fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup

mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j
fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup
ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; fzgjpg;gps;is
mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j
epidT kyu;
Sculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA Sculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA
Front Cover: Gita Mural at Sri Venkateswara Temple, Bridgewater, New Jersey. USA:
Thy right is to work only, but never with its fruits; let not the fruits of actions be thy motive,
nor let thy attachment be to inaction
In memory of
(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)
Markham, Ontario
In memory of
Neelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai
(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)
Markham, Ontario

T
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GOD of Love, beauty and knowledge ~ Murugan
THANK YOU
The word Muruga is derived from the Tamil word Murugu which means honey, beauty,
fragrance and eternal youth. He is handsome, brilliant, elegant and enchanting. He
symbolises valour, youthfulness, benevolence and compassion.
We thank all of you for the heartfelt sympathies and messages of condolences on the
passing of our beloved Mother. Your time in thinking about us during our great loss goes
far in bringing solace. We thank and appreciate all the helping hands for assisting and
providing comfort to us in numerous ways since the time of her passing.
Children: Balakumaran, Baheerathy, Sivasakthy and Thirukumaran
Daughters & Sons-in-law: Shiranee, Kumar S. Sriskanda, K. Sivarajah and Nalene
Grandchildren: Harshini, Varun, Anushini, Vishalini, Praveen, Harrish, Danesh and Amarnath
Great-Granddaughter: Avandhi.
579 Highglen Avenue, Markham ON L3S 4N4 - (905) 472-0843
The annual grand Ther (Chariot) festival at Nallur Kanthaswmay (Murugan) Temple,
August 24, 2014 (pic courtesy of: facebook.com/nallur)
[ 1 ]
Njhw;wk;: 15.04.1934
kiwT: 10.08.2014
jpUkjp. ePyhk;gpif mk;khs;
fzgjpg;gps;is
ntz;gh
[a Mz;bd; Mb ,Ugj;jhwpy;
Qhyk; Nghw;Wk; G+uiz QhapWjdpy;
jpUNthzj;Jld; $ba gpujikapy;
khu;f;fk; efupdpy; kiwe;jNj - fy;tapypy; Njhd;wpa
ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; vDk; vkjhUapu; md;id.
mkuj;Jtr; rpwg;G
kd;whb ike;jd; ey;Y}u; fe;jdpd;
gj;jhk; jpUtpoh kQ;rk; rpwg;Gw ele;NjWk;
Mtzp gj;J md;W> Mz;ltd; mUs;ghypf;Fk;
mjpfhiy Ntisapy;> mkuu; ePyhk;gpif mk;khs;
fzgjpg;gps;is eypNtJkpd;wp ew;fjpaile;jhnud;why;>
mJ mtUf;Ff; fpilj;j mUe;jtg; gadd;Nwh!
[ 2 ]
tpehafu;; tzf;fk;
Rf;yhk; gujuk; tp\;Zk;
rrptu;zk; rJu;G[k;
g;u]d;d tjdk; j;ahNaj;
]u;t tpf;Ndhg rhe;jNa
K\pf th `dNkhjf `];j
]hku `u;z tpyk;gpf ]_j;u
thkd &g kN`];tu Gj;u
tpf;d tpdhaf ghj ek];Nj
flTs; tho;j;J
thf;Fz;lhk; ey;y kdKz;lhk; khkyuhs;
Nehf;Fz;lhk; NkdpDlq;fhJ - G+f;nfhz;L
Jg;ghu; jpUNkdp Jk;gpf;ifahd; ghjk;
jg;ghky; rhu;thu; jkf;F
[ 3 ]
gQ;r Guhzk;
Njthuk;
rq;fepjp gJkepjp apuz;Le; je;J
juzpnahL thdhsj; jUtNuDk;
kq;Fth utu; nry;y kjpg;Ngh ky;Nyh
khNjtu;f; Nffhe;j uy;yh uhfpy;
mq;fnkyhq; Fiw e;jOF njhO Nehauh
ahtupj;Jj; jpd;W oYk; GiyaNuDk;
fq;ifthu; rilf;fue;jhu;f; fd;;guhfpy;
mtu;fz;Bu; ehk; tzq;Fq; flTshNu
jpUthrfk;
ahNd ngha; ngad;ndQ;Rk;
ngha; nad; dd;Gk; ngha;
ahdhy; tpidNa dOjh
Yd;idg; ngwyhNk
NjNd aKNj fUk;gpd;
nwdpNt jpj;jpf;Fk;
khNd aUsh abNa
Did te;JWkhNw
jpUtpirg;gh
ieahjkdj;jpdid ietpg;ghdpj;njUNt
Iah ePAyhg; Nghe;jtd;W Kjypd;Wtiu
ifahuj; njhOjUtp fz;zhur; nrhupe;jhYk;
nra;ahNah tUs; Nfhilj;jpiu Nghf;fpa Re;juNd
[ 4 ]
jpUg;gy;yhz;L
ghYf;Fg;ghyfd; Ntz;baOjplg; ghw;flyPe;j gpuhd;
khYf;Fr; rf;fu kd;wUs; nra;jtd; kd;dpa jpy;iyjd;Ds;
Mtpf;F ke;jzu; tho;fpd;w rpw;wk;gyNk aplkhfg;
ghypj;J el;lk; gapy ty;yhDf;Nf gy;yhz;L $WJNk
Guhzk;
jz;zspntz; FilNte;jd; nray; fz;L jupahJ
kz;ztu;fz; kio nghope;jhu; thdtu;g+ kio nrhupe;jhu;
mz;zytd; fz;nzjpNu mzptPjp kotpilNky;
tpz;ztu;fs; njho epd;whd; tPjptplq;fg; ngUkhd;
jpUg;Gfo;
ruzfk yhyaj;ij mu epkp\Neukl;by;
jtKiwjp ahdk; itf;f mwpahj
rlfrl%lkl;b gttpidap Nyrdpj;j
jkpad;kpb ahy;kaf;fk; cWNtNdh
fUizGup ahjpUg;g njdFiwap Ntis nrg;G
fapiykiy ehju; ngw;w FkNuhNd
flfGa kPJuj;d kzpazpnghd; khiynrr;ir
fkOkz khu;flg;gk; mzpNthNd
jUzkpij ahkpFe;j fdkJW ePs; rTf;a
rfynry;t Nahfkpf;f ngUtho;T
jfikrpt QhdKj;jp gufjpA eP nfhLj;J
cjtp Gupa NtZ nea;j;j tbNtNy
mUzjs ghjgj;k kJ epjKNk Jjpf;f
mupa jkpo; jhdspj;j kapy;tPuh
mjprak; mNeJKw;w goepkiy kPJjpj;j
mofjpU Ntufj;jpd KUNfhNd
[ 5 ]
mgpuhkp me;jhjp
Mj;jhis vq;fs; mgpuhk ty;ypia mz;lnky;yhk;
g+j;jhis khJsk;g+ epwj;jhisg; Gtpalq;ff;
fhj;jhs Iq;fiz ghrhq; FrKk; fUk;Gk; mq;if
Nru;j;jhis Kf;fz;zpiaj; njhOthu;f; nfhUjPq;fpy;iyNa
[ 6 ]
md;Gs;s mk;kh
kUe;J thq;f vd;W mDTld;
ehd; mjpfhiy nry;y
nrhy;yhky; nfhs;shky; vq;F
eP nrd;wha; mk;kh?
tPl;bd; re;J> nghe;J
%iy KLf;F vy;yhk;
vq;Nf me;j md;G cs;sk;
vd;W cid Njb jtpf;fpd;wd
capu; mw;w me;j Ilk; vy;yhk;
,g;gb Vq;fp epw;f
capu; Jbf;Fk; ehk; vy;yhk; gLk;
Jauk; nrhy;y xU n[d;kk; NghjhJ mk;kh!
mg;gb cdf;F vd;d mtruk;?
vg;Ngh eP tUfpwha; ,dp ,e;jg;gf;fk;?
rpth> rptuh[h>
mD> tp\;.
