INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Interpersonal skills, sometimes referred to as communication skills, soft skills or people

skills, are the life skills we use everyday to communicate and interact with others. A list of
interpersonal skills could include: Interpersonal skills are about how we communicate with
others, our confidence, our ability to listen and understand. People with strong interpersonal skills
are often more successful, both professionally and in their personal lives, as good interpersonal
skills allow others to perceive us as more confident and with more charisma, qualities that are
often endearing.
You already have interpersonal skills. We all learn how people are likely to react to what we
say, how we say it and what we do. How these actions are likely to make them, and us, feel.
hose with strong interpersonal skills have learnt to identify which are the best ways of interacting
with others in different situations. !nterpersonal skills are easily developed, a little time and effort
spent working, thinking and practicing your interpersonal skills can pay huge rewards in all
aspects of your life.
here a variety of skills you will need to succeed in different areas of life and SkillsYouNeed has
sections covering many of these. However, the foundation for many areas of our lives are good
interpersonal skills since these are relevant to our personal relationships, social affairs and
professional lives and are the basis on which we can develop other life skills. "nlike specialised
and technical skills, interpersonal skills will be used every day and in every area of our lives.
Here, you can find out how to develop specific interpersonal skills including:
Learn to Listen
#istening is not the same as hearing. ake time to listen carefully to what others are saying
through verbal and non$verbal methods.
Choose Your Words
%e aware of the words you are using when talking to others: could you be misunderstood or
confusing& Practice clarity and seek feedback to ensure your message has been comprehended.
Understand Why Communication Fails
%y learning about the various barriers to good communication you can be aware of and reduce
the likelihood of ineffective interpersonal skills.
ela!
When we are nervous we tend to talk more quickly and therefore less clearly. %eing tense is also
evident in our body language and other non$verbal communication try to stay calm, make eye
contact and smile. #et your confidence shine.
Clarify
'how an interest in the people you talk to, ask questions and seek clarification on any points that
could be easily misunderstood.
"e #ositive
ry to remain positive and cheerful. People are much more likely to be drawn to you if you can
maintain a positive attitude.
$mpathise
"nderstand that other people may have different points of view. ry to see things from their
perspective. (ou may learn something while you gain the respect and trust of others.
Understand Stress
#earn to recognise stress in others and yourself. Although stress is not always bad high levels
can have very detrimental effects on the communication process.
Learn to %e &ssertive
(ou should aim to be neither passive nor aggressive) being assertive is about e*pressing your
feelings and beliefs in a way that others can understand and respect. Assertiveness is
fundamental to successful negotiation.
eflect and Improve
hink about previous conversations and other interpersonal interactions) learn from your mistakes
and successes. Always keep a positive attitude but realise that you can always improve your
communication skills.
What is Interpersonal Communication'
Interpersonal communication is the process by which people e*change information, feelings,
and meaning through ver%al and non(ver%al messages: it is face(to(face communication.
!nterpersonal communication is not +ust about what is actually said $ the language used $ but ho)
it is said and the non$verbal messages sent such as tone of voice, facial e*pressions and body
language.
When t)o or more people are in the same place and are a)are of each other*s presence,
then communication is takin+ place, no matter ho) su%tle or unintentional. Without speech,
an observer may be using cues of posture, facial e*pression, and dress to form an impression of
the other,s role, emotional state, personality and-or intentions. Although no communication may
be intended, people receive messages through forms of non(ver%al behaviour.
.uch research has been done to try to break down interpersonal communication into a
number of elements in order that it can be more easily understood. /ommonly these elements
include:
,he Communicators
0or any communication to occur there must be at least two people involved. !t is easy to think
about communication involving a sender and a receiver of a message. However, the problem with
this way of seeing a relationship is that it presents communication as a one()ay process where
one person sends the message and the other receives it.
!n fact communications are almost always comple*, t)o()ay processes, with people sending
and receiving messages to and from each other. !n other words, communication is an interactive
process.
,he -essa+e
.essage not only means the speech used or information conveyed, but also the non(ver%al
messages e*changed such as facial e!pressions, tone of voice, +estures and %ody
lan+ua+e. 1on$verbal behaviour can convey additional information about the message spoken.
!n particular, it can reveal more about emotional attitudes which may underlie the content of
speech.
Noise
1oise has a special meaning in communication theory. !t refers to anything that distorts the
message, so that what is received is different from what is intended by the speaker. Whilst
physical ,noise, 2for e*ample, background sounds or a low$flying +et plane3 can interfere with
communication, other factors are considered to be 4noise5. he use of complicated .ar+on,
inappropriate %ody lan+ua+e, inattention and cultural differences can be considered ,noise,
in the conte*t of interpersonal communication. !n other words, any distortions or inconsistencies
that occur during an attempt to communicate can be seen as noise.
Feed%ack
0eedback consists of messages the receiver returns, which allows the sender to know how
accurately the message has been received, as well as the receiver,s reaction. he receiver may
also respond to the unintentional message as well as the intentional message. ypes of feedback
range from direct verbal statements, for e*ample 6'ay that again, ! don,t understand6, to subtle
facial e*pressions or changes in posture which might indicate to the sender that the receiver feels
uncomfortable with the message. 0eedback allows the sender to regulate, adapt or repeat the
message in order to improve communication.
Conte!t
All communication is influenced by the conte*t in which it takes place. However, apart from
looking at the situational conte*t of where the interaction takes place, for e*ample in a room,
office, or perhaps outdoors, the social conte*t also needs to be considered, for e*ample the roles,
responsibilities and relative status of the participants. he emotional climate and participants,
e*pectations of the interaction will also affect the communication.
Channel
he channel refers to the physical means by which the message is transferred from one person
to another. !n face$to$face conte*t the channels which are used are speech and vision, however
the channel is limited to speech alone during a telephone conversation.