Northeast Ohio
12
Parents, Families
A joint publication of the Akron and Cleveland chapters
By Ed Kancler,
Akron chapter president
Well, the holiday season is
upon us! After a wonderful
Thanksgiving Day with fam-
ily and friends, my cousin
announced he was going to
do “Black Friday.” He did.
Why he did, we’ll never
know. But, I guess it’s the
spirit of the season. And,
while we all like getting and
giving gifts to each other
and our loved ones, let’s
not forget those in need.
There are so many ways to
help, with donations of food,
clothing, toys and, of
and Friends
course, money for those
less fortunate in these hard
economic times. I encour-
age you to think of those
who are without, for what-
ever reason, and do some-
thing for them this season.
Our annual meeting
and guest lecture in mem-
ory of Bruce Kriete was well
attended. David Horowitz
reminisced about Bruce,
while Bill Libby honored two
of our longest standing
members, Art Kaltenborn
and Bob Menapace. We will
be making a special dona-
tion in their names to
PFLAG National. Sen.
Sherwood Brown was rep-
resented by Aide Max
Blachman. Also in atten-
dance were Sharyl Kriete,
her partner Shannan
Hanna, Sandra Kurt and, of
course, our guest speaker,
Lynne Bowman of Equality
Ohio. Our regular cast of
members and guests were
there as well. Thanks to all
for being there.
Just as I thought, the
cause is somewhat in the
December 2009 Vol. 40 No.
of Lesbians and Gays
Inside this issue:
About Us 2
Events 2-4
Marriage 4-5
Essay 6
doldrums right now, what
with healthcare, the holidays,
and Afghanistan, as well as
such trivial things as party
CHAPTER
crashers at the White House MEETINGS
and Tiger Woods making
headlines for his driving
Akron PFLAG
away from the golf course. Dec. 17
But lo and behold, 7:00 pm
N. Springfield Presbyt.
Cleveland added transgen- 671 N. Canton Rd.
dered to its list of protected
individuals in its non- Cleveland PFLAG
discrimination law and Akron Jan. 12
passed a nondiscrimination 7:30 pm
ordinance. Several of our Trinity Episcopal
members attended the Akron 2230 Euclid Ave,, 44115
City Council meeting (see
David Horowitz’s letter on Alliance PFLAG
page 5. So, the battle still Dec. 22
goes on. 7:00 pm
Union Ave. Methodist
As you hustle and bustle S. Union Ave.
around town this holiday
season, talk to friends about Wooster PFLAG
H.B.176. Write your state Dec. 17
senators. Ask retailers and 7:00 pm
business people you know if Universalist Fellowship
they would lend their support 3186 Burbank Rd.
Please call ahead to confirm.
to our fight for equality.
Every little bit helps! Youngstown PFLAG
Dec. 20
Finally, I wish you, your 3:00 pm
family and friends a great Stonewall Comm. Ctr.
holiday season! 1523 Poland Ave.
Page 2 Northeast Ohio PFLAG

P F L AG
Our Mission
PFLAG promotes the health
and well-being of gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgender
persons, their families and friends
through SUPPORT to cope with DEC “Preacher’s Sons,” a documentary about LGBT adoption, 7:00 p.m.,
an adverse society; EDUCATION West Shore Unitarian Universalist Church, 20401 Hilliard Blvd., Rocky
to enlighten an ill-informed public;
8
River. Refreshments and conversation to follow film. For info call 440-333-
and ADVOCACY to end
discrimination and to secure equal 2255.
civil rights.
PFLAG provides opportunity DEC The LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland Winter Benefit Party, 7:00-
for dialogue about sexual 11:00 p.m., Gray’s Auctioneers, 10717 Detroit Ave., Cleveland. For tickets
11
orientation and gender identity and details visit www.lgcsc.org.
and acts to create a society that is
healthy and respectful of human
diversity. DEC North Coast Men’s Chorus: “Snow Biz”, three shows at
Playhouse Square’s Hanna Theater. For tickets, visit
12-13
www.playhousesquare.com.