[ 7 ]
capUf;F capu;jUk; ,ufrpak;
md;Ng flTs; md;Ng Ayfk;
md;Ng capu;fs; md;Ng aidj;Jk;
md;Ng MtJk; moptJk; Nghyhk;
md;gpd; mjprak; Muwp thNu
-Nahfu; Rthkpfs;.
1934,y; khkp KUNfR jk;gjpapdUf;F xNu kfshfg; gpwe;jhu;. ngw;whu;
itj;j ngau; ePyhk;gpif mk;khs;. fy;tay;> nfhOk;G kw;Wk; fdlh Mfpa
,lq;fspy; tho;e;J kyu;e;j ,tu; 10.08.2014 ,y; fdlhtpy; fhykhdhu;.
jdJ 21tJ tajpy; kl;Ltpy; tlf;fpy; Guhz tpj;jfu; rq;fug;gps;is
mtu;fspd; %j;j kfd; fzgjpg;gps;isiag; ngw;NwhUk;> ngupNahUk;
jPu;khdpj;J jpUkzk; nra;J itj;jdu;.
Ntjk; ,iwtdpd; ,ay;G $Wk;. Mfkk; capupd; ,ay;G ciuf;Fk;.
Guhzk; cyfpay; tpsf;fk; jUtJ. ,itfs; gw;wpa mwpT kdj;jpy;
gjpar; nra;Ak; #oy;> Rw;whly; fzgjpg;gps;is> ePyhk;gpif mk;khs;
,UtUf;FNk ,sk; gpuhaj;jpy; mike;jpUe;jJ.
,j; jk;gjpapdupd; ,isakfd; jpUf;Fkhud; vdJ mf;fh espdp
jpUkzk; nra;j tifapy; vdf;F khkp vDk; cwT mike;jJ. kuG
Kiwapy; khkpapd; fztu; fzgjpg;gps;is vdf;F khkh. mtiu gg;gh
vdj;jhd; gyiug;Nghy ehDk; miog;Ngd;. gg;gh %d;W jiyKiwf;F
Nky; vdf;F nrhe;jf;fhuu;. ,jdhy; khkp vd fpl;l ,Ue;J fijj;Jg;
goFtjw;F Kd;dNu mtiug; gw;wpa fUj;Jg; gpk;gq;fs; vd;Ds;
epiwaNt ,Ue;jd.
khkp vd;whNy vdf;Fs; tifg;gLj;j Kbahj xU Fog;gk; ,Uf;Fk;.
ghrj;ijg; gfpur;nra;Ak; cz;ik czu;r;rp mtu; cs;sj;jpy;
capu;g;ghapUe;jJ. mfyhJ mZfhJ ehfuPfj;Jf;F tzf;fk; nrhy;Yk; trP-
fuKk; ,Ue;jJ. rpwpa fpuhkj;jpy; gpwe;jhYk; aho; ,e;J kfspu; fy;Y}upapy;
cau;fy;tp ngw;wtu;. ,tupd; je;ijahu; rhtfr;Nrup thupag;gu; rptd;Nfhapy;
[ 8 ]
jtpu NtW Nfhapy;fSf;Fg; Nghtjpy;iy. khkpapd; gpwe;j ehSf;F
khj;jpuk; ey;Y}u; KUfDf;F mgpN\fk; nra;tpg;ghuhk;. me;jsTf;F
ituhf;fpak;. ghu;j;j khj;jpuj;jpy; gFj;jwpthsu; Nghy; njupe;jhYk;
khkp kdk; cUfp ,iwtid topgLk; Ntis fz;zPu; Kfk; topNa
tope;NjhLtij fhzyhk;.
jpl;lkplhj xU epfo;thfj;jhd; md;W khkpia ehd; re;jpj;Njd;. khkp
ey;y Ritahfr; rikg;ghu;. kpfTk; Rj;jkhdtu;. gpwtpapypUe;Nj kuf;fwp
czTjhd; Mfhuk;. mtuplk; NghFk; Ntis filapy; czT thq;fpg;
Nghf vdf;F kdr; rq;flkhapUf;Fk;. VNjh xU ce;Jjypy; md;W mg;gk;
thq;fpr; nrd;Nwd;. xU Jz;L khj;jpuk; rhg;gpl;lhu;. kpfTk; gupthfTk;
fdpthfTk; nra;jhu;. ,Jtiuapy; khkp vd;whNy vdf;Fs; ,Ue;j
tifg;gLj;j Kbahj Fog;gk; vy;yhk; jPu;e;jJ Nghy; czu;T Vw;gl;lJ. xU
tiu xUtu; re;jpj;j ,Wjpr; re;jpg;ghfNt mJ mike;jJ.
ehd; mtuplk; Nfl;f epidj;j Nfs;tpfSf;nfy;yhk; tpilahf cyf epajp
vDk; jiyg;gpy; gg;ghtpd; epidT klypy; Mf;fk; vOjpapUe;jhu;. khkp
nja;tkh? ,y;iy. nja;tj;jd;ikAk;> RghtKk; epiwag;ngw;wtu;. jdJ
%jhijaiu nja;tkhf kjpj;jtu;. jdJ nry;tq;fisj; njspthfTk;>
Jy;ypakhfTk; mwpe;J itj;jpUe;jhu;. mLj;jtu; ghjpg;gpy;yhky; gad;
ngWk; tifapy; jd;tho;it jhd; tho;e;jtu;. gjpYgrhuk; vjpu;ghu;f;fhky;
flikNa fjpaha; filrptiu fUkk; Mw;wpatu;. %jhijaupd;
Kf;fpaj;Jtj;ij Kjpu Kjpuj; jhd; ngw;w mDgtj;jhYk;> jpUj;jp jpUj;jp
Nrfupj;j mwpthy; vy;NyhUk; GupAk; tifapy; vspjhf vOjpdhu;.
Mtzp 10k; ehs; eL ,uT fle;j 2 kzpastpy; khkpf;F rpW cly; mnrs-
fupak; Vw;gl;lJ. ,jid njhlu;e;J clypd; ntg;gk; Fiwe;J> ,uj;j Xl;lk;
Fiwe;J> fhw;W mOj;jk; gbg;gbahff; Fiwe;J ,Jtiuapy; NfshkYk;>
nrhy;yhkYk; - tUtJk;> NghtJkha; ,Ue;j fhw;W ,dp tug;Nghtjpy;iy
vd;gij mwpahj kUkfd; rptuh[hTk;> Ngj;jp tp\hypdpAk; gf;fj;jpypUf;f
cliytpl;L capu; gpupe;jJ.
khkp tukh jtkh vd mjprapf;Fk; tz;zk; jdJ fLk; Kaw;rpahy;
mwpitAk;> jpwidAk; fle;j cr;rj;Jf;F ,d;gr; rpupg;G ,y;yj;jpd;
xspaha; tho;e;jtu;. jdJ flikfisj; jtwhJ nra;J epiwthd NghJ
gjpYgrhuq;fs; ngwhkNy ,we;J Nghdhu;. nka;g;nghUis> nja;tj;ij>
[ 9 ]
rf;jpia my;yJ ,iw Mw;wiy mtu; mDgtpj;j mDgtj;ij mtu; vO-
jpa fl;LiuapNy fhzyhk;:
kdpjdpd; Kf;fpakhd flikfspy; ek; Kd;NdhUf;Fr; nra;Ak; rpuhu;j;jk;
(gpjpu; fld;) kpf Kf;fpak;. mtu;fspd; Mrpjhd; Fyk; tho top nra;fpwJ.
,jpy; mf;fiw nfhz;L jtwhJ rpuhu;j;jk; nra;J tuNtz;Lk;.
