Instant Attraction Generator

By: Shelley McMurtry

The First in Her Mind System


Web-site: www.firstinhermind.com

Email Correspondence: shelley@firstinhermind.com











You are advised to print this program in its entirety so you can actively participate and
follow along in the daily email lessons.



Copyright TCN, Shelley McMurtry, First in Her Mind.






Welcome!!

Thanks for investing in your future with women by purchasing the
First in Her mind System!!

I first want to stress one point that is vitally important You have
invested in a system that will grow and develop over time. It is
evolving. And, it is built to be an interactive and supportive tool for
you to use.

Make sure you are signed up to receive my daily emails. If you have
not opted-in for my daily emails, you can do so by visiting:
www.firstinhermind.com

My daily emails will go in-depth on many of the subjects presented in
this system, and others. Its a channel which I use to communicate
with you daily and help ensure your success with women for years to
come.

As you hear me present these topics in my daily emails, you will be
able to follow along, take notes and actively participate in the system.

I have divided this system into several various sections, and under
each section are many topics, examples and information.

Section one is titled, The 3 largest obstacles that repeatedly make
men fail with women. In this section I identified 3 of the most
problematic reasons why I see men get into vicious cycles with
women, and continuously have problems because they can not
recognize these issues and take control of them.

I started with this section first, because if you are having any of these
problems, they need to be immediately identified and handled.

Section two I titled, The power of numbers what other woman
have to say. I used this section to give you the opinions and theories
of other women, of varying ages and backgrounds. I also included my
theory and expertise under each subject as well.

I think this section is of particular importance because it clearly shows
you not what only I think, but what other women think as well.

Section three is the main section and the bulk of this system. It is
titled, The 8 self-development strategies that will allow you to
succeed with any woman.

In this section I breakdown, analyze and explain 8 of the
developmental basics that you need to succeed with women.
Furthermore, I also include a page of self-awareness questions after
each topic.

I think it is important to know why these self-awareness questions
are there, and why you should honestly complete them. When you
become aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you can then
formulate a game plan and focus on your needs, structured to your
strengths and your weak points. I will also be discussing each one of
these questions and issues through my daily emails. You will be able
to recognize and define your weak points; then you will be able to
learn and grow by using this system.

I have also included room for notes in each section. We will be
spending a lot of time on these 8 topics, so follow along with my daily
emails, and feel free to write down your thoughts and ideas.

Section four I wanted to include because its a topic that frequently
comes up with my readers. Its a great avenue for meeting women in
this modern age, but I see many men making huge mistakes and
therefore having bad experiences with it. But, when done correctly, it
can be a great avenue for meeting women. And that is, online dating!

So, section four is called, How to create a powerful online ad, which
will make her beg to meet you. I also included several examples of
ads with pointers, to help you develop your very own personal ad.

I strongly suggest that you print this product out. It will make it easier
to answer these questions and make notes in the program as you
receive each of my daily emails!!

What actually works best is to start a file folder or a binder of First in
Her Mind materials. Just make sure to keep it in a confidential place.
Then, each day print out my daily email(s) and also keep this system
and any other reports you may receive in your binder or file folder.
That way you can highlight and review important points as they are
made. Remember, part of the First in Her Mind program is an
evolving and interactive system. The more active you become in the
program, the better it will work for you!!

Have fun with this system!! Get involved!! Watch for my daily emails!!

Enjoy!! And

MAKE IT A WONDERFUL LIFE WITH WOMEN!!

Shelley




















Section 1: The 3 largest obstacles that repeatedly make
men fail with women

I have identified 3 of the most problematic reasons to why men
continuously fail with women, or end up getting so discouraged that
they give up on dating all together.

With that said, you should be aware of these 3 aspects and make
sure that they are not part of your downfall with women.

Here is the best part as long as you are aware of these 3 things,
and are self-aware enough to control them, then they will not
negatively affect you. They are all aspects that YOU can control.

























Obstacle Number 1:

Yes, Rejections Hurt GET OVER THEM!!

Thats right get over them!!

You can not possibly move forward until you get over your past hurts,
hesitations and fears. You should always remember your mistakes
(and learn from them) but dont let those bad memories weigh into
your new persona.

