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ENGLISH WRITING

Thiu nng
Session 9
Instructor: H L V Instructor: H L V
OVERVIEW OVERVIEW
Review
Warm-up
Thematic distribution improvement techniques Thematic distribution improvement techniques
(part 2)
Manner of exemplification
Theme-Rheme re-arrangement
Cohesive devices
Previously on Thiu Nng
Essay comparison differences in TP pattern distribution
manner of exemplification
f li it h i ti use of explicit cohesive ties
Genre factor
narrative vs. argumentative texts
Thematic distribution improvement techniques (part 1)
Linear idea development
Previously on Thiu Nng
Feedback:
Q: vic c MC dng sai tuy...nhng. Liu c hi kht khe khng khi
ph bnh c ny ? Nu l vn vit th ng l ng ch nhng nu ph bnh c ny ? Nu l vn vit th ng l ng ch, nhng nu
l vn ni th em ngh n cng khng phi l li qu ln. y l
chng trnh truyn hnh trc tip buc MC phi c kh nng phn
x v ni tri chy, nn nu mc li cng c th tm chp nhn . y g p
A: This is not about criticizing the MC or nitpicking. Its about critical
thinking! Make it second nature to you.
WARMUP
Fun activity solution
Context:
Ross and Rachel were lovers. They broke up after a big fight,
even though they clearly still have feeling for each other.
Ross then had an one-night-stand with another girl, which leads to
Rachel accusing him of being unfaithful Ross denied this saying Rachel accusing him of being unfaithful. Ross denied this, saying
that they were on a break.
And then, they all went away one weekend with a group of close
friends. Ross brought Bonnie, his new girlfriend.
A d R h l t j l d t i d t i R b k And Rachel got jealous and tried to win Ross back
Watch the video clip and answer the following question: what
does it refer to?
Watch the solution clip Watch the solution clip
Whats the lesson learned?
If you cant locate a referent, dont bluff your way through it.
MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Use fewer but more elaborate examples instead of a large number of
short, under-developed ones easier to avoid thematic disruption
One of my friends unexpectedly made twenty thousand dollars on a real estate deal One of my friends unexpectedly made twenty thousand dollars on a real estate deal
several years ago. This would seem to be extremely good luck. But instead of
investing the money or using it wisely, he bought a new luxury car. The insurance for
the car was very expensive. As a result, every time the car needed repairs, he had to
pay a great deal of money. Worse still, he was not comfortable driving it because he pay a great deal of money. Worse still, he was not comfortable driving it because he
was afraid of having a wreck. In spite of this apparent stroke of good luck, my friend
was not really benefited because he did not respond well to the situation.
vs.
If a student studies hard for good grades and succeeds in his classes he won't need If a student studies hard for good grades and succeeds in his classes, he won't need
excuses to explain why his grades are low. It is better not to start drinking than
become an alcoholic and let the drink ruin one's life, cause damage to one's health,
and then to go through the pain of changing the way of life and being forced to stay
away from drink Therefore a person who has good habits will never say that his luck away from drink. Therefore, a person who has good habits will never say that his luck
is bad. A frugal man can prosper because he knows how to invest well and
accumulate greater wealth. Of course, the person who saves his money and does
not spend extravagantly will never say that his luck is bad.
MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Examples vs. Rationales
Family can be considered the first school to children where parents teach them
how to behave and avoid bad habits If a family provides good guidance their how to behave and avoid bad habits. If a family provides good guidance, their
children normally become good people.
For example, if parents lead a healthy life in harmony, the youngsters will
definitely learn good things. By contrast, if parents smoke, drink, and behave y g g y p
badly, they will absolutely affect their children negatively.
these are NOT specific examples. More like rationales. Elaborate with a
specific account of someone you know.
MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Generic rationale-like examples
The important factor of a good person, for example, is her beautiful spirit, not her
pretty appearance. Her look will fade away as she gets older, and finally, no one
admires it anymore. But her precious spirit will still help people around and make
them happy.
I d t k l ifi d l i t d f In order to make your example more specific and personal instead of
talking about a generic, faceless girl, talk about, e.g., a well-known
movie star, who already lost her look when she was past her prime but
has continued to contribute to the society and do charity works You can has continued to contribute to the society and do charity works. You can
also follow it up by contrasting her case with one of her peers, who, once
her look had gone, sank immediately into oblivion.
