EDGEWOOD PILOT

Written by
Ari Dardel
whatsuparia@yahoo.com
EXT. EDGEWOOD HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
SUM 41 - THE HELL SONG PLAYS AS...
CAMERON P.O.V. - THE NEW GIRL
Walks out of the back seat of a blue Honda Civic and grabs
her backpack. She watches the car drive off and then takes a
look around as she slowly makes her way through the parking
lot.
A SENIOR GIRL, 17, stands behind her white convertible
putting lipstick on, wearing a grey gym shirt. She throws the
lipstick into her purse and reaches for a white collard
shirt. She throws off her gym shirt, revealing a black bra
and quickly puts the collard shirt on.
Two SOPHOMORE BOYS, 16, pass a large fast food cup back and
forth as they take sips and wince from the alcohol.
Outside the doors that lead inside stands a tall JOCK LOOKING
STUDENT, 17, with a textbook open explaining something to a
SKINNY NERD LOOKING STUDENT, 17.
THROUGH THE LOBBY DOOR INTO
INT. EDGEWOOD HIGH SCHOOL - CONTINUED
MR. MATT, 37, holding a cup of coffee rolls his eyes as MISS
PARKER, 42, chubby with short red hair skips past him way too
energetically.
He turns and almost bumps into our eyes, nods his head
awkwardly and gets out of the way.
ENTER THE FRONT OFFICE and PAN OUT TO REVEAL:
CAMERON, 15, dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes with a
very shy smile handing a school schedule to MARTHA, 53,
working the reception desk.
From behind Martha, MR. CONNORS, 41, can be seen closing his
door as Cameron watches.
INT. PRINCIPALS OFFICE - DAY
TITLE CARD - 7:45 / Before School.
PETER, 15, with hair gelled to look messy and wrinkled
clothes sits slouched back in a chair facing Mr. Connors.
Next to Peter on Mr. Connors desk is a giant tupperware box.
MR. CONNORS
Were gonna put you back on
academic probation.
Peter sits up.
PETER
I got off that last quarter.
MR. CONNORS
And your grades and conduct have
slipped drastically in the mere
three weeks this new ones started.
If you want me to baby you, I
wont, but push you I will.
Mr. Connors shakes his head.
MR. CONNORS (CONTD)
Your G.P.A. Was 2.7 last quarter
while you were on probation. The
quarter before that you had a 1.6.
Thats a gigantic leap and why?
Because you had the faculty on your
ass, reporting to your parents on a
weekly basis the exact detail of
every decision you made as a
student. You were trapped into
actually applying yourself and it
paid off. I know how students like
you think... You convince
yourselves that its you, but in a
defensive way like youre doing
your very best and youre simply
not able to, like most others,
retain what youre taught.
PETER
Thats exactly it though.
MR. CONNORS
(Loud)
No, its not!
Mr. Connors composes himself and SIGHS.
MR. CONNORS (CONTD)
2.7. Peter. Cut the bull shit and
grow up.
Peter stares blankly at the floor.
2.
MR. CONNORS
Youre a cool kid, right? You make
everybody, including the teachers
laugh... You have a good heart...
Its a small school and like the
show Cheers everybody knows your
name.
(Beat)
Everybody knows everybody.
Everybody knows everybody and there
is an unspoken hierarchy amongst
the student body and you are one of
the top dogs, but guess what? This
connection, this dynamic where you
feel responsible to impress them
all each and every day by pushing
the rules as far as they can go,
something you for some reason
prioritize over your grades and
your future, does not come with
permanent glory. In three years
when youre done here, if you make
it that far, and thats no threat
cause contrary to what you may
think I actually do like you,
nobody is going to remember what
you said that day in class that had
everybody laughing so hard tears
were streaming down their faces.
Nobody is going to remember that
cool thing you did that set you
apart from everybody else. After
high school nobody gives a damn
about that kind of stuff and youll
realize it was all for nothing. You
know what isnt all for nothing?
Education. Education is something
youll carry with you until the day
you die. Friendships fade but
education sticks.
PETER
I understand what youre saying but
can you consider giving me one more
chance before youre completely
sold on putting me back on
probation? Granted I know theres
exceptions to everything, I also
know placing somebody on Academic
probation in the middle of a
quarter because their grades are
slipping is not how Academic
probation works.
3.
(MORE)
Negatively speaking, you have to
earn that weekly paper from hell by
what your report card dictates and
not by what your future report card
is currently shaping up to be at
present time. Mr. Connors, its
like I could die in a car accident
on my way home from school today.
Am I going to? Most likely not, but
statistics show people die in car
accidents every day so it is
possible. When I get my next report
card my G.P.A. could fall below
2.0. Is it going to?
MR. CONNORS
Most likely, yes.
PETER
Okay, I could have maybe used an
analogy more probable to my
argument but I think you get my
point.
MR. CONNORS
And I think you miss mine.
Mr. Connor leans back.
MR. CONNORS (CONTD)
At the risk of knocking you, I am
so confident that you will blow
that one more chance faster than
I can blink Ill take you up on it.
One more disruption that leads you
here nervously asking me how Im
doing and you are back on probation
for the remainder of the quarter.
PETER
Hey, thats all Im asking for.
MR. CONNORS
Well thats all youre gonna get.
Ill be seeing you soon.
Peter stands up and grabs his container.
MR. CONNORS (CONTD)
Whats with the tupperware?
PETER
Macaroni and Cheese.
4.
PETER (CONT'D)
MR. CONNORS
Im not even gonna ask...
Peter walks away.
INT. SCHOOL LOBBY - DAY
Peter exits the office holding on to his giant container. He
walks over to Mr. Matt and knocks on the tupperware lid.
MR. MATT
Whats up?
PETER
Can you store this in the fridge in
the Teachers Lounge for me till
lunch time?
Mr. Matt examines the container for a moment, skeptical.
Peter rolls his eyes.
PETER (CONTD)
Its not a bomb. Its macaroni and
cheese.
MR. MATT
I know its not a bomb... Why do
you have such a large batch of
macaroni and cheese?
PETER
Its for lunch, okay?
MR. MATT
Youre gonna eat all that for
lunch?
PETER
Were having a feast...
MR. MATT
A feast?
PETER
A feast, yes.
MR. MATT
Just this once. Dont make a habit
out of asking me to do stupid shit
for you though.