G+i[aiwapy; Rthkpg;glq;fSld; ek;Kd;Ndhu; glq;fisAk; Nru;j;J
khl;lf;$lhJ. Kd;Ndhu;fs; ekf;Fj; nja;tkhf epd;W topfhl;Lgtu;fs;.
mtu;fsJ glq;fisj; nja;tg; glq;fSld; Nru;j;J itg;gjhy;
G+i[aiwapd; ,iw rf;jp Fiwe;J tpLfpd;wnjd;gJ ekJ Kd;Ndhu;
mwpTiu. MfNt ePj;jhu; glq;fis Ntwhf tljpir Nehf;fp khl;LtJ
jhd; rpwe;jJ. mtu;fspd; epidT ehl;fspy; khj;jpuk; topgl;Lg; G+i[
nra;jhw; NghJkhdJ. nja;tq;fl;Fk;> Kd;NdhUf;Fk; jdpj;jdpahfg;
G+i[ nra;a Ntz;Lk;. nja;tq;fl;Fj; jpdKk; G+i[ nra;a Ntz;Lk;.
,d;iwa #o;epiyapy; mjw;Nfw;wgb VNjDk; xU tifapy;
FLk;gj;jpYs;s Ntu;fs;> tpOJfs;> gpQ;Rfs;> G+f;fs; vd ahtw;iwAk;
xd;W $l;b me;j kfpo;r;rpapidj; jtwtplhky; mDgtpf;f Ntz;Lk;.
,J FLk;gj;jpd; midtupdJk; flikahFk;. ,J md;Gk;> ghrKk; ngUf
top tFf;Fk;.
,iwtdpd; mUs; xsp mtutu; mwpTj;jpwj;jpy; ntspg;gLk; vd;ghu;fs;.
khkpapd; m];jp flypy; fiuf;Fk; me;jf; fzj;jpy; miu mbf;F vOe;j
fly; miy %d;W mb ntspapy; te;J thupr; nrd;wJ. mJtiuapy;
mikjpahapUe;j fly; Mu;g;gupj;J ms;spr;nrd;w m];jp mjPjkha;
flypy; fye;jgpd; epj;jpa etPdkha; mikjpahapw;W. ,JNt ePyhk;gpif
mk;khspd; tho;tpd; mw;Gjj; jd;ik. jd;kakha;j;jhd; mJtha;j;
jtwplhjpaq;Fk; cd; jd;ikapid vz;z vz;z jtkJ Mde;jNk...
nrhy;yb rptrf;jp! Rlu;kpF mwpTld; gilj;Jtpl;lha;> cd;id mwpe;jtu;
kwg;gNuh - capUf;F capu;jUk; ,ufrpaj;ij!
,.epkyd;.
[ 10 ]
c
rptkak;
md;gpd; khkpf;F!
fz;lTld; vOe;njd;idf; fl;bmizj;Jf;
fUiznghop ,Utpopahy; cw;WNehf;fpf;
nfhz;Lepd;wvd;epiyikf; Nfhyq; Nfl;Lf;
nfhQ;rptpl;Lg; ghujpNavd;Wmd;gha;g;
gz;ilehl; gioafijNfl;Lkfpo;e;jha;!
ghrnkhLNgrpepd;wha;! ,dpj;jjk;kh!
mz;lnky;yhk; mUs;tpupf;Fk; me;jptz;zd;
mUl;Nrhjpjdpw;fye;jha; nja;te; jhNd!
- ghujp
Dr B S Bharathy Justice of the Peace (Aust.)
25/2 Station Street, Homebush
NSW 2140
61-2-9642 2191
(The Writer is a Grandson of Navaliyoor Somasundara Pulavar)
[ 11 ]
kyUk; cs;sk;
Foe;ijf; ftpQu; mo. ts;spag;ghtpd; rpWtu;
ftpijj; njhFg;gpypUe;J...
,e;jg; Gj;jfj;jpid vdJ rpW gpuhaj;jpy; gs;spf;$l tpLKiwapy; fy;tay;
nrd;w NghJ guprspj;jtu; ehd; mg;gh vd;wioj;j mk;khtpd; Iah mkuu;
MWKfk; KUNfR mtu;fs;.
vdJ mk;kh top Ngudhupd; epidthf Foe;ijf; ftpQu; mo. ts;spag;gh
mtu;fSf;Fk; mtupd; gjpg;gfj;jpw;Fk; ed;wp njuptpj;J kyUk; cs;sk;
njhFg;gpy; ,Ue;J ehd; gbj;Jg; Nghw;Wk; ,U ftpijfis gfpu;e;J
nfhs;fpd;Nwd;: - f. jpUf;Fkhud;
In memory of Grandpa: Poems for children by Azha Valliappa (1922 - 1989) ~
from his Marum Ullam (Blossoming mind) collection that I rst got to read from
Appa, my maternal grandfather gifted the book in Kalvayal in the early 1970s
[ 12 ]
Contd. on page 13...
[ 13 ]
[ 14 ]
In Memoriam online:
For Pappa
Sangarapillai Kanapathypillai
And
Ammah
Neelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai
At
http://pappa29.tumblr.com/
Display on 57th Street, NY, NY 10019
[ 15 ]
Tirukkural: 75
jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;
md;Gw;W mku;e;j tof;nfd;g itafj;J
,d;Gw;whu; va;Jk; rpwg;G.
fiyQu; ciu:
cyfpy; ,d;Gw;W tho;fpd;wtu;f;F tha;f;Fk; rpwg;G
- mtu; md;Gs;sk; nfhz;ltuhf tpsq;Ftjd; gaNd vd;W $wyhk;.
Translation by Rev Dr G.U. Pope:
Sweetness on earth and rarest bliss above,
These are the fruits of tranquil life of love.
They say that the felicity which those who, after enjoying the pleasure
(of the conjugal state) in this world, obtain in heaven is the result of
their domestic state imbued with love.
[ 16 ]
As the eldest of Ammas grandchildren, I was fortunate enough to have known
her for the longest of all my cousins. I called my grandmother Amma, as did
many others. Amma was a loving woman. It seems simple enough to say it, and
see it, but it is not easy to do. Love requires loyalty, selessness and devotion. She
embodied this, everyday, and because of this, she was, and is, the best person I
have ever known.
Ill share one example - in 2010, when she was 76 years old, she woke up with
me, at 4 o clock in the morning to accompany me to the hospital when I went
into labour with my daughter. She stayed at my side for 12 hours straight, not
leaving until after Avandhi was born, at 4pm the next day. From where did she gain
the strength to do this? With Avandhi, Amma was more patient than I, more giving
than I. I tried to learn from her, and do as she did. Later, I was continually amazed
at the grace she demonstrated when she took care of Pappa, before he passed
away last December. I dont know if I could be as good as her, ever.
When I was with Amma, I felt love in the words she spoke to, her touch and
near the end of her life, her tears. She was not one to say, explicitly, I love you,
but in the past week, she began telling me I love you whenever I would visit her,
as if she wanted to make sure I knew it.
Amma, you did not need to tell me this. I have known it for my whole life, and I
have been blessed because of it. I saw too, how much you loved my child, Avandhi.
Everything you gave her, you gave me as well.
I will miss you so much. I wish you were still here. Selshly, I want to have the
pleasure of calling you, and telling you what I have accomplished, and hear you say
how happy and proud I have made you. I wont have this anymore, and I am bereft.
I did not have enough time to give back to you all that you gave to me. When
I was a child, you fed me, held me and washed me. I felt no shame in doing the
same for you. I wish so much I was there with you in your last moments.
Harshini Sriskanda:
HOMAGE
From Grandchildren
[ 17 ]
I would have held your hand and told you how much I love you, and that there
was nothing to fear. I am also so sorry, that I did not say goodbye to you, the last
time I saw you. You were asleep, Amma, and had had bad dreams for most of the
afternoon. You seemed peaceful, nally, and I did not want to wake you. I thought,
wrongly, I would see you again, tomorrow. I did not say goodbye. In my heart, I
hope this means, we are still together. Our visit continues. I did not say goodbye,
because you have not, and will not ever leave me.
