Page 1 of 8

Corrupt Publications


Missions &
Mayhem...

Page 2

Shattered Fragments
Of Ones Mind

Page 4

The Dardy Shardy
Review

Page 5

Fuckhead Friday

Page 8


it is someone who is
always there for you
to keep you
safe from danger...

So now when you hear
the sound of thunder
there is no need to
get scared just grab
your Thunder Buddy &
say these magic words

fuck you thunder you
can suck my dick
you cant get me thunder
because youre just Gods
farts



Corrupt Publications
Have you got yours?!?!...

As the cold weather
settles in & seeps
through our bones many
people are looking for
their Thunder
Buddy...

thunder buddies for
life...

A Thunder Buddy is
friend or object that
you keep close when
you are nervous
about a certain
situation that
frightens you...

Wicked Words
Corrupt Publications"...
The newsletter dedicated to keeping you up to
date on all things Legendary!!
This Issue
If the people you have grown fond of &
rely on abandon you then they have

thrown you to the wolves

The wolves will never lose any sleep
worrying about hurting the feelings of the
sheep

that they
outnumber
the wolves"...

but no one ever
told the sheep


Be careful
For if you throw someone to the wolves they
may just return...
LEADING the pack!!

Thunder Buddies...

Issue 1 6th August 2014

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6
st
August 2014


















July 26 was a night to remember for manufacturing
company BIC as the company celebrated two major wins
with Product of the Year & Working for your Crackhead

Winning these awards is a fantastic achievement for BIC especially in todays
challenging climate... the awards acknowledge the companys continued growth,
creation of new jobs, new innovations & expansion into new markets... BIC is
the company that goes the extra mile in supporting the local community,
demonstrating a great can do attitude & team spirit...

it was a happy day for Bogans everywhere


Otherwise known as the Oscars of the methamphetamine world these awards
recognize product innovation & outstanding talent within the industry...
The award was presented by celebrity crackhead Trent from Punchy

Thanks BIC!!... for making pens that I can use as a scoop
& for lighters that dont explode when I smoke my crack

Missions & Mayhem
A recommendation of useful ideas for your pursuit of mischief
BIC Wins by a Landslide

Why not make it an all
night wig & treat
yourself to
Gnomesville at night
time
dont forget the
torch

While the weather is
gloomy it makes outdoor
missions a bit difficult

However UNO is a great
activity that is gentle on
the fragile brain

Hours can be passed in the
blink of an eye playing
this good old fashioned
card game

"you will never really
know someone until you
play UNO with them &
the motherfucker hits
you with a draw four"





Burning Black Boys is
a great winter
favourite & pastime for
all Wiggers

So load up the esky &
the 4x4 because mayhem
& adventure awaits

Bonfires are a
really a Bogan
nightclub

Mushie season is upon
us so dont miss out on
the goodness provided
for FREE down in the
forests of Balingup


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Corrupt Publications











The Honey
Badger
The Chuck Norris of the animal kingdom no bigger or faster animal ever gives the
Honey Badger crap... If they did that animal wouldn't have the chance to regret it...

The Honey Badger is
listed in the Guinness
Book of World Records
as the most fearless
creature in the
world...

They are the ultimate
badass of the animal
kingdom...

They steal food from
much bigger animals
like leopards & even
attack & eat poisonous
snakes...

When a Honey Badger is
bit by one of the most
venomous snakes in the
world...

A Puff Adder...

They will pass out for
a few minutes, wake up
all pissed off &
proceed to eat the said
snake...

the most fearless
animal in the world...

They dont think twice
about starting shit...
when they kill
something they crack
open their victims
skull with their teeth
& eat their brain &
digest their
thoughts...
Honey Badger don't
give a shit...

Honey Badger don't
care, he takes what he
wants...
he just eats roots &
leaves...





Famous Honey Badgers

Australian Wallabies
rugby player Nick
Cummins nickname is
"Honey Badger"...

A honey badger
appears in the 1989
film The Gods Must Be
Crazy II...
Honey Badgers have very
tough skin... their
skin is thick &
impervious to arrows &
spears... even a blow
from a machete wont
scratch their skin...

Honey Badgers
regularly eat bee
larvae even though
they get stung
over 9000 times

Honey Badgers & The
Greater Honey Guide
have a unique
relationship... the
little bird leads a
Honey Badger to a
beehive & then waits
for the Honey Badger to
open up the hive &
eat the honey & bee
larvae...

Once the Honey Badger
leaves the hive The
Greater Honey Guide
will then feed on the
remaining beeswax...

When there are no bee
larvae the Honey Badger
will hunt a variety of
other animals including
porcupines, insects,
meerkats, snakes, young
gazelles, tortoises,
frogs & even small
crocodiles... they will
also eat fruit &
vegetables such as
berries, roots &
bulbs...




