Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Ass+

Fi ght - Everyt hi ng You Ever Want ed t o Know About Ass-Ki cki ng Pa ge 1 of 1
everything you ever wanted to know about ass-kicking but were afraid
youd get your ass kicked for asking
EUE!E "# $%&'!"%!
Fi ght - Everyt hi ng You Ever Want ed t o Know About Ass-Ki cki ng Pa ge 1 of 1
()E $ EA* + (% (A**Y ,' ) (Y
(A&*E %F F$''! -%!(E!("
'!($ %. U-( '%!
Fighting/ Why !ot0
%! E W)A( ()E )E** A$ E Y%U *%%K'! A(0 PA$( 1
(W% *E (" E( '( %!
()$ EE FA$ E A"( F')('! F%$ FU! A!. P$%F'(
F%U$ 1 A'*)%U"E $%-K
F' 2E ( )E$E" !%()'! 3U'(E * 'KE &$EAK'! A!%()E$ ,A!" 1AW
"'4 -U$&"5 -A$ .%%$" + Y%U
"E2 E! ( )E $EA* "A. A!. WEEPY PA$( %F %U$ "(%$Y
E' )( ( )E %!*Y F')( "P%$( ,E!('%!E. '! ()E &'&* E
!'!E '5 "PA$(A-U"6
(E! "% Y%U$ EA$" &EE ! &'( (E! &Y ,'KE ( Y"%! 7
E*E2E ! "% Y%U2E &EE ! &EA(E! UP 7 %$5 W)A( ()E )E* * A$E Y%U *%%K'! A(0
PA$( 8
(WE*2 E "% Y%U$E K!%-KE . %U( / %P('%!" (% -%!"'.E$
() '$( EE! 9' K'**E. A ,A!:
F% U$( EE! '5 "%--E$ )%%*'A!6
F'F (EE! )%*'.AY %! '-E5 %$5 W)A((% .% W)E! -%!F$%!( E.
&Y A! A!$Y -A!A.'A! W'() A "( '-K
"'4 (EE! ' "(%%P (% -%!3UE$
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge 1 of
1;
' ! ($% .U-('% !
F')('!/ W)Y !%(0
(heres the s<astic f=urry of hands and the s>e== that a=ways ends u< s>e==ing =ike chicken sou<
gone bad ?fear@# (heres the >u>b=e and the groan and eventua==y the s=i< into recogniAed ro=es ?doer
and done to@# And fina==y5 if everything works right5 theres the re>inder that we are far worseBbetter
than the ani>a=s we own as <ets and unso<histicated chatte=#
What we are5 though5 is this/ We are fighters#
And the scenario is re<eated again and again# 't wheed=es its way into boardroo> s and
bedroo>s 5 this not so <articu=ar=y > a=e obsession with the eterna=5 unasked 9-an ' take hi> 0:
Which cou=d be eCtended to 9-an ' take it0: %r better yet5 9-an '0: With a== a<o=ogies due to "a> >y
.avis 1r# ?a=so a student5 des<ite his di>inutive fra>e5 of the fistic arts@5 the answer is a=ways the sa>e/
9Yes ' can#: Even when you cant#
,y na>e is Eugene# ?)i5 Eugene#@ And '> a fightaho=ic#
9)ey5 '> going to need >y seat back#: ( he s<eaker was ( odd )ester5 for>er =ongti>e editor
of ra<<=ing >agaAine5 once editor of &odyguard5 and <robab=y s oon-to-be editor of an as-yet-
unna>ed >ag# ?)eres a scoo</
$eady8$u>b=eDyou didnt hear it here first@# )es EF;G5 8;H <ounds# ( he scene
was ringside at the very firs t King of the -age co> <etition5 -a=ifornias own <aean to > e=# ( he
year was 1IIJ#
(his was the res<onse/ 9Youre a=so going to need to breathe#: ( he s<eaker was $ickson racie5 one
of the best fighters on the face of this entire <=anet# Probab=y any other <=anet you can think of# And
there it is again5 the skin torn off a== of our Kuiet and civi= discourse5 c ivi==y de=ivered but definitive in
its ass ertion to your unasked Kuestion/ 9!o# !o5 you cant# !ot today# ,aybe not ever ?take > e5 that
is@#:
%r better yet5 Lust si> <=y5 9Fuck no#:
&ecause even though hes got two ar> s and two =egs and a head Lust =ike you5 theres no chance# !one#
)ester a<o=ogiAed5 grabbed his bag5 and found a s eat s o> ewhere e=s e# * aughing5 he added5
9We== ' did need to breathe#:
We a== need to breathe# "o>e rea=iAe that sooner5 so>e =ater# &ut of the ones who rea=iAe it5 there are
thos e whose rea=iAation of it does nothing to actua==y he=<
1;
the> # -ontinue breathing5 that is#
't started for > e with another not-so-si><=e5 s i> <=e Kues tion/ 9What the fuck are you =ooking at0:
'ts !ew York -ity# ( he -=ashs $ ude &oy is =etting out of a >idnight s howing in &ay $idge# ( hree
cuginesDthink 'ta=ian cho=osD are fighting with three >en by a gy<s y cab# (wo of the 'ta=ians have
wrenches# %ne5 curious=y enough5 in an ACis =eve= of think-tank thinking5 has a er>an s he<herd# '
a> on the other s ide of the street# -rossed the s treet to get c=oser5 natch5 Lust as one of the be-
wrenched cuginos took out the back window of the cab5 which went skidding off into a &rook=yn night5
=eaving thre e very angry > en with no reasonab=e reso=ution to whatever s ituation was at hand#
9What the fuck are you =ooking at0:
't was ti>es =ike thes e that were > eant for words =ike fracas5 >e=ee5 and donnybrook# &roken
bott=es5 broken noses 5 broken Laws ensue5 and at the end of it ' ended u< in an e>ergency roo>
with >y =eft =ower ear=obe dang=ing and carti=age torn inside >y ear# (o<ogra<hica= >a<s of the
evenings fun had s<read out a== over >y suit in b=oodied rivu=ets# ' c=eared > y throat and waited for
the overweight and angry nurse to render as sistance becaus e5 a fter a==5 this was an E ,E$E!-Y#
9Yeah5 yeah5 theyre a== e>ergencies 5: she said# And aside fro> the guy who wa=ked in s >oking a
cigarette to announce that he had been shot ?and he had5 right in the thigh@5 we a== had to sit and <onder
the high=y <onderab=e foo=ishness of our wayward ways #
't was a > editation that inevitab=y carried > e a=ong with it back to the craw= s <ace at ho> e5 where
Din > y headD ' had a=ready retrieved > y )i-"tandard <-action shotgun# ECce<t5 you see5
its not so easy to stro== through the kitchen with a < and a b=oody suit when youre seventeen
in a househo=d where <eo<=e give even the re>otest fuck about you# &ack at the hos <ita=5 ' got s
titches and a > editation that s tuck# 'f ' was going to do this shit5 ' > ight as we== =earn to do it right#
9(his is ca==ed the rear naked choke5: said ,att Furey#
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge M of
1;
' was s tanding at AKA KickboCing in "an 1ose5 -a=ifornia# !ow its the ho>e of a revo=ving grou< of
at =east eight great fighters of significant worthN na> es you== never even knowD we==5 a== right5 if you
>ust know5 .ave -a> ari==o5 &ob "outhworth ?Frank "ha>rock us ed to work out there@5 Phi=
&aroni5 1osh ( ho> son5 Pau= &uente==o5 ,ike "wick5 ,ike Ky=e5 and owner 1 avier ,endeA# &ut
back in 1III5 it was where !-AA cha> <ion wres t=er ,att Furey reigned# ( hough now wide=y
derided by thos e in the know as s ort of a Kuasi-&i==y &=anks eCercis e enthus ias t5 Furey was ?and is@
the rea= dea =# 'd seen his -har=es At=as - es Kue ad in so> e week=y rag5 and where it said5 9Want (o
Fight0: ' thought5 Yeahhhh# And so after eight years of ken<o karate ?9You >ight as we== have been s
tudying inter<retive dance:@5 a year of >uay thai5 and a > onth of thinking about how another racie
?$oyce this ti> e@ had run through the co> <etition in the first bow of whats now ca==ed >iCed >a
rtia = arts5 no-ho=ds -barred or sub> is sion fighting5 ' wanted to =earn the rear naked choke# ' > ean5
racie won using this s e=fsa> e chokeD ' had to =earn it#
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge ; of
1;
&ut what do you do when they get you in one of these0
9(hats =ike asking5 OWhat do you do after youve been knocked out0: s aid
Furey#
.rea> 0
!o# !ot yet# &ut to he== with this brain-twisting ,r# ,iyagi cra<# Patience is not a virtue '> given
over to5 and s o off with the Eastern a<horis> s5 barroo> wisdo>s 5 andD how about Lust this/ fie=d-
testing# "crew the books5 bring on the =eft hooks# What say we bounce0
&ounce0
&ounce# !ot the intransitive s =ang verb but5 you know5 > ore Patrick "wayAe- in-$ oad )ous e
bounce# 't see>ed s o s ee>=y5 what with >e now <ushing the s ca=es at 8EH <ounds of ani>a= under
>y skin5 that5 of course5 ' shou=d end u< here/ here being f=oating raves5 stri<<er s ecurity scenes
with >e wie=ding ,ag=ites and e scorting >ud wrest=ers a>idst and be twiCt fucking bache=or <arties
fu== of drunken hockey <=ayers5 or "outh & ay c=ubs where those who ca> e to fuck but didnt wou=d
stay to fight#
't was =ike a drea> # You cou=d even say it was drea> esKue# And ' was (he &ouncer With ( he
roovy .e>eanor# A=so known as (he -hoker# A=so known as ,r# -=ean# And des <ite being in Fight
)eaven5 ' was dour# .ai=y# &ecause5 you s ee5 co> >erce had su==ied the waters # ' =iked to fight but '
was being <aid to work#
And work ' did#
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge H of
1;
Witness/ )e asks her to dance5 s he says no after giving hi> the =oser s can5 and he5 >aybe not so
<redictab=y5 =oses it# Punches her down to the f=oor# 'n =ife '> Kuite sure things wi== never get better
than this for this > an# ' throw hi> and his brother out of a doub=e door5 one of which is =ocked# (hey
hur= invective fro> beyond the safety thres ho=d5 the doorLa>b of Lustice#
9Fuck you5 fuck you5 fuck you5 fuck you#: 9Anything e=se0:
9Yeah5 fuck you#:
And that was it# Five fuck-yous is one fuck-you over >y fuck-you =i> it# ' s te< across the doorLa> b#
)is friend5 whos been hiding behind the c=osed door5 <unches > e in the face and as ' turn to get
hi> 5 Fuck You ,an <unches >e in the face# *ike so>e Po<eye cartoon >y head swive=s with each hit
unti= ' figure out that first things >ust co> e first# "o ' choke outD rear naked choke outDFuck You
,an whi=e his friend works on >y he ad fro> behind# (hen ' turn to hi> and choke hi> out5 and the
<o=ice show u< with guns drawn and hau= the> away#
'nvigorate d0 !ot eCact=y# & ecaus e though the fight is Loy enough on its own5 it wasnt enough# ' had
to write a re<ort for the >anager des cribing what ha<<ened#
9What ha<<ened is >y Law hurts and ' shou=d <robab=y get s o> e fucking 4- rays#:
9Whats going to ha<<en is that you== finish writing that re<ort and then go chew s o> e fucking gu>
because we cant afford 4-rays#:
!ow the water was >uddied as >uddied cou=d be# ,y Law was fine but ' was <issed off# And the neCt
night5 as ' s tood between (he (wo uys and ( he (hree uys a<<arent=y s chedu=ed to fight (he (wo
uys 5 ' started to wonder what it was a== about5 A=fie# And right about that ti>e there was a =oo<ing
overhand fro> ( he (hree uys and ' knew what it was about# 't wasnt about s to<<ing fights# ' > ean
' wasnt here for that# (hatd be =ike a hooker working a ,or>on > inistry in a > assage <ar=or# ' was
here to fight# "<ecifica==y5 to <rotect >y sti==-throbbing Law fro> a== sorts of c hewing-gu> -re=ated
),% concerns #
"o ' tra<<ed the s=o<<i=y de=ivered <unch and began <unching the <uncher in the > outh5 a=ways the
offending >outh5 the s avage Law# ' was grabbed by guy nu>ber two of (he (hree uys5 and '
swive=ed >y ar> under his ar> and into a hi< throw that =anded hi> on the ground5 where ' s to> <e d
and sto> <ed unti= guy nu>ber three tried to take > e down# ' grabbed his hair and began working an
anvi= chorus of his head aga inst the >arb=e bar against the rising chorus of s crea> s and s
houts5 now a== in unis on 7
9EUE!E5 "(%P6 "( %P6 EUE!E5 "(%P6 7:
(hrough the > is t of a== of the b=ood =usting5 ' did note that they were a== ca==ing >y na>e# -urious#
&ut not near=y so curious as the> firing > e# For fighting0 )ahahahaha# Fuck the> #
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge E of
1;
(here are so>e <=aces that know fighting5 and so fro> Furey ' went to ,arcus 2inicius at &ever=y
)i==s 1iu-1itsu# ' drove by it =aughing# (hat was before ' knew# 't sort of see> ed =ike (ough uy .ay
"<a# &ever=y )i==s 1iu-1itsu# ECce<t it rea==y was# 2inicius was training cats na> ed 1udo ,ark5 and
training with &as $utten5 .arre= ho=ar5 , ark Kerr5 and 2in .ies e=5 for chrissakes# 't was a whos
who of ass kickage# (he crP>e de =a concus sion crP> e# uys who5 given the ,ike ( ys on archety<e
of big and bur=y5 are not any kind of a guy whod register on your s treet radar as giving off any kind of
a natures warning signa=D un=ess you count cau=if=ower ears 5 or <reeCisting subdura= he> ato> as5
or cuts around the eye# (he > ost dangerous > en5 > an to >an5 in *os Ange=es # Whod a thunk it0
"unk in off $obertson and not even gifted with anything >ore than a ha=f nu>berDI18 Q "outh
$obertsonDit =ooked >uch =ess =ike a s tri<->a== se=f- defens e dea= and > uch >ore =ike a <=ace
where if you didnt =ike to5 want to5 need to fight5 we==5 you cou=d Lus t get the fuck out# A== <ea green
outs ide and wa==s of b=ue <ads inside5 it reca==ed nothing for > e if not !ew Yorks =easons5 or one
of those <=aces in 1ohn )ustons Fat -ity# &ut in the ear=y afternoon of a -a=ifornia white
Wednesday5 it was where ' was going to be if being here > eant 'd get to fight those guys who fought
here#
9What are you doing0: 2inicius ca==e d >e aside # 9Were Lust tr aining now# !ot
fighting# .ont be =ike 1oe - har=es#:
(here was a difference5 it see> ed# ( raining is what you do when youre getting ready to fight#
Fighting was what ' was doing# ' had =earned it fro> Furey# And Furey had =earned it fro> Kar= otch5
one of the o=d-ti>e greats whose steady s tock-in-trade was a sort of studied and s erious sa dis> s o
signific ant that at one ti>e they had ca==ed that sty=e of wrest=ing5 9ri<<ing#: And 1oe -har=es
had =earned it fro> 1 udo ene *e&e== ?s ee 9otch5 *e&e==5 ab=e/ ( he )o=y ( roika of ( rue (ough5:
in cha<ter J@ and it was Lust a different way of being done and it was a way that guaranteed that if you
=earned anything5 youd =earned it because you were a tough s onuvabitch#
And if you didnt =earn5 youd go ho>e hurt#
'n footba== itd have been ca==ed 9unnecess ary roughnes s5: but there see> ed to be so>ething <retty
nece ssary about it# 'd stay with 2inicius5 barring he== or high water5 because hes a technicians
technician5 but 'd never forget for a >inute the taste in the > outh of that certain savagery5 hinted
at in c=asses 5 aggressive=y s uggested in the streets # You see5 thats rea==y why ' was there5 becaus e
thats what it was that got > e# "ure5 ' cou=d train5 and ' did5 but ' rea==y wanted to fight# !ot s <ort-
fight either ?which is about as c=ose as you can get@5 but fight# !ot U=ti> ate Fight5 but fight# $e=iving
=ike we do5 <erha<s5 the burn of firs t =oves 5 this =ove of the fight# ' wanted to train but ' had to fight#
Enter %Cbow#
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge R of
1;
-a== it a <ro-s ocia= u>bre==a for antisocia= activity# -a== it a band# -a== it a couch whereby the id airs
itse=f out and <eo<=e5 freKuent=y fans 5 co> e to enLoy > usic# -a== it a night=y eCcus eBinvitation to be
taken s erious =y when you as k/ 9-an ' take hi>0: And5 =es t confusion su==y the waters here5 this has
>uch =es s to do with the (2-coach tro<e of winning and > uch >ore to do with Lus t fighting# Win or
=os e5 ' =ove it Lus t the sa>e#
)o=d on# (hats a =ie# ' =ike winning > uch >ore5 but ' =ike fighting enough to risk the =osing because in
the end its the fighting that Lustifies itse=f and not the winning or the =os ing# -a== it S en and the Art of
Kick Ass ertain>ent#
And they =ined u< in =ong =ines/ ice throwers 5 heck=ers5 critics5 guys hiding by back doors5 wo>en
trying to c=ub > e with beer bott=es5 s toner rock dudes with knives 5 wanting to go a== Wide Wor=d of
!ature on >e and try their 9=uck#:
And whats > ore5 s o> ething e=s e ha<<ened on the other end of bus iness # ir=s whose boyfrie nds
had beaten the> 5 do> inatriCes who needed an edge on an increas ing=y de> anding c=iente=e5 as
we== as art rockers and ta ttoois ts wi==ing to trade for tradeD twenty-four-hour <arty <eo<=e started
co> ing to >e wanting s o> e get-back5 or at the very =east to =earn how to ?s ee cha<ter 1M5 9' Ki==ed
a ,an:@# And add to that the fact that ' had s tarted >aking wor=ds co==ide5 writing about fighting <ros
so that ' cou=d fight <ros5 who ine vitab=y kicked >y ass because they ar e <rosD .anie= racie5
-es ar racie5 Frank "ha>rock5 $ico -hia<<are==i out in $edondoD and you have a <rescri<tive for
the cyc=ic a= nature of =ife#
(hey5 the > ore ski==ed5 beat >e5 the =ess s ki==ed5 s avage=y# '5 in turn5 wou=d beat those =es s ski==ed
savage=y# With a s oundtrack of unho=y sKua== throbbing in c=ubs in er>any5 E ng=and5 or the
!ether=ands5 or standing on the sidewa=k c=ub-s ide in ,aine# !ow5 ' dont > ean to di> inish
%Cbows art5 and > ake no >istake about it5 when 2ice >agaAine ca==ed us 9the best art rock band in
the wor=d5: they knew whereof they s <oke5 but ' do >ea n to underscore the sy> biotic arrange>ent
we have when5 rea=istica==y s<eaking5 critica= acco=ades are not e nough# Wed rather <=ay a s et than
fight one5 but in the end its a=>ost the s a>e thing#
(hen this fro> the record =abe=/ 9We thought you >ight =ike this #: 't wa s5 or wou=d have been5 had it
been handwritten5 a scribb=ed e->ai= induce>ent to Fight -=ub# $u=e !u> ber %ne of Fight -=ub/ .o
not ta=k about Fight -=ub# &ut here it was# You had to ca== a nu>ber5 and go to an addres s5 and then
buAA a buAAer5 and > eet a > an na> ed )ank before >oving off to a cranky o=d e=evator and into a
roo> neCt to an incinerator with about twe nty othe r dudes#
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge J of
1;
Perfect#
(here are no referees here# !othing but graying concrete5 > en who dont =ook at each other eCce<t in
side=ong g=ances of a<<rais a=5 and heat <i<es that rais e the te> <erature5 <re-fight5 to a standing
twenty degrees hotter than outs ide# .id ' > ention the s> e== of garbage that wafted through the
<=ace0 (his one was in "an Francisco5 but its a > ovab=e feast5 and it trave=s u< and down the West
-oast and it bows in 2enice5 "an 1ose5 out in "an Fernando for chrissakes# Pancras e guys fro> )ong
Kong# &oCers co> ing in fro> "eatt=e# "tretching and ta<ing their fists# '> stretching and ta<ing >
y fists# And after doing a== of these things ' find > yse=f in a tight ring# 'ts tight to force faster action#
(ight to discourage touris ts# '> faced off a gainst a guy with a .avid !iven > us tache# )es about
81H ?to >y now sve=te5 we==-cardiod and non-s teroided 81T@# ' kick his =egs with ,uay ( hai kicks
and he backs u< and '> back in &rook=yn again thinking5 9%h yeah# ' -A!
7 : ' bob# ' weave# ' dro< >y right hand#
' wake u< on the > at#
)e was a s outh<aw# )e was a=so -hris "anford5 one of the stars of "<ike ( 2s not-=ong-gone U=ti>ate
Fighter s how and a -esar racie <rotUgU ?see cha<ter 1E5 9' "too< to -onKuer:@# Funny thing about
getting knocked out/ it stea=s your ti>e away# And the ten seconds you were down there whi=e fee=ing
=ike a b=ink <aradoCica==y a=so have you fee=ing =ong-na< refres hed and saying s hit =ike5 9' tri<<ed#:
&ut >o> ents =ike this were >ade for ,e> oreC5 and instant re<=ay had shown > e taking a s o=id one
and fa==ing to the >at# ' shrugged5 got the fuck off the > at5 and knew so> ething then that kee<s >e
co>ing back to this base> ent5 other base> ents 5 and fights that ' win or fights that ' =ose5 and thats/
%ur essence is divine5 we are infinite5 and ' a> going to try to kick your fucking ass#
9You had the weirdest =ight around you# And this s> i=e on your face5: >y
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge I of
1;
>o> s aid# ' was se venteen# You see5 so> e kids > o> s were drudges 5 F=orence )enderson >artyrs
of >other=y attentions# ,ine5 a== .iana $os s coo=5 was s te<<ing between >e and three bouncers
at (he $itA5 !ew York -ity5 !ew York5 > inutes before a Ki==ing 1 oke s how and > inutes before '
was going to be tossed bodi=y down a f=ight of >arb=e s tairs# ( he fight had been short and set u<5 and
with > y ar> s <inioned behind > e and three of the> 5 it was sound=y5 sKuare=y5 nay5 hea=thi=y one for
the * co=u> n# 9You see> ed rea==y very5 very content# 't was strange#:
.o te==#
&' '$ '" ) 1% E .%!!E**Y 5 ,Y ")$'!K5 A"K" A FEW 3UE"('%!"'! A
() '! *Y2E' *E. A((E, P( A ( "EE' ! ' F )E" %( () E "(% !E" (% (A KE ,E %!
We know you =ike to fight5 but why0
"hort answer0 'ts eC<ressive=y honest# (heres no rea= eKuivocation in an e=bow to the Law5 no
<ussyfooting about the gray shadings of > eaning inherent in civi=iAed and <ower-shie=ded
discours e# And its a <otent tie to our i>> ediate and ever-<res ent ani> a=# !ow5 words are a== we==
and good5 and =ike the ,eat Pu<<ets s ay5 9We==5 who needs action: when you got words5 but in a =and
where words have ceased having > eaning5 this wi== have to do# !ice=y# (he <rob=e> here is 5 =arge=y5
this has beco> e the >ode= for our nationa= discourse# 'n other words 5 fighting has beco>e trendy# !ot
the stuff in the ring5 which ' wi== =ove no >atter what5 but the idea that words are an e>barrass> ent
used on=y by thos e who do not know how5 cant5 or are afraid to fight# $e>e> ber5 ' choose to fight
and ' do s o not because ' have no other choice but because its freKuent=y5 in the wide and rainbowed
<a=ette of <ersona= eC<ressions5 the eC<ression that <eo<=e see> to > ost want to see#
"o >y reasons for wanting to fight are/
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1T of
1;
Part F =or ence !ightinga=e/ 'ts not unusua= for > e to be thanked by the beaten# 'f not right away5 then
=ater# '> not a bu==y and on=y fight as a =ast recourse5 and if its s o> e ass c=own whos been <us hing
and <us hing5 we==5 hes thanking >e for teaching hi> a =es son as gent=y as a hardhead =ike hi> is
=ike=y to notice#
Part (ed & undy/ 2ast we==s<rings of rage5 the sources of which go back to ear=y-=ife Freudian shit
having everything to do with every sing=e eCistentia = and <sychoseCua= issue you can ever i> agine#
!ot to <o=iticiAe > y way around this 5 but 've got a very5 u>5 very co> <=icated re=ations hi< with
other hu>an beings #
Part Sorba the reek/ ' =ike to fight#
&ut what about the >ora= and =ega= re<ercussions0
'f you are a reactive fighter5 not a bu==y5 the =aw affords you a good dea= of =atitude# ' > ean5 under the
rubric of defending yours e=f you can get away with > urder# *itera==y# A=s o5 being we== dres sed5
sober5 and articu=ate can be a great s aving grace and a =icense for the afore> entioned >urder# ' was at
this <arty5 trying to >ake >y way through the crowd to get out# ( he <o=ice were breaking things u<# A
biker stood in >y way# ' s aid5 9ECcuse >e#: )e be=ched# ' wa=ked around to the =eft# )e ste<<ed in
front of > e# ' wa=ked to the right# )e wa=ked to the right# ' =ooked at hi> and said5 9'> going to give
you unti= the count of three to get the fuck out of >y way# %ne 7 two 7 : ?A=ways go %! the nu>
ber three5 <=ease#@ ' broke his nos e and shattered his cheekbone with three s o=id right cros ses that <ut
hi> down5 as =uck wou=d have it5 right at the feet of the co<s5 who as ked > e what ha<<ened# We==5 '
=ooked at the uncons cious biker5 drunk5 covered in b=ood and beerN ' =ooked at the co< and said as
hones t=y as <ossib=e5 9)e fe==#:
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 11 of
1;
ood enough for the co< who arrested 7 )', 7 on the s <ot# ( his covers the =ega= ra>ifications#
As for > ora= ra>ifications 0 !one to s <eak of that ' know about# ' >ean5 to Kuote A-B.-5 9' never s
hot nobody that didnt carry a gun#:
' >ean5 sure5 sure5 you cry a few crocodi=e tears if youre around a wo> an who you =ike and you want
a few eCtra -s<ecia= <oints for A=an A=da-esKue sens itivities and a certain a> ount of nob=e savagery# (
he rea=ity5 though0 'ts as fun as the > ost fun thing you cou=d ever do# -rus hing your ene> ies5
driving the> before you and hearing the =a>entation of their wo> en0 't does nt get >uch better than
this# ?,y a<o=ogies to 1ohn ,i=ius for that#@
' s this what your teacher5 ,arcus 2inicius5 taught you0
,arcus 2inicius is one of the greatest >en and fighters that ' know# )es a gent=e> an and in true
&raAi=ian fas hion wou=d be shocked and a<<a==ed at >y eCtracurricu=ar a<<=ication of a dis ci<=ine that
he reveres# )e <ursues the fight ga> e g=oba==y# 've s<ent ti> e with hi> in $us sia and here# )es
gone to "erbia5 'ta=y5 the A>aAon rain forest5 1a<an5 and Puerto $ico in search of the A<o==onian heart
of this .ionysus# Whi=e ,arcus has taught > e the finer <oints of &raAi=ian Liu-Lits uDa coterie of
chokes5 cranks5 and debi=itating ar> barsD his "outh A> erican > iC of an easygoing =ove of =ife
co>bined with a certain >achis>o > ade >y dis tinct=y !orth A>erican ass ho=ishness so> ething '
necessari=y had to =eave at the door# &ut > ake no >istake5 what he taught > e5 he taught > e to great
effect#
(rans =ation/ 'f 've choked you the fuck out5 dont tha nk >e# (hank the great
,arcus 2inicius#
1;
) ow did % Cbow beco>e <art band5 <art fight c=ub0
%Cbow is a== band5 and if you were =ooking for four > usicia ns > ore s erious about <=aying the > us
ic they <=ay5 you cou=dnt find any# "erious # Pretentious# Portentous# 't is not eas y >usic to <=ay#
Unfortunate=y this > eans that in concert the >os t i><or tant thing for us is the <=aying of that >usic#
!ot the fact that you want to show your friends how funny it is to <iss off the !egro with the knife on s
tage in his underwear by screa>ing shit at hi> that wou=d get you =arge=y the s a>e treat>ent streetside
s ans the a> <s5 the s<eakers 5 and a== the rest# 'n any cas e5 because dis res<ect s ee>s to beget
disres<ect5 if you dont want to hear the > usic and you dont want us to <=ay the > usic were being
<aid to <=ay5 we==5 it s ee>s that =eaves very =itt=e doubt as to what you rea==y want/ to get to know us
better# -=oser# ,ore inti>ate=y# And you wi==#
&ut yeah5 your instincts are right here# (here was an evo=ution to this <osition# 't occurred one night
when a 9friend: taunted us the who=e s how# &ecause he was a 9friend5: we gave hi> a <a ss# &ut after
the show it fe=t so bad5 =ike we had fai=ed as >us icians and artists5 that we decided to !E2E$5 E 2E
$ a gain ignore the rea=ity of the > o>ent# ( o never ignore the hereness and the nowness of this S en
two-ste< between you and us# And so it goes/ Were engaged in the co==ective
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1M of
1;
creation of a <iece of art# 'ts as ega=itarian as it gets# E veryone <artici<ates# For good or i==#
&ut the > os t i><ortant thing to note here is when <=aying a s how5 wed a=ways rather Lust finis h
<=aying the show than fight# ?(hat is the co==ective WE#@ And when fighting a fight wed a=ways rather
Lust finish fighting the fight than <=ay the s how#
-an you beat > e0
&eyond a s hadow of a doubt#
3 ,A A S'!E + A FEA$ + " ' -K!E" " U! (% .EA()
( ho> unn5 for>er friend of the fistic arts5 in s o> e sort of "an Francis co e=egy > ade this <oint
c=ear about fightingD s<ecifica==y streetfighting# Far fro> being a "a> Peckin<ah-ish ba==et of
orchestrated chaos5 it was 5 he o<ined5 eCce<t when <racticed by a s e=ect few5 grace=ess ani>a= activity#
Even worse than that/ ani>a= activity without the econo>y# A stu> b=ing bu> b=e of f=ai=ing fists5
fatigue5 and5 at =eas t ha=f the ti>e5 fai=ure#
Yeah5 whatever#
Where unn s aw our ridicu=ousness on dis <=ay there are so> e who see5 in the "cience of the &a==ed
Fist5 the unto=d story of a== of our stories 5 the key to od- iven "eC A<<ea=5 and an archety<e so
thorough=y us that once said it Lust see> s i> <oss ib=e that it even needed to be s aid in the first
<=ace# A== hai= (he Ass Kicker#
(he Ass Kicker5 not-so-distant cousin of ( he Face "=a<<er5 (he Foot Puter .own-er5 ( he &ig
"tickB"oft ( a=ker5 discredited in this <resent age of A>erican eCce<tiona=is> but s ti== so dee<=y
ingrained in the Western > ethodo=ogy that you can see us a== try to figure out why our 1ohn Wayne is
not <=aying better with the natives #
&ut this aint about that#
(his is about .ionysus and the 1oy of the Fight#
F=ash to (re> b=ing 2oice on the Phone# 9We==5 there have been co> <=aints#: Perfect# -o><=aints#
9't see> s that there are >any who are thinking that5 u>5 fighting is not a== that
Ogent=e>an=y:
What about ,arKuess of 3ueensbury0 .ue=ing5 for chrissakes# 'ts nothing but gent=e> an=y# "teve
Fried>an5 s taffer at 35 was eC<=aining things to > e# "<ecifica==y5 how a nation was sti==
searching for its testic =es a> ids t a== the > ens fragrances and fragrant > ens gewgaws5 gi>crack5
and doodads# (he hubbub0 ,y artic=e on the new=y e>erging s<ort of the no-ho=ds-barred U=ti>ate
Fighting#
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1; of
1;
A=s o known as ,iCed ,artia= Arts# A=so known as ECtre> e Fighting# A=so known by "enator 1
ohn ,c-ain in his now fa> ous broads ide5 as 9hu>an cockfighting#:
(he Fragrant %nes were Kuestioning our bona fides as gent=e> en#
$U*E !U,&E$ MR/ !ever Kuestion another > ans bona fides as a godda> ned gent=e>an
if you eC<ect to wa=k away without a fight#
And =ike -ar= PanAra>5 ye o=de seria= ki==er and >ass >urderer5 once s aid5 ' wish they a== had one neck
and ' had >y hands around it# (his is a== about never wanting to wa=k away without a fight5 and if there
was anything that ever >ade anyone who =iked to fight want to fight it was this idea that fighting is
so>ehow a =ess er i> <u=s e5 urge 5 co> <u=sion than 7 what0 What on the great <yra> id of basic
and enduring activities was above fighting0 %ur entire 1 udeo--hristian tradition is based on
unending strugg=e# When 1acob fought a== night with an ange= on the road to 1udea5 when wrest=ing is
the on=y s<ort to a<<ear in the '=iad5 its a da>n sure sign that 3 wi== yie=d to >y wi==fu= desire to do
yet another artic=e on the >ano and the >ano for their bes <oke > agaAine#
9't s ee>s that there are > any who need their heads bounced off the wa==s =ike s o >any fuAAy5 ye==ow
tennis ba==s 5 you <rick5 you#:
,y na> e5 a nd indeed any artic=e on fighting5 was forthwith destined neve r to grace the <ages of 3
again#
"o5 this book# At onc e a tribute5 a how-to guide5 and a non-a<o=ogia for one of the wor=ds > os t
godda>ned vita= activities / the fight#
11
% !E
W)A( ()E
)E** A$E Y%U *%%K'! A(0
P A$( 1
-ities are great incubators for high=y evo=ved ani>a= behaviors# 1a> thirty rats in a s <ace better
suited for fifteen rats and you have the sa> e sort of chur=ishness that was an ear> ark of <re-
IB11 !ew York5 where in the 1IRTs VJTs s we=ter of returning 2ietna> vets 5 Lunk ?and the Lunkies to
go with it@5 <unk rock5 and disco# You cou=d find a fight as ea si=y as a rando> =y eCchanged g=ance#
$eck=ess eyeba==ing5 different fro> its 1 i> -row southern variant5 took on a who=e different
>eaning in > y !Y- ro>an W c=ef# Whi=e this is a > onogra<h about fighting its a=so the s tory of a
fighter# As ' s tood on a s idewa=k a b=ock or s o off of Eastern Parkway at a rundown <ark on the edge
of -rown )eights5 ' knew what ' was hearing even before ' knew what to do with what ' had heard#
What the he== are you =ooking at0
.e<ending on your age5 dis <os ition5 race5 socioecono>ic > akeu<5 ha=f-e><ty- ha=f-fu== out=ook on
=ife5 and whe re you co> e fro>5 youre =iab=e to do any nu>ber of things at this here Luncture in
ti> e#
You/
1# Kee< on wa=king/ !ot s uch a bad o<tionDif youre a <riest# %r .avid -arradine in that ( 2 s how
Kung Fu# 't shows a re> arkab=y adu=t take on s e<arating that which is i><ortant in =ife fro> that
which is not# 't a=so s hows that youre a non-confrontationa= <uss#
ECce<tions/ When youre we== dress ed5 in a hurry5 andBor with a date# ( hes e three in concert5 the
<erfect s tor> of Un=ike=y (o $o== Around 'n (he .irt With ,orons5 when in evidence wi== a=so > ake
you a <ri> e target for > orons# * ike running fro> a =arge angry dog or not s norke=ing in F=orida s
wa> <s5 no one wi== think =ess of you for doing this#
8# Act =ike you didnt hear anything/ ( his is a >ere variation on nu> ber
1# A > ore <athetic variation5 incidenta==y#
M# o nuc=ear/ You know its co>ing# And you know what the 9it: is thats co> ing# Forget about
doing any s ort of >eeting ha=fway# You know theres a <oint at which you figure out that your garbage
dis<osa= is not a s<oon washer but a s<oon bender5 and that <oint cou=d be now#
11
"o you 7
a# Attack/ -a== it a <ree> <tive s trike# Whi=e this is >uch harder to defend in a court of =aw5 in the
eyes of the habituUs of the street scene this s ort of bravado is the stuff of =e gend#
b# "tart screa>ing/ Ani> a=s do this a== the ti>e# 'ts a kind of > i>icry and the thinking of
those who s tudy ani>a=s is thus / if ' can convince this angry Puerto $ican that ' a> a rhino5 he wi== be
frightened# (his >ay or > ay not work# $e> e>berDduress constricts voca= cords# -onstricted voca=
cords can thrust you back to <uberty# 's Urke= a tough rhino0 !o# !o5 he is not#
c# F=ee/ Whi=e this c=ear=y =acks any sort of couth at a==5 when co> bined with b@ and even in
odd cases with a@5 it >akes for a boui==abais se of se> i-effective co<ing and surviva= strategies#
.$AW&A-K"/ You >ay sti== get your ass kicked# "a vage=y# & y >en with no a<<reciation for your
theatrica= tour de force# Whi=e su>> er s tock > ay beckon5 it== ha ve to wait unti= the bruises c=ear#
;# .o what ' did/ !egotiate/ (he key to any successfu= negotiation is your abi=ity to convince a== and
sundry that your wi==ingness to go Ma@ or Mb@ is higher than their wi==ingnes s to do the sa>e# ,oreover5
since wi==ingnes s is on=y <art of the <ie here5 abi=ity is a fa ctor as we==5 so you best deve=o< s o>e
abi=ity or =earn to >i> ic it# Abi=ity >i> icked bad=y wi== weaken your negotiating <os ture5 as it
>akes an as s beating > ore than =ike=y# &ut how do you negotiate your way around What the he== ar e
you =ooking at0
Easy <eas ey (he answer is/ 9Y%U#:
!ow his c hoices are high=y =i> ited/ es ca=ate5 or decide that you are the bigger rhino and wa=k away#
'n > y non-fictiona= rendering5 however5 he chose the
11
for>er# Yes5 he esca=ated by returning with the age-o=d and s ur<rising=y usefu= %h yeah0 And =ike the
rising hands on the baseba== bat of one-u<>anshi< this was s <oken as he was c=osing the distance
betwiCt us5 before he conc=uded that thought with You =ike what you see0
Your turn# E sca=ate or de-esca=ate0 !ow5 be carefu= here# (his is the trickiest <art of your negotiation
as ani> a= brains reign and even so>ething said to de- es ca=ate >ight get used to esca=ate#
For eCa><=e/
You say5 !o5 >an# Forget it#
)e says5 "o now the res so>ething wrong with >y face5 fuckface0
"o if youre he==bent for es ca=ation5 =ike ' was5 you say s o> ething =ike what ' said when ' said5 '
dont know W)A( '> seeing# ( heres a certain genius to this =ine# %r at =east as >uch genius as a
ten-year-o=d is =ike=y to be ab=e to bear# (he genius co>es fro> the fact that you have now said s o>
ething confrontationa=5 but confus ing=y confrontationa=# 'ts the functiona= eKuiva=ent of te==ing a gir=
when s he as ks you if those <ants > ake her =ook fat/ 9Fats the =e ast of your troub=es 5 baby#:
"o now he was facing > e5 ' was facing hi> 5 and it was =ooking =ike a draw# A=>ost eCact=y =ike a
draw5 in fact# Yes 5 a draw right u< to the very > o>ent that he b=iAtkriegd >y face with severa=
we==-<=aced b=ows thus=y conc=uding our =ess on and >y fai=ed atte><t at negotiating a fruitfu=
sett=e> ent#
!ow5 wha t went wrong0
(he s age obs erver wi== reca== (uco fro> (he ood5 (he &ad + (he Ug=y/ 9'f youre going to fight5
fight# .ont ta=k#: "o here begins the cava=cade of wrong/ =etting any angry <erson get too c=ose5
trying to debate a > oron5 and fina==y5 ho<ing for the bes t on a <=anet where thats the =east =ike=y
thing to ha<<en# What the he== was ' thinking0
We==5 ' wasnt# And thats the dea= hereDnot thinking# 'n a <=ace where not thinking is =arge=y going to
be >ore effective than thinking5 not thinking doesnt > ean !%( K!%W'!# ' wasnt thinking5 and
that was fine# !ot knowing0 We==5 that was ineCcusab=e#
"o at this re> ove of years5 M5TTT >i=es5 and a WiAard of %A-=ike hunger to know that which had
<revious=y been hidden5 ' deca> <ed to the un=ike=ies t of <=acesD a s >a==5 s=ee<y5 beach co>>
unity# A s> a==5 s=ee<y5 beach co> >unity whose streets5 bas ed on >y <revious visits here5 were fi==ed
with young > en in =ate-> ode= > usc=e cars who when as ked for directions to the beach wou=d g=ad=y
=ean out of their <assenger windows 5 going over and above the ca== of their now high-s<eed duty5 to
atte> <t to use ba==<een ha>> ers to drive the <oint ho> e that the on=y kind of -a=ifornia .rea>ing
youd be =ike=y to find in )untington &each is the kind you find when they get their hea<ing he=<fu=
fists of fury on you#
Yes5 )untington &each5 -a=ifornia# ( o > eet the WiAard# 'n this ins tance5 the
11
origina= )untington &e ach &ad &oy5 a hand=e hung on hi> when s traight fro> a siC-> onth =ocku<
for as sau=ting a co<s kid on the streets# )e was then dragged5 $ocky-sty=e5 into the U=ti> ate
Fighting -ha><ionshi<5 where <eo<=e eC<ected this barroo> braw=er to =ose to 9s easoned > artia=
artis ts #: )is na> e/ (ank Abbott# %r the way he s <ins it# 7 9A-doub=e &-%-doub=e ( 7 twice the >
an you== ever be#:
(wenty-seven s econds into his first cagefight5 after he had knocked his four- hundred-<ound o<<onent
into a state of near <ara=ysis5 the boas t didnt s ee> near=y so e><ty# )e had been doing the sa>e
thing in bars u< and down the boardwa=k for years #
() E &A$ 5 ()E $ %% ,5 ()E &$ A W *5 (A! K A &&%((" ($' - K" %! )%W (% A2%' . F
'!. '! Y%U$ "E*F W AK' ! UP ,% $E () A! %!-E A .AY
9%h5 he deserved it#: (anks ar> bent back and he drew on his firs t vodka of the day# %r at =east the
first one that 've seen# 2odka with a strawfu= of cranberry Luice# (he 9he: in this ins tance5 the 9he:
that ( ank was s<eaking of was nt any kind of univers a= 9he#: !o# 't was the co<s kid5 the beating of
who> had =anded ( ank in the s =a> #
9' was driving > y truck around one night and got into it with this kid# '> Lust trying to get
so>ewhere and hes s crea> ing O-o>e on5 Fatso# '== kick your fucking ass if you get out of that
truck# ' get out of the truck and he starts running# "o ' get back in the truck and fa ke hi> out as
hes running &A-K to >y drivers-side window and hes f=i<<ing >e off as he thinks '> about to get
back in but ' get hi> and knock hi> on to 3ueer "treet# &ut5 yeah# )is father was a co< and so in '
went# ' had had ten other run-ins5 but 'd never gotten any ti>e for it5 but this ti>e5 even though 'd s
ay it was Lus t a s treetfight5 his father coached hi>
11
through two or three story changes and s o ' was gone# "iC >onths #:
!o <rison shower-roo> <rob=e>s 0
( anks eyes narrow as he takes fu== > easure of > y s> irking face# 9!ah# ( hey dont want to fight in
county#:
(he bar where were s itting is notab=y u<> arket# )untington &each has changed fro> the
ba==<een ha> >er days in a== but s <irit# Were sitting ensconced in the red-ti=e5 adobe-iAed interior of a
kind of <=ace you i> agine having do==ar- drink nights on 1i>> y &uffets birthday# (as tefu=# ood
food5 > usic and vibe# !ot a <=ace where youre =ike=y to catch too >any fights5 but heres $U*E
!U,&E$ 8M courtesy of Wi==ie .iCon/ You cant Ludge a book by =ooking at the cover#
(anks s hown u< an hour =ate and credits Bb=a>es it on trying to =ook decent5 as the night in Kuestion5
that night being (%!')( 5 he s been ta<<ed as a s<ecia= s ur<rise gues t for =ike MTT ,arines in the
grand ba==roo> at the )yatt $egency# ,arines fro> the Mrd &atta=ion# -a== the>se=ves the (hundering
)erd# And are described as the &A** " of the -or<# And wa ving down his second vodka5 (anks
invo=ve> ent in said tribute to those who both > anage to fight A!. =ive is going to be > ore than
worth the <rice of ad> is sion#
9.rinks for A** ,Y F$'E!."666: )is <ur<osefu= and knowing =ift fro> the &ukows ki-inked &arf=y
is not accidenta= and there is > ore than a =itt=e of the &acchus-ba sed <oet in (ank# At siC feet5
8RH <ounds with a ETT-<ound-<=us bench <res s5 the si>i=arities <erha<s end there#
9%h5 ( anks not stu<id5: says (odd )ester5 editor in chief of (hrowdown
> agaAine# 9!ot by any stretch# &ut he > akes it eas y for <eo<=e to forget#:
9(he fire that fue=e d > e a=ways wasDwhat was that thing 7 that >eta<hor 7
or that car fro> that thing/ the gray ghost0:
A dark horse0
9!o# ( he ideas Lus t that theres a =ack of res<ect5 and then res<ect# &ecause between the two5
so>ethings ha<<ened# (hey =earned s o> ething#:
W hat0
9( hey =earned that '> > uch better than they thought# ,uch better# ' > ean5 in a bar fight you a=ways
have that e=e> ent# E very sing=e ti>e# And its either because they dont notice5 dont care to notice5 or
notice the wrong thing# ' used to sta=k these guys#: (anks war> ing u< into his fourth drink#
9Yeah# ( he steroid- bodybui=der ty<es5: and on cue one wa=ks in/ 8EH <ounds 5 H <ercent body fat5 s
=eeve=ess (-shirt5 triba= tattoos5 goatee5 and stunner shades # )es a > ovie star
11
without the > ovie and his gir= doesnt know any better5 either#
9You se e5 these guys5: he says nodding toward ,r# %=y> <ia5 9wou=d <u== into a s<ot with a =ot of
fanfare and 'd s<ot the> and 'd start >aking >y >ove# E dging c=os er# Unti= 'd be back-to-back
with hi> 7 or so> ehow in his circ=e#:
' s this where we get to the 9he deserved it: <art0
9We==5 'd be back-to-back with hi> or sudden=y =ike in his s <ace# And it wou=dnt take =ong# A
co> >ent# A nois e# And then theyre 7 : and hes > i> ing drunks drinks changing hands 5 hands
waving in fu== rega=ing5 chests bu> <ing5 and his <=aying the anti-WiAard thing for a== its worth5 and
after a <articu=ar=y ino<<ortune co>> ent the a=so inevitab=e5 9O)ey 7 why dont you fuck off060 And
'd be acting afraid# %r shy# And 'd be egging hi> on with a co> >ent here and there and then theyd
cross that =ine and itd be over#:
*ots of w ays for it to be over# !a>e a few#
(A!K" FEW W AY" F% $ '( (% &E % 2E$
1@ )ead &utts/ 9theyre now i==ega= in > iCe d >artia= arts X,,A5 what the U=ti> ate Fighting
-ha><ions hi< is Y co><etition but ' never > et a head butt ' didnt =ike# Eas y and effective#:
8@ Any fis tic co> binations of us e/ Labs 5 u<<ercuts5 cross es5 e=bows#
M@ Any co> binations to go horiAonta= to take away the big > ans advantages 5 as we== as res
tricting the action to the f=oor5 where eyewitness accounts gets b=urry/ 9' get the> on the f=oor and they
cant get u<#:
11
9( he great Kar= otch once said5 O&u==s die on the f=oor5: ' offer#
( ank s>i=ed# 9)ere they did#:
And when it was over0
9We==5 the gray ghos t had shown that on this day they were going to =earn so>ething# -a== it
res <ect if you want to# ' >ean they =earned that ' was nt whatever they had thought ' was that
got the> where they were when they figured it out#:
And that was 0 (he f=oor0
9( he f=oor#:
( anks a study in contrasts# & ui=t we== for chos en endeavor/ s> a==ish ears =ying tight to his head5
narrow eyes5 a who=e u<<er row of fa=se teeth fro> the second in a s>a== s<ate of drunken driving
accidents5 fa=s e teeth that he takes out when he fights 5 =ooking =ike5 with his "nuffy ">ith beard5 a== of
the "o-a= kind of hi==bi==y he sort of is#
And s o there is > ethod to his >adness5 it s ee>s# 'n a town that s <orts an air<ort dedicated to (he
.uke5 1ohn Fucking Wayne5 there is a =ogica= consistency that echoes A-B.-s =ine about 9!ever
shooting nobody tha t didnt carry a gun#: )e was a godda>ned <ub=ic s ervant# * ike a &at>an or so>
ething#
&ut there was this other thing that ' was =ooking for5 and that was the ani> a= anger that drove one to
fight# 't was a ca==ing that beca> e a Lob5 but we== before that5 it started out as an e> otiona= need# ' fe=t
it# ' have fe=t it and in the >idd=e of an ear=y 1IJTs interview with Anton *a2ey fro> the -hurch of
"atan ' trie d to get hi> to touch on it5 bac k when ' thought it had so>ething to do with evi=# ' asked
hi> about three ti>es in the guise of discuss ing evi= and he said5 9%kay# Evi= is what does nt fee=
good#: And ' as ked again because ' was ta=king about b=ood=us t and an e> otiona= de=ight in do>
ination# And he fina==y begged off5
11
9*ook5 '> an atheist#: ( he i><=ication being that this was Lust a con#
% kay# ' got it#
"o it was with (ank# (he ground f=oor of W) Y W E F ') ( he had to have had his finger on# A
father that bounced basketba==s off of his head0 A castrating >other0 A== of the fa>i=iar Freudian
tro<es#
9We==5 ' had an o=der brother who <=ayed footba==5 and > y father was a rah-rah footba== ty<e of guy# A
tough guy# ' s tarted fighting when ' was nine# Wrest=ing
7:
Yeah yeah yeah# &ut what about the ris ing rage that bites when you fight5 do you fee= it any>ore0 .id
you ever0
9!ot in the ring# !ot ever# &ecause thats business# And its s trategy# And techniKue# ' >ean if
anybody ' was fighting in the ring >anaged to get s o> e sort of e>otion out of >e5 itd be a tough day
at work for the> # &ut5 no5 ' ne ver fe=t any sort of e> otion there# 'n the streets5 though0 We==5 that was
tota==y different# Anger is an e> otion but it wasnt a=ways ()E e> otion5 but it had to do with the gray
ghos t thing# "howing the> that things aint a=ways =ike they s ee># ' was that <unk rock kid# ' re>e>
ber being 1MH at fourteen years o=d# And ' re> e>ber being s urrounded by the who=e schoo=# And '
fought then 7 :
And so there it is/ fighting (% ") %W () E,# (hat ' know# ' ve fe=t that#
And s o what about now 7 after the nine U=ti>ate F ighting -ha><ionshi< ?UF-@ wins5 the > agaAine
covers 5 the gir=friend whos an eC->ode=5 the cash5 the ce=ebrity5 and the handshaking that does nt
sto< whi=e we s it and drink5 with even co<s who use d to A$$E"( hi> co> ing u< for s o> e of the
Luice0 ' f youve a=ready shown the> what is it that gets you to the fucking <arty any> ore0 %ut
of bed0 Anything0
9-as h# 'n the ring5 cas h# And outside the ring0 !othing# ' > ean5 the occasiona= guy who doesnt
know who ' a> and wants to s tart s o> ething is usua==y wised u< by so>e of his friends before it gets
to where its going# (he guy who wants to te== >e Ofuck you5 we==5 that wont even get > e to <ut > y
drink down# ' > ean ' rea==y dont have a nything to show the> any> ore s ince 've showed the> a==#:
11
At the age of forty-one does this fee= =ike youve =ost so>ething0 ' >ean5 what do you do if this has
defined your <ersona=ity for s o =ong0 '> not as king hi> for hi> # ' > asking hi> for > e#
9( his#: And he waves down vodka nu> ber eight# And then <oints to a )enny Young> an =ook-a=ike
sitting behind us # E ighty-siC years o=d# And drinking# 9( hat#:
And then on cue he turns and catches at the >us c=e boy >ovie star sitting on the <atio# 9*ets go sit
outs ide#: And we a== =augh and =augh# And ' s ay5 9*ets#: &ut before we get around to doing this5
(anks gir= shows u<# (hin and drawn high and tight5 she occu<ies that s<ace of for>er-eC-so>ething
or other# ,ode=# Actres s# !ew York <arty gir=# Whatever# "he nods in >y direction5 not as a he==o but
as a Kuestion to ( ank/ Who the he== is that060
9%h# )es writing a book on fighting and fighters and wants to interview >e#:
(his s its =ess we== than ' thought it >ight have and ' start to beg off Lust to give the> so>e a=one ti>e#
9"it down#: And when (ank says to sit down5 we==5 you consider it# And he tries to >o==ify5 caLo=e5
cheer to no avai= as the hours tick by and the drinks chug on through5 and its c=ear as c=ear can be that
when s he says5 9%)6 'ts Lus t a========== about ( A!K A&&%((5 isnt it0606: that this is going to end
the on=y way it can# And >y ob=igation5 as any > ight eCist anywhere at a==5 is Lust to be absent when s
he says5 9.o you K!%W what he Lust A"KE. > e5 ( A!K0606: &ecause this evening is cruising
toward an ass -kicking#
And their fighting continues at the )yatt $egency a> ids t the &a==s of the -or<5 and 've started
