Someone called "the officer" tells someone called "the explorer" that something is a

"remarkable piece of apparatus" in what just might be the vaguest opening sentence
ever.
All right, we get a little more background: there's going to be an execution of an
insubordinate soldier, and the explorer, who's visiting, is here to watch it. Since everyone
knows visitors to foreign places most like to see executions, the Commandant of the
penal colony naturally invited him to watch this one.
Apparently the execution is taking place outside of the colony proper, in a "sandy valley"
surrounded by "naked crags."
Nobody else from the colony is there to watch the execution. It's just the explorer, the
officer, the "condemned man" (that is, the guy about to bite the big one) who's all
chained up and dog-like and "stupid-looking" and the soldier who's restraining him.
The officer is making adjustments to "the apparatus," and seems to know what he is
doing. And to like it. From the way he handles it, you can tell he loves the apparatus. The
explorer, for the moment, seems totally bored.
The explorer does notice that it's hot, and comments on the officer's heavy uniform.
Turns out we're in the tropics ah, so we do get a bit more information. The officer
responds that, even if it's hot and sweaty and miserable, wearing uniform is important to
remember "home." (Aha, "home" is elsewhere.)
The officer finishes his fiddling, and washes his hands in a conveniently placed water
bucket. Everything's ready to go. If nothing goes wrong (things sometimes do, he says),
the machine should run smoothly for twelve hours.
There's a heap of chairs, and the officer offers one to the explorer, who takes it and sits
at the edge of a pit on one side of the apparatus.
The officer wants to know if the explorer has had the apparatus "explained to him" yet.
He hasn't. Goody. The officer gets to do it himself!
In the great days of yore, the officer says, the apparatus was invented by the former
Commandant. He was a big deal. He organized the whole penal colony. And it wasn't just
any penal colony: it was perfect. Just thinking about the old Commandant still makes the
officer starry-eyed.
Now we get the first description of the apparatus. It has three parts: a bottom part called
"the Bed," a top part called "the Designer," and something in between called "the
Harrow." What these actually look like isn't clear yet, except that the Harrow has lots of
little needles and looks somewhat like you guessed it a harrow.
(A "harrow" is, in its literal meaning, a plow like you would use on a farm to make
furrows in the soil.)
By the way, this whole time the officer and the explorer are speaking in French. This
means that the soldier and the condemned man are totally out of the loop. The
condemned man, though, is still trying to follow the officer's explanations.
The officer says he'll describe in detail how the apparatus works before actually putting
the condemned man into it; that way, the explorer can better appreciate what's going to
happen to him.
He also warns the apparatus might be noisy when it gets going, because it isn't in the
best shape there's a bad cog wheel, and, lamentably, it's hard for the officer to get
spare parts.
The first part of the apparatus the officer describes is the Bed. The person destined for
execution is laid out on the bed naked, bound to it with straps, and gagged with felt to
keep him from screaming.
Now, finally, we get a bit more detail about the apparatus' appearance as a whole. It's
huge. The Bed and the Designer are about the same size and look like "two dark wooden
chests." The Designer is suspended two meters over the bed by four brass rods, one at
each corner. The Harrow moves between the two, on a "ribbon of steel."
This intricate and grisly way of putting people to death are is pretty unusual, so the
explorer's attention perks up as the officer continues his description.
The Bed, says the officer, vibrates very minutely, and coordinates with the movements of
the Harrow. It's the Harrow that carries out "the sentence."
What's the sentence, the explorer wants to know? By this point, we do too.
The officer is aghast that the new Commandant didn't explain this to him. The old
Commandant would alwaysexplain such things to visitors, especially important ones like
the explorer. How fortunate that he, the officer, is the best person to explain anyway,
since he has the original drawings of the machine made by the old Commandant. Right in
his pocket!
So what does the machine do? It writes on the body of the guy-to-be-executed the very
commandment he disobeyed. This poor guy, for example, did not honor his superiors, so
"HONOUR THY SUPERIORS" (yes, it's all in capitals) will be written on his body. Get the
idea?
To the explorer's surprise, the condemned man doesn't know his sentence. "He'll learn it
on his body," the officer says.
To the explorer's greater surprise, the condemned man doesn't even know that he has
been sentenced. How then could he know if he succeeded in defending himself before
his judges?
Not a problem, says the officer. It's all very simple: he just doesn't get a defense.
The officer explains that he is the judge of the penal colony, and that his guiding principle
is "Guilt is never to be doubted." That was the philosophy of the old Commandant. The
new Commandant has been a bit meddlesome and tried to interfere with some of the
officer's practice of justice, though the officer's managed to hold his own so far.
The man condemned for execution today, the officer says, was a servant who failed in
his duty to knock on and salute his captain's door on every hour. Last night, the captain
had found him asleep, and, when he whipped him for it, the condemned man grabbed the
captain's legs and threaten to eat him.
The captain promptly told the officer about this, who in turn had the condemned man put
in chains. No point talking to the prisoner about any of this. He'd just have told lies.