- Harshi
[ 18 ]
She Wanted to Be There,
and I was Glad
On the day Avandhi was born, I overheard Varun asking Amma if she wanted
a ride back home from the hospital. The baby wasnt coming for a few more
hours. Why doesnt she go home and rest and he would bring her back later. Her
response was priceless: When the baby is born, I must be the rst person to
see her, she told Varun. Thats when I knew Amma meant business. Up until then,
I wasnt sure why she was more eager to witness the exact moment when our
child was born. Everyone in our family had said they would visit us after the baby
arrived. Amma wanted to be in the room, unwilling to miss even a minute of it.
Even the nurse gave me a confused look once, asking with her eyes, your wifes
grandmother wants to be here? Yes, she wanted to be there. And I was glad she
was.
And it didnt end there. Our rst night with a new baby was tough. The kind of
night that catches new parents by surprise. Harshi and I were on no sleep. Literally,
no sleep. Avandhi was up every two hours, and wanted to stay up for two hours
each time, regardless of what time it was, and caring even less how much sleep her
clueless parents were able to muster. Every time Avandhi would wake up, however,
I would only have to wait a minute or so until I heard Ammas feet on the stairs, in
all their slow and labored determination.
But one night I will never forget. It was December 30, 2010, and Avandhi was
2 days old. Harshi and I were exhausted and at some point, two glorious hands
had taken Avandhi from us. Harshi and I collapsed into bed and went to sleep.
We slept, by my count, for about two or three hours. We woke up to see Amma
sitting in the dark corner, in the middle of the night, whispering something to Avan-
dhi while rocking her slowly back and forth.
I was immediately overwhelmed with guilt. I jumped out of bed, and took
Avandhi from her, asking in shock, how long have you been sitting here? She had
no clue how long it had been. She said her usual, its ok before going back down-
stairs. I checked the clock, and told Harshi that Amma, this 76-year old woman,
had been sitting here for two or three hours rocking Avandhi to sleep. It was the
best sleep that either of us would get that week. I still think about this from time
and time, and shake my head in disbelief and utter amazement.
Amarnath Amarasingam:
[ 19 ]
Over time, however, I became less amazed and less surprised. This was Amma.
It was just who she was. Always putting her family above all else, even her own
comfort, her own needs. Our happiness was her happiness. She lived to be proud
of her children and her grandchildren - even adopted grandchildren like myself.
We will continue to make you proud of us Amma. Yours was a life well-lived and
well-loved.
- Amar
[ 20 ]
Amma,
I miss you.
We all miss you. I miss coming to visit you and having you greet me at the door
with a big smile on your face. I miss seeing that smile when we would sit around
the table enjoying the rice & curry you prepared or when you would come to our
house and walk in with urgency; excited to see your great-granddaughter who was
just as excited to see you.
I hope in your nal moments you understood how much I loved you, how
much I appreciated everything you did for me and how much I wanted you to get
better so we could see you smile again.
I knowsomewhereyou and Pappa are smiling together again.
Rest Peacefully Amma.
- Varun
Varun Sriskanda:
[ 21 ]
Amma,
It breaks my heart that you are gone. Since Sunday morning, I have been think-
ing of things I want to say to you. I wish I had been by your side the whole time. I
wish I could have stood with you, to let you know how much we love you, to tell
you your presence in our lives will be innite.
You put on a beautiful, strong face for us, but these months without Pappa
were difcult. Still, in these last few days, I would hear you ask, how am I going to
leave everyone behind and go? To hear you say this, despite your deep sense of
loss since Pappas passing, was so moving. I cannot think of anyone who loves as
ercely as you do; we are lucky to have been loved by you.
One of your good friends called home today and said that your departure,
so soon after Pappas, was no surprise; this was your generations way of showing
devotion, this was the sign of soulmates.
Yesterday, we were making a slideshow for you. There are many pictures of you
that I want to know more about, that I want to hear you narrate in your clever,
thoughtful way. I wish I could spread those photos across your bedroom oor and
listen to you talk about them.
I miss watching dramas with you. I miss sitting together on the couch in the
family room and laughing at those silly jokes, raising our eyebrows at those never-
ending plot twists. Its funny how the simplest moments suddenly become so rich.
I miss taking you places, Amma. We used to go all around that plaza at the end
of our street. I wish I could take you to those stores again, just me and you. I really
loved that, I dont think I ever told you.
I miss seeing you in your room, keeping yourself busy in various ways. I once
saw you compile and complete a set of math problems for yourself. You and Pappa
were the perfect pair in that way you kept each other sharp and interested in
the world around you. That was refreshing to see, and you didnt lose that after
Pappa left. You were bright and sound of mind until the very end, Amma.
We have lived together from before I can remember. For the last twelve years,
you have been right across the hall from me. I can barely walk past your room
Anushini Sivarajah:
Contd. on page 22...
[ 22 ]
now; I cannot stand the thought of you not being there. It hurts to step into your
room and see all of your things, so neatly arranged. It hurts to know that you will
not be wearing those clothes in your closet, or shufing through those papers in
your desk. I still cannot fully comprehend that, its so overwhelming.
Though we are your grandchildren, my cousins and I call you Amma, as if you
were our mother. It reects your relationship with us so perfectly because you
have always been much more than a grandmother needs to be. Our successes
have been yours, and our struggles have been yours, too. Your approval, your en-
couraging smile, and your condence in us meant the world. Your concern for us
was boundless - I dont know what we will do without it, now.
I dont want to ever forget how you look, feel or sound. I hope I see you again,
Amma. When I close my eyes, when I fall asleep, when I dream I want so much
to see you, as clearly as possible.
I hope you are happy, strong and whole, wherever you are. I will always love
you more than I could hope to explain, and you will always be with us. But you
deserve rest and peace now, Amma. Sleep well.
- Anushi
[ 23 ]
Hi, my name is Vishalini and Im Mrs. Kanapthypillais youngest granddaughter.
For as long as I can remember, everyone has affectionately called my grandma
Amma regardless of their relation to her - her kids and their spouses, her
grandkids, even friends and other unrelated individuals. Its a testament to the kind
of person Amma was - kind, loving and willing to put everyone elses well-being
above her own. She really was a mother to everyone that had the pleasure of
knowing her.
I have never spent a moment of my life without Amma around. She was the
rst person to hold me in the delivery room after I was born, she was my rst
and primary baby sitter as a child, and I lived with her for my entire life. Its hard to
conjure a memory that Amma isnt somehow a part of, because she was always
there. She was there to say goodbye to me each morning before I went to school
and would wait downstairs to greet me when I got home; she would call me into
her room to have a quick chat every time I passed by; she would often come to
my room in the middle of the night and turn off my light on the many occasions I
fell asleep while studying. She would always come to my rescue, whether I sought
her help or not.
When I was nine, I was so upset about forgetting my math textbook at school,
and since my parents hadnt come home from work yet, she insisted on walking
with me to school to go get it. It didnt matter that this was in the middle of an icy,
cold winter. It didnt matter that we lived 20 minutes away from my school. With-
out a complaint or any hesitation, Amma dressed in her winter clothes and slowly
walked with me to school to get my book because thats the kind of caring,
seless person she was. I had forgotten this until Amma reminded me of it only
days ago. Its what makes this so hard for all of us - Amma was active and had such
a strong mind until the end, and yet she so quietly and suddenly left.
Amma was always so interested to hear about what was going on in my life
my latest accomplishments, what I was studying at school, what my marks were,
and what career I wanted to pursue. In the last few weeks, I realized that she really
wanted to see how I turned out. When I was 14, she told me that she really
wanted to meet my Romeo - the person that I would marry. Being so young, and
not thinking that far ahead, I just smiled, said, Okay Amma and left it at that. Back
then, I really believed I would be able to share that and so many other milestones
with Amma, and I know that she wanted to be there for those moments.