drinking too at this <oint and a> dra wing hard =ooks fro> the ( hundering )erd unti= so> e of the> s
tart to recogniAe ( ank whi=e his gir= is whining about having been a > ode= and how shes not Lus t
one of 9(A!K" '$*": and how she des erves to have doors he=d o<en for her and (ank is
neither angered nor eCas <erated5 and when ' ask how =ong theyve been together he says5 9(en >
onths# 7 and about ten >ore days#:
11
And hes sti== drinking and shes sti== beefing5 and when he wa =ks out on s tage to hand off the award to
the returning hero5 a=ong with the ,ayor of )untington &each5 he was Lust su<<osed to <ass it
a=ong but the (hundering )erd is thundering in recognition of hi> and eighteen vodkas =ater that >
ike is as good as his and hes on the stage hands raised whi=e the crowd scre a>s and he says5 9' wish '
cou=d be over there with you guys 7 K'**'! )A.1'"666: And the crowd goes wi=d# ( ank5
waving5 weaves back to his tab=e5 to his gir=friend5 who turns her back to hi>5 and to the fight5 any
fight5 that wi== >ost c=ear=y > ark his
<=ace in s<ace#
() E F' $"( -'!E,A('- !%(E %F -AE F ' )('! () A(
A*"% .'. !% ( F EA(U$E ,E! -*A. '! (% A"5 "A!.A*" + () E (E**'! ")EE! % F
&A&Y %'*
)ard (i>es ?1IRH@ .irected by Wa=ter )i==
( he >e n are shirt-free# ( hey raise their hands in what a<<ears to be s urrender whi=e circ=ing
each other# "urrender unti= they o<en their hands # !o wea<ons# !o weights# !o edge# ( heyre s
urrounded by a cage# -hain =ink# And touts around the <eri<hery screa > and wave do==ars#
)ard ti>es 5 indeed#
&ut weve seen s hadings of this in every chea< cho<suey f=ick u< to and inc=uding &ruce * ees
bows and $a>bo5 but back in 1IRH this was dangerous5 a nd no =ess s o with Wa=ter )i== at the
he=> # )e who wou=d a=so direct (he Warriors5 and Kuasi-action f=ick fare in ;J )ours and s o on# &ut
before he had beco>e a director hed been <u==ing duty on oi= rigs 5 construction5 and other
<=aces where a > an >ight =earn his way around the business end of a fist#
And in his gritty-in-a-way-that-nothings -been-gritty-since-the-RTs f=ick5 a <otboi=er of a story of
.e<ression-era fis ticuffs starring -har=es &ronson5 1 a>es -oburn5 and a raft of characters that =ooked
=ike they had actua==y s <ent so>e ti> e cage-side5 we saw s o> e5 a=beit fake5 no-ho=ds-barred
fightingD hooks5 knees 5 e=bows 5 and =eg swee<sD sha dows of which wou=d
11
on=y =ater e> erge =ater in the very rea= >iCed > artia= arts ?,,A@ in
A>erica of the 1IITs #
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd g### Pa ge
1 of R
(W %
*E(" E( '( %!
(here was an a=>ost reverentia= g=ee that co=ored discuss ions of (yson in his <ri> e# 't a<<roached the
da> n-near >ythica=5 this <erce<tion that as )eavyweight -ha> <ion of the Wor=d he was the
undis<uted baddest of the badas ses around# And des<ite the oft-as serted ri<os te5 9We==5 for that kind
of > oney 'd fight hi> 5: fro> both ar> chair ath=etes and Lourney>en a=ike5 there was no >oney
where those > ouths were and this uns<oken ha=f-truth went re=ative=y uncontested#
Unti= the U=ti> ate Fighting -ha><ions hi< ?UF-@#
What s tarted as a sche> e cooked u< by the >any-nu>bered boys fro> &raAi= known as the raciesD
a =ong-revered c=an of Liu-Litsu fighters who had for years offered =arge s u> s of > oney to A!Yone
who cou=d beat the>D ended u< >aking good on the >a=e instinct to Kuantify Kua=ity and figure out
once and for a==5 for those who cared5 who were the best baddest > en a=ive#
*ike so>e craAy Wi=d West dea=5 fighters5 tough guys 5 boCers5 and bouncers fro> a== over the g=obe
convened in an eight-sided ring to sett=e the wor=ds =onges t running bar bet# !o ru=es5 no ti>e =i>
its# (he understanding was <ure , ad ,aC/ two >en enter5 one > an =eaves # Whi=e neither (yson5 nor
indeed A!Y boCer of significant s ta ture 5 <ut it on the =ine by showing u<5 there was one
re<resenting the s weet science5 a ranke d heavyweight who outweighed the racie he faced by so>e s
iCty-five <ounds # "aid heavyweight g=owered at the s >a==er > an fro> across the %ctagon#
*ater5 so>e twenty-eight seconds =ater to be eCact5 the fight was over# (he s tunned boCer bare=y
=i><ed out of the %ctagon and it s ee>ed =ike5 for fans of > ano-a-> ano5 the wor=d had changed Lust a
=itt=e bit# You see5 >iCed > artia= arts ?,,A@D a Frankens tein > ons ter of wrest=ing5 Liu-Litsu5
kickboCing5 boCing5 and karate had been born5 and the )eavyweight -ha> <ion of the Wor=d now
see>ed =ike a Kuaint > is no> er# What tough used to be and what it was now were very different
things#
' > ean5 sure5 there had been thos e P# (# &arnu> atte> <ts to > iC the >artia= arts before# A=i fought
'noki back in the 1IRTs on network ( 25 with A=i trying vain=y to <ut together co>binations that
worked5 and 'noki ro==ing on the f=oor trying so>e sort of karate that >ost A>ericans had heretofore
on=y seen in bad=y dubbed "aturday-> atinee s howings of Fists of F ur y or Five F ingers of .eath#
&ut this was c=ear=y not the ticket5 es <ecia==y when you witnessed how Kuick=y the big
8 of R
>oney wa=ked# Even .on 9%n=y in A>erica: King was nt interested# What a difference twenty years
> akes#
(he first UF- was an unKua=ified s ucces s when it hit in the >id-1IITs # "ubs eKuent >atches
were fi==ed to the bri> with g=itteratiDfro> .ennis $od>an and 1i> &rown ?who =ater > oved into
doing co=or co> >entary for the UF-@ to 1 oe $ogan fro> (2s !ews $adio ?and5 =ater5 Fear Factor@
and the strange=y <=aced .avid )as se=hof a nd &aywatch entourage# A== were drawn by the <ro>ise of
fu==-contact fighting without the shadiness of boCing or the sha> of <ro wrest=ing# And A>erica
res<onded si>i=ar=yD whether it was because it offered white > en the briefest of o<<ortunities to see
a co> bat s<ort where white fighters s ti== had a chance5 or whether it was because it $EA** Y
answered the king-of- the-hi== Kues tion5 <ay-<er-view went nuts# &=ood on the s creen was =ike b=ood
in the water# And out ca> e the s harks#
*obbyists of various stri<es at the behest of5 so> e wou=d s ay5 .on King and 2ince ,c,ahon5 the
current >arket-cornerers on s<orts vio=ence and entertain>ent5 were tugging on the coats of their
congress fo=k5 who were officia==y 9a<<a==ed: at what was sound-biting=y referred to as 9hu>an
cockfighting#: -ab=e sto<<ed carrying it5 on=y a few southern s tates wou=d =icense it5 and <ay-<er-view
was effective=y sta==ed#
A West -oas t ad re< for (-' cab=e who as ked to not be identified stated that they were getting <ress
ure fro> 9back Eas t on the grounds that the UF- was not s uitab=e for fa>i=y viewing and we were not
to acce<t advertising fro> the>#:
9'f you knew the difference between shit and "hino=a5: says Pau= 9(he Po=ar &ear: 2are=ans5 ear=y
UF- co><etitor5 occasiona= .ennis $od>an running buddy5 and for>er co==ege footba== <=ayer who
easi=y ti<s the sca=es at we== over
MTT <ounds 5 9wou=d you sti== rea==y want the shit0 : ( he <owers that be werent chancing it and
continued the UF- witch-hunt# &ut des<ite a== of the backroo> dea=ing5 so> ething a>aAing ha<<ened#
'ts rabid co==ection of fans and fighters <ros <ered# %n a circuit that inc=udes &raAi=s UF- cognates5
2a=e (udo and *uta * ivre5 "audi Arabias Abu .habi "ub> ission Fighting (ourna>ent ?s<onsored by
a s heik and reca==ing nothing if not &ruce *ees Enter the .ragon@5 and 1a<ans "hooto and Pride
fights ?where winners swing so> e serious ce=e brity in (okyo@ not to > ention a raft of i>itators fro>
the ECtre>e Fighting -ha> <ionshi<s and a who=e a> ateur network of >en whose desire is to >
easure their ski==5 their >ett=e5 their ,A!hoodD a new testing ground s<rang u<#
!oting that > ore <eo<=e get hurt <=aying footba==5 boCing5 or skiing5 ,,A fighters <=y their trade
whi=e s> irking at the high=y <aid g=ory-boy boCers they c=ai> are owned by )&% and the >
oneyed 2egas s et5 s> irking because the bragging rights to toughitude c=ear=y be=ong to the> #
With boCings red-=ight- district s tatus worsened by Kues tionab=e ru=ings5 underwhe=>ing fights and
> ore courtroo> feinting than rings ide s =ugging5 a nd WWF and W-W see> ing=y the
M of R
unrestricted <rovince of <eo<=e for who> s<orts entertain> ent is not an oCy>oron5 ,iCed
,artia= Arts 's the "hit# And its fighters are5 hands down5 so>e of the toughest > en a=ive#
Fas t5 furious5 and too =egit to Kuit5 two of ,,As ear=y shining s tars and bona fide )a== of Fa> ers
were <rofi=ed/ the es ti> ab=e Kevin $and=e> an5 who is sti== fighting out of %hios )a> > er )ous e
?where the >otto is 9round and <ound
e>@5 and ,aurice "> ith5 a "eatt=e kickboCer whose easiness be=ies the fact that hes abso=ute=y
destroyed s o>e of the s<orts toughest before se> i-retiring a few years ago#
Are you ready0 Are you ready0 ( hen =ets get it on#
(W % &AAAAAAAAA.... ,E !
K evin with a 9K :
; of R
Kevin $and=e>a n5 thirty-four5 a== fros ted b=ond hair ?his Kuicksi=ver fashion choices have s een
the hair change > u=ti<=e ti> es ac cording to his wi=d=y changing whi>s@ and 81H-<ound scu=<ted
<hysiKue5 had been touted as the newest <heno> 5 the .ennis $od> an of the UF-# )is > ercuria=
<ost-fight <ronounce>ents wou=d do (he Wor> so>e Lustice# %ne week hes Kuitting5 the neCt week
hes fighting5 the neCt hes getting busted for using <erfor> ance-enhancing substances #
A==eged=y# ' was warned by E ddie o=d>an5 the )oward -ose== of ,iCed ,artia= Arts 5 that hed be
Lust as =ike=y to beat > e as ta=k to >e#
A== =ies#
$and=e> an5 father of two and fa> i=y >an5 was unfai=ing=y cordia=5 and this s tood in s tark re=ief
to the i>ages that f=ooded through > y brain <an of hi> riding as tride a co><etitor that he was
beating into the 9=oss : side of the eKuation# Wrest=ing fro> the age of ten and going on to fight in the
o=den =oves 5 win the &ig ten cha><ions hi<s three ti> es and the !-AA cha><ions hi<s
twice5 $and=e>an was > aCing in the twi=ight that eventua==y c=ai>s > os t of our to< wrest=ers#
(eaching5 training5 coaching and waiting5 unti= one day the <hones rings and its ,ark 9(he
)a> >er: -o=e>an5 <resident of )a> >er )ous e5 for> er %=y> <ian and once $and=e>ans %hio
"tate -oach5 and hes asking the Kuestion to which the answer is a=>ost a=ways5 Yes#
.o you want to > ake so>e >oney0
$and=e> an =aughed# And then said5 9Yeah#:
9'> a > ons ter5: says $and=e>an5 9and ' =ove this5 and this > ight sound craAy because ' dont =ike to
hurt <eo<=e but# 7: '== finish the sentence for hi> / 'f it ha<<ens 5 it ha<<ens#
And so it didD f=ights and fights in &raAi=5 a string of victories over the
H of R
&raAi=ians 5 his UF- debut and a b=ood=ine that goes =ike this / ,ark -o=e>an beat the s=o< out of a
bevy of brawn to take the tit=eN ,aurice "> ith beat the s=o< out of hi> N and $and=e> an was s et to go
head-to-head with "> ith# $and=e>an <=ayed giantki==er ki==er that day5 beating the s=o< out of "> ith
and <ronouncing5 as no e><ty boast5 9'> afraid of no > an#: !ice work if you can get it ?and he did@#
&ut in a Lust wor=d he d be s tarring o<<osite 2an .a>> e5 "chwarAenegger5 and "ta==one in so>e
)o==ywood >usc=eca<ade# )ed be training ,adonna# )ed be (ae &o fer chrissakes#
9%ur society is so backward5: $and=e> an o<ines fro> his ho>e in -o=u> bus 5 %hio# 9(he things that
we shou=d e>brace and enLoy are the things that we think of as being bad#: *ike5 <resu>ab=y5 the
good-o=e eorgia head-whi<<ings hes been inf=icting on a steady string of o<<onents 5 fro> ,aurice
"> ith to &as $utten ?who> he =ost to in a controvers ia= decision@#
9*ook5: $and=e>an s ays 5 9'> not in a dangerous s<ort# !obody ever =eft the %ctagon in a
whee=chair5 and the on=y concussion 've ever gotten was fro> high s choo= footba==# &ut '== te== you
so> ething s ad# ' > et 1ack .e> <seys great- grandson5 and the >an cannot s<eak# 'ts terrib=e# And
thats fro> boCing#:
&oCing# (he usua= s us <ect# A=so under fire in what even 1 oyce -aro= %ates thinks is a cons<iracy
against > ascu=inity and race5 is understood by $ and=e>an as si> <=y being the hand>aiden of due=ing
bus iness interests#
9' dont have the officia= figures5: $and=e>an offers5 9but the UF- at its height was gros sing =arger s
a=es than things =ike Wrest=e>ania and Evander )o=yfie=d- * ennoC *ewis fights# A== of that UF- >
oney was Lust >aking UF- fo=ks rich# 't wou=d be we== worth s<ending Z8 >i==ion on =obbyists to
kee< the UF- fro> taking Z1T > i= out of your <ocket5 'd think#:
And so it goes# 'n the seesaw of his tory5 <owerDthat vo=ati=e >iCture of >ight and >oneyDreso=ves
itse=f around its truest > easure5 cas h5 whi=e the g=adiators s o=dier on#
9' dont fight to i><res s# ' fight to get <aid5: conc=udes $and=e>an# 9And when ' get <aid ' take the
>oney and give it to >y fa>i=y and >y kids# 'ts that s i><=e#:
And cou=d not be si><=er#
, % ($ %U &*E5 ,% P A' ! 5 ,% " ,' ()
&ack when ' s<orted a konk5 ' used to have a hairdresser at ,rs # &=ues sho< u< in !ew $ oche==e5
na> e of ,aurice "> ith# !ice gent=e> an5 a=ways s >e==ed of -hane= !o# H# Wore angora# &ut5
strange=y5 ' dont think this is hi> 5 so ' check
his vita# &e==evue5 Washington5 res ident5 EF8G5 88T <ounds5 UF- )eavyweight
-ha> <ion5 ECtre> e Fighting ?EF-@ )eavyweight -ha><ion5 WKA Wor=d
)eavyweight ,uay (hai -ha> <ion5 '"KA Wor=d )eavyweight KickboCing
E of R
-ha> <ion with ;; K%s in kickboCing a=one#
,y guess0 (aint the sa> e fe==a#
And when we s<eak5 ' know for s ure that were ta=king birds of a different feather since words kee<
co> ing u< in convers ation that are re> arkab=y un=ike other conve rsations you >ight have with a
hairdres ser# Words =ike 9bruta=5: 9vio=ent5: and 9dead=y#: And s entences =ike 9' wou=d never say
sto><ing a guys head on the ground is a good thing to do#: &ut they co>e so easi=y he cou=d Lust as
easi=y be saying a=>ost anything e=se5 and he ho> es into that strange=y dissonant >atter-of-fact#
Kevin $and=e>an ?=eft@ and ,aurice ">ith ?right@#
9!inety-nine <ercent of the guys that 've >et5: ">iths says in his staccato de=ivery5 9and fought
with are actua==y nice guys# .ecent guys # ,uch nicer- s ee>ing than the boCers5 who have these
vio=ent <asts# And they .% ca== what we do s ub>ission fighting5 which s ort of > eans to > e that the
guy at =east has an out5 before hes <er>anent=y da> aged# )e can Kuit# "ub>it# 'n boCing the way out
is usua==y when the =ights go out# 'n > iCed > artia= arts its not about ki==ing the guy or whatever5 its
about winning the ga> e#:
R of R
Winning is so> ething ">ith wou=d know so> ething about# After <icking his way through a variety of
>artia= arts between the ages of thirteen and eighteen ?after having been ins<ired by &ruce * ees (he
-hinese -onnection@5 the forty- four-year-o=d ">ith began a co><etitive career that he ended in grand
sty=e when he hit the big =ife > arker of forty# (hats twenty-two years of ste<<ing into a ring and
kicking as s =ike ass -kicking was going out of sty=e# ' >ean5 ' =ike ass kicking as >uch as5 we==5 a=>ost
as >uch as ">ith5 but5 ' wonder if its any wonder that the genera= <ub=ic cant Kuite s=i< behind the
vei= of why he does what he does #
9(hey > ay not understand what it is5: "> ith s ays # What0
9-o><etition# 't a== co>es down to co><etition5: "> ith riffs5 9regard=ess of whether its <ing-<ong or
vo==eyba== or anything# 'ts what youre good at# What you > ay be the best at# And its hu> an nature#
'ts ani>a= nature# (o do>inate# And we have a choice/ to fight or not fight# ' want to fight#:
"o he has5 as he worked overti> e u< to his forty-year-o=d end date5 defeating the <revious =y
undefeated gra<<=er and %=y> <ic frees ty=e wres t=er ,ark -o=e>an5 sto<<ing heavyweight
braw=er (ank Abbott and eventua==y being s to<<ed hi>s e=f by -o=e> an <rotUgU $and=e> an# ">
ith brist=es at the s uggestion that this was a c=ass ic case of the =ion in winter5 an o=der fighter staying in
beyond his a<<ointed ti>e5 and cha=ks the =os s u< to i==nes s#
&ut then he ste<s outside of the <ro-wres t=ing vo=u> e range by <raising $and=e>an as 9a
young >an of eCce<tiona= ta=ent#: And there is5 if not a war> th in his voice5 at =east a recognition of a
fe ==ow trave=er on a road thats c=ear=y =ess trave=ed# When asked about the > ystery of =ife
beyond the fight5 ">ith5 co> <=ete=y in s ync with how his who=e career has f=owed5 doesnt >iss a
beat# 9'f '> not fighting5 '== be training fighters # (eac hing younger fighters # &ecause ' =ove the fight
and the co><etition and there is Lust no s ubs titution#:
1T
() $EE
FA$ EA"(
F')('! F%$ FU! A!. P$%F'(
?W' () A &$EAK % U( "E ""'%! F%$
K !'2E"5 ")A.%W Y "K U**.U E$Y A!. ,%() E$ (E$E"A@
9(heres a <oint at which the conscious >ind Lust gives u<#: )e s its across fro> >e# !ot on the other
side of the oak desk but on the sa> e side# "triking
distance away# )es about HF1TG# ,aybe about 1JH <ounds# Youd never notice
hi>5 and thats the key/ youd never notice hi># )is na>e is !ir> a=ya &how>ick5 and it
<robab=y doesnt > ean anything to you# 'f it does 5 you a=ready know whats going to be said here5 and
youre <robab=y shocked he =et >e s ay it# 'f it doesnt5 you need to know that this is where we go fro>
s<orts story to truer- ta=es-have-never-been-to=d ty<e of story# (rans=ation/ fro> <rototy<e to
archety<e5 beca us e &how> ick trades in fighting ?dare it be said@ for kee<s #
(he <ub=ic face0 We==5 hes the founder of the -a=ifornia Univers ity of Protection-'nte==igence
,anage> ent# For> er founder of a storied but dis tinct=y and s us <icious =y non-a> bitious acade>y
for the hy<eraggres sive art of > uay thai5 the dead=y "outheast As ian kickboCing disci<=ine that
brings arcing knees and s =as hing e=bows into a <icture re> arkab=y bereft of any defens e#
(he <rivate face0 (hats harder to s ee5 and as we wander the ha==s of his "an 1 os e5 -a=ifornia5 based
institute of higher =earning5 a== >arb=ed f=oors5 <ast doors with brass <=aKues that read Ad>issions5
$egistrar5 .ean of "tudents 5 and we==- turned-out white guys whod be at ho> e in any insurance
office5 &how> ick > akes intros to the facu=ty# &usiness cards are brandished5 and the > i=itary
<refiCes affiCed to the na>es start to >ake things a =itt=e c=earer# As do the fir> gri<s5 steady gaAes5
and the who=e "gt# $ock sch>ear# %nes Lus t gotten back fro> &aghdad# Was he serving0
"i=ence# ( hen5 eventua==y a s=ow5 s ure nod# %kay# We== get back to that#
At forty-four years o=d5 &how> ick =ooks at =eas t ten years younger# ood c=ean
=iving5 ' offerD and this is i> <ortantD without a sing=e hint of a s> irk# )e s> i=e s5 and in a
nondescri<t back-roo> office the books he=f is =ined with cours e study and books that range fro>
)ow to $ead a !ews<a<er to dark-science s hit on
1T
terroris>5 counterterroris >5 c=os e-Kuarter co> bat5 interrogation5 insurgency5 and <rotection# (he
best defense is a good offense5 ' sudden=y re>e> ber# &ut he was >id-s trea> in eC<=aining to > e
what his cage was for#
!ot the cagefighters kind of cage 5 the kind with rubber-coated chain-=ink to<<ed with
cushioning foa> and turnbuck=esKue s tanchions every few feet# !o5 this is a stee= cage# *ike a <rison-
ce== cage# About eight feet across 5 ten feet high5 with an enc=osed to< and a door o<ening that is =ow to
the ground# *ike they were eC<ecting a dog to be going in there# %r an uncons cious >an to be <u==ed
out#
9' can te== you eCact=y when the conscious >ind gives u<# (his is not rocket s cience5: says &how>
ick# 9'ts usua==y about two > inutes and ten s econds in#: And &how>ick describes a scenario where
one >an faces two > en in the cage# )e te==s the first >an that the other two are going to be hitting
hi> for three > inutes# )es to defend and counter# (he good <art is that they wi== on=y be attacking
with one strike# (he bad ne ws is that they wi== strike hi> for the entire three > inutes# Whether or not
hes defending hi>se=f# 9(he first > inute >ost guys are <retty ga>e# (he second > inute gets
tougher5 and then about two > inutes and ten s econds in5 his conscious thinking Lust sto<s and he
either starts to us e what weve taught hi> or 7: )e trai=s off5 and then ' re> e>ber the doggy door#
9(he idea is that if you fight fro> where the conscious > ind is5 youre Lust trying to think your way
through instead of A-('! your way through it# 'ns tead of doing it#: &how> ick c=ears his throat# 9'
want to destroy that who=e Othinking <art of the <rocess and get straight to doing5 and the wa y that
you do that5 the way that you get to that is by dri==ing down beyond the cons cious >ind to where the
rea= =earning ha<<ens/ the subconscious >ind# "o>eti>es you have to do things one hundred ti>es 7
one thousand ti>es 7 through fatigue or stress 7 unti= that beco>es the thing that you auto>atica==y
do#:
&ut stunt> en routine=y ridicu=e those stunt> an s choo=s and those that co>e fro> the># 's it <os
sib=e that a=though this is the way hes teaching5 this is not the way tha t he =earned0 Which is to say/
We== do what you s ay5 but what did Y%U do0 Which is when it co>es#
9We==5 when ' was knife-fighting in the s treets of -a=cutta 7 :
(his is a =ead-in that works no > atter what kind of <arty youre going to# !o > atter where youre
going with it#
9When ' was knife-fighting in the s treets of -a=cutta 7 : And he <u==s u< his s =eeve to s how a dark
cicatriC on his right wrist5 where5 he c=ai> s5 knives have co> e to <=ay# 9' knew that un=ike the s<orts
co><etitor who knows if he doesnt win that he Lust goes ho> e a =oser5 ' was i><ressed by the fact
that ' >ight not go ho>e at a== if ' was not <ro<er=y >otivated#:
And we have to digress u<on digression becaus e of the <arty =ine thats sti== got > e hooked# Knife-
fighting in the s treets of -a=cutta5 indeed#
1T
&how> ic ks fa> i=y =ife in -a=cutta was as far fro> the &=ack )o=e as far cou=d be# 9' never touched
a <=ate5 not to get it to the tab=e nor to c=ean u< after ' had eaten# We had servants#:
Perha<s the <rofi=e of the -a=cutta knife-fighter#
9We==5 ' a=s o used to go to the schoo=5 "t# 1a> es5 in -a=cutta# 't was a -hristian s choo=#:
-hristian -a=cutta knife-fighter# "orry# ,y correction#
9't was actua==y across the s treet fro> where ,other (eres a had her <=ace# And ' used to go over there
and he=< out5 and whi=e being there ' trie d to understand why we had so > uch whi=e the se others had
s o =itt=e# !o one cou=d give >e any answers that > ade sense to >e 7 but ' knew that if ' cou=d do
so> ething to sto< it5 or to so> ehow > ake it okay5 we==5 'd be fu=fi==ing a kind of des tiny# And this
fo==owed > e >y who=e =ife# "o ' got into =ots of fights Lust because 7 we==5 there are two ty<es of
<eo<=e# ( hose who wa=k by <rob=e>s 5 and the other kind# ' was
the other kind#:
W )' *E ,Y K !' FE E!(*Y WEEP " 7
( he occas ion was a se> inar# ( he se>inar was an invite-on=y affair# ECce<t the invites were not
written5 nor > ai=ed5 but s<oken in a gent=e as ide5 fu== of the sort of underwor=d understate> ent
that >akes one > an > istake an 9%kay5 now youre dead: for an 9%kay#:
9'> going to have a s<ecia= c=ass # You shou=d co> e5: !ir> a=ya &how>ick said in fadeaway5
as he busied hi> se=f with so> e stuff behind his des k# ' heard itD the strategic use of the word
9shou=d#: And so there ' was =ater5 gathered in a tight knot of othersD co<s5 > aybe >ercs5 er5
9> i=itary contractors 5: with no weekend warriorage anywhere to be s een#
?"ee Wa=ter "a==es c=assica==y underrated A rande Arte5 1II15 for a fi=> ic5 and a=beit sty=iAed
=ook into the finer <oints of what it *%%K" =ike@# ( he s ubLect at hand/ knife fighting# )ow to5 what to
use# !o > ention of the W)Y5 eCce<t it was s ort of si=ent=y ass u> ed/ you had no other choice#
And because you have no other choice5 there you are =ooking at a knife# Whi=e any knife can be used
for fighting5 s ort of =ike any rock you can ho=d in your hand is a rock you can throw5 there are better
knives and worse
1T
knives to use if you want to use it and =ive to us e it again# Again/ if you have !% %()E$ choice#
K!'FE/ A b=ade with a nice ricassoD the unshar<ened <ortion of the b=ade right above the hand=e
D is a good <=ace to s tart to get a gri< on an edged wea<on you do not want to =ose# A finger twisted
around the knifes ricass o ?' s<orted >ine a== white-ta<ed-u<@ s=ows the >ove>ent of the knife out of
your hand5 or out of <osition in your hand# 'f the hand=e is s=ight=y rubberiAed ?stay awa y fro> woods 5
cera> ics5 and other things5 =ike stone5 or <=as tic5 that s =ide too easi=y@ a== the better# And whi=e si=ver a
nd s tain=ess- stee= hand=es and b=ades are good for the >ovies 5 with a darker b=ade and the right kind
of =ight5 <eo<=e > ight even think you were Lust dancing5 instead of what it is you >ay rea==y be doing/
fighting for your =ife in a batt=e you want to see finis hing# Keywords/ Y%U 7 WA!( 7 (% 7 be
a=ive to "EE #
%h5 and on=y use a four-inch b=ade or shorter if you Lus t want to <=ay# 't takes s o> ething =onger than
four inches to get through a== the fascia5 chest >usc=es5 and rib cage5 and into the heart#
"(Y*E/ Fi=i<inos have a kick-ass s tick fighting art5 escr i>a5 which can easi=y be >odified to
inc=ude knives# ECce<t5 according to &how> ick5 9knives are used different=y than you use a s
tick#: &ecaus e sticks rare=y <ierce5 or at =east take too >uch effort to do so with your garden-variety
stick5 they sto< 7 whereas knives <ierce and Lust kee< going# &ut the
1T
> echanics are si> i=ar# * ets view the body =ike an 4Dtwo ar>s in the air5 two =egs on the ground# 'F
you want to <=ay5 this is a== that >atters # 'f you want to b=eed so>eone out s====oooowwwww# Ar>
attacks and =eg attacks are good# U<ward s=ashing >aneuvers with the knife tucked underneath
toward your =itt=e finger are good when the <erson youre fighting has no knife ?we aint going to ask@#
&ut if the <erson youre fighting )A" a knife0 Yeah5 you wanna go West "ide "tor y and ho=d the knife
forward5 finger twisted around the ricasso5 and think about counting to four5 s ince the fourth button on
a button-down shirt is where you need to go to sto< a heart# Which is our thorough=y gentee= way of
saying5 ice the > otherfucker5 whether hes wearing a button-down5 a (- shirt5 or no shirt at a==# !ot s
=as hing ?<=ay ti> e@ but stabbing ?work ti> e@# (heres a big difference# And a =ot of ti>es5 that has
everything to do with what youre going to say when its over ?if youre a=ive to say anything at a==@# 'n
short/ if you had to ki== hi> 5 > ake sure thats a )A. to ki== hi> # %r youre =ike=y to have > any >ore
occasions5 on the shower-roo> side of your =oca= <enitentiary5 to <ractice your fine new art#
() E WE' $. UP") %(/ "tabbing <eo<=e is5 a<<arent=y5 a co> <=ete=y wi=d sensation5 as
sensations go# 9We==5 were a== used to our hands obeying certain natura= =aws when we use the> #: (he
s<eaker5 a fe==ow <artici<ant5 is neither s tocky nor i> <os ing# ,uch > ore =ike a -=int Eas twood#
$angy# And not so wi==ing to be '.d for Kuotes =ike this / 9Were used to our hands
1T
s to<<ing when they co> e to a chest5 es<ecia==y fighters 5 striking-arts guys# &ut when you stab
so>eone your hand Lus t >oves right through the>5 it fee=s =ike# $ight on through#: And with a wrist
f=ouris h he >oves his hand toward > y s ternu> 5 detours around > y rib cage5 and ta<s >e on the
back#
9*ike > agic#:
( he other kind5 who <rior to the s treet scra<<ing wandered into a restaurant at eight or nine years o=d
and tracked down the (hai cook who he had heard knew >uay thai and started on a road that had
hi> at the ,uang "urin ca>< in &angkok# (he road that =ed to studying with .entharonee
,uang "urin and "ensak ,uag "urin ?the na> es <robab=y wont > atter to you but know that thes e
are Lust so>e > ore > en who cou=d ki== you as Kuick=y as they cou=d =ook at you@# (he road that had
hi> <icking u< Pas htun5 Urdu5 !e<a=i5 )indi5 and Eng=ish# And <robab=y the s e=fsa> e road that
rewarded his scho=arshi< in the b=ood arts with a ca== fro> a fa>i=y friend in the 'ndian ,inis try of
.efense5 and a s ubs eKuent invo=ve> ent with inte==igence work#
And this is where he =eans toward > e and asks >e to turn off the ta<e recorder and in tota= =ife-and-
death fas hion as ks > e to be circu> s<ect about what ' say fro> here on out# )e cou=d get in troub=e#
&ut >ore i> <ortant=y5 ' c ou=d get in troub=e#
* ike the kind of troub=e you got into in &ur> a0 9%h# You re>e> ber that0:
%f course ' did# ,y ass ociation with &how> ick goes back fifteen years5 to when he was o<e
rating as an occasiona= ge> de a=er and fu==-ti> e >uay thai ins tructor# (he ge> thing see> ed a
curious conceit# &ut what ' ca==ed a conceit he ca==ed a cover5 and that5 co>bined with the >artia= arts5
a==owed hi> to trave= and train fighters in the art of fighting and other5 u>5 9stuff5: you know0 And as
=uck wou=d have it5 there he was in &ur> a# (raining students# And thats the way he says it5 students#
!o Kuotes around that wordN in fact5 no Kuotes around a=> ost everything ' think shou=d have Kuote s
around it5 which is a=>ost everything hes said since he started hinting around the who=e 9-'A
o<erative: tri<# &ut ' > ust assu> e that they were rea= card-carrying s tudents and that we havent
s=i<<ed into the inte==igence-co>> unity rabbit ho=e where everyones a 9freedo> fighter: and words
never see> to >ean what they say#
9' was training thes e s tudents and back then there was =ots of unres t and one of the s tudents ca==ed
>e one day to say that he had heard that the &ur> ese secret <o=ice were going to <ay > e a vis it
because ' gues s s o> e of > y students ha<<ened to be Karens# Freedo> fighters#:
!o going back to the hote= to co==ect his be=ongings# !o <as sing % and co==ecting Z8TT# 1ust
beating it out of .odge# And5 of course5 that =ast-> inute twist
1T
that >akes >ovies so > ovie-=ike/ a forgotten5 >uch-needed addres s book#
9' ca==ed back to the hote= and they to=d >e that the address book was there5 but that so>e govern>ent
agents of so>e kind had been there5 and so ' =eft# Without it# And have actua==y never been back#:
"o it goes# *ater tri<s to .ubai# And even > ore than that# ( he stuff between the e==i<s es fro> the s
ecured server <art of the -UP', website/ 9.oAens of c=andestine inte==igence o<erations5 counter-
terroris> ass ign>e nts and high risk <rotection o<erations s <read over 8T <=us countries throughout
his career#:
Perfect#
(he trick was to get those who fought not for fun but for kee<s to ta=k about fighting for kee<s without
drawing undue and distinct=y unhea=thy associations with the nature of inter<ersona= strugg=e and thos
e who <rofes siona==y engage in
s uch ?and without getting the> arrested@#
"% Y% U2E &EE! "(A&&E./
"' !" Y% U ,AY ) A2E *%"( A F' )(
9'f a foC is chasing a hare you have two funda>enta==y different ways of viewing the sa> e event/ the
foC is thinking very > uch about dinner# (he hare is thinking about his =ife# And with these co> e
different sets of > otivations and >ethods#:
!ir>a=ya &how>icks knife-fighting s e>inar Aeroes in on those differing > ethods of dea=ing with
edged wea<ons in a conf=ict that > ight see no interfering ref5 no ti>ed rounds5 and no do-overs#
9You > ust think =ike the hare# And the nu>ber-one thing you >ust think5 as we== as s ay to yourse=f5 if
you find yours e=f in a knife fight5 the one thing that > ight save your =ife5 is your unders tanding that (
%.AY Y%U W'** &*EE . A *'((* E#
9(his way you wont be so sur<rised when it ha<<ens#: And it see> s =ike5 at =eas t on the streets of
-a=cutta5 where &how>ick c ut his teeth5 a=>ost =itera==y5 it wi== ha<<en# 9A knife is Lus t an eCtension
of your hand# Part of your ar># "o if so>eone can touch you in a fight5 if they have a knife they can
cut you# 'n fact5 'd rather face a > an with a gun than a >an with a knife any day# &ecause a > an with
a gun >ight > iss# A > an with a knife wi==
1T
a=ways cut you#
&ut you== do okay if you/
1# Acce<t that you wi== b=eed#
8# ,aintain a >iss ion-oriented co> >it>ent#
M# )ave a <hi=os o<hica= idea =is> 5 or5 so>e wou=d say5 faithN and
;# Use aggressive a<<roaches with better techniKue to win the day#
.a=e -arnegie cou=dnt have said it better#
&ut even this was a =oaded thicket# *t# -o=# .avid ros s>an in his sensitive=y tit=ed to> e %n Ki==ing/
(he Ps ycho=ogica= -ost of *earning to Ki== in War and "ociety ?1IIE@ states that in any given
<o<u=ation a certain <ercentage of <re- eCis ting <sychotics wi== be ca<ab=e of carrying fighting
we== beyond the <ara> eters of s<ort into ki==ing# And do so whi=e suffering nary a negative side effect
Dhence the <sychotic <art# (his s ubgrou<5 =es s than H <ercent5 he ru=es out of serious consideration5
averaged out with the <acifists5 before he <roceeds with his hand-wringing <re> ise that ki==ing is
unnatura =#
&how>ick s> i=es # 9( heres a difference between a co>bat s<ecia=is t and a <sychotic# &ut if you
give > e ten >en ' can turn fifty <ercent into ki==ers#: Usefu=5 ' guess 5 if ki==er and fighter sit a=ong the
sa> e continuu> 7 but5 in &how>icks case it see> s5 at =eas t so far as he wi==ing to ad> it5
his actions have been <rotective in nature# For ins tance5 the <ub=ic face of his university is
,ichae= -orcoran5 for>er "ecret "ervice > an5 <ur<orted=y on <res identia= detai= the day that $eagan
got shot# (hese guys are taking s hots5 not giving the> #
&ut then ' a> re>inded of the wi=d=y seesawing ang=e of attack on both of thes e# After *arry F=ynt
got s hot and <ara=yAed5 security in his Wi=s hire &ou=e vard redoubt was >us cu=ar and s tructured the
way good security is usua==y structured/ <resent but not too <res ent# ( hen-eCecutive editor A==an ,
ac.one== was escorting >e through the offices5 where ' was >eeting hi> to discuss >y first artic=e for
)us t=er/ a <otboi=er about co==ections thugs# ' asked about *arrys security and ,ac.one== s aid
significant=y5 9(hey do a rea= good Lob of <rotecting *arry fro> bad things # "o> eti> es they
<rotect hi> fro> bad things before they even ha<<en#: And it hung there in the air5 Lust =ike
thatD an odd and swinging ad>iCture of ying and yang#
"o it goes with &how>icks career arc/ a )indu in a -hris tian schoo= who was attracted to &uddhis> 5
>uay thai5 the righting of wrongs 5 the wronging of rights
7 study on the 1a<anese $ed Ar> y5 &aader , einhof5 the P*%5 and then a s udden su<erhero-esKue
desire to stand against the i==s #
1T
&ut when ' <ara<hrase that =ine fro> the !icho=as -age f=ick *or d of W ar 5 that every thug with a
gun and a drea> ca==s hi> se=f a 9freedo> fighter5: he Lust s >i=es# 9'n .arLee=ing in the =ate 1JTTs
there was a > onastery5 and the > onks there be=ieved that =ife is i> <er> anent5 death is unavoidab=e5
and trying to do s o> ething good cos ts a =ot#:
)ow >uch0
)e s> i=es and te==s > e to co> e back if ' have any further Kues tions5 and so ' do# ' ca== back severa=
ti> es and hes out of country5 and busy5 or in the country and busy# ' get a ho=d of hi> one >ore ti> e
and hes cordia= as cordia= can be5 but when ' > ake a >ove to a sk > y fo==ow-u< Kues tions hes =ike
Kuicksi=ver unti= ' rea=iAe that '5 in actua= fact5 a=ready have >y answer/ a =ot#
F ' )(E$ " ' ! ()E ! EW " 7 F %$ "% ,E()' ! %()E$ ()A ! -A E F ' )(' !
(i>es % n=ine
1une 8E5 8TTE
-A E F' ) (E$ )E* . %2E$
[HM ,'**' %! K E!( $%&&E$Y
&y Ada> F resco
A >an arrested in ,orocco in connection with &ritains bigges t cash robbery was today na>ed as >a
rtia= arts eC<ert *ee ,urray#
,r ,urray5 who is be=ieved to have been under s urvei==ance for severa= weeks 5 was detained in the
ca<ita= $abat yesterday on s us <icion of kidna< and robbery#
Kent <o=ice a=so revea=ed that two > en had been arres ted on Friday in connection with >
oney =aundering# (hey s aid that a 9significant a>ount: of > oney had been recove red but
refused to confir> re<orts that it was [1 > i==ion#
(he >oney was s ti== being counted and forens ica==y eCa> ined today to s ee if it was connected to the
[HM >i==ion "ecuritas raid in (onbridge5 Kent5 four > onths ago#
,oroccan <o=ice swoo<ed on the sus<ect5 who is known as * ee 9*ightning: ,urray5 whi=e he was
with other > en near the ,ega ,a== in the "ouis i dis trict#
,r ,urray5 8E5 is a we==-known cage fighter5 who has a<<eared on te=evision# -age fighting is a >
iCture of kick boCing and wres t=ing in which contestants fight in a cage#
,r ,urray5 who is fro> the "outh *ondon area5 near=y died =ast year when he was stabbed outside a *
ondon nightc=ub#
.etective "u<erintendent Pau= =ads tone5 Kent Po=ice s head of "erious and
1T
,aLor -ri>e5 said that the UK wou=d now be seeking ,r ,urrays eCtradition# &ritain has no for>a=
eCtradition treaty with ,orocco5 so wou=d have to > ake a
s <ecia=5 one-off reKuest# ( he =ast eCtradition fro> ,orocco to &ritain was in
1IIH#
"<eaking outside Kent Po=ice )35 ,r =ads tone said/ 9At ;#MT<> yesterday ,oroccan <o=ice
officers arrested a 8E-year-o=d > an5 *ee ,urray5 of "idcu<5 "outh * ondon5 near the ,ega ,a==
sho<<ing centre in the ca<ita= city5 $abat#
9)e was arrested for robbery5 kidna< and other offences =inked to the [HM > i==ion "ecuritas raid in
(onbridge5 Kent5 in February#
9(he arrest was > ade with the authority of the -rown Pros ecution "ervice5 Kent Po=ice and the
,oroccan authorities# ( he > an is in cus tody in $abat a nd the United Kingdo> is now s eeking
eCtradition#
9We are gratefu= for the he=< of the ,oroccan authorities and Foreign and
-o> >onwea=th %ffice in this > atter#
9(his =atest deve=o<>ent is <art of our ongoing inves tigation and our inKuiries continue#
9We are aware that so>e > edia are re<orting that a further [1 > i==ion cas h has been recovered5
=inked to the "ecuritas robbery#
9Working with "urrey and )a> <s hire Po=ice5 we did arrest a nu>ber of <eo<=e in "urrey and )a> <s
hire on Friday and have now charged two > en5 fro> .evon and )a><shire5 with the offence of
>oney =aundering# A s ignificant a> ount of cas h was recovered#
9)owever5 we are not ab=e to confir> the a> ount at this s tage or =ink the cash to the robbery or any
s i>i=ar cri> e# ( he > oney is now being counted and forensica==y eCa> ined#:
Five > en and two wo>en have a=ready been charged in connection with the robbery and are due to
a<<ear in court neCt >onth#
$aiders netted [HM511E5RET in the ear=y hours of February 88# ,ost of the cash is sti== > issing#
?htt</BBww w#ti>eson=ine#co#uk@
1;
F%U $
1A'*)%U"E $%-K
&U**")' ( F' ) ( "( Y*E0 % $ () E "%U!. &A"'" F %$ P $% (E-('! Y% U$ A"" F$%
, ()% "E
W )% W %U*. &E!EF' ( F$% , '(" A $E""'2E E4P*% '(A('% ! W )'*E *%-K E.
.%W !0
)e ratt=es off the na> es =ike s <orts tea>s/ -hino5 "an 3uentin5 Pe=ican &ay5 Fo=s o> 5 "o=edad# )e5
being s<ecifica==y Eddie Wi==ia> s# &ack to hi> =ater# $ight now '> > ore a> aAed that theres no
>ention of %A anywhere in there# Possib=y because5 you s ee5 %A was a (2 s how about a <=ace where
> en go to get dri==ed in the ass for cri> es against society# ( hose others > entioned are !%!-
fictiona=5 the 'vy *eague of West -oas t <e nitentiaries 5 Lust <=aces where >en go to get dri==ed in the
ass for one reason and one re ason on=y/ they didnt fight =ong enough5 hard enough5 and5 u=ti> ate=y5
%%. enough to kee< F$%, getting ass -dri==ed#
&ut this > idd=e-c=as s <reoccu<ation with > an-on-> an titi==ation is about > ore than underc=ass c=ass
=us t5 though# 'ts about a =ot >ore# For >en# For wo>en it > ight be Lust the Loy of a =itt=e te=evised
rough trade with we==-> us c=ed >en doing what we==->usc=ed > en do when there are no wo> en
around to do it to# &ut for >en5 for >odern > en se<arated fro> rites and ritua=s that s et off the
boyhood years fro> the horrib=e sa> enes s of everything that everybody e=se is doing5 uns<oken
<ris on fantasies have > uch > ore to do with figuring eCact=y what kind of a > an you are# Where
eCact=y you fit on the <redator-<rey s ca=e of Lung=e <o=itics# Where with very =itt=e e=se other than your
hands ba==ed into fists5 and > aybe an occasiona= s hank5 you wi== be ca==ed on to fight =ike you >ean it#
(his is as far fro> s<orts fighting as you > ight ever want to get5 and an order of >agnitude away fro>
s hady -'A o<eratives fired u< into ins ane action by the good fight# (his is the inferno end of the
fight s<ectru>5 where =osses are > easured in a kind of des <oi=ing on=y drea>ed about in 7 we==5
a<<arent=y in > idd=e-c=as s =iving roo> s a== over A>erica5 Ludging by %As <o<u=arity# A <ris on fight
boi=s down to this/ your right and abi=ity to s e=f-define as a >a n# %r5 > ore s <ecifica==y5 to se=f-define
as a > an who doesnt have to bend over when hes to=d to#
1;
' was being fu==y > indfu= of this when ' got a ca== fro> *A fi=> > aker ,ike )ore=ick# )is biggest
c=ai> to fa>e was a dark=y co> ic and > obbed-u< version of (he -rying a>e ca==ed ,ob 3ueen
that starred a =ot of the guys who =ater a<<eared in (he "o<r anos5 as we== as 7 you got it 7 ( he %ne
(i> e reat White )eavyweight )o<e5 erry -ooney# ,ikes Kuestion5 9)ave you ever heard of
Lai=house rock0:
And '> racking > y brain and co>ing u< with nothing but "choo=hous e $ock5 that "aturday-
>orning A&- te=evision <aean to the substandard Kua=ity of A> erican <ub=ic s choo= education#
9!o5 no5 Lai=house rock is this su<er-secret schoo= of fighting <erfected in the nations <ris ons# 'ts
su<<osed to be5 no <un intended5 ki==er#: )ore=ick rings off and '> thinking5 9">e==s =ike bu==shit to
>e#: ' >ean5 with a== the boCers who are eC-cons5 how co>e 've never heard of it0 )ow co>e
&ernard )o<kins in his > uch-ba==yhooed ta=es of toasting bread with f=ash=ight batteries <rison-side
never gave a shout-out to the 9dreaded and dead=y: Lai=hous e rock0
't is now * A( E$/ Eddie Wi==ia> s started working in <ena= in 1IRI# Wrest=ing at both 1EJ and 1RM in
Lunior high schoo=5 high s choo=5 Lunior co==ege5 and at "an 1 os e "tate5 Wi==ia> s got into the gig
during a rough ti> e# Post-2ietna>5 <re-<ost- trau> atic -stress-disorder-diagnos is 5 and a coked-u<
discod-out sty=e of =ife had hi> =iving *a 2ida Edgy
9' was stuck in there5 working5 with so>e high=y vo=ati=e cats5: says Wi==ia> s whose <resentation has
a== the =as ting ear>arks of <rison <aranoia/ standing at your side when he ta=ks5 eyes scanning the
,c.ona=ds <arking =ot where were > eeting# 9' re> e>ber >y first ti>e in# Peo<=e used to want to
get busted in "an Francisco since "an Francis co had the re<utation as being =enient# (heyd co>> it
1;
a cri>e in %ak=and and drive =ike craAy to get bus ted in "an Francisco# 9Anyways5 ' was wa=king this
guy to the ce== and ' see >y bos s <a cing back
and forth behind this c ounter# )e =ooks u< at > e as ' wa=k down this ha== with this
<ris oner and hes fucking FU,'!# *ike ' can a=>ost s ee s> oke co> ing out of his head# ' ge t the
<risoner in his ce== and when ' get back to the des k he starts s crea> ing at > e OW)A( ( )E
FU-K .% Y%U ( )'!K Y%U$E .%'!5 W'**'A, "06060 Y%U "%,E K'!.A
,A'($E FU-K'! .0606 "($%**'! ( )$%U) ( )E PA$K W'() ( )E
"E P$'-K ,%()E$ FU-KE$"06060 *'"( E! 7 the very neCt ti>e you wa=k s o>ebody down
that ha== you Lack hi> the fuck u<# *et hi> K!%W hes been "%,EW)E$E666:
,oving on fro> here to 9&ehavior Ass au=t (ea> s5: ce== eCtraction s <ecia=ties5 and his =ast gig
before going into his <resent <rivate busines s of <risoner trans <ort5 Wi==ia>s ended u< at the
<=eas ant=y5 if unofficia==y na>ed <=ace ca==ed ( he & irdcage in *a )onda5 -a=ifornia# $esidence of
!ei= Young and uthries A=ices $es taurant# Yeah5 incongruities abound# &ut ' <ut it to hi>/
1ai=house
rockD stunning=y effe ctive fighting s ty=e or Lust stunning=y effective fiction0
() E A!A(% ,Y %F A P$' "% ! F' )( F$%, () E !% !-&U"' !E"" E!. %F ()E -E**
A Kuiet <rison is a dangerous <rison/ 9' start > y shift and ' want to hear the chatter# ' want to hear
O,otherfucker this and that# 'f ' .%!( hear that when ' get to work ' know to s te< =ight=y and
=ive=y#:
War> c=othes on a war> day/ 9'f ' s tart s eeing a guy wearing a== of his c=othes 5 ' know so> ethings
going to Lu> < off# (hey== wear everything they own5 <ack in so>e news<a<ers5 >aybe a <hone book#
' > ean5 hand-to-hand in here wi== >uch > ore =ike=y than not invo=ve s hanks# 'f you get s tuck5 by the
ti>e we get shit =ocked down you cou=d very we== b=eed out#:
Yard fights are different fro> ce== fights/ 9(he s<ace out in the yard offers greater <ossibi=ities 5 and the
few ti> es 've seen =ots of kicks us ed it was here# And theyd use the kicks to s et u< so> ething
e=s e# Usua==y a takedown# &ut yard fights are a different a ni> a= since your ti> e-to-sto<<age is >uch
s horter5 so its a== about caus ing as > uch da>age as <ossib=e as Kuick=y as <ossib=e# ' re>e> ber this
=itt=e *atino dude# )e was in there for
1;
three ins ide contract hits# )e was in there for =ife5 and there had been a== of this antici<ation before he
got there# We==5 he s hows u< and he =ooked =ike a gardener# "o ' wondered what the dea= was# $ead his
fi=e a bit > ore c=ose=y and fro> the =ooks of it and as far as ' cou=d te== he had hands =ike =ightning#
2ery fas t hands# )e had stabbed one guy thirteen ti> es in the yard before anybody knew what had
ha<<ened# 's that what theyre ca==ing OLai=hous e rock0 Probab=y not# )ard to s e== videos of ca<ita= c
ri>es #:
W e==5 no5 no its not# &ut we== =et that s=ide#
F ight fast/ 9Five feet across and seven feet dee< is a <retty fas t ring# What 've s een and5 kee< in >
ind if '> s eeing it5 and if '> doing >y Lob5 ' shou=d be doing so>ething to sto< it# &ut what 've s
een has guys > oving in with s traight <unches to bac k so>eone u< on their hee=s and then us ua==y
into a doub=e-=eg take-down that== end with <unches to the =osers face#
$e<eated=y#:
9We==5 've never heard of it insofar as 've been ab=e to observe over twenty- seven years of doing
this5: and youre re>inded that the stocky5 not-a-day-over- forty-=ooking Wi==ia> s is <robab=y o=der
than you think# 9&ut ' can te== you what 've seen#:
And <eo<=e are co> ing and going in this <arking =ot5 occas iona==y giving us the stink eye# Years on
gang detai= and doing undercover work has Wi==ia> s vibing 9con: significant=y enough that he sti==
gets sto<<ed and routine=y rousted before they find his badge#
9Whynt you te== us you were a co<0: 9You didnt ask#:
And you get the sense that he wou=dnt anyway# W hat is it0 Probab=y the sa>e thing that >akes a >an
want to work with those for who> stabbing is a good career > ove#
9&ut you know5 '> <robab=y the wrong <erson to ta=k to# (he ga> e has changed5: he s ays
ruefu==y# 9!o one wants to bang any>ore# 'ts a== about the <oking# "o its not =ike you rea==y get to see
any good fights any>ore# And =ike ' said5 when ' show u<5 the dancing us ua==y sto<s# &ut ' got an A&
you >ight want to ta=k to 7 :
An A&0
9Yeah5 you know5 a wood<i=e guy#:
1;
And s udden=y ' fee= =ike 9(he White uy: in so>e street-sty=e s tage <=ay where you get a== the
handshakes wrong and ca== the wrong <eo<=e 9nigga#:
A wood<i=e guy0
9Yeah# You know5 a <eckerwood# Aryan &rotherhood#: *ong way to go for that# 9)es about siC-five5
8MT <ounds# !ow5 )E =iked to bang# And if anybodys heard of OLai=house rock its hi> #:
