FAKULTI PENDIDIKAN DAN BAHASA

SEMESTER MAY 2014

OUMH 1303
ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION


NAMA : LOKMAN BIN SAMIAN
NO. MATRIKULASI : 830510015345001
IDENTITY CARD NUMBER : 830510-01-5345
TELEPHONE NUMBER : 01-5202!"!
E-MAIL : #$%$&'($83)*$+,,.-,&
TUTOR.S NAME : MR. RUBAN A/L PAUL DURAI
LEARNING CENTRE : IPOH
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1.0 INTRODUCTION
Assalamualaikum and good morning, ladies and gentleman. I am Lokman Bin Samian,
The founder of the Brainy Montessori. I am deeply honored to be given the opportunity to talk
about what it takes to be a good parent. The fous of my talk is on the harateristis of a good
parent.
The bond between parents and hildren is one of love and affetion! yet we ome aross people
who hate their parents and also people who feel that their parents have let them down. "hy it
this the ase # Are these people unnatural or are they $ustified # %erhaps in some ases they are
$ustified. Most men and women get married and have hildren but not all of them are worthy of
being parents. %arenthood, like other responsibilities, needs devotion, dediation and a lot of
preparation. %rospetive parents must reogni&e their responsibilities and reali&e what
parenthood involves.
%arents nowadays fae a lot of hallenges when bringing up their hildren due to the
tehnologial boom. 'hildren are e(posed to modern gadget. They are easily influened by the
behavior of artists, personalities and adults around them. This is the proess of learning that is
gaining new e(perienes or transforming to the e(isting information. 'hildren observe what
people around them are doing. They imitate the behaviour of people lose to them suh as their
parents. That is why parents need to demonstrate harateristis of a good parent to ensure that
the hildren will beome useful iti&ens.
2.0 C+$#$-01#2302-3 ,4 $ 5,,( 6$#170
In my opinion, firstly, parents should have to e(press love and affetion. The father must
a gentle uddle, a little enouragement. Appreiate, approval, or even a smile to your hildren.
Sadly, many hildren seek this kind of aeptane from their peers. Show them to tell that you
love everyday. Mother espeially, give a lot of hugs and some kisses. Love them unonditionally,
don)t fore them to be who you think they should in order to earn your love. Let them know that
you will always love them no matter what.
*oting that a parent may have several hildren with different abilities and needs, the
parent ability to provide love and affetion to the whole family enables the family to remain
bonded together. This +uality is passed through generations hene maintaining the family unity.
Through this +uality, the parent is able to nurture virtues in the family and eliminate the vies
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among the family members. To ahieve this, a parent needs to ompliment eah family member
positive ahievements while ondemning any evil doings.
Seondly, being able to provide for the family with safety. This enompasses physial
safety of the shelter, the finanial safety of being able to meet the family)s finanial needs and
other forms of psyhologial safety. Most families in the global sense demand high degree of
seurity and safety due to the unertainties in the world. ,inanial seurity to prepare the family
members for their future espeially for the kids eduation is a ruial role that is a ompliment
for every parent. %arents have to be areful to not overprotet their hildren, so they have to find
a balane between freedom and restritions. It is important to e(plain hildren why something
are forbidden and also give them enough freedom in the way that the hild ould have the
opportunity to reate a rational thought, beause they have to develop their mind and start to
think the pros and ons about everything. All the time parents have to be beside them without his
appreiation, $ust in ase that they need a hand in ase of any
problem. %arents have to make a strong effort to gain their onfidene, in the way that his son
trust them. In anyway parents annot ritii&e the hildren-s ideas, is better to e(plain with a real
life e(ample, why they ould be wrong or also show them other better options, onse+uently the
hild will appreiate it and ne(t time they will ask to his parent for helping.
Thirdly, being able to listen to the voie of the family members and reating effetively
to their demands. 'onsidering that nobody is perfet, when parents makes mistakes, they need to
aept and orret their mistakes on good time and in good faith for the better of the family and
soiety at large. Through this, a parent will be able to be a role model to the family. .oung
adolesents need strong role models. Try to live the behavior and values that you hope your hild
will develop. .our ations speak louder than words. If you set high standards for yourself and
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treat others with kindness and respet, your hild stands a better hane of following your
e(ample. As adolesents e(plore possibilities of who they may beome, they look to their
parents, peers, well/known personalities and others to define who they may beome.