The explorer is not very impressed with this "judicial procedure," but is silent about it.
From what the officer has said, he hopes that maybe the new Commandant isn't a fan
either, and would be up for changing it.
Meanwhile, the officer wants to get back to the important question: explaining how the
machine kills the prisoner. He invites the explorer to examine the Harrow up close.
The Harrow's shape is fitted to the human body, with different parts (each with lots of little
needles) for the torsos, legs, etc. (and a single big spike for the head). When the
machine is "turned on," the Harrow is lowered onto the prisoner's body.
Like the bed, the Harrow vibrates and, with great precision, the needles slowly begin to
carve the prisoner's sentence into his skin. The Harrow is made of glass so the audience
can watch the whole thing.
The Harrow has two kinds of needles needles for cutting, and needles for squirting
water. The water-squirting needles keep the body of the prisoner clean so the inscription
can be seen as it is written on him. The blood generated by all of this is washed off,
flowing down two "channels" in the Bed and into the waste pit near the machine. Now we
know what that pit's for.
All the while, the condemned man has crept up to have a look at the Harrow with them.
He's pulled along the soldier holding his chains, who is on the verge of falling asleep and
not paying attention to anything.
When he notices, the officer is outraged, and throws a dirt clod at the soldier to rouse
him. They both promptly restrain the condemned man and pull him away from the
machine.
The officer takes out a drawing of what will be written on the condemned man's body to
show to the explorer, but the explorer can't make out anything. It looks like one big mess
of loops and lines.
The officer admits it's "not a simple" script, but for something so important they couldn't
have used one anyway. Plus they needed to come up with something that would actually
take twelve hours to write on the body.
Getting more excited, the officer starts up the machine, which begins making a racket.
Over the noise, he continues his explanation.
The process of this "bodily inscription" is involved. After the Harrow has written on the
prisoner's back, the vibrating Bed turns him over so it can write on his front, while the
prepared cotton of the Bed helps stop the bleeding of the back so it can be written on
again.
The inscriptions are traced over several times, and all the while the needles dig deeper
and deeper, moving from skin deep todeep.
Around the sixth hour, the officer says, the prisoner experiences Enlightenment: he
begins to realize that something is being written on his body, and starts to make out what
it is. He continues this effort to discern his sentence until he dies six hours later, which is
supposedly how long it takes to arrive at complete realization.
By that point, the Harrow has "pierced him quite through" (with that nice big spike for the
head going right through the head at this point), and his body is cast into the pit.
Now that we know, in great grisly detail, what's going to happen, it's time to watch it in
the, uh, flesh. The soldier cuts off the condemned man's clothes while the officer turns off
the machine, and the condemned man is put under the harrow.
As he's being strapped in, one of the wrist straps breaks, so the officer substitutes a
chain for it, complaining all the while about how he never gets the spare parts he needs
these days.
Meanwhile, in the explorer's head, a debate is taking place. He normally doesn't like to
intervene in other peoples' affairs, but this stuff is seriously wack and inhumane and
unjust. Is there any way he can intervene with the new Commandant to get rid of this
judicial procedure, he wonders?
The condemned man, upon being gagged, vomits all over the machine.
The officer is disgusted, and takes the opportunity to complain. Why didn't they force the
man to fast so this wouldn't happen, instead stuffing him full of candies? Why couldn't he
have a new felt strap, so the man wouldn't have to take into his mouth the same one
they've been using for three months?
With the condemned man now laid down and the soldier trying to clean off this recent
outpouring, the officer takes the explorer aside to "exchange a few words in confidence."
The officer tells the explorer that surprise! nobody in the colony really likes the
procedure any more. Or at least, no one will admit to it he's sure there are others. But
he's the only outspoken advocate.
With the new Commandant and his women, it's only a matter of time before the plug is
pulled on his beloved execution methods and the apparatus.
Nostalgic again, the officer recalls the good old days of the old Commandant, when
everybody in the colony would watch the execution, and the Commandant would conduct
it himself. The machine was all shiny and didn't make nasty grinding noises. Everybody
would reverently watch the "transfiguration of the sufferer" (his arriving at enlightenment).
Carried away, the officer embraces the explorer and puts his head on his shoulder.
Awkward! It's a smile and nod moment.
The officer pulls himself together. He has a plan he wants to discuss, about how to save
the apparatus.
The Commandant wants the explorer to attend the execution, the officer has realized,
because he's hoping the explorer will be disgusted by the "procedure." Since people
would respect the "famous Western investigator," this would give the Commandant a
perfect excuse to stop the procedure. The officer seems sure the explorer wouldn't
want that.
The explorer's secretly loving this everything's a lot easier than he had thought. But it
wouldn't be very considerate to just have out with it, since the officer's clearly in delicate
shape at the moment, so he tries to find a graceful way out. He tells the officer that he
doesn't think he has that much influence.
The officer won't have any of that. He knows the explorer has lots of influence. And the
officer wants him to use it to defend the machine.