And he knows youre b=ack0
Wi==ia>s =ooks at >e5 Lust a f=as h5 a f=ash tha t says 5 yes5 you A$E stu<id# &ecause as s trange as
that > ight see> to us on the outs ideD Aryan &rotherhood hanging with b=ack co<Dinside the wa==s5
where the uneasy a==iance between *a ,es a5 the &=ack ueri==a Fa>i=y5 the tongs 5 *a Fa>ig=ia a==
hangs together on no s ounder <rinci<=es than any you > ight find in cor<orate A>erica ?9because its
A** &U"'!E "":@5 it cou=d Lust be the > ost universa= organiAing <rinci<=e of a== at work he re/
<roCi>ity# %r necessity# %r convenience#
9Yeah# )e knows ' a> b=ack#:
And hes a== right with ,E being b=ack0
9We== ' guess you== find out#:
And with that it was over# For hi>#
Aryan &rotherhood# 1esus )# 'f ' dont get info on the fight ga>e5 at =eas t '
> ight very we== get a fight out of it#
Yu<# 1ust what ' need# !o# "erious=y#
% ) (%,,Y &% Y5 () E P' PE5 ()E P'PE '" -A**'!
First the <hone ca==s#
(he dise> bodied voices on the <hone trying to fee= their way around a sha<e5 or for> 5 off in the ether#
)is 0 "ort of a s e>i-non-accented -a=ifornia brogue/ eKua= <arts beach boy and thin strains of %kie#
(his cou=d have been a <ris on affectationN this cou=d be the <o<u=arity of 1 eff FoCworthyN but if '>
=istening for s igns of a raving Aryan ideo=ogue5 and '> not sure ' a>5 '> not hearing it# ' A,
=istening5 funda>enta==y the way a== >en =is ten to other > en5 for the te==ta=es of their <=ace in s <ace
and that uns<oken answer to the Kuestion were a== a=ways as king5 even if were not ad>itting it to
ourse=ves5 or each other/ -an ' take hi>0 .o ' need to0 (he badinage is easy and '> hearing about his
recent gig bodyguarding for trave=ing stri<<ers and <aranoiac Persia ns with <res sing business in
PhoeniC5 "an .iego5 and (iLuana ?hey 7 dont ask5 dont te==@ unti= ' =ay it on the =ine#
Wi== he ta=k about =ife in the Loint0
And you can fee= his eyes narrow# .es<ite his a<<arent o<ennes s5 after four
1;
years on an eight-year bid for a wide variety of > a=feasances5 fro> firear>s 5 to brandishing afore>
entioned firear>s in <ub=ic5 to5 fina==y5 drug se==ing5 buying5 and <osses sion5 he wants to be sure
eCact=y what it is that ' a> as king#
.o you have any interest in discuss ing this <ossib=e red herring of a fight s ty=e5 Lai=-house rock0 %r
fighting in <rison in genera=0
9,eet >e ( ues day at three-thirty o=ds y>#:
Easy enough#
o=ds y> 8TTE is a far cry fro> the cinderb=ock base> ent gy>s of the RTs 5 which is where it
see> s =ike we s hou=d >eet5 a== eC<osed <i<e and rusted ironN its even a far cry fro> what founder 1oe
o=d had bui=t down in 2enice5 contiguous to ,usc=e &each and the boardwa=k hust=er cu=ture# Yeah5
its the )ouse ( hat Pete &ui=t# Pete ry>kowski is the > an wide=y credited with franchising it and
turning it into sort of the <rototy<ica= fern bar that it is today# &ut a<<earances can be deceiving5 and
as ' wend > y way between the eCercise enthus ias ts 5 s KueeAing in a fas t set of abs5 ' note that it
is M/8J and that guys who have s<ent any ti> e at a== in the Loint see> rare=y to be =ate and so ' work >
y way to the g=ass doors because ' =ike to be ear=y5 if not on ti> e5 and ' =ike seeing the> before they
see >e#
And when ' do5 ' > ake (o> >y Ke==as right away# !ot becaus e he vibes <enitentiary5 because
he doesnt# We==5 >aybe Lus t a =itt=e# &ut because hes bui=t for it# ' > ean centra= casting bui=t for it# (o
>y eye5 hes >uch s horter than the
<revious=y c=ai> ed EFHG# )es <robab=y about an even EF5 but hes a=so a =ot
heavier than the c=ai> ed 8MT# ,aybe 8RT <ounds of reddened5 ba=d-headed5 tattooed >usc=e5
about thirty-seven years o=d# As he >oves to s te< <a st > e ' try to b=ock his <ath unti= were standing
face-to-face#
(o>> y0
9%h5 hey5 >an# )ow are you0: )e ho=ds u< his fist for > e to touch it with >y fist5 as his hands are fu==
of gy>-bag shit5 and so ' do# )es got to be the >ost affab=e Aryan ' have yet to > eet# When ' ask
hi> where he wants to do the interviewDin a> ongs t the <otted ferns or outs ideD he s ays 5 9' gotta
do so>e cardio firs t# '> 8IH now# .own fro> M;H# i>> e about forty > inutes#:
And so ' coo= > y hee=s whi=e he stationary-cyc=es his way to a new5 thinner hi>5 and when its over5
we head into the <arking =ot5 where we figure out his Lunk-stre wn <icku< truck is <roba b=y no <=ace to
s it5 so we >ove on over to >y ride#
And again/ "o is Lai=house rock bu==shit or what0
9We==5 ' never heard of it# And ' had a few fights when ' was in there#:
1;
' t didnt see> =ike a >an of his considerab=e weight and s trength wou=d have needed to fight5 though5
un=ess it was for a> use> ent#
9&ut ' was a &u==et#: And then he starts waving his hands through an eC<=anation of his ear=y ti> e
inside thats one that you dont usua==y hear# 9And ' was nt M;H when ' got there# ' was 88H with a== of
that fucking > eth# &ut ' b=ew u< <retty Kuick=y and then ' got a<<roached by a guy5 u>5 that they
ca==ed a Osecretary )es usua==y a guy thats been there a =ong ti> e# *onger than a=> os t everybody
e=se5 and he co> es u< to you ear=y on and he asks to s ee your <a<ers# !ow5 when youre in <rison you
have a== of the se <a<ers 5 <a<ers that ta=k about your ca se# ' s ti== have > ine# And this guy wi== as k
you for it and though he hi>s e=f is nothing to ins <ire fear in anybody you need to know that you
%(( A show the> your <a<ers because everybody needs to know5 and theyre going to find out
anyway5 what you did to get in there#
9"o ' s how hi> >y <a<ers5 and then ' get what they ca== O<ros<ected by A&#:
Aryan &rotherhood5 right0
9$ight# And you know if youre a white > an in <rison in AriAona5 which is where ' wasDthe (owers5
then in Yu> a5 and then in .oug=asD you dont have > any choices# 'ts either A&5 the )As X)e==s
Ange=sY5 the Woods5 s kinheads or !*$ X!aAi *ow $idersY 7 :
(hat sounds =ike =ots of choices to >e#
9We==5 the s kinheads are fucking 7 >an5 theyre boring# (heyre =ike &=ack ,us=i>s # %r
1ehovahs Witnesses or so> ething# 'f you aint riding with the Ange=s before getting there5 then
you aint getting in# (he !* $s are not so big# "o it was down to the A&s and the Woods# Which was
short for Peckerwoods# %r country boys #:
&ut whyd you choose A&0
9%h# ' didnt#:
,y inte= s ucks#
9And ' didnt because thos e guys are serious and it was a=so <retty c=ear that at s o> e <oint if you
were running with the>5 you were going to have to > urder s o> ebody# ( hes e guys were no
fucking Loke# &esides which theyre getting <hased out of >aLor institutions because theyve figured
out that when you have > ore than a few of the> together the <attern is the s a>e/ they start
organiAing5 then they start <ros<ecting5 and then <eo<=e s tart getting ki==ed# "o theyre
1;
breaking the> u< and s <reading the> out# &ut ' rea==y Lus t wanted to do > y bid and get the fuck out#
&ut even being a Wood5 there was a s hit=oad of ru=es #
9' >ean5 you see the way '> >oving > y hands now0 Whi=e '> ta=king to you0 (hat was a no-no# 'f '
was inside 'd be grabbing on to > y <ants Lust to kee< > y hands fro> >oving# Pretty > uch
everything that other grou<s did we did not do# We didnt ta=k =oud5 we didnt wave our hands when we
ta=ked# 'n fact once we had this kid in there who we started ca==ing E>ine> # )e had b=ond dyed hair5
the who=e bit# We==5 once we caught hi> watching &E (5 cuA he was into ra< and s hit and s o> eone
said5 O)ey (e== that >otherfucker no go# And so we did# And he was =ike O&ut ' *'KE the >usic5 >
an# And we to=d hi> no# &ut he ke<t doing it s o we had to >ove on hi># Put hi> in the hos<ita=# We
Lust cou=dnt have it#:
"o when you say that youre a &u==et5 that >eans 7
9We==5 yeah5 after ' Loined the car ' did5 the Woods 5 they Lust decided that 'd be a &u==et# And > y Lob
was to5 we== >y first Lob was to go to see this guy# !ow5 the s ecretary had asked this guy for his <a<ers
and ins tead of showing the> 5 the guy s aid5 O%h5 and then ca> e over to > e with this OAre you the
head white >an in charge here 0 "o>e guys asking >e for >y <a<ers6 ' to=d hi> that ' didnt know
what the fuck he was ta=king about but that if so>ebody wanted to see his <a<ers 5 > aybe he better
show the> his <a<ers#
9We==5 he didnt5 and so they sent > e and two other guys > y siAe with >e 7 and theres so> ething
you need to re> e>ber about <rison# (he bigges t dea= for > e whi=e ' was there5 was the fact that they
were on=y feeding >e about 15ETT to
15JTT ca=ories a day# Youre a big guy too5 so you gotta know that thats going to be tough# "o ' was
irritab=e a =ot of the ti> e# &ut they sent >e and two other guys with >e because this guy was hi>se=f
=ike MHT <ounds5 and when we hit his ce== we hit his fucking ce==#
9)e was in the to< bunk and we hit hi> right in his face as he scra> b=ed c=os er to the wa== and we
beat hi> out of that fucking bunk and he was crying and <issing and shitting a== over the <=ace# We
beat hi> good#:
.id you get a chance to see his <a<ers 0
9.a> ned straight# And we found out what the secretary had Lust sus<ected# ' > ean5 what kind of
guy doesnt want to show his <a<ers0 ' >ean5 what wou=d he be hiding0:
' dont know#
9( he fact that his cri>e was agains t kids # And he was saying when we were beating hi> 5 O' didnt
know how o=d she was 7 ' thought she was eighteen# Fuck that# (hose guys have a hard ti> e in there
because if youre in there and you got
1;
kids5 and youre stuck in there5 then you hate these guys# And the guards hate the># And ' >ean its
kind of fucked u< but if a guy is in there for ra<e and the wo>an is over age5 its not a big dea=# &ut
cri> es against kids and you get it fro> everybody#:
.id he fight bac k0
9!ah#:
Are there ways that he cou=d have fought back that wou=d have been effective considering the
five-by-se ven s<ace you a== were in and the fac t that there was over ha=f a ton of >an and >usc=e in
there0
9)onest=y0 )e had no chance# &ut genera==y >y sense is that there are a few things that wi== get you
through a Lai=-ce== scra< 7
1# 9'f you are a > otherfucker with a ki==er instinct5 an instinct to i><ose your wi==5 and =ots of heart5
you wi== do we==#:
8# 9Your basic high schoo= wrest=er0 '> <utting > y > oney on hi> # )es got a ninety-seven <ercent
chance of taking care of any situation he is in# )e can take a== the ang=es and take away a== the striking
<oints 5 and since what they s ay is true D> os t fights end u< on the groundD and theres not > uch
roo> to swing effective=y in a ce == anyway5 ' think wres t=ing is the best#: ?( o> > y is a for>
er high schoo= wrest=er#@
M# 9$e>e> ber that you got to use what you have/ sinks5 toi=ets5 and the edges of bunks are going to
be there anyway# You > ight as we== use the> #:
;# 9Knees # Your =egs are so>e of the strongest >usc=es in your body5 and your knee is one of the
hardes t <oints#:
9(hats the good news#
9(he bad news is/ nobody fights in <rison any> ore# 'n fact5 <eo<=e wi== think youre a <uss y 'F you
fight#:
And this is where they cue the cartoon wah-wah-wah >usic5 becaus e ' a> baff=ed#
9Yeah# %n a *eve= M yard5 which is one of the >ore serious yards where you can be5 if you start
fighting with so>ebody5 they== think you Lust did it because youre afraid of being in the yard and
are trying to use the fight to get out# A fight is nothing#:
"o whats the ha==>ark of <rison s urviva= >achis> o if not your wi==ingness
1;
to go toe-to-toe5 >ano-a->ano5 with another con0
9'ts your grabbing and sticking ski==s# And if youre an !*$ its your wi==ingne ss to5 and for
so> e reas on they go for this 7: and here (o>> y Ke==as chuck=es a hearty and dee< ru>b=e5 97 but
they =ike taking out eyes# &ut s ticking s o> eone5 es<ecia==y in a *eve= M yard5 where you >a y get s
hot for doing so5 is s ort of the u=ti> ate fuck you becaus e it s hows you dont care if you get shot5
teargas sed5 nothing#: And this for>er nose guard and defensive tack=e fro> "acra> ento "tate
actua==y =ooks we== re=ieved to be sitting in a car under a tree ta=king to >e about it vers us in that yard
with 9two hundred seventy-five <aint- huffing ,eCicans ready to shank you#
9' > ean5 dont get >e wrong5: though ' dont know how ' cou=d# 9(his is a bruta= fucking s yste>#
,arico<a -ounty# ( hey had us out there in 18T-degree heat wearing b=ack-and-white stri<es on 15ETT
ca=ories a day doing hard > anua= =abor# '> ta=king about hu>an rights vio=ations# -heck it out on the
'nternet#
9&ut you know5 when they =et >e out5 they =et > e out to a ha=fway hous e# Which is what they do5 the
ha=fway-house thing# And ' was in there with ,ark Kerr Xstoried u=ti>ate fighter and subLect of the
8TTM )&% docu> entary (he ">ashing , achineY# ' had 1U"( been watching hi> on (2# ' co> e
into the =iving roo> and there he is5 nodding out fro> so>e s ort of o<iate5 and its a c=ear
vio=ation of >y <aro=e to even be in the sa >e house with this shit#:
And now with a vision of the se>i-schoo=ed <rison knuck=er versus the we==- versed but c=ear=y high5
high-=eve= wrest=er and u=ti>ate fighter dancing in > y head5 ' ask5 =aden with eC<ectation/ "o0 What
ha<<ened06060
9' tried to wake hi> u< to te== hi> to get that s hit out of the house# &ut ' dont know that he ever heard
>e#:
We bu==s hit now for about thirty >inutes > ore5 but > y thoughts kee< returning to that which ' =east
eC<ected5 na> e=y/ the c=ear-cut <reference for wrest=ing as a fighting sty=e that E( " ( )'!"
.%!E#
Wrest=ing0
' eC<ected that about as > uch as ' eC<ected to hear hi> s ay >acra>U or origa> i# !ot that '
dont know =ots of badass wrest=ers5 but 7 and here ' rea=iAe what it is/ the LuCta<osition of the -a=vin
K=ein underwear >ode=s <u==ed fro> the 'owa wres t=ing <rogra> versus the %A-based >edia con# 'f
a== >edia is i>age <roLection and a== i> age <roLection is witchcraft5 itd be =ess than s u<erstitious of
>e to not as su>e that the recreationa= ath=ete wou=d =ose5 but there it was# (he godda> ned undis<uted
gos<e= truth# (he gra<<=er gets it# We==5 wed see about that#
We shake hands5 hands that he had to=d > e had broken not one but two <airs of handcuffs ?try it so> e
ti> e@5 and he > oves off5 serious as a fucking heart attack#
1;
1A ' *)%U " E $% -K 2" # $ %- K + $% **/ A , Y" (E$ Y F ' )(-" (Y*E F ' )(E$ .
E&U !K " () E .E&U ! KE$ "
9%h5 its not bu==shit at a==#: ( he s<eaker is 1 a>es Painter5 a siC-foot-ta==5 8JH- <ound 'ndian# "e=f-des
cribed# !o 9!ative A> erican: is> s for ,r# Painter# Was ho 'ndian5 northern !evada5 and at this <oint
in ti> e the one voice 've found '! ( )E %..A,!E. K!%W# And he knows/ that there is
indeed a s<ecific <ris on s ty=e of fight# .ont know why this see>s to > atter so >uch eCce<t we i>
agine that when a >an fights5 if he is )')* Y ,%('2A( E. to win that fight5 then the way he
fights > ight be s o> ething worth knowing# And know it5 des<ite his cons iderab=e s iAe and the
inherent ani>a=-brain resistance to charging s o> ething bigger than you5 he does#
9' was in *o><oc Prison on wea<ons vio=ations# &ut ' =earned it fro> a guy na> ed "ki< there# )e
was in for ki==ing s o> eone in a fight# "ki< was Aryan &rotherhood but when they found out he was
ha=f-'ndian =ike > e5 they kicked hi> out# &ut he taught > e a =ot about rock and ro==#:
$ock and $o==0 1ai=house $ock0 's one bu==shit but not the other0
1a>es Pa inter ?back5 right@ and his brothers-in-ar> s# %n ice#
1;
9Whats bu==shit is this H8 &=ocks dea=# (his is so> e s tuff by guys who have never been in <ris on#
-atching <unches in >idair and throwing kicks back at the> 7 thats bu==shit# ' never seen that and
certain=y never seen anything =ike that work# &ut the difference between Lai=house rock and rock and
ro== is that the &F X&=ack ueri==a Fa>i=yY started Lai=house rock as far as ' know# &F out of
-a=ifornia# $ock and ro== was a n Aryan &rotherhood dea=#:
And the differences0
9* ots of kicks and e=bows in Lai=house# $ock and ro== has > ore <ower <unching or what they ca==
<oint <unching# And =i>b destruction#: And whi=e theres so>e > u==ing over eCact=y how > any ways
one >ight des troy a =i> b5 he =aunches into where ta=k >eets <ractica= a<<=ica tion#
9When they > oved >e fro> *o> <oc5 which was a > aC security <rison5 to a > ediu> 5 "heridan in
%regon5 =ike right after ' got there a riot Lu> <ed off# (hese guards had beaten u< thes e &=ack ,us =i>
s and so we were =ocked down in our units 5 but not our ce==s5 and so s cores were being sett=ed and so>
e of the &=ack ,us=i>s wa nted to take it out on so> e of the white guys5 and so this guy 1effrey 1
efferson5 a &=ood fro> * A who was doing =ife for a drive-by s hooting5 ste<<ed u< and ' figured5 Ofuck
it# And ' ste<<ed u< too# !ow there are =ots of boCers in <ris on because boCing is the on=y thing they
=et you do in <ris on# ,artia= arts or any kind of <ractice of any kind of > artia= art outside of boCing
is as bad as having a s hank as far as theyre concerned# &ut knowing this5 ' Lust used this thing "ki<
taught > e that we ca==ed s =a <-grab-twist#:
*et > e gues s5 it invo=ves s=a<<ing5 grabbing5 and twisting0
(heres a si=ence and '> re>inded that snarky is not so>ething you <robab=y get a =ot of in the Loint#
(here is a tense beat wherein the advis abi=ity of kicking >y ass is <robab=y being cons idered#
9Yeah# ' s =a< the ba==s5 grab the ba==s 5 and twist the ba==s# 1efferson went down and then ' gouged his
eyes# At that <oint this eC-reen &eret na> ed "o=dier ste<s u<# )e had ki==ed s o> eone for >oney
whi=e in the >i=itary and he was a <retty good kickboCer and had training but ' caught hi> with a
thu>b in the eye and then s=a<-grab-twist and into a croc ro==# %r a crocodi=e ro==# (here was a =ot of
wrest=ing but ' got hi> and then everything we nt craAy#:
,ost wou=d have said that 9everything: had indeed gone cr aA y# "o>e wou=d have Lus t s aid it a =itt=e
ear=ier# & ut when ' eC<ress sur<rise that the 'ndians wou=d have sided with the cowboys in this ins
tance he re>inds >e that5 =ike the guy who taught hi>5 "ki<5 hes not Lust ha=f-'ndian but hes a=s o
ha=f-white#
9,e and "ki< > et because ' had heard he was a tough guy# (hings had started
1;
off kind of rough for us because ' was a tough guy too5 and s o it see> ed =ike we were going to get
into it but it never ha<<ened and so ' asked hi> to teach > e# We cou=dnt do this in the o<en so we
went into the card roo> and he=d so>e b=ankets u< and went at it and he s choo=ed > e# And 've been
training since ' was four years o=d# ,y father was in the >i=itary and s o ' s tarted =earning Ludo when '
was four# ' took karate5 wing chun5 was MIVT in o=den =oves5 wrest=ed in high s choo=5 took si=at 7:
And the bounds of credu=ity are fina==y crossed as "i=at5 fu== na>e PentLak "i=at5 is > entioned# ( he
on=y thing s =ight=y >ore a<ocry<ha= than even Lai=house rockBrock and ro== is this 'ndonesian
>ystica= death art# -=oaked in secrecy5 its =ike the co>bat eKuiva=ent of 9irritab=e bowe= syndro>e:
or 9chronic fatigue s yndro> e:/ shit that <eo<=e say they have5 which can be neither confir>ed nor
denied by any sort of rea= and > easurab=e e> <irica= tes t# 'n si=ats cas e5 <resu>ab=y because
a== on the =osing end of the s i=at eKuation are dead# And then you rea=iAe that a =ot of the guys Painter is
ta=king about A$E in the Loint F%$ ki==ing <eo<=e#
"o5 >ight it be said that your s uccess inside cou=d be cha=ked u< to your thirty-five or so years of
>artia= arts cross-training0
9We==5 ' knew that stuff when ' fought "ki< for the first ti>e5: Painter s ays # 9And he sti== beat > e#
(he s=a<-grab-twist# )ow to work the eyes5 gouge-wise# &iting# "hoving <eo<=e against the wa== and
using vertica= surfaces# '> writing a book too5 you know0 ' got > y bache=ors in E ng=ish fro> U!$
XUniversity of !evada5 $enoY# And ' got so>e ta<es too 7 :
And now '> rea==y unsure# 1 us t becaus e <eo<=e say it is s o dont >ean that it is s o# uys with
<ed credentia=s5 worked his tories 5 grandiose c=ai>s are fi=thy thick in the > artia= arts s cene#
,aybe > ore so than other s<orting endeavors# ' > ean5 you > ight =ie about your go=f handica<5 even
an average go=fer can <ick out a bad swing# &ut take a > an who says he can ki== > en0 )ow the he==
are you going to <rove this0 (his is how karate >anaged to ca<tivate the >inds of A> erica for
so =ong# 'ts b=uster and <ro> ise were never <ut to the tes t# ,iCed > artia= arts =ike the UF-5 Pride5 and
so>e of the s> a==er ones =ike King of the -age5 Wor=d ECtre> e -agefighting5 =adiators -ha==enge5
and $u> b=e on the $ock <ut a== of this >oney where a== of these > ouths are5 and so the >ost basic
Kuestion that <ro> ises the > ost conc=usive answer/ .o a ny of the guys you train5 now that youre
out5 co> <ete0
9' got four guys X$ichard Painter 1r#5 $ay> ond Painter 1r#5 "antigo (erasses 5 and .an A=iesY who have
co><eted in ,,A events # "<ecifica==y this thing u< at the ( ra< Acade>y in 'daho5: Painter says#
9(heyre a== undefeated5 by the way#:
1;
And there it is/ what we ca== fucking <roof <ositive# And we consider the other <os itives/ whi=e itd be
nice to know what he teaches if you got to go to Lai=5 its <robab=y even nicer to know how to s tay out
of Lai=# 'n any cas e5 its c=os e- Kuarters co>bat5 and5 outs ide of a ce==5 there are =ots of c=ose Kuarters
where it > ight work the s=a<-grab-twis t5 the eye gouge5 the biteD but is there rea==y any > ore to
=earn about a<<=ying those than what you know here0 ' > ean5 is there > ore tha n one way to gouge an
eye0 %r bite an ear0 Painter teaches the how# &ut what about the when0
)e <e<<ers >e with a few > ore na> es so ' can bu==shit-detect if ' so choos e5 and he eCtends an
invite5 after ' thank hi> for his ti> e5 that vibes right on/ 9Anyti> e#:
'ndeed#
1 of I
F '2 E
()E$E" !%()'! 3U'(E *'KE
&$EAK'! A!%()E$ ,A!" 1AW
(he <=ace was na>ed ) owies # "ee> ed ve ry > uch at odds with the <revai=ing redneck vibe5 the
na>e )owie5 that is # "ounded >ore =ike a <=ace owned by a fun-=oving fe==a with g=ass es and a "tar W
ar s action-figure set on the coffee tab=e# 'n any case5 that was the na>e5 and it was near Poughkee<sie#
And when anyone around a certain age even thought about Poughkee<sie theyd5 if they were
fi=> buffs5 reference toe-<icking and Po<eye .oy=e# %r at =east ene )ack> an as Po<eye .oy=e as he
vio=ated the cine>atic civi= rights of as > any !egroes as <ossib=e in the genius non-fight-bas ed
f=ick (he Fr ench -onnection#
&ut to te== it hones t=y/ it was nt even Poughkee<sie5 it was &eacon# &eacon5 !Y# &ut 9Poughkee<sie:
wou=d have been >y answer when ' was as ked5 as ' inevitab=y wou=d be/ Where was that0 %r5 >ore
s<ecifica==y/ What was that near0
And it was in )owies# 'n &eacon# &efore ' got <ut out of the Loint by severa= > uch =arger ,arines# (
his is before ' was heavi=y <racticed in the fis tic arts # 't was before ' got <ut out5 but not before ' had
> et Patrick# U< in the > idst of <ris on centra=5 a> ids t "ing "ing5 Fishki==5 and a host of other
<risons5 ' was a =ifeguard at a kids ca>< and had > anaged to find > yse=f in a <osition where ' was
dating the daughter of the warden at "ing "ing ?> y sincere a<o=ogies to a== invo=ved in that <articu=ar
deba c=e@#
1oyce was a co> e=y =as s whose fathers <osition in town had > ade her a ho>etown heroine of
sorts# %ne night whi=e ' was reve=ing5 knee dee<5 in <roud- of-> ys e=f > ode ' noticed the reck=es s
advance of eyeba==s of the > os t i><udent nature# (hese be=onged to Patrick# And >y ani>a= brain
>ade > e do what >y ani>a= brain usua==y > akes > e do in situations that s> e== =ike i> >inent
danger/ s >i=e# War> =y# -o>forting=y# E!U'!E*Y# &ecause when you have that faked5 > uch =ike
sincerity5 to <ara<hrase the o=d )o==ywood saw5 you have it a==#
9You know 1oyce0:
%h yeah# )ow to >anage to say this so it s ounded =ike an a<o=ogy0 Who knows 0 &ut the key to
avoiding a fight is5 to <ut it >ost a ccurate=y5 a <rocess of not neces sari=y A-3U'E"-'!5 but rather
creating a s ituation where the road to !%!-fighting is >uch >ore attractive than the road to
F')('!# AcKuiescing
8 of I
invites conte> <t# (he other way5 though5 the way whereby you >eet the threat head on with an
e>brace that e=evate s the fight iss ue to a <osition of <ri> acy5 ( )'" is the way that signa=s both who
it is that you are and why you are that way/ a fighter who5 win or =ose5 =ikes to fight#
&ecause5 s ee5 then it beco> es acade>ic# And difficu=t/ if he be ats > e5 he =oses the wo> ans sy>
<athy# 'f he =os es5 he =oses her res<ect# &etter5 >uch better5 to invert and subvert fro> within5 and this
is what ' can s ee in a f=as h hes chosen to do#
)e s ays s o> ething generica==y unkind about her a=ong the =ines of 9shes a craAy broad5: and ' >
u>b=e5 if not as sent5 we==5 then5 no ardent defense# And then he starts ta=king/ eKua= <arts threat and
entreaty#
9(his was the firs t <=ace ' ever broke another >ans Law 7:
And ' was =eft to wonder if he > eant )owies5 the bar stoo= ' was s itting in5 or a (uesday night5 or
whatever it was#
9You see5 if you set out (% break his Law you >ight fuck it u< fourteen ways to "unday# )it his
forehead and break a knuck=e# )it his cheek# Anything# &ut ' didnt set out to do that# ' s et out to ki==
hi> # And so5 fro> that <oint of view5 it > ight s ee> a <retty good dea= for hi> that a== he had broken
was a Law#:
)e was waving over the barkee< and s trang=ing the bott=ed necks of &udweis er as he he=d forth in a
genera= and nons <ecific ta=e of derring-do in an atte><t to ?>aybe@ s care > e off# 't was nt working#
!ot because ' wasnt afraid5 though ' wasnt5 but becaus e he was being so coherent about it that ' was
caught# )e had a<<=ied hi>se=f to bar fighting as a science and after about three hours of chatter5 and
an irked gir=friend wandering around so>ewhere5 he invited > e over to the house where he =ived
with his > other to =ift weights and finish what was a> ounting to his dis sertation of the dark art
of duking it out with drunks #
)is >others house was a screened-door affair# )is > other watched ( 2 and s >oked Kuiet=y in the
=i> e-green and > onkey-shit-brown dUcor of their =iving roo> # We took a shar< turn to the right5
then down the base> ent stairs to his iron s ho<# 't was rudi> entary cinder b=ock with York du>bbe==s
and ;H-<ound <=ates
=ittered around =ike s o >any > anho=e covers# Patrick was white 5 about EF8G5 and
about 81T =ean <ounds of anger5 the source of which was never Kuite c=ear5 a<art fro> the sa> e s ort of
>a=aise that strikes A>erican > en of a certain age for certain reasons having to do with the =ack of
rites of <assage5 absent fathers5 and 9bitches #:
(he story5 as he =aid it5 about the Law breaking5 had as its cata=yst so>e threadbare eCcuse for 9doing
the right thing5: which ' dont think either of us be=ieved# &ut thats a== thats needed in a situation =ike
this/ an eCcuse#
9' hit hi> right on the corner of his chin# ' was going for a knoc kout shot5 and if you =ook at the <oint
of the chin =ike a hand=e5 you can swing that head around s o fast that the brain Lus t <uts itse=f to s =ee<
to save on the wear and tear# &ut '
M of I
gues s ' swung for the fences because the hand=e sna<<ed off5 which >eant in this instance that the <art
of his Law in front of >y fist > oved faster than his head# "o rather than knocking hi> out5 ' Lust
heard what sounded =ike a knuck=e cracking#
9.own he went5 but he wasnt out5 s ee0 And when he ca>e u<5 his >outh was o<en and he was Lus t
going Ouh uh5 because his Lawd been broken in an o<en <osition 7 And he was frantic# !o one cou=d
unders tand hi># )e ran out and s o> eone got hi> to a hos <ita=# &ut this was better =uck than ' cou=d
have <=anned# "ince he rea==y cou=dnt do >uch > ore than <oint5 ' ski<<ed the who=e Ogoing to Lai=
thing#
(hat== teach hi> to try to swoo< on s o> e chick '> ta=king to#:
And he did a Kuick set of bench <resses 5 easi=y hoisting the M1H <ounds we had on the rack u< and
down for a count of siC re<s #
9"ee5 these a re the things ' =ook for &EF%$E ' even > ake u< >y >ind to >ake >y > ove/
1# .oes he have a wea<on0 A > an with a wea<on wi==5 without even thinking5 kee< touching the s<ot
on his body where he eC<ects to find it# 'f his hand kee<s brus hing his <ants <ocket5 thats the <ocket
sur<rise#
8# .oes he have backu<0 "o>eti>es it has nothin to do with whether or not hes a good fighter# 'f he
has a good tea> behind hi>5 guys who5 when they
Obreak it u<5 <u== Y%U off firs t5 so he can get in a =as t =ick5 this can > ake a== the
difference in the wor=d# ' >yse=f work so=o5 because >ost <eo<=e are assho=es#
M# 's he r ight- or =eft-handed0 You dont think this > akes a difference0 ( hen you dont know shit
about fighting# ' a=ways work the weak side5 which5 at a bar5 is easy to do/ stand on the side hes not
ho=ding his drink and5 u> 7 work it#
;# Ever ythings good for so>ething# Ashtrays5 shot g=asses5 <oo= cues5 and that o=d s tandby5 beer
bott=es5 are a== fair ga> e if youre finding yourse=f outnu>bered or outc=assed# ' a=so a=ways consider
edges for gaining an edge/ the =ong =ine of a tab=e5 or the bar5 or eve n a back of a chair can be your
friend#:
&ut it sounds =ike youre =ooking for a fight5 and in >y <ersona= eC<erience the search a=ways ends u<
with >e having >ade horrib=y >eaningfu= tactica= errors#
9We==5 see5 thats the difference between > e and you/ youre =e tting your ana=ysis c=oud your > ind#
"o>eti>es5 =ike with this guy whose Law ' broke5 ' have a reason5 in which case its a no-brainer#
%ther ti> es o<<ortunity <resents itse=f5 which is a=ways > uch better than when you ($Y to <ick an
o<<ortunity# '> Lust te==ing you s hit that wi== > ake you better <re<ared# '> !%( saying this s hit
wi== work if you kee< trying to start shit with guys who are > inding their own business#
; of I
9' >ean the way this works kar>ica==y is that those in need of a beating wi== a=ways find those who
need to give one#:
% kay# (his is getting kinda Yoda-fied for > e# Are there are any ru=es for fight situations to avoid0
9Yeah#
1# 'f the other guy is too dr unk0 We==5 whats the <ercentage there5 un=ess hes <issed you off0
8# .o>es tic dis<utes0 (heres no sense to this because inevitab=y you== a=so have to <o< the bitch you
were Lust defending5 and with that the sy><athy of the crowd swings against you#
M# -o<s# Enough said#
;# 2er y5 very Kuiet >en# (here cou=d c=ear=y be a reason tha t hes sitting a=one# .ont fuck with a dog
thats s =ee<ing# )e aint bothering you5 no need at a== to bother hi>#
H# uys whove Lust co>e back fro> their cars with a new sense of confidence#
'ts usua==y ca==ed a gun#:
"o that =eaves0
9* oud>ouths5 >ost=y#:
And ' did a set and he did a s et and the conversation ranged far and wide before co> ing back to
1oyce#
9' was thinking of fucking you u< that night#:
You >ean two days ago0
9Yeah# You were ta=king =oud5 hanging out with that chick ' =iked5 and you were drinking5 =aughing
=oud 7 :
And you didnt Lu><# W hy0
9We==5 you were not afraid5 you were >ore s ober than ' thought origina==y5 you =ooked > e in the eyes5
and then you see> ed =ike a nice guy# ' didnt think you were a <ussy but ' a=s o didnt get any
resistance fro> you# Your attitude was =ike
Owhatever# Which sort of5 in a s trange way >ade > e =ike you#:
And then5 =ike s udden=y concerned that this >ade hi> sound entire=y too gay5 9&ut 'd have cracked
your fucking sku== o<en in a s econd if ' had to#:
' =aughed# (his was we== before ' was the 81T-5 88T-<ound fighter in > y own right so5 of course5 '
=aughed# (he > editation on >y <os sib=e > urder whi=e we s tood in a <=ace where ' cou=d c=ear=y &E
> urdered very > uch infor>ed this
H of I
decis ion# "o we finished our workout and >ade <=ans to > eet again for s ubseKuent workouts5
a<<oint> ents which 'd kee<# &ut we never drank together again5 and =ast ti> e ' heard5 he was
e><=oyed at the =oca= !abisco factory# (he
toughest cookie > aker in Poughkee<s ie#
,% 2' E F' ) ("
F' ) (" ' ! F' ) ( ,%2'E" W )E$E &% () ()E F' ) ( A!. () E F' ) ( ,%2'E "U-K
$% -K Y '2 ?1IJH@/ "ure we =oved the first one5 what with the who=e hangdog char> dea= and
Phi==y as ,ean "treets5 but 1 esus 7 when )o==ywood =oses its way it rea==y =oses its way# (his
insta==> ent5 the >ost <rofitab=e of the who=e cava=cade of boCing sha>e5 wi== cause s o>e to dis>
is s > e as a crank5 but this > ovie s ucked 7 even if you =ike boCing# E "PE-'A** Y if you =ike
boCing# -urious =y enough5 with truth rese>b=ing fiction and the <ass age of ti> e5 in 8TTR this
see>s a=> ost =ike a rea=ity s how#
*E% !A$.5 P A$( E ?1IJR@/ We s<are no one# "<ecifica==y5 WE are not going to s<are ,E5 in this
instance# !ot on=y did this >ovie suck and is arguab=y one of the worst >ovies >ade in the history of
worst > ovies 5 but ' was in it# (hree weeks of '! '(# With =ines and e verything5 and des<ite boasting
cast > e>bers who -%U* . actua==y fight ?=ike > e@ and at =eas t two or three others5 this cou=d in no
way co> <ensate for the begutted &i== -os by
fighting with ba==et dancers dress ed as ostriches# A > ovie that > akes you want to strang=e orangutans
5 you =ove it so > uch#
Y,K A(A ?1IJH@/ You know who this > ovie >akes us sad for0 .an ( y=er ,oore# ?$e=ated to
,ary0 Who the fuck knows 0@ )is book (he (errib=e a>e was the bas is for this > ovie about a
gy>nast who co> bines his abi=ity to dance around in tights with karate to enter what see> s to be
E of I
so>e sort of ear=y u=ti>ate fighting co> <etition in so>e sort of unna> ed
,idd=e E astern country# What the he== is it with the JTs and sucky >ovies0
&%4'! ) E*E!A ?1IIM@/ !ot 7 even 7 a > ovie about boCing# And so5 on this count/ it fai=s
>iser ab=y#
.'$(Y .A!-'! ?1IJR@/ .es <ite the <resence of so>eone who c=ai>s to have s o> e <assing fa>
i=iarity with a > artia= art ?A=eC5 the correct answer is 9Who is Patrick "wayAe0:@ and a<<eared in
$oadhouse ?a=so "wayAe5 in not a bad > ovie about bouncers @5 .irty .ancing5 des <ite the <re> ise of
dancing in not very c=ean =oca=es in the -ats ki==s5 has a fight scene where "wayAe <unches out the rich-
kid rake but this is no way co> <ensates for the fact that this is a big-ti>e chick f=ick#
&E"( F ') (" '! "%$(A-K '!.A-!%!-F' )(' ! ,%2' E"
()E % .F A()E$ ?1IR8@/ When "onny -or=eone ?rea= =ife > artia= artist 1a> es -aan@ beats the
fuck out of his brother-in-=aw -ar=o $iAAi5 u< to and inc=uding the biting of -ar=os shoe5 we==
()'" scene s u>s u< in tota= E4A-(*Y what was going through > y >ind that night in "a n
1ose of which ' wi== s<eak no > ore# (hat -aan was nt no>inated for an %s car see>s ty<ica= for a city
and industry that think tha t theres s o> ething daring about -o=in Farre==# ?)int/ 'ts ca==ed <ub=ic
drunkenness5 not daring5 where ' co> e fro>#@
"!A(-) ?8TTT@/ ( hough director uy $itchies career is caught u< in the cine> atic chains aw that is
his wife5 ,adonna5 he5 at one <oint5 had >anaged to get his hands around a <retty straight onD
des<ite a== of his eCtant (arantino-is> sDtake on underground bare -knuck=e boCing#
,y underground boCer friend Pete was trying to get > e a bout in one of thes e
R of I
?average take rounded out to about five thousand taC-free A>erican do==ars@ before he was hounded
out of the ga>e by drunkennes s and a s teadfast refusa= to =et the> <rofessiona=-wrest=iAe hi> into
take shorts# $itc hie caught it5 and that he >anaged to do s o with &rad Pitt >ade it a== the > ore a>
aAing# )ey5 wait a >inute5 isnt this a fighting > ovie0 Whatta you0 A co< or so>ething0
)APP Y '*,%$E ?1IIE@/ "ure5 sure 7 Ada> "and=er fights octogenarian &ob &arker#
"ure5 it was a good fight# &ut was it worth the Z8E >i= "and=er got for doing it0 (wenty-siC friggin >
i=# 'd fight .r# $uth for that kinda > oney#
"*AP") %( ?1IRR@/ ( he )anson &rothers <utting on the foi=# (hats a== we gotta s ay about that#
()E 3U'E( ,A! ?1IH8@/ 2ictor ,c* ag=en5 A-( UA* boCer and wrest=er5 fought 1ohn ?rea=
first na>e5 ,arion@ Wayne5 actor5 in this f=ick for =ike an hour# 't was nice to see Wayne get everything
that was co> ing to hi> 5 though#
-%% * ) A!. *UKE ?1IER@/ eorge Kennedy has no > odern-day eKuiva=ent# !either does *
ee ,arvin# %r Ernes t &orgnine# %r $obert ,itchu> # ?.oes 1a>es ando=fini count0@ "o when he
s tarts bouncing Pau= !ew> ans head offa the furniture5 it > akes you cheer# 't Lus t > akes you cheer#
&%$A(/ -U*(U$A* * EA$!'!" %F A,E$'-A F% $ ,AK E &E!EF'( *% $' %U"
!A(' %! % F K ASAK ) "(A! ?8TTE@/ &orat5 a >an5 wrest=es naked with AAa>at another >an5 over
the =atters =otioned >agaAine =oving of the fur-hating boobie Kueen Pa>e=a Anders on *ee $ock-
!ow-,aybe-*ee-Again# A fun-=oving f=ick for everyone fro> nine to
J of I
ninety#
&*A.E ?1IIJ@/ Wes=ey "ni<es can actua==y fight# )e can so a=>os t actua==y fight that he and co>
edian 1 oe $ogan5 who can $EA**Y fight5 were going to >eet in the eigh-s ided ring on the under card
at the UF-# !ever ha<<ened5 but if this ce=ebrity shit ever takes off0 Yeah5 we==5 ' got dibs on 1ared
*eto#
A &$% !4 (A*E ?1IIM@/ When -haAA Pa=> interi =ocks the bikers in the bar and says 9!ow youse
cant =eave : i>> ediate=y <rior to beating the> into f=oor waC# (he fines t fucking > o>ent in cine>
a for anyone who ever knew a cugine5 got his ass kicked by a cugine5 or knew a cugine who kicked
so>eone e=ses ass#
)% %P E$ ?1IRJ@/ &urt $eyno=ds 5 &rian Keith5 and ( erry & radshawDand "a==y Fie=d Lust so
everyone didnt fee= so gay# reat f=ick about s tunt > en# An fights ga=ore # (hough in our >inds
$eyno=ds wi== never rise higher than he did in "ha>us5 this is a great =ate RTs dea=ie5 which >eans0
Yeah5 you got it/ =ots and =ots of cocaine was ki==ed in the > aking of this >ovie#
F' )( F'*," W )E$E () EY A( *EA"( FU-K' ! ($'E.
()E &%U$!E '.E!('(Y ($A!"P%$(E$
$A '! &U** %! &AK
F' )( -*U& % %.FE* *A"
E!(E$ ()E .$A %! *A.'A(% $
I of I
FA( -'(Y
A -*%-KW% $K %$A!E
11
"' 4
-U$&"5 -A$
.%%$" + Y%U
K E2'! W EEK" A!. ()E A$( %F F' ) ('! W '() %U( F ' )('! 7 ,U-) #
9"ure5 sure 7 ' get into 2egas =ate tonight# -a== > e to>orrow# '== be g=ad to ta=k to you about boCing#
And ' got =ots of &oston boCers who== ta=k5 too#: (he s <eaker was Petey We=ch5 the U=ti>ate Fighter
( 2 s hows boCing coach and =ongti>e &oston habituU5 sti== > aking his ho>e in & os tonD"outhie5
to be eCact# 9( hat the kind of ang=e youre =ooking for5 yeah0:
9We==5 actua==y ' wanted to ta=k to you about Kevin Weeks#:
't was great# Es<ecia==y if by 9great: you >ean =ike what ha<<ens when the need=e scratches acros s a
record right before the <artys over#
9U>5 s o you want >e to ta=k about Kevin 7 0: (his who=e road had been =eading u< to this who=e >
o> ent because >y contact5 a=so fro> &oston5 hadnt been ab=e to bring hi> se=f to te== Petey what '
wanted because a== of s udden we were a== s<eaking a =oca= dia=ect far re>oved fro> the k=ieg
=ights and s <okes> ode=s and ce=ebrities rings ide5 and one that had everything to do with eCact=y
the ways in which you 7 .% 7 !%( 7 FU-K 7 A$%U!.#
"o it hung there before it had to be s <e==ed out5 Kuick=y and > ore than direct=y/ ' had Lust gotten back
fro> ta=king to Kevin Weeks > yse=f and he was in no way o<<os ed to us ta=king about his <as t as a
o=den =oves boCer5 his years boCing afterward5 his bouncing in the busing stab-a-!egro-with-an-
A>erican-f=ag- busing-in-&oston of the > id to =ate RTs5 as we== as his >artia= arts co> <etitions and
that >y interes t began and ended there# )e <aused# 9%kay# -a== >e to>orrow# We can ta=k
then#:
And there it was/ we had gone fro> fun and ga>es to not so >uch fun and not s o > any ga>es
because5 you see5 in cas e you didnt know5 Kevin Weeks had Lust ?we==5 February ;5 8TTH5 to be eCact@
gotten out of the <enitentiary5 where he had s erved siC years of his debt to hu> anity# A debt that had
been <aid as a resu=t of hi> <=eading out fro> >urder in the first degree5 eCtortion5 and a bunch of
$'-% s tatute shit to the very si><=e aiding and of > urder ?and not actua==y co>>itting any of the
eight hes on record for@ a=ong with an agree> ent to s<eak truth to <owerD or rat on the rats5
de<ending on who you ta=k toDabout Whitey &u=ger5 cri>e boss5 F&' infor>ant5 and now > ost-wante
d-=is t fugitive fro> Lustice# !ot fun5 not ga>es 5 but a> <=e and sobering reason for Peteys s ta==
because5 you s ee5
11
Petey s ti== =ives in "outhie5 and rea==y5 who needs this kind of action at ho>e0 &ut s crew being at
ho>e5 vis iting "outhie5 you get the sense that this is not the
kind of action anyone needs # (he <=ace doesnt have the stink of the us ua= urban
necro<o=is circa > id to =ate RTs !Y with its a=>ost )o==ywood back=ot b=ocks and b=ocks of burned-
out bui=dings and aba ndoned =ots fu== of garbage# 't doesnt s ee> to draw its <ower fro> any sort of
<ub=ic-works theory of ruin# $ather5 '
notice as ' wa=k down its streets5 EF1 QG5 8MT <ounds5 as ' a> the day when ' do5
and have to ste< out of the way of a > uch s> a==er s eventy-two-year-o=d >an who radiated 9not
giving a fuck: unti= he saw > e with Kevin5 its <ower is one of as sociation# Who you know# Who the
FU-K you know# And wa=king with Weeks it beco>es abundant=y c=ear that he '" s o> eone to know#
What ' know/ what he te==s > e# Fro> a fa>i=y of boCers 5 won the & oys -=ub boCing cha><ionshi< at
s iC years o=d5 the "outh &os ton &aby =oves tourna> ent at seven5 and before he was siCteen hed
a=so win the "i=ver ,ittens and fought in the o=den =oves and the 1unior %=y> <ics # "eventy-eight
fights in the ring and two =osses#
!ice#
And des<ite a fa> i=y <edigree that inc=uded o=der brothers at )arvard5 Kevin took the road =ess
trave=ed s traight into the heart of &ostons who=e eC<erience with busing5 sett=ing as a security guard
in "outhie high s choo=s that were fucked to the highes t by so>e integration->ad bureaucrats
disregard for regiona= <o=itics ?<itting the working-c=as s <oor aga inst the working-c=ass <oor@ and
then a =ater > ove thatd change his =ife/ s traight into bouncing# ( hat is5 the active a<<=ication of force
in creating an environ>ent u=ti>ate=y conducive to you drinking yourse=f into an angry stu<or without
teetering over into non-drinking ass ho=ishness# And for those doing the teetering over/ us ua==y a
beating#
9,e and so>e friends of > ine went over to this bar5: says Kevin# As ' a> a &rook=yn native5 it takes
>e a bit for > y ears to ca=ibrate to his accent5 not &oston tweed but so>ething > uch harder#
9And they were =ooking for bouncers and s o we said5 OYeah5 we== do it# &ut they took one =ook at >e
and said5 O&ar back# ' didnt weigh s o >uch then# &ut =ike >y first night there ' was hau=ing ice or
so> ething and s o> ething breaks out at the door and so ' Lu> < over the bar and guys are going this
way and that and ' fucking crack this guy# 1ab5 cross 5 hook5 and hes out# After that no >ore bar back#:
11
!o > ore bar back and on > ore than one occasion a c=ear-headed bruta=ity that was noted and
noticed by 1i>> y 9Whitey: &u=ger5 the reigning head of the &oston 'rish 9>afia5: in Kuotes
here because everything about it bes<eaks its co> <=ete 'rishness/ =ess ornate than the 'ta=ian
> ob5 and > uch > ore uncontro==ab=e# And as thes e things tend to ha<<en5 9notice: turned into
9worked with: and an as sociation that s<anned a =ot of bu==ets5 a =ot of un> arked graves 5 and a =ot of5
u> 5 force <roLection#
9You got to understand so>ething about how we worked# 'f you didnt fuck u<5 you didnt s ee us 5:
said the now-81T-<ound Weeks# 9And if you did see us and you hadnt fucked u< you had nothing to
worry about#:
&ut what constituted a fucku<0 W earing a be=t and sus<enders 0 What0
9't cou=d be anything5: Weeks said# 9Us ua==y s o> ebody thinking they were tougher than they
are#:
A co>> on bouncing work-re=ated annoyance that was a<<arent=y trans=atab=e to organiAed
cri>e#
&ut Petey ca==s back fina==y/ 9' gotta ta=k to Kevin before ' can ta=k to you# You know0:
And ' do5 and say so5 and so he ta=ks to Kevin#
9%kay# Kevin says youre okay# ' dont know if you knew this but ' grew u< in the sa> e <roLects as
Kevin# ' fought the sa> e fights# ( hat annua= "t# Pattys .ay s how goes back =ike seventy years#
Fathers wou=d bring their sons5 youd train for it for =ike eight weeks beforehand and if you werent in
it5 we==5 you >ight as we== have been wearing a skirt# %r been very good at running#:
&ut by the ti>e Petey had started his c=i> b through the sa>e sto<sD &aby
=oves 5 1 unior %=y> <ics5 o=den =oves DKevin was 9a=ready the > an#:
11
9%ne of >y favorite Kevin stories is of hi> s =a<<ing this kid for so>ething and knocking hi> out co=d
with an o<en-hand s hot and then on the way down the kid s tarts <iss ing his own <ants#: Petey and '
both =augh5 but he goes on to eC<=ain5 9!othing gets done thats unLustified5 though# )e wasnt a bu==y5
becaus e bu==ies wou=dnt =ast =ong# "o>ebody wou=d turn on hi> # "o 'd s ay he <robab=y never did it
without a reason#:
And one thing is eCceeding=y c=ear in > y dea=ings with the fifty-year-o=d Weeks and thats that
theres a certain c=arity to his a<<roach to the wor=d that > ade sense# %cca>s-raAor sense# 9When '
=oaned > oney to so> eone the first thing 'd ask the> is how >uch they > ade# ' aint =ending four
grand to a guy who >akes four hundred a week# ' know he cant <ay# &ut 'd =oan so>ething s >a==er
and nobody ever got hurt if they ca> e and eC<=ained to >e why they had a <rob=e> <aying > e back
that week# &ut a guy gets 7:
-hesty0
9Yeah# We==5 then5 you know 7 'd have to =et hi> know 7 knoc k hi> in the > outh5 or s o> ething#:
And the >urders0
9We==5 that was 1i>> ys thing# (hey see>ed to re=aC hi> # ' got stuck with the c=eanu<# ' re>e> ber
once <u==ing the <ickaCe u< out of this guys s ternu> and his who=e abdo> ina= cavity ca> e with it#
!ow ()A( was disgusting# (ook three days to get the s> e== out of > y nose after that#: And he gives
the gas face and =eaves >e wondering if that kind of c=arity5 that sangfroid5 was natura= or Lust nurtured#
9'n the ring5 it was a== about contro=# "trategy and so on#: Weve >oved fro> Kevins gir=friends car5
a re=ative=y new5 gray5 conservative->ode= A>erican s o> ething or other5 to his s<ot at $ otary
2ariety on a b=ock in "outhie that he 9used to own a== the business es on unti= the fa> i=ies of the
victi> s wanted to take > e to civi= court5 and so 7
9&ut in the ring there were refs 5 but > ost of > y ti> e in there ' was e> otion=e ss# ' >ean5 '
wasnt A!$Y with the guy ' was fighting# 'n fact ' cou=dnt afford to be angry s ince that > eant
' wasnt fighting c=ear-headed# %utside the ring5 though5 we==5 anything cou=d ha<<en5 and ' was
<re<ared for that too# And you know what > ost <eo<=e didnt rea=iAe/ even though ' was hanging out
at a bar ' was nt .$'!K'! at the bar# ' >ean 'd have a drink in > y hand but it wou=dnt be booAe#
And ' was stone-co=d sober# &ecause ' wanted to know what was going on the who=e ti>e# &ecause
you never know#:
And Petey echoes this5 though at thirty-five and s ucces sfu= with his on-ca> era career it ro==s off of
his tongue with a certain brio that bes <eaks a rea= Loy connected to this chaotic never-knowing#
9!othing beats it5 >an# &ecause theres no greater <ower than being ab=e to wa=k into the bar5 or a c=ub5