Vishalini Sivarajah:
Contd. on page 24...
[ 24 ]
Its so hard to let go of you, Amma, because I never thought about having to
do so. But Im so thankful to have had this special relationship with you; to have
had you there with me from the very beginning, to have you as the rst person
to hold me, to have been there by your side until the very end, and to have been
that last person to hold you.
Thank you Amma, for every wonderful memory, every kind word, every loving
gesture, and for always being there for me.
- Vish
[ 25 ]
My name is Praveen Balakumaran and I wanted to say a few words about my
dearest appama. I soon began referring to Appama as Amma taking after all my
cousins. Amma was a special person in my life and somebody who always had be-
lief in me, even when sometimes I didnt share the same idea. She would say Iyah
you can do this right, You can do that right? I would answer yes Amma.
Amma constantly cared about everyones well being. When my parents would
come pick me up from university in New York. Amma would call them on the 401,
at the border, and even passed the rst service center and then would nally ask if
my parents had made it safely to me. Then on the way back a similar 5-call process
would occur. Ammas undeniable selfness towards others was seen throughout
many instances in her beautiful life. Amma always wanted a spectator seat to
watch with pride the success of all her children and grand children.
Sometimes if I close my eyes I can still hear Amma saying after not seeing
me for a while Iyah have you lost weight? Amma was kind, generous, loving and
just loved to spend time with her family. She would make the whole family save
specic dates from our busy schedules for dinners where we would talk, laugh and
have a good time with each other. Amma helped bring our whole family together
and enjoyed every minute of it.
No words can describe the feeling you get when you hear that someone you
love has fallen very ill. That feeling is multiplied many times over when the people
who surround you feel that similar indescribable feeling. Amma I was glad I was
able to come see you almost everyday when you had fallen ill, you may have not
been talking all the time but I know you would have been laughing at my jokes
even if they werent funny.
We will miss you dearly Appama, but I know that you will be watching us, guid-
ing us, with all our endeavors and keeping us not only safe but together as family.
- Praveen
Praveen Balakumaran:
[ 26 ]
My name is Harrish Thirukumaran and I am one of Ammahs grandsons.
Despite being raised in the United States, South Brunswick, New Jersey to be
specic, for the better part of my life, I believe I have been fully exposed to Am-
mahs extraordinary character.
My frequent visits to Toronto during the holidays or special occasions, alongside
my immediate family were always enriching from Ammahs loving presence. It was
also great to see her reciprocate her genuine enthusiasm every time we were able
to come.
During these numerous times together, as with my grandfather, Pappa, she
would inquire me on my daily life in New Jersey. My NJ recollections would un-
doubtedly place her in fascination, as she learned of my previous tennis playing to
my education in both middle school and high school.
From the photos of Ammah and me in my younger years, I could tell she easily
embodied a vibrantly strong affection for me. I certainly felt her nurturing ways,
which were also extended to my brother, Danesh when he was around during
those stays in Toronto.
I remember Ammah being an extremely observant person, as amusingly exem-
plied when she would detail how I physically changed since we last met. Although
I exhibited obvious homelike thoughts within the distant South Brunswick, Ammah
could effortlessly make me feel at home on a grand interpersonal level.
In my view, I like to think Ammah was spiritually enlightened upon seeing both
me and my brother engaging with her other grandchildren, sharing laughs and
enjoying each others company altogether under one roof.
Currently, I have actually been attending Brock University in St Catharines,
Ontario. This signicant transition was pleasing to me, not only for my long-term
career aspirations or Canadian roots, but also for the opportunity to bring me
closer to Ammah and the rest of my family in Toronto.
When I was occupied with my university studies, Ammah would often make
these small phone calls just to check on my well being, showcasing her hope for
my ongoing academic path. Hearing her caring, soft voice, among many other fac-
tors, motivated me to ensure my success in my rst two years of university.
Harrish Thirukumaran:
[ 27 ]
I know that she is immensely proud of these and past achievements. Further-
more, her profound inuence will consistently be at my side, as I nish this under-
graduate program and continue my career pursuits.
Thank you for many wonderful years. You will be truly missed, Ammah.
- Harrish
[ 28 ]
Hello all, my name is Danesh and I am the youngest grandchild to Amma, and
often referred to as the American, and I am here to present my letter to Amma.
To my dear Grandmother, Amma,
From my 15 years of knowing you, and about 10 years of actually somewhat
comprehending what you were saying, I understood what a great role model you
were to the many people you associated yourself with. Your dearest wisdom and
kindness towards your friends and family really inuenced people like me to be
more like you. Your affection was shown especially towards Pappa during his last,
cherished moments with us. Whenever there was a family get together or an
event held somewhere Pappa could not attend, youd be the one sitting right by
his side, attending to every need he could possibly ask.
And your wisdom was even shown in the most miniscule ways, at least per-
taining to one of my experiences. I remember clearly, when I was around 5 and
had to take a visit to the restroom. In my case, a messy visit. My visit consisted of
a soiled toilet seat and hands that had not been washed. Shortly after my chaotic
visit, you walked in the restroom and returned in a matter of seconds to demand
who made the mess. Of course, I eventually came out and said it was me, and you
gave me some wise words most dont see as wisdom, but of course, I do. You said
Danesh, for you to keep the toilet seat clean for yourself and everyone else you
must go inside the toilet, not everywhere else. This amount of wisdom at the time
was and still is very inuential even to this day. Although it seems small, I know
many people who will face and have faced the catastrophe of a soiled toilet seat in
a public restroom and would wish those messy individuals would have met Amma.
Not only were you kind and wise, you also were a very caring person who
often put a persons needs ahead of yours. For example, you would ensure that
Pappa ate properly before you even got a taste of your food. Not only that, I
remember every time we would come from New Jersey to Markham, you would
also make sure Ive eaten to the fullest extent. You would make sure almost every
grain of rice would be in my stomach by the time I nished eating.
Although you may not be in our lives right now, you lived a very fullling life.
You managed to raise four successful kids, seven grand kids, and one granddaugh-
ter. Many people dont have this opportunity and we should congratulate how
much Amma has done for this family.
Danesh Thirukumaran:
[ 29 ]
Lastly, one of Pappas and your wishes involving me was to see me graduate
high school, being the youngest grandchild, and although you both are not here
tangibly, somewhere, somehow, knowing Pappa and you, will see me graduate
when the day comes. Thank you for all you have done Amma.
Love, Danesh
(Full Text of Eulogies read by Grandchildren on August 12, 2014 during visitation
hours at Highland Funeral Home)
[ 30 ]
A personal tribute to late
Mr. & Mrs. Kanapathypillai
It is with great sense of sadness that I write this tribute to the lives of a very
special couple, Mr. & Mrs Kanapathypilllai, whom I fondly called Pappa and Ammah,
and who were both taken away from us in a very short span of eight months. I
would like to express my thanks and gratitude to Bala and Thiru for giving me the
opportunity and privilege to pay tribute to the special couple. Pappa & Ammah
are my sister Shiranees Parents in-law. I have known Pappa & Ammah since 1990
when they moved to Canada to be with Shiranee & Bala, and since then, I have
had the good fortune of getting to know them and to be part of the extended
family.
Pappa & Ammah personify simplicity and calmness. They were both persons
of peace and goodwill. They were simple and unostentatious in their habits and
wants. This to me is the most striking aspect of their personalities.
They were both religious by nature. They expressed deep reliance in God.
Pappa was a very honest and an unassuming man. I have never seen him
get angry. Pappa had a temper that could hardly be rufed by the most adverse
circumstances. I am sure he looked up to God for his divine wisdom and guidance
and worked his destiny in the best way he could. He lived his life ethically.
Pappa won the respect of everyone he came in contact with through his great-
ness and won their love with his goodness. He was a very helpful person who
always went out of his way to help people who sought his assistance.
