the plan
expires. This highlights the need for
a long term solution, which has made
the issue so hotly contested now.
But people have a say in the
decisions that they want to be made.
When November rolls around, they
can go out to the polls and vote for
the candidate whose student loan
policy they support the most. Unfor-
tunately, young people, the newest
to reach voting age, have the lowest
turnout rate: lowest percentage out
of all of the age groups to go out and
vote. In order to prevent this cliche
about voting from becoming a reality,
especially concerning something as
personal as student loans, people need
to take the time to choose represen-
tatives who share similar interests to
theirs, and progress will hopefully be
made in regards to student loan inter-
est rates.
Either way, the issue does not
need a temporary band aid but rather
a more permanent decision. With so
many different positions and people
considering each angle of the issue, it
may take a while to resolve.
The Albrightian
Can I really use what I learn
in school in everyday life? Does
studying a bunch of facts really
help me get a job? What can I
actually do with the knowledge
Ive attained? These are ques-
tions many students frequently
ask themselves, their peers and
their teachers throughout their
scholastic careers.
The Science division at Al-
bright College has focused its
efforts on creating a curriculum
that conveys important infor-
mation that can be applied to
everyday life. Professor Audrey
Smeltzers approach to teaching
chemistry represents this ideol-
My approach to teaching
chemistry goes beyond memo-
rization in the sense that I give
information that is useful to you.
Things that you, as a non-major,
would care about, says Smeltzer.
Smeltzers chemistry class fo-
cuses on the aspects of chemistry
that are applicable to everyday
situations, from the food we eat
to the products we use.
A better understanding
of chemistry allows people to
achieve a better understanding
of the world around them, says
Smeltzer. This approach, which
focuses on applying knowledge,
makes students think critically.
If you can understand why your
calculations are wrong in class,
you learn to check your work. If
you develop a habit of checking
your work, you can learn how to
balance a check book correctly.
Critical thinking is a skill
many students learn throughout
their scholastic career.
I try to show the relevance
between non-scientific topics so
that the information will be use-
ful in everyday life. Understand-
ing energy helps you understand
how cell phones work and under-
standing the different levels of
UV radiation helps you make a
wiser decision when purchasing
sunscreen, says Smeltzer.
The theory is, according to
Smeltzer, that if one can under-
The Voice of Albright College since 1904.
May 3, 2012
From the scoreboard
The Albrightian
10-20 L
1-2 L
331, 5TH OF 11
3RD OF 18
OF 8
10-11 L
4-5 L
On Saturday, the Albright lion-
esses made history. In a win against
Messiah, they secured their spot in
the District III championship play-
offs, a feat which, for the tennis
team, has never been accomplished
that the
team will
be head-
ed to the
ships for
a tour-
that will
last from
May 2-5,
with a
first round
match against Lebanon Valley.
Saturdays match was an
important one for the team as they
were battling with Messiahs wom-
ens team for the exact same prize:
a spot in the championship play-
Albrights team, prior to
Saturdays match, stood as the
Girls tennis team makes history
The Albrightian
It was a muddy second day
at the annual oozeball tourna-
ment. Accord-
ing to Megan
K. Bermudez,
the director
of Alumni Re-
lations, this
games idea
was originat-
ed within the
Lion Diplo-
My un-
is that the
Lion Diplo-
mats, in the
80s, went to
a conference
and learned
about the
event. It was
happening on
other college
campuses, and
they were re-
ferring to it as
oozeball, so
they borrowed
the concept to
start up here at
Albright, Ber-
mudez said.
Signs were
posted in the
Campus Cen-
ter and emails
were sent to
the student
body about the event. From April
16 to the 25, teams had to hand
in the registration form along
with the entry fee of $30 to
Pushman Cottage.
The tournament is always
held near the end of the semes-
ter; this year, 24 teams played
on Saturday, and 16 teams
played on Sunday.
The normal rules of volley-
ball apply, and you have to have
at least six people in the mud at
all times, [but] no more than 8,
said Bermudez.