PETER
Thank you.
5.
MR. MATT
Did you do your Music Appreciation
homework?
PETER
Of course.
MR. MATT
Please do it.
PETER
I just told you I did.
MR. MATT
Its a small essay on Mozart. Im
not asking for much.
PETER
Ill do it.
Mr. Matt gives him a I dont quite believe you look.
PETER (CONTD)
Ill do it at lunch, okay?
Mr. Matt starts backing up and nodding his head, latched on
to the container of macaroni and cheese.
MR. MATT
Ill see you seventh period.
He bumps into Miss Parker as he stares Peter down, nearly
dropping the container while miss Parker loses her grip on a
bunch of papers and they scatter everywhere.
Mr. Matt bends down and begins helping her retrieve them all.
MISS PARKER
Fudge!
He gives her a youre so weird look.
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
ANDREW, 15 and KATIE, 15 are seated on the surface of a blue
lunch table. Peter enters and makes his way over to them.
Katie is tall, her clothes are a bit baggy and she doesnt
wear make up. Shes still very attractive though. Andrew is
chubby but built.
6.
ANDREW
(To Peter)
Hey, which one is better...
Face/Off or 8MM?
PETER
8MM. Thats a fact.
ANDREW
(To Katie)
I told you.
Katie rolls her eyes.
KATIE
Thats an opinion, not a fact.
PETER
You like Face/Off more than 8MM?
KATIE
I like neither, but if I had to
pick one Id go with Face/Off.
Andrews been on a Nic Cage kick
lately and hes dragged me into it
against my will. Have you ever been
raped by Nicholas Cage? Its not
fun.
PETER
Well, I definitely agree neither
are anything to write home about
but at least in 8MM you get
Phoenix.
KATIE
Yeah, but I didnt like him in that
movie. There was something about
him that made me feel really
uncomfortable.
ANDREW
Thats called good writing, okay?
KATIE
No, cause it wasnt good
uncomfortable. It was just awkward
and cringing. It made me feel
all... I dont know.
ANDREW
(To Katie)
Hey, earmuffs...
7.
He covers her ears with his hands.
ANDREW (CONTD)
(To Peter)
You see the new girl? Hot as
hell... Our grade too I heard.
Katie throws Andrews hands off of her and punches his arm
extremely hard. Andrew sarcastically drops his mouth in shock
and LAUGHS.
ANDREW (CONTD)
What?!
KATIE
Jerk!
ANDREW
Why?!
KATIE
You can binge watch the rest of
your Nicholas Cage films all by
yourself.
She walks away. Andrew shakes his head with a smile and rubs
his arm.
ANDREW
Bitch.
Katie rushes back like a lion ready to pounce on its prey.
ANDREW (CONTD)
No, I was kidding!
Katie clenches her fist.
ANDREW (CONTD)
I was kidding!
She punches him even harder than before in the same spot.
ANDREW (CONTD)
Ouch! God dammit...
She walks away LAUGHING.
PETER
(Laughing)
You want a cigarette before home
room?
Andrew rubs his arm again.
8.
ANDREW
I do now, yeah.
The first bell RINGS.
ANDREW (CONTD)
Shit, lets hurry.
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
A room full of rowdy students. MISS HENDERSON, 38, sits at
her desk, texting somebody from her phone.
MISS HENDERSON
Four minute warning!
Cameron walks in holding a schedule, followed by Katie. She
looks very timid.
MISS HENDERSON (CONTD)
Hi, Cameron, right?
CAMERON
Yeah, nice to meet you.
MISS HENDERSON
You too! Im Miss Henderson. You
can sit anywhere youd like.
DAN, 15, looks on from the back with an impressed smile and
slaps BRYAN, 15, in the chest extremely hard without taking
his eyes off of her. Next to them is Katie and two empty
desks.
She places her backpack in one of the empty desks and her
binder on top of the other.
BRYAN
(In pain, laughing)
Dammit, dude. What the hell?
DAN
That girl though!
Dan WHISTLES loudly at Cameron. She blushes and Miss
Henderson looks on agitated.
MISS HENDERSON
Not cool, Dan! Come on...
Katie LAUGHS and rolls her eyes. Dan mean mugs her.
9.
DAN
What are you rolling your eyes for?
KATIE
Youre a pig!
DAN
You wanna get slapped too?!
MISS HENDERSON
Dan, that isnt funny.
KATIE
He knows if he slaps me Ill kick
his ass.
MISS HENDERSON
Can we all just please relax? I
know its Monday...
DAN
It aint Sunday.
Everybody LAUGHS.
EXT. SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
Peter and Andrew smoke cigarettes in a small pitiful excuse
for a football field just right of the actual campus itself.
ANDREW
You wanna hear something funny?
Peter nods and takes a drag.
ANDREW (CONTD)
I hate Nicholas Cage. Like I
fucking cant stand the guy, but
Katie probably hates him even more
and she loves me, and I know that
if its something she really thinks
Im into shell be supportive no
matter the amount of reluctance she
may have. Ive literally forced so
many Nicholas Cage movie on her for
the past two weeks just to drive
her insane.
PETER
Dude, just beat the shit out of her
instead. I feel like that would be
way less over the line.
10.
Andrew smiles and shakes his head.
ANDREW
Next up is The Family Man.
PETER
That is so bitch...
Off in the distance stands MISS TAMARA, 41, arms crossed,
smiling ear to ear as she watches Andrew and Peter smoke.
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - CONTINUED
The second bell RINGS.
TITLE CARD - First Period English / 8:15 A.M.
Miss Henderson CLAPS to get her students attention and
approaches the front of the room.
MISS HENDERSON
Okay, phones away and mouths zipped
shut. Before we call roll, we have
a new student joining us today. Her
names Cameron.
DAN
If it isnt, it should be.
MISS HENDERSON
I trust you guys will treat her
with the same respect you do each
other.
DAN
So, none?
The class LAUGHS.
MISS HENDERSON
Is it seriously going to be one of
those mornings? Are we trying to
impress the new kid with how
rowdy we can be?
KATIE
They really dont treat people with
respect, Miss H. Especially girls.
DAN
Yeah? Then why do you sit with us
at lunch?
11.
KATIE
Cause Im dating your friend, you
retard.
(Laughing)
And you make me feel smarter.
