REVELATION

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REVELATION
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REVELATION
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MR.MUM MEMOIRS

DAY 13: MY DINNER NIGHTMARE

Dinner didnt start well . . . Im not sure if it was because I had a headache from all
of the afternoons screaming, or if it was more to do with the fact that my left
testicle had just been upper cut to replace my Adams apple from my three year
olds whirling fist of death. Probably the latter, but needless to say . . . I was at a
disadvantage to begin with, before the food was even on the table. I said grace
through clenched teeth and tried to begin pleasant exchanges with our dinner
guests despite the fact that I was pale, nauseous and felt like lying down for a
couple of weeks with an icepack between my legs.
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It was about five minutes into the dinner that all hell broke loose like a sloppy nappy
after raisins and prune juice. Now, normally Im pretty sharp on the discipline and
can maintain some semblance of control, but I have to confess that they
completely get the better of me this time . . . it was as though the scene unfolded
before my eyes like a slow motion surround sound purgatory that I was unable to
escape or influence in any way . . . In no particular order and without specifically
shaming out which of my children was responsible for which transgression . . . the
following was my dinner nightmare:

A plastic knife and fork were being used as drama props first they served as a
Charlie Chaplain mustache, then reindeer antlers, and finally something pushed
under his shirt that looked an awful lot like a Dolly Partons more pronounced
features.
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Another one of my boys threw utensils down on the table and began to contort
his face in a very convincing re-enactment of epilepsy to protest me taking his
drink away. I had done this because my persistent requests for him to cease his
miniature spaghetti-into-drinking-cup baptism ceremony had fallen on deaf ears.

I think it was at this point that the four of them started burping like a quartet
of bullfrogs in chorus culminating in one of them fluffing like a duck with a bagpipe
up its tail feather. It was both musically brilliant, and parentally mortifying all at
once.

One of them announced in front of the entire dinner table, Daddy, I can see
your boogers! Embarrassed I excused myself from the table to attend to this
side effect of my pre-dinner involuntary vasectomy.

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After dinner, I vaguely recall one of my children biting me on the leg as I
carried him up the stairs, and it was around about this point that I thought how
nice it would be if somebody would render me the service of 5mls of Nurofen, a
nappy change and being put into my cot with a bottle.

No such luxury was afforded though, and my miniature fantasy was rudely
interrupted by the sound of my third born running naked down the stairs urgently
yelling to my guests: Ive lost my puppy! (Just to clarify . . . we dont have a puppy).

It was at this point that it occurred to me that I had fed them some discount
imported lollies from the local IGA against my better judgement; which was clearly
the source of their surge of mutant strength and heightened strangeness.



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What sick and depraved parent hater mixed that candy cocktail of artificial
colours in the first place? I dont know. But if I ever find out, Ill be sure to
introduce him to my three year olds whirling fist of death for an involuntary
vasectomy.




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REVELATION
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REVELATION
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PROVERBS 29:18
Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint;
but blessed is the one who heeds wisdoms instruction.
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REVELATION
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We need to see Gods PLAN
We need to see our PART
We need to see their POTENTIAL
We need to see the big PICTURE
REVELATION
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REVELATION
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We need to see Gods PLAN

EXODUS 3:15
God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, `The Lord, the God of your fathers---the God
of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob---has sent me to you.' This is my name
forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation.
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REVELATION
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We need to see Gods PLAN

PROVERBS 13:22
A good man leaves an inheritance for his childrens children,
but a sinners wealth is stored up for the righteous.
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REVELATION
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We need to see Gods PLAN

JUDGES 2:7-8,10
The people served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived
him and who had seen all the great things the Lord had done for Israel. [8] Joshua, the
servant of the Lord, died at the age of a hundred and ten. After that whole generation had
been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor
what he had done for Israel.
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REVELATION
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We need to see our PART

PROVERBS 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it.
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REVELATION
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We need to see our PART

DEUTERONOMY 11:18-21
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and
bind them on your foreheads. [19] Teach them to your children, talking about them when you
sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. [20]
Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, [21] so that your days and
the days of your children may be many in the land that the Lord swore to give your
forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.
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We need to see our PART

Journalling

Birthdays

Bed-time used for training in prayer and scripture

Morning Routine used to build expectation for the day

Drives to and from school

Expand your impact to your kids friends as well

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REVELATION
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We need to see their POTENTIAL

1 SAMUEL 1, 3 & 7
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him
to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord The Lord was with Samuel
as he grew up, and he let none of Samuels words fall to the ground. And all Israel
recognized that Samuel was attested as a prophet of the Lord. Samuel continued as
Israels leader all the days of his life.
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Holly & Micah Brainwood
Grayson Burrows
Oscar Duke Stevens
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We need to see the big PICTURE

Max Jukes was an atheist who married a godless woman. Some five hundred and sixty
descendants were traced. Of these:

310 died as paupers
150 became criminals, 7 of them murderers
100 were known to be drunkards
More than half the women were prostitutes
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REVELATION
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We need to see the big PICTURE

Jonathon Edwards was a contemporary of Max Jukes. He was a committed Christian and
Bible Teacher. Some 1394 descendants were traced from him and his wife. Of these:

295 graduated from college, from whom 13 became college presidents, and 65 became
professors.
3 were elected as United states senators, 3 as state governors, and others sent as
ministers to foreign countries.
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We need to see the big PICTURE

30 were judges
100 were lawyers, one the dean of an outstanding law school
56 practised as physicians, one was dean of a medical school
75 became officers of the army and navy
100 were well known missionaries, preachers, and prominent authors.
Another 80 held some form of public office, of whom 3 were mayors of large cities.
One was the comptroller of the US treasury, another a vice-president of the United States.
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REVELATION
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We need to see the big PICTURE

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