I must confess I took a special liking for Pappa because he resembled my dad,
late Sebastiampillai Anthonypillai, in many ways. Pappa knew my dad before he
came to Canada. My dad died in Sri Lanka two days before he was due to arrive
in Toronto, to attend the wedding of Shiranee and Bala.
From Friends & Relatives
By Preethi Anthonypillai:
[ 31 ]
My father- in -law, Mr. Ponnampalam S. Thiagarajah also knew Pappa, and had a
great deal of respect for him. My father-in- law frequently spoke about Pappa as he
admired Pappas simplicity of mind and manner. They often spoke to each other on
the phone.
I had many long conversations with Pappa on many topics and issues. Our
conversations included his career in Sri- Lanka. From those conversations I inferred
that although Pappa was a civil servant who was held in high esteem and had held
executive positions, he was compassionate towards his subordinates. I am sure he
would never have encroached on the prerogative of his subordinates regardless
of their positions. Pride was unknown to his character. He had an innate sense of
propriety. Pappa was a humble man.
Pappa was a patient person capable of bearing long delays and waiting for the
right moment.
In a nutshell, Pappa lived an exemplary life that many would strive to emulate.
He had a forgiving spirit. During our numerous conversations, Pappa, frequently, in
his own style, uttered nobody is perfect you know you have to forgive them. He
always looked for the goodness in people. It never appeared to me that he car-
ried any grudges or personal resentments. I guess he developed the ability to rise
above personal resentment to forgive and forget. He was also a very independent
person. Even though, he came to Canada, very late in his life, he went to H & R
block to learn to do Canadian taxes, not only to keep him occupied, but also so as
not to be a burden on his children.
Ammah was a terric mother and a wife and lived by example. I have been
a recipient of her kindness, hospitality and her generosity with her time on many
occasions; one occasion that comes to mind is when I was living alone, during
my bachelor days when Ammah nursed me to health when I got chicken- pox. I
would go to Shiranees house for my meals and Ammah would cook for all of us
and take care of us. Ammah prepared vegetarian dishes with deliciousness and
taste that I enjoyed very much. I still remember her words at the time: she said
neegalum Inga vanthu irungo appa vadiva parkalam (in Tamil, it meant that I
should stay at Shiranees so that she could look after me better). For the care she
gave me I owe Ammah my profound gratitude. Whatever she did, she did it with
spontaneity, heart and a motherly love that I deeply appreciated.
Ammah had a great sense of humour. It was fun to be around her. She would
laugh heartily at jokes and never hesitated to joke back. She was pleasant and al-
[ 32 ]
ways wore a beautiful smile. I always felt that Ammah had a good sense of balance
between the two cultures-western thinking and at the same time she retained,
preserved and observed the salient aspects of our culture - our proud and price-
less heritage. She looked after Pappa selessly until his death, perhaps, at the cost
of her own health.
Pappas passing was very hard on her. They had been together for so long
and had been devoted to each other. As a couple they exemplied true love and
loyalty to one another. The last time I spoke to Ammah was when I invited her to
my wife Saros milestone birthday party on a boat.
At the time she informed me that she would not be able to attend because
she found it difcult to climb stairs; she told me that if she did not have this dif-
culty she would have been the rst person to attend. I thought she was slowly
recovering from Pappas death. It was a shock to all of us that she was taken away
so quickly.
To Bala, Rathy, Siva, Thiru and their families, Saro & I send our heart- felt con-
dolences for your irreparable loss. We are sure that the lives of Pappa and Ammah
and their words would have instilled in you a sense of pride that will stay with
you for the rest of your life. The legacy they have both left behind will stay in your
hearts and minds forever.
The great bard William Shakespeare wrote almost 400 years ago; Come
what come may, Time and the hour runs through the roughest day while a 19th
century writer, Nathaniel Hawthorne, profoundly observed that Time ies over
us, but leaves its shadow behind. The immense grief and pain that you will have
to endure will no doubt forever leave behind its marks, however, with time, these
wounds will heal and the scars will be a comforting reminder of where you have
been and what you went through.
[ 33 ]
Eulogy for Aunty
We have gathered here today to say nal goodbye to a beloved mother, sweet
mother-in-law, a kind grandma, a good friend, a mentor and a above all we are
here to celebrate the life of an extra ordinary human being. I stand before thee
on behalf of my friends sashi & family, Indra & family, Grace Aunty family and her
friends Rajesh aunty and my mom. We are all very fortunate to have had aunty in
our lives through her eldest daughter Bahie. Soon she became a mother to all of
us.
Briey, we would like to share with you our life experiences with aunty, our
memories that will last for ever, our friendship which we will take it to our graves.
She touched us all with her gentle smile, soft words, kind eyes and with her healing
touch. She reminded us all of a very traditional woman at rst sight. When we got
to know her deeply we were pleasantly surprised by the other side of aunty, well
hidden by gracefulness. WE were amazed by her depth of knowledge on various
matters. from the famous medical schools to the current world affairs, wealth of
her wisdom, her strong opinions based her character and values, the strong family
bond she created ad sustained. She marveled at the combination of strength and
gentleness.
If you knew aunty and uncle, you will understand why she left us all this soon.
We all knew the nature of their love which they shared through marriage, she was
his strength in this world and he couldnt survive a year without her in his next life.
Aunty kept talking about uncle every moment ever since his departure, now that
their journey is continued.
Aunty had a special way of relating to everyone who came in tough with her.
She reminded all our birth days and anniversaries. Her genuine love is rare to nd
these days. When she looked at us with her little sparkling eyes, we saw and felt
the genuine love, so powerful, so alive that calmed us all. She had a great sense of
humor. We loved her jokes. We have to always think before we laugh to her jokes.
By Sumi Praba
Contd. on page 34...
[ 34 ]
We loved her funny remarks that shed share very spontaneously, makes you
think again of what she has to say. She had a great sense of style, a unique are
for fashion. We admired how shed coordinate her sarees and jewellery. She was a
very classy woman that we all admired.
Even at this age, we were able to talk to her about latest trends in sarees and
jewllery. She would give us fashion tips from the serials & dramas she watches.
We would attend her house parties in sarees and costume jewllery and aunty will
quietly come to us. and without a smile she would tease us how much grams of
gold is this one, and then she enjoys seeing us cracking up.
She always commented on how we looked and what we wore. She made us
all feel important and appreciated. We thank you aunty immensely for your love
and friendship you generously shared with us. We all appreciated one of her great-
est qualities. She always demonstrated how to love and respect others for who
they are. We learned a valuable lesson from her, how to keep a family together,
her patience , perseverance, humbleness, forgiving nature, and unconditional love,
which laid the foundation for a united, strong and loving family that you see today.
Finally I want to share my last memorable moments with aunty in this world.
My brother passed away recently and aunty decided to visit my family, ignoring
her children reminding her of her poor health condition. It was just three weeks
ago that her fragile and feeble body walked through the doors of my home, along
with her children to share her sympathy with us, she hugged and kissed me several
times, reminded me how temporary the life is and that we need to move on and
that I shouldnt cry any more. She shared the lunch with us although she wasnt
feeling hungry or able to eat well. She was hardly able to walk. Little did we know
that it was our last meal with aunty that it was the last time we will hug her or
touch her. The next day we heard that she fell very ill and that her journey in this
life with us will end soon.
Aunty we miss you terribly and we want you to know that we love you so
very much. Thank you
(Text was read by Sumi Praba on August 12, 2014 during visitation hours at High-
land Funeral Home)
[ 35 ]
Fondly remembered
Aunty, you never said Im leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why.
There are no words to tell you
Just what I feel inside
The shock, the hurt, the anger
I cannot describe in words
They might gradually subside
Every time as I close my eyes and think of you
Your sense of humor, presence of mind and genuine smile
Immensely ll my conscious.
You never missed to wish every member of my family on their birthdays,
anniversaries and other special days.
You never failed
To appreciate beauty;
To nd the best in others
And profoundly you taught that to your dear children too.