Possible problem: cant think of anyone specific off the top of your head? Possible problem: can t think of anyone specific off the top of your head?
make it up
MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Generic examples
Trial marriage, for example, is a taboo in traditional Vietnamese culture. Despite g p p
this fact, when some of young couples adults do that, they take it as normal and
gradually become common in our country.
how to make it more specific?
talk about two friends of yours who decided to move in together without
a wedding even though their families are strongly against it (because
someone they know did the same and it seems to work out)
It is important for you to AVOID overly general
examples, or lists of examples without expansion.
(an excerpt from GRE Official Guide) (an excerpt from GRE Official Guide)
THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
Con ngi phi lm vic nui sng bn thn v gp phn xy
dng cuc sng chung ca c cng ng. Khc vi cc sinh vt
khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c trong thin
nhin, con ngi phi lao ng sng to, lm ra mi ca ci phc
v i sng.
Solution 1: nui sng bn thn v gp phn xy dng cuc
sng chung ca c cng ng con ngi phi lm vic. Con ngi,
khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c
trong thin nhin phi lao ng sng to lm ra mi ca ci phc v trong thin nhin, phi lao ng sng to, lm ra mi ca ci phc v
i sng.
Solution 2: Khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c
sn kim c trong thin nhin, con ngi phi lao ng sng to.
H phi lm vic trc ht nui sng bn thn v sau l gp phn
xy dng cuc sng chung ca c cng ng.
Which text reads more natural in Vietnamese?
THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
At this period of time, their memorizing ability is really
good so that they are able to remember new words of a
foreign language. Adults should motivate their kids to
study this subject at early age because of memorizing study this subject at early age because of memorizing
ability.
At this period of time, their memorizing ability is really good so
that they are able to remember new words of a foreign language that they are able to remember new words of a foreign language.
Because of this memorizing ability, adults should motivate
their kids to study this subject at early age.
THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
But instead of investing the money or using it wisely,
he bought a new luxury car. The insurance for the car
was very expensive.
But instead of investing the money or using it wisely he But instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he
bought a new luxury car. It cost a lot in insurance.
When should we or should we NOT switch?
When should we keep insurance as the Theme? When should we keep insurance as the Theme?
The old car vs. new car situation
THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
Vietnamese influences
Marked Theme usage
Referent switching
MARKED THEME USAGE
Vi t it t d t k d Th t Vietnamese writers tend to use marked Themes to a
significantly greater extent than American writers
Trong sn c mt con mo.
MARKED THEME USAGE
Compared with English speakers, Vietnamese seem to be less
troubled by thematic disruption.
Vi t it f k d Th ft th t Vietnamese writers usage of marked Theme more often than not
disrupts thematic continuity.
Sng trong mi trng khng tt m con ngi vn gi c nhn
cch trong sng th cng ging nh hoa sen trn m ly vn ta ngt cch trong sng th cng ging nh hoa sen trn m ly vn ta ngt
hng thm. Xung quanh ta c rt nhiu tm gng nh vy.
Ngc li, c nhng ngi mc d hon cnh sng hon ton thun
li, tt p nhng bn thn li chng ra g. Sinh ra trong gia nh giu , p g g g g g g
sang tha thi tin bc, danh vng, h khng phi lo lng, bn chi
mu sinh.
Xa kia b y ra o hoang, ch vi mt thanh gm cn m Mai An
Ti i t i h h Kh i i Tim ci to c cuc sng ca gia nh mnh. Khng c ai gip
, khng c mt cng c tt lm vic, chng cng chng c mnh
t tt.
MARKED THEME USAGE
If you write by applying the translation method L1 negative
transfer
First, learning a second language will easily make young children
l h i h l I Vi neglect their mother tongue languages. In Vietnam many young
children are taught English alphabet whereas their Vietnamese
vocabulary is even not good.
Any good reason for using In Vietnam as a marked Theme? Any good reason for using In Vietnam as a marked Theme?
However, I believe a foreign language will do more good for them.
While a subject in science requires a quite complicated manner of
thinking, a foreign language merely asks for repetition, or imitation, g g g g y p
from children.