The teams included students
from many different organiza-
tions including rugby, swimming,
Alpha Sigma Phi and Alpha Delta
Pi. The event itself is held in a
watery mud pit in the field out-
side the Albright Woods apart-
ments. A volleyball court was set
up in the middle of the pit and
both teams play one round of
volleyball, making the tourna-
ment single elimination. Some-
times, depending on the roster,
one team may play twice, like
team Defirm did this year. The
event finished with the team,
Bang Bang winning the tourna-
Oozeball is one of the most
anticipated events on campus.
I think that its one of the
events on campus that students
get really excited about every
spring, said Bermudez. Its
one of our many Albright tradi-
tions, and not a lot of schools do
it anymore, so its very unique,
I think. Bermudez said. The
The Albrightian
teams included students from
many different organizations
including rugby, swimming, Alpha
Sigma Phi and Alpha Delta Pi. The
event itself is held in a watery
mud pit in the field outside the
Albright Woods apartments. A
Oozeball: messy, muddy volleyball
volleyball court was set up in the
middle of the pit and both teams
play one round of volleyball,
making the tournament single
ing on the
roster, one
team may
play twice,
like team
Defirm did
this year.
The event
with the
Bang win-
ning the
Oozeball is
one of the most
events on cam-
I think that
its one of the
events on cam-
pus that stu-
dents get really
excited about
every spring,
said Bermudez.
Its one of our
many Albright
traditions, and
not a lot of
schools do it
anymore, so its very
unique, I think. Bermudez said.
third seed in the Commonwealth
Conference, trailing Elizabethtown
and Lebanon Valley, respectively.
Their record, since Saturday, has
been brought to 10 wins and 9 loss-
es overall, with 3 wins and 3 losses
within the league.
Strong wins early-on in the
from the first and second doubles
teams, as well as singles games
by Victoria Foanio and Alyssa Sell
secured four games out of nine for
the Lions. A further win from Ka-
tie Oeste drove the Lions to a win,
with an overall score of 5-4.
Teams battle in out in the mud for the win. Photos courtesy ofJordan Bonte
Alyssa Sell on her way to a victory against Messiah
Photo courtesy of Albright Athletics
The Voice of Albright College since 1904. 4
May 3, 2012
Student Life
Mr. and Mrs. Albright
Continued on Page 8
stand the function or purpose of
one object or event, he or she
can relate this understanding to
So, can I use what Ive learned
in school in everyday life? Yes,
and I can use the information I
have learned to make more in-
formed decisions. But will it help
me get a job?
The application of knowledge
comes to life in the laboratories
of Science Hall. Oct. 14, 2011,
marked the grand opening of the
newly renovated Science Hall,
including its 12.5% increase in
square feet, as well as the new
technologies and equipment made
possible by the 34.5 million dol-
lars allotted to the project.
Science department chair Dr.
Karen Campbell has said in Al-
brights Focus, Its important
that we have modern instrumen-
tation and are able to instruct
students in current techniques.
The familiarization achieved
during lab provides students with
an understanding of the tools and
methods that will be encountered
in the workforce. This experi-
ence gives Albright students an
advantage. When it comes time
to apply for jobs, students can
say that they have been trained
using modern equipment and are
already familiar with current
The increase in space has al-
lowed for larger and more accom-
modating laboratories.
Todays students do more
group work at tables where they
can collaborate with each other,
said Campbell.
Group work establishes coop-
erative skills as well as teaches
students to be receptive to other
points of view. Collaboration also
provides insight into the mind
processes of fellow students and
enables them to think more criti-
The science division does not
focus on solely the iteration and
reiteration of facts but also on
the application of that knowledge
and its relevance to other areas.
So, to answer the final, and
perhaps most important, ques-
tion, yes, the things I learn here
will help me get a job.
The ideology of a liberal arts
degree is represented in the
teaching methods of the sci-
ences. Professors, such as Smelt-
zer, strive to create a curriculum
which not only enables students
to understand how to apply
knowledge in everyday life, but
also increases their likelihood
of procuring a job. The methods
focus on explaining and showing
the purpose for understanding
facts and teach students how,
when and why these facts could
be applicable.