with your boys 5 and if a beef breaks out5 if so> eones > ean-> ugging you 7 that you cou=d Lust
11
e=ectrocute guys# ' >ean5 ' was 1ET <ounds when ' was seventeen# At HF11G#
&ut knowing that ' cou=d =ay out a =arger guy5 have hi> thinking hes at ho>e taking a bubb=e bath
when hes =aying on the f=oor5 we== that was great# A coach of > ine once said5 OYou got guys that want
to be known as fighters# And then you got fighters# Fighting was a tradition in "outhie# &ut tha t
"outhie is gone#:
one# rabbed by the gentry thats ai>ing to turn everything into so>ething cute that serves coffee#
(he o=d neighborhood character5 for better or for i==5 is changing# &oCing as a neighborhood >ainstay5
its underwor=d taint s ti== sticking5 is changing too# 9'ts a shadow of what it once was5: says Petey# 9'
hate to s ee it a== was hed away but this is =ike the evo=ution of fight s <orts # And '> a boCing guy so '
sort of hate to say it but the rea=ity of it is that the > iCed > artia= artists today train a =ot harder and are
a =ot tougher than so> e of the boCers were#: "o the race5 and the s urviva= thereof5 is going to the
fittest5 the toughes t0 ,aybe#
9'> > uch > ore dangerous now than when ' was a kid5: says Weeks5 hunched down over his Keno
card# 9'> fifty# And whi=e '> not =ooking for anything other than a Lob5 '> a=so not going to
take anything fro> anybody for any reason#:
&ut with the <osition gone5 <res u> ab=y the >oney5 1i> >y 9Whitey: &u=gers weight5 and the =oo>
ing s<ecter of one-way car tri<s to 9We-aint-seen-hi> 5: it s ee>s =ike itd be a <ri> e setu< for taking
e verything fro> everybody#
And Kevin Lus t =aughs# 9You know they brought *eonardo .i-a<rio in to see > e# )e was doing s o>
e research for this >ovie (he .e<arted# "o hes hanging out two5 > aybe two and a ha =f hours 5 and
asking a== kinds of Kuestions # !ice kid# And not s o short5 either# Wide shou=ders# &ut hes asking
about everything# "o>e of it even > ade it in the > ovie5 but toward the end of the interview he started
getting into character and he says so>e s hit =ike OWhen you were an infor> ant
7 And ' =ost it# ' > ean the regu=ar <erson5 we== it takes the> so> e ti>e to get fro> Aero to siCty# 't
usua==y took *E "" than that ti> e for 1i> >y XWhiteyY to get to siC hundred# ' wasnt as bad as a==
that5 but ' was hot# &ecause ' never was an infor>ant# What ' to=d never hurt nobody but > e# &ut the
agents who were there were trying to ca=> > e down#: )e chuck=es again# 9( he kid a<o=ogiAed and
said5
O'== never > ake ()A( > istake again5 sir#
11
9,y <oint though is that not on=y do you not un=earn things but s o> e of these things are with you
forever5 and so when ' s ee these guys on the news5 =ike Andrew .ice -=ay or ,ichae= $ichards or
s o> ething5 crying and rus hing off to rehab and regretting their who=e =ives 5 ' have to =augh# ' regret
so> e things# 'ts hu>an# ' regret ' didnt s<end > ore ti>e with >y kids# And >y eC-wife# &ut you==
never see > e crying on (2 for nothing e=se ' did# Fuck that# ' cant change history# (hats why you
never hear >e > aking a big dea= out of on=y aiding and abetting those > urders# 'f 1 i> >y had as ked
>e to5 'd have done it# !ow5 its not =ike ' didnt =earn anything5 ' did# &ut ' a=s o know that regret
does nt do any good#:
We==5 what did you =e ar n5 say5 about fighting0 (hat >ight he=< >e#
9You know5 when we started working on > y book X&ruta=/ (he Unto=d "tory of ,y *ife 'nside
Whitey &u=gers 'r is h , obY ' had so>e craAy >eetings # (his one wo> an s uggested that at first '
>ake it a )%W (% guide# *ike how to eCtort <eo<=e5: he eCha=es5 a== co> edic conte> <t# 9( hen '
kind of s uggested that we s hou=d <robab=y Lus t >ake it a co>edy5 and shes =ike OYeah yeah5
before ' <u==ed the <=ug on that# &ut if youre going to ask >e '== te== you because its =ike Lust what
you did when you were a bouncer Xa=> os tY#
1# .ont drink# 'n <ub=ic# ' a=ways needed to know whats going on#
8# 1i>> y XWhiteyY a=ways <ut hi>se=f in the bac k so he cou=d watch the who=e roo> #
M# When the hitting starts 5 'd Lust a=ways hit with everything ' got right out the boC# ' re> e>ber
hitting this guy who had =ike a >otorcyc=e he=>et on and ' hit hi> so hard ' cracked the he=> et# A
right cross# ' > ean ' didnt =ike the idea of having to ro== around on the ground with so>e guy bigger
than > e# And 7
;# 'f '> about to be done5 '> going out screa> ing5 kicking5 fighting5 Lu><ing out of windows
because at =east then you have a chance#
11
9(hats about it#:
A=> ost5 or5 not near=y# What he doesnt ta=k about is not even how far cou=d you go5 but how far
W%U*. you go0 't dawns on >e5 that this is the true brand differentiator# 'f its not what > akes a >
an start fires5 its <robab=y what >akes you afraid of the one who does 5 and thats his wi==ing and
wi==fu= ideation of a wor=d where no one fucks with you becaus e you5 if ca==ed u<on to do so5 wi== sto<
the> in the >ost critica= way <ossib=e/ co> <=ete=y#
And when we drive back acros s town to where '> staying5 he drives that way# -ars in &os ton
traffic >ore =ike >idd=e-fingered > is si=es of angry intent5 whi<<ing around us5 and ca<ab=y and
a=> ost 7 rega==y5 Kevin5 not having =ost the habits of days being tai=ed by feds 5 drives 5 not breaking
any =aws5 ignoring the bee<ing and ta=king about everything at a >eas ured c=i< unti= we <u== u< to the
curb# We s hake hands# )is hands are heavy =ike the hands of a >an =arger than his
HF11G# (here are unasked and unanswered Kuestions regarding who5 how5 and
whats neCt for hi>5 but it =arge=y see>s =ike these Kuestions are on=y >ine# Which Lus t about s
ays it a==#
() E P U!-) *'!E + )% W (% E( '(
$obert ,itchu>s got his hand s<=aye d out in front of hi> # (he f=ick is (he !ight of the )unter 5 and
,itchu> s ki==er <reacher5 c=oaked in ho=y c=oth and bad intention5 eC<=ains how the hand thats
tattooed *%2E gives 5 and the one whose knuck=es were tattooed )A(E 5 takes away#
9W ou=d you =ike >e to te== you the =itt=e s tory of right-handB=eft-hand0 (he s tory of good and evi=0 )-
A-(-E6 't was with this =eft hand that o=d brother -ain s tr uck the b=ow that =aid his brother =ow# *-%-
2-E6 You s ee these finger s5 dear hearts0 (hese fingers has veins that r un straight to the sou= of >an#
(he right hand5 friends5 the hand of =ove# !ow watch5 and '== show you the story of =ife# (hos e finger
s5 dear hear ts 5 is a=ways a-warr ing and a-tugging5 one agin tother # !ow watch e>6:
(he <oint is5 as he cur=ed his hand into fir> fists ?and ' a> re>inded here of now-dead co> edian "a>
Kinison saying he knew what turned ,r# )and into ,r# Fist@5 the tota= i><ort of our s<ecies brand-
differentiator was driven ho>e/ whi=e we c ant run for s hit ?think/ >an vs# sKuirre =@5 our teeth are not
worth a da>n ?think/ the A<<a=achians5 the &ritish 's =es @5 the avera ge chi>< is three ti> es as s trong
as the average > an ?think/ * ance *ink@5 and our >uch-vaunted brains are not worth > uch > ore
when weighed in the ba=ance against natures great hunters ?think/ the co> >on house cat@5 we can5 if
given the <ro<er incentives and know- how5 beat each others asses Kuite thorough=y#
Forthwith the basic <unches 5 and since > ost <eo<=e throw whatever <unch they throw5 incorrect=y5
here s a thu> bnai= cheat s heet/ a <unch is =e ss of a <ush ?ignore Arno=d "chwarAeneggers >
ovies as a guide as he throws so>e of the
11
worst on-s creen <unches ever@ and > uch >ore of a throw ?think/ !o=an $yan@# !ow knuck=e u<#
1A&/ ( he =ead ar> ?=arge=y deter>ined by which foot is >ore forward than the otherN if youre right-
handed it== be your =eft foot5 if youre =eft-handed5 or s outh<aw5 it== be your right foot@ eCtends
direct=y toward the sucker foo= enough to sti== be s tanding there# (his <unch shou=d sna< and is used us
ua ==y to s et u< s o> ething e=seD a cross ?see o<<os ite <age5 to<@5 or a kick5 or a takedown5 if youre
a gra<<=er#
-$%""/ ( his is the grandstand of <unches# 'ts the one you usua==y see in the > ovies and its the one
in the knockout ree= if youre a s<orts fan# (he who=e body > oves in behind this rear-hand <unch as it
twists u< fro> the rear =eg5 with the ar> 5 s hou=ders5 hi<s5 and =egs a== working to drive the <oint ho>e
in the on=y way you know how/ with a friggin eCc=a> ation <oint#
)%%K / *ike the -a<tain# ( his is a re=ative=y wide =oo<ing <unch that rotates off of the hi< and is
>ost often s een at the s cene of a knockout as its haaaarrddd to defend against# You bend the e=bow
whi=e bringing the ar> <ara==e= to the ground5 and5 twisting your abs 5 swing <as t the soon-to-be-
na<<ing o<<onent with your fist fo==owing# Ps ychic# Powerfu=#
11
UPP E$-U(/ $e>e> ber seeing ,ike ( ys on5 before he Loined the =ost tribe of eC-boCers 5 shooting
in on another fighter and bringing with hi> 5 u< the front of his body5 and buoyed by the body5 a <unch
that invariab=y hit the nose or Law5 c=icking it shut and with it the fighter who> it be=onged to0 !o0
!either does anyone who got hit with one of thes e#
&A-KF '"(/ , os t effective=y and freKuent=y de=ivered off of a s<in ?then ca==ed the "P'!!'!
&A-KF'"(@5 the backfis t is a traditiona= >artia= arts <unch that uses the back of the fist5 usua==y the
=argest two knuck=es5 against the te> <=e 5 nose or eyes#
%2E$)A!./ UF- *ight heavyweight cha>< -huck *idde== us es this to great effect >ore than
anybody fighting hi> wou=d rea==y =ike# "ort of =ike the hook but its a== death-fro> -above ti> e as the
fighter de=ivering it either =eans =eft or right and brings this <unch over the to<# When *idde== uses it he
usua==y catches the> s Kuare on the cheek5 and though so> e think it =acks <ower5 not > any on the
business end of one of *idde==s strikes wou=d concur with that as sess> ent#
11
)AY,AK E$/ (his is the (2 Punch of a== <unches # And =ike other shit you see on (25 its <robab=y >
os t often going to be us ed by <eo<=e who =earn a== of what they know fro> (2# Which is <robab=y the
=ast <=a ce in the wor=d that you want to =earn about fighting# 'ts the teCtbook definition of the wi=d
<unch5 which finds its variants in other s <orts as wi=d <itches and )ai= ,arys# 't is a >ove that stinks
of des<eration and5 with its windu<5 a > ove te=egra<hed fro> b=ocks away5 sets the throwe r u< for any
nu> ber of vicious counte rattacks # (he on=y thing worse than being caught throwing one is being
knocked out by one# 'F5 by so> e chance5 you are knocked out by one5 Lus t =eave town# Forever# "inc e
thats how =ong it== take for near=y everyone to forget that you got taken out by a <unch >ade <o<u=ar
by -a<tain Kirk#
() E % * % !E-(W % P U!-)/ ( he firs t one is the con# 'ts the s=ow5 stu<id <unch that gets you
to > ove5 dodge5 s hift your guard5 or buy the high=y un=ike=ihood that your o<<onent is a was h5
a bu> 5 a <atsy# ( he ( wo Punch0 ( hats the one that shows5 in no uncertain ter>s5 that you 7 have
7 been 7 P*AYE.# Faster5 better5 stronger5 if you dont know this one is A*WAY" co> ing5
then you have no bus ines s in this busines s#
11
1 of I
"E2 E!
()E $EA* "A.
A!. WEEPY PA$( %F %U$ "(%$Y
' 2E &EE! .' ",A"(E. *' KE -AP(A' ! A) A& A!. ' -A!( E( UP/
A K'-K &%4'! &EA('! !% !PA$E'*
't was >e and -es ar racie b=ue be=t ?under shooto cha>< 1ake "hie=ds @ "a= $uss o# (hink )unter "#
( ho> <son and .r# onAo# ECce<t the destination and the Lourney had nothing to do with *as 2egas
and everything to do with *os Ange=es and its sou==es s eCces s of eCces s# And we were <robab=y ha=f
as high and twice as handso>e# At =east ' was# We were working the twin engines of the good o= A>
erican seC and vio=ence ga>e over at P=ayboy radios sate==ite channe=5 where we were being
interviewed by <orn star 1 u=ie Ashton and s o> e Penthouse <et for reasons that are now on=y haAi=y
a<<arent to >e# We >odera ted whi=e the <orn broads <arried Kuestions fro> truckers about <ro<er
etiKuette for owning and kee<ing seC s=aves and other =ate-night =one=y-road e<he> era#
%n the way back5 though5 sitting b=ear-eyed in the air<ort at &urbank5 we stared across the ais=e at this
guy who =ooked at once tota==y fa>i=iar and co><=ete=y unknown to us# * ike the way it is so> eti> es
with ce=ebrities # *ike the ti>e an o=d gir=friend of > ine ran into &rad Pitt and thought she had gone to
high schoo= with hi># ' >ean5 so> eti> es that ha<<ens# &ut this ti>e it was the carti=aginous
bund=e of cau=if=owered ears on either side of his head that was the ti< off# "a= s aid it right as ' was
thinking it#
9-ung *e#:
&ackground/ if there was a <oster boy for K-15 a kickboCing co> bat s<orts grou< ?heavi=y re<res
ented in 2egas and on <ay-<er-view wor=dwide@ that =ets fighters =ift fro> the wor=ds of karate5 tae
kwon do5 kickboCing5 and traditiona= boCing5 *e was it# A== high-f=ying s cis sor kicks and acrobatic
throws5 knees and god-knows -what-e=se fro> his ti>e as an A==-A> erican high schoo= and 1-
wrest=er5 *es s <ecia=ty is s an shou5 a co> bo art that actua==y ties wrest=ing in with kickboCing and
kung fu# And when ' say s<ecia=ty ' >ean three bronAe > eda=s in a>ateur san shou wor=d co>
<etition with a 1MVT record as a <rofessiona=5 eight of the> knockouts #
8 of I
*et > e s <e== that out for you/ his record5 inc=uding a>ateur fights5 is MEV85 with twenty-siC
knockouts #
(hough his detractors whis<er that hes a> assed that record on the backs of unworthy o<<onents5
theres no doubt that the HF1TG5 1J8-<ound *e can kick a
s o=id yards worth of ass#
We introduce ours e=ves and f=ank hi> on the > atchbook-gray >o=ded air<ort s eats and by c onvers
ations end weve convinced ours e=ves that weve convinced hi> to >ove beyond K-1 and venture
into the wor=d of >iCed >artia= arts#
9&ut '> going to need so> e he=< with the ground ga>e# (he sub> is sion <ortion#:
And these are the words 've been waiting to hear5 as ' now offer u< >y s ervices5 on a Kuid <ro
Kuo basis# )ed teach > e the finer <oints of the stand-u< ga> e5 which5 des<ite >y background
boCing at the & oys -=ub in &rook=yn5 s even years of ken<o karate5 and a year of the dead=y
southeast Asian art of > uay thai5 was <ossib=y a =itt=e =acking# Whi=e '5 in eCchange5 wou=d throw hi>
a== of what ' knew about a== of the wrest=ing5 &raAi=ian Liu-Litsu5 and catch wrest=ing ' had gotten >y
hands on#
't was a dea=#
A dea= that had >e >aking the trek to his fight e><oriu> twice a week# ( hat s hou=d have been a ti<-
off right there5 as if ' needed > ore/ a > an with his %W! fight e><oriu> is <robab=y not to be trif=ed
with# &ut5 to his credit5 he did a=so utter thos e words that any two >en say to each other before
theyre about to e> bark on a 9casua=: run5 or a 9=ight: one-on-one5 or a 9no <ressure: <icku< ga> e/
Yeah5 we== Lust take it easy#
(ake it easy0 As if# As if he got to be a wor=d cha><ion by taking it eas y# As if ' hadnt a=ready <ut >
ys e=f5 > u=ti<=e ti> es in fact5 in har> s way by cha==enging the best in the wor=d in s o>e s ort of
Aguirre -=ike ha==ucination c onnected to de=usions of > y indestructibi=ity# As if# ?(his is what we5 in
the =iterary fie=d5 ca==
M of I
9foreshadowing#:@
And s o it went# ,y stand-u< hadnt suffered as >uch as ' wou=d have thought after a few years of
doing nothing but gra<<=ing# &ut it wasnt > y stand-u< that was the rea= <rob=e># 't was the head tri<#
( he sku== ga>e# ' >ean5 the average <erson5 when hit with a sternu> -crus hing s ide kic k5 a kick so
so=id that the center of your ches t burns =ike a <oker was driven through it in so>e o=d )a>> er
va> <ire f=ick5 wou=d do everything in his <ower to avoid said s ternu> -crushing kick#
!ot >e5 though# !ot > e because it was inconceivab=e to >e that he wou=d catch >e with it again#
Even after he had caught > e with it again# Even >ore so5 > aybe# You see5 >y brain was co> <=ete=y
inca<ab=e of getting it# 9't: here being that another > an was better than > e in anything5 >uch =ess a
co> bat art that had as its sine Kua non the singu=ar Kua=ity of W'**#
And 9wi==: wi== get you hurt# &ecause Lust as hard as he had been kicking >e > id-chest to drive off >y
head-hunting barrages of Labs and cros ses5 he had a=so been kicking >y =ead ?=eft@ =eg with a
roundhouse kick# (he standard defense for this in > uay thai or kickboCing or san shou is to raise the
knee u< at the >o> ent the kick is de=ivered so that its not de=ivered fu== on the f=ank of the thigh#
&ut knowing this and doing this are two very5 very differe nt things#
And figuring out why you wou=d !%( do it if you K!E W it wou=d save you is s o> ething e=se
entire=y and <robab=y a== goes back to wi==# %r what >y great- grand> other wou=d have ca==ed 9hard-
headednes s#:
' didnt do it because ' us ed to be ab=e to s Kuat ;TH <ounds for >any5 > any re<s#
' didnt do it becaus e ' be=ieved ' cou=d take >ore <unish>ent than he cou=d de=iver before ' de=ivered
hi> the <unish> ent that was going to de=iver unto > e a win#
; of I
' didnt do it beca us e5 as a eorgian na> ed ( i> e A==en ' us ed to <=ay rugby with once
<ainstaking=y eC<=ained to > e5 ' was 9a godda> ned stu<id son of a bitch#:
' didnt do it for any reasons that >ight have obscured the > echanica= and > ateria= functioning of
rea=ity5 because5 you s ee5 what ha<<ens to the side of the thigh when it is c=ear that the owner of that
thigh wi== !%( take the <recaution to s ave it is that the > usc=e starts to s<as> to <rotect itse =f# 't
draws itse=f u< tight# Knots its e=f in sort of a thickening bu=ge# Which works at the site of the offens e#
A site that was getting no rest as *e was .ead-Eye .ick with the kicks5 and they ca> e with sickening
re gu=arity on that one s<ot5 deviating neither =eft nor right#
And so the >usc=e hit s <as >5 and ' refused to have it not s<as> by refusing to defend it the way '
know ' shou=d unti= one > orning when the angry ba== of a thigh >usc=e fina==y gave way the on=y <=ace
it cou=d/ at the tendon# And it was =ike a sni<er had s hot >e# We had been working around each other
in the ring and ' had not even been kicked# 'n fact the first thing he s aid to >e <os t facto was5 9' didnt
even (%U- ) you#: ' was Lust > oving5 fro> the right to >y =eft5 when ' was shot# %r >aybe it was >
ore =ike when a bridge goes5 trund=ed under as a resu=t of the <roverbia= =ast straw on the <roverbia=
ca>e=# 'n any case5 ' heard it go through the din of b=aring hi< ho<5 round buAAers5 and the grunt and
strugg=e of =ife in the s Kuared circ=e#
' fe== to the canvas and5 =ike an ani>a=5 ' started craw=ing# ' didnt know where or for what reason5 and
when ' fina==y tried to s tand u< and <ut weight on the =eg ' i> >ediate =y fe== down# And of cours e5 '
refused to !%( try to s tand u< on the =eg5 and so ' ste<<ed and fe==5 ste<<ed and fe==5 ste<<ed and fe==
a== the way to >y car in the <arking =ot5 where ' drove > y as s to the hos <ita= and where the =ying
doctor s aid it was Lus t a strain and ice and as<irin wou=d he=< >e i> >ea surab=y#
Es<ecia==y if by 9i>> easurab=y: he > eant not at a==#
A subs eKuent ,$' revea=ed a ru<tured Kuadrice<s tendon ?9(he =as t guy ' saw with an inLury =ike this
had been kicked 7 by a horse:@5 whi=e a subs eKuent vis it to a surgeon and a warning that ' was
=ooking at 9being cri<<=ed for =ife: if ' was going to choose to do without the surgery <ro> <ted >e to
do the surgery# ( hen s iC > onths of re hab after the surgery a nd the =earning to wa=k again# A==
<ointing > e toward the day we a== knew was co> ing#
And when ' ste<<ed into that very sa>e ring with the very sa> e -ung *e5 ' rea==y cou=d not have fe=t
better# )e had5 in > y ti>e away5 started training for his first >iCed > artia= arts fight5 and as of this
writing has fought twice# Fought twice and won twice# Yes5 yes# And 'd =ike to think that ' had a =itt=e
bit to do with that# A=>ost =ike so> eone > ight =ike to think that beca us e they voted for the <resident
that theyve >ade <o=icy# Yes5 des <ite the <resence of )a== of Fa>er Frank "ha>rock as an
infreKuent training <artner a=ong with &raAi=ian Liu-Lits u great arth (ay=or and a hos t of others5 'd
=ike to think that it was ,E # ,e and >y hu>b=e contribution that awakened in hi> an a wareness of
the5 u> 5 <oss ibi=ities
H of I
7 the <oss ibi=ities inherent in fucking u< so> e <unk whose reach
overeCtended his gras<#
"%5 -U! *E 5 W E ,EE( A A'!6
-U! *E" F A2% $' (E K !% -K% U( ")% (" A!. )% W (% .E*' 2E$ ()E,
1# "P '!!' ! ) %% K K' -K 7 P $E FE$A&*Y (% ()E )EA./ 9' hit one of these in a 1IIJ
fight ' had against &en )arris# )e ke<t circ=ing to > y =eft and ' ai>ed it at his neck5 c=i<<ed his head
instead5 and he was out# (his kick is genera==y fe=t to be a =ow-<ercentage > ove and its very rare that
it works5 but ' on=y needed it to work once and it <robab=y worked becaus e of >y s<eed# And to
defend against it0 E ither b=ock it with both hands or Lust get out of the way#:
8# $') ( )%%K/ 9' knocked out Arne "o=dwede= with this in the s eventh round but ' s witched u<
on this# ' was standing south<aw# And de=ivered it to his head# And he was out# "i> <=e#:
M# $') ( K '-K 7 A A' ! W' () () E ) EA./ 9't was fifty-two s econds into the first round
against ,inaro (auro and ' set hi> u< with a Lab-cross-hook and then a =eft kick to the body and
fina==y a right kick to his te> <=e that <ut hi> out# ' thought it Lust c=i<<ed his head but it did the Lob#
You know5 its funny# 'f ' *%%K for a knockout5 ' never get it# "o ' Lust take what ' get and if hes
out when its over0 We==5 fine#:
;# ") '! K'-K / 9(his was a setu< straight u<# ' was <unching his X.an arrettsY head and then =eg
kicks to his =egs# E ither high or =ow s o5 that he wasnt thinking at a== about his >id-section# And
then ' threw it a== behind a shin kick to his body and ' heard two A"P" and that was it#:
H# &%.Y "*A,/ 9You know5 theres this tendency to think that a
E of I
body s=a> is Lust s o>e bu==s hit <rofessiona = wrest=ing > ove5: said *e5 shaking his head Kuick=y fro>
s ide to side# 9&ut you can F'!'") so>eone with one of these# 'f '> s=a> >ing you on the ground
fro>
>y height XHF1TG Y5 youre going to get hurt# 'n 1III ' had a fight with
"cott "hee=ey and s=a>> ed hi> down and he broke his cheekbone# (hat was it#:
E# "P'!!'! &A-K F '"(/ 9' set this u< with a hook# When ' was fighting 1eff (horn-hi== ' did the
hook and Lust ke<t co> ing around with the other first#:
R# .% U&*E K' -K (% 7 Y%U UE""E. '( 7 ()E )E A./ 9' got ,ike A=t> an in the third
round with a doub=e kick to the head# (hey stood hi> u< after that and what they shou=d have done is
sto< the fight there because he was done# &ut they gave hi> the standing eight count and =et hi> co>e
back out a nd so whi=e ' u=ti> ate=y <ut hi> out with a =eft hand to the body5 he was finished with the
kicks# Why didnt ' finish hi> with the kicks 0 We==5 ' knew hi> and he was a
co><etitor and ' was Lust trying to show hi> so> e res<ect#:
'f ' a> thanked for anything in the future it shou=d be this#
And in the interi> 5 of cours e5 ' <=an for the re>atch that wi== restore > e ato< the wha=e of > y
destiny again#
' > ust be high0 ,aaaayyybbbeeee#
()E % -- UP A(' %! A * )A SA$ . " % F &E' ! A! %- - UP A(' %! A* )ASA $ .
9Yu<# 'ts a== fun and ga> es unti= you find yourse=f b=eeding fro> a ho=e ' Lus t bit in your cheek#: (he
s<eaker was5 u> 5 > e# (he occasion was a show being <=ayed by >y band5 %Cbow#
)unh0
W hat0 &and060
Yeah5 yeah5 %Cbows been a chicken5 or > aybe an egg5 of sudden and vio=ent action and activity# *ike
the running of the bu==s in Pa> <=ona or so> e such thing
R of I
7
%r >aybe =ike so>e wi=d western where (he Kid <resents hi>se=f as the new boss5 %Cbow shows
were5 on occas ion that was a=>ost > ore than an occasion5 beset on a== sides by the iniKuity of foo=ish
> en whoDin various fits of hys ter ia <assioD fe=t co> <e==ed to5 in the heat of a show that touches
on s uicida= =onging5 dee< s orrow5 and a so> eti> es ani>a= rage5 s tick their hand into the cage#
And when they did5 the res<onse was as <redictab=e as it was ra<id/ s o>ebody getting hurt ?and '>
not ta=king about fe e=ings# %r > e#@ and art and the creation of it being defended by non-s tandard
bearers of Eros who righteous=y e>braced the hard truth that whether the rock hits the g=ass or the g=ass
hits the rock5 its <robab=y not going to work out so we== for the g=as s#
"o whi=e > y inLury at the hands of -ung *e5 or rather the f=ung feet of -ung * e5 was as <redictab=e as
getting burned when youre <=aying with fire ?and >ost ring fights areN <redictab=e5 that is@5 its the
eCact o<<osite trade when <=ied in the s treets# %r on the s tage# %r anywhere where the a>ateurs
are <res sed into be=ieving its 9their night#: (he inLuries are eccentric and freKuent=y horrific
eCa> <=es of what ha<<ens when good fortune runs out and bad fortune rushes in#
.ont be=ieve > e0 Fine# ,y infreKuent instances in s uch-=ike street invo=ve> ent cou=d be
on=y anecdota= or hy<ed hy<erbo=e# !ot s o for our resident > edica= authority on a== things re=ated
to ass and its kicking/ .r# "teven # &a==inger5 ,#.#5 who knows nothing if not his way
around a godda> ned e> ergency roo> #
's there any sort of <attern to the fight inLuries youre seeing0
9,ost of the rea==y awfu= fight inLuries ' have seen are the res u=t of one of three things/ A freak
<unch5 a =o<sided donnybrook5 or an uneC<ected act of od s u<eri> <osed on boys being boys#
9For eCa> <=e5 the > ost re> arkab=e freak <unch inLury ' s aw was a guy who s >arted off to a skinny
wi> < in a bar in front of the wi><s gir=friend# (he wi>< roundhous ed the guy5 who wasnt eC<ecting
it5 and he went down#
9.ead#
9Fro> a sing=e <unch fro> a 1HT-<ound <enci=-ar> ed weenie# (he <unch was Lust right/ fu== force5
directed through a bony fis t into the guys u<<er =i<5 and s traight on# (wo of the guys dura= arteries
tore off and his brain was getting <ushed out the ho=e in the base of his sku== by the ti>e he hit the
f=oor# Witnes ses s aid that the dead guy didnt even > ake a sound5 eCce<t when he went Owhu> < on
the f=oor#:
%h big friggin dea=# (hat s ounds =ike Friday night at >y house# W hat e=se you got0
9(here was another ti> e when a guy ca> e in who had been head-butted in the s ide and his =ung was
<unctured# )e had four broken ribs 5 a chest fu== of b=ood5 and his right =ung and a== the b=ood were <us
hing his heart into his other =ung5
J of I
co==a<sing it# ( he guy with the bu> =ung was about EFRG5 the guy who head-
butted hi> was about HF8G5 but <retty wiry# We s tuck a chest tube in the right s ide
and s ucked out a== the b=ood5 his =ungs b=ew back u< and he did a== right#
9&ut in the =o<sided category a =ot of the rea==y ug=y stuff co> es fro> a guy being down on the ground
with three or four guys kicking hi> # ,y dad a=ways to=d >e never to kick anyone on the ground
un=ess you intended to ki== hi> 5 and there is a =ot to that# 7
9%ne guy ca>e in who was s ti== a=ive5 but his head had been kicked s o > uch that it was hard to te==
where his face was# )e had a shaved hea d5 but the s kin had been deg=oved fro> his face and head and
his =i<s and Law were a== <u=veriAed# )is nos e was Lus t a cou<=e of round ho=es# %ne ear was gone and
the other =ooked =ike an o=d rag# A>aAing=y5 he was awake and trying to ta=k5 but his tongue was Lust
writhing around in a wet b=oody ho=e5 with s <it and b=ood dribb=ing out#
9We wired his Law and sewed everything back u<# )is eyeba==s werent ru<tured5 and when ' s
aw hi> a few weeks =ater he =ooked fair=y hu>anoid# )e had a <icture of what he =ooked =ike before
the beating that he brought to he=< the doctor5 and he was an ug=y fucker anyway# OYou cant >ake
chicken sa=ad out of chicken shit5 he said# ' a=ways wondered why those guys were s o <iss ed at hi>#:
%kay# !ow there is a <oss ibi=ity that ' a> co><=ete=y naus eated#
9%h no# WA'( 7 'n the act-of-od category one rea==y stands outD he was a ra<<er in the O&iggie >
o=d who was bustin a few rhy>es at the eC<ense of so>e thug in the audience# (he thug >et hi> in the
<arking =ot and <roceeded to ra< with his fists# (he victi> tried to run away5 and s te<<ed off a five-foot
wa== into a ho=e# )is ank=e dis=ocated5 the bone broke5 and his ank=e bone tore through his s kin# )e was
so big that he didnt s to< fa==ing unti= he hit the botto> of the >ud- and-od-knows -what ho=e5 and
when ' > et hi> his foot was u< ha=fway to his knee5 s ticking out =ike a f=i<<er5 and there was about
eight inches of bare bone hanging out of the wound# (he end of his bone5 with the Loint carti=age on it5
had a bott=e ca< e> bedded in it# )e <atched u< nice5 and went on to ra< again#:
I of I
And the wor=d thanks you5 '> s ure#
9' got two > ore for you5 though# (his kid cha==enged a c=as s> ate to a kung-fu batt=e for stea=ing his
twe=ve-sided die or s o>ething# )e showed u< to the fight with nunchucks5 but his o<<onent said5 O!o
way5 dude5 fists on=y (he kid s et his chucks down and <roceeded to enter the dragon# At so>e
<oint his o<<onent kicked hi> and he fe== back on the nunchucks# %ne of the ha nd=es got stuck right
into his side and tented out his s to> ach right under the ribs# (he <ara>edics brought hi> in with a
bandage wra<<ed around hi> 5 the nunchuck hand=e s tra<<ed to his che st# ( he fight was over5 and
the kid =ost a few feet of intestine#
9Which =eads >e to the worst one of a==# "o>e kids in the back of a <icku< truck were driving around5
throwing stuff at adu=t <edestrians and genera==y de<orting the>s e=ves =ike Luveni=e de=inKuents# %ne
of the kids ye==ed so>ething at a forty-ish Asian >an5 and threw a bott=e at hi># (he Asian >an
shouted s o> ething back5 and the kid5 obvious=y ho<<ed u< on so>ething5 Lu> <ed out of the truck
and rushed the guy5 ye==ing OWhat are you gonna do about it -hinkee060 or so> ething to
that effect# (he As ian guy <u==ed out a s nubnos e #MHR and shot the kid right in the eye# (here
was ho=e bigger than >y fist in the back of the kids head# (he guy was a -a>bodian gangster# (he
wrong guy to > ess with5 a<<arent=y#:
A<<arent=y#
8J
E' ) (
()E %!*Y F')( "P%$( ,E!('%!E. '! ()E &'&*E
() E 2E$"E" ' !%$E. &Y
P *A-A$. WA2'! P$'-K "
A ( F% %(&A ** A ,E" / E! E"' " M8/8H
8T 7 &eho=d5 thy servant 1 acob is behind us# For he s aid5 ' wi== a<<eas e hi> with the <resent that
goeth before >e5 a nd afterward ' wi== see his faceN <er- adventure he wi== acce<t of > e# 7
8; And 1acob was =eft a=oneN and there wrest=ed a > an with hi> unti= the breaking of the day#
8H And when he saw that he <revai=ed not against hi>5 he touched the ho==ow of his thighN and the
ho==ow of 1acobs thigh was out of Loint5 as he wrest=ed with hi>#
8J
8E And he said5 *et > e go5 for the day breaketh# And he s aid5 ' wi== not =et thee go5 eCce<t thou b=es s
> e#
8R And he said unto hi>5 What is thy na>e0 And he s aid5 1acob#
8J And he said5 (hy na> e s ha== be ca==ed no > ore 1acob5 but 's rae=/ for as a <rince has t thou <owe r
with od and with >en5 and hast <revai=ed#
8I And 1acob as ked hi> 5 and said5 (e== >e5 ' <ray thee5 thy na> e# And he said5 Wherefore is it that
thou dost ask after >y na> e0 And he b=es sed hi> there#
MT And 1acob ca==ed the na>e of the <=ace Penie=/ for ' have s een od face to face5 and >y =ife is <res
erved#
M1 And as he <assed over Penue= the sun ros e u<on hi> 5 and he ha=ted u<on his thigh#
M8 ( herefore the chi=dren of 's rae= eat not of the sinew which shrank5 which is u<on the ho==ow of the
thigh5 unto this day/ because he touched the ho==ow of 1 acobs thigh in the s inew that shrank#
(rans=ation/ (hough this >ight s ound =ike a weekend in Ke y West to the untrained eye5 the
subteCt for the> s that have got the eyes to see is this/ u> 7 er5 we== '> not the wor=ds best or
biggest bib=ica= scho=ar# ,aybe it >eans that the fight s ty=e of choice of Kuasi-divine beings of s
hadow and =ight ?as we== as ancient reeks 7 wres t=ing is a=so > entioned in the '=iad and the
%dyss ey 7 and
8J
A>erican <o=itics too5 ' >ean )ones t Abe *inco=n was a wrest=ers cogno>en if ' ever heard one@ is
7 yu<5 you got it/ wrass =in#
$A PP *E ()' "6
As the o=d s awD as <o<u=ariAed by the first fa>i=y of gra<<=ing arts5 the &raAi=ian racies Dgoes5
>ost fights end u< on the ground# %r as the wide=y <roc=ai>ed od of Profess iona= Wrest=ing ?when
<rofes siona= wrest=ing wasnt > ere >usc=e ba==et@ Kar= otch s aid5 9&u==s die on the f=oor#: "o it is
that if youre going to s cra<5 the <rogression wi== go thus=y/
1# You and your o<<onent wi== begin <unching each other on or about the facia= area#
8# (he one who draws the greater nu>ber of <unches to the facia= area5 or who5 as it is es tab=ished5
wi== not be ab=e to return the <unches5 hereu<on begins to 7
M# rab their o<<onent to either staunch the f=ow of <unches to the gri== or to work on a P=an & that
invo=ves 5 if theyre =ucky5 a know=edge base that wi== have the> i> >obi=iAing the o<<onent through
the carefu= a<<=ication of chokes5 ar>bars5 and =eg=ocks that hy<ereCtend the Loints of the ar>s and
=egs#
;# When one of these are successfu==y =ocked in5 the =oser wi== begin > ew=ing =ike a s> a==
chi=d and the fight is officia==y dec=ared over5 with great ridicu=e to be hea<ed u<on the soon-to-be
-de<arting *oser#
(his is gra<<=ing#
(o the untrained eye0 A =ot of a<<arent=y > an-on->an c=oseness ?those s uffering fro>
ho>oseCua= <anic need not a<<=y@# ( o thos e in the know5 or in the gri<s of those in the know/ eCtre>e
<ain de=ivered eC<ert=y#
)erewith5 the basic ter> s and no> enc=ature of the =aying on of hands#
8J
8J
$APP *'! )% %K "
A$,*%-K "BA$,&A$" Xa=so known as the ki>ur a5 the key =ock5 wakigata>eY/ ( he fighter
takes the o<<onents ar> and by a<<=ying <ressure to the e=bow Loint cranks the ar>5 or shou=der5
in a direction that carries it beyond the fai=ure <oint# 'n so>e cases the fighter =ies on to< of the
o<<onents tors o at a IT-degree ang=e# rabbing the o<<onents wris t with his near hand so that the
o<<onents hand is <a=> -to-the-sky and fu==y bent and he=d down# $eaching under the o<<onents ar>
with his other ar> and grabbing ho=d of his other ar> s wrist5 he forces the soon-to-be =osers
8J
e=bow u<ward# (his is a true sub>iss ion ho=d# ( rans=ation/ if you dont 9no >as : on this one5 you
wi== =os e the ar># P=ain and si><=e#
-)% KE" Xtriang=e chokes5 s=ee<er ho=ds 5 >ata =eao5 rear naked chokes5 gui==otine chokesY/ Ar> s
can be confus ing# 'f you =ook at your ar> 5 it is tri- seg>ented# At the wrist5 at the e=bow5 and at the
shou=der# And you have (W% of the># Un=ess you dru> for .ef *e<<erd# &ut the !E -K0 We==5
theres Lust one of those# And its eas y to find# You see5 it sits right under the >outh thats ca==ing you
out# ParadoCica==y5 the neck can be grabbed and attacked a nu> ber of different ways#
8J
"=ee<er ) o=d/ A s=ee<er ho=d is genera==y a<<=ied in the fo==owing > anner/ the <erson a<<=ying the
ho=d <ositions hi>se=f behind his o<<onent# (he <erson then wra<s his right ar> around the
o<<onents neck5 <ressing the bice<s agains t one s ide of the neck and the inner bone of the forear>
against the other side# (he neck is s KueeAed inside the ar> eCtre> e=y tight=y# Additiona=
<ressure can be a<<=ied by grabbing the =eft s hou=der with the right hand5 or by grabbing the bice<s
of the =eft ar> near the e=bow5 then using the =eft hand to <ush the o<<onents head toward the crook of
the right e=bow# At this <oint ?or during the <rocess@ the o<<onent shou=d be brought to the ground if
hes not a=ready there# (his he=<s to avoid various se=f- defense techniKues designed to <rotect
against ass au=t fro> the rear5 such as ins te< sto><s5 shin s to> <s5 and groin s trikes # (he o<<onent
wi== ty<ica==y go
8J
=i> < after HV1T seconds of very hard <ressure5 at which <oint it is <referab=e to i>> ediate=y re=ease
<ress ure5 so as to not cause death# %r brain da> age fro> both =oss of oCygen and b=ood to the brain#
$ear naked chokes5 >ata =eao ?or5 =ion-ki==er@ chokes are a== essentia==y the s a>e thing#
ui==otine -hoke/ 'n a fight with three-ti> e U" reco-$o> an nationa= cha><5 UF- scra<<er and
'nternationa= -age Fighting king .arre== ho=ar ' got %( with this three ti> es in a row# 'n >y first
bow in an underground sub>ission-fighting tourna>ent5 ' got caught with this once5 first ti>e out#
Easy to avoid5 not so easy to withstand5 the gui==otine is what ha<<ens when a fighter a<<=ies a front
s=ee<er ho=d and takes the other fighter downward5 whi=e cinching hands underneath the neck5 <u==ing
u< and ho=ding the back of the neck either against the body or under the ar><it#
(riang=e -hoke/ %ne fighter wi==5 using a <oor=y <=aced o<<onents head and ar> 5 wra< his =egs
around the =osers neck# %ne =eg goes around and behind the neck whi=e the other =eg cross es over the
to< of the first =egs ank=e# 'ts at this <oint that the <ers on a<<=ying the choke begins cranking their
=egs tight=y down# 'f their o<<onent is unschoo=ed5 the natura= reaction is to <u== out# (his on=y >
akes it worse as it eC<oses the neck to >ore choking# 't shou=d be noted that for eCtra credit the
a<<=icant of said choke can5 with their free hands 5 <unch the =iving cra< out of the soon-to-be
s=ee<er# 'f youre fighting s o> eone with a triang=e tattoo0 You > ight reas onab=y eC<ect this
choke to be s o> ewhere in the > iC#
8J
Face =ock / Y ou face your o<<onent5 w ho is bent forw ard5 = ike >aybe you Lus t we nt for the gui ==ot
ine and >is s ed# You ada<t and ins te ad <res s the forear> bone tha t runs a=ong t he =i ne of the
thu>b agai nst the che ekbone5 the eye soc ket5 the face # Y ou the n grab the ar> w ith your fre e
hand t o = ock i n t he ho=d a nd co><re ss your s crea >ing o<<one nts face #
*E *%-K "/ A =ot =ike the ar>s 5 the =egs are tri-seg> ented with break <oints at the ank=es5 knees5
and hi<s# Added benefit0 ,ost <eo<=e cant fucking danceDyou think theyre going to be ab=e to
kee< their =egs away fro> you0 !oooo# 7 so5 if you cant even re> e>ber but one =eg =ock5 or ho=d5
you== be infinite=y be tter off knowing than you wi== not knowing what to do when the other guys
=ower =eg finds its way into your hands5 either as
a resu=t of an errant and <oor=y thrown kick5 or because youve s we<t in and
8J
grabbed it/ =ift the grabbed =ower =eg fro> the base of the foot to the shin and wra< both ar>s around
the foot5 <=acing one ar> around ?and underneath@ the ank=e tight=y and resting on the foot where the
toes are with the weight of your body whi=e <u==ing u< with the bony <art of your forear> against their
Achi==es tendon# A variation of this > ove is the gra<evine ank=e =ock5 in which you fa== to the >at and
s cis sor the =eg of the o<<onent# (his s to<s the o<<onent fro> ro==ing out of the > ove and > akes it
harder for hi> Bher to craw= to the ro<es but =es sens the <res sure that can be a<<=ied#
"U&-E!U"/ (AK E.%W !/ (hough technica==y not a finishing ho=d5 or a sub>ission > aneuver5 a
good takedown has been known to end the best of fights in the crudest of > anners/ a head that hits a
f=oor and knocks out an o<<onent is as good as a fis t that does the sa> e# At the very best this is what
you haveN at the very worst youve Lust set u< one of the above =ocks or chokes# And there are >any5
>any takedowns with > any5 > any na> es that >ay or not > ake sense to youD high crotch5 under
ar> s<in5 fire>ans carry5 ins ide tri<5 su<=eC ?not so> ething you =ive in but a throw@D but we== go
over the basics/
.%U&*E *E/ (heres not a =ot of > ystery to the >ysteries of the wor=ds o=dest s<ort# *unging in
the way you >ight i> agine a fencer to do5 you co> e
8J
underneath your o<<onent5 grab behind his =egs5 and =ift the> u< and off to the s ide5 edged one way
or another by your head5 which is c=ose ranged against his body# When youre in this c=ose its hard to
be <unched or kicked here5 and with the eCce<tion of an o<<ortunistic gui==otine choke that you >ay
have o<ened yourse=f u< for by sticking your neck out5 this > ove is a good5 a==-<ur<ose -a<tain Kirk-
es Kue > ove/ dece<tive=y si> <=e-=ooking but devas tating when a<<=ied correct=y# (he counter to this
is ca==ed a s<raw=5 which =ooks re> arkab=y =ike the end <os ition on those horrib=e sKuat thrus ts that
every sing=e gy> teacher in A> erica > ade you do#
"' ! *E *E / 2ery > uch the s a>e but invo=ving5 true to its na> e5 on=y a sing=e one of your
o<<onents =egs# &enefits are that it is easier to get and ho=d in the face of a good s<raw=# .rawbacks
are that =eaving one =eg free =eaves one =eg that cou=d kick the cra< out of you# &ut our advice0 'f you
have a sing=e =eg0 YA!K it# (hey== go down#
8J
% (-) 5 * E&E**5 A&*E/ () E )%*Y ($ %' KA %F ($ U E (%U )
Kar= otch
' had he ard this story fro> * ou (hesA once# And because ' dont want to waste > y energy throwing
you a beating when you ask >e5 as youre > ore than =ike=y to5 9Whos *ou ( hes A0: '== Lust te==
you that ( hes A was a s iC-ti> e wor=d heavyweight cha> <ion back when <rofessiona= wrest=ing
was a bit > ore than <rofes siona= acting# ( hes A s aid that at one <oint his fe==ow er>an-)unga rian
wrest=er Kar= otch had been training this kid and as <art of his training he had thrown rice on the >at
where the kid was knee=ing# After about an hour of this dance of a thousand deaths5 the kid had asked
for a drink of water5 and <ur<orted=y a s y> <athetic otch had said5 9Are you thirs ty5 kid0 '== get
you so> e water#: And he trund=es off and co> es back with a rusty groin cu< fu== of brackish water5
which he e Ctends to the kid whi=e cack=ing evi==y#
8J
9What0 (hesA s aid that0 !o# )E was the s adis t5 not >e5: insis ts otch5 now based in (a> <a5
F=orida# 9,y grandfather had a=ways to=d >e to treat others the way ' wanted to be treated#: Which5 of
cours e5 causes >e to chuck=e5 since the s choo= that otch5 the =ast =iving =ink to a wrest=ing sty=e that
casua==y has hook s5 r i<s5 and stretches as <art of its re<ertoire5 hai=s fro> is distinct=y the <urview of
guys who on=y knew one way to <=ay it/ hard# $ea= hard# "o des<ite hi> doth <rotesting too > uch5 '
know what its =ike to ro== with one of thes e o=d cats as ' was actua==y stu<id enough to get on the >at
with (hesA ?$'P5 A<ri= 8J5 8TT8@ in
1IIJ or thereabouts# (hat wou=d have > ade hi> about eighty-two years o=d at the ti>e5 and the s ens
ation a=> os t cant be des cribed in ter> s not usua==y res erved for anything other than natura= dis
asters #
You ever been in an earthKuake0 (ida= wave0 $iot0
We==5 thats what it fe=t =ike/ a== i><ending doo>5 and then sudden and rushing horror5 and then5 fina==y5
<ain# You >ight be =aughing now5 but it was c=ear=y no fucking =aughing > atter# And the idea that
another <erson5 a <erson who K!EW eCact=y how the body worked5 cou=d do this 5 was the stuff that
=asting night>ares are > ade of#
"o when otch goes a== <eacefu= warrior on >e5 '> not be=ieving it for a s econd# !ow5 '> not
saying thes e guys are not nice guys ?'> not saying this for about five reasons5 a== of the> good5 and
a== of the> having to do with5 say5 >y ar>s 5 =egs5 and neck@5 '> Lust saying that otch is a different
kind of a cat# )e5 and even * ebe==5 is to the > anner born# &oth were hust=ed off by > others in
res<ons e to their youthfu= intransigence and invo=ve>ent in street fights and virtua==y de<os ited
in the care ofD we==5 in the cas e of *ebe==5 Ed 9"trang=er: * ewis5 and in otchs case5 a
&e=gian tavern that was ho>e of the United "trength (esters 5 a =oose co==ection of wres t=ers5
gra<<=ers5 and tough guys #
9(hey trained three ti> es a we ek# ( ue sday5 (hursday5 and "unday >ornings # "even <#> # during the
week5 e=even a#> # on "undays 5: says the sti==-stee=y-at- eighty-two otch# 9' s tarted with boCing and
wrest=ing# ,y father was a sai=or and thought this wou=d be good for >e5 but >y >other screa>ed
>urder when s he found out# ' was not too good-=ooking a=ready5: he =aughed5 9s o it was Lust wrest=ing
for > e#:
8J
(he o=der guysD kee< in > ind it was a tavernD had decided to haAe the big- for-his-age otch and
ad> inistered beating after beating to the te n-year-o=d Lust to s ee if hed stay# 9' to=d the> to do their
best because ' was not going to sto< co> ing# And be=ieve >e5 it a== goes into the bank Xthe beatings Y5
where it gathers interest5 and one day '> going to be g=ad to <ay you back#:
.id he0
9We==5 ' wou=d have 7 : Wor=d War '' bites though and in 1I;T he was gone# 9( hey Lust <icked you
u< off the street and carried you away# ' was on a train fro> Antwer< to )a>burg# )ours on a train#
And when ' got to )a>burg they > ade > e work on the trains # ' was a fire>an5 which >eant5 then5
shove=ing coa= into the engine# (he work was okay but ' was a=ways hungry and ' cou=dnt s
=ee<#:
!ight>ares0
9$ussians# (heyd <=ay >usic a== night and sing# ' eventua==y got a Lob re<airing the trains
with s o>e French <ris oners of war# (here was one s onuvabitch fro> ,arsei==es there who
thought ' was er> an# ' > ean ' had =earned er>an and >y >other was er>an5 but F=e> is h
was >y =anguage# We got into it5 and ' worked hi> over5 tossed hi> in this ditch# You know5 s o> eti>
es it <ays to be handy with your fists#:
And fro> there5 after they =et hi> go to back ho>e in 1I;M for > ore work thatd > ake a >an out
of any >ack/ b=acks> ithing# 9Peo<=e co> <=ain about whats going on in 'raK now5 but in &e=giu>
then5 the A> ericans5 our a==ies5 were dro<<ing bo> bs a== over# *ike E aster eggs # "o it was tough#
Peo<=e were dying a== over the <=ace#: And fro> this idy== to the fina= crucib=e cha<ter/ hau=ed off to a
concentration ca> < in Kah=a5 in er> any5 then to a factory where they > ade the buAAbo> bs#
$escued5 fina==y5 by the $ussians ?and A>ericans@5 otch s ett=ed into a <os t-WW'' occu<ation of
ease/ ,%$E b=acks >ithing#
9&ut then ' we nt to the Euro<ean -ha> <ionshi<s in 1I;E in "tockho=>5: says otch right before he
Aigs when ' eC<ect a Aag# 9Where ' got >y ass handed to > e#: 't was his sand-in-the-face > o> ent5
and two years =ater5 at the %=y><ics5 at age twenty-four5 he was taken the =ong way around by the go=d-
> eda=ing ( urk# 9)e was good but ' had gotten better enough to not be beaten outright# ,y neck was
raw fro> bridging# &ut this (urk ca>e u< to >e after the > atch was over and s aid that ' was very
good# ' to=d hi> OYeah# &ut you sti== beat >y ass#: At this re>ove of years and >ore acco=ades than
>any of us wi== ever accrue for a=>ost anything5 you can see he sti== fee=s the sting keen=y# 9%f course5
the ( urks now dead#: "o5 if not a victory in the ring5 we==5 in the =ong race5 then#
And then change/ 9' didnt want to go <ro because ' was in =ove with a> ateur# ' wanted to get >y
revenge in the a>ateur5 but at this <oint ' had a wife and a kid and ' figured out that ' cou=d >ake in s
eventeen > inutes what it took > e two weeks to >ake swinging a s =edgeha>> er# "o ' started doing
<ro >atches and then s o> eone casua==y to=d >e about these fe==ows u< in Wigan5 run by &i==y
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1H of
8J
$i=ey5 and s aid ' shou=d stay away fro> the> because they wou=d tear >e a new as sho=e# We==5 '
needed a new assho=e5 s o off ' went#