AKRON CHAPTER
PO Box 5471 Insight Annual Holiday Dinner, Cleveland’s premier
Akron, OH 44334 DEC LGBT personal, social and business networking organization. Call 216-
14 556-0576 for location and reservations.
W W W . PF LA G A K RO N . O RG

HELPLINE:
330-342-5825
Executive Board
President-Ed Kancler; VP-Chris
Goldthorpe; Secretary-Joe Gardner;
Treasurer-Bob Menapace; At Large-
David Horowitz, Bill & Marie Libby,
Audrey Kancler, Trish Casserly, Joy
Watts, Jim Lake, Sue & Chuck
Magilavy
Committee Chairs
Program-Chris Goldthorpe; Publicity-
Marie Libby; Hospitality-Rada Jenkins;
Library-David Greene; Newsletter-
Audrey Kancler
CLEVELAND CHAPTER
615 Prospect St.
Berea, OH 44017
W W W . PF LA G C LE V E LA N D . O RG
mail@pflagcleveland.org
INFOLINE:
216-556-1701
Executive Board
President-Sharon Groh-Wargo; VP-
Jes Sellers; Secretary-Marianne
Buccini; Treasurer-Art Thomson; At
Large-Alan & Margot Cohen, Craig
Hoffman; Legislative Coordinator-Tom
Roese; Newsletter-Pat Brandt;
Snacks-Gail Smith; Librarian-Gene
Ashley; Webmaster-Quentin Jamieson
Elegies for Angels, Punks and Raging Queens, a benefit for the Com-
munity AIDS Network, 7:30 p.m., United Church of Christ First Grace Arts,
350 S. Portage Path, Akron (at W. Exchange St., adjacent to Coach
House Theater). Monologues and songs inspired by panels on the Names
Project AIDS Memorial Quilt and Edgar Lee Master’s Spoon River Anthol-
ogy. Tickets $10 at www.firstgraceucc.org or 330-212-6709.
Actors after-performance reception at Square Bar in Highland Square
includes light buffet and cash bar. Tickets $10 must be purchased in ad-
vance.
“A Wonderful Holiday,” concert by the Blazing River Freedom Band,
DEC with selections from “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” “The Nightmare Before
16 Christmas,” and others. 8:00 p.m., Franklin Circle Churcjh, 1688 Fulton
Rd., Cleveland. Tickets $5. Call 216-916-2125.
Thru
“The Santaland Diaries,” presented by Cleveland Public
Theater at the James Levin Theater. The story of a 33-year-
DEC
old slacker who takes a job as Macy’s Christmas elf. Show
19
times and ticket info at www.cptonline.org.
DEC Sisters Holiday Wreath Auction, to benefit the
LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland, 2205 St. Clair
20
Ave., Cleveland. Info at www.ohsisters.org.
December 2009
Buying for equality in 2010
Help support businesses that
support us with every purchase you
make.
Buying for Equality is a con-
sumer information guide which rates
businesses on how well they support
LGBT equality within their organiza-
tions and publicly, including banning
discrimination based on sexual orien-
tation and gender identity and provid-
Great gift ideas
Have a friend that is an equality
activist? Or should be one? Here’s a
couple of great gift ideas.
Buy a gift that keeps giving by
getting your friend a membership to
an organization that supports equal-
ity. HRC, Lambda Legal, Victory
Fund, and most other national gay
Tips for a happy holiday
If You’re LGBT:
Plan ahead—Don’t assume you
know how somebody will react. You
may be surprised.
Remember that coming out is a
continuous process. You may have
to come out many times.
Recognize that family members
may need time to accept you.
If you are partnered, discuss in
advance how you will talk about your
relationship and show affection. Be
wary of the desire to shock people.
Make alternative plans for sleep-
ing arrangements in case the situa-
tion becomes difficult at home.
Collect GLBT support resources
to share.
During your visit, reassure family
that you are still the same person
they knew.