Women pick up QUICKLY to any sense of failure, hesitation,
embarrassment or fear a man shows. Because of the negative
energy these feelings create, a woman will most commonly look
at such insecurities as the man being weak. And, women dont
like weak menthey like confident & strong men.

If you hold on to past hurts, fears and memories, they will make you
more nervous, anxious and fearful that will make you less
approachable, and make you not be your true self in front of the
opposite sex. Instead, you will stumble over your words, act
nervously, forget what you were going to say and show little
personality. And, that is not any good when trying to attract women!!

This is what a woman wants to see in a man
- Someone who has a strong demeanor.
- Someone who is positive, happy and fulfilled in life.
- Someone who is goal-oriented.
- Someone who is success-driven.
- Someone who is humorous and light-hearted.
- Someone who is optimistic (NOT a negative grouch).
- Someone who is confident.
- Someone who has a developed personality and self-
awareness.

These things can not be fully demonstrated if a man is feeling
inadequate, insecure or fearful from past rejections or hurts!!



Obstacle Number 2:

You Must Respect Her, if You Want Respect!!

This is a horrible cycle I see occurring with both men and women.

A man is hurt by a past lover or relationship. He doesnt get over
those hurts. He then goes into another relationship and doesnt
respect the new woman he is with. He might even think that all
women are sluts or all women are after money, or some other
negative view about women. That negative energy is constantly
around when he is with the new woman. Therefore, he does not show
her the level of respect he ideally should. She assumes he doesnt
care for her all that much, and she doesnt receive the level of
connection she requires to be fulfilled. So, she leaves him to find
someone who does offer that respect and fulfillment.

Meanwhile, the man is left to wonder why this always happens to
him and why yet another woman left him. He will carry on the anger
from this relationship as well, and this vicious cycle will continue to
happen.

Vicious cycles like this must be stopped!!

They will always haunt you and will ruin every relationship you have
in the future, if you do not get over those hurts and negative views
NOW.

A woman wants to be shown respect. And, most women who are
shown respect, faithfulness and honesty will have the same level of
respect for the man she is with. Mutual respect can not be created if
only one person is working towards it!!









Obstacle Number 3:

The Word No, Isnt So Bad

You will receive many nos in your life.

No matter if it is when you are interviewing for a job position, when
you are trying to sell something, or when you are approaching
women.

Nos will happen.

And as much as they may disappoint you, hurt you or crush your
spirit you must learn from them, get over them and move on. Never
let a no totally stop you.

And, NEVER assume that no is the final answer when it comes to
asking a woman out on a date.

Heres a story, to help prove this point

Lynon O. is a reader of the First In Her Mind System. Lynon really
liked one of his female co-workers and had come to really desire her
over the course of working with her for two years. They had become
friends to a decent degree and had worked together on a few
architectural projects. But, he never could get up the nerve to ask her
out.

Finally, after participating in the FIHM system, he got up the nerve.
He hastily went over to her office one morning, popped his head
around the door and said, Hey, want to go out to dinner this Friday?

She was taken back by the sudden attempt to ask her on a date, and
in her shock she said, No, I have plans.

Lynon was crushed and somewhat embarrassed. I then told him to
not act so aggressive (A.K.A. desperate) and to find a more
intriguing and appropriate way of asking her on a date. Ideally, even a
non-date. (A non-date is when you set up a time for coffee or
something similar that is not an official date.)

He thought for two days (while avoiding her because he had
embarrassed himself).

He then got over the fact that she had said no, and his
embarrassment. He pretended like it had never happened.

A few days afterwards, Lynon was in the conference room at work
looking over some drainage plans for a building he was designing the
grounds for. The co-worker he really liked came in to get a cup of
coffee.

She came over to look at the plans and asked, Hows it coming?

Lynon, in a subtle voice said, I think it needs the artistic touch of a
woman. You know, if you agree to coffee this afternoon after work, I
might actually forgive you for shooting me down the other day. I really
would like to get your advice on this.

She laughed, and said, I didnt shoot you down silly I really had
plans for that night. It was my sisters birthday celebration. If you had
stuck around long enough, you could have asked if I had plans for the
following night instead. And, if you had asked about that night, I
would have accepted. But, you embarrassed yourself so badly, you
ran off and avoided me for two days.

I think the above example is a good one to share, because it shows
that no isnt always the final answer and that avoidance after the
word no is not a good thing either.