The applicable knowledge ap-
proach prevents students from
asking teachers the tiresome
question of, When am I ever go-
ing to use this in my life?
Mr. and Mrs. Albright: A royal success
The Albrightian
This is Mr. and Mrs. Albright,
the winner takes it all. One wom-
an and one man will prevail,
Clark Cameron sings. On Wed.
April 25, the class
of 2013 hosted the
Mr. and Mrs. Albright
Pageant. The show
started off with
Jared Mason and
Clark Runciman sing-
ing two of their more
well-known songs,
Welcome to Col-
lege and Old-Fash-
ioned American Boy.
Their performance
included some of
their skits. For their
second to last act,
Jared and Clark sang about Sarah
Skrocki, their volunteer.
Jared and Clark then an-
nounced the contestants who
walked down the aisle to the
stage in their formal wear. In this
pageant, students represented
different organizations.
Theres one contestant for
each organization. There are
seven girls and seven guys, so 14
organizations represented togeth-
er, said Julia Miller, the presi-
dent of the class of 2013.
The following people repre-
sented their respective groups:
Rebecca Potts, Phi Mu; Oshane
Rennie, AC2; Katrina Halasz,
The Domino Players; Justin
Talarowski, Mane Men; Sean
ONeill, Alpha Sigma Phi; Kristina
Perez, Womens Rugby; Katelyn
Johnson, Sigma Kappa; Matthew
Bauer, Albright Swimming; Justin
Choate, Alpha Phi Omega; Ra-
chel Zaccarelli, SGA and Quentin
Hicks, Gamers Guild.
After the contestants came
up, the duo sang the Mr. and Mrs.
Albright theme song: The most
intense competition and it comes
just once a year or maybe once
every semester, I dont know
we didnt do our research. The
most intense competition and
its gonna melt your faces off,
ok thats a bit of an exaggera-
tion. This is a competition that
involves a fight to the death, ok
its a talent competition, but
its a metaphorical fight to the
death, sang Mason.
Its more of a simile, Jared,
added Runciman.
During the talent competition,
students displayed an array of
skills. This section opened with
Halasz singing Jar of Hearts by
Christina Perri, followed by Potts
singing You Wont Find This by
Carrie Underwood. Divided into
three acts, the talent portion was
not limited to singing. Johnson,
with the help of some of her so-
rority sisters, did a puppet show;
however, this wasnt your typical
puppet show.
She and her fellow sorority
sister Nikki Schwenk acted as
the heads of the puppets while
two of her other friends hands
became the feet and a third
friend created the arms. Johnson
and Schwenk danced to differ-
ent songs, including Kung Foo
Fighting by Carl Douglas and N
SYNCs Bye Bye Bye.
Choate read a speech about
talent. In this speech, he spoke
of how everyone has a spe-
cial talent except him. He also
explained that despite trying
various things to see if he had a
talent, he did not find anything
that fit, so he decided to present
a speech instead. From Justins
speech, the audience learned
that he does have a talent: public
Hicks pushed boundaries with
a not-so-traditional dance. He
started off his routine with lip-
syncing the words to Sexy and I
Know It by LMFAO while dancing.
Then when the chorus began, he
took off his shirt to reveal
a leopard-print undershirt.
Later during his dance, he
walked around, did a push-
up (during the words I work
out), threw in a few pelvic
thrusts, curled his fingers
to look like animal claws
(during the word ahh) and
later, when the words, Im
sexy and I know it played,
he took off his pants to re-
veal a leopard print Speedo,
much to the audiences
The last portion of
the competition was the
Albright spirit question-
and-answer section. The
contestants walked up the
aisle in pairs wearing their
best Albright gear. Some of
the students wore Albright
sweatshirts or sportswear,
like an Albright swimming
uniform. Others added
things to their Albright
wear, like a red hat or a
lei. During this portion,
officers of the class of 2013
asked contestants ques-
tions about Albright. The
answers to these questions did not
come from the contestants mind
but from a memorized list that was
distributed beforehand.
