www.genderspecLrum.org 310-788-4412 lnfo[genderspecLrum.

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1. urpose of our meeLlng
a. WanL you Lo know _________'s reallLy and experlence as a gender-expanslve or Lransgender chlld
b. 1o come Lo some agreemenLs and commlLmenLs abouL how we wlll work LogeLher Lo ensure
__________ has a poslLlve and successful experlence aL school
c. Clarlfy whaL l can expecL from school, lncludlng how you wlll geL Lhe necessary lnformaLlon for sLaff,
parenLs, and sLudenLs abouL gender dlverslLy
d. l would llke Lo leave here Loday knowlng LhaL you undersLand _________'s slLuaLlon on a really
deep level. 1haL you undersLand Lhe sLakes and wlll lead accordlngly
e. Clarlfy speclflc lssues lncludlng resLroom and/or changlng room access, usage of preferred name
and pronouns, sLudenL records and forms, lssues of prlvacy, safeLy plans and conLlngencles

2. PlsLory of _________'s gender-expanslve ldenLlLy
a. erslsLenL/conslsLenL
b. lrom Lhe age of________
c. (lf appllcable) noL wanLs or wlshes s/he were a glrl/boy, s/he !( a glrl/boy
d. ?ou may Lhlnk LhaL Lhls ls a cholce or someLhlng LhaL has been caused.lL ls noL! 1hls ls slmply who
my chlld ls.
e. l have noL chosen Lhls paLh for my chlld, lL ls golng Lo be dlfflculL
f. SomeLlmes l wlsh lL weren'L Lrue, noL because ashamed buL because scared.

3. Why am l scared? Cender-expanslve klds ln general and Lransgender klds ln parLlcular
a. Plgher raLes of sulclde, vlcLlmlzaLlon from vlolence, drop ouL, Plv, homelessness, drug use. Also
lower achlevemenL levels, lower expecLaLlons abouL college aLLendance or for happlness as an adulL
b. Why? 8ecause Lhere ls someLhlng wrong wlLh Lhem? AbsoluLely noL. klds whose very essence ls
re[ecLed.
c. We know from research LhaL when supporLed, gender-expanslve klds have very brlghL prospecLs
d. Schools can and are successfully handllng Lhls lssue," ln many cases Lhere ls noLhlng aL all Lo
handle." Llke any oLher sLudenL, slmply help my chlld remaln safe and happy!

4. 1o daLe, my chlld's experlence aL school has been.
a. 1reaLmenL by Leachers and oLher sLaff
b. CLher sLudenLs ln grade
c. CLher sLudenLs ln general
d. CLher famllles
e. 8especL for prlvacy, lncludlng uslng preferred name and pronoun
f. Access Lo faclllLles

3. 8lvAC?: lL ls very lmporLanL LhaL we are all on Lhe same page on Lhls Loplc.
a. lf ___________ ls golng Lo be prlvaLe ln Lhls maLLer, Lhen we wanL Lhe number of people who know
abouL her/hls gender Lo be llmlLed. 1hls ls confldenLlal lnformaLlon, we musL welgh Lhe safeLy
conslderaLlons of havlng adulLs aware agalnsL Lhe poLenLlal of belng lnadverLenLly ouLed. Cnce
people know, we can'L Lake lL back, so we ask LhaL we are very cauLlous ln Lhls regard.





www.genderspecLrum.org 310-788-4412 lnfo[genderspecLrum.org




b. lf _______________'s LranslLlon ls more publlc ln naLure, how wlll we lnsure LhaL s/he ls LreaLed
respecLfully by oLhers who knew her/hlm as Lhe oLher" gender? Lven Lhough my chlld's LranslLlon
ls publlc, we sLlll expecL LhaL s/he wlll noL be sub[ecLed Lo unfalr sLlgmaLlzaLlon by oLhers.
c. Pow wlll you lnsure LhaL ___________'s ldenLlLy remalns conslsLenL wlLh preferred name, gender
markers and pronouns-publlc llsLs, grade books, sLudenL lu cards, llbrary records, lunch LlckeLs,
leLLers home, wlLh subsLlLuLes or ouLslde sLaff or provlders or oLher sLaff?
d. Pow wlll you Lry Lo mlnlmlze sllp ups?" 1he lmpacL on her/hlm boLh emoLlonally and poLenLlally
physlcally.

6. WhaL l am asklng you:
a. 1haL my chlld be LreaLed as any oLher glrl/boy aL Lhls school, or respecLed for Lhelr gender dlverslLy.
b. 1haL s/he ls referred Lo uslng preferred pronouns.
c. 1haL s/he have access Lo school programs, resources, and faclllLles conslsLenL wlLh her/hls gender
ldenLlLy.
d. 1haL Lhere ls a mechanlsm for frequenLly and easlly checklng ln on how Lhlngs are golng for
_____________ (slgnals, safe words, non-sLlgmaLlzlng Leacher/counselor check-lns, response Lo
her/hls requesLs for help)
e. Pow wlll you lnsure __________'s access and safeLy ln Lhe use of resLroom faclllLles? Wlll
_________ be able Lo use glrl's/boy's resLroom? lf noL, how wlll you lnsure LhaL s/he ls noL
sLlgmaLlzed when need Lo use Lhe resLroom? Schools all over Lhe place are dolng Lhls. My chlld's
safeLy ls aL sLake.
f. Pow wlll you lnsure ___________'s access and safeLy for changlng cloLhes for L? Wlll s/he be able
Lo use locker room conslsLenL wlLh hls/her gender ldenLlLy?
g. When Lhlnklng abouL class asslgnmenLs, eLc. please facLor ln _________'s ldenLlLy. Whlch Leacher(s)
wlll besL be able Lo handle Lhls approprlaLely?

7. 1ralnlng abouL gender lncluslon: Are you commlLLed as a leader Lo geLLlng your sLaff, communlLy and
sLudenLs Lhe Lralnlng Lhey need? AccepLance of gender dlverslLy ls acLually an lssue LhaL lmpacLs all klds. lf
noL Lralnlng wlLh Lhe school communlLy as a whole (sLaff, parenLs and sLudenLs), Lhen aL leasL sLaff Lralnlng
abouL gender dlverslLy and schools.

A few flnal noLes.
- Come Lo Lhls meeLlng assumlng LhaL you wlll be worklng LogeLher %/ % $-%0 ln supporL of your
chlld's success. 8emember: hopefully you wlll soon be Lhlnklng much more abouL readlng and
wrlLlng and much less abouL gender! ?ou wanL Lo esLabllsh a poslLlve relaLlonshlp wlLh your
school.
- SLrongly conslder aLLendlng Lhls lnlLlal meeLlng wlLhouL an advocaLe, you can always brlng one
laLer. School leaders can feel defenslve lf Lhey feel bllndslded by a Lhlrd parLy."
- uon'L have chlld aLLend lnlLlal meeLlng, and Lhlnk carefully lf and when lL would be
approprlaLe for your chlld Lo aLLend, especlally lf Lhey are ln prlmary grades
- Speclfy expecLaLlons abouL prlvacy for Lhe meeLlng lLself, who wlll be Lhere? ?ou do noL wanL
Lo show up and meeL a panel of adulLs before you have had a chance Lo speclfy your
expecLaLlons abouL your chlld and famlly's prlvacy.