And, of course, there will be nos that never change. Those are okay
too!! You can always move on to better and greater women. Just
dont let the nos get you down. Forget about them and move on.





Section 2: The power of numbers what other women have to
say

As you have probably heard, there is usually power in numbers. In
the First In Her Mind System and in my daily emails, I give you the
opinions, theories and experiences of not only myself but of other
women as well.

I do this to allow you to get truly into the mind of a woman of various
ages, backgrounds and life experiences.

I find it to be the best way to bring you up close and personal to the
life, mind and desires that women have.

In this next section, I am going to continue to do that. I am going to
propose some of the most frequent questions I am asked to a group
of 4 women. I am also going to add my opinion and thoughts on each
topic as well.

Before we get started, I want to introduce the 4 women that I
interviewed for this section. As I said, I tried to get 4 women with
varying ages and backgrounds.

Name: Brooke M.
Age: 25
Education: College Graduate
Profession: Media Director/ Public Relations
Status: Not Married/ Dating a man for 8 months.

Name: April L.
Age: 32
Education: College Graduate, with Masters
Profession: Senior Research Analyst
Status: Not Married/ Causally Dating

Name: Sara M.
Age: 36
Education: High School Diploma/ Some College
Profession: Administrative Assistant
Status: Happily Married/ Also had a previous marriage when she was
19-21.

Name: Misty A.
Age: 27
Education: College Graduate
Profession: Personnel & Hiring Director
Status: Happily Married

Lets get started






























Question 1:

What is the number one thing a woman looks for when she is
first approached by a man?

Brooke M.: Id have to say confidence and the way he carries
himself. Which, go hand in hand. I like a man who walks tall and
proud. A man who you can tell has something to be happy and proud
about.

April L.: A happy, optimistic and determined personality. Someone
with ambition and the belief he can accomplish great things. I meet so
many men that are low-energy and have absolutely zero goals or
ambition. That just turns me off completely. I dont even want to
speak with someone like that. I want a man that has the drive to be a
success, and to be a great person overall.

Sara M.: A man who has a developed personality and humor. No
one wants to be around someone who gripes all the time and is rude.
I think all women desire more men to be light-hearted, humorous and
more self-confident. That just seems to be something that humanity
as a whole is starting to get away from, and its sad.

Misty A.: Men always gripe about women playing games, but I see a
lot of men playing games when it comes to meeting women. I just
want a man to be himself. Not someone false or some made up
character he wishes he was. Just his honest, true self. The lies and
sleazy tactics to get women into bed are old. Men should have higher
standards for themselves than that. There are honest ways you can
approach a woman and build far more character and desire, than
being some false liar that she pegs right away. When my husband
originally approached me, he stood out because he was just himself.
It was calm and refreshing. He wasnt like all of the other jocks and
frat-boys in college that played games and continuously lied.

My Take: I think it clear to see when I speak with other women that
they are most attracted by confidence. Under the category of
confidence, falls several aspects that all interrelate to confidence.
These include a developed personality and self-awareness, a sense
of humor, ambition and the drive to succeed. I think being your true,
confident self is best. If you are not fully confident, then that needs to
be worked on immediately.

Section 2: Notes on Confidence & Initial Attraction:

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Question 2:

What physical feature do you look for first and foremost in a
man?

Brooke M.: Arm muscles. My biggest fantasy is to be with someone
with huge arm and chest muscles. Now, I havent ever been with
someone like that yet, but hey, we can all have fantasies, right?

April L.: His smile. For some reason if I see a healthy set of teeth, I
assume the man sporting them is healthy and takes care of himself. I
also like happy people. I am more prone to speak with a happy
person than an unhappy one. I have actually even approached a
couple of men myself, just based on their smile and teeth alone!

Sara M.: Id have to say height. Not too short and not too tall. Since
Im fairly short at 54, I like men between 57 and 511.

Misty A.: This may sound weird, but I think mine is hands. I like a
man to have big, firm, masculine hands. Working hands, I guess. I
like a man to have a powerful touch.

My Take: I find it interesting that none of these women said weight.
And, I agree. I have actually been out with a few men on the larger
side. It wasnt their weight that turned me on or off in the beginning. It
was other features that attracted me to them. They well compensated
for their weight.

