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Satan's
Jock-Strap.
Cooking them alive,
because the fear
adds flavor.
And in the presence
of others.
Bitch, where's m
mone!"
Bus driver, upper-
cuts.
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#hat *+ot So $resh
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(otherfucking
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cats
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A tin dog humping
everthing in its
path
Ale1 #rebek A haunted carousel
A fanc space
whore
A cheese-grater to
the dick
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prophec
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#hai kick-fucking
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Beekeeping in the
nude
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$arting so hard it
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detector
#abasco Sauce in
our urethra
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6ictorian doll house
with working
plumbing and
electricit
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&ibert and ;ustice
for all
-issing on
everthing ou love
A #-0e1 caught in a
cclone helplessl
flailing its tin arms
A solid foot-;ob Absolutel $uck-All
A man si:ed
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3aving assholes
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5runk toddlers
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Cum Dumpster 2 Girls 1 Cup One trillion dollars
Cunt 50 Shades of Grey Oprah's Va-Jay-Jay
Cutting his di! off "0's #ush Our homeless
$eterans
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Da$id %asselhoff & '0 year old (ho is
hot in a (eird (ay
)aris %ilton
dead puppies & *ag of +il!y ,ays )C)
Defying the la(s of
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& #ar-mit-$ah )edophilia
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Detroit & #eat so fresh. it
/ust might destroy
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)enguin orgy
Diarrhea & #ith slap )enis implants
Diso$ering you're
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anni#al gathering
& #ithy email from
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Disgruntled &pple
fan#oys
& #la! hole )erforming se0 ats
learned from 1r#an
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Do(n's Syndrome & #u!et of angry
tiger u#s
)ooping in the soup
Dressing up in
#la!fae
& #ushy mustahe )opeye's Chi!en
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Semiti les#ians
& ar trun! full of
hot. glistening tripe
)rison 4ape
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Dropping your
i)hone into a urinal
& hainmail #i!ini )rosti-tots
Drun!-te0ting an e0 & heap motel )u#li restrooms
5ast 3ndians & heesy disharge )uns that aren't
funny
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5ating the yello(
sno(
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first date
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5llen Degeneres & day are 6ight
Clu#
7ueef 8atifah
5nouraging
hildren to eat lead
paint hips
& dead hoo!er 7uoting +onty
)ython
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a #us full of hildren
(hen you pass it
& dildo 4andy ger#ils
totally ma!ing you
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5tsy & dude in a thong 4eading 4ain#o(
5ugenis for fun
and profit
& failed a#ortion 4ealdoll o(ners
5uropeans & fat ass in spande0 4eality tele$ision
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5uthanasia & foul mouthed
6ur#y
4eali-ing too late
that there's no toilet
paper left
50ruiatingly
graphi Soni the
%edgehog fan
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6aith healing & glass /ar (ith a
preser$ed t(o-
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4iding the short #us
6arting into your
pettioats and
(afting it at 8ord
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#an!
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6ellatio & %ello 9itty
$i#rator
4odent fees
6eminists (ith faial
hair
& hilarious failed
suiide attempt
4on Jeremy's penis
finding out that your
lo$er is gay
& horse (ith a
#oner
4otting el!
arasses
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6inding your
roommate passed
out (earing a lo(n
ostume in a pu#li
#athroom
& hus#and 4usty :rom#one
6inishing off a pint
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!no(ing you'd ha$e
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$adge
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6irst (orld
pro#lems
& man shot o$er a
game of dominoes
Sand in +y Vagina
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6istng & man-si-ed
hamster (heel
Saying 23
disappro$e of (hat
you say. #ut 3 (ill
defend to the death
your right to say it2
(hen you !no( you
(ouldn't
6leshlights & +aury )o$ith
paternity test
Sea#irds strangled
#y plasti si0-pa!
rings
6orgetting the safe
(ord
& millionaire (ith a
heart of gold
Seondhand adult
diapers
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6or(arding your
grandmother all
your eretile
dysfuntion pill
spam
& molester
mustahe
Self-diagnosed
&sperger's
Syndrome sufferers
6rantially li!ing
pitures of ats on
the internet
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6red )helps #eing
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>ot *y?
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6ree andy from
strangers
& pa! of +entos
and a t(o-liter #ottle
of Diet Co!e
Se0ual
e0perimentation in
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6ront #utt & pearl ne!lae Sha!en *a#y
Syndrome
6u! =ou & person (ho is a
douhe #ut still hot
Sharting
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6u!ing magnets.
ho( do they (or!@
& piAata full of
sorpions
Sheep
6u!ing (hile
(athing
Shindler's 8ist
& porn star (ith
daddy issues
Sho(ing up to an
orgy for the food
6urries =eah.
6urries
& prostheti leg Sipping artifiial
poporn #utter
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Gaining 100 pounds
after you get
married
& raist unle Slaughtering
innoent hildren
Gay o(#oys eating
pudding
& really ugly #a#y Sla$ery
Gay for pay & ru##er sna!e Slutty nuns
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Gay +idget Don!ey
)orn
& rusty trom#one Smelly hippies
Gay :(ilight )orn & sadisti dentist Smelly Vaginas
Gay-marrying your
prison rapist
& self-fulfilling
prophey
Smurf-on-smurfette
ation
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Genital (arts & suspiiously
on$enient plot
de$ie
Snithing
Ger#ils & tele$angelist
getting aught
pi!ing up male
prostitutes
Snoo!is Vagina
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2unfriended2 on
6ae#oo!
& time mahine Spea!ing 5nglish
instead of &merian
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Getting a lapdane
from %ilary Clinton
& toddler-si-ed
offin
SBuirrel-on-(hale
ation
Getting angry at
something /ust to
pass the time
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ta0 #rea!s
Getting unfriended
#y your mom on
6ae#oo!