Once that section concluded,
the judges, Mike Miller and Heath-
er Lisczc, deliberated to find the
winners. Clark and Jared then
closed the show with one more
Continued from Page 2
Students attend annual block party
Albrights annual block party
took place on Saturday, April
28. Despite the chilly weather, a
moderate crowd of students still
gathered in the quad to partake in
various activities including a picnic
and larger-than-life-infatable
To escape the chill, many stu-
dents took shelter in the Campus
Center, where a mini golf course
was set up, along with video
games, a photo booth, sign making
stations, and a wax hand molding
Left: Hanna Szigeti makes a wax
hand at the Block Party.
The Albrightian
Photos courtesy of Jordan Bonte Jared and Clark take the stage as hosts this time around.
Johnson and schwenk as human puppets
Photos Courtesy of Megan Homsher
The Voice of Albright College since 1904.
6 The Voice of Albright College since 1904.
May 3, 2012
Albright students dreams are Divine
You may say shes a dreamer, but
Albright sophomore Stormy Russells
dreams are coming true through her
passionate hobby: writing.
Russell, a native of Rome, Pa.,
recently published her first book
titled Divine. It marked the cul-
mination of a years worth of work
that ate up much of her free time in
her first year at Albright.
The Albrightian sat down with
her over breakfast earlier this
spring to discuss her first book.
TP: Its not often that someone
in college has a book published.
What was your motivation?
SR: Honestly I just kind of had
the idea bouncing around in there
and it was one of these things- it
wouldnt let me sleep, wouldnt let
me eat. I just had to get it all down.
All the ideas. It was sort of like kind
of the main character, Thea, was in
my head. She was like Stormy, just
write me.
TP: I have to be perfectly hon-
est. I havent gotten the chance
to read it yet. May I take it out on
SR: I have to warn you though,
the only typo that I found in the en-
tire book is on the dedication page
(laughs). Editors are human beings
TP: I can relate to that. Every-
one has one or two errors (laughs).
What is the main plot?
SR: It starts out with a guy
named Demos (a multi-billion dol-
lar corporation owner of Ubiquity,
Inc., an equivalent to Johnson and
Johnson (everyday items)) (crazy
wealth)))... he eventually gets in-
volved in his own mafia.
Hes getting older and hes the
head of both of these things and
he needs someone to take over for
him. He has four children (three
sons and a daughter). His daugh-
ter is the youngest and has these
dreams where she kind of interprets
to mean future stuff. Essentially
he has the daughter who runs the
company and the mafia (she learns
about it).
SR:It was little things up until
now. It was my goal. I need to have
it (the book) done. And then it was
I need to have this published.
Russells inspiration was from
her own weird dreams and waking
up and having deja vu moments.
Hers were obviously more de-
veloped than mine, Russell said.
What if someone had this and
someone could channel this?
Russell has published a couple
poems and essays prior to her nov-
el. Her work has appeared on online
websites, Celebrating Me, an ad-
olescent/coming of age anthology,
and US Travel Journal.
She has considered a prequel
that would follow a different char-
Thea is done, Russell opines.
I feel shes overcome her biggest
doubts and shes sort of resolved
her own problems in her life and
has figured out where her loyalties
Stormy started writing the book
in summer of 2010 (the summer be-
fore she arrived at Albright). Once
she settled in, she realized the
project needed a break. She fin-
ished it this past summer.
During the fall, she sent out re-
quests to have her work published,
but refused numerous overtures
from publishers that wanted her to
pay royalties, down payments or se-
curity deposits.
That seemed like backward
logic, Russell said. I just spent a
year writing this... I dont have the
money at (age) 19 to give to you.
She chose to work with Publish
America in November 2011 since
they did not have complicated fees
or early payments required for the
book to be published.
Theyre totally free and want-
ed to pay me, Russell said.