9' go in there and it was nothing =ike <eo<=e >ake it s ee># Peo<=e who never have been there# 't was a
wood f=oor5 stone wa==s5 and a tin roof# And these guys in there were =ike a <ack of hungry wo=ves# "o '
<ick the biggest guy in there and ' take hi> down =ike ' wou=d in a> ateur wres t=ing5 and once were
down he grabs > y ank=e5 and '> screa>ing5 OWhat the he== are you doing0 And he s ays5
OWrest=ing# "o ' say5 O%h# (hats how you wrest=e5 eh0 and we go again and '
head-butt hi> and try to run hi> into the wa==# "o5 yeah5 this is where ' <icked u< what they now ca==
O*ancashire catch Xa catch-as-catch-can fight sty=eY#:
(his s ty=e was heavy on what are now ca==ed sub>ission ho=ds # (here we re Lust > ore of the> and
they were way > ore severe# Wrists 5 e=bows5 shou=ders 5 and their south=and <eers5 ank=es5 knees5 a nd
hi<s5 were routine=y torn# You > ight get better if you stayed5 but if you s tayed youd <robab=y
never get we==# 9$i=ey abused a== his boys5: otch s ays# 9' ca==ed his <=ace the "nake<it5 and it was
$i=eys <=ace5 no doubt# )e was a <ro> oter and he did =ike <ro> oters have a=ways done5 a=>ost
destroyed the s<ort theyre <ro>oting# First they get rid of the tough guys who wont take fa==s for
nobody# (hen they get rid of the ath=etes who even though they take the fa==s we== they s ti== got their
<ride# !ow theyre on=y =eft with actors who act =ike they can fight# ' >ean5 you dont be=ieve >e0 *
ook who >ade it great# *ook who it took to >ake it great/ the A> ericans# A== of these i>> igrants5 a==
of these nationa=ities5 and so ' ca>e too# ot to -hicago and > et u< with ( hesA5 and he was a tough
sonuvabitch# &ut ' wi<ed out three guys when ' got there and nobody wanted a <iece of > e# 't was
1IHI# Fina==y &ig &i== ,i==er took >e to 1a<an5 and 1a<an s aved >e# ' cou=d > ake ZHTT a week there#
&ig > oney then#
9&ut they were disa<<ointed when they s aw > e# (hey were us ed to s u> o then5 and they said5 O)es
so s>a==# ' was EF1G and over 88T <ounds # We==5 1 i> Wright
to=d the 1a<anes e that he wou=d work for three > onths for free if ' didnt go through a== of their guys
in an hour# And so ' did#:
%f course he did#
And s o it went5 year after year5 he crushed the> a==# A==# %f# ( he> # )es revered in 1a<an
today by thos e very >uch in the know a s the od of Pro Wrest=ing# And by this no one > eans
the fake shit5 but the very r ea= <rofessiona= thing# *iving today5 a=one5 with the eCce<tion of a s tray cat
he feeds on occasion and a =oos e confederation of guys =ike ene * ebe== and other known associates 5
otch fends off =ooky-=oos 5 fight geeks5 and <rofessiona= hucksters with a > iCture of b=uster and rea=
serious hosti=ity ?9U=ti>ate fighting0 ' ca== it u=ti>ate shit:@ because his =ove and affection for what he
ca==s the best s<ort in the wor=d is a=> os t >ess ianic and it s ee>s =ike hes the =ast > essiah# 9'ts =ike
Archi>edes s aid5 Oive > e a =ever and ' can >ove the wor=d# &ut he didnt te== you where to <ut the
godda>ned fu=cru># ( )A(" wres t=ing# 'ts =everage5 its > athe> atics 5 it
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1E of
8J
>akes you think and it <re<ares you for =ife# You dont have to be big even# ' fought so> e b=ind guy in
!ebraska and ' went out there fee=ing sorry for hi> unti= he got his hands on > e and gave > e good as
've gotten fro> anybody who can see#
9&ut this country 7 've >et > ore ass ho=es here than ' have anywhere e=s e in the wor=d because they
dont know what they have# & ut '== te== you what they dont have any>ore/ P$%FE""'%!A*"# And
<eo<=e who can teach it the way it s hou=d be taught# ood coaches# And this wi== ki== it stone dead#:
)e gets Kuiet and ' think of that =ine fro> A<oca=y<s e !ow# 't was .ennis )o<<ers 5 9When it dies
7 when )E dies 7 : )es ta=king about KurtA5 and '> ta=king about otch and so>ething =ike the
sou= of the =a st great de> ocratic5 > eritocratic s<ort around# %r > aybe '> Lus t ta=king about what
ha<<ens when tough guys go away and are not re<=aced with anything other than >etros eCua=ity
and ta=k shows# What ha<<ens then0 ' guess we== find out7 a== in due ti>e#
KA$* %(-) " U' .E (% $EA(!E""/ A P$',E$
1# You need five things to be a great fighter/ techniKue5 agi=ity5 s<eed5 endurance5 and ref=eCes#
"trength > eans nothing#
8# You want to get stronger5 though0 "to< =ifting weights # "tart using the s ti== rings#
M# !o > atte r how fancy a car is5 if it runs out of gas5 its done# ' a> a fanatic for conditioning# And
not the kind boCers get fro> road work# ( hats great for boCers because it is how they fight# %n their
feet# 'ts good for the footwork# &ut wrest=ers need s o> ething e=se# ( hey need to work the road/ dog
wadd=es5 =ea<frogs5 fire>ans carry if you have s o> eone e=se to train with# 2isua=iAe yourse=f with
your o<<onent and go through the > oves whi=e youre running# 't wi== =ook s trange but what the he==
do you care0
1udo ene *e&e==
9)e gets a== these <e o<=e =ike 1 esus5 ,oses5 ,uha>> ad5 &uddha 7 a== the notab=es in the
history of re=igion and they have wres t=ing >atches to see who is going to ru=e the wor=d for the neCt
thousand years # ( heyre a== going at it and ' co> e out of the sky and '> *# $on )ubbard# )e had red
hair =ike ' have# "o ' <in
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1R of
8J
a== these guys and then ' say5 9Who is your > essiah now0:
ene *e&e==D 1U.% ene *e&e==D vibes a generous se=f-satisfaction# A generous and c
ontagious se=f-satis faction and the kind that <robab=y co>es fro> being eCtre> e=y good at so>ething
?anything@ that you =ove# )es ta=king about a bow he recent=y took on (he ,ind of , encia5 a -o>edy
-entra= sketch-co> edy dea=5 but he > ight as we== be ta=king about that which has >arked his entire s
eventy-four-year tenure on this <=anet/ a wi==fu= desire to conKuer and contro= whi=e having fun doing
both ?or > aybe its the other way around and there is no enLoy> ent without the conKuering and the
contro==ing@#
'ntroduced to wres t=ing by the on=y wo> an inducted into the &oCing )a== of Fa>e5 the fa>ed
ownerBo<erator of *As %=y> <ic Auditoriu>5 Ai=een Eaton ?a=so known as his > other@5 *e&e==5
we== before he found his way to otch and ( hes A5 was =earning as a seven-year-o=d at the >
eathook hands of Ed 9(he "trang=er: *ewis# (hatd be ()E Ed 9( he "trang=er: * ewis ?=ike you
eC<ect s o> eone na>ed ( he "trang=er to suck@#
9"o Ed says to >e5 OWhat do you want to =earn0 And ' didnt know# ' > ean5 ' was s even years o=d# "o
' s aw so> e rough tough guy with cau=if=owered ears and s aid5 O' wanna =earn how to get > y ears =ike
that# (hats what ' want# And *ewis to=d > e5 O(hose co> e fro> * %"'!# !ot fro> winning# And s
o he =aid it down/
OYou got reco-$o> an5 whic h is fro> the waist u<N frees ty=e5 which is fro> the waist u< and the
wais t downN kickingN boCingN and gra<<=ing# We==5 ' had never heard of this gra<<=ing before and so '
asked hi> what it was5 and he s aid that it was a co> bination of everything5 and s o ' was so=d#:
"o=d enough s o that over the =ast bunches of decades *e&e==s either coached or fought anybody and
everybody who has askedN and5 given his <roCi>ity to ( inse=town and the uneC<ressed need of
a=> os t everybody in this godda> ned town to be beate n5 hes been busy# 9' adLust attitudes# '> a
nice guy5 but if ' dont
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1J of
8J
=ike you 7: and you hear hi> go a== kind of drea> y# 9We==5 *ou (hesA5 if he didnt =ike you5 hed
hook you5 ri< your knee a<art5 break your fucking ank=e5 or Lust crank5 and hed say5 O'f you hear a
crack and youre a c=as s guy0 At that <oint you =et go# '> a disci<=e of * ous# And Kar=s#:
Were they c=ass guys 0
9)aha5 =ook5 either one of the se guys got a ho=d of you and you were dead in the water# (heyd tie
these > odern-day guys into knots becaus e they had a *%( of too=s5 because5 =ets face it5 not a== ho=ds
work on a== <eo<=e5 but theyd use the nose5 ears 5 hair as hand=es and hit you with ar> =ocks5
neck=ocks5 head chancery5 front face=ock you5 sing=e s fro> the outside# (ake the ki>ura# Kar= s howed
>e the doub=e wrist=ock5 which is what it was ca==ed then5 but * ou had done this in the MTs 5 and *
ewis before that# &ut because Kar= taught it to the 1a<anese5 hed a=ways ask > e after that when he
showed it to > e5 OWhat do you think of >y ki>ura0 And 'd say5 O'ts a doub=e wrist=ock5 you
sch>uck# 'ts kind of a running Loke weve got going but the difference between how it is done then
and now 7 and everyone thinks they know this5 but how Kar= and *ou and ' do it is that we work in
the wrist twist before cranking it on# (heres !% f=eC roo> in it that way5 and s o when you =ift5 you s
na< the wris t5 the e=bow5 and the shou=der#:
We==5 isnt it hard to find training <artners if you kee< breaking their wrists5 e=bows5 and shou=ders0
9)ahahaha5: he =aughs# 9You on=y train with guys you =ike5 then5: and he then rega=es with further ta=es
of tough/ hi> with &ruce *ee ?9A s weet guy with =ots of <ar=or tricks but wi==ing to =earn gra<<=ing# '
> is s hi> :@5 hi> with "ugar $ay $obins on5 ,uha> >ad A=i5 and the =ist goes onD -huck !orris 5
&enny 9(he 1et: UrKuideA5 okor -hivichyan5 now one of his to< students and <robab=y the s o=e
bearer of the finishing-ho=d f=a> e that * e&e== got fro> (hesA and otch5 as we== as UF- co><etitor
Karo Parysian5 ken<o karate king Ed Parker5 )ayward !ishioka5 and &i== 9"u<erfoot: Wa==ace5 Lust
to na> e a few#
And KuiAAing *e&e== on the )o==ywood ty<es5 he =ea<s on his other =ove5 which is =arge=y how hes
<aid the bi==s a== these years/ stunt work# 9't a== works together# (he Ludo he=<ed > e with the
high fa==s# And with the =ack of fear# &ut ' do it a==/ >otorcyc=ing5 ra<<e==ing# '> in that > ovie
&eerfest5 a >ovie thats Lust out X"e<t# 8TTEY# '> in the $eno I11 > ovie thats fi=>ing now 7
theyre chasing > e on a >otorcyc=e and '> in >y s kivvies and they can never catch >e#:
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 1I of
8J
When ' inevitab=y ask hi> about the <ossibi=ity of s=owing down at s eventy- four5 he scoffs and s ays 5
9As =ong as ' can sti== stretch so> eone who needs their attitude adLusted5 we==5 ' fee= fine#: And ' can
fee= hi> =ooking at > e5 and of cours e ' know as s ure as the s un wi== ris e and the > oon wi== set
that '== find > yse=f on the >at with hi> 5 <ushing the variances of how far various Loints were ever
>eant to go# )e <uts ten of his do==ars u< agains t ten of > y do==ars in an u<co>ing UF- >atchu< of
,a tt )ughes with one of the few >en to ever beat hi>5 &# 1# Penn# ?,y >oneys on Penn#@
And when fina==y ' ask who e=se he thinks is gre at5 he na> es .an ab=e5 whose
8II wins as an a>ateur and then5 =ater5 his wins as a go=d->eda=ing %=y> <ian > ark hi> as one of the
greate st this s<ort has ever s een# * e&e== says5 9.an ab=e is > y hero5 and the reason he is > y hero
is not on=y because he won an %=y> <ic go=d >eda= but ' 7 because he is the > os t successfu=
teacher that 've ever known# "o even as skinny as he is5 for >e he wa=ks on water# And when ' grow
u<5 ' ho<e to be Lust =ike hi> #:
.an ab=e
't was =ike a =eit>otif5 and its <resence had s tarted to eCert itse=f5 this weird=y insistent refrain5 even
before it had co>e out of anyones >outh and took s ha<e =ike a word# 't was there when5 coAied into
>y window s eat on a f=ight to 'owa5 ' was asked by so> e guy if the b=anket and <i==ow on his seat5 the
one neCt to > e5 were > ine#
!o#
9'ts !%( yours06: And there it was5 fu== of incredu=ity5 and > ore than this5 a cha==enge#
8J
9't co>es with the seat5: ' s ay before <ausing and watching where ' >ight neCt go with this # 9%r
<erha<s ' a> s ca><ering about =ike 1ohnny Fucking Pi==owseed5 <=acing > y <ersona= b=ankets and
<i==ows on everyones godda >ned seat# What the he== is wrong with you0:
Which5 a== in a==5 is <robab=y not a bad way to begin a nine-hour5 >u=ti<=e- f=ight-change Lourney to the
University of 'owa to track down one of the greatest =iving fighters in the wor=d5 s e=f-des cribed
wrest=er .an ab=e# 'n this age of aggres sive hy<erbo=e where the snarky a> ong us > ight <ut Kuote
>arks around 9greates t5: ' think we== be g=ad to Kua =ify this/ 1J8 wins5 1 =oss# (hrough high s choo=#
(hrough co==ege# And godda> ned s traight into the 1IR8 %=y><ics5 where he didnt s urrender a <oint
in s iC > atches on his way to a go=d >e da= that was a=> os t an afterthought at that <oint# 's that great
enough for you0
And it does nt sto< there# After >oving into coaching5 =ike a contagion he s <read this Achi==es-
esKue5 kissed-by-od stuff to the University of 'owa5 where he =ed their wres t=ing tea> to fifteen
nationa= tit=es in twenty-one seasons# !ine of these were won consecutive=y5 between 1IRJ and 1IJE5
and winning the &ig (en tit=e every season as head coach5 ab=es tea>s went U!.EFE A( E. s
even ti>es 5 garnering hi> a career coaching s tand of MHH wins5 81 =oss es5 H draws# !o head for nu>
bers0 (ha ts a #IMJ winning <ercentage#
.o you know what that >eans0 .o you have A!Y '.EA W)A( ()A( ,E A!"0 "ure5 s ure5
doubting (ho>as es >ight invoke the (a=ent Attraction Princi<=e5 whereby the best want to work
with the bes t and cons eKuent=y re> ain the bes t5 achieving nothing of great significanc e other than
being in a <=ace where a== the great ones knew to go5 but its not that s i> <=e# !ot near=y# *ook at the
8J
Yankees# 'ts rea==y not that s i> <=e# What this >eans5 and ' know it when ' hear it and ' hear it <retty
soon after taking >y s eat in his office5 is that5 indeed5 =ike the nostru> goes5 it rea==y is nt about
winning# !ot at a==#
9(heres a way to wrest=e and be s ucces sfu= and win by <utting out5 s ure5: says ab=e5 =eaning
forward in his chair# 9And theres a way to do that when youre <utting out a =itt=e bit >ore#: )e <auses
when he says thes e =as t three words =itt=e
7 bit 7 >ore5 whi=e his hands >easure out in s =ow s=ices eCact=y what he > eans# 9And eventua==y it
gets even harder and it goes beyond# &eyond i>agination# &eyond beyond# ,ost <eo<=e cant even
understand this# Un=ess youve been there# %ne things for s ure/ you can fee= it on the other end#
And when you fe=t it on the other end5 what it did was it destroyed you# (hat is do>ination#:
And that is the word that ' hear that kee<s co> ing u</ do>ination# .o>inate# .o>inating# 'ts on
s<orts gear ' see around town5 and whi=e it never dawns on > e unti= ' see it that it > ight be a bit of
co==egia= cor<orate catch-<hrasery5 its been co>ing out of everybodys > outh ever s ince ' said that '
was co> ing here# ( o describe both the >an5 the tea>5 and his sty=e# And had his re<utation not
<receded hi>5 ' >ight have had a hard ti> e seeing it sitting in this office in 'owa -ity5 where he =ooks
=ike nothing if not a sort of > idwes tern acade> ic# &ut the who=e s tory s ee>s to be there in his
eyes5 eyes that are a== at once kind and <iercing5 and in tota= its not at a== sur<rising to hear hi>
fina==y say5 when KuiAAed about his %!E =oss to *arry %wings ?a historica= wrest=ing footnote5 sort of
the functiona= s<orts eKuiva=ent to for>er & eat=e Pete &est@5 that 9' ana=yAed it for a year# And for the
neCt thirty years # ' s ti== ana=yAe it# 't ate at > e so > uch#:
Past tense0 ' > not be=ieving it#
9We==5 it was Lus t that ' knew that it was because ' wasnt ca<ab=e of doing what ' cou=d have done# '
wasnt thinking about > e being undefeated and a== of that either# ' Lust wasnt focused on that > atch#
And the interes ting thing is that if he X*arry %wings Y had to do it a== over again5 he wou=dnt win that
>atch# )E s aid that# )e said that he cou=d never get back to that =eve=5 that height# And for s o> e reas
on that ended his ca reer# &ut that > atch ,A.E > y career# !ot on=y u< to and through the %=y><ics5
but through > y career as a coach#:
"o it wasnt the burden of your own =egend that undid you there0
9*ook5 ' didnt rea=iAe that s o> ething s <ecia= was going on unti= ' was in tenth grade# &ut it wasnt
Lust a== of the wins in co> <etition that convinced >e# 't was Lust the a>ount of winning that ' did
everywhere# 'n <ractice5 everywhere# (here was no roo> for any other be =ief# ' > ean ' never even
thought about =osing# You Lust knew you were going to win# And this is the difference/ for > e it had
very =itt=e to do with the o<<onent# 't had to do with >e getting beyond beyond# ' > ean5 ' didnt
think about the> at a==5 and because of > y re<utation they <robab=y didnt think of anything
but > e# And re<utation beco>e s a winning <sycho=ogica= factor5 but it sti== has to be su<<orted by
wins 5 and in >y >ind ' cou=dnt =ose# ( o anybody# (hats what ' fe=t# And ' was beating everybody in
a==
8J
weight c=asses # 't never >attered to > e who ' was fighting#:
(odd -onner5 a uthor of a defining to>e that =ooks inside the do> ination of wrest=ing by 'owa
wrest=ing tit=ed5 in a stroke of > arketing genius5 .o>ination/ A n 'nside *ook at 'owa Wres t=ing5 te==s
> e about s eeing ab=e as a coach go u< against two of his A==-A>ericans 5 the dreaded &anach
brothers5 *ou and Ed5 a heavyweight and a 1RR-<ounder5 res<ective=y5 at <ractice one day# 9!ow5
ab=es
HFIG and <robab=y weighed about 1ET at the ti>e# )e was a=so about thirty-s iC
years o=d# And firs t he crushed one and i>> ediate=y afterward he crushed the other# -rus hed#: We
enLoy a > inute of Kuiet before turning back to watch the tea> <ractice#
(he )awkeyes wrest=ing roo> reeks of new-> at s >e== and disinfectant# 'ts a=so two stories
underground and =ike so>e wi=d Wi==y Wonka s<read s =athered with tea> co=ors5 and at <res ent a
Kuoru> of wres t=ers are sitting <atient=y in the s tands waiting for the A. to s to< ta=king about
<a<erwork and for -oach (o> &rands to kick things in# &rands 5 a three-ti> e !-AA and %=y><ic
cha> <ion5 took over after the s choo= gave the boot to 1i>> y Sa=esky5 who took over after ab=e
retired# "o &rands is in5 with a crucia= brand differentiator/ now ab=e is )'" as sistant coach# "ort of
=ike >e having !abokov as >y <roofreader5 but &rands is no coach > anKuU and his o<ening s<eech
starts kicking down the rai=s to hi> eventua==y s crea> ing 9!%W Y%U A$E * '2'! ()E *'FE5:
and it fee=s the s a>e way it fee=s when youre sitting u< at the to< of a ro==ercoaster#
&ecause no s ooner is he done but war> -u<s start5 and then dri==s5 and then a =itt=e =ive wrest=ing5 and
sudden=y it is very near=y a<<arent that were definite=y not in Kans as any> ore# At firs t ' think its
that outside eyes are skewing the s a><=ing and theyre Lust going as hard as theyre going be caus e
were watching
7 unti= -onner te==s > e5 9(his is the first <ractice of the s eason5 s o theyre going
=ight today#:
(heir 9=ight: wou=d not on=y ki== about everyone 've ever trained with who didnt go to schoo= here
but its nowhere near the o<<osite end of things fro> 9heavy#: 'ts =ike ab=e s aid 7 beyond# %r
shadows thereof# 't is5 after a==5 the first day# &ut i> agine5 if you wou=d5 how you > ight train if ' to=d
you that if your effort =eve= s =i<<ed be =ow IJ <ercent5 youd be s hot where you stood# %r if your hair
was on fire# %r if you were caught s =acking you wou=dnt > ake the tea> and have to go back to de-
tass e=ing corn sta=ks s o> ewhere e=se in 'owa# (hey are <ro<er=y >otivated5 and when ' see one guy
in the stands5 ' ask ab=e what of#
9%h# )es in the <ena=ty boC# 'td ki== >e if ' had to s<end even five > inutes in there# 9)ey5: he
starts to ask5 9whatd you do0: And the kid5 no >ore than twenty5 with a =ong s car u< his =eft
knee5 eC<=ains5 with what see> s to be genuine re>orse5 that hed > issed the reKuisite nu> ber of
hours of s tudy ha== because he was training# And he sits for the entire three-hour <ractice5 =ooking >
ore > orose as the > inutes go by# &rands goes over >oves5 >oves that even in de>o >ode he runs
through =ike its a =ife5 and very <ossib=y a death5 situation# Which in a way it
8J
sort of is# Wrest=ing <rogra>s at universities a== over the U#"# are =osing ground ?whi=e a== s tates but
two5 ,ississ i<> ercia=
interest in wres t=ing outside the %=y> <ic s is confined to the bu==shit tights-and-turnbuck=e kind#
-onner c=ai> s that the <ersona=ity ty<es drawn to the rigors of the s<ortD the dieting5 the <rivation
?since recu<eration necess itates ear=y bedti> es@5 the end=ess driving5 driving5 drivingDare such that
9theyd <robab=y be in <rison or dead if it wasnt for wrest=ing#: ab=e5 though5 whos been doing a
fine Lob of hanging back and wandering the >at whi=e offering >inute adLus t>ents and <eriodic
corrections ?he and &rands doing a good two-ste<@5 sees a rosy future5 drawn in distinct=y ab=eian
hues#
9*ook5 when a== of a s udden a guy =ike > yse=f can do> inate a s<ort fro> the ath=etic =eve=# ( he a
th=ete =eve=# And then you go into coaching and you can a=so do>inate it# (here are reasons so> ebody
can do> inate so> ething5 and if you =ook at one of the >ain reas ons5 if you =ook at any s<ort5 you
>ight want to =ook at 7 >yse=f5 or > y ath=etesD not on=y did we do> inate5 but we drew attention5 or
crowds 7 is becaus e there was >ore entertain>ent in the > atches than a nor>a= > atch# 't wasnt a==
Lust fine art or fine ski==s # 't was a harder sty=e # ( he se other s <orts that youre ta=king about here
XboCing5 >iCed > artia= arts Y are a=ready hard# ' > ade s<ort wrest=ing harder5 and it beca> e natura= to
>e to be ab=e to do that# And becaus e it inf=icted eCtraordinary a> ounts of <ain and s howcased the
abi=ity of so>e <eo<=e !%( to ho=d u<5 a== of a sudden what you have is5 eventua==y5 do>ination that
functions as entertain> ent# ( his is rea==y the o=dest kind of hu>an dra>a there is#:
And as <ractice winds down and wrest=ers s tart to fi=ter out5 ab=e co> es over and takes his fina=
=eave of >e# 9' gotta <ut s o> e work in5: he says5 shakes >y hand5 and wanders off to the cardio
area# )e =i> <s when he wa=ks 5 two hi< re<=ace> ents and one that now needs to be redone5 and '
note that ear=ier5 when he was showing > e around5 the thought had never see> ed to occur to hi> to
use the e=evator in the four-s tory ath=etic bui=ding that housed his two offices and their <ractice and
=ocker roo>s #
9'f youre tough enough 7: he at one <oint had started to say to >e5 and ' thought5 before he even
finis hed5 9'f#: (he who=e wor=d ba=anced on that 'F# 'F you were tough enough# And as ' began to back
out of the doub=e swinging doors ' s tarted to wonder what it was =ike to =ive =ife beyond that 'F#
&eyond beyond# 'n the gri<s of s o> e sort of transcendent=y evide nt des ire to destroy5 do> inate5
drive off into the ether your ene>ies =ike ab=e had done in one internationa= > atch
where his o<<onent Lust =eft the > at before the > atch was over5 Lust wa=ked off of it s ti== wearing his s
ing=et5 out of the door5 a grand > a= no >\s# 'F you cou=d harnes s that for a >inute or a =ifeti> e5 to
Kuote KurtA ?again@5 9%ur troub=es here wou=d soon be over#:
9Youre we=co>e to co> e back anyti> e5: ab=e waved#
8J
%h5 ' wi==# odda> ned right ' wi==#
() E &E"( P $% FE""'% !A*-W $E"(*'! -&EF% $E-
P$% FE""'% !A*-W$E"(*'!-WA"-,U"-*E-&A**E( F*'-K
!') ( A!. () E -' (Y ?1IHT@ .'$E-(E. &Y 1U*E" .A""'!
Anybody what ever seen $ichard Wid> ark <us h 2ictor ,atures whee=chaired > other
down the stairs in the 1I;R Kis s of .eath knows if his na> e is on the >arKuee were not ta=king
<aragons of virtue of any kind# &=ack=is te d director 1 u=es .assins treat>ent of <ost-war
<ugi=is ts5 s <ecifica==y <rofess iona= wrest=ers ?before <rofessiona= wrest=ing was a== about tights5
tras h ta=king and (-shirt sa=es@ was dead on# &earing abs o=ute=y no rese>b=ance to the book of the s
a>e na> e since the on-the-=a> -fro> - ,c-arthys-co> >ie-witch-hunt .as sin had never read
the book and i> <rovis ed the scri<t5 which > argina==y fo==ows Wid> arks )arry Fabian through the
rough and tu> b=e wor=d of fight <ro> otion5 noteworthy for two reasons and two reasons/ "tanis =aus
S bysAko and ,ike ,aAurki# Po=ish and Ukrainian5 res<ective=y5 these two fighters were the rea= dea=#
Which > eans 5 in todays ter>s5 that they cou=d <robab=y s ing=e-handed=y have ki==ed Lust about
anybody in <ro wrest=ing today with hooks 5 <unishing ho=ds 5 and s ub> is sions that for> the
so=id basis of the forgotten art of catch wrest=ing5 or what we ca== today sub>ission wres t=ing# (he rest
of the <=ot that swir=s around a sort of W hat ,akes "a>>y $un0 hus t=ers brass ring swing is
entertaining enough5 but when S bys Ako s =a<s a head chancery on ,aAurki ?a ear=y variant of the
gui==otine choke@ if youve ever even been in the s a>e r oo> with one before5 you start to fucking
ache# Yeah# 'ts that good#
"% Y% U$E &E'! -)% KE./ W )A(" ' ( A** A&% U(5 A*F'E 060
Your first ti> e0 ' >ean the firs t ti>e it ha<<ens wi== <robab=y be
8J
re> e>bered in the sa> e way5 that is5 of cours e5 if you can re> e>ber so>e5 any5 or even a s> a== <art
of it afterward#
( here== be the sudden rush5 the s trugg=e ?yours@5 and then the s=ow descent of cottony si=ence
as the voices fade out and everything see> s =ike youre =ooking through the wrong end of a
te=esco<e# ( he first ti>e it ha<<ened to >e it ha<<ened at the hands of ,att Furey# (hough now
wide=y derided by those in the know as sort of a Kuas i &i==y &=anks eCercis e enthusiast5 Furey
was 5 and is5 the rea= dea=# After eight years of ke n<o karate ?9You > ight as we== have been studying
inter<retive dance5: he said@5 a year of >uay thai5 and a > onth of thinking about how another racie
?$oyce this ti> e@ had run through the co> <etition in the firs t bow of whats now ca==ed >iCed >
artia= arts 5 no ho=ds barred5 or sub>iss ion fighting5 using this se=fs a>e choke5 ' had a sked hi>
to show it to >e#
After ' ca> e to5 ' asked5 chagrined5 9What do you do when they get you in one of these0:
9( hats =ike asking OWhat do you do after youve been knocked out0: Perfect# Perfect and <erfect=y
he=<=ess in a wa y that > ost of us havent
been since we were o=d enough to be ab=e to te == on s o> eone# 'ts a
night>are5 and night> arish5 this inabi=ity to breathe5 and if being ab=e to avoid it was <art of the ho=y
and secret canon of cry<to->artia= artistry that wou=d not be revea=ed to > e unti= Furey revea=ed to > e
that he was indeed >y father5 *ukeDwe==5 fuck it# 'd try to figure out >yse=f#
E nter5 again5 .r# "teven # &a==inger5 ,#.#5 .i<=o>ate of the A> erican &oard of %rtho<edic
"urgeons and Fe==ow of the A>erican Acade>y of %rtho<edic "urgeons# )e of the big bra in > ight be
ab=e to he=< >e to try to get >y hands around what ha<<ens when there are hands around your neck#
' cant breathe and its not a ) ei>=ich iss ue# W hat do ' do0
You got to unders tand nerves first off# !erves are the greediest and > ost high-> aintenance ce==s in
the body#
8J
.ont be=ieve it0
Put a tourniKuet around your ar> and start <ing a rubber ba== with your hand# Kee< going# (he
first thing you notice is nu>bness# (hats the sensory nerves shutting off# ( hen your <ower dro<s5 and
not because your >usc=e is burning and eChausted5 but because your >otor nerves are Kuitting# You
cant kee< going =ong enough to get your >us c=e to give u<5 becaus e >usc=e doesnt >ind running on
=ow or no oCygen#
* ook5 anyone who has ever run a ;;T has racked u< a severe >usc=e- oCygen debtD when oCygen
gets cons u> ed fas te r than it is <rovided5 g=ucose breaks down into =actic acid instead of carbon
dioCide# *actic acid is nasty stuffD its what caus es the >usc=e <ain that >akes you wa=k around =ike
an o=d >an the day afte r you start a new training <rogra> # ,os t tis sue in the body is <retty to=erant
of so> e =actic acid#
!ot so neurons 5 the ce==s that nerves are > ade of# E ven a s=ight dro< in oCygen wi== create a net
increase in =actic acid5 and nerves suck u< g=ucos e and oCygen =ike a drag-racing )u>> er sucks gas #
!erves are covered with =itt=e switches that wi== shut busines s right down if things arent Lus t right#
&ut do7 what do ' do0 ' >ean5 re=aC to >ini>iAe the oCygen debt0 What0
'n hot weather a s kinny gir= wi== have a =itt=e bit of vasodi=ation5 where the b=ood ves se=s in her skin
o<en u< a =itt=e so that b=ood can coo= off under the sweaty skin5 and &%%,# A =itt=e dro< in the b=ood
<ressure to the brain creates a n oCygen debt that > akes her faint# ( here are siC big arteries going to
your brain5 and four of the> can be sKueeAed shut by a chokeho=d# %nce the f=ow is decre ased enough
to =et =actic acid bui=d u<D this a> ount varies fro> <erson to <ersonD a chain reaction s tarts
that wi== resu=t in unconsciousness# 'f the neurons arent working5 they dont generate >uch =actic
acid5 and to <revent <er> anent brain da> age5 the bra in does the on=y thing it can do to <rotect itse=f
Dit s huts off# 'ts Lust =ike a co><uter that has heat sensors that kee< the co> <uter fro> burning u< if
the fans Kuit working#
8J
%nce the co> <uter shuts off5 it s to<s generating heat5 and nothing gets fried#
%f course5 once the brain s huts off5 the neurons dont sto< working co><=ete=yN they sti== have
to do so> e > etabo=iAing5 or they die# You cant Lus t =ie there without brain f=ow indefinite=yD at
so> e <oint5 if the b=ood f=ow to your brain doesnt start u< again5 bringing oCygen and carrying off
carbon dioCide5 the ce==s wi== s tart dying# )ow =ong this takes varies fro> <erson to <ers on# 'n
genera=5 chi=dren and wo>en do better for =onger <eriods without b=ood f=ow# ,en and o=d <eo<=e
do worse# "o <erha<s you cou=d be a wo> an or a chi=d5 that >ight he=<#
W ou=d that ' were 7 but ' > not# "oooo# 70
We==5 a <retty good ru=e of thu> b is five >inutes# 'f so> eone has no brain f=ow for =ess than five >
inutes5 they wi== <robab=y wake u< and be okay# ,ore than five > inutes5 you got s o> e s<=aining
to do# 'ts <ossib=e to induce <er>anent brain da> age in three or four > inutes in a de=icate <ers on5
=ike s o> eone with severe diabetes or c=ogged carotid arteries# (hen again5 there are case s of chi=dren
tra<<ed under ice for >ore than fifteen >inutes who ended u< waking u< and being <retty nor>a=#
( here is a=so evidence that going out for thirty seconds causes a =itt=e brain da>age# %ur brains are big
and have =ots and =ots of redundant <athwaysD there are s<are <arts ga=ore bui=t in5 'f s o> eone gets
gorked and he wakes u< with twenty <ercent of his redundant <athways da>aged5 he sti== can see>
tota==y nor> a= and re>e> ber his na> e and birthday and whatnot# uys who get knocked out a =ot5
however 7 've known a few g=uttons for <unish> ent5 <resent co> <any inc=uded5 and over the
years they definite=y deve=o< a certain behavior <attern that is <robab=y due to critica= =oss of
<athways# (hey ta=k =oud5 te== the sa> e s tories over and over again 7
W ou=d that ' were 7 but ' > not# "oooo#7 0
Yes5 E Cact=y# (hey see> drunk a== the ti>e5 and > ay get c=u>syN they
Fight/ Everyt hing you ever w ant ed to know about as s-ki cking but we re afrai d youd### Pa ge 8J of
8J
deve=o< a weird 9overfriend=y: <ersona=ity and ta=k way too >uch about <ersona= stuff that > ight best
be ke<t secret# ( hey a=s o tend to get =ess inte==igent and cant kee< a Lob5 or a <air of sung=ass es5
for >ore than a cou<=e of weeks#
Peo<=e who have had =oss of brain f=ow for too =ong wont wake u< right away after f=ow is re-
estab=ished# (his is true if the b=ood f=ow s to<s becaus e their carotids were co> <ress ed by choking5
or if their heart sto<s 5 or if they =os e a bunch of b=ood and dont have any to < to the head# (his is
what we ca== a 9co>a :Dthe brain has been da> aged to the eCtent that it wont re- boot right away5
and stays in id=e >ode to <revent further da> age# (y<ica==y there is s o>e s we==ing fro> da>aged
tissue and toCic bui=du< of =actic acid and other stuff# %nce the s we==ing goes down and the bad
che>ica=s wash away5 so> eti> es <eo<=e wake u< againD but they are not the s a>e#
Forget the (2 <=ot device where so> eone gets knocked out for two hours and then ho<s u< and
kicks everyones assD that Lust does nt ha<<en# 'f so>eone is in a co> a for a week or > ore5 their
brain is going to be very different after they wake u< than it was beforeD not usua==y in a good way#
"o >uch for U>a (hur>an ki==ing everyone after a =ong co>a in Ki== &i==# "he wou=d have been =ucky
to get a Lob e><tying the trash at the .o==ar "tore#
18
!' !E
'5 "PA$(A-U"6
P AP E$ *' %! - )A **E! E ]1/ E((' ! )%*A $
At one <oint back in the RTs5 it see>ed the so-ca==ed <ointy-headed Eastern =ibera= >edia
estab=ish>ent sto<<ed trying to <ark a bicyc=e straight for a few > inutes and went a== craAy for the
fistic arts# 1 oyce -aro= %ates was writing about it5 !or> an ,ai=er was ste<<ing into the ring to
fight about it5 and eorge P=i> <ton5 with his who=e Pa<er *ion dea=5 was doing it ?a=ong with every
other s <ortBactivity he cou=d get his hands on@# 2a=iant efforts a==5 but the P=i> <ton bug s tuck5
because5 we==5 becaus e it didnt take >uch to get into the ring with another writer# &ut it took a who=e
=ot of stoneage to get into the ring with a <ro#
)ow >uch0
"tones s o big youd break your neck if you fe== off of the> # ( )A( big#
And so it wa s that ' got the idea/ if eorge cou=d do it5 so cou=d '# %f cours e5 eorge is now dead5 a
<oint bare=y considere d by >e at the ti>e ' was having this think-tank-=eve= of ideation#
9We==5 its your ca==5 of course 7 but ' dont know# 7: (he s<eaker was (odd
)ester# (he EF;G5 8HT-<ound editor of5 at the ti> e5 a <re> ier >iCed > artia= arts
rag# 9' dont know if 'd risk it#: We==5 eorge did#
9' dont know 7 they >ight be good-natured to begin with# &ut at so>e <oint youre going to catch
the> with a <unch that sur<ris es the> or stings or s o> ething5 and if <eo<=e are watching5 they
> ight Lust go ahead and break your ar> or so>ething Lus t out of s<ite# E ven if no one is watching5
the =ast thing they want is to be s hown u< by a Lourna=ist who wou=d then write about it and >ake
the> =ook si==y# 7 ' >ean5 their who=e s e=f-i> age and =ive=ihood is tied u< in
their fighting5 so >es sing with their egos > ight be a =itt=e eC<=osive# 7 1ust s o> ething to think
about 7:
'> sorry5 ( odd# .id you say s o>ething0 ' didnt think so#
&ut '> getting a =itt=e ahead of > ys e=f here# )owever5 Lust =et >e say now in > y <res ent defense/
the sun was in >y eyes5 ' hadnt had breakfast5 ' was s<orting a s ore shou=der5 the roo> wa s co=d5 the
>at was une ven5 and5 fina==y5 =ast but not =east5 ' cou=d have won#
18
' think#
' >ean5 if ' rea==y5 rea==y wanted to#
Es<ecia==y if the good e=ves of the Eas t s <rink=ed so>e > ore of that > agica= > ystery dust on the
doob 'd been s>oking5 ' have abso=ute=y not a sing=e doubt in > y > ind that 'd be trans <orted to a
<=ace where a >ediocre fighter beats a <ro# A <=ace where s<eed >eans nothing# A <=ace where .arre==
ho=ar5 three-ti>e U#"# re co-$o>an nationa= cha><5 UF- scra<<er5 and 'nternationa= -age
Fighting king =oses <itiab=y to Eugene $obins on#
We==5 wherever that <=ace is5 it wasnt at the &ever=y )i==s 1iu 1itsu -=ub5 where '5 in the > ids t of this
&ataan .eath ,arch of constant and continua= beatings atte><t to bring Y%U5 the reader5 the bes t
in front-row Lourna=is> # 't was5 however5 where ' > et ho=ar for this first in a s eries of ritua=
hu>i=iations#
ho=ar5 as nice a guy as youd want to > eet5 <resu>ing you were >eeting hi> s o> e<=ace other than
a > at5 showed u< on ti> e and announced that he wanted to work out on the heavy bag before we
started#
&ig-ba==ed >ove5 ' thought# &ut thats okay# (hose with big ba==s a== eventua==y =ose5 cras hing down
under the crushing >ight of the >ighty# (his was > y <e< ta=k to >yse=f# A way to kee< > y >ind off
the fact that ho=ar had beaten so>e of the best wrest=ers in the wor=d5 earned Pan A> and Wor=d
-ha> <ionshi< honors5 and even been an %=y> <ic a=ternate5 fer chris sakes# ,y <e< ta=k ended with
>y >e> ory of the =as t <=ace ' had seen ho=ar in action/ =osing on -o=u> bia ( ri"tar (e=evis ions
,ad ,aC-ins<ired & att=e .o>e# 't was a <erfor>ance ' was ho<ing hed re<eat today#
At HFJG5 1JH <ounds5 ho=ar stood across the >at fro> > e5 who was stretching
18
the ta<e at EF1G and weighing in at 8TJ ?down fro> an a==-ti>e high of 8EH@#
9'> going to try to win5: ' said5 s> i=ing through > y >outh guard#
9)aha# We==5 yeah# You shou=d#: ho=ar =aughed before we hit crunch ti> e# We started s =ow5 and5
g=ancing u< a t the c=ock5 ' was <riding > yse=f on the fact that MH seconds had gone by and '5 get this 5
was sti== in the ga>e# ?"crew it5 '> wi==ing to take >y victories where ' can get the>#@
We =ocked u<5 over and under5 and because of the who=e reco thing5 ' was on the =ookout for u<<er-
body contro=s to throws and was kee<ing >y weight =ow# ho=ar sna<<ed =oose and shot in for the s
ing=e =eg# !ot to actua==y get the sing=e =eg but Lust to s how >e so>ething ' had heretofore been una
ware of/ his =ightning Kuickness #
)ow fast was he0 Fas t e nough that when ' s<raw=ed away fro> his doub=e =eg s hot5 he >oved his
body u< and over >e into a >ove that ' hadnt been caught in in years # (he gui==otine choke# ' esca<ed
and we went to the f=oor and Lockeyed for <os ition# ho=ar the who=e ti> e <ressed his attack and eas
i=y defended against > y guard5 and a=>ost everything e=s e# '5 not wanting to dog it5 >oved into a
crouching ho=ar at the s a>e ti> e that ' fe=t the gui==otine again# ( his ti> e Loined by a chin contro=
ho=d# ( here was no esca<ing this5 even with the ar> over the s hou=der5 and5 thinking that ' >ight be
ab=e to out=ast hi> ?he had =ifted > e off the ground@5 ' he=d on unti= 7 we==5 unti= the birds started to s
ing that song they s ing whenever the end is near# (weet tweet5 good night >other fucker#
And that was it# *oser and sti== cha><ion5 indeed# (he =esson =earned0 9Kee< your head u<5: said
ho=ar#
P AP E$ *' %! - )A **E! E ]8/ )' " ! A ,E W A" $ '- %
9You fought ho=ar0 ' =ike his =ook# )ow was he0: (he s<eaker was $ico
-hia<<are==i#
18
Yeah# Who0
We==5 =ets see if ' can eC<=ain this to you by way of =ineage/ the greatest A> erican wres t=er
E2E$ in the history of A> erican wres t=ing ?though there are whis<ers about thos e <re>odern-era
guys =ike F$A!K %(-)5 and so> e of the ear=y <rofes siona= wrest=ers before the <rofes siona=
<art of wrest=ing ca>e to > ean bu==s hit@ was .an ab=e# ab=es record right before he won the
go=d > eda= for wres t=ing in the 1IR8 ,unich %=y> <ics was 8II wins5 E =oss es5 and M draws # )is
record as a coach5 after retiring fro> co><etition hi> se=f5 was MHH wins5 81 =oses5 and E draws 5 with
1H !-AA tit=es in 81 years #
Which >eans hes been around# -oached =ots of wres t=ers# Wres t=ed =ots of wrest=ers# &efriended
even <robab=y a greater nu> ber# )e didnt have5 <ur<orted=y5 <ictures of very > any5 or any5
in his office at the University of 'owa5 where he had coached5 and now ?after retiring5 hes back as an
as sistant to one of his wrest=ers who is now rocking the head coach Lob@#
-hia<<are==is <icture was on his wa==#
Which is why ' s hou=d fight hi> # For that reason5 and that reason a=one#
Yes5 in a >o> ent of >adness 5 <erha<s5 ' thought that the $1 (ea> -a<tain
?nee $ea= A> erican Wrest=ing5 or $AW@ $ico -hia<<are==i5 se>i-retired and at a
;T-odd <ound weight dis advantage to >e5 > ight hand >e > y rock and ro== fantas y win#
'== <aus e here unti= you sto< =aughing#
Anyway5 thats what ' was doing wa=king u< to $AWs E = "egundo headKuarters #
-hia<<are==is vita was beautifu=/ three ti>e A==-A> erican5 !-AA co==egiate wrest=ing5 U#"# %<e n
freesty=e5 and Wor=d -u< cha> <# !ickna>e0 (he 9&a=ti>ore &utcher#:
'> >ateria=#
(o >e at =east# 'd once heard so> eone say5 9Even a b=ind > ouse can find cheese "%,Eti>e#: And
watching the a=> os t s ve=te -hia<<are==i sitting on the a<ron of the ring5 =eaning into his gir=friend5 '
fe=t the firs t fu== f=us h of confidence and heard the whis<ers of the =itt=e voice that got >e here in the
firs t <=ace# You know the voice that says/ ,aybe# As in5 9,aybe you can kick his ass #: %r5
18
9,aybe today wi== be your day#:
'== <aus e here unti= ' sto< =aughing# &itter=y# At >y own insanity#
'n any case5 in chatting with -hia<<are==i ' was taken with not on=y his <oise but his genera==y eas
ygoing vibe# A genuine=y nice guy# "ha> e that today >ust be the day that he =oses to > e5 ' thought# A
thought ' nurtured unti= we hit the >at and a== thoughts of anything other than > y crush-ki==-destroy
ga> e <=an were gone#
?At this <oint =et it be noted for the record that this was the =ast thing that ' .% re>e> ber# (he rest of
the storys been carefu==y reconstructed fro> <hotogra<hs5 eyewitness accounts5 and5 u> 5 4-rays#@
&ecause >y <refight <=an had > e thinking that guys with great techniKue dont do > uch e=s e because
they =et the techniKue do the ta=king5 ' had decided to Lust wear -hia<<are==i down# ,us c=e hi> 5
sty>ie hi>5 whatever 7 to get hi> into fatigue > ode#
As if#
We >et in the > idd=e and hit the > at# ' have no idea how# -hia<<are==is f=ow wou=d have > ade a
raging river cry5 a nd he s=i<<ed5 at wi==5 fro> >y guard5 on > e5 around >e5 a=>ost through >e#
,y >ost favored wea<onD >usc=e s trengthD was a tota= non-iss ue since -hia<<are==i never
forced A!Y of his atte><ts# 'f it didnt work ?=ess the case@ or he wasnt interested enough in a >
ove to <ursue it ?>ore =ike=y the case@ he Lust ke<t going# * ike a > agician with a > agic hat of
<=enty5 -hia<<are==i > iCed the tricks and ke<t the> co>ing#
'n frustration5 ' >ade to s tand us u< again and es ca<ed with a=>ost everything# ' s ay 9a=> ost:
because he <u==ed >e down and started s <inning around in a > otion that s uggested an ank=e
=ock5 which was i> <oss ib=e5 > ost=y because he didnt have > y ank=e#
ECce<t he did#
*ike everybody e=s e who trains5 there are Lust things that ' dont get caught with any> ore5 and ' dont
think ' had been ca ught in an ank=e =ock for YEA$"# "o i>agine >y sur<rise as -hia<<are==i5 s> i=ing
at >e fro> the other end of >y =eg5 Lust waited for the > o> ent everybody but > e had known to be
inevitab=e#
Yeah yeah yeah5 okay# ' ta<<ed#
And sitting on the > at in the s tunned after>ath of what fe=t =ike a very ")%$( fight ?9't WA"#:DE
ditor@5 ' as ked in this actua= > o> ent of doubt and <ain the Kuestion '> sure youre wondering about
as we==/ ive it to > e straight5 $ico 7 do ' suck0
(his aint an easy Kuestion to as k# 'ts =ike asking your gir=friend if youre the best shes ever had# 'f
she answers too Kuick5 shes =ying# 'f she answers too s=ow5 s hes trying to not hurt your fee=ings#
%n cue5 and at the eCact right ti>e5 -oach E Ctraordinaire -hia<<are==i =aughed
18
and said5 9' eC<ected you to be rea==y bad# &ut rea==y youre not#: Faint <raise > aybe but if ' was >an
enough to ask it5 ' was >an enough to have it ans wered5 and anyway thats a== ' needed to get >e back
in the s add=e#
P AP E$ *' %! - )A **E! E ]M/ A (A *E %F (W % $ A- ' E"
.anie= racie
9A utu>n in !ew York is often >ing=ed with <ain#:D2ernon .uke
We==5 it was autu> n5 and5 as wi== ha<<en when seasons change5 a young > ans heart turns to fancies
of vicious beatings de=ivered by the hands of brawny &raAi=ians5 but that has us a =itt=e too far ahead of
the story# *ets s tart at the beginning#
!ew York was ca==ing fro> beyond the horiAon5 and s o !ew York5 <roud s <onsor of the Wor=d
Freesty=e Wrest=ing -ha> <ionshi<5 was where and what it wou=d be# "tandard city fare5 veritab=e
ho>eco> ing for a native =ike >e/ in other words5 the who=e nine yards of whir=wind trave= and
gra<<=ing ga=ore# 'nc=uding as an e Ctra s<ecia= added bonus attraction a visit to $enAo racies <=ace
to fight hi> for your sordid a> use>e nts#
We==5 at =east that was the <=an# And as the bes t =aid <=ans of >ice and >en often fa== asunder so it is
that > y ca==s to $enAo go unansweredN however5 in a burs t of ins<ired thinking ' decide to Lust % to
hi># ,oha>> ed > akes it over to the ,ountain# Whatever# After a weekend of fighting ' needed to
fight and ' knew s o> eone there wou=d fight > e#
"o for > y s ins ' got to fight# And after it was over5 to ri< off severa= =ines fro>
A <oca=y<s e !ow5 'd not want another# We==5 ' >ean5 <robab=y not#
$enAos <=ace sits in ,idtown# !ondescri<t bui=ding and a guaranteed bracing by the door>an# 'ts
then that you notice for the firs t ti>e that theres no >ention of the <=ace where youre going on the
bui=ding registry and the door> an then > ute=y thu>bs you toward the bas e>ent# And > oving over
the concrete s<read of s tairs5 stairs 5 and > ore stairs and through so>e stee=-shanked doors5 you
fina==y s te< into that <=ace that a=ways fee=s =ike ho> e to you if you fight/ (he y>#
$enAo0
!ot here yet# "o ' co< a s eat on the f=oor and when he shows ' start in on the eC<=anation/ 9E ugene#
7 ' c a==ed 7 and 7 : )e s tarts a<o=ogiAing for not returning > y ca==s but ' s ay '> there
to fight and ta=k to hi> and he s ays 5 s >i=ing5 a== grace and a> bassador-coo=5 9We==5 get changed#:
*ater5 whi=e watching hi> train with cousins $ yan5 $odrigo5 and .anie=5 ' start to have 7 not
>isgivings eCact=y 7 but > aybe5 we==5 yes 5 fine/ >isgivings# ( hey
18
were a== as shar< as 5 uh5 very5 very s ha r< tacks and fro> dri== to dri==5 the racies and other as
sociated fighters5 eyes a== turned toward an u<co> ing P$'.E ?a UF--esKue event@5 were %!#
Which was good for > e# $enAos fatigue s <e==s E ugenes <os sib=e success # E s<ecia==y if by
success you >ean on=y getting > y head kicked in once versus again and again#
&ut as the c=ock turns and ' eager=y await $enAo5 he turns to > e and s ays 5 9War> u< with .anie=
first# ' >ean5 fight hi> #:
9.anie=0: "iC-two5 8;MDthat .anie=0 %kay# Fine# '> wa=king around 8TH these days 5 so5 fine#
.anie= shrugs a> iab=y and a<<roaches >e5 s> i=ing# 9You ready0:
' think ' > u> b=ed 9yes#: 'n any cas e5 whatever ' said started it and there we were5 tu>b=ing down
what fe=t =ike a very =ong hi==#
And ' was ta<<ing >y surrender a== the way# ' ta<<ed to a s <eedi=y a<<=ied ar> bar#
' ta<<ed to a c hoke#
' ta<<ed to a hee= hook# ' ta<<ed to a s >other#
And <retty soon ' was Lust ta<<ing to &E ta<<ing# !ot indiscri> inate=y# ' > ean5 not because ' didnt
)A2E to5 becaus e ' .'. have to if ' wanted to =eave there who=e5 but because after a whi=e there
was Lust no resisting the &ig (hree/ s u<erior strength5 techniKue5 and siAe# ' was watching the
wor=ds s> a==es t horror > ovie A!. ' was starring in it# 'f .anie= racie was su<<os ed to be > y
freaking war>-u<5 ' think it cou=d safe=y be s aid that todays ritua= hu>i=iation had Lust begun#
18
&ecause even though his <ro record was on=y 8VT in P$'.E events5 thirty-one- year-o=d .anie=5
schoo=ed by the >an he describes as the greates t racie teacher everD$enAo racieD.anie = > oves
=ike he is to the >anner born and with s ur<rising agi=ity for a > an that =arge# And > aybe its Lust
that hes the heaviest fast fighter that 've ever fought5 but ' s tart to fee= =ike crucia= > easures are
going to be needed if '> going to be ab=e to write this thing with even a scinti==a of ba=ance5 and so in
an eC<=osion of concerted effort ' actua==y succeed in getting hi> in so>e >odified and s<as> odic s
