by Karl Bimshas

Stop Whining
Start Winning
in 21 Days or Less
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2010 by Karl Bimshas Copyright holder is licensing this under the Creative
Commons License, Attribution 3.0.
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us/
Photos from iStock.com and private collection.
The Stop Whining and Start Winning in 21 Days or Less program derives from
the book How to Stay When You Want to Quit; Re-scripting your life from
whiner to winner and is available at Amazon.com
Published by BimMedia, San Diego California
Feel free to post this on your blog or email it to
whomever you believe would benet from
reading it.
Thank you.
Why We Whine and How We can Win...FAST
Have you noticed that there are a lot of whiners in the world?
Some people whine about the economy, the government, the
NFL, their own ill-conceived New Years resolutions, their
faltering relationships, or their job.
Whine, whine, whine.
Do you whine? Yeah, you probably do, or you wouldnt be
reading this.
Over the next 21 days Im going to help you move from a
whiner to a winner. Key pieces of this guide have been adapted from my book, How to
Stay When you Want to Quit; Re-scripting your life from whiner to winner.
For the next 21 days, or faster if youre an overachiever, I will pose questions, exercises
and thought starters aimed at helping you get over yourself and get working on something
productive.
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Too harsh? Not for you? Then tell a friend or someone you love whos been going
through a tough time to check out this guide because Im condent theyll get something
from it that will help them stop their whining. Truly, so will you, even if you dont want to
admit it right now. I guarantee theres something going on in your life that youve been
whining about. So how bout you cut it out. Its time to make things better.
As you work your way through the next 21 days youll nd ideas that you can apply to
virtually any job and any position in any organization. I use the word organization
throughout this guide. You can substitute company, family, group, posse, whatever works
for you.
Good luck and have fun on this journey. You are about to take control of your approach
and attitude toward life.
Lets get going!
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Day 1 - Where are you now?
Imagine youve just nished a day of work
1. How are you feeling right now?
2. When you look in the mirror, describe whom you see.
3. What do you think you sounded like to people who may have overheard your
conversations today?
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4. Is your job fun? Why or Why not?
5. Whats changed from the rst day you started your job? (Was it your job that
changed, or you?)
6. What if neither you nor your job changed? Would you be happy to keep doing
what youre doing now for the next ve years? (If no, you must learn to recognize,
respond and thrive with change.)
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7. Do you have a sense of purpose in what you do? Why or Why not? (If you do have
a sense of purpose, what is it? Are you living on purpose?)
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Day 2 - Come on, Get Happy
Look outside your work. Is there anything making you happy?
Find something that has nothing to do with your present
condition. Look for a diversion, something different that gets you
up and going, gets you excited.
Wouldnt it be cool to feel excited or passionate about something?
List three things that currently make you happy.
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1)
2)
3)
Did you have trouble picking three things?
Heres a tip that may help. Think about what makes you laugh out loud. Cant remember
the last time you laughed out loud? Start paying attention. Keep a log or jot down
memories that make you laugh. Refer to them often. Some other things to try;
1. Listen to upbeat music.
2. Listen to inspirational speeches, sermons, podcasts or books.
3. Hang out with happy people.
Remember, you want to feel better, dont you? Then get excited about this.
Write down the things that make you happy. Figure out how to spend more time with
the things and people that lift your spirits.
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Day 3 - Defending Your Happy Place
If youve given it some thought and paid close attention to
your emotions, youll eventually nd your happy place.
This place or thing is going to become a major touchstone
for you. It is going to be able to bring a smile across that
sourpuss face of yours. Youre going to do your
daydreaming about this place. It will spur you into action
and ultimately get you through the day.
Your sanctuary may be as large as your home or perhaps
its a favorite seat at the local coffee shop. It might be a
stretch of beach or a particular bench in the park. If you
havent identied it yet now is the time to nd your happy
place, your peaceful spot, somewhere to contemplate life.