Page 4 of 8

6
st
August 2014






On This Day


On This Day August 6th

1915 - Gallipoli starts with
"The Battle of Lone Pine"...
Seven Australians receive Victoria
Crosses

1945 - The first atomic bomb was dropped
on Hiroshima
The explosion was equal to 20,000 tons of
TNT



Shattered Fragments of
Ones Mind

As the night grew dark he liked to make
mischief of one kind or another because
he thought himself to be a WILD
THING...

One night a forest grew before him...
it grew & grew until it became the
world around him... nearby an ocean
tumbled & on it was a private boat just
for him...

He sailed off through night & day, in &
out of weeks & almost over a year to
where the wild things were...

When he came to the place where the
wild things were they roared their
terrible roars & gnashed their terrible
teeth & rolled their terrible eyes &
showed their terrible claws until he
said BE STILL...

He stared into all their yellow eyes
without blinking once & they were
frightened & called him the wildest
thing of all & made him the king of all
wild things...

& now he cried let the adventure
begin...

After a time he realized being wild &
constant adventuring wasnt nearly as
much fun as he thought it would be & he
the king of all wild things was lonely
& wanted to be where someone loved him
most of all...so he decided to give up
being king of where the wild things
were...

However the wild things cried, Oh
please dont go well eat you up, we
love you so... & even though it was
terrible hard he stayed strong & said
No Ive got to go!!...

The wild things roared their terrible
roars & gnashed their terrible teeth &
rolled their terrible eyes & showed
their terrible claws as he stepped into
his private boat & waved good-bye &
sailed back over a year & in & out of
weeks & through a day & back into
reality...

It is very tiring being king of the
wild things so he decided his next
adventure would be in the land of sleep
& dreams...

07.08.2014 - Check the batteries in your
"Wigger's" Torch

09.08.1969 - Eric Bana celebrates his
45th Birthday today...
Eric was most famous for his role as
Mark "Chopper" Reid

12.08.1908 - The first Model T Ford was
built...
Star Sign

If Leos were a drug they would be
COCAINE

They can feel on top of the world or
invincible one minute & then the next they
just want to be left alone...
It can be very difficult to change the
opinions of a Leo as they are known to be
Egotistical Douchebags

Wat Now Cunts
Important Dates to Remember

Page 5 of 8

Corrupt Publications



this was not doing the trick
as some of the gel had found
its way up the chutney
channel & it felt like the
space shuttle was running its
engines behind me

This was hopefully the only
time in my life I was going to
wish there was a gay snowman i
n the kitchen

Which should give you some
idea of the depths I was
willing to sink to in order
to ease the pain

The only solution my pain
crazed mind could come up
with was to

gently ease one of the
sprouts where no veg had gone
before

Unfortunately... alerted by
the strange grunts coming
from the kitchen the other
half chose that moment to
come & investigate & was
greeted by the sight of me...
arse in the air...

strawberry ice cream
dripping from my bell end
pushing a sprout up my arse
while muttering... "oooh that
feels good "...

Understandably this was a
shock to her & she let out a
scream & as I hadn't heard
her come in it caused an
involuntary spasm of shock in
myself which resulted in the
sprout being ejected at quite
some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having
a sprout farted against your
leg at 11 at night in the
kitchen probably wasn't the
special surprise she was
expecting
So to sum it up Veet" removes
hair, dignity & self respect...

This is a really review for: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Crme
it is still one of the funniest things I have ever read!!

After having been told my danglies looked like an
elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge &
buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had
only been mildly successful & I nearly put my back
out trying to reach the more difficult bits

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the
deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat. I
ordered it well in advance & working in the North
Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the
characters writing the previous reviews & wrote them
off as soft office types

oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was

I waited until the other half was tucked up in
bed & after giving some vague hints about a
special surprise I went down to the bathroom.
Initially all went well & I applied the gel &
stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't
have long to wait At first there was gentle
warmth which in a matter of seconds was
replaced by an intense burning & a feeling I
can only describe as like

being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent
on hitting the ceiling with my head

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that
night but I suddenly became willing to convert to
any religion to stop the violent burning around the
turd tunnel & what seemed like the destruction of
the meat & two veg struggling to not bite through my
bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink &
only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat
of hair through the haze of tears I struggled out
of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by
this time walking was not really possible & I
crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of
some form of cold relief I yanked the freezer
drawer out & found a tub of ice cream; tore the lid
off & positioned it under me the relief was
fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly
quickly & the fiery stabbing soon returned

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't
managed to give the starfish any treatment & I
groped around in the drawer for something else as I
was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon I
grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen
sprouts & tore it open trying to be quiet as I did
so I took a handful of them & tried in vain to
clench some between the cheeks of my arse





The Dardy Shardy Review

Page 6 of 8

6
st
August 2014






















THE FIERCE BATTLE FOR LOYALTY RAGES ON

We seem to be stuck
in a time where
loyalty is just a
quote & self-
centeredness rules.
It appears in most
relationships &
endeavors now days
that the sole
objective is personal
gain.

disloyalty is almost
guaranteed...