,urthermore, being a good listener is very important. Aording to researh on listening
skills, being a good listener means fousing attention on the message and reviewing the
important information. %arents an model good listening behavior for their hildren and advise
them on ways to listen as an ative learner, pik out highlights of a onversation, and ask
relevant +uestions. Sometimes it helps to 0show0 hildren that an ative listener is one who looks
the speaker in the eye and is willing to turn the television off to make sure that the listener is not
distrated by outside interferene.
"hen parents have time to listen to their hildren, the ommuniation is open between
parties. To illustrate, my brother failed his siene sub$et in shool. My parents did not $udge or
sold him, instead they talked to him and listened to his onerns. They found out that he did not
understand his lesson well beause of his assigned seat. 1e was sitting ne(t to an air onditioner,
and it bothered him. *e(t, enourage talking. Some hildren need an invitation to start talking.
.ou might begin 2 Tell me about your day at shool#3. 'hildren are more likely to share their
ideas and feelings when others think them important. .ou an listen patiently. %eople think faster
than they speak. "ith limited voabulary and e(periene in talking, hildren often take longer
than adults do to find the right words. Listen as though you have plenty of time.
1ear hildren out. Avoid utting hildren off before they have finished speaking. It)s easy
to form an opinion or re$et hildren)s views before they finish what they have to say. It may be
diffiult to listen respetfully and not orret misoneptions, but respet their rights to have and
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e(press their opinions. Avoid dead/end +uestions. Ask your hildren the kinds of +uestion that
will e(tend interation rather than ut it off. 4uestion that re+uire a yes or no or right answers
lead a onversation to a dead/end. 4uestions that ask him to desribe , e(plain, or share ideas
prolong the onversation. 5(tend onversation. Try to pik up a piee of your hild)s
onversation. 6espond to her statements by asking a +uestion that restate or uses some of the
same words she used. "hen you use your hild)s own phrasing or terms, you strengthen her
onfidene in her onversational and verbal skills and reassure her that her ideas are being
listened to and valued.
.There are no perfet parents. 1owever, a bad deision or an 0off0 day 7or week or month8 isn9t
likely to have any lasting impat on your hild. "hat9s most important in being an effetive
parent is what you do over time.
Last but not the least the parents have to be affetionate towards their hildren. *ever hate them,
when they do something wrong. 5ven when they go in the wrong path, the love and affetion that
the parents show their kids will bring them bak to the right trak.
Apart from the above mentioned +ualities, some other +ualities like patiene, tolerane et., are
also needed for the parents. All the hildren born in this world are good. As they grow, they
beome good or bad depending on the way, their parents bring them up. Therefore, I mentioned
some +ualities, whih I thought are important for a good parent.
,rom my view point, parents have high responsibilities by training hildren in the ommunity.
Therefore, they should be puntual and areful about their behaviors with their hildren in the
family and two important haraters are being aware of all aspets of hildren and having the
ability of tolerating hildren when they make a mistake.
*e(t, provide order. Set boundaries suh as bedtimes and urfews, so they learn that they
have limitations. By doing so, they atually get a sense of being loved and ared about by their
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parents. They might rebel at those boundaries, but inwardly en$oy knowing that onerned
parents guide and love them.
5nourage responsibility by giving them $obs or 0hores0 to do and as a reward for those $obs
give them some kind of privilege 7money, e(tended urfew, e(tra play time, et.8. As
0punishment0 for not doing these $obs, they have the orresponding privilege revoked. 5ven the
youngest of hildren an learn this onept of reward:onse+uene. As your hild grows, give
them more responsibilities and more rewards:onse+uenes for ompleting those responsibilities
7or not8.
Teah them what is right and wrong. If you are religious, take them to the religious institute that
you follow. If you are an atheist or an agnosti, teah them your moral stane on things. In either
ase, don9t be hyporitial or be prepared for your hild to point out that you are not 0pratiing
what you preah0.
Make sure that they have a healthy way of life. Many parents do this the wrong way.