Take care of your partner’s
needs and your own.
ing benefits for LGBT employees and
their families, and offering diversity
training.
Despite the economic downturn,
more businesses than ever rated 100
percent on the HRC Foundation’s
Corporate Equality Index, the basis
for the guide. Download or request a
copy online at www.hrc.org.
organizations offer gift memberships.
An HRC membership is as low as
$35.
Love and Pride jewelry
(loveandpride.com) offers a conver-
sation piece bracelet featuring the
number 1138—that’s the number of
rights and responsibilities denied to
If You’re a Family Member:
Contact your nearest PFLAG
chapter for support.
Realize everyone will be a little
nervous, but don’t assume the worst
in people.
Be honest about your feelings
and give yourself time to adjust.
Prepare how you will talk to fam-
ily members. If you are comfortable,
they will more likely be too.
Page 3
gay couples. $59
It also has a titanium Matthew
Shepard pendant featuring the
words, “Erase Hate” and
“Understanding, Compassion, Ac-
ceptance.” Also $59, with proceeds
going to the Matthew Shepard Foun-
dation.
Philanthropia:
A luncheon for
community
After the tragedy of 9/11, New
York City absorbed such a large por-
tion of charitable donations from
around the country, that many local
nonprofits struggled to reach their
own goals. In response, Executive
Caterers rededicated its December
Corporate Club luncheon to the sup-
port of local charities, especially
smaller organizations without sub-
stantial resources of their own.
The first “Philanthropia” saw 200
guests and raised $9,000. IN 2007 it
had over 1,200 guests and raised
more than $128,000.
This year Cleveland PFLAG
filled two tables at this event—thanks
to all who attended.
Page 4
GLMA praises AMA policy on gay marriage
The Gay and Lesbian Medical
Association (GLMA) praised the
American Medical Association’s
(AMA’s) adoption of a policy declar-
ing that gay marriage bans contribute
to health disparities for gay couples
and their children.
“We hope the newly adopted
policy will inform future debates
about expanding the right to mar-
riage to gay and lesbian couples,”
said GLMA Education and Policy
Director James Beaudreau. “The
science on this issue is clear: the
health and well-being of gay couples
and their families is directly affected
by the right to marry.”
As part of the newly adopted
policy, the AMA “supports measures
providing same-sex households with
the same rights and privileges to
health care, health insurance, and
survivor benefits, as afforded oppo-
site-sex households.”
A 2008 report published by
GLMA, Same Sex Marriage and
Health, documented evidence about
the effects of same-sex marriage
Gay marriage defeated in New York
Gay marriage in the liberal-
leaning Northeast lost another signifi-
cant battle this month.
On December 2 the New York
state legislature, after a long delay,
voted against marriage equality 24-
38. No Republicans voted for the
measure. At the ballot box in Novem-
ber, Maine voters overturned a gay
marriage law before it could take
effect. According to 365Gay.com, the
New York defeat makes it likely that
the New Jersey state legislature will
either not vote or will also vote in the
negative.
According to the Associated
Press (AP), New York is viewed as
bans on the LGBT community. The
report noted that:
✍ Access to health insurance
through a spouse is an important
component of obtaining quality
healthcare;
✍ Research indicates that being
married can contribute to overall
health and longevity;
relatively gay-friendly. Court rulings,
including one from the state’s highest
court just recently, have found that
gay couples married outside New
York are entitled to some govern-
ment benefits. New Jersey offers the
legal rights afforded to married cou-
ples but calls them civil unions. Law-
makers in Vermont and New Hamp-
shire adopted gay marriage bills this
year.
“In any civil rights struggle, there
are going to be periods of creeping
and periods of leaping,” Evan Wolf-
son, executive director of Freedom to
Marry, told the AP. The most signifi-
cant leap this decade was in 2003
Northeast Ohio PFLAG
✍ Hospital visitation and decision
making rights conferred by mar-
riage are important to the quality
of care; and
✍ Children of LGBT parents benefit
when their families are respected
and accorded legal protections.