It might not be a concrete place for you. It might be time. Time spent with family and
friends, or reading a book or painting. Either way itll ll a spot in your heart and youll
need to nurture it with strong love, time and appreciation.
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Know your happy place, its there youll nd a sense of peace, happiness and excitement.
Thats why you need to nurture it, to make it strong enough to defend itself in your
absence.
What or where is your happy place?
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Day 4 - So, You Wanna Be A Star
Sometimes you come across people who feel that what theyre
doing is just a job. They dont feel like they get enough and they
even think theyre owed something. Their job is a mismatch for
them. The person should go away because they bring Low Value
to the team. They are a Greatness Inhibitor.
Some people wish things could be better. They may not love what
theyre doing, but it pays the bills and they at least have some
ambition. Theyve had moments of greatness and liked how it felt. These people should
place themselves where they can make the greatest contribution, because right now
theyre of Moderate Value to the team, but they are Potential Stars.
To make dramatic improvements, start hanging out around the people who see
possibility. They often problem-solve away from work and have a mutual feeling that their
job enriches a part of their life and part of their life enriches the job. Begin to imitate
them because they are rare; they are the leaders. They feel obligated to continue to
perform and enrich themselves and others. They are Highly Valued Stars.
Review the Value Matrix below. Which one best describes where you are today? What
are you going to do to progress through the Value Matrix to ensure you stay or become a
highly valuable star?
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Day 5 - Complaining is Fun
We all like to tell people how weve been
wronged. And if we havent been wronged
badly enough we like to embellish it a little so
everyone knows the pain we are feeling. Its a
victim mentality that gives us needed attention.
Think about it. When you hear other people
complain about their situation, dont you think
of all the alternatives that person could have
done to avoid their pain? Dont you think, even
if just briey, that they sound like a pathetic
loser?
What do you regularly complain about?
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When you feel lost and act like youre oundering there may be somedays you feel like
all the smart people have left your organization. Actually, the smart people have modied
their attitudes to match their new circumstances. Can you identify them? Are they in
your circle? They need to be. They can be the lifeline that stops you from sinking any
further.
Who are these people? Try to identify ve.
How are you going to spend more time with each of them?
Make the time now to plan your approach using the log below.
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Day 6 - Beware the Three Donkey Day
Believe it or not, people are generally good. Very few wake
up each morning and commit to screwing you in some way.
You need to beware the Three Donkey Day. If during the
course of your day you nd yourself encountering three
separate people you feel are complete donkeys, then its
probably you who is being the ass. Take a deep breath and
keep your mouth shut before you make a bigger fool of
yourself than you already have.
When was the last time you came across three donkeys?
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Reecting back on that day, who was the biggest donkey? (If it wasnt you, you may
want to think again or ask someone who was with you.)
Knowing what you now know, what will you do different in the future?
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Day 7 - Dont Blame It On Burnout When Youre
the Arsonist
You may think youre burnt out, but dont blame it on
burnout when youre the arsonist. When you moan and
groan to the people who are putting up with you and all your
crap and say youre feeling burnt out, it ticks them off
because its a load of garbage. As a human being you are
capable of sustaining a lot of real pain and hardship.
Youre blessed with a brain that has the capacity to solve
almost any problem set before it. You are just being lazy. You
dont want to hear it but at its core its true.
Sure its hard. Its like a bowl of leftover food you come across in the refrigerator. Maybe
you dont like what you see, but you need to do something with it. Youve got choices.
1. You can try to change it into something more palatable.
2. You can choose to ignore it for a little while anyway.
3. You can choose to get rid of it. Move on and nd something else.
The same applies to you and your job.
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Which do you choose?
Change It
Ignore It
Get Rid of It
Maybe youre frustrated. Sometimes its hard to get motivated to do anything. People are
intrinsically motivated by one or more of three things.
1. Personal growth and development,
2. Enhancing an important relationship,
3. Working on something bigger than ourselves and leaving a legacy.
What motivates you?