Cameron CHUCKLES.
DAN
(To Katie)
Thats funny, cause youre dumb as
hell.
The door opens and miss Tamara lets herself in with a smile.
Miss Henderson smiles back, happy to see her.
MISS TAMARA
I hope Im not interrupting
anything super important...
MISS HENDERSON
No, not at all. Come on in.
(To Cameron; Eyes on Dan)
Cameron, Miss Tamara is the
schools disciplinary leader.
MISS TAMARA
How are the knuckleheads treating
you so far?
MISS HENDERSON
Lets just say some of them may be
coming to your office to say good
morning pretty soon.
MISS TAMARA
Is that right?
DAN
Ill just save myself the trip and
say it now... Good morning.
MISS TAMARA
(To Miss Henderson)
Speaking of knuckleheads, are you
missing a couple of them?
Miss Henderson takes a quick glance around.
MISS HENDERSON
(Fake british accent)
It appears I am, yes.
(Normal)
12.
(MORE)
Im pretty sure thats a detention
for Peter.
MALLORY, 15, blonde and gorgeous rolls her eyes with a smile.
MALLORY
Andrew too. Thats number four this
month.
MISS TAMARA
Well regardless, youll be sending
both of them to me anyway. Theyre
smoking cigarettes in the football
field.
MALLORY
That is so gross...
MISS HENDERSON
(To Miss Tamara)
In the open like that, for real?
MISS TAMARA
You know, Im pretty sure they
assume that because the football
field is off to the right and not
directly behind the campus theyre
invisible. Ill let you get back to
teaching though, sorry.
Miss Tamara waves bye to Cameron as she goes to leave.
MISS TAMARA (CONTD)
Welcome to Edgewood.
She leaves.
EXT. SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
Peter and Andrew put out their cigarettes.
PETER
One more?
ANDREW
Were already late.
PETER
Exactly. Thats a tardy detention
for me so I might as well make the
most of it.
13.
MISS HENDERSON (CONT'D)
ANDREW
(Realizing)
Shit, me too I think.
PETER
We should smoke one more then.
Its like youre Jeff Goldbum and
Im Will Smith in independence day,
when theyre in the plane thats
inside the UFO thing smoking one
last cigar.
ANDREW
We should go back.
Peter puts the pack of cigarettes into his pocket and the two
walk towards the campus.
ANDREW (CONTD)
How do you get cigarettes anyway?
PETER
When I have the money I have my mom
pull into the gas station in the
morning so I can get gum. I go
in, hand the guy ten dollars for a
five dollar pack of smokes and tell
him to keep the change cause Im
running late for work.
ANDREW
Shut up.
PETER
I mean he knows. Hes not stupid.
He smiles every time like he gets
it, you know?
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - CONTINUED
Miss Henderson crosses her arms with a plotting smile.
MISS HENDERSON
Alright, you guys want to play a
game?
DAN
Hell yeah.
MISS HENDERSON
Okay, what excuse do you think
theyll give for being late?
14.
(MORE)
The person closest to being right
will receive a homework pass.
KYLE, 15, a black skinny kid shakes his head and LAUGHS.
KYLE
Theyll say they were in the
bathroom... Watch.
RYAN, 15, shakes his head no.
RYAN
No, they were in the computer lab
printing out their homework. Bonus
detail, you ready? The printer
jammed and they had to wait for it
to be fixed.
MALLORY
You were closer than Kyle, but
youre both wrong. These guys are
idiots, okay? Theyre going to say
they were doing something really
respectable.
KYLE
Thats not vague at all...
MALLORY
Its not specific enough to say
they were doing a good deed? Like,
their reason will make you want to
congratulate them.
MISS HENDERSON
Ill take that.
Peter and Andrew let themselves in, surrounded by a class
full of students trying their very best to hold laughter in.
Cameron watches, ready to burst out laughing.
MISS HENDERSON (CONTD)
And where were you guys?
PETER
This kid, man...
Mallory has a shit eating grin on her face.
PETER (CONTD)
He couldnt get his locker open. He
must have been in the sixth grade
he was so small. We had to help him
out.
15.
MISS HENDERSON (CONT'D)
ANDREW
He was freaking out bad.
The entire class ERUPTS into LAUGHTER. Peter and Andrew stare
them all down like theyre crazy.
PETER
What is so funny?
Miss Henderson goes over to her desk, pulls out three forms
and begins writing on them.
PETER (CONTD)
Whats that?
She finishes and approaches Peter and Andrew holding the
detention slips out for them to grab. They do, very confused.
PETER (CONTD)
If you want to give us tardy
detention for helping out some
crying kid, so be it.
Miss Henderson turns to Mallory and hands her a homework
pass.
MISS HENDERSON
Heres your homework pass.
MALLORY
Thank you.
PETER
Why does she get a homework pass?
MALLORY
For accurately guessing what excuse
you two idiots would give for being
late.
PETER
What?
MISS HENDERSON
Read the detention slip.
Peter and Andrew look it over. Andrew turns ghost white with
fear and Peter, beat red with anger.
PETER
Whoa, we were not smoking, Miss
Henderson, come on.
16.
MISS HENDERSON
Go... Miss Tamara is waiting.
PETER
Wait, lets be rational here, okay?
I mean we got a vocab test. We
cant miss a vocab test, especially
one I actually studied for.
MALLORY
Its Monday, dumb ass. Honors takes
vocab tests on Monday. We take them
on Tuesdays.
PETER
(To Miss Henderson)
Youre not gonna write her up for
calling me a dumb ass?
MISS HENDERSON
Oh, please... If I wrote each of
you up every time you said a bad
word Id start getting threats from
Lorax for killing so many trees.
INT. SCHOOL LOBBY - DAY
Peter and Andrew sit on a couch outside of Miss Tamaras
office.
ANDREW
(Whispering)
My mom doesnt know I smoke.
PETER
Thats not what youre gonna tell
Miss Tamara though, now is it?
Andrew shakes his head. Its silent for a moment until they
both LAUGH.
Miss Tamara walks up to them with a wide smile, holding a
water bottle.
MISS TAMARA
Gentlemen! Come on in.
They follow her into her office.
17.
INT. MISS TAMARAS OFFICE - DAY
Peter and Andrew are seated in front of Miss Tamaras desk.
She sips her water and leans back.