Sales have been good because
of the ability to promote the book
both at Albright and in her home-
town, according to the optimistic
storyteller. This experience has also
aligned well with her future career.
Russell is an English/second-
ary education major and hopes to
be an English teacher some day.
Even with the teaching world being
tough to get into, Russell is hoping
her novel helps her in future career
Stormy designed the front cover,
and her aunt, Sabrina Russell, took
the picture.
Her book is now available across
the world in Greece, Italy, Spain
and Japan, among others. Her only
concern is that its not translated.
Her next project is to have it trans-
If Stormys perseverance is as
strong as her dreams are starry,
the future appears fortuitous for
a young woman whose first name
complements her inaugural novel.
Divine is available at Albrights
College Bookstore, and online at
Publish America, and
Barnes & Noble. List price is $24.95.
From the Billboard
The Albrightian
Billboard Hot 100
1. Somebody That I Used To
Know Gotye featuring Kimbra
2. We Are Young Fun. featuring
Janelle Monae
3. Payphone Maroon 5 featur-
ing Wiz Khalifa
4. Boyfriend Justin Bieber
5. Glad You Came The Wanted
6. Wild Ones Flo Rida featuring
7. Call Me Maybe Carly Rae
8. What Makes You Beautiful
One Direction
9. Starships Nicki Minaj
10. (Stronger) What Doesnt Kill
You Kelly Clarkson
Billboard 200
1. Tuskegee Lionel Richie
2. Love Is A Four Lettter Word
Jason Mraz
3. 21 Adele
4. California 37 Train
5. Up All Night One Direction
6. Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded
Nicki Minaj
7. Making Mirrors Gotye
8. Pluto Future
9. Slipstream Bonnie Raitt
10. Tailgates & Tanlines Luke
Weekend Box Office
1. Think Like A Man
2. The Pirates! Band Of Misfts
3. The Hunger Games
4. The Lucky One
5. The Five-Year Engagement
6. Safe (2012)
7. The Raven
8. Chimpanzee
9. The Three Stooges
10. The Cabin In The Woods
New York Times
1. Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L.
2. Fifty Shades Darker by E.L.
3. Fifty Shades Freed by E.L.
4. The Innocent by David Baldacci
5. The Witness by Nora Roberts
6. The Lucky One by Nicholas
7. Calico Joe by John Grisham
8. Unnatural Acts by Stuart Woods
9. Guilty Wives by James Patter-
10. What Doesnt Kill You by Iris
Hank the songbird
In what is arguably the per-
fect anthem for angst-intoxicated
ers, the
toos all
lining up
beer and
ies for
a party
at their
ing to convince freshmen theyre
somebody by spending all of their
parents money on kegstandsand
Matt says I dont fit in.
My Last Semester is one of the
songs on the bands 2010 album
entitled The Upsides and more
importantly, one of the selec-
tions they chose for the lineup of
their April 20 performance at the
Theatre of Living Arts on Philadel-
phias famous South Street. That
Friday night, the Wonder Years
carried out their teenage dream,
headlining the Glamour Kills tour
and playing the final show of the
tours American leg in the very
town in which they grew up.
Avid fans anticipated this show
to be particularly exhilarating and
emotional, recognizing that the
area holds special significance
to the band members. Many of
their lyrics proudly proclaim that
the Wonder Years are natives to
a humble Pennsylvania town; in
fact, their fourth album is entitled
Suburbia: Ive Given You All and
Now Im Nothing, accurately sum-
marizing the bands feelings re-
garding their average lives in the
suburbs. Though the dull drear of
typical days can leave something
to be desired, they obviously can-
not help but
their tiny
town [Lans-
dale, Pa.] as
a source of
comfort, for
it is their
home and
the place
they will
always feel
most com-
fortable and
happy; it is
where their
friends are.
tic crowd
the entire performance, loyally
singing along with front-man Soupy
as he belted Came Out Swinging,
We Wont be Pathetic Forever,
Youre Not Salinger -- Get Over
It, and several other hits before
finally concluding the concert with
a loud, confetti-spewing finale of
All My Friends are in Bar Bands.
