Elements of E-Mail

Elements of e-mail
Business English:
scrivere mail efficaci in inglese
introduction
assets!
[+]
immediate
[+]
simple
[+]
direct
[+]
borderless
but
[-]
spam
[-]
& viruses, malware, phishing, etc

[-]
> eroded trust

[-]
information overload
?
invest in trust
cut information overload
subject line
presentation
style & tone
content
subject line
be precise
be precise
HELLO
be precise
Re:
be precise
be precise
Our meeting
be precise
Request
be precise
Appointment
be precise
Our appointment
be precise
Our appointment tomorrow

be precise
Our appointment tomorrow (Thursday 3 Dec.)

be precise
Our appointment for Thurs 3 Dec

be precise
Reschedule our appointment for Thurs 3 Dec

be precise
Your order
be precise
Your order Number 76r48598t6

be precise
Your order with NOSTRA SOC. - Number 76r485

be precise
Your order of 15 November 2009 with NOSTRA S

be precise
Delivery of your order of 15 November 2009 wit

be precise
Your order WHAT

+ Number 76r48598t6 + which (exactly)
+ 15 November 2009 + and when
+ NOSTRA SOC. + with whom
+ Delivery + what action
>
increased trust
but also
increased information overload
be brief
be brief

be brief

be brief
Delivery of your order of 15

November 2009 with NOSTRA
SOC. - Number 76r48598t6
be brief
Delivery of order of 15 November

2009 - Number 76r48598t6
be brief
Delivery of order of 15 Nov 09:

n° 76r48598t6
be brief
Delivery of order of 15 Nov 09: n° 76r48598t6

be ordered
be ordered
Delivery of order of 15 Nov 09: n° 76r48598t6

be ordered
delivery 4
order 1
15 Nov 09 3
76r48598t6 2
be ordered
delivery 4
76r48598t6 2
15 Nov 09 3
order 1
be ordered
order 1
76r48598t6 2
15 Nov 09 3
delivery 4
be ordered
Order n° 76r48598t6 of 15 Nov 09: Delivery

subject line/
presentation
style & tone
content
presentation
salutations
you don’t know the addressee’s name
Dear Sir or Madam
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

consectetur adipiscing elit. Aliquam leo
lacus, ultrices quis, volutpat ut massa.
Yours faithfully
John Smith
you know the addressee’s name
(i) formal or neutral
Dear Mr Brown

Yours sincerely
John Smith
Dear Ms Jones

Yours sincerely
John Smith
Dear Ms Catherine Jones

Yours sincerely
John Smith
you know the addressee’s name
(ii) informal
Dear Catherine

Regards
John
Hi Cathy

Best
John
Dear Catherine Sincerely yours
Hi Cathy Best regards
Hello Cathy Best wishes
Cathy Cordially
Hey CATH! Regards
Yo As ever
Yours
Best
Love
you are writing to a group
Dear Colleagues /Subscribers / Friends

Yours
John
Dear All / Everyone

Yours
John
Greetings

Yours
John
e-mail is not:
avoid e.g.
expanded forms I am / she is / we do not
missing letters mssng lttrs
IM abbreviations l8r / imho / fwiw
spelling errors raccomandation
no caps i’m italian
careless punctuation sentence end .start of next
unfinished sentences to be or not to ...
bad grammar he have two thing too do

use: correct spelling
standard punctuation
standard capitalisation
correct grammar
& use contractions:
I’m / she’d / they’ve
that’s / who’s / where’s
isn’t / hasn’t / won’t etc.
layout & format
Dear Catherine
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod
tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut

aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in
voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint
occaecat cupidatat non proident.
Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium
doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam.
Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.
Regards
John
plain text
Dear Catherine

Regards
John
aligned left
Dear Catherine

Regards
John
space between paragraphs
Dear Catherine

Regards
John
don’t SHOUT!
Dear Catherine
LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET, CONSECTETUR ADIPISICING ELIT, SED

DO EIUSMOD TEMPOR INCIDIDUNT UT LABORE ET DOLORE MAGNA
ALIQUA.
UT ENIM AD MINIM VENIAM, QUIS NOSTRUD EXERCITATION ULLAMCO

LABORIS NISI UT ALIQUIP EX EA COMMODO CONSEQUAT. DUIS AUTE
IRURE DOLOR IN REPREHENDERIT IN VOLUPTATE VELIT ESSE CILLUM
DOLORE EU FUGIAT NULLA PARIATUR. EXCEPTEUR SINT OCCAECAT
CUPIDATAT NON PROIDENT.
SED UT PERSPICIATIS UNDE OMNIS ISTE NATUS ERROR SIT

VOLUPTATEM ACCUSANTIUM DOLOREMQUE LAUDANTIUM, TOTAM REM
APERIAM.
EAQUE IPSA QUAE AB ILLO INVENTORE VERITATIS.
Regards
subject line
presentation/
style & tone
content
style & tone
I am in grande gratitudine for the massive and
importante bundle of silk, which will bring lacrime
allegre to the eyes of molte bellissime signore Florentine.
Thank you for the consignment of fabric. It is up to

your usual standard.
Caro Signor Keegan,
most respected and famoso mercante di Manchester.
Dear Sir
I am in grande gratitudine for the massive and
importante bundle of silk, which will bring lacrime
allegre to the eyes of molte bellissime signore Florentine.
Thank you for the consignment of fabric. It is up to
your usual standard.
Please accept, signore, my most humble compliments
and sincerissimi good wishes.
Yours sincerely
direct English is good style
simple words
“Short words are the best
and old words when short are best of all.”
Winston Churchill
help
assistance
so
consequently
if
provided that
take part
participate
verbosity in prepositions
to
for the purpose of

if
in case
after
subsequent to
for
in favour of
short sentences
SOURCE: Shirley Taylor, Model Business Letters, E-mails & Other Business Documents, Prentice Hall
% of people
who will
understand
on first
reading
in sentence
7-10 words
95%
% of people
who will
understand
on first
reading
in sentence
15-20 words
75%
% of people
who will
understand
on first
reading
in sentence
27+ words
4%
few paragraphs
max 4 paragraphs
Dear Catherine
1 tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.