MISS TAMARA
So, do your parents know you smoke?
PETER & ANDREW
Yes.
MISS TAMARA
Really? As somebody who knows both
your mothers very well, I highly
doubt that for some reason.
PETER
With all due respect, you couldnt
possibly know our moms more than we
do, right?
MISS TAMARA
Thats a very good point, Peter.
Andrew smiles awkwardly.
MISS TAMARA (CONTD)
Ill tell you what... First off,
hand me the cigarettes. Lighters
too.
Peter hands her his cigarettes and lighter.
ANDREW
I dont have a lighter.
Miss Tamara holds the cigarette pack up and examines it.
MISS TAMARA
I was going to break each cigarette
one at a time and toss the lighter
in the trash, but that wouldnt be
fair of me considering your parents
know and accept that you smoke.
Heres what Im prepared to do...
Im going to simply set these
aside, call your parents and have
them pick these items up and do
with them as they please. Since
they know you smoke theyll
probably just hand them back to you
and youll puffing again in no
time.
18.
ANDREW
Time out. My mom does not know I
smoke.
MISS TAMARA
(Fake shock)
What?!
Peter stares Andrew down like hes a traitor.
ANDREW
(To Peter)
Dont even look at me like that.
MISS TAMARA
Is there a problem with how you
think Im handling this, Peter?
PETER
No mam.
MISS TAMARA
Are you sure? You look kind of mad.
PETER
Why would I be mad? Im gonna be
puffing again in no time, right?
INT. OUTSIDE OF COMPUTER LAB - DAY
TITLE CARD- Second Period Animation / 9:01 A.M.
A small group of students wait with her backpacks outside of
a computer lab. Bryan rattles the locked door and then looks
down at his watch. Cameron is beside him waiting with
wandering eyes.
Peter walks over to Bryan and shakes his head.
BRYAN
What did Miss Tamara do?
PETER
(Laughing)
Shes calling my mom to come pick
up my cigarettes.
BRYAN
Does your mom know you smoke?
PETER
Hell no, shes gonna flip out.
Where is Miss Parker?
19.
Bryan shrugs and turns to Cameron.
BRYAN
Do you like animation?
PETER
(Like hes stupid)
No, she doesnt like animation.
BRYAN
You dont know that.
PETER
Bryan, nobody except for you would
take this elective willingly.
CAMERON
(Laughing)
I like it just fine, but I signed
up for drama. It was full I guess.
PETER
See?
BRYAN
She said she likes it just fine.
PETER
She was being nice.
BRYAN
(To Cameron)
Its a fun elective. I mean, its
easy. Last Friday we went to
Universal Studios. Well, everybody
except for him.
CAMERON
Really? Thats pretty cool. Ive
never been there.
BRYAN
Its a real fun place.
(To Peter)
We should go as a group sometime.
(To Cameron)
You too.
PETER
Jesus, Speedy Sam, slow down a tad
bit. At least court her before you
propose.
Miss Parker skips over to the door with a set of keys.
20.
PETER (CONTD)
(Annoyed)
Youre late.
MISS PARKER
No, Im teacher.
PETER
The teacher... You are the teacher.
Jesus Christ...
MISS PARKER
God bless you.
She opens the door and students start piling in. Peter turns
to Cameron and bites his lip.
PETER
I fucking hate her.
INT. COMPUTER LAB - MOMENTS LATER
Miss Parker waves two stacks of papers around like pom poms
while grinning from ear to ear.
MISS PARKER
We have a new student joining our
very animated class today!
Please, no flash photography.
PETER
What does that even mean?
MISS PARKER
Im speaking, Peter.
PETER
Oh, sorry. I didnt realize.
Miss Parker closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out at him.
MISS PARKER
Youre probably wondering what Im
holding in my hands right now,
right?
Nobody says anything.
MISS PARKER (CONTD)
Well, its a pop quiz.
The class BOOS in unison.
21.
MISS PARKER (CONTD)
Now-now, let me finish. Since you
guys were so good at Universal
Studios last week I spent the
weekend preparing an easy A to help
boost all your grades.
(To Cameron)
Cameron, sweetie, you dont have to
take it of course.
PETER
So what are we gonna do? Just sit
here?
MISS PARKER
What do you mean we, Peter?
PETER
I mean I didnt go on the field
trip so I cant take it either.
MISS PARKER
Youre not new here like her. I
cant give everybody else a quiz
and not you if youve been here
just as long as them.
PETER
But I didnt go...
MISS PARKER
Its not my fault you opted out of
having an amazing day at a theme
park.
PETER
It isnt like I chose sitting in a
library bored crazy over going to a
theme park... I couldnt afford it.
MISS PARKER
You are making a milk shake out of
nothing. This is an easy A. You
will be fine. Now Im handing the
quizzes out so no more talking.
Peter rolls his eyes as he watches her hand the quizzes out.
He receives his and glances over it.
22.
PETER
Okay, yeah... Question number
one... Who sat next to me on
Jurassic Park? How the hell am I
supposed to know that?
MISS PARKER
I said no more talking. If you
dont know an answer, take an
educated guess.
PETER
An educated guess? It isnt even
multiple choice. Question number
two, Where did we eat lunch at? I
think youve really gone crazy this
time, miss Parker.
MISS PARKER
One more outburst from you, young
man and Ill deduct ten points from
your quiz automatically.
PETER
Miss Parker, if you deducted ten
points from my quiz my final grade
on this easy A would be -10.
MISS PARKER
Thats it, Peter. The best you can
score is now a 90.
PETER
Is that right?
Peter crumbles his quiz up into a ball and throws it at the
white board behind her.
MISS PARKER
Get out!
PETER
My pleasure.
The class LAUGHS.
Peter opens the door but stops and shakes his head.
PETER (CONTD)
This class is a joke.
MISS PARKER
Youre a joke, mister!
23.
PETER
Maybe.
He slams the door behind him.
PAUL, 16, shakes his head very confused.
PAUL
I could be losing my mind here, but
I could have sworn Peter sat next
to you on Jurassic Park, Miss
Parker.
MEAGAN, 15, shakes her head at Paul.
MEAGAN
No, Sarah did.
SARAH, 16, looks extremely offended.
SARAH
Gross, I did not.
KEVIN, 15, stares his quiz down very confused.