Personal Growth
Important Relationships
Legacy
If you need to get better control of your attitude, surrounding yourself with positive
people is an obvious start. Each morning its up to you. You can wake up, drag yourself
out of bed, look out the window and say, Good Lord, its morning or you can hop up,
take a deep breath and say, Good morning Lord.
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Day 8 - Making a Positive Difference
As you begin to realize what it was that you had wanted
to do in the rst place, you may feel a growing
frustration. Perhaps you feel that the people around you
are not moving fast enough. Theyre not making the
same self-discoveries that you are and it is beginning to
tick you off.
By now you should be convinced that if you continue to
behave in the same glum manner you have been acting,
you will build momentum and speed toward a much-
deserved outcome. Unfortunately, that outcome will
probably not be a positive one. Youre not doomed, but
you need to change your approach toward the people
you work with and it doesnt have to be complicated.
As a start, in true servant-leadership fashion, you should
begin to ask others, What one thing can I do for you
that will most help you make a positive difference?
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You see, you probably owe your coworkers more than youve been giving them. You
should ask a few questions of yourself rst. Once you know your own answers begin
asking the same of your coworkers one on one. Honestly answering these questions will
create a positive and proactive buzz, the likes of which you probably have not seen in
quite a long time.
With that newfound energy you can then direct the momentum that will give you far
greater odds of reaching a satisfying destination.
In this activity your leadership not your management, is crucial. It is important to reect
on some biblical wisdom that the shepherd is there for the ock, not the other way
around.
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Day 9 -Why Are You Still Here?
Ask yourself, Why am I still here? Keep
probing until one or more of the three intrinsic
motivators are revealed.
For Personal Development.
Because of enriching experiences with
others.
To work on leaving a legacy.
Why are you still here?
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Now, dene your primary learning style.
Are you Action-Oriented? Are you likely to roll up your sleeves and get to it,
preferring to learn through trial and error?
Are you People-Oriented? Do you like to confer with others who may have
experienced the problem prior to you?
Are you Information-Oriented? Are you among the rst to look for the training
manual or some type of reference documentation?
What is your primary learning style?
Its important to recognize that in business you need to be equally successful in three
areas, Customer Satisfaction, Employee Satisfaction and Protable Revenue Growth.
These are the three legs to the stool that you are resting your career on. If the stool is
wobbling x a leg before you fall off.
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In which of these areas do you feel you could make the greatest positive impact?
Customer Satisfaction
Employee Satisfaction
Prot Revenue Growth
Now, review all the choices that you made and answer the question, What am I going
to do tomorrow to get started?
Review your answers. Find linkages and hold yourself to your commitments. Be open to
the answers and make it your mission to respond to the requests of anyone brave enough
to provide you with honest feedback.
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Day 10 - Fix Whats Wrong
It takes true commitment to change.
Doing it even if its hard or you
dont feel like it. The world is lled
with enough poor leaders who
negatively affect the lives of other
people. You must keep your
commitments to others at all costs.
This is about responsibility and
applies to anyone who has formal or
informal inuence over a team of
people. As a leader, people depend
on you. Anyone you come in contact
with you affect or inuence in some way. If you are not totally and completely there,
you cannot protect your people from downsizing or a corporate initiative that everyone
knows is foolhardy. Unless you exert a positive inuences, these changes, will fester and
resentment will grow and that would be catastrophic.
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Do not let it happen! Protect your people by any means required. Focus on improving
their jobs, outlook, and life. If youre lucky youll feel better about yourself too. If not,
well at least youre not the dead weight dragging everyone else down.
You might be so completely apathetic as to have adopted the, So what, I dont care,
what difference does it make? attitude. That might be one of your problems. Its
important that you nd something to start to care about. To know that you can make a
difference and in fact its your human responsibility.
When something is wrong and you know its wrong or there is a direct or indirect assault
to your values, beliefs, mission, goals or people, you need to ght back. Do what is right
even if its not correct. Find a role make a difference. Dont complain express. Take a
stand.