I really thought Aprils answer was very enlightening and showed a
great deal of self-awareness on her part. Many people are attracted
by smiles and happy peoplebut many never realize that they are. A
smile does make you much more approachable looking!!

But, personally, I think my answer would have to be his overall stance
& posture. The way he stands, presents himself physically and
carries himself. By standing tall, a man can even hide access weight.
I do think that posture is a lost art. Years back, it was even stressed
in schools. Men and women were taught to stand upright, not to
slouch and put their shoulders back. Now, I sometimes think we are a
society of people without the knowledge of good posture.

Section 2: Notes on Physical Traits:
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Question 3:

What is your take on one night stands? Would you have one
and do you agree with them? If so, what would be the number
one turn-on that would cause you to have one?

Brooke M.: I was raised in a highly strict family with the upbringing
that you only sleep with one man, after you marry him! In college I
threw that theory out the door. I have had a couple of one night
stands and am okay with them. I personally like relationships more,
but am not totally against one nighters. The one night stands I have
had were both with people that I had known for a while and had deep
physical desire for, but I would have never dated them. We had fun
for a night, and it never affected our friendship.

April L.: I casually date men, but am not one to get into a
relationship unless I think something may really work out long-term.
So, I guess you could say I have several series of one night stands
going. Which I feel is okay. I like to causally date men that I can have
a great time with and be physically, emotionally and sexually fulfilled
by. I dont sleep with someone the first time I meet them though. If I
have absolutely no knowledge of them or developed passion for
them, I can not enjoy myself. I have to know someone and have a
developed desire for them, before I can do anything intimate with
them. This isnt some weird moral I have, it is just I really get
absolutely no satisfaction out of the experience if I dont have a
developed passion and desire which comes with time &
knowledge.

Sara M.: Since Im married, I no longer date or have one night
stands. However, before I married, I dated and had a few one night
stands. I guess I would have them because I was simply sexually
attracted to the person, but thats all. No long-term interest. I am okay
with them, as long as you are safe. I think it is something you have to
be real careful with and not make a constant habit of.

Misty A.: I think my 4 years of college was a constant revolving
one-night-stand until I met the man that quickly became my husband.
I would have one-night-stands because I was having too much fun to
be tied down in a relationship. I also couldnt meet anyone that
seemed like he was relationship material, until my husband came
along. When I met my husband, the one night stands completely
stopped. Looking back, I have to admit I am more sexually satisfied
with my husband than I was in any of those one night stands.

My Take: Personally I agree with one-night-stands, casual dating and
long-term relationships. I think all people need all forms of connection
and fulfillment at certain points in their life. I also think it is on a
person-by-person basis.

You should just go with whatever you feel most comfortable with and
with what makes you the most fulfilled all the way around.

I want to touch briefly on the answer April gave. I have known several
women to feel this way, and I think it is an interesting point we need
to address.

April says that she can not have a one-night-stand or sleep with a
man on the first date, because she needs time to develop her passion
and desire for him. I think this is something men need to be aware of.

Women tend to find sexual desire is other things, that men dont.
Womens sexual desire is based more on an emotional basis,
whereas mans tends to be based on more of a physical basis.
Womens sexual desire is most of the times built by learning more
about the man and having a level of emotional connection towards
him. (Not alwaysbut sometimes!)

A man can see a womans big breasts, nicely shaped buttocks and
attractive figure and automatically want to sleep with her before he
even knows her name.

On the other hand, a woman (though she may even be physically
attracted to the man), needs more connection before she can feel the
same desire.





Section 2: Notes on one-night-stands & sexual desire:
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Question 4:

What do you think is the number one aspect that keeps a long-
term relationship alive and healthy?

Brooke M.: Passion, passion, passion. I think you must continuously
maintain a strong sense of passion for one another.

April L.: To continue to learn and grow personally. If you continue to
learn and grow, you will never become boring. You will always have
new things to talk about and you will always have great, new ideas.
You can introduce one another to all sorts of wonderful things in life
as well.

Sara M.: I think what keeps my marriage strong is the level of
appreciation that my husband and I have for one another. We are
always complementing one another, thanking one another for a good
deed and showing our respect through appreciation. When we do get
into a slight disagreement, it is never that bad because we have such
a strong foundation & knowledge that we both appreciate and respect
one another.

