Negotiating to

Reach Agreement
A Lecture for People Who Must Resolve
Differences With People in Important Relationships
Boko Nektarijevi
BBA - Bachelor of Business Administration - Paris, France 99
MBA Master of Business Administration (Top 10 in E!
"ol#a$ Business "chool % ni#ersit$ of Brussels 0&
E'ecuti#e education at the (ar#ard ni#ersit$ "A 0)
Master pro*rams at the Boston ni#ersit$ and #arious other trainin*s++
,ecturin* leadership, lo--$in*, and fundraisin* at the Brussels. ni#ersit$ /0& %
0)
0arious e'pert, consultin* and mana*ement roles in E pro1ects
and E institutions, 2o#+ of "er-ia, 324s , "M", 567 institutes,
"ince last $ear head of the Bal8an "ecurit$ 3et9or8
!!!"#alkansecurit$net!ork"org
Boko Nektarijevi
%
&hake 'an(s !ith )onflicts
When I sa$ conflicts !hat comes to $our min( *
+#jectives

&hake han(s !ith conflict

Differentiate among various responses to

conflict

I(entif$ $our o!n preferre( st$le for (ealing

!ith (issagreemnts

I(entif$ ho! (ifferent st$les might #e

appropriate in (ifferent situations"

Negotiate to agreement !hen self,interests are

too (iverse to resolve

Practise 'NP effective negotiation skills

-
Negotiation . )onflict*
What is a )onflict *

Please give e/amples of a recent conflict the first one

that comes to $ou min(

Who !as involve( in the conflict*

What !as the conflict a#out , Data0 Relationship0

Interest0 &tructure0 or 1alues* 2/plain"

'o! an( !h$ (i( the conflict en(*

Were $ou satisfie( !ith the outcome*

Is there a continuation of this conflict*

3
)onflict happens !hen4
I #elieve that
M$ GOALS or NEEDS
are BLOCKED #$
5our GOALS, NEEDS or SELF-
INTERESTS
6regar(less of !hether I (o or sa$ an$thing a#out it7
6c7 Bo# War( 899- :
I Nee( or Want &omething
Important
6c7 Bo# War( 899- ;
If I am frustrate(4
6c7 Bo# War( 899- <9
4#$ $our nee(s0 !ants or self,
interests
6c7 Bo# War( 899- <<
4that=s conflict4
personali>e( frustration
<8
Negotiation happens !hen4
+ur goals or self,interests are (ifferent0
in(epen(ent0 or mutuall$ e/clusive
5et !e must share the same
resources0 time0 space0 s$stems to get
!hat !e !ant
An( the future (epen(s on our
success an( satisfaction !ith the
outcome"
<%
+ur ?oals or &elf,interests are (ifferent0
in(epen(ent or mutuall$ e/clusive
<@
5et !e must use the same resources0
time0 space or s$stems to get !hat !e
!ant
<-
We can turn it into
a conflict
4an( lose sight
of our goals
<A
+r !e can negotiate
)onflict is4
Inevita#le
Natural
Neutral
6potential for goo( or #a( outcomes7
Wh Co!"#i$t %a&&e!'
Goals and Needs I Want vs. You Want, You Have what I Need,
Mutually Exclusive Self-Interests
Same oal, !ifferent Methods, Short-term vs. "on#-term $iew
Scarce Ressources S%ace, &ersonnel, 'om%uters and E(ui%ment, &roduction 'a%acity
Values Honesty vs. Ima#e, Efficiency vs. 'han#e
)airness vs. *ules of the Mar+et%lace, ,uality vs. &rofit
Invest in &ersonnel vs. *eward -wners
Power/Authority Mana#ement Style, Held vs. Shared, Inclusion vs. Exclusion
&ower of &osition vs. Ex%ertise, )inance driven vs. En#ineerin#
driven vs. Mana#ement driven vs. 'ustomer driven
Individual Difference 'ommunication Style, Ex%ectations and &erformance
Ways of $iewin# the World, *is+-ta+in#, &ersonal $alues
Time and Money &riority . vs. /, &lans vs. *eality , /uy vs. /uild vs. /orrow
usually indicators of S%eed vs. ,uality vs. 'ustomer0s *e(uest
a different conflict!
T&e o" Co!"#i$t Wh ( %o) to ha!*#e (
PR2B2RR2D M2C'+D
6Back,up Metho(7
Balse Beu( Misun(erstoo( )+MMDNI)AC2
)ommunication A&E an( LI&C2N
or
Missing Information 6avoi( or let go7
+ptional )onflict In(ivi(ual Differences0 R2BRAM2 C'2
Perceptions0 or PR+BL2M
Assumptions 6a(apt or accommo(ate7
Managea#le &carce Resources )+LLAB+RAC2
)onflict or M2DIAC2
Role an(
Inter,role conflicts 6compromise7
Mutuall$ 2/clusive )ore 1alues N2?+CIAC2 or
&elf,Interests or ARBICRAC2
or ?oals &ole Resource 6compete7
Intra,role conflicts
)hallengeF Before (eci(ing a conflict is real0 use communication skills
to (iscover if $ou lack information or misrea( the other personGs actions"
Avoi( assumptions" Prevent unnecessar$ conflicts"
Dnpacking a )onflict
Noti$e the +o+e!t
Sto&,
Breathe, the! -!&a$k
What *o I )o!t ( Wh a+ I
.#o$ke* ( What a+ I
a''/+i!0 (
1ara&hra'e to
%e#& the other -!&a$k
-'e a$tive #i'te!i!0
to 0ai! ti+e, thi!k,
-!*er'ta!*,
re*/$e te!'io!,
1o't&o!e rea$tio!
* Wont or Nee( *
* We are each frustrate(
a#out or #ecause *
* An( each of us assumes
a#out the other *
* &o !e each actHreact
6our #ehaviors 7 *