“We know that denying lesbians
and gay men the opportunity to
marry denies them multiple benefits
of marriage that support relationships
and promote health. As an act of
discrimination, it compounds stigma
against LGBT people that has been
linked to psychological distress, such
as anxiety and depression.”
The AMA also adopted policies
requesting a repeal of the U.S. mili-
tary’s ‘don’t ask, don’t-tell’ law. The
AMA said ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ cre-
ates an ethical dilemma for LGBT
service members and the healthcare
providers who treat them.
GLMA is the world’s largest as-
sociation of gay, lesbian, bisexual
and transgender (LGBT) healthcare
professionals.
when the Massachusetts Supreme
Court ruled that gay couples had the
right to marry. Since then, twenty-
seven states have amended their
constitutions to legally limit marriage
to one man and one woman.
December 2009
Equality Ohio names new director
The Equality
Ohio Board of Di-
rectors has an-
nounced Sue Do-
erfer as the organi-
zation’s new ex-
ecutive director.
Doerfer was cho-
sen following an
extensive national search. She
comes to Equality Ohio after serving
five years as Executive Director of
the Cleveland LGBT Center. Her
experience and involvement with the
work of Equality Ohio goes back to
the organization’s creation in 2005
when she was a founding member.
"We are thrilled to have Sue
joining Equality Ohio as our second
executive director," said Equality
Ohio Education Fund Board Presi-
dent Jeff Smith. "Sue brings commit-
ment, community awareness, bridge
building, and political savvy to her
life's work as an activist. Her state-
wide presence and track record of
success will allow her to hit the
ground running."
Doerfer’s achievements at the
Cleveland LGBT Center included the
development of services for home-
less youth in Cuyahoga County, an
Support the Respect for Marriage Act
Freedom to Marry is asking your
support for the federal Respect for
Marriage Act.
The Respect for Marriage Act
was introduced in Congress in Sep-
tember 2009 to end that discrimina-
tion and ensure that marriages that
are valid in the state where they are
entered into are respected under
federal law.
The Respect for Marriage Act
will repeal the 1996 Defense of Mar-
riage Act (DOMA), which singles out
legally married same-sex couples for
increase of the Center’s budget by
30 percent, and the development of
an LGBT-focused community health
service center. Over the past five
years, Doerfer collaborated with
Cleveland City Council and other
community leaders to develop the
Domestic Partnership Registry, add
gender identity to legal nondiscrimi-
nation protections, and create Ohio’s
first city-sponsored LGBT Heritage
Day.
Prior to her work with the Cleve-
land LGBT Center, Doerfer served
as the Clinical Director of Services
for the AIDS Taskforce of Greater
Cleveland and as Director of Social
Services for Broadway House for
Continuing Care in Newark, NJ. Do-
erfer holds degrees in psychology/
sociology and social work. Her vol-
unteer work includes longtime in-
volvement with Cleveland Stonewall
Democrats and Cleveland Pride.
“I am honored to have been se-
lected to lead Equality Ohio as the
new executive director,” said Doer-
fer. “It is exciting for me to join such
a strong and well-respected organi-
zation and I look forward to shaping
its future with my ideas, leadership,
energy and passion for LGBT equal-
unequal treatment under federal law.
These valid, state-issued marriages
are now selectively denied more than
1,000 federal protections and re-
sponsibilities—including Social Secu-
rity and immigration benefits—that
otherwise apply to married couples.
Tell your friends, family, and
Congressional representatives to
support the Respect for Marriage
Act.
Freedom to Marry is a gay and
non-gay partnership working to win
marriage equality nationwide.
Page 5
Akron Council
approves ordinance
By David M. Horowitz
Toby and I attended the Akron
City Council meeting where we
were joined by six members of
PFLAG Akron. The Council voted
11-2 to put into place an anti-
discrimination ordinance that in-
cludes sexual orientation and gen-
der identity.