KEVIN
Yo, I thought we brought our own
lunches...
Miss Parkers face turns beat red.
MISS PARKER
This is a quiz! You cannot be
discussing answers out loud like
this! This is supposed to be an
easy A!
BILLY, 15, scratches his head and puts his pencil down.
BILLY
I dont know a single answer on
this thing to be honest with you.
MISS PARKER
Nobody sat next to me on Jurassic
Park! There! You have one answer!
Now please, do your best on the
rest of them.
24.
INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY - DAY
Peter enters the library and takes a seat at a black table in
front of a row of computers.
MISS MICHELLE, 48, stares at him like shes waiting for
something. He nods his head at her and waves.
MISS MICHELLE
Are you here because you were
kicked out of class?
PETER
No, I was here last Friday while
the rest of my class was on a field
trip, remember? Theyre taking a
quiz on it right now so I was sent
to the library.
MISS MICHELLE
Well, study or do homework or
something. You cant just sit
there.
Peter SIGHS and opens his notebook. He grabs a pencil and
taps a blank sheet of line paper. He writes his name on the
top and Music appreciation under it.
He writes Mozart sucked cock. And then erases it. He puts
his pencil down and stares at Miss Michelle like hes bored
as hell and its her fault.
INT. ECONOMICS CLASS - DAY
Peter, Dan, Andrew, Katie, Bryan and Cameron sit near the
back. Peter and Dan are sitting on top of their desks.
PETER
Did you guys bring your feast food?
DAN
I made a whole fucking steak, dude.
KATIE
Shut up.
DAN
(Mocking her)
Shut up.
PETER
(To Andrew)
What did you bring?
25.
ANDREW
A shit ton of mashed potatoes, you?
PETER
Macaroni and cheese.
BRYAN
I couldnt make anything, man. I
didnt have any time.
Dan slaps Bryans chest extremely hard.
DAN
Then you cant have any!
BRYAN
(Laughing)
Quit hitting me!
CAMERON
Whats this for?
PETER
Last week at lunch the junior girls
had this giant ass cookie cake and
towards the end of lunch a couple
seventh or eighth graders asked for
a slice cause it was nowhere near
done--
DAN
And they said
(Shouting)
Get-tha-fuck-outta-here!
Mallory turns to face them with a look of utter hatred.
MALLORY
Can you shut up? Some of us are
trying to do some last minute
studying.
PETER
For what?
MALLORY
Uh, the economics test today?
FRANCES, 15, rubs her temple completely defeated while
flipping through her textbook.
FRANCES
Chapters five and six... Its going
to be a nightmare.
26.
PETER
Well, shit. We cant take this
today.
MALLORY
Yes we can...
PETER
Does anybody else besides Mallory
want to take this today?
PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE ELSE
No.
MALLORY
(To the entire class)
Think about this for a moment. Some
of us, myself included actually
studied for this thing. I dont
know about you but I personally
like taking tests promptly while
the material is still fresh in my
head.
ANDREW
Its just you, buddy.
MALLORY
What do you think, Dan?
Dan looks at her like shes crazy.
DAN
What are you turning to me for? I
didnt study for the damn thing.
Mallory rolls her eyes, disappointed.
MALLORY
(To Peter)
How the hell would you prevent the
test from happening anyway?
PETER
Just let me try and dont stop me.
Worst comes to worst in your
twisted fucking head you get an
extra night to study.
Mallory turns around and shakes her head.
MALLORY
Whatever.
27.
The bell RINGS.
TITLE CARD- Third Period Economics / 9:55 A.M.
MR. BYRON, 53, tall and skinny with short grey hair and a
permanent smile enters and fixes his eyes immediately on
Cameron, excited.
MR. BYRON
Well hello there!
Cameron blushes.
CAMERON
Hi, Im Cameron.
MR. BYRON
Im Byron Sandow or Mr. Byron...
PETER
Mr. Byron, we need to have a talk,
man.
MR. BYRON
Oh?
PETER
Yeah see, I guess some teachers
fail to grasp the fact that each
class has their designated testing
day. Youre the only one who
doesnt veer from the scheduled
day...
KATIE
And on this particular day we have
five tests.
PETER
Five...
MR. BYRON
Five tests on a Monday?
ANDREW
Youre the only hope we have for
somebody cutting us a break.
DAN
School isnt supposed to make you
feel like an Egyptian slave.
Mr. Bryans eyes peer over to his book shelf as he ponders
things for a moment.
28.
MR. BYRON
Well, I have Braveheart.
PETER
Maybe we can watch Braveheart and
then take the test in a couple days
when its over.
Mallory stares at Mr. Byron absolutely speechless.
MALLORY
Braveheart... In Economics class.
MR. BYRON
We can do that. I dont want you
guys overburdened.
INT. ECONOMICS CLASS - LATER
The lights are off and Braveheart plays in the background.
Cameron turns to face Peter.
CAMERON
(Whispering)
So about the feast thing.
PETER
(Whispering)
Oh right, so the junior girls had
that cake they didnt finish and
some eighth graders asked for a
piece and they basically told them
to fuck off, so we decided were
gonna prepare a shit ton of food
for lunch today and offer it to
everybody but them.
Cameron LAUGHS.
PETER (CONTD)
Well eat what we eat and then
throw the rest out in a trash can
right in front of them.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Bryan approaches Peter with a nervous smile.
BRYAN
Can I talk to you for a second?
29.
PETER
Whats up?
BRYAN
Can we keep this between us?
PETER
Sure...
BRYAN
You know how last year you wanted
Sarah and we all knew that so we
let you do your thing and you two
ended up dating?
PETER
Yeah, she was crazy but if you want
her go for it.
BRYAN
No, thats not what I mean... Like
and this year Andrew and Katie
finally started dating, which I
mean come on, its about time. They
were only flirting with each other
since the seventh grade, but nobody
else made a move because we knew
Andrew wanted her.
PETER
Right...
BRYAN
Could I maybe call dibs on Cameron?
PETERS
Dibs?
BRYAN
Yeah, I mean that sort of sounds--
PETER
Shitty.
BRYAN
Yeah, but I dont mean it in a
shitty way. I just really like her.
PETER
You dont even know her, man. I
mean she seems cool and shes cute
but --
30.