Only after mastering Vietnamese perfectly should children be taught
about the English one. Without having fundamental understandings
b t th i th t hild t b ll d t about their own mother tongue, children cannot be well prepared to
learn a completely new language
MARKED THEME USAGE
Note: Besides avoiding unjustified use of marked Themes that may
cause thematic disruption, you may also employ them to maintain
thematic continuity thematic continuity.
But no obstacle should stand in the way of responsible investigation of
their possibilities. To that end, the work should be funded and
supervised by the federal government. p y g
Eventually, one of the new generations of do-not-advertise cases will
probably end up before the U.S. Supreme Court, but that may take a
while. Until then, proponents of a crackdown can brandish powerful
f f S C quotes from former Supreme Court justices that...
With Wolfenstein 3-D, however, you see the action from the on-screen
characters point of view. You become the character.
Despite the lack of evidence politicians cant resist blaming the media Despite the lack of evidence, politicians cant resist blaming the media
for violence. They can stake out the moral high ground confident that...
REFERENT SWITCHING
Referent switching
Some examples from my ESL data
Normally, a child learning foreign language early find it difficult to speak mother
tongue well. They can compare mother tongue and foreign language, then they
find weakness in native language.
M if hild l f i l l th ill h ti t Moreover, if children learn a foreign language early, they will have more time to
learn it better. As a child, he does not have to concern about too many things.
He only learns, plays and eats. And it is very good because children can learn to
develop both their mother tongue and foreign language. p g g g g
REFERENT SWITCHING
Notes: the same problem found in Thieu Nang writing
Family is the most important source of support that would help them gain more
confidence in ourselves. confidence in ourselves.
My mother had to literally wrestle with me every time she tried to feed me. One
time she was so mad she put me in my neighbors house.
Some people say that family is the most important influence on young adults. p p y y p y g
Obviously, parents bring up us since we were born.
Some... young adults, since they were brought up from birth by their
parents.
REFERENT SWITCHING
Fix the referent switching problem of a passage composed by
an ESL Vietnamese learner (10 points) an ESL Vietnamese learner (10 points)
Spending a majority of their time with friends is one of reasons why
friends have most influence on young adults. A young adult use most of
his time at school where he joins his friends in many activities Through his time at school, where he joins his friends in many activities. Through
such activities, a child and his peers connect and learn from each other.
REFERENT SWITCHING
A Sample solution
Spending a majority of their time with friends is one of reasons why friends have
most influence on young adults. A young adult use most of his time at school,
where he joins his friends in many activities. Through such activities, a child and
his peers connect and learn from each other.
A h f i d h th t i fl d lt i th t h A reason why friends have the most influence on a young adult is that he
spends most of his time in school, where he joins his friends in many
activities. Through such activities, they connect and learn from each
other other.
Could that be L1 influence?
khng b bin thnh nn nhn ca thi quen xu, mi ngi phi c s rn
luyn tu dng khng ngng v mt o c ch Chng ta phi nng cao luyn, tu dng khng ngng v mt o c, ch. Chng ta phi nng cao
nhn thc ca bn thn v bn b v tc hi ca thi h tt xu. Cc bn cn
khuyn bo nhau bit kim ch trc nhng th vui khng lnh mnh.
COHESIVE DEVICE EMPLOYMENT
Use cohesive devices as textual Themes
H fi d t h t b d l k i N l He may never find out what bad luck is. Napoleon, a
historical figure, definitely never knew what bad luck
was because he consolidated his power and never let it p
be divided.
He may never find out what bad luck is. As an example | For
instance, Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely instance, Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely
COHESIVE DEVICE EMPLOYMENT
Warning: do not OVERUSE textual Themes
A Vietnamese ESL excerpt A Vietnamese ESL excerpt
Learning a foreign language is necessary for many people. So, the
educators gave the foreign language teaching to most schools. So, all
children can learn English, Chinese, etc at their early age. Thus, I c d e ca ea g s , C ese, e c a e ea y age us,
think it is good for them to learn a foreign language more effectively
with a good preparation.
COHESIVE DEVICE
Cohesion
Cohesion refers to the linguistic links between sentences, which
demonstrate the relationship between the ideas contained in these demonstrate the relationship between the ideas contained in these
sentences.