Instead of foring hildren to try eating something, give them a hoie between two things. It an
push hildren, espeially preteens and up, to a very emotional point, if you begin to harp for
them to hange their eating habits. If they want something unhealthy, suggest an alternative or a
smaller si&e. If you know they favor a ertain unhealthy food at a restaurant, taking them there a
lot is not good. And if you start over-explaining to the hild that it is unhealthy or that they
shouldn9t get it // they may take it the wrong way and feel like you are insulting them. ;ne this
happens, they will no longer want to go out to eat with you, and they will feel bad eating around
you whih ould make them want to sneak and hide $unk food from you. "hen you tell them
they an9t have something or shouldn9t... it an reate one of two things. ;ne, it ould make them
want it even more and find out how to get it anyways. Two, it ould make them feel e(tremely
bad 7ontrary:oppositional8, and they might go all out with all unhealthy foods e(ept that one
whih ould be worse than giving hoies to get ooperation.
Then, we should setting limits. .oung adolesents need parents or other adults who
onsistently provide struture and supervision that is firm and appropriate for age and
development. Limits keep all hildren, inluding young teens, physially and emotionally safe.
'arole <ennedy is a former middle shool prinipal, =.S. >epartment of 5duation9s %rinipal/
in/6esidene 7?@@@8 and president of the *ational Assoiation of 5lementary Shool %rinipals.
She puts it this way, 0They need parents who an say, 9*o, you annot go to the mall all day or to
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movies with that group of kids.0 %syhologist >iana Baumrind identifies three types of
parentsA authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. By studying about findings from more than
?@ years of researh, she and her olleagues have found that to be effetive parents, it9s best to
avoid e(tremes. Authoritarian parents who lay down hard/and/fast rules and e(pet their
hildren to always do as they are told or permissive parents who have very few rules or
regulations and give their hildren too muh freedom are most likely to have the most diffiult
time as parents. Their hildren are at risk for a range of negative behavioral and emotional
onse+uenes. 1owever, authoritative parents, who set limits that are lear and ome with
e(planations, tend to struggle less with their adolesents. 0>o it beause I said so0 probably
didn9t work for your son when he was B and it9s even less likely to work now that he9s an
adolesent.
3.0 CONCLUSION
There are no perfet parents. 1owever, a bad deision or an 0off0 day 7or week or month8 isn9t
likely to have any lasting impat on your hild. "hat9s most important in being an effetive
parent is what you do over time.
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Last but not the least the parents have to be affetionate towards their hildren. *ever hate them,
when they do something wrong. 5ven when they go in the wrong path, the love and affetion that
the parents show their kids will bring them bak to the right trak.
Apart from the above mentioned +ualities, some other +ualities like patiene, tolerane et., are
also needed for the parents. All the hildren born in this world are good. As they grow, they
beome good or bad depending on the way, their parents bring them up. Therefore, I mentioned
some +ualities, whih I thought are important for a good parent.
,rom my view point, parents have high responsibilities by training hildren in the ommunity.
Therefore, they should be puntual and areful about their behaviors with their hildren in the
family and two important haraters are being aware of all aspets of hildren and having the
ability of tolerating hildren when they make a mistake.
Being a good parent is in itself a proess of growing up. ;ne should have the apaity to love
and to love wiselyA it is this kind of person who makes a good parent. Share yourself with your
hildren and they will love you and learn from you.
The initial suess of hildren is parental and ommunity awareness the uni+ueness and
e(istene made by the uni+ueness and e(istene by their ideas e(pressed by the hildren.
'hildren need their parents responsive and fle(ible and sensitive to ommunity this development
of them. >evelopment overing various aspets need to be determined by the parents and the
ommunity. Therefore, the appropriate stimulus aording to a hild9s development should be
given so that the hild able to adapt to the environment, improve the ability generate ideas and
inrease onfidene in doing e(ploration in the environment.
%arental and ommunity involvement is very important in the development early hildhood as it
will have an impat on growth and indiretly to the future of the asset national importane.
Therefore, parents and the ommunity need to be aware of the role respetively in the resurreted
state intelligene inside the kids with pragmati upbringing during the early them.
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