What to say in Court

When your matter is called walk forward and say nothing:

Court: Who are you? Are you Mr. Doe? What is your name?
John Doe: A better question and the one I would like to answer frst, is What am I doing
here?
I hae this !ie"e o# !a!er here that someone gae me, i !resume be"ause they
think i am the one it is intended #or.
At any rate, this !ie"e o# !a!er seems to require someone named D$%, &$'(
'$WA)D to attend here today.
I hae here in my other hand a *ertif"ate o# +irth ,+*- whi"h a!!ears to be the
sour"e o# the name on this .ummons be"ause the name on the +* is also D$%,
&$'( '$WA)D.
/he one thing we know about this +* is that it is ($/ !ersonal identif"ation
and does not identi#y the one !resenting it, in this "ase, me. 0Reference
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What it is, !ossibly amongst other things, is !roo# that an $rganiCation was
organiCed, it eDists and it has a legal name, D$%, &$'( '$WA)D.
/his $rganiCation is a state "reated $rganiCation and is an Agen"y o# the
state;goernment;'%) MA&%./E /'% F3%%(.
/he !rin"i!als o# that Agen"y are shown at the to! o# the +* as *anada and
$ntario (or your province of birth).
/he authoriCed signatories #or the Agen"y a!!ear to be the )egistrar 5eneral
and the De!uty )egistrar 5eneral and they hae aGDed their signatures hereto.
/here is a seal and )egistration and other numbers on this instrument as well.
I am the registered agent #or this Agen"y, I AM ($/ /'% A5%(*EH
As the registered agent #or this Agen"y o# '%) MA&%./E /'% F3%%(, my main
duty is to #orward seri"e o# !ro"ess, (oti"e or Demand to the !rin"i!als o# the
Agen"y but haing done so in the !ast and the !rin"i!als re#using to
a"knowledge their res!onsibilities, i did not bother sending this .ummons
,seri"e o# !ro"ess- to the !rin"i!als and hae brought it here today #or you to
deal with. Maybe i# you send it oI to them, they might a""e!t and deal with it.
/he !roblem i see here, and another reason i did not #orward this .ummons to
'%) MA&%./E /'% F3%%(, is be"ause this man oer here (pointing to the Crown
Attorney) is an agent o# '%) MA&%./E /'% F3%%( i beliee and he is atta"king
an Agen"y o# '%) MA&%./E /'% F3%%( and in doing so, i beliee he is
attem!ting to damage '%) MA&%./E /'% F3%%(. /hat, i beliee, is "alled 'igh
/reason.
I think you ought to deal with this matter qui"klyH
I# you hae any #uture business with this Agen"y, i suggest you send your
!a!erwork dire"tly to the !rin"i!als be"ause i resign as registered agent #or this
Agen"yH
Court: What do you think the *ourt is going to say?