2 voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint
3 doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam.
4 Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.
Regards
John
max 4 lines per paragraph
Dear Catherine
2 { Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod
{
4 voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint
2 { Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium
1 { Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.
Regards
John
but avoid 1 line 1 sentence paras
Dear Catherine
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit.
Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi.
Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error.
Regards
John
need more text?
Dear Catherine

Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum
claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii
legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur
mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica,
quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas
humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi,
qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in futurum.
> use an attachment
Please see attached
e-mail
John Smith bros.
23 High Street
Exampton
PS1 2TO
UK
Tel./Fax: +44 5678910
Cell: +44 789101234567
To: Catherine Jones (c.jones@company.com) david.nicholson@fastwebnet.it
From: John Smith (john.smith@smithbros.com)
Date: 2 December 2009
Dear Catherine
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum porta gravida mauris, ut sollicitudin
nunc adipiscing viverra. Curabitur sed mi nunc. Cras ac felis ligula.
Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Lorem ipsum
dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nam elementum sem quis quam tincidunt eget vulputate ligula
tempor. Integer tempus adipiscing lectus, in venenatis metus ornare at. Praesent et leo arcu. Aliquam
erat volutpat. Phasellus non erat ac purus ullamcorper egestas. Aenean lacus augue, condimentum eget
ultrices vel, commodo quis libero. Etiam sed diam vel elit viverra dignissim. Ut a lectus eget arcu eleifend
elementum. Vivamus non tellus eu nisl aliquam lobortis at in libero.
Pellentesque porttitor egestas leo, ut posuere sem lobortis sed. Maecenas at mollis nunc. Morbi tristique,
purus vel tristique gravida, neque ligula sollicitudin sem, consequat facilisis orci arcu eget ipsum. Morbi
subject line
presentation
style & tone/
content
content
a sentence is a unit of thought
a paragraph is a thematic unit
1st paragraph
- why you are writing

- what you want
Dear Saddam
I’ve asked the UN to send some weapons inspectors. Please

show them all your secret places.
NOTHING ELSE!
2nd paragraph
details
explanation
info
Dear Saddam

There are 40 scientists. All are experts in biological

weapons; none are US spies. The leader is called Hans Blix.
Hans’ll approach you if he has any needs. They’ll arrive at
your offices at 6am tomorrow morning.
think about what your correspondent
really needs to know
don’t give too little info
don’t give superfluous info
3rd paragraph
what you want, expanded

Dear Saddam


Please let them into your secret places, introduce them to

the people on your weapons program. Especially, they’ll
want to see your WMD dumps.
4th paragraph
close
Dear Saddam



Sorry this e-mail is a bit late. My father sends his regards.

apologies go here
and social glue
Dear Saddam



Sorry this e-mail is a bit late. My father sends his regards.
Best
George W.
subject line
presentation
style & tone
content/
conclusions
be human
make it easy for your correspondent
use friendly language
use just enough stuff
use just enough words
use just enough ideas
use just enough info
p.s.
http://davidnicholson.posterous.com/
some stuff we didn’t have time for
‘to’ ‘cc’ and ‘bcc’ boxes
legal implications:
privacy & staying out of trouble
attachments - when & why
when NOT to use e-mail

initiative by:
AlfaBeta
1Click2Train
Working Communication
contact:
david@davidnicholson.it
www.davidnicholson.it

Elements of E-Mail

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Elements of E-Mail

Загружено:

Авторское право:

Доступные форматы

Elements of e-mail

& viruses, malware, phishing, etc

> eroded trust

Our appointment tomorrow

Our appointment tomorrow (Thursday 3 Dec.)

Our appointment for Thurs 3 Dec

Reschedule our appointment for Thurs 3 Dec

Your order Number 76r48598t6

Your order with NOSTRA SOC. - Number 76r485

Your order of 15 November 2009 with NOSTRA S

Delivery of your order of 15 November 2009 wit

Your order WHAT

Delivery of your order of 15 November 2009 wit

Delivery of your order of 15 November 2009 wit

Delivery of your order of 15

Delivery of order of 15 November

Delivery of order of 15 Nov 09:

Delivery of order of 15 Nov 09: n° 76r48598t6

Delivery of your order of 15 November 2009 wit

Delivery of order of 15 Nov 09: n° 76r48598t6

Order n° 76r48598t6 of 15 Nov 09: Delivery

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

missing letters mssng lttrs

IM abbreviations l8r / imho / fwiw

spelling errors raccomandation

no caps i’m italian

careless punctuation sentence end .start of next

unfinished sentences to be or not to ...

bad grammar he have two thing too do

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut

Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut

Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut

Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut

Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.

LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET, CONSECTETUR ADIPISICING ELIT, SED

UT ENIM AD MINIM VENIAM, QUIS NOSTRUD EXERCITATION ULLAMCO

SED UT PERSPICIATIS UNDE OMNIS ISTE NATUS ERROR SIT

EAQUE IPSA QUAE AB ILLO INVENTORE VERITATIS.

Thank you for the consignment of fabric. It is up to

for the purpose of

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut

4 Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.

1 { Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit.

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi.

Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error.

Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis.

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut

From: John Smith (john.smith@smithbros.com)

Date: 2 December 2009

- why you are writing