BRYAN
Which is why I figured you know,
since none of us know her-know her
yet I could kind of raise my hand
and say Let me try to win this one
over without anyone disputing or
caring.
PETER
I just dont understand what you
want from me.
BRYAN
I just dont want you going after
her I guess. I never put myself out
there usually. My focus is
elsewhere, but I got this feeling,
I dont know.
PETER
Im not flirting with her, man.
BRYAN
No, I know. I just wanted you to
know that Im gonna go for it with
this girl and see what happens.
PETER
(Laughing)
Congratulations.
BRYAN
This was kind of dumb. Tell anyone
and Ill kill you.
PETER
I may already kill myself after
this awkward conversation.
INT. SPANISH CLASS - DAY
TITLE CARD- Fourth Period Spanish / 11:25 A.M.
MRS. OTERO, 36, short and cute with long black hair stands in
front of the class with a mischievous smile.
Peter, Cameron, Bryan and Andrew sit in the back.
MRS. OTERO
We are feeling rambunctious today,
ci? I have a wonderful idea. The
next student to talk or laugh gets
a sorpresa.
31.
Peter turns to Cameron.
PETER
(Whispering )
What does sorpresa mean?
MRS. OTERO
Pedro! Come here.
PETER
I was just asking what sorpresa
means.
MRS. OTERO
Rapido, come.
Peter stands up and approaches her.
MRS. OTERO (CONTD)
(Excited)
Sorpresa means surprise!
PETER
Oh good, can I sit back down now?
MRS. OTERO
No, Pedro. What do you think your
sorpresa should be?
PETER
I would be incredibly sorpresad to
walk away not punished. That would
be a sorpresa.
MRS. OTERO
Un momento.
She walks to her desk and pulls out paper and a pen.
PETER
Un detention isnt very
sorpressing, Senora Otero.
MRS. OTERO
No detention, un momento.
She writes something as the rest of the class watches with a
smile.
She puts the pen down and hands him the paper.
MRS. OTERO (CONTD)
(Pointing to the phone)
Telefono.
32.
PETER
Telefono?
MRS. OTERO
Ci.
ANDREW
It means phone.
Peter glares at him.
PETER
I know.
Peter approaches the phone while he reads the paper to
himself. Mrs. Otero turns to Cameron with a smile.
MRS. OTERO
I dont believe in sending students
to the office or calling their
parents because I feel like when
theyre in situations like that
they become master cons... Oh,
Mrs. Otero thought it was me
talking but it was actually the
student next to me. You see what
Im saying?
Cameron nods with a CHUCKLE.
MRS OTERO
(To Peter)
Pedro, call your madre and read
from that paper.
The class erupts in LAUGHTER and excitement.
MRS. OTERO
(To the class)
Silencio or youll be next.
Peter sighs and picks up the phone. Mrs. Otero walks over and
pats him on the back.
MRS. OTERO (CONTD)
Here, Ill dial for you. I know her
number.
She dials the number and hits the speaker button. Peter looks
on incredibly embarrassed as it rings loudly.
PETERS MOM (OVER SPEAKER)
Hello?
33.
PETER
Hey, hows it going?
PETERS MOM (OVER SPEAKER)
Who am I speaking with? Im sorry.
The class LAUGHS.
PETER
Its Peter.
PETERS MOM (OVER SPEAKER)
Peter? Shouldnt you be in class?
PETER
I am, listen...
(Reading from paper)
The reason Im calling you is to
let you know that Im in Spanish
and cant seem to stop disrupting
class.
PETERS MOM (OVER SPEAKER)
Are you kidding me?
PETER
I wish I was.
PETERS MOM (OVER SPEAKER)
You need to get your shit together,
okay? We go through this every
night --
Mrs. Otero grabs the phone and turns off the speaker with a
LAUGH while tears stream down the eyes from Peters peers
from laughing so hard.
MRS. OTERO
Mrs. Hanson, how are you? This is
Mrs. Otero.
(Beat)
Im great, thank you!
Peter watches while shaking his head and running his hand
through his hair.
MRS. OTERO (CONTD)
(Laughing)
Pedro is just extremely hyper today
and doesnt want to stop talking. I
explained the next person to speak
would be in trouble and he was the
first to challenge me.
34.
(MORE)
(Beat)
Okay, one moment.
She rests the phone on her shoulder and smiles at Peter.
MRS. OTERO (CONTD)
Your mother says youre grounded.
PETER
Oh, sweet. Thats really cool. Im
glad I exist right now.
MONTAGE - VARIOUS
Jimmy Eat World - Let It Happen plays as...
A) INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY - Peter retrieves his large
container of macaroni and cheese from the fridge in the
teachers lounge.
B) EXT. EDGEWOOD HIGH SCHOOL - DAY - Dan walks over to a
black SUV parked outside and is handed a container with Steak
from his mother.
C) INT. MISS HENDERSONS CLASSROOM - DAY - Andrew and Katie
stand over Miss Hendersons desk as she opens a mini fridge
underneath her desk and hands them a container of Mashed
potatoes and a box of Publix chicken wings.
D) INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY - Everybody at lunch watches
as Peter, Cameron, Bryan, Andrew, Katie and Dan lay out their
food, plates, forks and spoons. The GIRLS AT THE JUNIOR
TABLE look confused.
E) INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA - LATER - DAY - Students ranging
from the seventh grade all the way to twelfth chow down full
of enjoyment, surrounding the feast lunch table. A girl at
the junior lunch table raises her eye brow with disgust.
F) One at a time in a line, Peter, Dan, Andrew and Katie
throw their left overs away into a trash can directly beside
the juniors.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Cameron stands by Peters locker with a smile.
CAMERON
That was fun. I really like it
here.
PETER
Are you stuffed?
35.
MRS. OTERO (CONTD)
CAMERON
Incredibly. I dont think Ive ever
been this full in my entire life.
PETER
(Laughing)
Do you have science next?
CAMERON
No, honors history and then
science.
PETER
Well, shit. What do you have last
period?
CAMERON
(Laughing)
Music Appreciation?
PETER
I take that too. I feel like its
this schools hidden gem.
CAMERON
What is it exactly?
PETER
Its literally the most pointless
class you could ever take, but Mr.
Matts fucking awesome. Its not
even in the actual campus. Its in
the portable buildings in the back.
Bryan approaches them and rests his hand on a locker door.