The officer, growing more animated by the minute, now tells the explorer of his great
plan, of how he will save the machine by speaking in favor of it at a crucial moment in the
new Commandant's staff meeting the next day. The new Commandant will make a big
introduction for the explorer, expecting him to denounce the procedure, but then he'll
surprise them all tell them all by revealing what he truly thinks of the machine. The officer
is practically panting with excitement.
After a moment's hesitation, the explorer gives his response: no. He'll have to speak
against the machine, since he feels that's an obligation to his own conscience. The
officer's conviction was touching though, he says in consolation.
Falling silent, the officer starts to gaze at the Designer. He begins smiling and murmuring
to himself, "The time has come."
The explorer doesn't know what this means, but has a bad feeling...
The officer announces that the condemned man is free (not in French, but their native
tongue). Understandably, the condemned man is quite happy about this, and starts
struggling to get out of the machine. The officer has the soldier help him out.
The officer shows the explorer a different drawing of the old Commandant's another
sentence. Just like the first, it's completely unreadable for him. So the officer tells him that
it says: "BE JUST!" and tries to trace it out. The explorer still can't make anything out, but
says he'll believe the officer.
Placing the drawing in the Designer, the officer starts adjusting things in the apparatus.
Meanwhile, the condemned man and the soldier have dressed the condemned man back
up in his now torn and filthy clothes, and are playing around as if something is super
funny.
The officer finishes whatever he was doing and starts to wash his hands in a water
bucket, noticing only too late that it's filthy. He rubs them in the sand instead.
Now the officer starts stripping off his clothes and throwing them into the pit. Last to go is
his sword, which he breaks over his knee. Then he's totally naked.
The explorer now knows what's going to happen and thinks to himself that, if the officer
really cares so much for his procedure, he's doing the right thing.
The condemned man and soldier have been wrestling and laughing this whole time, but,
as you might expect, the sight of the completely naked officer catches their attention. The
condemned man now realizes that what was going to happen to him is now going to
happen to the officer, and he smiles. He really likes that idea.
The officer starts to adjust the machine, and the explorer is amazed at his control over it
and its responsiveness to him. He sets the Harrow in place, turns the bed on, and gags
himself. The condemned man, though, wants the full effect, so he and the soldier strap
the officer in.
The machine seems to turn on by itself once the officer's strapped in. Curiously, the
explorer notes, there's no creaking cog wheel. Everything is quiet.
The condemned man and the soldier are watching eagerly, and snooping around the
machine to absorb the details of what's going on. This really irritates the explorer, who
tells them to go away. The condemned man wants to stay, and doesn't look as if he's
going to budge.
Just as the soldier prepares to go and shoo the pair off, he hears a noise from the
Designer. The lid of the Designer opens, and a cogwheel, as if being forced up by
something further down, pops out and falls to the ground.
One by one, the cog wheels, all of different shapes and sizes, all start to pop out of the
top, coming up and rolling over the side of the Designer. This is great for the condemned
man, who starts to play with them.
The explorer goes to the machine to stand by the officer, feeling "greatly troubled" by the
machine's dysfunction. Upon taking a close look at the Harrow, he sees that something
else has gone very wrong.
The Harrow is not writing on the officer's body, but stabbing it through with the needles,
while the bed, instead of turning him, is throwing his body up against them.
Just as the explorer reaches out his hands (we don't know what he's going to do), the
Harrow impales the officer's body, head and all. No twelve-hour torture-to-the point-of-
enlightenment this time.
Also, it's quite a mess. There's blood everywhere apparently, the water-cleaning
needles didn't work either, so none of it got rinsed off.
Finally, the coup de grace of the machine's mishaps: the apparatus doesn't even drop the
officer into the pit. Instead, having impaled him, it just holds the body hanging over the
pit.
The explorer forces the others to help him try and get the body off the Harrow. As he
does, he sees the officer's face. No enlightenment there: just calm and convinced ("as in
life"), but now with a spike poking through the forehead.
Break in the narrative. Now the explorer is with the soldier and the condemned man on
the outskirts of the colony itself, and the soldier points him to a house, telling him it is "the
teahouse."
Something about the teahouse feels "historic" to the explorer as he enters it.
The soldier has told him that the old Commandant is buried there, since he was not
allowed to be buried in a churchyard. The explorer doesn't believe him.
He doesn't believe him, that is, until the soldier and the condemned man point him to the
grave, which is under a table against a wall. A bunch of dock laborers are there sitting at
nearby tables, and clear a space for him to see the headstone.
He reads the inscription, which prophesies that the old Commandant will "rise again and
lead his adherents from this house to recover the colony. Have faith and wait!" it says.
Everybody around finds this quite funny.
The explorer doesn't, and leaves the teahouse. He walks to the dock, and starts
bargaining with a ferryman to take him back to his steamer.
The condemned man and the soldier come running after him, apparently hoping he'll take
them with him. They arrive too late: the boat's already pushed off from the shore.
It looks like they might try and jump into the boat, but he explorer wards them off with a
piece of rope.
`
THE END.