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Day 11 - Check Your Vision
If youve been doing the recommended exercises to this point,
youve probably been hitting some emotions you didnt know
you still had and hopefully its been challenging and invigorating
to you. Hold on to that because you need to pay attention to
those feelings and ght for what you need.
Lobby for change. Be brave and run to things not away from
them. Operate from a position of inner strength not external
weakness. You are better than the problem that is set before you.
If youre still here working through this, you must care and truly want to make a
difference. Good for you! Now, can you dene it? What is the difference you truly want
to make? You wont have to try hard; the answer is sitting right on the surface. Something
is spurring you on. Theres a vision you have that is aching to be realized. Now is the
time to breathe some new life into it.
What lofty ideal do you want to achieve? Dont be put off by other peoples denition of
lofty. Your vision has to be seen through your eyes rst. Make it a good one.
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Write down or draw your vision or picture of success.
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Day 12 - Crumbs and Spilled Drinks
When people ask, How are you? dont mumble,
Fine. When they ask, Can I do anything to help?
dont say, No. Seek and ye shall nd, ask and ye shall
receive.
Very little will drop in your lap. Come to think of it, the
things that normally drop in peoples laps are crumbs
and spilled drinks and the answers to your challenges
arent in that!
Begin to tell people forcefully, calmly, professionally what you need them to do, so you
can do your job. Let them know if they cant provide excellence, it will be difcult for
you to deliver excellence.
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Day 13 - Ask for Help
It may be time to start looking for something new tap
the network. Ask for help. People like helping people
reach their goals. Know your goal.
Goals are easy to nd. What things do you do at work
that you enjoy? Working with people? Creating
presentations? Analyzing data? Every time you nd that
passion, pay attention to yourself and see what you
respond to. Spend more time doing that. Can you
describe how it feels? Probably pretty darn good. Enjoy it.
Relish it. Do everything you can to repeat it. Ignore,
delegate or trade the rest if you can because its the passion-inducing moments that are
going to bring you happiness and personal success. People like to follow leaders who are
passionate and competent so keep working on your skills and your strengths.
Dont get lazy. Know your strengths. Dig up any number of personal assessments or ask
ve people who you interact with daily what they think your strengths are. Look for
themes that are repeated and begin to focus on those things. Rene your strengths. Let the
others atrophy you werent built to do them anyway so dont worry about them.
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Day 14 - Find the Upside
Make sure your network is not the only thing
working. The sh dont always bite; the ball
does not always go through the hoop. Changing
your attitude takes effort too. Whats going on in
your world that you can use to your benet?
Act like the boy who walked into a room full of
horse manure. While his father grimaced and
plugged his nose, the cheery boy excitedly
proclaimed, Theres got to be a pony in here
somewhere.
So get optimistic and turn everything into an upside. Make a game of it. When you do, a
boring training class becomes a test of endurance. Got a thick new policy manual to
read? Time to practice speed-reading. Youre a champion problem solver! Keep a log of
the problems you successfully solve each day. Track and improve your average. Measure
progress.
You need to make time for yourself. Take a break from the madness. If you can, get away
for a while, even if its just for an afternoon or a lunch hour. Get away from your job and
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work on something else. Anything. Make the best grocery list the world has ever seen.
Wax your car. Clean your closet. Play. Go buy a set of Lego Bricks and build something.
Just make sure youre active and that youre engaging as many of your senses as you
can. Sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream watching reruns of Friends does not
count. You need to move your mind, body and heart. When youre done, there needs to
be something you can look at with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Go do
it. Then answer the question below.
What did you do that moved your mind, body and heart?
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Day 15 - What Do You Want?
Take an inventory of what it is you want. It is readily
available or do you have to go someplace else for it?
Would you?
Maybe youve gotten comfortable with all your
complaining. People seem to be giving you pity and
youve been playing a great victim. Keep it up and you
could keep doing what youve been doing until you retire
or die, whichever comes rst.