Other bands that took the
stage during the Glamour Kills
tour included A Loss for Words, the
Story So Far, Transit, and the Polar
Bear Club. Prior to their sets, each
of the bands made remarks about
their fellow performers, all attest-
ing to the great time theyve had
on tour with one another and their
respect for each others music.
During the last refrain of All My
Friends are in Bar Bands, the stage
exploded with the confetti pop-
pers as all the members of all the
bands returned, joining in with the
crowd in serenading the Wonder
Years with their own tag-line, Im
not sad anymore, Im just tired of
this place. If this year would just
end, I think wed all be o.k.
The Albrightian
Photos courtesy of Melanie Weiland The Wonder Years take the stage at the TLA
The Albrightian
May 3, 2012
Win a
NEW Apple iPad
Refer a friend to our
Summer Session
to enter the drawing.
Register online at
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Mod 5 | Mod A
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Starts June 11
Starts May 14
Stay on course this summer!
A different side of D.C.
I've been to Washington, D.C.
several times during my life.
Being rela-
tively close
to the capi-
tol from my
home town of
Lancaster, my
school district
was able able
to send us on
day trips in
middle and
high school.
they were
mostly the
type, with a
lot of time
spent at the
museums in
the National Mall area. While the
museums in D.C. are nothing short
of brilliant, on these trips, there
was little time to visit other parts
of the city.
However on this trip to D.C.,
which was sponsored by the Anime
Society, I was shown something
completely new. For starters, I
had my first D.C. Metro experi-
ence, and it was definitely a good
one. The metro was clean and
(with some help) relatively easy
to figure out. For anyone ventur-
ing to D.C., don't be afraid of the
public transportation. A full-day
pass only costs you nine dollars,
and it will take you just about
anywhere in the city.
We took the metro to the
Capitol Hill area and went to
Eastern Market, D.C.'s oldest pub-
lic market. They sell just about
anything from antiques and art-
work to fresh produce and cooked
food. The market has both an
outdoor and an indoor area, span-
ning across a pedestrian street, a
parking lot, and the market build-
ing itself. I could have spent all
day visiting the different vendors,
sampling foods, and looking at
art. There was so much to see!
Surprisingly enough, it wasn't too
crowded. As I'm told, it's mostly
locals that visit the market. Want
to go to D.C. and escape huge
crowds? Visit Eastern
We took the metro
back to the mall, where
we then walked to Chi-
natown. For those ex-
pecting a New-York-style
Chinatown, you may be
disappointed. Although
not extremely China-ish, China-
town was home to many excellent
restaurants and (my favorite),
places to get gelato, ice cream,
and frozen yogurt.
Whenever I go to the
city, or anywhere for that
matter, I always get stuck
looking for places to eat
that are healthy and, most
importantly, cheap! In
D.C., I ended up eating at a
place called Chop't which
specializes in salads and
wraps. It's cheap, fast and
delicious, and they have
endless combinations of
toppings and dressings. It's
right in Chinatown, a few
blocks from the mall, which
makes it very convenient as
Photos courtesy of Megan Homsher
cated and knowledgeable individual. Id
soon learn that she was also an effcient
baker (she frequently brought homemade
banana bread to class), a funny conver-
sationalist (her comments on my papers
frequently made me chuckle aloud), and
a skillful writer (her volume of published
work is astounding).
When she asked me to stay after class
one day for a chat, then, I did not groan
or fret as I would have had the invita-
tion come from a less-pleasant professor.
Far from the typical polite-yet-guarded
exchange held across a desk, she and I
spoke directly and casually. She, because
of her tendency to care about aspects
of the lives of those around her, already
knew I was a confused Alpha major. Sitting
in the now-vacant classroom, she told me
how much she liked my last paper and
asked me if I had ever considered English
as a major. Truthfully I had, but I lacked
the confdence that I could succeed with
such a degree in the career world. In en-
couragement, she was not phony, cheesy
Continued from Page 1
or improbable. Then, instead
of merely listing different jobs
I could hold, she proceeded
to take me on a tour of the
humanities building, introducing
me to everyone we met along
the way.