The only negative was the ex-
emption for religious institutions
and groups that contract with the
city to provide workers for youth
under the age of 18. Those groups
must adhere to the provisions of
sexual orientation but not gender
identity. While that was upsetting, it
is a very narrow sub-group and
simply means that gender identity
would not be included in their con-
tracts. We were not overjoyed, but
we got most of what we felt was
important, and for that I am grate-
ful to a vast majority of council and
the tremendous support of our
mayor.
Mayor Plusquellic spoke elo-
quently and credited PFLAG for his
understanding of LGBT equal-
ity. All in all, it was a good night.
“In Quotes”
“Our church and society can
fully celebrate this blessing [of
marriage] only when all those who
are called to marriage can indeed
marry, when couples are able to
exercise their conscience to make
moral decisions about their lives,
and when those who are remarried
are still welcomed at the table.”
—Pastoral letter from several organizations
in the Catholic Church to the United States
Conference of Catholic Bishops,
held in November.
Page 6
National Equality March sets new milestones
While the National Equality
March that took place in October was
nothing novel to the gay community,
the historic point in time at which it
took place is, in fact, unique. A
whole new generation of young
GLBT activists, who have been
raised in a more tolerant climate with
positive GLBT images in popular
culture, TV, music and film, gave this
fifth historic march a whole new twist.
These “millenniums” as I heard
them referred to throughout the
weekend, feel a sense of entitlement,
equality and freedom not experi-
enced in the young since the hippy
days of flower power. This extremely
youthful, energetic and technically
sophisticated generation doesn’t see
the gay civil rights struggle and is-
sues framed in the same way as the
generations that preceded them.
Many of them can’t comprehend why
people ten to twenty years their sen-
ior have a problem with equal civil
rights for the GLBT community. This
generation has many friends and
acquaintances who are gay, lesbian,
bisexual or transgendered and loves
and respects them with the same
dignity as their heterosexual counter-
parts.
You al ways have a home at PFLAG!
By Vince Morvatz
Most published reports of this
year’s march put attendees between
200,000-300,000. The throngs cover-
ing the grounds on the west side of
the Capitol Building, where presiden-
tial inaugurations are normally held,
were an impressive and awe-
inspiring site even for seasoned, die-
hard activists.
The chants along the parade
route were new and innovative.
Many were so articulate and literal
that I had to listen several times to
the gist of them. Hundred of hand-
made signs spoke to the struggle for
equality, like “Separation of Church
and Hate,” “Keep Your Hate out of
My State” and “Marriage is a Basic
Civil Right.”
Also impressive were the large
numbers of unified marching groups.
Several of the larger groups were
clad in matching red shirts for
“Marriage Equality” and “Immigration
Equality.” The latter group stretched
40 to 50 people across the street and
swept past me at least 15 or 20 rows
deep.
Another group that filled several
Northeast Ohio PFLAG
city blocks was a
rainbow contingent
of Marriage Equal-
ity groups from
across the U.S.
Several hundred
people dressed in
consecutive colors
of the gay commu-
nity rainbow flag,
carrying matching
umbrellas over-
head, created a
two- to three-block
long rainbow flag
on the streets of
DC.
The speakers at the rally at the
base of the Capitol Building were
powerful and moving: Cleve Jones,
Judy Shepard, military personnel and
Lady Gaga (about whom some older
folks simply said, “Lady Who?”).
Our bus ride was organized by
the Akron AIDS Collaborative, and
our diversity of young and old, gay
and straight, black and white was
tremendously refreshing. Among the
50+ passengers were students from
Kent State, the University of Akron,
Cleveland State University and even
Notre Dame College in Cleveland
Heights. On the ride back it was in-
teresting to watch many of them tex-
ting their friends back home about
what they had seen, while at the
same time buzzing on their cell
phones about their most recent ad-
venture. This young, exuberant gen-
eration gives this seasoned activist
optimistic hope.
I hope, too, that perhaps soon
these rallies to clamor for GLBT
equality might become of thing of the
past, with full civil rights and accep-
tance finally achieved, God willing!