But thats no way to live, so how about spending some
time working on you? What do you want to do with
yourself? Youve got to have a clue. Reach back into your
childhood if you need to.
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What did you want to be when you grew up? Why?
Examine that in todays context. Is it still appealing? If not, why not? If yes, then why the
heck arent you doing it now?
Think of yourself as an actor on a television show. You want to contribute toward getting
high ratings each week so the show avoids cancellation; you want to get renewed each
season. So, you act and perform in a way that leads to the shows success and you
eventually earn awards. Remember, you want to be a Highly Valued Star, not a Greatness
Inhibitor.
Go ahead; list your ten best excuses for not pursuing your dreams. Write them down.
Prioritize them just like you would your goals. Next, problem-solve them. Get rid of the
barriers. Those SOBs are keeping you from your dream.
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Day 16 - Review Where Weve Been
Lets take a moment to review where
weve been and notice how far youve
already progressed. The rst thing you
needed to do was acknowledge and
honor the change that was occurring
around you. You had to gure out how
you were going to deal with it and learn
how to get happy. Once you identied
that, you had to be prepared to defend
and protect the things that made you
happy.
Next, you needed to beware of the Three Donkey Day. You learned that it was foolish to
blame what you were going through on burnout when you were acting like an arsonist.
You had a choice. You could change, ignore things for a little while, or move on, but you
had to do something. You rediscovered what motivates you and remembered the way
you felt when you rst got your job and why you wanted it in the rst place. And that it
was up to you to choose your attitude and approach.
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You needed to become less selsh so you began asking people, What one thing can I do
for you that will most help you make a positive difference? If you found people were
being negative you started to challenge them, asking them why they were still doing what
they were doing. You gured out your learning style and began to identify in yourself, and
others the places where you could begin to make the most positive impact; in customer
satisfaction, employee satisfaction or protable revenue growth. You knew that talking
about it was a good start, but not enough, so you built weekly action plans around each
goal. You know its crucial to set goals with measurements and timelines, accomplishing
them without that is more luck than effort.
You learned that you needed to protect your people at all costs. To improve their jobs,
their outlook and in fact, their lives was one of your key roles. Youve learned to run to
things not away from things. You now understand that its better to operate from a
position of strength not weakness as you continue to identify your vision. It makes sense
that people like to follow people who are passionate and competent and because of that
you continuously rene your strengths.
It wasnt easy. You had to consciously get optimistic and turn everything into an upside.
You trained yourself to nd the pony in nearly every situation. It helped a lot to list your
ten best excuses for not doing something to see how foolish you were truly acting.
Now youre ready to learn about The Four Musts.
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Day 17 - Strong and Pervasive Leadership
The Four Musts are the things every organization, family or
team need for optimal performance. Now that youre a winner
your role is to act as curator for each of the musts. The rst
must is about a leadership.
There must be a strong leader and strong, pervasive
leadership.
Charisma is not leadership, although it can act as a helpful tool
to quickly gain the acceptance of an audience. Effective
leaders share a passion for and a record of accomplishments.
Strong leadership is demonstrated daily by a person or a group of people who are honest,
forthright, markedly visible and approachable.
Leaders fulll their insatiable need to be out in front regularly. When not actually walking
on the front lines then they talk with people who work there, both in town hall
meetings and in one-on-one settings. They remember that just as the shepherd is there for
the benet of the ock, leadership is there to serve the people and they take that
responsibility seriously.
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Do you have a passion for a record of accomplishment?
What are your top three accomplishments?
1)
2)
3)
How often do you talk to people who are on the front lines of your organization?
Its one thing to talk like a leader quite another to act like one.
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Day 18 - The Vision Thing
The organization must have a repeatable
compelling vision and sense of purpose.
If possible it should be a clear and concise
singular vision. Every activity that the
organization tackles must be able to foster a
closer linkage to that compelling vision. It
must be memorable and easily repeatable so
that every message, action and strategy
supports the purpose with their obvious
connections.