Misty A.: My husband and I challenge ourselves to do new things
and go new places to keep our relationship alive. I think variation is
key in every manner. On some weekends we go to a local bed and
breakfast or a short weekend trip. One time I even dared him to go
skydiving with me, since he is deathly afraid of heights. Afterwards,
we had to get a hotel room before we could make it all the way
home!

My Take: I think all of these are wonderful answers. I think by
keeping passion alive, continuing to grow personally, always showing
appreciation and by having a constant element of variation, that
relationships have a much better chance at staying alive.







Section 2: Notes on keeping a relationship alive and healthy:
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Question 5:

Does weight matter?

Brooke M.: Yes. I think it does. And here is why I carefully watch
my diet and I exercise daily. I dont like having to do that, but I make
myself. I do it because I know it is healthy, I care about myself and I
want to look good. I would worry about the level of self-worth,
dedication and drive someone who has let themselves get too far
over weight might have. Although, if the person had some sort of
physical disability or reason to why there is a weight problem, then I
would understand and it would not be a problem unless they were
just making excuses for their laziness.

April L.: I have been out with men that are over weight. I cant say it
bothered me horribly. Most of them had many other qualities, and I
was not about to judge them on their weight or physical looks.
However, I am an active person and I would like someone who is
equally active and adventurous. Though, the larger men I have dated
have always been. So, as long as they can keep pace with me, it
doesnt matter!

Sara M.: My husband was slightly overweight when we met, and he
still is. He has the authentic beer belly. Its just a part of who is
though, and I love all of him.

Misty A.: Ive always had a thing for big boys, I guess you could say.
I like the big-built, football player look. Even if they are a tad
overweight. My husband is 64 and a rather large man. He was a
quarterback and is built like one still to this day. He isnt slender, but
Ive never been attracted to slender men so thats a good thing.

My Take: Overall I dont think weight matters. I certainly think it is an
element that can be compensated for.

However, let me add this Some women may automatically look at it
as laziness or a low self-drive. Those thoughts need to be put to
rest immediately, and can be done so by showing her an outgoing
personality and other positives you may have.



Section 2: Notes on weight/ dieting:
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Question 6:

Does it really matter what kind or year model a mans vehicle
is?

Brooke M.: I dont really care as long as its a clean vehicle. I hate
going on a date and getting my outfit dirty from his filthy car. My
father use to say that it doesnt cost much to be clean. I think it fits
under that category.

April L.: I dont think so. At least not to me. Lets see, my exs have
had everything from a Mazda Protg, to a Ford truck, to a Honda
Accord, to a Mercedes. It never particularly mattered to me.

Sara M.: Maybe Im opposite from some women, but I look at being
practical first. I remember one thing that impressed me about my
husband when I first met him was that he drove a basic, economical
sedan. I had been with so many men that had put their priorities in
their vehicles, that it became a turn-off.

Misty A.: Okay, I will admit I have a small fetish for classic muscle
cars, but no modern car is really going to impress me. Ive never
judged a guy on his car alone.

My Take: I think its clear to see that all 4 of these women dont look
at a man for his vehicle. Which pretty much puts that theory to rest. I
think it boils down to this

If you have a really nice car, people will probably comment that its
nice both men and women will. But, its not a have to for meeting
or keeping women.

I do not know of one woman who says, I am waiting to meet a guy
with a great car. NO!!! Instead they usually say, I would like to meet
a great guy.




Section 2: Notes on cars and other materialistic objects:
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Question 7:

What is the best gift a man has ever given you, or that you
could possibly receive from a man?

Brooke M.: Id have to say it would be a gift based around my
interests showing that they really take an interest in my life and my
enjoyments. A perfect example occurred a couple of years back. I
was dating a young man who knew I had always had a fascination
with helicopters. For my birthday he bought me a ride in a helicopter
and a basic lesson. It showed that he really cared about my
interests.

April L.: The best gift is when a guy pays attention to what you like,
and then goes back and buys it for you. Not for a birthday or special
holiday, just as a surprise when youre least expecting it. And, it
doesnt have to be anything big and expensive. Just a simple, cheap
necklace or a candle even.

Sara M.: The best gift my husband gives me is when I return home
and he has cleaned the house or cooked dinner. Sometimes he even
buys me bath products and draws a nice warm bath for me, if he
knows Ive had a hard day. Its the simple things that show the most
love.