I am glad that you were a part in my life
And I assure youll be
Fondly remembered always!
May God keep you in His peace
By Sashi Jeganathan:
[ 36 ]
Sacri ce in Silence;
A Tribute for my parents and their Generation
Ammah: Since god cannot be everywhere,
Everyone here has this most seless person in her or his own lives.
Her passing is irreplaceable and all the more difcult to bear when she had not
thought of seeing this day so soon a mere few weeks ago.
She borne the 4 of us for 10 months times 4, for 40 months, but didnt even
spare 4 weeks for us to care for her during this illness.
Ammahs time on earth would still be a fairy tale, although the destiny of end-
ing the journey here with this illness is amongst the toughest.
Ammah is condent about the journeys end, and she inculcates the teachings
of Gita in this regard.
Faith
While being ill, it gave her time to say good bye and even tell my sisters a few
days ago what color to wear today (for cremation), and her faith emerged only
stronger, as she wished for a quick close while being alert and dignied. That has
been realized and she is one sweetly graced.
Ammahs colour choice for this nal day is perhaps due to her father, Arumu-
gam Murugesu whom she called Aiyah. Our grandfather instilled the Lord of Be-
nevolence, Murugan as her cherished deity, who is dressed in green on the thear
(chariot) festival day at Nallur Kanthaswmay Temple in Jaffna. Though our grandfa-
ther, whom we called Appa, was a Lord Siva devotee and rarely went to any other
temples, he made an exception in arranging for an Abhishekam ritual at the Nallur
Kanthaswamy Temple annually on Sithirai Parani, the birth star of Ammah.
So when I say of my Ammah is like this and all, everyone can relate to their
own moms as well. Our heritage and adages tell that since god cannot be ev-
erywhere, therefore Ammah is created. Its also a tradition that places the entire
womanhood in the realm of motherhood.
Pristine
Ammahs life has been a journey of joy. To benet my sons, nieces, nephews
and for those blossoms of future, friends and all others, I want to recall Ammahs
K. Thirukumaran:
[ 37 ]
pristine beginnings.
She is the only child of my grandparents in Kalvayal, Chavakachcheri in North-
ern Sri Lanka.
The village Ammah grew up in is situated in the Southern part of the Jaffna
peninsula, and can be said as being more remote and less in terms of famous
schools than its northernmost counterpart, Vadamaradchi and Valikamam regions.
There was no electricity in the village, even during the early years I visited.
Yet, the region known as Thenmaradchi is very prosperous due to the abun-
dance of paddy elds that yield bountiful harvests even at times of seasonal rain
faltering. The sowing paddy (vithai nellu) from there was sought after all across Sri
Lanka those days in anticipation of a bumper crop everywhere. Ammah, Pappa
and both their families are lifelong vegetarians, like many others in Thenmaradchi.
Scholars say this is possibly due to inuence of Jainism and related migration to
the region.
Ammahs home in Kalvayal, hallmarking Jaffna peninsula homes is situated in
a grove of mango, jak fruit trees, lemon, pomegranate, coconut, palmyrah, margosa
trees amongst others and a water well surrounded by areca nut trees.
The town centre is lled with rice mills, goldsmiths and a grand farmers market
(Santhai) that met only on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. In the days preced-
ing and after the Tamil Thanksgiving Day, Thai Pongal, Pongal Santhai would grandi-
osely burst in prosperous sentiments.
The temples held regular festivals with fanfare. My grandfather was retired
after being a teacher in nearby Meesalai, when I was old enough to know him. I re-
member his evenings and nights of listening to All India Radio, Carnatic, light music
programs or religious topics, and his deliberations about them with his friends on
the verandah.
My Ammammah Visaladchy, my rst perception of how kind and generous a
person can be was with my grandmother, also retired after teaching in a school
nearby.
Ammah, though an only child, has numerous cousins. Many of them we knew
also lived in nearby Sangaththanai, popularly known for being the location of Cha-
vakachcheri Hindu College. From Kalvayal, Ammahs Aiyah sent her to this school
and later to Jaffna to Hindu Ladies College in Vannarpannai.
Boundless
When Ammah got married at the age of 21 to Pappa, she moved to Colombo.
Ammahs mission, like only a mother can do, is to spread her seless love to
the family. Our Ammah is extremely caring, and in the meantime, open minded
about our good-natured pursuits.
Ammah loves all arts, especially Tamil music, literature and dance. Ammah is an
[ 38 ]
avid reader and follower of prolic writers such as Rajaji, Bharathiyaar, Kalki Krish-
namoorthy, Ki. Va. Jagannathan, Akilan and Kannadasan. She likes the music in the
trinity of M.S. Subbulakshmi, D.K. Pattammal and M.L. Vasanthakumari.
One of her favorite singers is the rustic voiced rarity named A.L. Raghavan.
Nowadays, when I translate Tamil poems and works, I would often call Ammah
for help. If something needs further research, she would tell me paatthu sollu-
ran (I have to look it up), and get back to me with more than I needed to know,
resembling her boundless affection.
During my school years at D. S. Senanayake College, I remember Ammah wak-
ing up very early in the mornings, and through the night she would make at least 4
meals for us.
Around mid-morning, almost during the entire week, she would go to the
Bambalapitty Pillaiyar Temple and/or shopping at Wellawatte market for fresh
produce. Ammahs meals are loved by all. When she shared them with her dear
friends and neighbors like Mrs. Edith Pereira whom we called Nana, she would
bring to us her own goody such as homemade strawberry and wood apple jam.
Nana would hold both of Ammahs hands while exchanging pleasantries. Ammah
will now have such good company in her place of peace.
Ammah would always make me snacks to take to school even at the point
where I insisted it was not so cool to bring food from home. She would take
me to this tailoring shop that was the hardest ever to get to because she knew I
favored the way they stitched the trendiest garments. This was also the case when
there was an M.G. Ramachandran (MGR) starring matine, and when no one else
in the household would want to see the movie.
Separation
And when the time came that I had to separate from her to come to the USA,
I remember to this day, Ammahs eagerness for my betterment on that eve of
parting for a long time to come. That was exactly 30 years ago in August 1984.
There was no way to send an SMS or pay phone near the US Embassy in Col-
petty that I could use to inform her of the news about securing the US student
visa. Upon returning home, however, I remember Ammah sitting with her hands
clasped near the wide opened front door and looking towards the gate, awaiting
my arrival. She got up as soon as she saw me with her wet eyes once I told her
the news. This would mark the real beginning of my departure from Ammah up
until today.
This separation is symbolic of their generation. Although, I understand several
of us are accustomed to our relatives, friends and others undergoing even more
severe and darker forms of detachment from our homes and parents missing their
children.
[ 39 ]
Sacrice
Pappa on December 13, 2013 and Ammah during the early hours of August
10 left us. They departed from this world from the very same bed in the very
same room at home in Markham, Ontario. I still dont exert the feeling that its
permanent. Is it that having been not living near them for many years giving me
this false comfort, I think so.
They belong to a generation of parents who have made huge sacrices, espe-
cially a sacricial separation from their loved ones for the enhancement of their
childrens future. The generation I refer to are those noble souls, born anytime a
decade after the turn of the last century through the 1940s.
In going back to say 100 to 700 years, which of our previous generations
would have made a similar sacrice? There could have been many, as human his-
tory is a history of migration and separation. Although migration from the Indian
sub-continent has been prevalent during the last 200 years, my parents generation
endured a sacricial journey in the later part of their lives.
For those of us who are from the isle of serendipity, our parents generation
migrating in vast numbers, than the previous two, is truly phenomenal.
Without whom they are and what they were ready to put up with such as
limited mobility in starting a new life with their loved ones or being at distance
at home or another diaspora country, their sacrices are immense.
Light
Their sacrice is in silence to re-establish in a new land or circumstances in
their golden years. Nevertheless, they resourcefully adapted to the new environ-
ment.