BRYAN
(To Cameron)
You ready to go to class?
Cameron shoots him a smile and nods.
CAMERON
Yeah, sure.
(To Peter)
Ill see you in music appreciation.
PETER
Yeah, sounds good.
36.
INT. HONORS HISTORY CLASS - DAY
TITLE CARD- Fifth Period Honors History / 12:45 P.M.
MR. DALY, 35, stands in front of his class putting the lid on
a marker. Theres a wall of notes on the white board behind
him.
MR. DALY
Since we finished early Im gonna
let you guys spend the remainder of
the period working on your group
projects.
(To Cameron)
Cameron, why dont you work with
Mallory and Lindsay... I know
youre new here but maybe they can
get you up to speed with what were
doing and go from there.
CAMERON
Okay, sure.
Students begin turning their desks around to match up with
their partners.
MALLORY
(To Cameron)
I never really properly introduced
myself. Im Mallory.
LINDSAY
And Im Lindsay, with an A.
CAMERON
Yeah, nice to meet you.
MALLORY
So what do you think of Edgewood so
far?
CAMERON
I like it... Its different.
MALLORY
(To Lindsay)
Shes in a lot of standard classes,
like me.
LINDSAY
Oh, the circus.
MALLORY
Mhm..
37.
LINDSAY
(To Cameron)
What brought you here in the middle
of the year, if you dont mind me
asking?
CAMERON
My dad got a real good job offer
that was pretty short notice.
LINDSAY
Whered you move here from?
CAMERON
Tampa, just two hours away.
LINDSAY
Oh wow, so not too far but not
close enough to be able to stay put
where you were school wise.
CAMERON
Exactly.
LINDSAY
Your friends must have been bummed.
CAMERON
Yeah, but I dont know... I didnt
really have a real tight core group
of friends.
Mallory smiles at her in a plotting sort of way.
MALLORY
Well be your friend!
CAMERON
Id like that, thanks.
MALLORY
Can I maybe offer you some advice?
CAMERON
Yeah, sure...
MALLORY
Peter, Andrew and them are funny
and clever I suppose but they
will... Whats the word?
LINDSAY
Drag you down?
38.
MALLORY
Yes!
(To Cameron)
Theres like, good influence and
then theres bad. If you hang
around them before you know it your
grades will start slipping, your
tardys will stack up and your
conduct will falter big time. Now,
Im not telling you what to do...
CAMERON
No, of course not... Youre just
trying to be helpful.
MALLORY
Exactly.
Cameron looks as though shes trying to hide the awkwardness
shes feeling.
CAMERON
Should we go over the project?
LINDSAY
Oh, its done! Well strap your
name to it and say you helped out.
MALLORY
Yeah, we got you, girl.
INT. HISTORY CLASS - LATER
TITLE CARD- Sixth Period Standard History / 1:45 P.M.
Mr. Daly now stands in front of the standard class,
scratching his head. Peter, Andrew, Katie and Dan are seated
near each other.
MR. DALY
So how are your projects coming
along?
DAN
Oh, theyre coming.
MR. DALY
Does anyone have anything to show?
Nobody says anything.
39.
MR. DALY (CONTD)
I feel like you guys havent even
committed 25 percent of your
efforts to getting this done. There
are groups in the honors class that
are finished already.
PETER
Well, thats why theyre honors and
were not.
The class LAUGHS.
MR. DALY
(To Peter)
Man, I was just like you in high
school. The world was my stage and
I was its comedian.
(To everybody)
I was just like a lot of you...
They tell you in the fifth grade
that middle schools the real deal,
that its so much more intense. In
middle school they say the same
thing about high school. I saw no
real difference personally. I was a
clown, and the things I got away
with in middle school I most
certainly got away with in high
school as well. I didnt realize
that I was misinterpreting what
they meant by what they were
saying. By real deal and way more
intense they were referring to
whats behind the curtain....
Transcripts... Your resume for your
future.
All eyes are on Mr. Daly as he CHUCKLES like hes baffled.
MR. DALY (CONTD)
Man, I was going to school to be a
teacher and youd think I was going
to be a doctor I had it so bad. I
had to re-learn everything I blew
off over the years. My grades in
high school were crap and I never
did anything extra curricular to
stand out in a personal way. Guess
what? You cant put I made my
peers laugh hysterically every day
on a college application. You
cant.
(Beat)
40.
(MORE)
But Mr. Daly, theres community
colleges. I dont need to be
accepted at Harvard to continue my
education. Yeah, but thats a five
percent way of thinking and if you
live your life based off a
philosophy like that you will
struggle each second you breathe
until the day that you die.
He shakes his head and wipes his forehead.
MR. DALY (CONTD)
I could Glengarry Glen Ross you
guys until Im blue in the face but
the sad fact of the matter is, no
matter how passionate I preach how
I feel on this or any issue its
going to go through one ear and out
the other. I refuse to give up and
stop trying though. When you sign
up to become a teacher youre not
doing it for millions of dollars.
If youre genuine about your
passion youre doing it because you
truly want to make a difference.
You have it stuck in your heads
that teachers only likes the kid
who has straight As and doesnt
talk back or act out of line, but
to generalize teachers and say
those are the only students they
care about grinds me more than
anything else in this world.
(Beat)
Do those kind of students give us
less of a headache? Absolutely, but
they dont need a specific person
to guide them in the right
direction. I could teach them
history and theyd get it, but
anybody could teach them history
and theyd get it. Its the
students that make up excuses and
dont apply themselves that present
us with a real opportunity to
change somebodys life. You guys
act like your hard as a rock... A
bunch of bad asses, but just you
watch.
41.
MR. DALY (CONTD)
(MORE)
As time passes quicker by the day
and you continue putting off giving
this thing called education a
hundred percent of your dedication
youll find yourselves tossing and
turning, wondering what youre
going to do with your lives. Youre
gonna be scared and youre gonna
want to reach out to your teachers
for help but youre gonna feel
embarrassed and youre gonna try to
convince yourselves that its too
late. Ill do my best to teach you
all I can but Im waiting for that
day because I want you to know you
shouldnt feel embarrassed and I
will be here, when youre ready to
help you push through because it is
never too late.
The bell RINGS. Nobody moves.
MR. DALY (CONTD)
You ever hear that expression
Lifes a roller coaster ride?