Do people even know
what the definition
of loyalty is
anymore??

Loyalty is about
putting others before
yourself, standing
beside those you care
about through not
just the good times
but more importantly
through the rough
patches. It is easy
for people to care
about you when the
sun is shining

However it is during
the storms that you
learn who really
cares about you...

Loyalty is about
showing your
commitment to your
family & treating
others how you would
like to be treated.

Family isn't always
about whose DNA has
recombined with
whose. Sometimes it
is the family you
were born into &
sometimes it is the
one you chose for
yourself.

Family are the people
in your life who want
you in theirs, the
people who accept you
for who you are, the
people who stand
beside you without
flinching & who will
love you no matter
what.
we put the FUN into
dysfunctional...


There are days when
you love them & days
when you will dislike
them but in the end
they are the people
you will always come
home too...

Loyalty & family have
been regarded as
important traits for
centuries. Even the
gods believed highly
in these values,
Greek mythology is
littered with the
importance of these
ideals.
However one must be
careful that their
loyalty isn't being
abused... you need to
make sure that
everybody in your
"boat
is rowing in the
same direction & not
drilling holes in the
bottom while you're
not looking!!


Getting into the habit
of saving your
used glass jars &
the lids could
also save your
alcohol

Use the jars & lids
as cups while you
are out on your wigging
adventures to stop
spills

Salubrious Ideas
In the case of emergency or
shit cunts breaking the
glassware & you need to
make a globey but only
have frosted globes



Swirl some rock salt around on the
inside of the globe to remove the
frosted coating


Page 7 of 8

Corrupt Publications






that something stupid that pops into your head usually right
before you get hurt




Bear Grylls Born Shit
Eater



Ronald McDonald Chicken
Store Massacre



Breaking the Barrier


Song of the Week
Get Lucky Daft Punk

Send in a video of you dancing to our song of the week to win the coveted title of King of the
Castle

Like the legend of
the Phoenix All ends
with beginnings What
keeps the planets
spinning

The force from the
beginning





We've come too far to
give up who we areSo
let's raise the bar &
our cups to the stars

We're up all night to
the sun


We're up all night to get
some

We're up all night for good
fun
We're up all night to get
lucky

Top 3 YouTube Clips

Gerbilling Mishap Injures
Two...

"In retrospect, lighting
the match was my big
mistake but I was only
trying to retrieve the
gerbil" Eric Tomaszewski
told bemused doctors in
the Severe Burns Unit of
Salt Lake City
Hospital...

Tomaszewski & his
homosexual partner
Andrew "Kiki" Farnum had
been admitted for
emergency treatment
after a felching session
had gone seriously
wrong...
"I pushed a cardboard tube
up his rectum & slipped
Raggot, our gerbil in" he
explained...
As usual Kiki shouted
out.. "Armageddon" my cue
that he'd had enough... I
tried to retrieve Raggot
but he wouldn't come out
again, so I peered into
the tube & struck a match
thinking the light might
attract him"...

At a hushed press
conference a hospital
spokesman described what
happened next...
"The match ignited a pocket of
intestinal gas & a flame shot
out the tubing igniting Mr.
Tomaszewski hair & severely
burning his face... It also set
fire to the gerbil's fur &
whiskers which in turn ignited
a larger pocket of gas further
up the intestine propelling the
rodent out like a
cannonball"...

Tomaszewski suffered second
degree burns & a broken nose
from the impact of the
gerbil... while Farnum suffered
first & second degree burns to
his anus & lower intestinal
tract...


HOLD MY BEER & WATCH THIS SHIT!!

Page 8 of 8

6
st
August 2014

























And the Winner Is
Shit Drivers!!

Fuckhead Friday
Fuckhead Friday

The question that has
had scientists &
researchers baffled for
decades has finally
been answered

While many have
attempted to find the
answer none have
succeeded that is up
until now


How many white people
does it take to screw in
a light globe??...
None
They are too busy
smoking meth out of it!!
Age Old Question Finally Answered

A woman almost bit off her husband's
penis as he cooked pancakes for tea
while she gave him oral sex...

In the heat of passion he lost his grip on the pan & spilt boiling oil down her back... she clenched her teeth on
his penis & in agony he bashed her on the head with the pan... both only admitted how they received their
injuries after intense questioning by the hospital doctors in Carioca, Romania...
The man needed treatment to his penis while the wife had burns, two black eyes & a broken cheek bone...
So the moral of the story here folks is don't mix business with pleasure!!

Insult of the Week
Your nickname should be
Thrush

Because you really are
an irritating cunt!!




Teatime Love
Bite...