& $intage olletion
of 9ir!-Spo!
slashfi
Stealing *a#ies
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Getting =our )eriod
6or :he 6irst :ime
& (et (illy Stealing
,heelhairs
Giant sBuid & (heelhair death
rae
Stepping in gum
Gingers & (hiny :aylor S(ift
song a#out a guy
sre(ing her o$er
Stepping on a
hair#all (ith a #are
foot
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Girl Souts on
steroids
& (ife Stigmata
Girls Gone ,ild & (isera!ing
terrorist
Stormtroopers
Girls (ho souldn't
go (ild
& (i-ard's slee$e Stunt o!
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Gi$ing o$er to the
dar! side
& (oman sorned Su#ur#an hain
restaurants
God %ates =ou & (oman sorned Su!ing some di!s
to not get drafted
Going on a )op-:art
#ender
& yeast infetion Suiidal 6o0onn
employees
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Going to #la!
friday sales at Cam
&identally se0ting
your mom
S(ingers
%air in the sho(er
drain
&dult diapers Synhroni-ed
Snee-ing
%a$ing a )hD in
'e0perimenting' (ith
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%a$ing dinner (ith
your e0
&mputee se0 :a!ing a dump in
the #all pit at Chu!
5 Cheese
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#o(l of /ello
&n attrati$e midget :a!ing #ody shots
off your mom
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foot#all (ay too
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%elen 9ellerDs
Dri$ing shool
&n 50plosion of
Juies in +y +outh
:een )regnany
%ello 9itty &n unomforta#ly
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%erpes &nal (arts :hai 8ady *oys
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%oarders &sians :hat feeling (hen
you enounter a
handiapped person
(aiting for you to
lea$e the largest
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grandma (hile you
ha$e an eretion
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she's due and
finding out she's not
pregnant
:hat stuff #et(een
your toes
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%uman sarifie &ss-to-mouth :he F11 :ruther
mo$ement
%unting aidents &ssholes :he anient martial
art of 6lung )oo
%ymen
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surgery
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&meria
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3 lo$e you &theists and
agnostis
:he ast of Jersey
Shore
3'm friends (ith your
dad on 6ae#oo!
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ity
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3mpro$ised
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:he Ci$il ,ar
3ndeent e0posure *a#y pigs (earing
people lothes
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3nfuriating
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hild
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*ono
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3roni faial hair *ea &rthurDs Saggy
*oo#s
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light
Ja!ass 1F year
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Ja!ing off to
Saturday morning
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:hat's ,hy
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Say 2>i2E
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Jerry Sandus!yDs
Seurity *lan!et
*ed#ugs :he lonliest *rony
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Jo! 3th *eing 2a little
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reurring (et dream
*eing friends (ith
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9i!ing a man (hile
he's :e#o(ing
*eing 4aped *y &
+oose
:he seond time 3
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9i!ing )uppies *eing turned on #y
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8adies' under(ear
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$ending mahine
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8olats *inders full of
(omen
:his is a test
8osing your
$irginity to someone
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*la! Jesus :his is (hat 3'm
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8ying to a girl to get
her to put out
*la!ing out :hree and a half
#a#ies
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8ying to terminally
ill hildren a#out
their life e0petany
*lood diamonds :hree &sian
strippers. t(o porn
stars. and a
suitase full of #lo(
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+-m-m-mo!ing st-
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+a!ing a girl pay on
the first date
*oo#s that sag
do(n to her !nees
:hro(ing up in your
mouth
+a!ing lo$e to a
really se0y sheep
*othed faelift :i!le +e 5lmo
+ale pregnany *otulism :ime tra$el
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+an *oo#s *oy #ands :oast (ith the
#urned image of
Our 8ord and
Sa$ior. Jesus Christ
+astur#ating ,ith
Glue
*rea!ing into a -oo
to steal a mon!ey
:oenail fungus
+e in a thong *reast Caner :ossing Salad
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+eha-%itler *reath so #ad that
your #utt is mad at
your mouth
:ra$eling #a! in
time to #eome your
o(n grandparent
+eha%itler *unnies :riangle *ush
+el Gi#son's sanity *urning in hell :rying to #e nie
(hile desri#ing a
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+etal Gear *urning (hen you
pee
:una noodle
asserole
+ihigan *utt ane :(inest
+ista!ing a retarded
person for someone
(ho's merely deaf
*utt %air 1gly +e0ian
hoo!ers
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+isunderstood
pedophiles
*utter 1nonditional lo$e
+o!ing autisti
hildren #eause
they don't ha$e
feelings
*utthurt 1nderage
osplayers in
#ondage gear
+on!eys 6u!ing Canned tuna (ith
e0tra dolphin
1nidentifia#le spots
on your di!
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+other :heresa's
rotting orpse
Cards &gainst
%umanity
1nironi :e#o(ing
+otherfu!ing
Cthulhu
Carrot :op's pes Vagina dentata
+uhammed &li Cartoon pussy Vitims of lead-
#ased paint
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+usles Cele#rity #ea$er
shot
Vorpal Dildo of
5nlightenment I2
+uslims Cellophane
under(ear
,ar rimes
+y di! in a #o0 Charlie Sheen ,athing a :(ilight
mo$ie on purpose
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+y hopes and
dreams
Childrens' ruthes ,earing e0tra thin
pants for a strip
lu# lap dane
>C3S 6anfition Chimpan-ees (ith
anger management
issues
,earing the genitals
of a defeated enemy
around your ne! as
a trophy
>e$er #eing a#le to
loo! your dog in the
eyes again
Chris 6arley
seduti$ely ru##ing
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