ide contro==ed head chancery#
enius#
And =ike with a== for>s of occasiona= genius 5 this was >et with high=y <redictab=e res u=ts/ > e
ta<5 ta<5 ta<<ing on heavens door#
.a>n# 'ts then that ' notice that hes chuck=ing# -hoking >e and chuck=ing# %ut-> aneuvering > e
and chuck=ing# "o >uch chuck=ing that its contagious and ' s tart too# Pretty soon '> =aughing > y as
s off# ( a<<ing A!. =aughing# Unti= this 5 a new wrink=e/ ' ta< and he s=ow=y shakes his head#
9What0:
9!o5 > an# You cant ta< to that#:
9We==5 ' was Lust getting into the habit#: 9.ont#:
9"o you want to start again0: ' ask5 a=>ost begging for ti> e# 9!o# You did not ta<# !o ta<# 1ust kee<
going#:
And ' did# E yeing $yan5 who see> ed to be waiting for his shot and s earching
18
for $enAo5 who was now nowhere in sight#
As ' =ay there !%( ta<<ing but getting twisted into a ba== of eCtended <ain ' watched with curiosity
as $enAo e>erge d fro> the =ocker roo>5 dress ed and refreshed# oing where0
9(o =unch# -o>e on#:
Yeah5 yeah5 ' was s u<<osed to fight hi> neCt# Yeah yeah yeah# (hank heaven for s> a== freaking
favors # $enAo5 .anie=5 $yan5 and a host of other fighters a== hit the =oca= s teakhouse and re<=enished
their de<=eted ca=ories whi=e $enAo ta=ked about his u<co>ing fights5 not the =east of which was going
to be >y return > atch# Which ' accus ed hi> of being afraid of#
9Anyti>e5: he countered#
9Anyti>e '> recovered fro> todays beating5: ' corrected# *aughing5 he added5 9Anyti>e at a==5
>an#:
A gent=e> an and a==-around great guy#
(oo bad ' was going to have to kick his ass when ' ca>e back#
-esar racie/ -o>ing !ot to Praise ) i>
-esar racies Loint u< in P=easant )i==5 -a=ifornia5 has <ound for <ound and s Kuare inch by sKuare
inch s o>e of the wor=ds best fighters in .ave (erre==5 !ick .iaA5 1ake "hie=ds 5 and i= ,e=endeA
?see5 9(he (hri== of Undefeat5 or5 %ne ,ans Peek into the Yawning ,aw of (ota= Persona=
Fai=ure and 'ts ( ranscendence ,easured %ut %ne Fight at a ( i> e# *adie s and ent=e> en/
i=bert ,e=endeA5: in cha<ter 18@# What is it that they say about thos e not doing5 but teaching0
Perha<s# ' >ean5 cou=d it be0 -ou=d it be that in a face-to-face cha==enge with > y s econd racie5 that
' score in bigger and better fashion than before becaus e5 as the knock against -es ar goes5 9We==5
hes never rea==y co> <eted:0 ?'t s hou=d be noted for the s ake of future reference and >y eventua=
=ongter> hea=th that this was not a critiKue =eve=ed by ,E5 however# Even after his 81-second =oss to
the great Frank "ha> rock at the "hark (ank in "an 1 os e#@
We==5 theres a big godda>ned difference between !%( co> <eting and not being A&* E to# -esar5
in a =ot of ways Dchi< on his shou=der5 so> ething to <rove5 Lust being <=ain o= sick and tired of the
knocksD-%U*. be the >ost dangerous of the racies 5 because a > an trying to >ake a <oint
is a=ways dangerous# And if he trained anything =ike he coached5 'd be in for a hard ride#
$E-A**/ $ings ide at WE-5 i= -as ti==o is fighting5 and over >y shou=der -es ar and -hris
"anford ?a#k#a 9(he %n=y ,an to Ever Knock ,e %ut:@ are s crea> ing words of encourage> ent#
"ort of#
9W)A(" ()E ,A( (E$ W'() Y%U06060:
9Y%U %((A $EA**Y ()'!K A&%U( E(('! Y%U$ *'FE ( %E( )E$6:
18
9W)E $E ( )E )E** A$E Y%U$ P$'%$'('E "0606:
And when a c=ear=y dis <irited -asti==o returned to his corner after a co><=ete=y underwhe=>ing s
econd round ?you think0@ he returned to a corner fu== of air# !othing# !o one# (o <ara<hrase what >y
> o> used to te== > e5 9When you win5 the wor=d wins with you5 when you =os e5 you =ose a=one#:
-esar and -hris were gone5 and ( )A( " the hard schoo=5 a#k#a# (he Fuck-You Fight "choo= of
( raining#
)ard >an# And =ike >y kid once said to >e when ' was conte> <=ating training with this boCer who
had ki==ed no fewer than ( W% <eo<=e %U( "'.E of the ring/ 9Are you sure you want to do this0:
' wasnt5 but there ' was5 u< at this guys s choo= and in the >idst of an interview with hi> and
=is tening to that de vi= in >y head that was s aying =ike he a=ways says/ 9*%%K at hi> # )es not so (
%U)# ' fucking K!%W you cou=d take hi># You cou=d K'-K 7 )'" 7 A""#:
And thes e co> <=ete=y unwho=eso>e and horrib=y5 horrib=y > is=eading thoughts continue right u<
unti= the ti>e that we change into fight gear and <ut > outh<ie ces in and get into the ring and '
check his ga> e face#
1esus#
%kay# Yeah5 its business and nobodys going to =et so> e s> arty->outh Lourna=is t into the ring
and wa=k out with a victory story5 but you know what0 A hard =ook never hurt anybody5 or so ' kee<
te==ing >yse=f when we =ock u< >id- ring# And there ' got >y first sur<rise#
At about HF1TG and 1JH <ounds5 -esar is c=ear=y the s> a==er > an5 though that
never s to<<ed5 say5 a Frank (rigg fro> rushing > e# &ut > y firs t sur<rise is the > asters touch that
-esar brings to bear/ he waits# )is breathing is even5 =eve=5 and he <arries and side ste<s5 switches
gri<s5 a== with ease# "o >uch eas e that ' get angry# "o> ething5 des<ite a== of the ta=k about the art
in > artia= arts 5 W'** ha<<en5 and ' s tart > anhand=ing hi> # o for a gui==otine des<ite knowing it
wont work on hi> and we go to the ground and he starts s<inning and ' start <u==ing everything in the
house# Ar> s tight and he goe s tighter5 and whi=e '> thinking s trength5 strength5 s trength5 and >usc
=ing hi> to go od knows where5 he swive=s around so fas t and s> ooth that ' a=> ost dont have a
sense not on=y of where its co> ing fro> but where its going#
18
,e5 with $o==es ?=eft@ and -esar racie ?right@ after they both savage=y beat > e#
(heir >irth is 5 ' i> agine5 Kuite genuine#
&ut <ain is a wonderfu= tour guide and as he eCtends fa cedown on the >at and ' fee= > y ar> eCtend
with hi> ?the sa>e ar> that ' shou=d have ke<t tighter 7 and done so fas ter@5 ' think/ odda> n it5
of -%U$"E# And ' ta< and sit u< and everyone <revious=y watching =ooks away# "ad=y# "oooo s
ad=y#
18
)ahah# Fuck that# 'n the crucib=e of >y fai=ure is a greater sou= forged6666 And besides which5 ' can s
ti== beat $o==ins5 .anAig5 E van "einfe=d5 and Lust about everyone E *"E in >usic5 >y rea= fie=d of
<=ay5 with the <ossib=e eCce<tion of $AY -APP%5 he for> er=y of Y%U() %F ( %.AY who has been
training for the =ast ten years under one of the > asterfu= ,achados# &ut fuck it5 '== take >y =oss to
-esar =ike a >an and kee< the whining5 crying5 and b=as<he>ing to a bare >ini> u># (oday#
1E
(E!
"% Y%U$
EA$" &EE! &'((E! &Y
,'KE (Y"%!7
% !E "U$2'U% $" (A*E
't was the s <orts eKuiva=ent of P ear= ) arbor# Where were you when5 in the > idd=e of a > aLor
te=evised s <orting event5 the for>er heavyweight cha> <ion bit5 not once but twice5 the ear of his
heavyweight cha==enger5 and the n s<it it out0
' was in an 'rish bar with a roo> fu= of s udden=y s i=ent 'rish>en# 't was one of the sing=e >ost s
tunning=y te==ing te=evised > o> ents 'd ever had a chance to be <art of#
't was not the s<orts nadir that so >any hand-wringing business> en who were concerned about 9wha t
this >ight >ean for the s<ort: thought# 't was a rea= and true > o>ent of honesty wherein5 Seus=ike5 a
co> <etitors de sire to > ove beyond co> <etition into the who=e e=e> enta= consu><tion thing was
acted on#
"ince then5 since that fa== and the ra<e conviction that <reci<itated it and the s ubseKuent years in the
wi=derness5 wandering and wondering5 (yson <o<s u< on the <eri<hery of > y consciousness 5 as we==
as >y <erson/ sitting neCt to >e at the A2! awards s how in 2egas5 where <orn stars Los t=e for a
chance to be <hotogra<hed with the > ur>uring (ysonN or sudden=y f=anking >e in the > edia row at
the U=ti> ate Fighting -ha> <ionshi<5 where ' find > yse=f s tanding between hi> and (he $ock#
And our conversations a=ways see> the s a>e5 with hi> b=ank=y >u> b=ing cons ent to s o>e entreaty
to 9do a <iece#:
1E
And whi=e it was and sort of re>ains convenient to bifurcate our unders tanding of how this a== <=ayed
out in b=ack and white with the biter5 ( yson5 the vi==ain5 and the bitten5 Evander )o=yfie=d5 the victi> 5
what a difference a day >akes# %r an ath=etic co> >iss ion ru=ing#
'n August 8TTH5 the !ew Yor k .ai=y !ews dro<<ed a b=ockbuster/ the !ew York "tate Ath=etic
-o>> ission banned the forty-two-year o=d )o=yfie=d fro> boCing in !ew York5 regard=ess of his
<assing a raft of reKuired tes ts #
&oCing =oves its cons<iracies# Was it the fact that )o=yfie=d was never the co> <any guy5
<addycaking it with the goodfe==as over at )&%0 Was it the short- order =osses to the =ikes of -hris
&yrd ?who0@ 1a> es ( oney5 and then *arry .ona=d ?who0 W)%0@0 %r was it a <ub=ic aversion to
watching a now-o=d >an f=a>e out =ike so> e wasted5 <unchy and <enci=-<us hing <ugi=ist0
Who knows0 What was known was that a== through the ear-biting i> brog=io nobody had rea==y asked
hi> about it becaus e they fe=t =ike they had a=ready seen it# Foo=s #
(hats where ' co> e in# .riving through the > onogra> >ed gates of )o=y- fie=ds <a=atia= digs in
Fairburn5 eorgia5 it see> ed to > e that none of the us ua= Kuestions that you > ight ask so>eone who
had suffered ear avu=s ion at the hands of a bi<o=ar eC-con ?9Were you afraid0 )ow afraid0 *ike
cra<-your-<ants afraid0:@ rea==y a<<=ied5 es <ecia==y when the bi<o=ar eC-con had been in the
<roces s of getting his ass handed to hi> #
(hen5 standing in the entryway to his <=ace5 a surrea= s cene-by-scene re> ake of ( ony ,ontanas
s<read fro> "carface5 ' > ake > y way to the =iving roo> and ' as k hi> the on=y way ' know how#
(yson0
9*ook5 ( yson is a good eCa> <=e of a guy that they used to <ro> ote becaus e he had ta=ent but didnt
know the ga> e# And if you dont know the ga>e5 they <ros titute you# 'f you know the ga>e5 they
want to get you out of there and get s o> ebody e=se young and stu<id# (o > ake >oney off of hi>#:
)o=yfie=ds a s o=id chunk5 even a==owing for age#
9"o they <ro>oted ,ike and > ade hi> bigger than =ife because when ,ike ca> e to town everybody
got <aid# (hey did the s a>e doggone thing to A=i# 'ts a=> os t =ike they got <aid to ca== hi> the
greatest5 and that was because they were ri<<ing hi> off# ( heyre sti== ri<<ing hi> off# ' gues s he
a==ows it becaus e he wants the> to =ove hi>#:
,inus the ri<<ing-off <art so> e >ight have accused )o=yfie=d of si>i=ar desires for <ub=ic
acc=ai>5 given his resistance to the ban and his continuing to fight in off->arket <=aces =ike .a==as5
where he faced a s o-ca==ed insurance s a=es >an and Kentuckian 1ere>y &ates ?who0@ on Augus t
1I5 8TTE# ?)o=yfie=d was victoriousD ref sto<<age5 round twoDin a fight that "cott Ke==y fro>
-o> bat> usicradio#co> ca==ed 9a sad and horrifying work Xuneven=y > atched
1E
fight5 <os sib=y fraudu=entY that nonethe=ess s howcased the ta=ents of a great fighter#:@
&ut the ear#
You know in both of your (yson fights ' think you used dirty tricks# ' think you Lus t didnt get
caught# You were head-butting# You were wrest=ing5 hitting after the be==5 and so on#
And there it is# A =itt=e sa=t# ' sit back on his crea> -co=ored couch and watch hi> grow > ore ani>ated
than hes been the who=e ti>e 've been here#
9Wrong# Abs o=ute=y wrong# )e was Lu> <ing off of his feet to head-butt > e# ,y head was Lust harder
than his# ,y attitude was O(hats what you get5 sucker# ' dont go into no ga> e cheating5 but if you do
it to > e5 '> going to do it back to you#
.id it hurt0
9Yes#:
And the breakdown of the <ost-bite s urgery and so on and '> on=y ha=f =istening because an
idea is <erco=ating# 'n > y head#
.o you have a training ring here0
' >ean it did not see> that there was anything that the house did not have# ( here had to be a ring
there# &ut even though ' was asking5 he was c=ear=y not te==ing#
Where do you train when youre here0
9Why0:
We==5 out with it#
' figured you and ' cou=d go one three->inute round# You know5 Lust for fun#
)e =aughed5 stood u<5 and wa=ked into a s> a==ish bathroo> off the =iving to take a =eak# ' cou=d hear
hi> chuck=ing5 and he was sti== chuck=ing as he ca>e out after straightening his c=othes#
)ey5 ' train too# ' > a -%,&A( A()* E(E5 1A-K666
9*ook5 '== give you a ride to wherever you need to go#:
'== Lust write that you were afraid to fight > e if you dont#
And again he chuck=ed# ' wasnt Kuite s o sure whether ' shou=d be a s kosh offended at his co><=ete
refusa= to take >y cha==enge serious=y5 or thankfu=# &ut as we wended our way through At=anta
traffic5 with hi> waving after we==- wishers 5 fight fans5 and the s tarstruck5 he got to a <art in the
convers ation where he started to de> onstrate to > e how the co>binations another fighter was
throwing at hi> were co>ing in#
And as ' sat and watched his hands 5 ' knew in that >o> ent that if ' was to > ove >y hands as fas t as
hu>an=y <ossib=e5 for ,E5 to de>onstrate the s a>e
1E
thing5 theres no way ' cou=d > ove the> ()A( fas t# Add in hi> sKua red u< across fro> > e5 and his
twenty-<=us years in the fight ga>e5 ' see that ' narrow=y averted a =arge-sca=e <ersona= nationa=
tragedy# ( o wit/ a savage be ating that sees > e getting savage=y beaten# &ecause if ' did we==5 'd
sha> e hi> into giving >e one# 'f ' didnt do we==5 as >any > ight <redict5 'd be sha> ed into
F%$-'! hi> to give > e one# (hank goodnes s neither ha<<ened5 ' think5 in honest a<<raisa=# )ed
have ki==ed > e# Un=es s 7 and heres the fata= f=aw that fue=s those one-too- > any-drinks-for-their-
own-good guys when they see guys =ike )o=yfie=d out and about 7 un=ess ' so>ehow took hi> down
to the ground5 where >y rea= ski==s =ie#
Yeah# Un=ess# 'f# ,aybe#
(he road to he== is <aved with such=ike words#
"etting >y bags on the curb5 ' notice hi> unconscious =y rubbing his ear with the one hand as he waves
>e off with the other# And ' take a =ast =ook at it#
Yeah# 't >akes sense# (yson-es Kue s ens e5 but sense nonethe=es s#
' cou=da been a contender#
(E! &E"(
&%4' ! ,A(-)E" '! ) '"(%$Y
?() E -)EA( ") EE( (% )E *P Y%U FAKE *'KE Y%U K!%W A FEW ()' ! " A&%U( A F
EW ()'! "@
1# 1oe *ouis v# &i==y -onn5 1I;1/ 'n >y househo=d 1oe *ouis was a=ways <itied5 and his <=aintive5
<ossib=y a<ocry<ha=5 <ost-fight cry of 9'> g=ad ' won5 ,o>> a: was the signature of a cha><ion who
died a=> os t undone by business and his inattention to it# &ut back in 1I;15 if you wa tch the fi=> 5
*ouis 5 who ended his career with EJ wins 5 M =osses 5 and H; knockouts 5 stu> b=es the entire fight unti=
he de=ivers a right u<<er-cut Kuick=y fo==owed by a sa=vo of rights and =efts to -onns head# And
thes e were rights and =efts with those tiny friggin g=oves they us ed to us e when fighters ended u<
se==ing <enci=s on s treet corners fro> brain da>age after their careers were over# And fina==y/ the
right that <ut -onn to s =ee< in the 1Mth round# -=assic co> e-fro>-behind win fro> a cha> <ion
who> >any had wanted to
1E
dec=are dead# reatest heavyweight of a== ti> e0 odda> ned right#
8# ene (unney v# 1ack .e><sey5 1I8R/ 1 ack .e><sey5 history books have fina==y indicated5
was a > otherfucker# 'n that sa> e >otherfucker c=as s that inc=uded (y -obb5 and in which s o> e
wou=d inc=ude the car wreck that 9'ron: ,ike ( ys ons beco> e5 .e> <sey tarried with gangsters 5
routine=y attacked wo> en5 and took serious=y his standing as one of the toughes t >en in the wor=d#
(o wit/ he did eCact=y what the fuck he wanted# ECce<t at "o=dier Fie=d in front of
1TT5TTT fans when (unney5 after a Kuestionab=y =ong count5 ca>e back to give &att=in 1ack what a==# (
hough .e> <sey was =ater decried as being 9o=d: and 9s oft5: this fight was > ore good becaus e
of the sna<shot it took of a fighter in dec=ine than for any s how of boCing bri==iance# *ike &ang the
.ru> "=ow=y# &ut for boCing#
M# ,uha>>ad A=i v# eorge F ore> an5 1IR;/ (heres a reason so >any > ovies have been > ade
about this fight# ,ovies > ade5 books written5 co=u> n inches inked5 a== in the na> e of what everyone
thought wou=d be s<ort-sanctioned >urder# ' watched it on a Senith (2 in &rook=yn and fro> ha=fway
around the wor=d >y > ind was sti== b=own/ ro<e-a-do<e0 odda>ned right# A=i redee> s hi> se=f
for his high=y Kues tionab=e and career-bes> irching win over the co> <ro>ised "onny *iston#
1E
;# "ugar $ay *eonard v# (o> >y )earns5 1IJ1/ $ight after this 0 Yeah/ eCact=y when boCing
started its =ong > arch into tota= s <orts ins ignificance brought about by greed5 confusion5
and genera= stu<idity# * eonard wins with a 1;th-round (K%5 not the way we =ike our fights to end
?we of the rock-e> sock-e> c=ass@5 but a great s tudy a== around5 and a re>inder of how good *
eonard wasBis #
H# $ocky ,arciano v# 1ersey 1oe W o=cott ?'@5 1IH8/ After getting his ass handed to hi> by the bigger
and a<<are nt=y tougher Wo=cott ?he who had =aid =ow 1oe * ouis one ti>e when@ for the E!('$E
fight5 ,arciano ca> e back with one right hand that s aid it a== at ;M seconds into the 1Mth round5
s<inning Wo=cotts head around =ike a to< and ever so so=id=y re>oving the crown fro> that head u<on
which it s at# *ook u< 9gutted out/ win: and you== see ,arcianos face s o> ewhere there#
1E
E# 1u=io -esar -haveA v# ,e=drick (ay=or5 1IIT/ ' started =oving -haveA when5 =ate in his career5 on
his way to his >uch-vaunted5 >uch-wanted 1TT fights5 he fought so> e bu> na>ed )agen# )agen5
in trying to generate so> e heat for a fight no one cared about5 started taunting -haveA5 > aking the
c=ai> that to get to 1TT fights he > ust have fought a who=e <as se= of ( iLuana taCi drivers# (he
nor>a==y b=ood=es s -haveA5 rather than <utting )agen down right away5 as it beca>e c=ear he
<atent=y cou=d have5 ke<t hi> standing the who=e >atch Lust so he cou=d <unish hi> and <unis h
hi> and then <unish hi> so>e > ore# After the bea ting had subsided5 and )agen ad> itted in a <os t-
fight interview that they 9>us t have bee n Xso> eY <retty tough cabdrivers5: -haveA had earned a
<=ace in >y heart# (his fight was no different# ( hough covered by the taint of confusion that >arked
boCing in its dec=ine ?( ay=or c=ear=y won the first eight rounds@5 -haveAs dogged and continued
attack during the =ast rounds >ade this a good
un# *ike "corcese good# (ough cab drivers 5 indeed#
R# Archie ,oore v# Yvon .ure==e5 1IHJ/ We =ove this one si><=y becaus e we =ove the s<ectac=e of
o=d age getting after youth# (he a=>ost ;H-year-o=d ,oore agains t the 8I-year-o=d .ure==e fought
this fight when fighters fought fights/ .ure==es record was J1 wins 5 8T
1E
=osses 5 and 8 draws5 ,oores was 1RM wins5 88 =osses 5 and I draws# ,ost of us wi== never do A!Y(
)'! significant 1RM ti>es5 > uch =ess win so>ething5 and so it was with great Loy that 've watched
?ti> e and ti> e again@ ,oore knock down the ga>e .ure==e5 ti> e and ti>e again5 before <u==ing out a
tota==y tough win in round 11# Age before beauty5 baby#
J# ,arve=ous ,arvin )ag=er v# (o> >y 9(he )it>an: ) earns5
1IJH/ (his fight had such seis> ica==y significant ri<<=es that one need but =ook at the after> ath
to track its =ater traLectory/ )ag=er subseKuent=y deca><s to 'ta=y5 never to returnN )earns gets
<icked u< in 8TTE on a do>es tic ra< for fistfighting with his s on at ho> e# ?%ver0 ,aybe who was
going to take out the garbage0@ &ut the firs t round of this fight is the >ost bruta= > any of us wi== ever
s ee5 and when )ag=er wins it in round M youre a=> os t re=ieved5 =ike Y%U were the one getting
your ass kicked#
I# $iddick &owe v# Evander ) o=yfie=d5 1II8/ Forget the =ater ear- biting debac=e5 forget the &ib=e-
be ating and his =ate-in-winter refus a= to acknow=edge that the circus has <u==ed out of his town5
)o=yfie=d and &rook=yn bo>ber &owe fought a fearso> e threeso> e of fights that stand ?the Fan
,an5 the =unatic who <arachuted into the ring in the >idd=e of the fight5 debac=e aside@ as so>e of the
greates t ass kicking ever#
1T# ,uha>>ad A=i v# 1oe FraAier ?'''@5 1IRH/ FraA ier said before the fight that he was <re<ared to die
in that ring# A=i s aid afterward that it was the c=osest to death he had ever co> e# We==5 death took a
ho=iday this night5 but what A=i had <roc=ai> ed 9a ki==a and a thri==a and a chi==a: when he got 9the
gori==a in ,ani=a5: showed two consu>> ate endurance artis ts fighting forward and c=ear=y choosing
not to Kuit5 and they didnt# ( he fight was ca==ed when a > ercifu= FraAier corner5 FraAier hi>
se=f with his eyes s wo==en s hut5 ca==ed the fight# "tanding to
1E
ce=ebrate5 A=i <as sed out fro> eChaustion# &a==s # 'n great evidence#
F' ) ('! *' KE A ' $*
9' gues s ' Lust didnt <=ay we== with others 5: s he =aughs5 her voice a =ight tri==#
"he0
Yeah5 Ke=sey 1effries5 the $oad Warrior5 the 'F&A featherweight ?18E <ounds@ wor=d cha> <5 the
'&A su<er banta> weight wor=d cha> <5 the W'&A intercontinenta= s u<er featherweight
cha><5 and the W'&F A> ericas Featherweight cha> <# (hat she#
You know5 the she who =abors on in re=ative obscurity5 trying to >ake her bones at a day gig as a
firefighter because5 ironica==y5 chances are youre <robab=y > uch >ore fa> i=iar with ,iche==e
$odrigueAs star turn as a 9gir=: boCer in 8TTTs ir =fight or >ore fa> ous=y %scar-winner ?and for>
er Karate Kid@ )i=ary "wanks %scar-winning ,i==ion .o==ar &aby5 than you are with 1 effries <a st
twe=ve years in the ring#
.oing the >ath5 thats twe=ve years5 HM fights ?;; as a <ro@5 M; wins5 a few K%s 5 and a== of it su>
>ing u< to a few <res sing rea=itie s/ tough things co>e in s> a== <ackages5 is one of the> # )er being
ab=e to kick your ass is another#
9' was <retty introverted5 ' had is sues at ho> e5 ' was ath=etic5 and ' grew u< a white gir= in )awaii# "o
' started fighting ear=y5: says the thirty-year-o=d fighter# And whi=e the incongruity of beaches and
braw=s works its way around your head and you hu> 9&=ue )awaii5: know that theres a who=e other
side to the beach cu=ture that readi=y and Kuick=y asserts itse=f in face of the fact that whi=e )awaii
1E
is <art of the union5 its a=s o a co> <=ete=y different country# A country where being a HF;G s trawberry
b=onde > ight be viewed as an invitation to re> ind a
> inority that they =ive in the on=y state in the union that has a > aLority thats non- white#
9&ut it was a== tough5: 1effries =aughs# Kind of# 9' was what they ca==ed a tita# 'ts a )awaiian word5 or
a "a>oan word5 for a fighting s<irit5 ' think#: And so fro> the beache s to three years of karate and a
chance >eet with .ennis A=eCio ?su<er heavyweight kickboCer with a <ro record of RTV8 with
EH wins by knockout or (K%@ at o=ds y> 5 1effries started swinging through territory that5 though
discovered5 has hard=y been charted# %r at =eas t not dis covered enough to afford its <ioneers =i>os5
Lewe=s 5 and a (2 ta=k show on E"P!#
9We==5 it was tough5 because there were no wo>en a t any of thes e gy>s# "o ' had to be tough because
if '> training with guys5 which ' did5 and do5 theres no way that theyre going to =e t > e beat the> # '
> ean5 if the average <erson trains at > aybe seventy-five <ercent when they train ' was <robab=y
a=ways training at one hundred <ercent because ' was training with guys who were training one
hundred# 1 us t to not get beaten by >e#:
.id you ever > anage to kick any of their asses 0 -o> <=ete=y0 (ota==y0 ) u> i=iating=y0
9!o# ' a> too s> art for that# 'f ' cou=d find a > an ' cou=d beat5 what wou=d ' gain fro> that0:
And then it dawns on us 5 that shes in an interesting <=ace in s <ace/ s hes fought both > en and
wo> en# 'n the ring# !ot over a kitchen tab=e or s o> ething# 's there a difference0 ' >ean5 outs ide of
the fact that >ost >en wou=d rather die in the ring than be <ub=ic=y seen =os ing to a wo> an ?and they
fight =ike it when they do@0
A== things being eKua=5 howd the eC<eriences co> <are since fro> the outside5 wo>ens fights5
=ike a== =ighter-weight fights 5 s ee> both faster and > eaner0
9( he bigges t differe nce is one thats obvious # (he <ower thing# (his is a big difference#:
"o what kind of adLus t> ents does the s> a==er fighter >ake when fighting a =arger fighter0
9We==5 ' know '> on=y going to win that one thinking-wise# And ski==-wise# "o ' try to not get hit and
<=ay defense5 defens e5 defense# Which in ter>s that the average <ers on can understand > eans =ots of
head >ove>ent5 =ots of foot > otion5 which >eans >oving > y body# And then > ost=y ' Lust boC# !ot
fight5 but &%4# ,ost of >y fights have been won by decision# And ' fight above > y weight c=ass
1E
as we==#:
) ave >any been =ost by knockout0
9've been dro<<ed four ti>es in > y career# A== fro> <unches ' didnt see# Which > eans s outh<aws#
Fighting a south<aw is =ike dancing with a bad dance <artner# ( he ang=es are a== wrong and its Lus t
not easy# & ut thats a )o==ywood thing# enera==y5 in rea= =ife5 wo> en are not knocking <eo<=e
out# ,ost=y because knockouts co> e fro> fighters fighting fighters that cant rea==y fight# *ook at it
II#II <ercent of the ti>e if so>eones got a record heavy on knockouts you
rea==y need to =ook at who they knocked out#:
"<ot KuiA/ ir =fight or ,i==ion .o==ar &abyDwhich >ovie was better fro> a fight <ers <ective0
9ir=fight# 't was a better > ovie# ,ore rea=is tic#: And working with A= $a> ireA as a boCing coach
and s<ending ti> e training with &uddy ,cirt5 and fighting everywhere and anywhere she ca n get he
r hands on one5 1effries da nce card5 as drawn by the o=d !ew York s a=t &ruce Anders on5 has her
hitting the bricks o=d- s choo= sty=e#
9"hes fought in %regon5 Was hington5 -a =ifornia5 ,eCico5 !ew 1ersey5 F=orida5 ( eCas 5
dansk5 Po=and5 &er=in5 !evada5 'ndiana 7 : Andersons voice trai=s off# 9( hats why we started
ca==ing her the $oad Warrior#:
9We==5 >y >anager =ikes for >e to re> ain as the $oad Warrior5: says 1effries # 9&ut being fro>
)awaii ' a=ways =ike to inc=ude so> e A=ohaB)awaiian strength s o> ewhere# A =ii is a =eader5 great
one5 chief5 officer5 king5 or in > y case5 Kueen# "o A =ii Warrior# ' think you get the idea# 't took >e >
y entire career as the $oad Warrior to achieve and earn the status of A=ii# %n >y fight skirt ' wear
Pua=i5 which > eans warrior# ' a=so go by Pukaua5 which >eans fighter# 'ts s o> ething ' know and no
one e=s e knows#:
9A=ii WarriorDconfuses yet another5: Ande rson o<ines #
And fina==y ' wonder a=oud if being a bona fide as s kicker u<ends the de=icate ba=ance thats >aybe
over=y re=iant on her bearing the >ant=e of the weaker seC#
9What0:
W e==5 in nature5 anthro<o=ogica==y s <eaking5 it see>s that >a=es and fe>a=es of a s<ecies that are >ore
often > ore even=y >atched in ter>s of siAe and s trength are usua==y >onoga>ous #
9U> 7 :
1E
W hat ' >ean to say is 5 are you finding that being a ki==er > akes your c=ose <ersona= re=ationshi<s into
s o> ething >ore =ike uneasy truces 7 =ike when you go ho>e for (hanksgiving or so>ething0
9'> the baby in the fa> i=y# &ut what ' do for a =iving never co> es u<#:
!o o=der brothers <=ayfu==y s =a<-boCing you around the ho=iday tab=e0
9!o# (hey never ta=k about it# (hey dont Loke about it# ' > ean5 not even a Loke#: And ' try to envision
this weird s ort of dUtente where what you know5 as a sort
of sign<ost of what you can do5 is enough to back the> u< off of you# Actua==y try
has very =itt=e to do with what ' envison since '> not being entire=y honest here because at EF1G and
88H <ounds ' know godda> ned we== what it fee=s =ike#
&ut ' wonder if its a heady5 intoCicating sensation for so>eone who is not used to having it# *ike you
woke u< one day to discover that you actua==y were !a<o=eon5 or so>ething# %r whether the crown is
worn >uch >ore =ight=y5 > uch > ore effort=ess=y5 than it >ight see> to us =ess er-gifted > orta=s # And
as ' =isten to her5 her voice 5 and the edge in her voice that cree<s in as we get c=oser to when its ti> e
for her to s tart training5 ' dont wonder too > uch any> ore5 as after a certain <oint it see>s =ike asking
so> eone with b=ack hair how it fee=s to have b=ack hair#
9,aha=o5 >y brother5: s he says by way of eCit5 and this ' know# And as ' say 9youre we=co> e5: she
heads out to get ready for a "e<te>ber 1; bow^ against a revo=ving door of o<<onents who 9ke e< cha
nging5: according to Anderson5 a== &urges s ,eredith a<=o> b5 9because theyre afraid to fight her or
dont think theyre getting enough >oney to get beaten by her#: )e s ighs5 and his sigh s ays 5 if '>
hearing it correct=y5 what he then very direct=y affir> s/ 9&eing nu> ber one
is tough5 but its >uch better than not being nu>ber one#:
A F' ) ( F' *, ()A( W % $K " %!*Y 'F Y%U .% !( F' )(5 !E2E$ K!EW A!Y&% .Y
W) % .'. F' ) (5 % $ &E*'E 2E. ,E W )E! ' (% *. Y%U () A( ()E W% $.
9U**'&*E: ' " !% ( ' ! ()E .'-('%!A$Y
&%.Y A!. "%U* ?1I;R@ .' $E-(E. &Y $% &E$( $%""E!
'> not out to >ake any friends# (hat >uch s hou=d be c=ear# And taking a s hot at o= 1ohnny arfie=d
?who was no>inated for an %s car for his take on a <riAefighter@5 with a<o=ogies due to Andy
A<<=ewaite5 the biggest 1ohn
1E
arfie=d fan ' know5 is a=> os t neces sary if you >anage to > ove out beyond the <enu> bra of
)o==ywoods > agica= g=ow# A g=ow tha t has the <erfect=y- be=ievab=e -as-a-gangster arfie=d5 standing
u< in this %scar-winning f=ick5 <=aying -har=ey .avis5 a <riAefighter ti=ting agains t the ,ob and
co>ing out (he Winner# You think it works this way in rea= =ife0 We==5 we got a bridge in &rook=yn5 or
a hote= roo> in 2egas 5 that "onny * is ton cou=d se== you5 if so# Yeah5 this fi=> =ooks great5 a== noir-ish
sheen and great editing5 but the fact is not changed that nowhere is the ga< wider between fighting
and acting =ike youre fighting than here# $e> e>ber5 Lus t > oving your boCing-
g=oved hands does not a fight > ake#
()E P )Y" ' - " % F FA -E P U! - )' !
(he >ovie was uy $itchies *ock5 "tock and (wo ">oking &arr e=s # (he s cene was this ca<er-esKue
discovery by s o> e robbers of a <oor=y <=aced > eter > aid# %r >eter >an# %r whatever the he==
theyre ca==ed# When the >e ter > an regains cons ciousness after being head-butted into the un- s
ide of the who=e cons ciousness eKuation5 one robber says to the other5 9Knock hi> out#: And they sort
of s tare at each other and the other one says 5 9Knock hi> out0 :
't was a great s et <iece becaus e the rea=ity of it is >ost <eo<=e have no idea not on=y how to knock
so> eone out5 but why they get knocked out ?9Fro> getting hit on the hea d a =ot0:@5 or what ha<<ens
when they get knocked out#
For this we went again to .r# "teven &a==inger5 whose Kua=ifications as an ortho<edic guy are beyond
re<roach and who ho=ds the enviab=e tit=e of 9"trongest )ands in the -ounty#: (he county0 -a>
ari==o5 ho> e of the >enta= institution >ade fa>ous by -har=ie Parker5 Sa<<a5 and .r# "teven
&a==inger5 a for>er wrest=er <ar eCce==ence ?hence the honorary tit=e@# We deca><ed to his digs in
Eastern (eCas5 and5 fired u< by the s<irit of P=ato ?and "ocrates and =aucon@5 decided to find out what
ha<<ens when the =ights go out# For the <ur<oses of thos e fans of (he $e<ub=ic5 .r# &a==inger wi== be
<=aying "ocrates5 and ' >yse=f wi== be <=aying the taciturn toady =aucon#
1E
' s it not true that es sence <recedes eCistence with regards to face <unchitiAing0
9We==5 the a> ount of da>age inf=icted by a b=ow to the face is re=ated to a nu> ber of factorsN fore>ost
are the force of the <unch and the area of the fa ce that the force is s<read over# Force can be es ti> ate
d by using a si><=e eKuation5 or by observing a we==-de=ivered b=ow direct=y# When a <unch is o<ti>
a==y de=ivered by a fighter s tanding on a stab=e base5 s=ow->otion ana=ysis wi== show a very s=ight
backward > ove>ent of the fighter de=ivering the b=ow5 and a co> <=eC > iC of > ove> ents in the
one receiving the =ick# Force eKua=s > ass ti> es ve=ocity s Kuared5 so in the best scenario the
force of the b=ow > ust be a =itt=e greater than the inertia= >as s of the <uncher5 hence his s=ight
backward >otion des<ite a wide base and good traction#:
' concur# &ut what of the siAe differentia=istics 0
9* ook5 the eKuation is force eKua=s > ass ti> es ve=ocity sKuared# ( ha t is why a s >a==er guy with a
fast fist can hit as hard5 or harder5 than a huge5 s =ow guyD the ve=ocity is sKuared5 and the force
increases =ogarith> ica==y as ve=ocity of the fist increas es# 'ncreasing the > ass of the fighter or
ho=ding a ro== of Kuarters in your fist on=y increases the force of the b=ow =inear=yDif the >as s is
doub=ed5 the force is doub=ed# 'f the ve=ocity of the fist is doub=ed5 the force is Kuadru<=ed ?8 _ 8 ` ;5 E
instein@# 'f you have a choice of guys =ined u< in order to hit you in the face5 and one is twice as big as
the other but the =itt=e guy is twice a s fast5 which shou=d you choose0:
(he guy without the gun#
92ery funny# And whi=e =arge=y correct5 in the s<irit of this discussion5 fair=y use=ess # %kay5 a big guy
of > ass 1TT kg and fist s<eed of H >etersBsecond wi==
1E
de=iver a b=ow of 85HTT!5 but a =itt=e guy with body >as s HT kg and fist s <eed
1T >etersBsecond wi== de=iver a b=ow of H5TTT!6 Add to that5 the s >a==er guys fists are s >a==er5 so the
b=ow is concentrated on a s> a==er area5 and its eas y to see how so>e of the >ost heinous thras hings
in history ca>e at the hands of an average-siAed > an#:
' understand that (oLo had a he== of a =eft hook#
9%nce the fist hits you5 the a> ount of da>age you take is a=so re=ated to a nu> ber of factors# (aking
the b=ow in a re=ative=y soft <=ace5 =ike your f=eshy Low= or cheek5 diffuses the force of the b=ow
radia==y and absorbs so>e of its <ower# When the b=ow =ands far fro> your center of gra vity or in a
<endant structure ?easi=y >oved5 =ike your head@5 s o> e of the energy of the b=ow wi== be =ost as
rotationa= force5 whi<<ing your head around or knocking your Law back# etting knocked off your feet
wi== a=s o soak u< a bunch of force and can <rotect your brain fro> inLury ?as =ong as you dont
=and on your head in the s treet5 i> >ediate =y cas hing the force check good fortune has written
you@# 'f your Law5 tooth5 or eye socket fracture ?or if you are =uckyD your ne>es is s hand fractures@5
> uch energy wi== be absorbed by the bone breaking# %nce that is done5 however5 a== of the res idua=
force wi== be trans=ated into a shoc k wave that ratt=es your brain#
9You see5 the brain f=oats in the sku== =ike a yo=k in an egg# When a ra<id5 intens e force is a<<=ied to
the s ku==5 one of severa= things wi== ha<<en# 'f the force is concentrated in a s> a== area5 the sku== wi==
fracture5 =ike when an egg is struck with a ha>> er# 'f the force is diffused enough for the sku== to resist
cracking5 the who=e s ku== wi== > ove# ( he faster the sku== is a cce=eratedD here we see the i>
<ortance of ve=ocity sKuared againD the > ore =ike=y the f=oating brains <rotective syste> wi==
be overwhe=> ed# (he inertia of the brain f=oating in the s ku== wi== kee< it sti== whi=e the sku== >oves/
hydrau=ic <ressure wi== dis si<ate s o> e of the force whi=e f=uid dis <=aces fro> between the brain and
the ra<id=y a<<roaching sku== wa==#
9'f the force is sufficient5 a== the f=uid wi== get sKuirted to the sides and the brain wi== be s>as hed u<
agains t the wa==# &=ood vess e=s on the s ide of the brain away fro> the b=ow wi== get stretched and
ru<ture5 <roducing b=eeding on the s ide o<<os ite the <unch# (he brain wi== then re bound5 s =oshing
back to the other s ide of the s ku==5 and if there is s ti== enough energy =eft after the brain tissue has
absorbed its share5 the b=ood ves se=s on the side of the brain that got s >acked u< against the wa== get
torn off as we==# (he brain wi== continue s=oshing back and forth5 ri<<ing b=ood vesse=s and s> ashing
tiss ue into <u=< unti= the energy of the b=ow is a== us ed u<# ( he s udden defor> ation and Lo=t to the
brain wi== interru<t nerve conduction5 and the syste> crashes# And reboots# 'f you are =ucky# 'f you
arent =ucky your sku== fi==s u< with > us hy brain tis sue and b=ood c=ot5 you die with one or both
<u<i=s b=own wide and your body Lerking =ike a wor> on a f=atiron#:
1E
You >ust be great at <arties 5 .oc#
^Ke =s ey won by (K% in t he ;th r ound#
1 of J
E*E2 E!
"% Y%U2E &EE! &EA(E! UP7
% $5 W ) A( ()E )E** A$E Y% U *%% K' ! A(0 P A$( 8
(he o=d b=ues standard said it best/ !obody =oves a =oser5 and on our <o->o f=i<side it see> s
everybody5 and we > ean freaking everybody5 =oves a winner# ( he who=e -hurch of the )igh Five s
ings hos annas for the returning victors a== <ed with the > o>entary g=ory of having ( %(A**Y
K'-KE. A""# Fro> the 1IHTs =ovab=e =oser -har=ie &rown to the 1IITs Kurt -obain variant5 the truth
wi== be <roc=ai>ed/ hangdogis> is now dead# We=co> e to the decade of (he Winner#
Yeah# Whatever#
An ass-kicking5 =ike Fa>e5 is a ca<ricious bitch5 and s o it is that we ce=ebrate the Loy of getting5 giving5
=oving5 and =iving the .e=icate "cience of the )ead Whi<<ing#
" - E!A$ '% !U ,E$% % !E
You ste< away to take a =eak and in your absence a >uch =arger5 handso> er5 and <robab=y better-hung
>an <resu>es to take your/
1# s too=
8# your drink
M# your gir= andBor
;# a== of the godda>ned above
You return and/
A# -a== the co<s0
&# Pretend youre gay0
-# "ay 9"o =ong5 sister5 youre on your own:0
or
.# "=a< his drink out his hand a nd fuck hi> u<#
orrrr
8 of J
E# et your as s kicked# %ne or the fucking other#
Answer K ey
A# * ike (ravis &ick=e said5 9(he co<s dont do nothing5 you know that#: -o<s5 it s hou=d be noted5
were a=so the guys who bounced your head off of the =ockers in high schoo=# 1ust because they o<erate
under the co=or of authority doesnt >ean they sti== dont secret=y wish to do the sa> e#
&# A workab=e s o=ution# (hough5 it shou=d be noted5 you > ight s ti== catch a beating#
-# Probab=y the best in the =ong run5 because5 after a==5 where the he== was that re=ationshi< going
anyway0
.# and E # (his cuts to the heart of a thought <rocess that takes nanosec onds5 and your brainD=ike a
co> <uter a> <ed by .utch courage5 and what youre ho<ing is s o> e s ort of e=e>ent of sur<rise5 and
rea==y da>aging fi=> <recedents ?$ocky5 $ aging &u==5 &=oods<ort@D switches on the ani> a=# ood# (
he da>aging effects of having to =ive =ife under the aegis of having craw=ed AWAY fro> this fight wi==
haunt you a =ot =onger than the actua= <ain fro> the beating# & ut =ets eCa> ine why this is the
bes t choice#
' ts !ot "o &ad
&ar fights are ty<ica==y fought by drinkers# (hat is 5 drunks # "o <=ay the odds D "tretch Ar> strong
>ight actua==y be drunker than you# (he =i>itations of indoor fights cant be underesti> ated either# An
errant bar stoo= either swung or tri<<ed over can be your best friend# And <ositing the eCistence of
friends of s o> e s ort5 you > ight a=so count on the Kuick breaku<5 which =eaves you free to <os
ture5 s crea> i> <recations5 and ho<e to od nobody takes you serious=y and =ets you go#
&ut if you want to fight to win5 cons ider/
(he Knee to the ) ead/ ,ost <eo<=e never think of this because your knee s ee>s so far away fro>
his head# , os t <eo<=e havent s tudied the dead=y "outheast Asian art of ,uay (hai# Wra< your
hands around the back of his head5 yank down with an authoritative s na<5 and =ea< u<ward5 knee first#
As you =ea<5 your downward sna< wi== > eet the rising of your knee5 and when his head and your knee
>eet0 We==5 its nothing sort of > agic#
.$AW &A-K / 'f you > iss you== <robab=y end u< =ea<ing into his ar> s W =a
1 erry *ewis# !% %!E wi== think its funny# E Cce<t > aybe the French#
M of J
-hoose Your &att=es
You want to =ose a fight0 Fucking <ick one# Every sing=e fight 've <icked ?un=ess youre fighting a
French>an who5 given historica= <recedent5 wi== >ost ass ured=y s urrender@5 've =ost5 and for good
reason# !o one <icks a fight they think they can =ose5 and so overconfidence is your ene>y5 and a
for>idab=e one at that# A=so avoid fights with > en with scarring in a few te==ta=e <=aces/ overBaround
the eyes and the ears # !oses are good to <ay a ttention to but any idiot can get his nose broken# ,e n s
<orting cau=if=ower ears and scar tissue on their eyebrows on=y get that fro> training# And if hes
training5 he can <robab=y kick your ass and at the very =east wi== not hesitate a sec ond to > iC it u<
with you#
And not to get a== .onahue on you5 but if you dont have the >ora= i> <erative on your side5 =ike say if5
for eCa><=e5 you Lust burned hi> 5 fucked his o=d =ady5 or s >ashed into his car5 you > ight want to =et
this one go because hes got at =east three good reasons to kick your ass and you have5 we==5 none
actua==y#
" - E!A$ '% "E U!.%
)i>/ You ta=king to > e0 You/ !o#
)i>/ You ca==ing >e a =iar0 You/ We==5 no5 ' 7
)i>/ ' s hou=d FU-K you UP# You/ )ey5 > an5 ' 7
)i>/ ")U( the fuck UP#
!ow you shou=d/
1# ")U( the fuck UP0
8# Kee< a=ternating between 9We==5 no5 ' 7: and 9)ey5 >an5 ' 7 : unti= you eventua==y get hit#
M# * eave as Kuick=y as your s crawny =egs wi== =et you5 -hicken *itt=e# or
;# -rack hi> in the > outh as soon as he says5 9You ca==ing >e a =iar0:
Answer K ey
A# (his works# ECce<t it shou=d be understood that fe==ows =ike this are Lust war>ing u< and they dont
intend to "(%P the ritua= hu> i=iation unti= you are fe==ating the> #
&# 't is untrue that the =onger he kee<s u< the Kuestioning the =ess =ike=y you are to
; of J
get hit# You wi== get hit as s oon as he gets bored5 and with this &eaver -=eaver ra<ier-=ike re<artee5 that
wi==5 in a== =ike=ihood5 be sooner rather than =ater#
-# Ani> a=s a=so =ove a f=eeing target#
.# Why de=ay the inevitab=e0 ( ake the fight to hi> and you > ight not have to take the fight >uch
further# (his is5 win or =ose5 obvious=y the su<erior choice# -hoose it and 7
.%!( % -$ASY
,ore fights are =ost fro> the bio<hysica= functioning of stres s-induced fatigue than they are fro>
inferior techniKue# 'n other words5 re=aC# * ike you wou=d for a bicyc=e crash# %r a <rostate eCa> # 'f
you can fight with as > uch brio after five > inutes ?an eternity in fight ti> e@ as you can after
twenty s econds5 you wi== <robab=y win# "o rea=iAe ti>e is on your side# Whi=e you need to fight with
so>e s ort of e> otiona= content to your actions 5 anything too overboard wi== fuck you in the =ong run#
' guarantee it#
Your best s trike in this instance0
We==5 since hes c=ose enough to be having this conversation with you5 go to the gra<<=ing card and use/
(he $ear !aked -hoke/ .ucking under his =eft or right ar> whi=e staying c=ose to his body5 you take
his back and wra< your right ar> around his throat5 grabbing your =eft shou=der# !ow with your =eft
hand5 you bend it at the e=bow5
<utting your hand on the back of his hand and <us hing it forward s=ight=y whi=e s hrugging your
shou=ders# ( hats right# Easy for you5 ki==er for hi>5 and the best
<art of it is/ you can ta=k to hi> the who=e ti> e#
.%!( ,AK E () A( "( UP '. P% "(-F' )( FA-E
( hat fake s> i=e guys do after theyve had their as s kicked has got to go# 'ts the sa> e face guys >ake
when their gir=friend catches the> cheating# 'ts the face of (he -o> <=ete and (ota= 'nabi=ity to .ea=
With the Fact ( hat You ,ight &e (hought to &e a Pussy# And they a=ways "AY the sa> e thing with
that fucking s >i=e# (hey s ay5 9.id you see that00 (he fucking guy s ucker -<unched >e# W hat a
bitch#: (hen5 four hours =ater you co> e back and you hear the guy going to s o>e other <oor ba stard5
9.id you see that00 (he fucking guy sucker-<unched >e# W hat a bitch#: et over it# %r get the
H of J
gun fro> your car and shoot the guy5 but for ods sake dont kee< this shit
u<#
.$AW&A-K"/ You cou=d ki== hi> and have a who=e =ot of es <=aining to do5 *ucy#
" -E! A $'% '''/
Wa=king a=ong the street5 <oss ib=y =ost in thought5 you brush shou=ders with so>eone# *ooking
u< to a<o=ogiAe5 you see hi> turning5 sto<<ing5 and g=owering# )e then starts wa=king toward you# You/
A# Finish your a<o=ogy5 throwing in a cou<=e of gratuitous 9"irs: for good >eas ure#
&# (ake two ste<s back for every one of his ste<s forward# -# "tart singing your favorite i=bert and
"u==ivan nu> ber#
or
.# -rack hi> in the >outh unti= he sto<s > oving#
Answer Key
A# %n=y if youre in the ar> y#
&# 'ts ca==ed the fucking tango# E nLoy it5 ertrude#
-# -a==ed the -onfus ion Princi<=e# 't Lust > ight work# .# ,oney >ove5 baby6 ,oney > ove6
)% PE F%$ ()E &E" (5 E4 PE- ( ()E W %$ " (
,ost hu>ans who are not <sychotic use a <sycho=ogica= techniKue ca==ed 9ra> <ing: i>>
ediate=y <rior to conf=ict# (hrough a series of words5 or 9=anguage structures 5: they get the>s e=ves
war> ed into the <ros<ect of vio=ent activity unti=5 voi=W5 theyve arrived at Fight (i>e# et there
before they do# And to <ara<hras e ,ote= Es sage witnes s5 (o> &odette5 9We== re>e> ber to turn the
=ights off for you#: %h5 by the way5 ' tota==y > ade u< that <sycho=ogy shit# .oesnt change the fact
that if the dog is barking hes thinking about biting5 though# Preferred techniKue in this ins
tance0
(he U<<ercut/ 'f so>eone is de=ivering a knockout <unch5 nine ti> es out of ten its the u<<ercut#
.ont know whether its the shar< c=icking togethe r of the
E of J
Law and the sti> u=ation of so>e s ort of nerve bund=e but this <unch is re=ative=y eas y to do and
guaranteed to s =i< hi> into s=ee<# (hrow your who=e body into it and kee< it tight against your body to
start# *ike a Lack-in-the-boC s <ring# And ' aint ta=king about the res taurant#
.$AW &A-K / 'f your hand s<eed is s=ow5 dont even ()'!K about trying this one#
And5 fina==y5 take stre ngth fro> these =ast few indis<utab=e facts /
A# &ig guys usua==y dont know how to fight very we== because theyre used to using fear as a
deterrent# Fight with thes e guys F'$"( because even if you =ose5 <eo<=e wi== think youre a stud5 and
who knows5 you >ight actua==y W'!#
&# ( he firs t <oints uns<oken variant/ dont as su>e that s> a==er guys are <ushovers# Any
ranked <rofessiona= f=yweight cou=d brain-da> age you into dia<ers#
-# )ead butts work#
.# .o A!Y()'! enough and you W'** get better at it# And5 fina==y 7
E# -hoose friends youve seen fight before ?and its not whether they win or =ose but whether or not
theyre even wi==ing to go to the <ost@ and >ake sure theyve got your back# ?You never know whos
going to sit there ho=ding the
fa=afe=s whi=e you get beaten with <oo=sticks #@
()E &E"( F' )( ,% 2'E % F A** (',E A&% U( A !%W JH-YEA$-% *. ,A! W ) %
-%U*. "(' ** K '-K Y% U$ A""
$A'! &U** ?1IJT@
.' $E-(E. &Y ,A$('! "-%$"E"E
( here are =ots of reasons to =ove this > ovie but '== start off with two# ( wo Aen koan-=ike ta=es to
burnish an a=ready bri==iant =egacy of insanity5 ani>a= drive5 and high cu=ture craft#
%kay5 here goes one/ &ack in the 1IRTs .e !iro dated this wo> an who was friends with a friend of >
ine# (hey were a== =iving down in "o)o before
R of J
they were a== rich and before "o)o had beco> e the sto> <ing ground for the> and a== the res t of !ew
Yorks we==-hee=ed# Anyways5 this friend of >ine was outraged and wou=dnt be swayed by &ang the
.ru> "=ow=y5 ,ean "tr eets 5 or even the definitive !ew-York-that-no-=onger-eCists -1IRTs->ovie (aCi
.river# .e !iro was a <iece of s hit as far as she was concerned and it went on this way unti= fina==y '
asked5 9Why0 ' > ean it sounds <ersona= at this <oint0:
And she s ays 5 9We==5 he used to go out with this friend of > ine#: And ' say5 9"o s ince whens that a