I cant forget your sense of duty and how caring and kind you are Pappa and
Ammah, and I am only hoping I can be like you two and do justice for all the time I
am not able to be near you.
Now slowly but surely, we carry the ame. It is in the light of your blessings,
Ammah and Pappa that the wellbeing of us all is assured.
(Text was read by Thiru on August 12, 2014 during the visitation hours at
Highland Funeral Home)
[ 40 ]
Duty is the secret that gives life
to the soul
(Translation of Excerpt) Ammah wrote this in Tamil early this year, in the booklet we
published in remembrance of Pappa K. Thirukumaran
In the body awash with pity and affection, therein lies tear drops, amidst the
eyes. Tears are not a form of water. It is a miraculous compound. It is the birth-
place of light. It tightly bonds affection and relationships. We can express our
joyous sentiments surrounded by many. But must weep alone. The more the tears,
the more are its benets. This is why those who weep are fortunate and the
triumph of the tear attains divine status.
An important duty of humanity is paying the ritualistic tributes. It is the ances-
tors blessings that live long past through and towards well-being of future genera-
tions.
While it is important to worship our ancestors, it is the divine faith that needs
to be adhered to on a daily basis. The elders guide us with divine power. They must
be remembered with ritualistic duties annually. In accordance with todays circum-
stances from the roots, to branches and fruits of all ages and blooms must join
together as a family to rejoice in their memory. This will enable to foster boundless
love and affection.
When the duties are accomplished, the mind feels an emptiness, like a shrine
without the presence of divinity in the Altar. This is the destiny life reaches when
duties are fullled. Duty is the secret that gives life to the soul.
As said in Gita, Whatever happened, happened for the good; whatever is hap-
pening, is happening for the good; whatever will happen, will also happen for the
good only.
As said in Gita, Do your duty to the best of your ability, with your mind at-
tached, abandoning worry and selsh attachment to the results, and remaining
calm in both success and failure.
[ 41 ]
No regret whatsoever No Worries Krishna
By K. Thirukumaran
There are many translations of the Tamil devotional song Kurai Ondrumil-
lai penned by Chakravarti Rajagopalachari (10 December 1878 25 December
1972), the last Governor-General of India. A notable in-depth analytical translation
is on the Wikipedia by Gopalkrishna Gandhi. I attempt here a lucid translation of
the lyrics.
It is notable that one Tamil word Kurai applies to many nuances throughout
the song, but no single English word seems to be the right t.
The song is solitary evidence as to why Rev. Father Xavier S. Thaninayagam,
referred to Tamil as the language of Bhakthi, The devotion to the sacred and the
holy.
Though not enticing divine compassion in any form or shape, one is only satis-
ed at the bliss rendered. This is the essence of this magnicent Tamil devotional
song. The writer Chakravarti Rajagopalachari, known as Rajaji is revered by Ammah
and the rendition of this song by M. S. Subbulakshmi is among her favorites:
No regret whatsoever
Krishna, the lord of scriptures
No regret whatsoever, Krishna
No regret whatsoever, Govinda (No regret)
There being invisibly so Krishna
Though being invisible, Krishna for me
That didnt bring about any obstacle Krishna
The lord of scriptures Krishna
When there is Venkatesan to render what is needed
There is none else that is needed
The lord of scriptures Krishna
The Lord with awesome hue, Lord of the hills, Goivinda, Govinda
Krishna herein behind the screen you stand
Krishna herein behind the screen you stand Being
Visible to those learned chanters only
Krishna herein behind the screen you stand Being
Visible to those learned chanters only

Contd. on page 42...

[ 42 ]
Yet there isnt anything I need to worry about
Yet there isnt anything I need to worry about
Renderer, standing as granite sculpture in the hills
Renderer, standing as granite sculpture in the hills
There is no shortcoming, Krishna the lord of scriptures
There is no shortcoming, Krishna the lord of scriptures
The Lord with awesome hue, Lord of the hills, Goivinda, Govinda
To benevolent in day of misery you descended in granite sculpture and
Took permanent residence in the temple Kesava
To benevolent in day of misery, you descended in granite sculpture and
Took permanent residence in the temple Kesava So
There is no grievance whatsoever Krishna, the lord of scriptures
Lord of the hills, The one who would not turn-down anything
Lord of the hills, The one who would not turn-down anything
On your chest is gracious sea-like mother
To grant anything therein eternally then what can be worrisome for me?
To grant anything therein eternally then what can be worrisome for me?
Nothing I felt short Krishna, the lord of scriptures
Nothing I felt short Krishna, the lord of scriptures
The Lord with awesome hue, Lord of the hills, Goivinda, Govinda, Goivinda,
Govinda, Govinda
Goivinda, Govinda, Govinda, Govinda
SV Temple, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
[ 43 ]
Tirukkural: 1124
jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;
tho;jy; capu;f;fd;ds; Mapio rhjy;
mjw;fd;ds; ePq;Fk; ,lj;J.
fiyQu; ciu:
Ma;e;J Nju;e;j mupa gz;GfisNa mzpfydha;g; G+z;l
Mapio vd;NdhL $Lk;NghJ> capu; clNyhL $LtJ NghyTk;>
mts; vd;idtpl;L ePq;Fk;NghJ vd;Dapu; ePq;FtJ NghyTk;
czUfpNwd;.
Translation by Rev Dr G.U. Pope:
Life is she to my very soul when she draws nigh; Dissevered from the maid
with jewels rare, I die!.
My fair-jewelled one resembles the living soul (when she is in union with me),
the dying soul when she leaves me.
Special day for Ammah in Kalvayal
[ 44 ]
Tirukkural: 50
jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;
itaj;Js; tho;thq;F tho;gtd; thd;ciwAk;
nja;tj;Js; itf;fg; gLk;
K. tujuhrdhu; ciu:
cyfj;jpy; thoNtz;ba mwnewpapy; epd;W tho;fpwtd;>
thDyfj;jpy; cs;s nja;t Kiwapy; itj;J kjpf;fg;gLthd;.
Translation by Rev Dr G.U. Pope:
Who shares domestic life, by household virtues graced,
Shall, mid the Gods, in heaven who dwell, be placed
He who on earth has lived in the conjugal state as he should live,
will be placed among the Gods who dwell in heaven.
Pappa and Ammah

T
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W
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A
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A
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a
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GOD of Love, beauty and knowledge ~ Murugan
THANK YOU
The word Muruga is derived from the Tamil word Murugu which means honey, beauty,
fragrance and eternal youth. He is handsome, brilliant, elegant and enchanting. He
symbolises valour, youthfulness, benevolence and compassion.
We thank all of you for the heartfelt sympathies and messages of condolences on the
passing of our beloved Mother. Your time in thinking about us during our great loss goes
far in bringing solace. We thank and appreciate all the helping hands for assisting and
providing comfort to us in numerous ways since the time of her passing.
Children: Balakumaran, Baheerathy, Sivasakthy and Thirukumaran
Daughters & Sons-in-law: Shiranee, Kumar S. Sriskanda, K. Sivarajah and Nalene
Grandchildren: Harshini, Varun, Anushini, Vishalini, Praveen, Harrish, Danesh and Amarnath
Great-Granddaughter: Avandhi.
579 Highglen Avenue, Markham ON L3S 4N4 - (905) 472-0843
The annual grand Ther (Chariot) festival at Nallur Kanthaswmay (Murugan) Temple,
August 24, 2014 (pic courtesy of: facebook.com/nallur)




fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup
mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j
fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup
ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; fzgjpg;gps;is
mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j
epidT kyu;
Sculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA Sculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA
Front Cover: Gita Mural at Sri Venkateswara Temple, Bridgewater, New Jersey. USA:
Thy right is to work only, but never with its fruits; let not the fruits of actions be thy motive,
nor let thy attachment be to inaction
In memory of
(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)
Markham, Ontario
In memory of
Neelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai
(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)
Markham, Ontario