To this day, I do not believe
she realizes how much I value
her guidance during my frst
semester as a college student. I
am now in fact an English major,
much thanks to her. Not only do
I feel pleased about the direc-
tion Ive chosen for my studies,
but I also feel as if Ive been
welcomed into the department.
A polytopian and a story-
teller, an author and a reader,
a professor and a friend; it is a
shame that Professor Wolbers
will no longer be on Albrights
Sayonara sensei, and thanks
for everything!
The Albrightian
In the afternoon, we visited
the National Zoo. There were a
number of good things about the
zoo, the biggest one being that
it was completely free. Secondly,
it was home to an
enormous variety
of animals: big
cats, pandas and
elephants, as well
as many small mam-
mals and reptiles.
Third, did I mention
that it was com-
pletely free?
The zoo is free
to all visitors be-
cause it is techni-
cally a Smithsonian
institute, just like
many of the other
museums in the
mall that are also
free of charge. The
zoo not only houses
the animals, but
it also studies and
researches them.
The animals are
constantly under
video surveillance,
and many of them
are involved in
breeding programs to help replen-
ish the population of endangered
breeds. This means that there may
be young animals running around
in various exhibits, and nothing is
cuter than that!
In visiting Chinatown, Eastern
Market, and the National Zoo, I
experienced a completely differ-
ent side of D.C.-a side that I had
previously assumed did not exist.
It truly is a wonderful city. For
those of you who have visited D.C.
in the past, I encourage you to
go back and take a second lookI
Eastern Market in D.C.
Capital building from afar
A tiger goes for a stroll at The National Zoo
The Voice of Albright College since 1904. 8
May 3, 2012
Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3 x 3 box
contains the digits 1 through 9. You cant change the digits already
provided in the grid. You have to work around them. Every puzzle has
just one correct solution.
8 3 8 5
5 6 3
7 2 8
8 1
5 4
6 2
7 1 8
Continued from Page 1
Continued from Page 1
Cartoon is an anonymous submission
Sorry for the hiatus, but Im
a busy woman: things to do,
people to see, bars to be crawled
to. Im going to keep this one
short and simple. I hate spiders;
they sit there spinning their webs
made of lies, yes LIES. Heres
the thing: as someone as open as
yours truly, youd better believe
that Ill tell you how it is. If you
kiss like youve been starving for
days and my face looks appetiz-
ing, Ill let you know. If youre
a one pump chump, Ill let you
know. If youre lying about what
happened, Ill let the world
There is nothing grimier then
a person who doesnt kiss, but
tells. If Im man enough to admit
to hooking up with someone that
resembles Wee-Man from Jackass,
I think I would admit to those
more attractive then that. Come
on, now Im one for admitting to
ones flaws. I have a list including
Wee-Man, dinky men, taken men,
stupid men, and almost a close
encounter with Sasquatch--thank
goodness my women captured him
before I became his next victim.
Anyway, I call these spiders
Serena Williams. She hits and
hits all these balls and then has
the nerve to say that shes never
played tennis before. COME ON
or better yet Common, Drake,
Gregory Michael, yeah Im sure
they were fine with a movie and
sleeping in separate twin size
beds, maybe holding hands, but
only in public. Yeah, Serena
yeah. Anyway, if youre going to
lie about things, make sure that
theres no evidence against you--
like Wimbledon Championships.
But on a lighter note, the
school year is ending and we
are approaching the last week
before finals and, well, summer
lovin. My dear underclassmen,
just remember that summer is
three months long, which is just
enough time to finally rekindle
that flame from high school or
make a contact with that long-
term crush that you will always
crush on for no reason. Now, for
my fellow seniors, this is differ-
ent. In about two weeks, many of
us will officially be unemployed
college graduates that probably
didnt retain enough information
to figure out how to put a stamp
on an envelope, but thats okay
YODO, Your One Degrees Obliter-
ated. Yup, Obliterated because
you drank so hard for four years.