cri> e0:
And she s ays 5 9We==5 when she was du> <ing hi>5 they were standing on the street c orner and he
s=a<<ed her on the ass#:
9( hat sounds benign enough to > e# ' > ean5 a =ight s =a< on the ass5 >aybe in not the best of taste5 but
7 :
9't knocked her down6:
' > ur>ured a<o=ogias for a >an ' didnt even know5 yet ' had to secret=y ad>it5 to >aybe no one but
>yse=f5 that that was a >oney > ove# Pure=y becaus e it de=ivered the uneC<e cted and the unti>e=y in a
fas hion that was decided=y unfashionab=e# 't was a trifecta and it was =ike &ukowski said when
defining s ty=e as 9doing a du== or dangerous thing we==#: And it was <o=itica==y incorrect during a ti> e
when <o=itica= incorrectness was >eas ured in gra> s#
And the second0 A friend of >y eC-agent and > y eC-agent were chatting in a bar with this new 9s
inger: who was being 9> anaged: by her 9> anager: into a <otentia==y5 <ossib=y 9significant5:
9singing: 9career: by none other than *a,otta# And whi=e > y eC-agents friend ta=ked to the
ingUnue5 *a,otta fu>ed# "aid nothing5 but fu>ed# And > y eC-agents friend had a karaoke > achine
to se== her and5 da>> it5 he wou=d not be sto<<ed# "o they eventua==y co>e to so> e s ort of acco>
>odation and 1ake fina==y <i<es u<5 9You can go through > e with that#: And the eC-agents friend
<i<es u<
J of J
ga> e=y5 9%h5 its okay# 'ts =ight# ' can Lust dro< it off and 7 : And 1ake freeAes hi> with a =ook and
says again5 9You can go through > e with that#: And the conversation co>es s=iding down =ike a wa==
of wet sand# And when ' ask the eC-agent if he got the sense that5 given the situation5 they > ight have s
tood a chance if it had co>e to b=ows5 his ans wer was Kuick and definitive/ 9Fuck no#: o=den
years0 Youre godda>ned right#
et it0 !o0
$ aging &u== is the greatest fight >ovie of a== ti> e5 arguab=y the best "corsese wou=d ever > ake
and .e !iro wou=d ever act in5 and it f=ies off the screen =ike you were =iving it ins tead of watching it#
And this shows/ fro> Pes cis rib rea==y getting broken in a s<arring s cene to .e !iro rea==y getting
good enough with his <re-fi=> <re< to <ur<orted=y fight three fights out in &rook=yn5 if youre a fan of
the fistic arts5 this is5 co==oKuia==y5 the ")'( # 'ts the truest to =ife in ter> s of how fighters fight in the
ring and how they think when they think about how they fight in the ring#
=orious and wrong a== at the sa> e ti>e# Yeah5 you s hou=d be so =ucky#
1R
(W E*2 E
"% Y%U$E
K!%-KE. %U(/
% P('% !" (% -% !"'.E$
() E ()$ '** % F U !. EFEA (5 %$ 5 %! E ,A !" PEEK '! (% () E YA W ! '! , AW % F
(%(A * PE$" %! A* F A' *U$ E A!. ' (" ($A!" - E!.E!-E
, EA" U $E. %U ( %! E F' ) ( A( A (', E# *A. ' E" A ! . E!(*E, E!/
'*&E$ ( ,E*E! . ES
'ts a rarefied c=ub# 'f youre a rea= fighter who fights rea= fights5 its a c=ub you== eventua==y <robab=y
be knocked the fuck out of# (hat being/ (he Undefeated# And s o it is that any fighter who is
undefeated after ten fights is either fighting worked > atches ?a#k#a# fiCed fights@ or is a true <heno>#
i=bert ,e=endeA is this <heno> # A > iCed > artia= arts <heno># A 1TVT <heno> 5 though5
given the freKuency with which he fights5 that cou=d radica==y have changed by the ti>e you read
this# &ut thats a=> os t i> > ateria= to everybody e=se5 or at =east the everybody e=s e who knows
that beating ten > en5 s hit5 forget about > en5 ten <rofessiona= fighters 5 in a row5 seven by K% or
(K%5 one by sub>iss ion5 and two by decisions5 is the kind of thing everybody e=se wou=d g=ad=y say
is good enough# Everybody5 that is 5 eCce<t hi>#
What >akes "a> >y run0 9' go out to ki==#:
And for this to have any weight at a== you have to hear hi> say it when you can s ee hi> say it# ( he
first ti>e ' saw ,e=endeA fight was on=y the second ti> e he had fought# 't was ,arch 8R5 8TTM5 and he
had Lust co>e back fro> s<ring break# )e was wearing surf La>s # And s> i=ing as he wa=ked into the
caged ring# )e was
HFIG and 1HH <ounds # )e re>inded >e of a > u<<et# ,y <re-fight <rediction was
that he was going to =os e# &ad=y#
ECce<t he did not#
)e won# &ad=y# )is o<<onent5 one ,r# 1e ff )oug=and5 virtua==y disa<<eared under a hai= of b=ows#
And after the ref stood hi> fro> where he ha d been de=ivering afore> entioned bo> bs to the
face of ,r# )oug=and5 he was s>i=ing again#
1R
"o the who=e 9ki==ing: thing see> s out of character# Unti= you start to track his who=e >arch u<hi==#
%ne win after the neCt# )ere in the "tates# 'n 1a<an# And with each ste< you can fee= s o> ething
working its way through#
9We==5 ' cant deny that ' think about it now# '> thinking Ono way can ' =ose now# ( hats what '>
thinking about when ' train# '> a=so thinking of how > uch ' ha te whoever it is '> fighting#:
And the s >i=e again#
At twenty-four5 ,e=endeA is tra ining in "an *uis %bis<o with one of the wor=ds <re> ier
fighters5 -huck *idde==5 a fe==ow trave=er# * idde==5 who had been =ooking at the sa> e sort of future
that *arry )o=> es s awD a=ways winning but never getting any res<ect for doing soDbefore he
drove ho>e in the >ost definitive way <ossib=e that he didnt care whose body he had to wa=k over
to get to where he is now5 is arguab=y one of the best two or three fighters in the wor=d at his weight
c=ass# And his Kuiet desire to crush5 ki==5 and destroy >atches ,e=endeAs Kuite we==#
9You want to know what ' do before the fights that ' win0 ' have 1ake "hie=ds Xa wor=d cha><ionY hit
> e in the face# ' stay in > y =itt=e roo> backstage# ' =ike to kee< it =ike a Lai= ce==# "hut u< or get the
fuck out# ' cage >y beast inside and try to turn > y nervousness into energy# ' =isten to so> e > us ic
7:
-=as sica=0
9)aha 7 no# "o> e ra<# %r so> e $age Against the ,achine#:
And gone is his s >i=e of o=d# 'n fact5 he no =onger s> i=es at a== when he enters the ring5 instead
<referring to run into the ring5 his eyes =ike the backs of >atch- books 5 a== gra y and s hark-=ike5 over a
>outh that si=ent=y > utters what ' i> agine are the kind of words you whis <er to od about so>
ething you rea==y5 rea==y want#
1R
9' want to ki== whoever it is '> fighting#: And in front of 8H5TTT <eo<=e at the ( okyo .o>e5 or in
front of 1;5TTT in "an 1ose5 this has been >ade aggressive=y a<<arent# (i>e after ti>e after ti>e after
ti>e after ti>e ?and now doub=e that@# With his father in his corner ?s o the who=e Freudian thing is
shot to he== right there@5 ,e=endeA does eCact=y that#
And =os ing is not rea==y an iss ue at the sa> e ti>e that it is rea ==y the on=y is sue5 but this kind of
hunger is a bitch5 and whatever it is about ,e=endeA that >akes winning s uch a tonic for whatever it is
that >ight ai= hi> 5 we can on=y i> agine that he hates =osing >uch > ore than he =oves winning#
Which5 as of this writing5 he was sti== doing#
We==5 that and riding =i> os to shows5 dating > ode=s5 and beating the cra< out of =arger > en on the
street Lust because they dont know any better#
We=co> e to the ha== of cha> <ions5 godda>nit#
,% .E$! -'!E,A" *% ! E"( -%!('!U%U" "'!*E-") %(
F ') ( "-E!E "(A$$'! A ,A! W ) % ,A.E ) '" *'2'! '! A K'*( A!. () E &*A-K
,'-)AE* -A'!E5 KE' () .A2'.
() EY *'2E ?1IJJ@ .'$E-(E. &Y 1%) ! -A$P E!(E$
"creen ti> e is a=ternate rea=ity ti>e# 'f the average conversation see> s inter> inab=e when
youre ta=king about so>eone e=ses drea>s 5 or "tar (rek or so> ething e=s e you give not the s=ightest
shit about5 %! screen it wou=d s ee> =ike a =ifeti>e# %r a *ars 2on (rier fi=> # &ut nowhere is this
*E"" true than in the <ara==e= universe of screen fight scenes#
F=ash to/ waiting at s o> e dusty -a=ifornia train yard# (wo rai=road workers are angri=y Lawing
in the front seat of a <icku< truck# ( hey eCit their res<ective doors =ike the truck was on fire and begin
throwing off various artic=es of c=othing in the wor=ds o=dest <re-fight ritua= of ra> <ing# A=so known
as getting u< the nerve# ( he words ru>b=e across the <arking =ot5 and when theyve both thrown off
the g=oves 5 the hard hats5 the vests5 and the s hirts they have abs o=ute=y no other o<tion but to s tart
swinging#
And they do#
"winging5 >iss ing5 s=owing5 and then the harsh rea=ity/ the average
1R
<erson cannot even s wing their ar>s vigorous =y for siCty s econds5 =et a=one hit another hu>an
being5 without doing what we in the biA =ike to ca== A""'!# Which they do# ( he fight having ended
inconc=usive=y5 the two begin redres sing with the shirt5 the ves ts 5 the hard hats 5 and the g=oves
before5 =ike so>e weird kines co<e thats been run in reverse5 theyre sitting in the front s eat of the
<icku< truck5 on=y this ti> e5 theyre co><=ete=y si=ent#
( ota= e=a<sed ti>e/ one > inute and s eventeen seconds#
Which is why this >ovie5 (hey *ive5 starring for>er 9<rofess iona=: 9wrest=er: $owdy $oddy
Pi<er5 is sooooo godda> ned unusua=# "ure there was the ro==ing and ro==icking fight scene between
1ohn Wayne and 2ictor ,c*ag=en in 1ohn Fords 1IH8 f=ick (he 3uiet ,an5 but this occurs over
changes in s cenario and therefore fa==s out of consideration in this here category#
%ver a great <otboi=ing the>e of a=iens disguised as hu> ans that are revea=ed through the us e of
s<ecia= g=asses in a s cene that features the non- ki=ted ,r# Pi<er trying to convince the hardest-working
b=ack >an in )o==ywood5 Keith .avid5 that the a=iens .% eCist5 they begin an a==ey fight that whi=e it
was on=y > eant to =a st twenty s econds in the origina= scri<t5 c=ocked in at an a>aAing five > inutes
and twenty seconds of s creen ti>e#
Add to that the fact that 9>ethod actors: Pi<er and .avid decided to fight for rea=5 on=y faking face
<unches5 and it e> erges as a stunning=y Proustian bit of fi=> >aking5 and for this 5 and his tota=
=ack of interest in the
governorshi< of ,innesota5 we give a ti< of the ha t to (he $owdy %ne#
E. .' E" . EA .# *% ! *'2 E E. .' E#
(his was a head shot# P=ain and si><=e# &ecause you cou=d ta=k to the neCt ten fight ga>ers you > eet
and not get the sa>e kind of una<o=ogetic de<th that you get when you get an Eddie o=d>an# And
every s<orts got an Eddie o=d>an/ bodybui=ding had $icky Wayne5 baseba== had &i==y ,artin5 tennis
had ,cEnroe# uys that areDif not honor-bound to do so are then cons titutiona==y inca<ab=e of !%(
doing s oD going to give you the straight s hot and fuck you if you dont =ike
1R
it#
$ight or wrong5 =ucid or snockered5 their unfettered o<inionating usua==y > arks
the> as guys that either have to >ake their > ark where they cant be touchedD on s o> e fie=d of
<=ayDor they get hust=ed off5 s tage right5 to > ake roo> for > ore acco> >odating ?read/ bought@
voices# %r they die in fiery car wrecks with a bott=e of ">irnoff c=utched to their chests#
'n any case5 with o=d> an5 thus far5 fee= free to check none of the above
?www#secondsout#co>BradioB@#
)e a=so5 thus far5 has >anaged to5 wait5 =ets <ut that between Kuotes 7 9has > anaged to: stay out of
any s ignificant a>ounts of =i> e=ight des<ite being knee dee< in a=> ost every fight ga>e there isD
a>ateur wrest=ing5 rea= <ro wrest=ing5 fake <ro wrest=ing5 rea= fake <ro wrest=ing5 u=ti> ate fighting5
kickboCing5 boCing5 rea=5 fake5 fiCed5 and otherwise# And his $o=odeC of <eo<=e hes touched Lust goes
on and on and on# .es<ite his dys<e<sia# .es<ite his continued =ack of interest in the vicis situdes of
the business wor=d that guides s <orts D in <articu=ar5 fight s <orts Dand fina==y5 des<ite every
sing=e <revai=ing trend there is thats connected to s<orts entertain>ent5 o=d>an <ers everes5 Lere>
iads and a==# When ' a sk hi> 5 after fina==y getting ho=d of hi>5 if there are any s <orts untainted by the
bony hand of avarice5 he says without > is sing a beat/
9!o#:
Which is why he had to be tracke d down# * ike that cerea= *ife that was fois ted on the ,adison Ave#-
>anufactured ,ikey back in the RTs on the grounds that because he hated everything5 if he *'KE .
the cerea= it had to have so>ething going for it5 o=d>an cou=d be counted on to de=iver nothing but/
head shots5 that is#
Youve got a history that goes back in the fight ga>e forever it s ee>s5 fading in and out according to
your whi>s5 focusing on this fight s <ort or that# .id you have a Pear= ) arbor >o>ent when you ca>e
out of the co=d this =as t ti>e0 For >e it was in the ear=y ITs when ' s aw the firs t UF-#
' > issed the first UF-# ' =ater s aw it but ' >iss ed the first one# &ut >y Pear= )arbor >o>ent was
when ' was reading about eCtre> e fighting5 whose <ress conference ' had been to ear=y on in the year5
at Kahnawake5 the ,ohawk !ation near ,ontrea=# And theres been a who=e history of <o=itica= s
trugg=es there and the govern> ent didnt want the> there and '> sitting around in >y a<art> ent
with the (2 on5 thinking 9What the he== a> ' doing s itting here0 ' got to get > yse=f u< there5: and
that rea==y sort of > arked a turnaround because ' had a=ready started covering this a bit# (hat5 of
course5 was the event where eight <artici<ants D$a=<h racie5 Sinoviev5 and s o onD were arrested5
which =ed to this who=e huge strugg=e5 and it ended u< getting an artic=e in P enthous e because of that
7 but what was i> <ortant5 what was gotten across 5 was the <=eas by the > e>bers of the ,oha wk
!a tion for their <eo<=e to fight against genocide and for s e=f-deter> ination# For their rights as a
<eo<=e#
And that to > e was the center<iec e of the who=e is sue and thats why that who=e thing was so i>
<ortant beyond Lus t the batt=e to =ega=iAe > iCed > artia= arts 5 because it wasnt even known as that
then5 and the who=e <ro> oting of co> bat s <orts 7
"o was the u<shot5 then5 that fight s<orts and socia= activis> =ived ha<<i=y ever after0
(he u<shot was that > os t of the charges were thrown out5 and a =ot of the <eo<=e s aw that it was a
bs urd that these <eo<=e were arrested# 7 ' think one fighter had to <ay a fine or so>ething =ike that#
(he <rison that they were thrown in was s hort=y thereafter c=osed down because it was found to be
inhu>a ne# 7 ' > ean5 =ook5 -anadians5 who dont have as > uch of a cowboy attitude about these
things as A> ericans do5 were asking 9What0 Were arres ting <eo<=e because theyre going to a =ive
s <orting event0 (hat was o<en to the <ub=ic and was shown on te=evision0 Whats going on here0 You
dont =ike it0 You dont have to watch it# You didnt have to fight in it# You didnt have to go there#
Whats the big dea=0:
"o in IE there was a who=e batt=e and eventua==y it got =ega=iAed but this was <art of a who=e broader
strugg=e that was going on between the -anadian and 3uebec govern> ents against the native <eo<=e
in -anada# &ut this turned around and ru=es were ado<ted for no-ho=ds-barred fighting5 which were
then ado<ted5 in > ost cases5 in -a=ifornia in 8TTT5 whic h =ead to !ew 1ers ey ado<ting the>5 then
!evada unified the ru=es5 which o<ened the who=e door u<#
&ut this door-o<ening thing is not to your =iking5 it s ee>s# Youve to=d >e you wont even watch the
UF - any>ore# 's it because it fai=ed on so>e sort of socia=-re=evance sca=e0
A== you have to do is go back to the 1I1I &=ack "oC scanda=# &ack then there were three > aLor s<orts
in A> erica/ baseba==5 boCing5 and wres t=ing# !ow5 a== of these s<orts faced crises of their own and
a== went in different directions as a resu=t of it# &aseba== had the fiCing of the 1I1I Wor=d "eries # 'n
res<onse they
brought in a co>> issioner and out=awed ga> b=ing5 and they =aid down the =aw#
&oCing had been i==ega= in >any <=aces s o what they did then was =ega=iAe it# &ut instead of creating a
=eague or a co>> issioner or so>ething =ike that5 it was regu=ated by the state co>> issions#
Profess iona= wrest=ing had this <rob=e> of rea= and fake >atches5 and =ook5 the <rob=e> with a =ot of
these > atches bac k then was that the fans found the> dissatisfying because they were rea=N they
usua==y =asted a rea==y =ong ti>e5 and were s =ow on the action# Pro> oters said5 OWe== >ake it >ore
entertaining by > aking it fake# And they did this > ore and >ore u< unti= the =ate 1IJTs5 when they
dro<<ed any <retense that it was rea=#
"o these were three different routes taken for co>bat s<orts5 actua==y a== s<orts in genera=# &ut boCing5
under the state co>> issions 5 was ab=e to =ega=iAe itse=f without having a centra= body5 but this
eventua==y has =ed to its downfa==/ now you have >u=ti<=e cha> <ions# 'ts the on=y s<ort where
you dont have a sing=e cha> <ion# !ot having a centra= body has rea==y hurt boCing# You dont have
the best guys fighting the best guys5 you have these sanctioning bodies <ushing > andatory
fights5 > u=ti<=e tit=es5 and utter confus ion# You know what Kuestion ' get a =ot0 OWhos the
heavyweight cha><ion today0 And when you try to eC<=ain
7 the W&A5 the '&F5 and W&- and W&% and guys fro> the Ukraine5 and guys
fro> &e=oruss ia5 and KaAakhstan5 and "t# PetersburgD $ussia5 not F=oridaD it Lust gets very5 very
confusing# !o unified tit=es# !o centra= governing body#
And heres so>ething/ the networks in <articu=ar dont want it# &ecause itd be very hard for the> to
contro= one guy# ,ost of the <ro>oters dont want it either5 eCce<t for5 ironica==y5 .on King# !ow5 he
has contracts with a =ot of these guys either <ro>oting or co-<ro> oting a nu> ber of thes e different
guys #
"o .on Kings interested in a centra= body0
!o# !%!E of these guys are interes ted in a centra= body# Kings interes ted in unifying the tit=es# (
here was a <ro<osa= a few years ago <ut forth by boCing <ro> oter *ou .i&e==a to ho=d a > eeting
a>ong different boCing <ro> oters and none of the other >aLor <ro> oters even wanted to )%*. A
,EE( '! together# 'ts very se=f-destructive# &ut theres ho<e for boCing bec aus e its s ti== the >ost
<o=is hed and <rofes siona= of the co> bat s <orts on the to< =eve=# ( he s ki== you see a> ong the to<
fighters when you have to< <eo<=e >atched u< against each other5 in ter>s of <unching5 is un>atched#
And >any <eo<=e in >iCed >artia= arts recogniAe this# X,,A cha> <Y Frank "ha>rock said the sa> e
thing# (he s triking5 very often5 in >iCed > artia= arts s uc ks# (he striking sucks and thes e guys have
no chins#
' s that why X)& % and !&- s<orts co>> entatorY 1i> *a><=ey hates it0
We==5 ' dont want to <ut words in his > outh5 but he does nt a<<rove of it and he doesnt =ike it# '
dont think he understands gra<<=ing and ' think as a boCing guy hes a<<a==ed at the us e of strikes that
are not =ega= in boCing# !ot on=y dirty boCing5 =ike ho=ding and hitting5 but knees and e=bows 5 and he
doesnt understand gra<<=ing5 and so when it goes to the ground and takedowns a nd sub> is sion
> oves 7 =ook5 its5 for hi> 5 <robab=y =ike when an ug=y A> erican starts >aking fun of s o> eone
-hinese by ta=king fauC - hinese or so> ething# 't Lus t see> s kind of insu=ting# 've tried to goad hi>
on when ' ta=k with hi> about it5 becaus e he '" a big s u<<orter of wrest=ing at the %=y><ics5 but he
Lust didnt get it#
We== the ear=y-stage knock against it had very >uch to do with this idea that fighting for the sake of
fighting was so>ehow irredee> ab=e# ( hat if you re> oved the >ask thats <rovided when you add a
ba== or a stick or s o> ething and Lust had two > en going at it5 we== it was5 to Kuote 1ohn ,c-ain5
9)u> an cockfighting#:
*et >e Lust >ake c=ea r that though ' fo==ow the business as<ects because its i> <ortant5 and the >
edia a s<ects 5 ' take a broader view# (o >e whether s o> ething is socia==y <ositive and us efu=
and desirab=e is not based on the ratings that it gets # 't cou=d be tota==y the o<<osite# %r it cou=d be
tota==y the s a>e# 't cou=d be i> <ortant fro> a bus iness <ers <ective for the >edia to fo==ow the
ratings and s o on5 and so ' re<ort on these things5 but when ' see what a grou< =ike 'F* X'nternationa=
Fight *eagueY is doing by e><hasiAing "P%$(",A!")'P in ,,A vers us what the UF- XU=ti>
ate Fighting -ha> <ionshi<Y is doing5 which is e> <has iAing s tu<idity and trash ta=king and a== kinds
of negative va=ues5 we== ' 7 * ook5 ' dont care that a== of the > usic today e> <has iAes negative
va=ues # ' =ook at things broader his torica==y5 and not according to so> e ,(2 short-attention- s <an
c=ock# (heres a rea= softness5 a rea= <arasitic attitude of enLoying having <eo<=e doing everything e=s e
for you5 and yeah5 a fiCation on negative va=ues# (he U" govern>ent is afraid of having a draft for
their fai=ed war in 'raK thats even > ore un<o<u=ar5 ' guess5 than 2ietna> was 5 but nobodys
saying anything because theres no draft# "o we re=y on air <ower5 which never works5 and this was the
$u>sfe=d s trategy and he s hou=d have known better# ' > ean this is a guy who was a wrest=er#
1R
"o was 1ess e 9(he &ody: 2entura#
We==5 $u>s fe=d was a wrest=er at Princeton5 ' think he was ca<tain of his tea> and then =ater he won
so>e kind of !avy cha> <ionshi<5 but he beca>e this cor<orate guy who was s erving thes e
cor<orate interests and his inte==igence got tru> <ed by a== of this stuff# And he was5 to his credit5
though 'd never vote for hi> or his <eo<=e5 ins tru>enta= when the =ibera= ty<es were trying to get rid
of wrest=ing at Princeton# )e and the a=u>ni got together to get wres t=ing back# &ut > y <oint is that
even outside of the business5 fighting or s<orts can have a tre>endous =y <ositive effect u<on you#
)ow0
9't bui=ds s e=f-confidence5 it shows you the connection between >enta= and <hysica= fitness5 it==
give you an attitude of strugg=ing for your rights5 it== show that youre not so> eone whos going to be
<ushed around5 it== teach you when to fight5 how to fight# ( hat was X!e=s onY ,ande=as <oint
about it# )e was an a> ateur boCer a nd he credited that for teaching hi> strategy and tactics # )e
wasnt a fan of the vio=ence5 but that was <art of it5 and when youre invo=ved in <o=itica= strugg=es and
revo=utionary wars5 youre not a fan of vio=ence but you rea=iAe its neces sary#
&y any >eans necessary and !o ho=ds barr ed are very si>i=ar s=ogans 5 and thats not a coincidence#
A =ot of this is not new5 but <a rtic u=ar=y in our <arasitic age 7 we have a so-ca==ed financia=-services
industry thats huge and that creates nothing of va=ue# 7 You have a =ot of <eo<=e who are <arasites #
Particu=ar=y in one of the richest countries in the wor=d5 but not on=y# &ut this is so> ething that
1R
goes against that and re=ates > ore to the cu=ture of the working-c=as s <eo<=e# Peo<=e who sti== have to
work for a =iving5 whether its a <hysica= Lob or s ervice5 or retai=5 or whatever#
&ut traditiona==y co> bat 9s<orts: have a=ways been the <urview of the u<<er c=asses / think due=ing
and fencing and so on#
We== 7 yeah5 you had Aaron &urr and A=eCander )a>i=ton5 but it eCis ted on different =eve=s# 'f
youve ever read any of Frederick .oug=asss writings he ta=ks about how boCing and wrest=ing were
rea==y <o<u=ar a>ong the s=aves# &etween -hris t> as and !e w Years and so on when the s=a ve
owners were drunk and so on5 the s=aves wou=d have co> <etitions in their ti> e off# "o it was <o<u=ar
on a== =eve=s# &ut ' dont > ake fighting an abstract idea=# You do it because you )A2E to# 't is a
<ractica= necessity# Fighting to =ive5 for > ost <eo<=e5 is a <ractica= necess ity# And s <orts co> bat is
Lus t the way to teach you how to do that for whatever kind of batt=e youre in#
1R
&ut to <=ay devi=s advocate here a >inute5 is nt that su<<os ed to be one of the va=ues of civi=iAation0
(hat we create s ocia= structures so that we .% !( have to fight to =ive0
We create socia= structures today5 and the ones that do> inate are a== designed to confuse the >aLority
of <eo<=e into >a king a > inority of the <eo<=e rich and <owerfu=# And dividing the> u< to get
the> to ki== each other on the beha=f of various ru=ing grou<s# ( his Xfight trainingY he=<s bui=d an
attitude of defiance as we== to conventiona= thinking# %r it can#
&ut ' > an e=itist at bas e =eve= and start to think that when you ta=k about wanting to free the c o>
>on > an5 its an inco><=ete discus sion if youre not a=so ta=king about advancingthe co>>on
>an# Which nobody is# And so whos e fau=t is it if were stu<id0
9'ts a== su<<osed to be du> bed down5 though# (hats the who=e <oint# 'n the
1R
ear=y days of the UF-5 for eCa> <=e5 it was an incredib=e at>os<here# 't was =ike the United !ations at
thes e events# Fighters and fight fans fro> &raAi= and 1 a<an and fro> E uro<e sharing techniKues and
this and that# 't was an incredib=e thing# And it was the s a>e thing when ' went to &raAi= or 1 a<an#
!ow they <ut a few <eo<=e on a rea=ity ( 2 s how and they s ay5 9Uhhh 7 ' wanna > ess hi> u<5 >an
7 uhhhh 7 : And s o> e <eo<=e > ight say this >akes it s ucces sfu=5 but ' dont# ' dont think its
high=y s ucc essfu=# ' know it has good ratings and good buy rates# ( o >e its s ocia==y not successfu=#
*ook5 is the WWE XWor=d Wrest=ing Entertain>entY s ucces sfu= for co> bat s <orts 0
(hey draw >ore <eo<=e than the UF- does# (hey did better than that# (heyre a <ub=ic=y traded
co><any# ( hey > ake a ton of > oney# 's that > ore successfu=0 ( hats not the issue# What are they
<ro> oting0 (heyre not <ro> oting honor# ( heyre not <ro>oting so>ething that you cou=d <oint out
to <eo<=e as so>ething that wi== i><rove you as <eo<=e# And <articu=ar=y a <eo<=e that are
disenfranchis ed5 that are out of contro= and that need a warrior cu=ture to he=< the> batt=e for their
rights and =ive=ihood# !ot this# (his has been re>ade in the i> age of theirDthe ga> b=ing
casino owners and their eC-boCercise instructorsD gods#
Yes5 s<orts '" entertain> ent and it has to have entertain> ent va=ue# 'f it doesnt have entertain>ent
va=ue5 <eo<=e wont <ay >oney to go watch it# &ut theres a s ocia= va=ue to it as we== that '> >ore
concerned withN that for > e tru><s everything# 'n other words5 '> not a ca<ita=ist# '> not
interested in > aCi>iAing <rofits and the accu>u=ation of ca<ita =# (hats what theyre interested in and
that tru> <s everything e=s e for the> and thats the direction thats =ed it5 es<ecia==y in the cu=ture we
have today5 to the =owest co> >on deno> inator# Es<ecia==y with a network =ike "<ike(2#
1R
1R
' dont know that what youre even as king for is <os sib=e# "o>ething with a high s ocia= va=ue5 high
financia= va=ue0 And is entertaining0 What does that even =ook =ike0
* ook at ,uha>> ad A=is career# ( hat was key to hi> being viewed as the >ost <o<u=ar and > ost
i><ortant <rofessiona= ath=ete in the twentieth century# ,aybe the best-known <e rson in the who=e
wor=d# For his strugg=eD even though he was > isguided into the !ation of 's=a> Dagains t racis>
5 white s u<re>acy5 the 2ietna> War# A== of thes e things added in to the who=e a==ure of ,uha>> ad
A=i#
&ut intra-s<ort controversy concerning his =egiti>acy s urrounded even hi> fro> the beginning# .id
you read !ick (oschess book on "onny *iston and the bit on the so-ca==ed <hanto> <unch that =ed to
the defeat that >ade A=is bones0
1R
' didnt read it# And ' dont know how > uch that was bas ed on fact 7 becaus e ' re>e> ber trying to
interview hi> X(oschesY on it and he wasnt interested in ta=king about it and so 've s<oken to
<eo<=e who knew what he wrote and were invo=ved at the ti> e and they s aid that he rea==y didnt
know a =ot about what he was ta=king about# !ow <eo<=e have different o<inions about whe ther or not
those first fights with A=i and *iston were fiCed or not# &ut that to > e5 even if they were true5 doesnt s
tain his =egacy at a==5 because what did he do after that0
W e==5 've chatted with )owar d &ingha> Xnoted A=i <hotogra<herY5 as we== as a for>er s<arring
<artner of *istons and gotten two high=y entrenched5 but <ersuas ive <ositions on either side#
've heard both s ides of the argu> ent too# 'n a fiCed fight it doesnt > ean you arent going to get
<unched# You know the other guys going to be throwing <unches 5 so if you want to fiC the fight you
get hit and you go down and you s tay down# &ut 7 ' dont know enough# ' do know that even if it was
fiCed it doesnt change his =egacy beca us e not a== the fights were fiCed# &ut 7 you know5 were in a
<eriod of cynicis> # * ook what <eo<=e have done with freedo>0 )i<ho< > usic that ca==s each other
the na>e s that are used now#
' s there any s<ort thats a s tandard bearer for our higher yearnings5 then0
!o#
And thats not cynica=0 W hat about bas eba==060
1R
' cant watch bas eba== any> ore# !ot because its s =ow but because its corru<t# '> not going to <ay a
bunch of >oney to watch a bunch of steroid guys <=ay# Fro> 1IHR to =ike 1IIM ' used to go to baseba==
ga>es a== the ti> e5 every year# And then one ga> e ' noticed that they had "teve )owe <itching and '
knew he a=ready had been busted siC or seven ti>es for drugs and '> asking5 9Why a> ' watching
this0: ' didnt go back#
&ut for co>bat s<orts5 for a== thes e s<orts '> not saying theres no ho<e# '> Lust s aying its an u<hi==
batt=e5 but anything decent in society usua==y is # ( hat doesnt >ean you sto< strugg=ing5 or fighting# 't
Lust >eans you want to start to =ay out =ess ons fro> this retrograde5 regressive <eriod were in# ' >
ean5 who knows when things wi== start to turn around0 '> never without ho<e# ' think we s hou=d Lus t
be >ore focused on >aking a contribution thats =asting5 thats a==#
1T
() '$ (EE!
9' K'**E. A ,A!:
"o>e of the fo==owing na>es and <=aces have been changed to <rotect the innocent andBor
those =ike=y to be <r os ecuted#
You =earn at a certain <oint to <ay attention to nuance5 =ike when you hear a voice on the <hone that
sounds a =itt=e too eager5 or in this case >oros e# 't was a guy who> ' trained/ a thirty-so> ething-
hi<ster who dug the fight ga> e first as a s <ectator and then5 drawn a=ong by te> <era> ent5 as a
<ractitioner# )e had bought a cou<=e of > ats and s <read the> a== across his ten-by-ten-foot
second-f=oor a<art> ent and a cou<=e of ti>es a week wed ro== 7 through the basics5 so>e catch
wrest=ing arcana5 so> e refine> ents of the &raAi=ian Liu-Litsu he had started to study 7 before wed
Lust go at it/ s> ashing into the wa==s5 La> >ed u< against the couch5 or off >at onto his uncar<eted
f=oor# )is uns<oken goa=5 =ike any good s tudent5 was to u=ti>ate=y kick > y assD an atte> <t '
who=ehearted=y su<<orted hi> trying since his rabid desire for co>eu<<ance fue=ed > y eKua==y rabid
desire to never be bested by s o> eone who knew what the he== ' knew we== after ' knew
it#
&ut there was this ca==# )is gir=friend had trained too5 wise=y not with > e5 though5 and had even
scored a W by choke at a co> <any -hrist>as <arty over an over-=ubed bos s who after he had found
out that she s tudied begged her to 9co>e
on 7 show > e what you got#: At HFHG s he > ost certain=y did and he found
hi>s e=f waking u< >ore than once that dayN this ti> e off of so>eones f=oor#
"o ' figured the ca== had everything to do with5 you know5 the <eri=s of Pau=ine and the rocky <ath of
young =ove and what not# And ' chuck=ed at5 inadvisab=y5 anyone asking >e for re=ationshi< advice# '
chuck=ed5 si<<ed so> e tea5 and read with great interes t an ite> in the =oca = <a<er that detai=ed a s
treet scuff=e that had turned vio=ent#
(he s tory was <itched as a s ide=ine to the continuing dru> beat of a s tory that you s ee> to read in
week=ies a== over A> erica about gentrification5 a=so known as / wha t ha<<ens when <oor fo=ks =ive
a=ongs ide not-so-<oor fo=ks who5 drawn by the neighborhoods 9co=or5: >ove in and s tart driving
rents u<# (hats the <ub=ic s tory#
(he rea= story is that there are enough <oor fo=k around5 of very > any co=ors5 to <o<u=ate a =ot of these
neighborhoods a few ti>es over5 and so it goes5 the =ost
1T
tribes of near-broke <ost-co==ege ty<es back to back with resentfu= =oca=s# An uneasy <eace s ee>s to
eCist5 eCce<t5 as the <a<er te==s it5 this one night it didnt5 and a =oca= who ha d5 on the occasion of his
fortieth birthday5 <u==ed his car u< to the curb a few b=ocks fro> his ho>e in a genera= >ood to <arty5
sat car-side and <=ayed his car radio as =oud as it see> ed =ike his car radio cou=d be <=ayed# At
1/MT in the >orning#
And at this <oint in the story ' started to curs e the dec=ine in A> erican > ores and >anners # ' decried
the > is erab=e > e-firstist get-over-itis that infects even our > ost >undane interactions # As ' read on5
' found >ys e=f desiring so>e s ort of Lust res o=ution to what a<<eared to be unchec ked ass ho=is>#
And it arrived in the for> of a nearby a<art> ent res ident who a<<eared on the scene and in the
ensuing reKues t to turn down said >us ic got into a fight that ended u< =eaving the offender dead# '
turned the <age5 finished breakfas t5 and > oved on#
!eCt week or so ' go to >y young charges house for so>e training and hes not > uch in the >ood5
and he and his gir= are eCchanging Kuick =ooks and in a b=urt he te==s > e what youve a=ready guessed
at this <oint/ it was hi> #
F i== in the detai=s for >e# ' >ean5 did the <a<ers get it right0
Yeah5 basica==y# ' was s =ee<ing at the ti> eD1/MT in the > orning# ' s=ee< in a =oft and so ' had to ge t
out of the =oft5 <ut > y c=othes on5 go downs tairs5 <ro< the outside door o<en5 and go outs ide# '>
<retty eas ygoing# You know5 '> not a hard-on or nothing =ike that# ' dont get into fights usua==y# &ut
he had <=ayed about three fu== songs on the radio# You know how when youre s itting in your car and
you can fee= the guys >usic in another ca r0 &oo> boo> boo> boo>0 't was =ike that# %n=y c=oser# 't
was right under >y window# ' =ater found out it was his fortieth birthday and he had gone out and
whoo<ed it u<# )e had cocaine on hi>5 was having a good ti> e5 and ' got nothing against s o> eone
having a good ti>e# )e was Lust co>ing ho> e# ' think he was sobering u< or s o> ething# (he
windows were a== down s o he <robab=y drove there trying to s ober u<# 't was a co=d night# 't was
February H5 8TTM#
"houting 9s hut the fuck u<: out of your window0 !ot an o<tion0
You know what0 (he firs t thing ' did was go to > y refrigerator and <u==ed out s o> e eggs# ' went
back to the window5 =ooked out at his car and ' was going to throw the fucking egg but ' said to >yse=f5
You know what0 (hats on=y going to es ca=ate the situation# )es drunk or whateve r# )es in his car#
"o>e beater# And then ' fina==y figured/ he knows where ' =ive5 this is ridicu=ous5 right out of your own
window# "o ' <ut the eggs down and ' go downs tairs# ,y gir=friends awake now and shes giving >e
a hard ti>e about how =oud the guy is# You know5 there had been ti> es before when this ha<<ened and
she went down and ' had to fo==ow to kee< her fro> kicking so>ebodys ass# "hes this tiny thing but
shes tough# "o
1T
' figure this ti> e '> going to go out because its better because '> the coo=er head# '> ,r# !ic e
uy# ' >ean5 ' never get into fights#
ECce<t for that <icture 've seen of you fighting those guys at the .irty (hree s how#
)ey5 > an5 that wasnt >y fau=t# (hes e as sho=es were getting kind of sur=y with the wo> an ' was
there with when they asked everybody to s it and they refused to and she cou=dnt see fro> where s he
was sitting behind the># "o ' got into a fight with these two guys# ' > ean5 what is it0 '> =ike a
>agnet for assho=es # Anyways5 ' go down5 ' got s=i<<ers on5 for chriss akes # 1ust <ants5 no underwear#
!o shirt5 even# !ow ' can see hi> # )es =ooking kind of doAy# (his >akes >e not nervous # '>
thinking to >yse=f5 A== right# 've dea=t with a=coho=ics before# And they can act vio=ent but usua==y
theyre <retty do<ey# (hey dont us ua==y s tart throwing <unches 5 and if they do theyre rea==y wobb=y
and its not hard to contain the> # "o ' ask hi> to turn his radio down but '> having to <anto>i> e
and screa> because he cant hear anything5 but '> >aking the >otion =ike5 )ey6 ->on# i>> e a
break# (urn it down# !ow ins tead of Lust turning it down he o<ens u< his door and s tarts > oving
around the back of the car# ' wa=k5 si>u=taneous=y <ast hi> toward his now-o<en car door# '> in the
street and his car was <arked# )e fo==ows > e back to where '> standing by his car door#
.id you =ook at hi> as you <ass ed each other0
' dont re>e> ber# ' Lust thought he was a drunk so ' was nt rea==y <aying attention# &ut hes
now s crea> ing at > e to not touch his radio and now '> not coo= any> ore5 rea==y# 've =ost >y coo=#
'> screa>ing at hi> now because he didnt Lus t turn the fucking radio down# &ut '> nervous about
getting into his car# ' fee= =ike ' want to Lust reach over and turn the da> n thing off# rab his keys5
so>ething# (he guy shou=dnt be driving anyway# &ut ' dont want to turn > y back to hi># "o '>
ye==ing at hi>5 he kee<s co>ing c=os er5 we kee< ye==ing at each other5 and out of nowhereD and '
rea==y didnt see it and ' think '> <retty s avvy about things but he was <retty fastDhe co> es u< with
a =eft hook and hit > e in the te> <=e with his keys in his fist# !ow5 ' didnt see his fist so ' didnt know
what he had in his fist5 a== ' know now is that >y heads b=eeding and ' didnt know this but head
wounds b=eed <r ofuse=y# "o it was f=ooding# F=ooding over > y eyes# 't freaked the shit out of > e
because ' thought ' was being s tabbed# And he hit >e > u=ti<=e ti> es# ,aybe a ha=f a doAen ti> es#
"o ' c=ose the ga<5 get a bear hug and tack=e hi> by hooking > y foot behind his =eg# )e was a =ot s
tronger than ' thought he was going to be5 for one thing5 but ' thought he was Lust going to be a drunk
but > aybe he was a =itt=e a> <ed u< on the coke# We were about the sa> e weight and height but ' get
hi> to the ground5 ' <a ss his guard Xa &raAi=ian Liu-Litsu > aneuver whereby you es ca<e fro> the
encirc=ing =egs of a
1T
downed o<<onentY5 sit on his sto>ach5 and Lus t start teeing off on hi> # Probab=y about the s a> e
a>ount of ti> es as he hit >e# ( hen he ro==ed over on his sto> ach5 giving > e his back5 and ' he=d
hi> unti= the <o=ice got the re#
"o you <ut in the choke#
X"i=enceY
% kay# "o what ha<<ens when the <o=ice get there0
We==5 the who=e thing took about three > inutes# 't see> ed =ike an eternity but '> <retty sure that if
we had wanted to5 we cou=d have <roba b=y he=d our breath through the who=e thing# &ut ' he=d hi>
down and another guy fro> a car that had <u==ed u< is he=<ing >e ho=d hi> down and the co<s s how
u< not thirty s econds after that# Peo<=e had ca==ed the <o=ice# ' was ye==ing for <eo<=e to ca== the <o=ice#
And there were tons of witness es at this <oint# A== the neighbors and s o on# (he <o=ice co>e5 ' s te<
u< off the guy and '> thinking5 Arres t that >an5 you know what ' > ean0 )e Lus t fucking assau=ted
>e# (here was no eCcuse# When ' ca>e out ' didnt even co> e out ye==ing at hi> # &ut then ' see the
<o=ice <u== a ye==ow s heet over hi> and '> thinking this does nt =ook good#
W hat did you see when you ste<<ed off of hi>0
)e started s haking and he s<its u< b=ood# &=ood ca>e out of his >outh5 =ike about eight inches# A s
trea> of it# A s<urt# ' cou=d see it fro> twenty feet away5 which is where they had hus t=ed > e to after
they ca>e# And ' thought5 ood# !ow that foo= can go to Lai=# (hen5 ' s to<<ed <aying attention to hi>
but neCt thing ' know they were <utting a ye==ow <=as tic sheet over hi> # ( hat doesnt see> =ike what
you take a <erson to the hos<ita= in5 is what ' thought to > yse=f# ' was <retty fucking freaked out at
this <oint# (he <o=ice were re=ative=y coo=# ' >ean they got kind of a ga==ows hu> or5 and a== the way to
the station ' got ca==ed 9tough guy: and 9bruiser: and s tuff =ike that# '> =ike5 9.ude5 the
>otherfuckers dead 7 c>on# You gotta have so>e res <ect for so> ething#: %n the other hand they
were <retty s y> <athetic and they said5 9You got it bad5 >an5 becaus e anybody wou=d have done what
you did# You Lust defended yourse=f#:
&ut they took >e downtown# 't was so ear=y that the detectives were sti== as =ee<# ' had to wait in
a ho=ding ce== there and ' was =ike show-and-te== for the co<s# ' got a bandage on >y head5 b=ood a==
over# And the co<s wou=d bring guys through and itd be =ike5 9You see what ha<<ens0 (his guy was
now Lus t > inding his own business and now so>e foo= is dead6: And guys in there are =ooking and >
e and as king5 9)ey5 >an0 You know so>e kung fu shit0: '> getting big res<ect in this =itt=e
ho=ding ce== with these <enny-ante cri> ina=sD guys who s tea= bikes and shit =ike that for their crack
habit# And the co<s are trying to turn it into
1T
so>e kind of cautionary ta=e# Which5 of cours e it shou=d be5 but nobody in there was about to s tart
<aying attention to any co<s# ,os t of the> were in there for stu<id shit5 but s o> e of the > had been
in there becaus e they had gotten into fights# And s o the co<s were =ike5 9*ook# (his is what can
ha<<en#: ' > ean5 >ost <eo<=e5 who get into fights5 the first thing they think is 9Whats the worst that
can ha<<en to >e0: We==5 what if the o<<osite ha<<ens 0 What5 if you <unch this foo=
7
*ook5 ' read about a guy who that ha<<ened to because the sa>e ti>e that this ha<<ened to >e ' was
hy<eraware of thes e stories in the <a<er# &ut this kid in high schoo= gets into this fight in the <arking
=ot# 1ust kids getting into a fight# )e hit the guy %!E ( ',E # (he other guy fa==s back and hits his
head on the bu> <er thing that the car <arks against0 .ead# %ne <unch# And <eo<=e want to fi=e
> urder charges against this guy# '> thinking5 ,urder0 Who is thinking these kinds of things0 At best
he was thinking he wanted to <ush the guys nos e in or s o> ething#
"o was it =ike a co< s how after that0 A s ing=e bu=b in a roo> with an eCtre>e=y shaky
ca>era or s o>ething0
't was kind of =ike a co< show# ( wo detectives# &ut the <hotogra<her ca> e in first and started
sna<<ing <ictures # (wo or three ro==s of footage# A== sides 5 bruis es and cuts# ' sti== have a scar across
>y back fro> the keys# (hey went <retty dee<# )e wasnt ho=ding back# !either one of us were
ho=ding bac k# &ut the detectives as ked >e5 9)ow hard did you hit hi> 0: As hard as ' cou=d# (urns
out that was the right answer# ( he honest answer was the right answer# (he fact that ' had been
training turned out to > y advantage a=so# ' had no <o=ice record and ' had been training and so the
detective was s aying that if an ordinary <erson 7 ' >ean5 the a> ount of da>age that ha<<ened to
this guy was not consistent with how itd <=ay out with a nor> a= <erson# ' trained5 so of cours e he
was going to get hurt wors e than he wou=d with so>e guy who does nothing#
"o they take the <ictures# (hen what ha<<ens0
A =ot of nerves for =ike two years # ' have to give b=ood5 they swab your > outh5 test under your
fingernai=s 5 your > ucus > e>branes# & ut ' ta=k to the> unti= about eight in the >orning and ' got to
> ake a <hone ca== and ' found out =ater that the <hone ' was ta=king on was not ta<<ed but ' was being
videota<ed as ' ta=ked# And the roo> was being ta<<ed and ' was being > onitored# &ut you know >y
fee=ing on a== of this is that it is a cautionary ta=e# 've read your writing be fore5 ' know your who=e bit
about how its better to take your =u> <s and get your ass kicked standing u< for yours e=f than to have
to wa=k away and fee= the sha> e of that for the res t of your =ife# And ' had a=ways agreed with that#
!ow0 ' have a different take# !ow ' fee= that5 and ' dont want to >ake >yse=f too heroic in this
1T
who=e thing5 but ' fee = =ike the .uke in (he 3uiet ,an# (hats how ' fee=#
' dont want to fight# !ow 'd =ike to start training a =itt=e bit again5 but for a =ong ti>e ' saw vio=ence
everywhere# ' cou=dnt watch (he "i><sons without cringing at )o>er thrott=ing &art# E ven <eo<=e
ye==ing at each other on the street about > inor <arking things 7 ' think eve rybodys too sens
itive about stuff# "o>ebody cuts you off in traffic5 or cuts in front of you in =ine0 "hit5 >an5 these are
<erceived s=ights# )ave a =itt=e =argess e and sto< being <etty >otherfuckers who =ook for this shit#
&ecause what if you do so>e shit and the guy dies0 And then what0
(hen you have to go to court and see the guys daughter in a <udd=e of te ars# ' had to sit acros s fro>
her5 and shes baw=ing5 you know0 "he was about eighteen# And his son was about siCteen# (hey
were estranged and he had kind of abandoned the> 5 but he was trying to reconci=e# )e was a chef5
too# ' =earned that his fa> i=y were good <eo<=e# )e had had <rob=e> s# A=coho= and drug <rob=e> s but
he was trying to work the> out# )e had vio=ence <rob=e> s5 iss ues in the <ast5 s tarting fights in bars
and so on# )e was working on hi>se=f and went out and whoo<ed it u< and he got into a fight that
he shou=dnt have# )ed <robab=y gotten into <=enty of fights before but never ca> e out of any of
the> dead# You on=y do that once#
W hat ha<<ened with the court cas e0
( his was civi= court# -ri> ina= charges were never fi=ed because the .As office found that were no
grounds to do so# 't was >utua= co>bat5 or >utua= co> batants5 or s o> ething =ike that5 but that
didnt go anywhere# &ut he died of > u=ti<=e trau>atic inLuries 5 the coroner decided5 and s o the fa>i=y
went after >e for wrongfu= death5 but it was a=so dis> issed# (he cri> ina= case is a=ways o<en5 '
guess5 unti= they bring charges5 but as far as ' know were done#
"o now that you have this who=e K wai -hang -aine thing going on5 hows it been going being this >
inister of <eace0
We==5 've had four incidents s ince then# %ne ha<<ened a =itt=e bit after this who=e thing was over# , y
gir=friend and ' were riding our bikes u< the s treet# Were going to see a > ovie and it was a sketchy
neighborhood so ' s hou=d have known or s us<ected# &ut down in the distance we see this cou<=e at a
cab and its =ike s hes going to Lu> < in the car and hes goofing with her# 'ts =ike theyre teasing each
other# &ut as we get c=os er we can s ee that shes trying to get away fro> this guy# "hes kicking at hi>
and hes going into the back of the cab and hes trying to hit her and stuff# ( he cabdrivers doing
nothing# )es s cared shit=es s# '> now at the front5 near the drivers s ide and ' hit the hood with > y
hand and ' ho=d u< > y <hone# You see5 the <hone is the thing# "o ' ho=d u< > y <hone and s ay5 9.o '
have to ca== the <o=ice0: (hats what <eo<=e need to know5 that the <hone is the
1T
thing# 1ust <u== out your <hone# 9.o ' gotta ca== the <o=ice0 ' > ean ' can do that whi=e ' run away fro>
you#: "o he <o<s his head out of the car5 =ets go of her5 and the car drives off but now hes u< in >y
gri== and hes <iss ed# And this is two weeks after the other thing and > y gir=friend is now s cared to
death# ( he guy s tarts ta=king about how it was a== the gir=s fau=t# ' >ean5 '> a nice guy and so if hes
wi==ing to ta=k '> okay# And it was over in two seconds # ' Lus t to=d hi> 5 9* ook5 you dont want the
kind of troub=e ' Lust had# You wanna hit so> ebody5 you do it in the <rivacy of your house because the
rea=ity of it is you cant hit s o> ebody in <ub=ic without the <ub=ic getting invo=ved# &ut if youre s
tanding out in the street and youre hitting so> ebody0 '> going to ca== the <o=ice#: And he Lust
wa=ked off#
(he neCt one was at a cafU# (his gir= sees these guys out of the corner of her eye as s he s its at this c