The clarity of the vision should be worded and promoted in a way that others can
understand, support, be excited by, grow some passion around, and be inventive in
discovering numerous ways to achieve that purpose. Too often people spend too much
time and energy trying to create a literary masterpiece instead of a clear, easy to follow
and understand vision. Its a terrible waste of resources.
Leadership is about inspiring people not tiring people and putting them to sleep.
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Does your organization have a repeatable compelling vision and sense of purpose? (If it
does, what is it?)
Does it excite you or anyone else?
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Day 19 - Overwhelming Optimism
There must be a sense of overwhelming optimism.
The compelling vision is not only the day to day, heres
what we need to do and why, but the over arching, here
is our place on earth, heres our legacy, heres the good
that we wish to do. Living that is what creates a legacy.
Knowing that is what helps create positivism.
That positive approach has to be all-encompassing.
Tolerance of rampant apathy or negativism is a weakness.
If optimism is not visible in practice, alarms should
sound and priority given to overcoming whatever the
obstruction may be.
This does not forego the crucial role of devils advocate and challenging viewpoints
but to leave negative feelings or remarks unchecked, even in the simplest day to day
transactions, is to enable the contagion. Counter the virus with positive encouragement
and recognition. You dont want to be a Pollyanna with everything that can be just as
dangerous. But negativity is an acid that corrodes everything. It must be neutralized.
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Are you more optimistic now than before you started this program?
How do you handle apathy or negativism when you encounter it? (What more could
you do?)
How do you recognize those who are positive?
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Day 20 - Meaningful Recognition
There must be a regular diet of meaningful recognition.
Positive reinforcement, thanks and praise are the nutritional
components of a healthy workforce, the helium that lifts the
organizational balloon to new heights. It is a currency that
many organizations are afraid of spending yet its value can
be limitless. Ignoring it, or withholding it until the perfect
moment, can result in at worst, a bankruptcy of human
potential, and at best, leave people with a feeling of
emotional deciency.
All people want to do a good job, regardless of which
motivations they declare to be driven by; the rewards of
learning new experiences, enhancing important relationships
or legacy building. People will respond to those who notice
what they have already contributed with an even greater performance.
Its amazing. Many times people think about thanking people for a job well done but
thinking is not the same as doing it. The best of intentions are still only intentions. To
make an impact you must actually do something.
Make a plan and recognize people for the good things theyre doing.
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Day 21 - Final Thoughts
Here we are at Day 21!
For the last three weeks I posed a series of questions, exercises and thought starters aimed
at helping you get over yourself and get working on something productive.
Im sure you found concepts that can apply to virtually any job and any position in any
organization. Maybe it provided inspiration to begin moving your mind in a more positive
direction.
My intention of these last 21 days was to help inspire you to maximize your strengths and
continuously improve yourself and your organization by using the powers of vision,
passion and action. I believe doing so can, in some way, help positively energize our
nation and contribute to greater peace, prosperity, fun, understanding, responsibility and
liberty in the world.
Now its up to you. Its time to put yourself back in the drivers seat of your career and
your life and begin pursuing the dreams, hopes, and aspirations that youve been
moaning about all this time. People believe in you. I believe in you. Now, believe in
yourself and get to work.
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Share your comments, progress or tips on the
Reections on Leadership blog, the Karl Bimshas
Consulting page on Facebook or on Twitter using
the #whiner21 tag.
Heres where to learn more about Karl Bimshas Consulting
and nding the a-ha within:
Email: Karl@karlbimshas.com
Web: www.karlbimshas.com
Blog: www.reectionsonleadership.com
Call: 619.717.6204
Write: Karl Bimshas Consulting
P.O. Box 83983
San Diego, CA 92138-3983
About the Author
Karl Bimshas is the author of several business and
inspirational books and programs (available on amazon)
designed for leaders and artists who want to achieve more.
He owns an independent consultancy that helps professionals
discover the a-ha within themselves and their organizations.