Well, all rides eventually stop so
ask yourselves what ride you want
hop on next and if youre in a
position to be able to make that
decision and not have it make
itself.
(Beat)
And do your God damn projects.
Class dismissed.
INT. MUSIC APPRECIATION CLASS - DAY
Peter and Cameron are sitting next to each other. Shes
looking around at the different students that make up their
class. They range from the 8th grade all the way up to 11th.
CAMERON
So this is like a multi-grade
class?
PETER
Its like a -- Yeah, its sort of
an anything goes mad house.
Mr. Matt enters and walks over to his tiny desk. He looks
really nervous.
42.
MR. DALY (CONTD)
PETER (CONTD)
(To Mr. Matt)
Is everything okay?
Mr. Matt SIGHS.
MR. MATT
Everything is fine.
PETER
This is Cameron --
MR. MATT
I know. Hi.
ANTHONY, 14, smiles at Mr. Matt very confused and then turns
to Peter and LAUGHS.
ANTHONY
Whats with him today?
Peter shrugs and KEVIN, 14, enters the room. Kevin is short
and Hispanic with a cocky smile that says I rule this
world. He immediately notices Cameron and nods like he
approves.
KEVIN
Whos the new blood?
CAMERON
My name is Cameron...
KEVIN
If it isnt it should be, right?
She turns to Peter and LAUGHS.
CAMERON
Dan said that same exact thing this
morning.
KEVIN
(To Mr. Matt)
Mr. Matt, did you miss me on
Friday?
ANTHONY
We played basketball specifically
because you werent here.
KEVIN
Is that true, Mr. Matt? You break
my heart, man.
43.
The bell RINGS.
TITLE CARD- Seventh Period Music Appreciation / 2:10 P.M.
MR. MATT
So who did their homework?
PETER
(Whispering)
Shit.
CAMERON
(Whispering)
What?
PETER
(Whispering)
I forgot. He reminded me and I
forgot again. I was gonna do it in
the library earlier but I blew it
off.
ANTHONY
Not me.
KEVIN
I wasnt here so...
ANTHONY
(Laughing)
Like you would have done it anyway.
KEVIN
Well never know, will we?
THREE STUDENTS out of eight raise their hands.
MR. MATT
Just three of you, huh?
He looks directly at Peter who mouths the words Im sorry
with an awkward smile.
MR. MATT (CONTD)
Yeah, Im sorry too...
From behind a blue cabinet in the back of the room pops out
miss Tamara.
44.
ANTHONY
What the heck?
MISS TAMARA
(To Mr. Matt)
So whos safe?
Kevin drums his desk with his hands.
KEVIN
Its about to get real!
MR. MATT
Just Kristen, Sam and Kevin I
suppose. And the new girl, but
shes new so...
PETER
Whats going on?
ANTHONY
Hes a traitor!
MISS TAMARA
Last week I was talking to Mr. Matt
and this class got brought up, by
me and not him. I asked how it was
going and I was informed things are
a bit chaotic. 90 percent of you
are currently failing.
ANTHONY
Isnt it usually the teachers fault
when something like that happens?
Miss Tamara stares at him expressionless.
ANTHONY (CONTD)
Ill shut up now.
MISS TAMARA
The four of you who didnt do your
homework are gonna take a little
field trip with me to my office.
Kevin, you too.
KEVIN
What the heck did I do? I wasnt
even here on Friday.
MISS TAMARA
In the few minutes Ive been here I
can already tell youre a huge part
of the problem.
45.
(MORE)
(To everybody)
Come on, lets go... Its not the
end of the world. Youve all been
in my office plenty of times
before.
They all stand up. Miss Tamara stops Peter with a smile.
MISS TAMARA (CONTD)
Not you, Peter. Youre going
directly to Mr. Connors office.
PETER
What? Why?
MISS TAMARA
Ive already dealt with you this
morning. Were not going to have
the same conversation twice in one
day. You cant get your crap
together today so youre gonna go
see the principal.
Peter stares wide eyed at the floor with his mouth half open.
MISS TAMARA (CONTD)
You people are acting like youve
never been in trouble before. You
know how this works... You
shouldnt be surprised at all.
EXT. EDGEWOOD HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
TITLE CARD- After School / 3:05 P.M.
Yo La Tengo - I Feel Like Going Home plays as...
An army of students pile out the lobby doors, flooding the
outside entrance as they socialize and go to their cars.
Andrew and Katie LAUGH as they approach Andrews moms car.
Katie opens the back door to get in but is shoved out of the
way by Andrew who tries getting in first. She grabs his
collar and throws him aside and jumps in.
ELSEWHERE
Bryan unlocks his bike from a bike stand and pedals off of
school grounds with a blank stare, like something is on his
mind.
46.
MISS TAMARA (CONT'D)
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - CONTINUED
Peter sits in a chair directly in front of Mr. Connors
office, unraveling a piece of cloth hanging from his shirt.
The door to Mr. Connors office creaks up and peter stands
up.
MR. CONNORS OFFICE
Peter lets himself in and sticks his hands in his back
pocket, eyes wandering everywhere except for where Mr.
Connors is standing.
PETER
Hows it going?
Mr. Connors shakes his head.
INT. GYMNASIUM - CONTINUED
Dan opens the double doors that lead into the gymnasium and
stares forward depressed and longing.
CENTER OF THE GYM
Mallory, in her volleyball uniform helps a few other girls
set up a volleyball net. She turns, sees Dan and slowly gives
back the same expression.
Dan SIGHS and leaves.
INT. SCHOOL LOBBY - CONTINUED
Peter exits the office with a look of defeat but smiles as he
notices something in front of him.
PAN OUT AND REVEAL
Cameron sitting by herself on the couch, waiting for him.
PETER
What are you doing?
CAMERON
Waiting for you.
Peter CHUCKLES.
PETER
You didnt have to.
47.
CAMERON
(Sarcastic)
I didnt?
They both smile. He turns to face the door and looks confused
as Andrew rushes in looking angry and upset.
PETER
(Concerned)
Whats up?
Andrew cocks his head back as if to notion for Peter to look
behind him. ANDREWs MOM, 46, and Katie enter. Peter turns
the opposite direction and sees miss Tamara handing PETERS
MOM, 45, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
PETER (CONTD)
Oh shit, I forgot...
THE END
48.