afU# "he fee=s bad# "he fee=s gui=ty because shes white5 theyre b=ack5 and so she doesnt want to <ut
her <urs e away because it== s ee> =ike she does nt trust the> # &ut thes e guys were sketchy as fuck# '
>ean5 if you s ee a white guy a== tatted u< with <rison tattoos youre right to > aybe not trust hi># Your
s<idey s ens e was ting=ing and you ignore it5 s o ' dont fee= sorry for these gir=s at a==# &ut ' find this
a== out =ater# A<<arent=y she had her <urse out and these guys snatched it off of the back of the chair# "o
now '> wa=king down the s treet and ' hear 9"to<5 sto<6 (hos e guys got > y <urse666: ( hen ' see
these two guys running in the bike =ane a nd these two gir=s chas ing the># !ow they take off across
the stree t and5 hey5 ', not going to get invo=ved# ' >ean5 ' got >y own <rob=e>s # '> not going to
be a su<erhero# )onest=y5 ' did not want to get invo=ved in this5 &U( 7 the foo= ran right back
across the street5 right in front of > e5 and about three yards in front of > e hes du> <ing stuff out of
the <urse and s tuffing the >oney into his <ockets#
&ut this ti>e '> right on to< of hi> and so ' grabbed hi> and ' Lust say5 9i>> e the > oney#: "o
now his friend co> es over and his friend is a foot ta==er than >e but ' sti== got the first guy and so '
grab the second guy by the wrist so ' can contro= hi> and '> Lust trying to eC<=ain to thes e guys that '
dont want any troub=e but '> thinking to > ys e=f5 9)ow do ' get into this kind of shit0:
"o the guy starts in with5 9We didnt do nothing: and ' say5 9)ey5 '> not the <o=ice5 >an# ' got
nothing to argue about here5 ' Lust want the >oney# ' WA!( the > oney# ive it to >e# (heres no
Ludge or Lury here# Were not going to tria=# ' Lust want the >oney# Either that or these gir=s are going to
ca== the <o=ice and ' guarantee you ' can ho=d on to you5 at =eas t one of you5 unti= the co<s get here#:
%f cours e5 they gave u< a== the >oney and they wa=k off and the gir=s to=d >e a== of what ha<<ened
and ' was thinking5 .ude5 if ' had known that you were so s tu<id5 ' wou=d not even have ste<<ed into
this #
(he =ast two were at a nightc=ub in %ak=and where > e and > y new gir=friend went dancing# (wo
a=tercations in one night# At the sa> e <=ace# We were having a good ti>e and we threw our coats and
things on this <i=e# "o we decide were
1T
going to go out and have a cigarette and so we grab our stuff and s o> e guy co> es u< to >e and
accuses > e of taking his gir=friends <urse# !ow5 >y gir= is in the bathroo> and this guys facing >e
outside the bathroo> 5 trying to get the <urs e fro> >e# "o he says5 9Yo5 you took > y gir=friends
<urse#: And so ' te== hi>5 9' dont see any gir=friend#:
(his is going on for a > inute or two with hi> te==ing > e how hes going to kick > y ass and ' te== hi>
hes going to )A2E to kick >y ass to get this <urse because '> not going to =et hi> stea= the <urse of
the gir= '> with#
!ow5 this is not a bad guy5 right0 'ts Lust so>e guy who is trying to get ho=d of a <urs e that he thinks
be=ongs to his o=d =ady5 right0
( urns out it is# Fuck# *ets Lust s ay ' was buying drinks =ater and he was very coo= about the who=e
thing because his gir=friend co> es out of the bathroo>5 ' ask her to o<en it and show > e its hers 5
and its hers5 and at this <oint >y gir= has co>e out and says5 9( hats not >y <urse#: ' had no idea#
And ' was te==ing the guy shit =ike5 9You know5 if you even )A2E a gir=friend5 which ' a> having a
hard ti>e be=ieving 7 we==5 'F she co> es out5 we == see#: And '> ta=king to the guy =ike this whi=e
the guy is u< in >y gri== te==ing > e hes going to kick >y ass#
&ut afterward were >aking friends5 right0 Were =aughing about it actua==y and ' =ean back and knock
s o> e guys drink over on to< of one of thos e tab=eto< video-ga>e things# "o ' s ay5 9.ude5 '>
sorry#: &ut he gets u< and he decides that hes going to be a hard-on because he was watching the
who=e <urse thing and theres this e=ectricity in the air and5 you know5 fights break out a== the ti>e at
other fights# ' > ean Lust because everyone Lus t gets s o a><ed# 'ts =ike a s<ark fro> a fire# 've seen it
before# Es<ecia==y with gir= fights for so>e reason#
!ow5 ' a=ready bought these other guys drinks but ' offer to get hi> one but he te==s >e no/ 9' want >
oney5: he says# ' Lust start =aughing at hi># And a== these <eo<=e Lust Lu>< on hi># )e was >aking a big
s how out of 9)o=d >e back5 ho=d > e back: but everyone there s ee>ed to know that if he was =et go
he was going to get his ass kicked# ' >ean '> not a big guy5 '> 1RH5 but this guy is s >a==er than > e#
,eanwhi=e '> having to ho=d back the first guy ' a=>ost got into a fight with because now hes > y
new best <a=# )e wants to kick this guys as s#
' t doesnt see> =ike theres an overriding >essage here5 though5 is there0
We==5 its better to wa=k away5 ' think5 but Lust because '> a <acifist doesnt > ean ' have no
res<onsibi=ity to <reve nt har>/ a wo> an thats getting her ass kicked 7 you know 7 '> not a
eunuch#
.o you have thes e =ike 2ietna> s crea> ing night>ares 0
!o# We==5 ' had night>ares for a =ong ti> e5 though# .efinite=y# !ot now5 though# ' was very nervous 5
though5 and > y gir=friend at the ti>e cou=dnt s=e e<# 'd wake
1T
u< at nightti>e and shed be crying# 't was hard#
.o you think it had anything to do with the end of your re=ations hi< with her0
XPauseY ,ight have# 'ts hard to se<arate out that stuff5 though# Fro> >y <ers<ective it see> ed to
strengthen our connections to each other because it created a bond# ,aybe =ike going to war with
so>ebody# "o if she wants to run off and get >arried to > y bes t friend5 we==5 s crew it5 shes entit=ed
to s o> e s=ack5
because she went through a =ot#
()E P*A-E " (% *' 2E ,%"( *'K E*Y (% E( Y%U () E K '!. %F F' ) (" Y% U "%
A$.E!(*Y .E"'$E/ (% () E .EA()6
"ure5 sure there are so>e 1 ohnny-co>e-=ate=ies that you >ay try to argue %! the =is t ?"udan5
$wanda@ but the fo==owing =ist was co> <i=ed after carefu==y cu==ing "tate .e<art>ent trave=
advisories and =ooking at stats going a few years back that were connected to vio=ent cri> es5 and the
kind of inter<ersona= strugg=e that rea==y is > o>entous=y > easurab=e/ =oss of =ife#
"o for a vacation test of your U*(',A( E ski==s >ay we invite you to <erus e the <ossibi=ity of sudden
death in these fine vacation hot s <ots# *eave your troub=es at ho> e# And bring =ots of cash#
1# Ango=a
8# ( he &a=kans
M# -o=o>bia
;# -ate .'voire
H# 'ndia
E# 'ndonesia
R# 'raK
J# 'srae=
I# !igeria
1T
1T# Pakistan
11# (he Phi=i<<ines
18# "outh Africa
1M# United "tates
1;# UAbekistan
1H# 2eneAue=a
1E# Si>babwe
11
F %U $(EE!
'5 "%--E$
)%%*'A!6
(heres (hird W or=d chaos # !othing beats (hird Wor=d chaos if chaos is what you want# ( he ana=ogy
> ight be going craA y in a craAy hous e# When the =aw5 as it was5 never eCis ted eCce<t as so> e sort of
weird sche> a of wi=d Lung=e hate5 then > oving beyond it see> s to be so eas y# Wi== we ever get out
of the ,idd=e Eastern > orass 0 Wi== Africa ever be a continent not bes et with woe0 Wi== cry<to-narco
death sKuads never cease fighting over -entra= A> erican cocaine <rofits0
Who cares0
'f you =ive in a <=ace where you can s=ee< at night with a reasonab=e eC<ectation of waking u<
without a yawning head wound5 then its <robab=y okay to tender a gues s that you dont# 'f5 in fact5
you do care5 your ar> chair <o=iticking is <robab=y Lust a sa=ve designed to s oothe your sense of
sorrow over greasing your =arders with =ayer u<on =a yer of fi=thy =ucre# &ecause5 you s ee5 it see>s that
here in the First Wor=d our concerns are > uch > ore <rovincia= and we get our chaos in s>a ==
s=ices / >ovies5 E> ine> -.s5 and ro=e-<=aying ga>es that occasiona==y break through the s kin of
gros s irrea=ity in a <=a ce =ike -o=u> bine or 2irginia ( ech and s hock everybody for a few > inutes
before we a== go back to > editating on beauty Kueens strang=ed in s eC s hockers a nd various =y
instructive dating dos and donts fro> )o==ywoods dra> a c=ub#
&ut when youre co><aring a<<=es and a<<=es 5 things s ta rt to >ake >uch > ore s ens e# First Wor=d
chaos is its own <iKuant b=end of ghetto fights5 drive-by s hootings5 and trai=er-<ark-backyard->
eth-fue=ed wrest=ing >atches# And whi=e the dece<tive=y <=acid s uburban idy== of "outh -entra=
*os Ange=es or the des<airing <ost-indus tria=is> of a .etroit see> to a== <oint down the s a>e road5
why is it that nowhere outs ide of $ussia5 with its bare=y First Wor=d wi=es 5 do ' fee= > ore in rea=
<hysica= <eri= than ' do when '> in the UK0
We==5 =ets go to the UK to find out#
11
Pete the &oCer <ro> ised an underground fight > atch W =a uy $itchies wa=k on the wi=d side in his
<re-,r# ,adonna f=ick "natch# 'n four days ' > ight be ab=e to >ake [;5TTT5 which5 given how
eCecrab=y the U" do==ar is doing these days5 is rea= godda> ned cash# (he way it works is this / its
tourna>ent s ty=e a nd the touts 5 the degenerate ga> b=ers5 <ays their > oney and they takes their
chances# (he > ore you fight and win5 the >ore you > ake# $u=es see> <retty noneCistent but whi=e
takedowns are fine5 ' a> to=d if ' start doing any 9chokey ground s hit you >ight find your hands fu==#:
As we sit si<<ing at the &uffa=o &ar in 's=ington5 Pete has =ed > e to be=ieve5 through a casua= s
e>a<hore of nods 5 s >i=es5 and raised eyebrows5 this wou=d > ean fighting >uch > ore than other
fighters # %ne on one# "o ' nod assent and he > oves to >ake a ca==#
&ut first a drink# And another# And a nother# And <retty soon he s tarts thinking he== co>e out of
retire>ent5 es<ecia==y since the East End cats who set hi> u< s ti== owe hi># And whi=e ' try to send
hi> off to his ca== =ike -ha> ber=ain5 he gets there as -hurchi== and Kueers the who=e dea=5
es<ecia==y s ince the dea= never inc=uded hi> threatening to cut A!Y%!E" ba==s off# ,aybe its the
veneer of <o=itess e that s ee>s to >ask a viru=ent and big-ba==ed unhea=thines s that a=ways foo=s >e5
but the &rits are c=ear=y5 by > y Western standards5 insane# 've been here one day and the who=e of =ate
su> >erti> e * ondon fee=s =ike one grou< of <eo<=e running fro> one fight to the neCt# ,aybe its the
nationa= di<so>ania5 who knows0 &ut 've gone E5TTT >i=es and have nothing to s how for it# !o fight5
no fight that== <ay [;5TTT5 no interview with *ee ,urray5 no nothing outside of a bit of nightc=ub
convivia=ity#
Unti= ' >eet 1ack "argeant5 and5 =ike so> e s ort of ri> > s fairy-ta=e charac ter5
11
he s ays 5 9)ow now5 brown cow0 Why s o g=u> 0: And ' eC<=ain >y <=ight5 and he offers =ike so> e
sort of > agica=-bean-toting fairy5 a s o=ution/ Wou=d a soccer hoo=igan do you for0
W hat0 You >ean he =ikes soccer0 And drinking0 And running fro> the co<s0 "ounds =ike (uesday
in !a<=es#
And he <roceeds to eC<=ain to >e that his friend recent=y had his door kicked in by the <o=ice or
'nter<o= or "cot=and Yard or so> e s uch fucking thing and they s eiAed his co><uters 5 which were
chockfu== of fight <=ans5 train and ga>e s chedu=es5 <ics of fights5 and his > anus cri<t on <recise=y
this/ soccer vio=ence# A== gone now5 in the hands of the authorities 5 who had identified hi> as so>
eone invo=ved in 9a cons<iracy to co> >it vio=ent disorder#:
And so he asks again/ You wanna ta=k to hi>0
% h yeah# *adies and gent=e>en/ *orne &rown5 s occer hoo=igan#
Actua==y the correct ter> wou=d be footba== hoo=iganD not soccerDor footba== cas ua=#
% kay# ' stand corrected# "o whats your tea>0 W hich is rea==y for >e =ike asking whats your favorite
cricket tea>0 ' have no fucking idea rea==y# &ut there are so>e that > ight5 so go ahead and te== >e#
&righton and )ove A=bion5 who are based in &righton5 south coast of Eng=and# ( hen ,i==wa== for
three s easons when ' was banned by the courts and c=ub# ' actua==y dont go at the >o> ent as '>
banned again# &ut ' fo==owed the> fro>
1IJR onward a== over the country# You know5 origina==y ' started going F%$ the footba== but s oon got
swe<t u< in the who=e at> os<here and started going > ore for the action than the ga> e# &ut ' was sti==
<as sionate about su<<orting the c=ub#
(his see> s =ike a rough=y agreed u<on dea=5 yeah0 Are there >arkers =ike there used to be in
skinhead cu=ture that fo==ows the footba== hoo=igan0 &races u<0 &races down0 (hat kind of thing0
( he 9casua=s5: as footba== hoo=igans beca>e known in the 1IJTs5 wore certain c=othes to b=end in with
the crowds5 away fro> the o=d skinhead i>age# We wore =abe=s such as Ar>ani5 * acos te5 'ta=ian
s<ortswear =ike Fi=a5 Ka<<a5 and wore Adidas trainers and (i> ber=and boots# 't beca> e Lus t as i>
<ortant to =ook good#
!ow5 is it a fight-on-sight dea=0 % r are you >ore =ike=y to fight with fans fro> s o> e tea> s >ore
than with others0
't wou=dnt be rando> vio=ence# You wou=d know who the o<<os ition was by the way they we re dress
ed# ( he Fir> s5 as they were known as5 wou=d try and >eet
11
anywhere in the town where the ga> e was being <=ayed5 away fro> the <o=ice5 if <ossib=e# And there
are o=d riva=ries too5 s uch as ,i==wa== and West )a> 5 ,anchester United and *eeds United5
and thes e wou=d attract thous ands of hoo=igans# With &righton it was > ain=y geogra<hica=5
and so our riva=s are -rysta= Pa=ace# Ports> outh# %Cford United and *eyton %rient# (hes e
ga> es cou=d be very vio=ent/ the =as t ti>e we <=ayed -rysta= Pa=ace we took four hundred =ads
to their ground and it took 8HT <o=ice to <revent a riot#
) ave the <recautions theyve taken to kee< you a== fro> trave=ing worked0
( he <o=ice tactics have worked very we== at ho>e and abroad# ( he us e of --(2 Xc=os ed-circuit
te=evisionY ca>eras on he=> ets 5 he=ico<ters5 riot <o=ice5 dogs 5 > ounted <o=ice5 and heavy Lai=
sentences have deterred a =ot of <eo<=e5 but for big ga> es everyone s ti== turns out for the day#
W hat was the dea= with the <o=ice seiAing a== of your stuff0
We==5 'd been arres ted severa= ti>es for fighting# And had been to court a few ti>es over the years so
the <o=ice knew who ' was 5 a=ong with > any of the others in the Fir> # (hey have what they ca== an
inte==igence officer as signed to each c=ub to identify hoo=igans # "o one "aturday we <=ayed *eeds
United and there was troub=e invo=ving forty fans fighting in a <ub and in the street in one of
&rightons > ain roads# * ater fifty of us c=ashed in another <ub in the historica= <art of town about ten
oc=ock in the evening# (en thous and <ounds worth of da> age was done and s evera= <eo<=e inLured
and a <o=ice dog was ki==ed in the fighting when the <o=ice tried to break it u<# Unfortuna te=y for > e
and twenty others it was caught on --(2# (his =ed to our houses being targeted5 riot <o=ice kicking our
doors down and arresting >ost of us# ' was =ucky they Lust seiAed a== >y eKui<> ent and =ater
dro<<ed the charges of cons<iracy to co>> it vio=ent disorder# (en others were not so =ucky and
were sent to Lai=# )ence5 've ke<t >y head down as ' have a three-year-o=d son now# Which >eans '
choose > y ga> es very wis e=y now#
11
' s there any s ort of history to this vio=ence0 ' >ean5 were they doing this shit back in the 1I8Ts0
'ts been going on in one way or another for a hundred years 5 but it wasnt unti= the 1IRTs that it
beca> e organiAed and a=>ost fashionab=e for a whi=e# 'n the
1I;Ts a hand grenade was thrown onto the <itch at a ,i==wa== ga>e# And the two
> ain "cottish c=ubs5 =asgow $angers and - e=tic5 have been fighting over footba== and re=igion
since the ga>e began# 't has died down a bit now due to <o=ice efforts and heavy <unish>ents in the
courts # &ut in the RTs5 thousands wou=d try and take each others s tands in <itched batt=es 5 and they
wou=d fight it out on the <itch with the ga> e s ti== going ahead#
.o chicks fight as we==0
!ever seen it > ys e=f but have heard of it on rare occasions#
11
Are the c=ubs >u=ticu=tura=0 You know5 bringing together different races and co=ors and creeds in a
veritab=e festiva= of fighting brotherhood0
'ts >ain=y white and working-c=as s# &etween the ages of fifteen and fifty# )owever5 so>e
c=ubs such as &ir>ingha> are known as the Su=us due to the =arge nu> be r of b=ack =ads in their
Fir> # 'n fact5 the Su=us us ua==y feature in the to< five worst hoo=igan gangs in the country and have
been res <onsib=e for so>e of the wors t vio=ence s een at >atches over the years # ,ost Fir>s do have
so>e =ads fro> other ethnic backgrounds5 though#
) ow co> e there was no troub=e when the Wor=d -u< was <=ayed in the UK
the =as t ti>e0
( hat ones si><=e/ Eng=and didnt Kua=ify for the Wor=d -u< then# 'n 1II; we were knocked out by
)o==and in $otterda> in the grou< stages in 1IIM# ' was there and it was insane before the ga> e and
after5 with over fifteen hundred arres ts as Eng=and fans rioted#
' s there anything that co>es c=ose to the thri== of a good fight0 And are there techniKues for doing
better in these fights that >aybe a trained fighter wou=d not have even thought of0
!othing e=s e gives you that surge of adrena =ine that you get Lus t before a fight# 't cant be eC<=ained#
Addictive0 Yes # And the ca>araderie5 being in a tight s<ot and having to fight your way out0 You cant
re<=ace it with anything e=s e# And ' dont think a Liu-Lits u fighter wou=d stand any better chance in
these fights than anyone e=se as they are > ain=y gang re=ated5 and a=though he cou=d take > ost of
the> down one on one5 he wou=d be s wa> <ed after a whi=e# We had kickboCers
11
and boCers in our Fir> 5 and as tough as these guys were there was nt > uch ca== for techniKue in these
situations #
"o what is going on5 techniKue-wise0
'ts <retty > uch anything goes/ <unching5 kicking5 head butts5 the =ot# )owever5 kicking <eo<=e on the
ground is usua==y frowned u<on5 a=though it does go on as s o> e <eo<=e take things a bit far5 and there
have been s evera= deaths over the years# &ut 've been in fights where we have been attacked with
f=are guns 5 -" X8--h=orobenAa=> a=ononitri=eY5 or teargas and knives# A=though never guns # !ot fro>
footba== fans 5 that is# Knives were used a =ot > ore in the 1IJTs5 es<ecia==y "tan=ey knives # 've never
carried a wea<on > ys e=f# 1ust not >y thing# )owever5 ' have used u> bre==as5 bott=es 5 <=anks of
wood5 and us ed a co<s stick on hi> once#
www#acas ua==ook#co#uk
() E .'$(Y .% SE!/
&E"( !% $() A,E$'-A! "P %$(" &$AW*" A!. %U$
U!F*'!-)' ! *Y U!$EP E!(A!( ( AK E % ! W) Y () EY WE$E $EA(
) ouston $ockets vs# * os Ange=es *akers5 .ece> ber I5 1IRRD Ker> it Washington5 sucker <unch#
$udy (o>Lanovich5 hos<ita=iAation5 atte> <ted > urder5 career-ending inLuries # !uff said#
(o> a>boa ets 1u><ed5 "e<te> ber 1I5 8TT8D (he H;-year-o=d Kansas -ity $oya=s coach
( o> a>boa gets attacked by a >eth-fue=ed father and teenage son doub=e tea># Who said good
<arenting is dead0 %utside of everyone who reads this story0
*os Ange=es .odgers vs# "an F rancisco iants5 August 885 1IEHD( wo intentiona= beanings 5 a 1uan
,aricha=-=aunche d bat to the head of 1ohnny $oseboro5 and a <erfect=y wrist-s=a<<ish eight-ga> e
sus<ension# When they ta=ked about the good o= days 7 this is <robab=y what they > ean#
11
,ontrea= -anadiens vs # &os ton &ruins5 ,arch 1M5 1IHHD(he bes t <art of having contro= is =os ing it5
and -anadiens =egend ,aurice $ichard was never known for having >uch to begin with5 so when he
took a stick to )a= *aycoeDand a => ost everyone e=s e who tried to s to< hi> fro> taking a stick to *
aycoeD he had c=ear=y *%"( it# For his troub=es he was sus<ended by =eague <resident -=arence -a>
<be==5 who5 at his neCt <ub=ic a<<earance5 was attacked in a riot that resu=ted in over ha=f a > i==ion
do==ars of da> age and the arrest of a=>ost every sing=e $ ichard fan in attendance#
,a=ice at the Pa=ace/ 'ndiana Pacers vs # .etroit Pistons5 !ove> ber 1I5
8TT;D Everybody beating their ches ts over how 9horrib=e5: how 9dreadfu=: a s tate of affairs
basketba== had degenerated to/ whatever# 'f this was nt the greatest ga> e of bas ket-braw= you had e
ver seen5 we==5 we== Lu> < out of the stands and start wi=d=y <unching a=>ost everyone in s ight# "ure5
Artest was sus<ended for an entire season5 and "te<hen 1ackson ?MT ga>es@5 and 1er>aine
%!ea= ?8H ga>es@5 but who cares0 We va=ue honesty over <ri>e- ti> e <ro<riety# %n dis<=ay here
was eCact=y what shou=d ha<<en when >i==ionaires are toyed with by the great unwas hed/ as s-
kicking#
11
,i=bury vs# (he "hoe5 .ece>ber 8M5 1IRID&oston &ruin ,ike ,i=bury beat a curs ing5 kicking5
stick-wie=ding fan with the fans own shoe0 Perfect#
Frank Francisco vs# A Wo>ans !ose5 "e<te> ber 1M5 8TT;D For the record0 )er husband was a
heck=er5 she aided and abetted the <ub=ic dec=ine of >anners5 ( eCas $angers <itcher Francis co was
Lust doing what anyone who reads ,iss ,anners wou=d have known was eCact=y the right thing/ he bus
t her in the nose with a fo=ding chair# *ife =e sson =earned0 You wi== get sus<ended for fifteen ga>es
5 get a rrested5 and <=ead no contest to >isde> eanor assau=t charges# %h5 and you== get
sued and sett=e# 2eeerrrrryyyy disa<<ointing#
"an .iego Padres vs # At=anta &raves5 Augus t 185 1IJ;D !ineteen eLected <=ayers5 five s <ec tators
arrested5 &raves >anager 1oe (orre <egging "an .iego > anager .ick Wi==ia>s as )it=er in a
bas eba== ca<# A> ericas <asti> e0 You know it5 baby#
&rook=yn .odgers fan vs# eorge ,agerkurth5 "e<te>ber 1I5 1I;TD Enraged <aro=e vio=ate r Frank
er>ano =ea<s out of the stands to wha=e on the for>er heavyweight-boCer-turned-u> <ire
,agerkurth whose ca== cost &rook=yn first <=ace5 handing it to the -incinnati $eds# ave new =ife to
the <hrase 9Ki== the u><ire6:
11
,ike ( ys on vs# Evander )o=yfie=d5 1une 8J5 1IIRD->on0 E ar avu=sion0 An ensuing riot0 (ooth-
based >ayhe>0 (he =ast great thing that (yson ever did5 which Lust about says it a==#
(he Punch-u< in Piestany/ -anada vs # "oviet Union5 W or=d 1unior )ockey -ha><ionshi<s5
1anuary H5 1IJRD&ench-c=earing braw=s that saw E2E$Y%!E in the arena fighting# Panicked
officia=s turned off the =ights in a s ad atte><t to restore order/ E2E$Y%!E ke<t fighting in the
dark# a> e cance=ed5 both tea>s banned fro> the tourna> ent# An a>aAing think-tank =eve= of co>
>it>ent to the fistic arts# Kudos5 gent=e>en#
$iddick &owe vs # Andrew o=ota5 1u=y 115 1IIED *ow b=ows and a head butt disKua =ified the
9Po=ish Prince#: When a > e>ber of the &rook=yn-born &owes entourage attacked o=ota5 s>as hing
hi> in the head with a wa=kie- ta=kie5 the ensuing ru> b=e in the ring =ed to fans braw=ing in the stands
at ,adis on "Kuare arden5 ending5 not s o <redictab=y5 in a riot# !ow ()A( "
entertain> ent#
()E &$AW *'! ) A**%F FA,E F %$ !% P A$(' -U*A$
11
$EA"%!
&'**Y ,A$('!/ For being drunk# And fighting# And fighting drunk#
()E -'(Y of &%"(%!/ For the sa> e reasons#
(Y -%&&/ For beating u< a one-ar>ed > an with his one fake ar>#
1AK E *A ,%((A/ For having great <eri<hera= vision5 which was the key to his un-knock-outabi=ity#
KY*E FA$!"W% $() and &'** $% ,A!%W "K '/ Are they not one and the sa>e <erson0
,'KE (Y"% !/ WA$ at the "(%$E# -ase c=osed# And =as t but not =east 7
1', &$%W !/ .o !%(5 we re<eat !%(5 <=ay go=f with this >an# %r =ets <ut it another way/ 's an
eag=e worth your =ife0
1 of I
F 'F (EE!
)%*'.AY %! '-E5
% $5 W ) A( (% .% W )E!
-% !F $% !(E. &Y A! A!$Y -A!A.' A! W '() A "('-K
) ockeys beco>e sort of a backwater# (his ha<<ens when strikes drag on for years5 when ru=e changes
change an a=ready difficu=t ga> e to fo==ow5 and when the <ub=ics taste for and confusion regarding
thuggery reigns su<re> e# And that godda> ned video of "teve ,oores head bouncing off the ice =ike
a handba== with hair every ti>e so>eone wanted to ta=k about hockey didnt he=< either#
&ut there WA" a ti>e5 a ti> e before the ti>e when the W!&A was s coring > ore viewers than !)*
hockey ?and there== be no c=ai> s > ade for hockey here as its re<utation as 9soc cer on ice: has not
been =ost on us@ when s o> e of the toughest >en ever to c=ock ti>e in a sanctioned s <orts event <=ied
their trade# ( hat trade being5 s<ecifica==y/ hockey enforcer#
Part shark5 <art hit>an5 the enforcer was an indis<ens ab=e co> <onent of the iced trade5 and though
grace-note sus<ens ions were routine=y handed out by way of 9<ena=ty > inutes5: the tough guy5 >
ake that (%U) guy5 as s <orts hero hadnt had this kind of Luice s ince (y -obb was beating u<
<eo<=e in the s tands for heck=ing hi> #
%f the ass e>b=ed (%U) guys 5 whose re<utations rest u<on weeks and weeks of <ena=ty >inutes 5 a
few na>es e> erge5 but on=y %!E na>e e> erges as the toughest A!. the best/ ('E .%,'#
.o> i5 with > ore <ena=ty > inutes than any other <=ayer in the history of the ( oronto ,a<=e *eafs5
was third overa== in career !)* <ena=ty >inutes ?see s idebar5 <ages 1IIV8T1@# Which >eans that
after a s iCteen-year career ?that Lust ended in 8TTE@ and over 15TTT ga>es5 he s gotten into > ore
fights than <robab=y Lust about anyone e=s e you K!%W# %n ice# Against guys with sticks # &'E$
guys with sticks #
Which is <recise=y why hes here#
8 of I
) ockey fights/ bu==s hit atte> <t at <andering to a s ensation->ad fan base
?and were %K AY with that@ or so>ething e=se0
( ie .o>i/ )ockeys a ga>e of a =ot of e> otion but inside a== of that e> otion is a ga> e where
occasiona==y you got a guy who wants to take a chea< shot# %r a =iberty# Whatever you want to ca== it#
And us ua==y theres a guy or two whose Lob it is to res<ond to that# (o >ake the guys chea< shot cos t
a =itt=e bit# At the very =east hes there to $E"P%!. to it# 'ts not the case that you get the better of hi>
but at =east so>ebodys ho=ding so>e body accountab=e# "o when you have a tough guy on the
bench it > akes guys res <ect whats going on a =ot >ore because they know theyre going to be he=d
accountab=e#
And5 you know5 so> eti> es fights dont a=ways ha<<en to get so> eone back# "o>eti>es its to
change the f=ow of the ga>e# 'f youre down 8VT you gotta change s o> ething# 'f youre not in the >
ood5 you sti== gotta do it to turn the ga>e around# And thats what ' was best at# And 'd go after one of
their bes t <=ayers to get so> eone to co> e at >e# %r ' wou=d ya < at the bench# You do this =ong
enough and you know so>eones going to co>e# &ut becaus e ' was one of the tougher guys 5 <eo<=e
didnt want to go with > e5 but even if they ca> e u< to >e Lust to ta=k5 if the o<<ortunity was right0 'd
do it# And everybody knew if ' did it when we were down ' was doing it for the tea> and not Lust for >
yse=f# &ut guys who are enforcers are born into this ro=e# !o coach is creating a <ersona=ity that can get
out there and do this s tuff#
M of I
W hat about these su<er high=y <ub=iciAed things =ike (odd &ertuAAi0 ?"teve ,oore s uffered three
fractured vertebrae in his neck5 a grade-three concuss ion5 vertebra= =iga> ent da>age5
stretching of the brachia= <=eCus nerves5 and facia= cuts at the hands of &ertuAAi#@
,oore shou=d have s een it co>ing# *ook5 ,oore hit ,arkus !as=und5 <utting hi> out for three ga>
es# (he best <=ayer on the 2ancouver -anucks# And hes the ca<tain# "o when ,oore hit hi> he had to
know that neCt ga >e he was a target# &ertuAAis not a tough guy# !either is ,oore actua==y5 but if you
<=ay hockey you know so>eones co>ing for you# And everybody was trying to do so>ething to try to
fight hi> and he wou=dnt res<ond5 right0 Unfortunate=y whe n &ertuAAi got hi> his head hit the ice5
&U( he shou=da seen it co> ing# And because he shou=da s een it co> ing5 he5 first shift5 shou=da
fought so>ebody Lus t to get it over with# 'nstead he was Lust acting =ike he was going to get away with
it but thats Lust not the way the ga> es <=ayed# And the ga>es been <=ayed for how > any years0 '
dont know what kind of fucking hockey )E was watching as a kid but =as t ti>e ' checked if you take
out the other tea>s best <=ayer with a dirty hit you better be eC<ecting to answer the be==#
A== right5 fight techniKues 0 What are the ones that ' can use to kee< fro> getting "teve ,oored0
( he >ost i> <ortant ones are having the right ba=ance5 being on to< of your feet5 and having a good
gri<# 'f your =e gs are not s Kuared <ro<er=y and you dont have a good gri<5 youre going to have a
tough ti>e# ' was a=ways the s> a==er guy7
At HF1T5 81T0
; of I
'f youre fighting guys EFHF and 8MH5 yeah# &ut the thing ' got to te== you is this/ if
you dont =ike getting hit you > ight as we== not do the ro=e# You dont =ike fighting0 .ont start5
because once you fight a few guys youre a=ways going to be known as a guy who== fight# &ut 'd grab
the guys s hirt5 right underneath his chin5 and ' used to bring it5 ' us ed to throw <retty hard5 but 'd
bring it fro> what they ca==ed the "outh Po=e# And ' used to throw that with > y chin down to <rotect
> y face # After that 'd Lus t fo==ow > y hand because ' knew so> ewhere in there5 between > y two
fists was going to be his face# "o whatever hand '> throwing5 ' turn >y chin the sa> e way# ?For a==
you fight fans5 turning his head to the right if he was throwing <unches with his right#@
rabbing the Lers ey is i> <ortant too# Youve got to grab a guy on the Lersey or Lacket or so> ething by
the e=bow or further down the ar># "o> e guys grab right underneath the ar><it and they get tagged#
&ut you grab at the e=bow or down toward the hand the guy cant throw a <unch# You a=so gotta =ock
your ar> # 'f you =ock your ar> s traight when you grab the guy you can ho=d hi> and its tough to
break away fro> that#
' invented the =itt=e Lab <unch with the Lers ey# *ike ' said5 'd grab the guys Lersey right under his chin#
(hes e s hirts .% stretch s o if you <u== it out and throw that =itt=e <unch with the hand thats grabbing
the Lersey you can rea==y actua==y hurt a guy# $ea==y >ake his eyes water# Add to that (he "<in# ' started
s<inning guys to get the> off ba=ance# (hats <robab=y >y trade>ark too5 but once ' got the s<in going
they knew ' was kinda in contro=# 'f you s<in toward the ar> theyre throwing5 youre wa=king right
into it5 so 'd s<in away fro> the <unc h#
% kayD Lersey grab5 chin <unches5 (he "<in5 head toward <unching ar>5 and b=ind <unches in the
vicinity of the Lersey hand# (his shit work on the street0 ' >ean5 with any sort of regu=arity0
H of I
%h yeah# You know ' didnt take any shit fro> anybody but when ' was in !ew York it ha<<ened a =ot#
Peo<=ed see > e at a bar and theyd s ay5 9)ey5 youre (ie .o>i6: And then after a few drinks itd be5
9%h5 youre not that big5 .o> i#: A few > ore drinks =ater itd be5 9You <robab=y aint that tough5
either#: And then fina==y itd be so>ething =ike5 9!ice haircut5 assho=e#: And before you know it the
guys staring at the cei=ing5 =aying on his back# %ne ti> e in -hicago a cou<=e of ,arines were in > y
face# (heyd been bothering >y tea> > ates and so ' asked5 9's there a <rob=e> here0: (he guy gets in
> y face5 nose to nos e =ike hes a dri== s argeant5 9PA$.%! ,E5 "'$ 5 W)A( .'. Y%U "AY5 "'$0:
And ' s aid5 9)ey5 buddy5 get outta > y face right now or '== <ut you in a co> a#: ' grabbed the> both
by the throat and threw the> down the stairs # ' took care of >y tea> >ates on and off the ice#
% kay 7 and fina==y5 co>ing fro> a tough guy5 this >ight > ean so> ething/
na>e s o> e of the toughest guys youve ever fought 7
'n no <articu=ar order
1# &ob Probert5 for s ure# 9 We had so>e dandies # ' was young and <=aying at ,adison "Kuare
arden and thats when ' used to do that WWE shit/ > i>ing the cha> <ions be=t5 the s<eed
bag5 and a== of that shit# X,arkY ,es sier convinced >e to s to< that5 though#:
8# .ave &rown
M# .ona=d &rashear
;# -raig 9(he -hief: &erube
H# K en &au>gartner
E# 1oe K ocur
R# -hris "i> on
J# $ob $ay
I# Ken .aneyko
and =ast but not =eas t
1T# (ony (wis t
(%P (E! -A$EE$ !)* P E!A*(Y ,' !U(E * EA.E$"
E of I
, '!U(E" YEA$" P*AYE.
1# . ave 9(ige r: W i= =ia> s M5IEE 1IR;V1IJJ
(EA," ,a<=e * eafs5 -anucks 5 $ ed Wings5 Kings5 Wha=ers
9!% (A&*E: A-)' E2E,E!(" "<ent the eKuiva=ent of over s eventy co><=ete ga> es in the
<ena=ty boC during his career5 and was once invo=ved in a s tick due= with .ave )utchinson of the *A
KingsDwhi=e '! the <ena=ty boC#
8# . a=e ) un ter M5HEH 1IJTV1III
(EA," !ordiKues 5 -a<ita=s5 Ava=anche
9!% (A&*E: A-)' E2E,E!(" When his nu>ber was retired by
Washington he was <resented with his own <ena=ty boC#
, '!U(E" YEA$ " P*AYE.
M# (ie .o> i M5H1H 1IJIV8TTE
(EA," $angers 5 1 ets5 ,a<=e *eafs
9!% (A&*E: A-)' E2E,E!(" "<rayed a heck=ing fan with water whi=e in the <ena=ty boC in
Phi=ade=<hia# A drunk fan banged on the g=ass unti= the <ane= gave way5 causing the fan to fa== into the
boC with .o> i5 who got in his whacks before the fan was eLecte d fro> the arena#
;# ,ar ty ,c" or= ey M5MJ1 1IJMV8TTT
(EA," Penguins5 %i=ers5 Kings5 $angers5 "harks 5 &ruins
9!% (A&*E: A-)'E2E,E!(" -onvicted for ass au=ting .ona=d
R of I
&ras hear with his stick ?& rashear fe== backward to the ice and received a
concuss ion@5 s us <ended for a year5 never <=ayed another ga> e in the !)*#
H# &ob Prob er t M5MTT 1IJHV8TT8
(EA," $ed Wings5 &=ackhawks
9!% (A&*E: A-) 'E2E,E!(" %nce arrested for cocaine <os session whi=e cross ing the
.etroit-Windsor border5 was Lai=ed5 s us <ended fro> the !)* # )e was ba nned fro> trave=ing with
the $ed Wings to any ga> es in
-anada for over two seas ons# )eeyyy 7 who a> ong us 7 0
E# $ ob $ ay M58TR 1IJIV8TT;
(EA," "abres5 "enators
9!% (A&*E: A-) 'E2E,E!(" $ays fighting sty=e was to re>ove his he=> et5 <ads5 and Lersey5
giving his o<<onents nothing to grab onto# (he !)* created additiona= <ena=ties for thos e who
did this5 and it beca> e known as the $ob $ay $u=e#
, '!U(E" Y EA$" P*AY E.
R# - raig 9(h e - h ief: &e ru be M51;I 1IJEV8TTM
(EA," F=yers5 ,a<=e *eafs5 F=a> es5 -a<ita=s5 's =anders
9!% (A&*E: A-)'E2E,E!(" "us<ended for one ga> e without <ay for ca==ing Peter Worre==5
one of the few African-A> ericans in the !)* 5 a 9>onkey: during an on-ice scra<# &erube hi>
se=f is a !ative A>erican# )es =ucky he didnt get sca=<ed7
J# (i> ) un ter M51;8 1IJ1V1IIR
(EA," F=a>es5 !ordiKues 5 -anucks5 "harks
9!% (A&*E: A-)'E2E,E!(" Poss ib=y the best hockey fighter of a== ti> e5 <ound-for-<ound5
and best technica= fighter5 according to hockeyfights #co>#
I# - hr is 9Kn uc k= es : !i =an M5T;M 1IRIV1II8
(EA," -anadiens 5 &ruins 5 $angers
9!% (A&*E: A-)' E2E,E!(" )o=ds the record for highest average <ena=ty > inutes <er
ga> e ?;#;8@ and sing=e-ga> e <ena=ty >inute record
J of I
?;8@#
1T# $ ick (occ he t 85IRT 1IJ;V8TT8
(EA," F=yers5 Penguins 5 Kings 5 & ruins 5 -a<ita=s 5 -oyotes
9!% (A&*E: A-)'E 2E,E!(" %ne of on=y four <=ayers in !)* history with ove r ;TT goa=s and
85TTT <e na=ty >inutes5 he <=eaded gui=ty to his invo=ve> ent in a s<orts ga> b=ing ring a=ong with a
!ew 1 ersey state troo<er and Wayne retAkys wife#
!ote that we==-known goons .ave 9(he )a>> er: "chu=tA ?the <oster boy for the 9&road "treet
&u==ies : F=yers tea> s of the 1IRTs@ is nu> ber M; on the =is t5 and "tu 9(he ri> $ea<er: ri> son
?<ossib=y the best hockey goon nickna>e ever@ is nu> ber ;1# ( o "chu=tAs credit5 he a=so owns5 by a
wide >argin5 the sing=e-season record for <ena=ty >inutes with ;R8# (o s ee thes e
guys in action5 check out You( ube#co> #
() E &E"( .%-U,E !(A$Y () A( .%E"!( ,AKE Y% U FEE * *'K E Y% U WA!( (% W
EA$ A &E$E( + ,% 2E (% F$A!-E
A!. FEA(U$E" (% %() *E"" ,E! "A2A E*Y &EA('! EA-) % ()E$ (% A PU*P W )'
*E W EA$' ! ' -E "K A( E"
(he -hiefs ?8TTH@ .irected by 1as on i=eno
You know who Wayne retAky is0 !o0 %kay5 what about & obby )u==0 !o0 1esus5 what about that
Pau= !ew> an > ovie "=a<shot then0 %kay5 thats ringing so>e be==s5 right0 A ragtag band of
hockey degenerates and their =ucky5 <=ucky story of <ugi=istic <erse verance5 sort of a &ad !ew s &ears
but ins tead of =ovab=e kids and 1 odie Fos ter5 you get tooth=ess -anadians who =ike to fight0 We==5 you
know how every fiction is based on so>e kind of rea=ity0 We==5 this is that re a=ity# And though rea=ity
(2 has <oisoned the we== of we==-turned docu> entaries5 this one does what good ones are
I of I
su<<osed to do/ sits back and fo==ows its characters through their uneC<ected=y
co><=icated =ives ?vers us =eading its 9actors : through co><=ete=y unbe=ievab=e cons@# And its
these rea= =ives that >ake this a s ort of co><e==ing =ook at hockey ?which we have a hard ti>e seeing
anyone not -anadian or =iving Wes t of the continenta= divide giving a shit about@ a rea==y co>
<e==ing =ook at co> bat# You know the o=d Loke about going to a fight and having a hockey ga>e break
out0 (he -hiefs '" that Loke5 and >ore than funny5 its a so=id technica= <ri>er on fighting on ice
skates 5 and a ce=ebration and Kuiet e> brace of the e=e>enta= nature of co> <etition5 whi=e its raw
ba==et >akes you forget that hockey is Lust about the > ost boring ga>e ever# ,ore watch-ab=e than a
biath=on5 and better fights too#
1 of H
" ' 4(EE!
' "(%%P (% -%!3UE$
- )$ ' " " A !F %$ ." F% !. $ E,' !' " E!- E %F K !% -K '! % U( EU E! E $%&' !
"% !5 &$ ' ! '! ' ! ()E .EA. P%" ( KA ($ '!A + %()E$
E!E$ A *'SE. (A *E" % F . %U &*E F' "(E. . E$$ '! -. % 7
't was =ike the Fourth of 1u=y# (here was a s i=very burst of =ight and then eas e# And Kuiet# A tre>
endous eas e# (he > at was coo= against > y face5 and as unseen hands =ifted >e u<right ' heard > ys
e=f >ur> ur# A=>ost whis<er even5 9'> okay# ' s=i<<ed# ' tri<<ed#: And because these unseen
hands now s een5 but whose owners are unknown to >e be=ieve >e5 they =et >e go5 and down ' go
again# And again theres the intrusion of hands and ' fee= =ike so>eone whos had a na< interru<ted# (
wice# And s o5 > ore forcefu==y this ti> e5 9'> fine# ' tr i<<ed#: And > y =egs are unsteady under
>e and so> eone > akes >e watch what Lust ha<<ened5 or rather5 the video of what Lus t ha<<ened5
and ' can see that 've been knocked out# %r abducted by a=iens for a== ' know# 'n any case5 ' was out#
!o > ore than ten seconds5 but c=ear=y out5 out for what fe=t =ike a =ot =onger than ten s econds#
' was in Fight -=ub "F and ' had been knocked out by a <ro5 -hris "anford# And =ater in so> e
cagefight in Fresno ' run into hi> again backstage5 i> >ediate =y before he goes out and s ub>
its with an ar>bar a cat na> ed 1ack -ardenas # And then again and again/ in *as 2egas 5 in *A5 in bars
here5 there5 and everywhere # )is na>e kee<s co> ing u< and eventua==y hes on (25 the first s
eason of (he U=ti>ate Fighter (2 s how#
!ow5 'd been knocked .%W! before but never knocked %U( 5 and of course never knocked out by
so> eone so godda> ned ubiKuitous5 and in being knocked out ' had never guessed that the first and >
ost definitive > issi=e de=ivered to the>s that wou=d have it de=ivered no other way wou=d be s o =ife-
changing# %nce youve been knocked out you fight different=y# You fight =ike so> eone who then fu==y
takes fighting now5 fina ==y and in good > easure5 s erious =y# '> not saying that you win any >ore
than you did before# '> Lust saying that youre fina==y wi==ing to die trying5 and this can >ake a== the
difference in the wor=d for so>e > en# %r for > e5 at the very =east# And s o in the na> e of c=osure5
u>5 rede> <tion5 and5 u=ti> ate=y5 revenge5 ' seek hi> out to find out if it was as good for hi> as it was
for > e#
8 of H
!ow5 did it fee= as good to knock >e out as ' think itd be for >e to knock
you out0
)e =aughs and shrugs his shou=ders 9)ey5 >an# !o# ' fe=t bad# ' didnt want to fight anybody that
night#:
&ut you knew the ru=es5 everybody had to fight#
We==5 ' had never been there before that night5 s o ' thought ' cou=d Lust watch and check it out# &ut you
ca>e over and s aid s o> ething =ike5 9-> on5 =ets fight#: And ' tried to beg off and you asked again
and5 so ' s aid5 9%kay#:
.o you re>e>ber what ha<<ened after that0
Yeah# You kicked the fuc k out of >e and thats whe n ' said 9%kay: for the s econd ti>e5 and you
ca>e in with your hands a =itt=e =ow a nd that was it#
W e==5 not to >ake any eCcuses 7 but if ' had known you were a <ro ' wou=d have been a *% ( > ore
cautious# You said you hadnt trained before#
9.id '0 ' dont re>e> ber saying that#: And he does nt s ay it but he does nt have to say it because
've a=ready s ha> ed > yse=f enough by even bringing it u<# $u=e !u>ber ;RJ/ 'f you got your ass
kicked5 do not eKuivocate around the ass - kicking#
And what did you a== do after that0
We==5 you cha==enged > e again# And ' beat you again#
You didnt knock > e out again6
!o# ' ta<<ed you out with a choke# ' fe=t bad about tha t too5 because you were in
!% s ha<e to go again5 but you ke<t cha==enging > e#
And ' cou=d re<eat this sad > ockery5 >aking sound bite after sound bite5 and itd te== you the sa> e
thing in the s a>e way5 a way that wou=d not and cou=d not be changed# Ever# ' had gotten >y ass
kicked# And then ' had gone back and got >y as s kicked again# And it wa s <retty c=ear 'd have gone
back as >any ti>es as ' cou=d to get it kicked as > any ti> es as ' cou=d before 'd give over to
the understanding that ' wasnt going to win this one#
&ut what of "anford0 Known was the fact that he had >oved into s<orts > anage> ent and had
recent=y s tarted too=ing around town in a &enA5 an eC<ensive one5 and that he had had so> e >
ortgage business or s o> e s uch thing as we==# Wou=d he be interviewed0
M of H
We going to s<end >uch ti>e ta=king about > e knocking you out0
Uh5 no# ' >ean5 whatever you want#
ood# You know what was wi=d5 though0 A== of that shit that went down in !ew
%r=eans#
' s the water so hot it is co=d5 or s o co=d it is hot0 ' >ean5 is there so>ething going on in <ost-K atrina
* ouisiana that ' had >issed0 7 You were there0
Yeah# "tee= sent > e there#
And then the sca=es started fa==ing away in big o= chunks fro> >y eyes# You s ee5 the "tee= Foundation
was =ike the defunct "and=ine ' nternationa=# %r K &$# $inging any be==s for you0 "u<<=ier of
9contractors : for cor<orate contracts # &e it in 'raK5 -entra= A>erica5 or5 ' gues s in this
instance5 s outhern states A>erica# (hey us ua==y draw their e><=oyee bas e fro> the ranks of the
for>er=y ranked/ "EA*s5 $angers 5 and so on# "anford was in the service0
U> 7
' t s igna=ed a <ause5 a <ause that ' had heard before when ' ve asked -'A guys stuff that was
<o=itica==y ino<<ortune for >e to have asked# "o ' asked it again/ Were you in the s ervice0
Yeah# ' was in the ar> y#
And they sent you to !ew % r=eans0
!o# "tee= sent >e# A== of the =arge hote=iers wanted to se cure the ir <ro<erties5 u< to and inc=uding their
e> <=oyees5 who it was fe=t >ay have been in so>e s ort of <eri=# ' >ean5 no one knew5 right0 "o ' got
the ca== and signed on# ' was su<<osed to be there for ninety days5 but after about fifteen5 ' s aid5 9"o
=ong# '> =eaving#: 't was craAy5 dude#
' thought a =ot of that so-ca==ed craAiness had been debunked as never having ha<<ened#
&u==shit# 't was sheer =unacy# We <u==ed so>e guy off of a roof# We did this eCtraction5 you know5
ra<<e= in and we get this foo= and hes shooting at rescue workers and s o we get hi> and ' asked hi> 5
9Why the fuck were you shooting at the rescue workers0: And you know what he said to > e0
9&ecause they had a green boat#: A $EE! &%A(# (his is not what was written about#
; of H
' snt it =ove=y what ha<<ens when the o=d =aws and then even convention cease having any sort of >
eaning any> ore0
Actua==y5 no# 'ts not# 't was fucked u<# ' was ()E$E at the "u<erdo> e and ' saw credib=e <roof of
instances where one wo> an had been ra<ed severa= ti> es# ' was watching the> stack bodies# We were
drawing and returning fire 7 fighting fro> b=ock to b=ock 7
W hat0 Who0 )ow0
)e shrugged his shou=ders s =ow=y# 9We never knew# And here s so> ething e=se that wasnt re<orted5
and thats that whi=e we were tota==y vested u<5 ar>ed5 and eKui<<ed5 we werent the on=y ones there# '
re >e> ber once we ca> e across these guys =ifting =uCury cars off of one of our <arking =ots and '
go u< and say5
OECcuse > e# What are you guys doing0 And right away theyre drawing on >e and > y guys are
drawing on the> and '> =ike OWhoa5 whoa5 wait5 we dont need to fight# We Lus t need to see so> e
'.# And they showed us s o> ething and 7:
W ho were they0
9( hey were co<s#: And he s> i=ed# 9)ey# ' dont know# (hey said they were afraid =ooters were
going to get their cars5 or so>ething5 so they were =oading the> onto s o> e co> >andeered truck# &ut
there were =ike gangs# angs of guys outside of the rando> craAies# $ando> craAies dont stea=
fork=ifts5 okay# ( hey s hoot green boats# Fork=ifts were sto=en to yank u< security gates# un stores
were e><ty# &ut gangs Lust descended on the city fro> ,ississi< ore than the beer they were showing you on (2# We
H of H
chased so>e 2ietna> vet through the ha==s of one of the hote=s we were securing# 't was fu==-on $a>bo
s hit# )e had gotten one of our radios and gotten on our channe= and so he was one ste< ahead of us
a=ways# &es ides5 we knew he knew s o> e s hit because he was > aking no > istakes when we were >
aking swee<s#:
) owd you know he was a vet0
We==5 we found his diary at one <oint# And '( was craAy# And fu== of craAy shit# We never caught hi>5
though# )e was good#
"o5 it sounds s ort of =ike > erc heaven# W hyd you =eave0
9' cou=d >ake Z1JTK eas i=y going to 'raK right now5 but '> not too interested in doing that5 either#
*ifes too s hort and the fight ga>es kee<ing > e busy here and s ooo 7 : )e trai=s off# 9&ut ' =eft
!ew %r=eans because there was no way it was going to be contro==ed# ' had shit for =oca= s taff# ' to=d
one guy to do so>ething and he to=d > e5 OWhere '> fro> in ,iss is si<<i5 we dont have u<<ity
niggers ta=king to good white fo=ks =ike that# Kee< in > ind5 as his boss ' had asked hi> s o> ething
rea= basic/ OP=ease wake u< and do your Lob# ' had guys <osing with high-<owered firear>s on the to<
of cars# (here was Lus t no way to contro= the <=ace and there was no s ign at a== that there wou=d be# "o
you get tired of having the bad guys shooting at you5 the good guys shooting at you5 and the craAy guys
s hooting at you# "o fuck that# ' =eft# "tee= was <retty unha<<y with > e5 but ' was <retty ha<<y to be
out of there#:
We were standing at a =oca= cage-fight event5 > ore vis ib=e now since -a =ifornias ath=etic co>>
ission okayed > iCed >artia= arts s<orting events statewide# (he PA was <ing that kind of
generic angry-guy > us ic thats the <er<etua= s oundtrack for > onster truck events 5 whi=e high-
channe=ed ginch f=owed by on hee=s with either too >uch5 or the wrong kind of5 attitude# .a>ien
!oorkabash5 -E % of fightwear gear co> <any KonLo was there5 "a= $usso fro> -esar racies fight
tea> was there5 and so>eone fina==y s aid5 a>id ta=k of > atchu<s5 re> atches 5 and <otentia= > atches5
9Ah5 these== be so>e good fights#:
Undoubted=y#

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Ass+

Загружено:

Сведения о документе

Оригинальное название

Авторское право

Доступные форматы

Поделиться этим документом

Поделиться или встроить документ

Параметры публикации

Этот документ был вам полезен?

Это неприемлемый материал?

Авторское право:

Доступные форматы

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Ass+

Загружено:

Авторское право:

Доступные форматы

Fi ght - Everyt hi ng You Ever Want ed t o Know About Ass-Ki cki ng Pa ge 1 of 1

Вам также может понравиться