A paragraph that is made up of sentences that are well-linked is said
to be cohesive. to be cohesive.
Cohesion ensures smooth written text flow and allows the reader to
follow the development of ideas more easily.
Underlying coherence vs. surface cohesion y g
Any country-music-lover knows Ring of fire as the most famous hit of
Jonhny Cashs career a country music star of the 60s.
coherent but not cohesive
COHESIVE DEVICE
Underlying semantic coherence is realized through
surface cohesive markers in different ways by different
languages
Such differences may affect readers perception of text
coherence
An English essay composed by a Vietnamese speaker
may seem coherent and easy to follow to other ESL
Vietnamese fellows but not so to native speakers of Vietnamese fellows but not so to native speakers of
English.
COHESIVE DEVICE
Cohesive devices: surface markers of cohesion
5 basic types: yp
reference
substitution
ellipsis ellipsis
conjunction
lexical cohesion
COHESIVE DEVICE
1. Reference:
established through naming of participants, places, and things
most commonly expressed by pronouns and demonstratives
a) presented, or introduced a referent as new or as known
b) endophoric: point to a referent located within text
anaphoric: the referent mentioned at an earlier point
E.g., The dog ate the bird and it died.
cataphoric: the referent subsequently provided
E.g., Because his drink was cold, David ordered another cup of
tea.
COHESIVE DEVICE
1. Reference:
c) exophoric: point to a referent lying outside text in the context of
situation.
E.g., the Queen, the VTV3
The writer assumes that readers are aware of the referent
could it be problematic?
Q ti it i th li i d h i Question: it in the warm-up clip is endophoric or
exophoric?
COHESIVE DEVICE
2. Substitution:
replace an element with another but not by means of a
personal pronoun
E.g., Do you have a computer? I used to own one.
E.g., You like to write? I do.
Fun activity
Watch a video clip and solve the given riddle
United States coins?
COHESIVE DEVICE
3. Ellipsis:
involve deletion of a repeated element
E.g., He wrote a letter and [he is deleted] sent it home on the
same day.
How about Vietnamese?
Fun activity
Context
Ellens neighbor has feeling for her so he comes up with many
f i h excuses for seeing her.
One day, he stops by to ask if she would like to be his shift partner
in a new Neighborhood Watch program.
Watch the video and answer the following questions Watch the video and answer the following questions
What ellipsis construction is used in the conversation?
Why does the speaker use it?
COHESIVE DEVICE
4. Conjunction:
express logical relations between parts of a text
E.g., Although they're expensive, they last forever and never go out of
style.
our focus
COHESIVE DEVICE
5. Lexical cohesion:
maintain cohesion through subclassification, g ,
antonymy/synonymy/repetition and part/whole relationship.
E.g., Cats appear to be affected with allergic bronchitis more
frequently than dogs. Animals are usually affected as young to middle
aged adults aged adults.
vs. Cats appear to be affected with allergic bronchitis more
frequently than umbrella.
E.g., Looks are for the young. The older should know that our mates
are not an award that one can display on their arm.
vs. Looks are for the young. The bigger should know that
Note: also involves culture-related assumptions, e.g. Hanoi people
vs Saigon people vs. Saigon people
COHESIVE DEVICE IDENTIFICATION
Watch a clip taken from The Golden Girls show (transcript provided)
Character:
Dorothy, a 58 years old high school teacher
Blanche and Rose: Dorothys roommates
Sophia: Dorothys 83 years old mother
Trudy, Dorothys former best friend, and Jack: Trudys husband
Context:
Dorothy holds a high school reunion party, and Trudy comes to visit.
Although they were best friends, they were also big rivals back in high
school.
Their best-friend/rival relationship hasn't changed a bit 50 years later.
Identify cohesive devices of all types used in the conversation.
Are there any missing links? Why are they acceptable?
Important differences between spoken and written texts
HOMEWORK
For session 10: Cohesive device reconstruction task
Each blank represents a single linking ord that ser es as a Each blank represents a single linking word that serves as a
cohesive device.
Alexandria OKs use of land to expand sewage plant (by Taryn
Luntz Examiner) Luntz, Examiner).
COMING UP NEXT COMING UP NEXT
Problematic usage of cohesive devices g
Conjunction relations