Im sure you can remember more
blackout moments than anything
done in class. Dont let any of
this get you down. We need this
time to rest our livers and let
our brains mature through the
damage weve done to our bod-
ies. Also, stamps are now sticky,
so all youve got to do is peel
and place the stamp in the upper
right-hand corner.
But anyway, final tips of the
trade: dont drink and drive,
protect yourself before you wreck
yourself, dont pump if youre
going to be a one pump chump,
know that one hit wonders are
acceptable, liars get caught,
and cheaters sometimes prosper
and most of all, use plan A so
you dont need Plan B. Girls,
can always put on make-up to
hide a butter face, but boys,
you cant play basketball with a
tennis ball, and you wont read
another article like this because
cap and gown delivered, Im
Lead Lioness
Lead Lioness and the big fnish
The Albrightian
and forth.
There are a lot of things in life
I half-a**, admits senior Mark Dod-
Chubby Checkers The Twist, he
goes on to say with serious disposi-
tion, is not one of them.
For his precise and thorough exe-
cution of the Twist, Mark won a back-
yard golf-chipping set.
Freshman Jena Dittus also reaped
tropical rewards for her clever solu-
tion to one of Bobs puzzles. Show
me snake eyes, he commanded of
the crowd. While many of her class-
mates merely squinted in the direc-
tion of the microphone, Jena grabbed
her ipod and quickly brought up a
snapshot of the G.I. Joe by the same
name. She hurried to the dais and
showed Bob, who chuckled, impressed
by her creativity.
I geeked out, and I got it! she
declared afterwards with a grinit
being a dice game.
Each student was given a ticket
upon entering the cafeteria, automat-
ically entering him/her into raffes for
various gift cards, folding chairs, and
boogie boards. Periodically,
Bob paused activities to draw
a ticket from his plastic tub.
After handing out hundreds of
dollars worth of prizes, he and
his party crew surprised the
students who still remained,
instructing them to take fresh
tickets just moments before
the drawing of the quintes-
sential summer win: a new,
shiny red bicycle. In the end,
junior Thomas Atom won the
grand toy, which he proceed-
ed to ride right out the caf-
eteria doors into the Campus
Though it may be a while
before they can lay out and
tan on their brand-new beach
towels, Albright students
didnt let the thermometers
data spoil their Beach Party.
With plates of shrimp and
salt-water taffy wrappers lit-
tering the tables, the essence
of summer radiated from the
cafeteria. In fact, the food
service staff seemed to have
thrown the Beach Party at
the perfect time; with fnals
just around the corner, noth-
ing beat dancing around with
friends and sipping Mikes
hand-blended milkshakes!
other space fight engineers from
the beginning of the 20th century,
but they did not come without costs.
Many critics of the shuttle and other
NASA Programs, like me, highlight
both the expensive price tag of the
program and the number of lives
lost in the Challenger and Columbia
Shuttle Disasters.
Regardless of these achievements
and costs, the Space Shuttle Program
has come to represent one of the
United States hallmark space initia-
tives, and a landmark in human in-
novation. The Space Shuttle Program
could very well be the last manned
space fight program achieved by
the United States; it could mark the
drawdown of civilian space programs
and a new era of private space tech-
nological development.
song. This song was a serious
song; it began seriously but then
ended humorously. They began
singing about problems in the
world that we ignore, but then
changed the tone by singing about
not sprinkling on the toilet seat.
I hate when theres pee on the
seat, so please dont get your pee
on the seat, sang Runciman.
Once the duo finished singing,
the judges announced the winners.
Hicks was named Mr. Albright and
Perez was named Mrs. Albright.
Chelsea Cool, a junior, enjoyed
the puppet show. Id say probably
the puppet show was my favorite.
This years Mr. and Mrs. Albright
pageant was clearly a crowd-pleas-
er and a very entertaining event
Mr. and Mrs. Albright
Continued from Page 6