Misty A.: Time. I truly believe that time is the most precious gift. My
husband is great about allowing me to have time for myself. Time to
be by myself. Time to shop. Time to relax. Whatever it may be.

My Take: I thought this was a very interesting question to ask,
because it shows that women are not after big expensive gifts like
diamonds and vehicles. They like simple, even free, gifts.

Section 2: Notes on gifts and signs of affection:
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Section 3: The 8 Self-development strategies that will
allow you to succeed with ANY woman

Hello Men,

I think Ive heard just about everything. Well, every reason and
excuse to why men cant meet (or keep) women that is!

But, throughout all of the hundreds of emails I have received, the core
problems can be broken down into the following 8 aspects.

That is why I have chosen to include them in this system, and use
them to create a plan of action so that you can overcome them.

Some of them may not apply to you. Some of them will.

After each aspect I have included 5 self-awareness questions.
These questions are put there so you can truly ask yourself the
questions (in the privacy of your own home) and gain a better
awareness of yourself, your strengths and your weak points.

Be truthful when answering these questions.

After each set of questions, I have included some room for notes.
This space is for you to use as you have random thoughts and ideas,
and it is also to be used as I address these various subjects in my
daily emails.

Stay posted to my daily emails, as they are a vital part of this evolving
and growing system!!

My Best,

Shelley McMurtry





Section 3: Aspect #1: Make Yourself Known

Even though this sounds like basic common sense, you would be
surprised at how many men I see failing to fully make themselves
known to women.

And though basic common sense should tell you this, let me stress
it YOU CAN NOT POSSIBLY MAKE A WOMAN FEEL
ATTRACTION TOWARDS YOU IF SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHO
YOU ARE.

Now, here is the other side to this that I see many men doing
Though they feel that they are known to women, they may not
actually be. Or, at least they are not known to women as they
SHOULD be.

To be known means to develop and express a persona that is so
dynamic, so forthcoming and so intriguing that the woman just has to
know even more!!

To be known means to be remembered! And, to stay in the forefront
of every womans mind that you meet!

This is accomplished with a combination of factors:
- By commanding respect
- Developing a die-hard attitude
- Positioning yourself as #1
- Making women prove themselves to you!
- Knowing how to get what you wantand demanding it!
- Carrying a developed and character-filled persona
- And, by becoming the marketing manager of yourself.

In this section, you are going to learn how to do all of these things!!
When followed, this system will allow you to develop your ability to
approach, and be approached, by desirable, attractive, healthy,
educated women the highest caliber of women possible!!

It will also help you to be able to define good and bad traits in
women, which will also help keep you from getting into unhealthy
relationships.
































Section 3: Aspect #1: Self-Awareness Questions

1. When it comes to meeting women, my biggest downfall is:
_________________.

2. I have found that a number of women I get involved with do not
show me a decent level of respect. ___ True ___ False

3. Out of the following, I need to work on __________ the most:
1. Confidence 2. Shyness 3. Body Language 4. Communication
skills

4. I do not feel like I can get a desirable, attractive woman.
___ True ___ False

5. I believe my character could stand improvement.
___ True ___ False

6. My goals for using the First in Her Mind System are to: (Be
detailed!)
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________

Notes on Aspect #1:
_______________________________________________________
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_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________


Section 3: Aspect #2: Command Respect

This is something that I see men failing to accomplish, or even
address, continuously. And, its not exactly common knowledge
either. Unfortunately, most of us were raised to pretty much believe
that there is common respect and that it is of course, common.
However, this day in time especially, it is not so common.

In fact, most of the time, respect has to be commanded. It has to be
developed and it has to be maintained.

The highest degree of respect doesnt happen over night, but it can
fade overnight when its not properly maintained.

To be respected, means that you have to be a respectful person.
Basically, lead by example.

But furthermore, you have to demand that the highest level of respect
is shown to you. That she shows up on time, that she calls when
she says she will, and that she follows through on plans and what she
says she will do.

Likewise, these are all things you should do for her too. (Leading by
example, remember?)

Now, commanding respect DOES NOT mean you are going to
attack each woman you meet like an anger-hungry drill sergeant,
spitting out commands. That will only scare her away with good
reason.

However, you do need to command, and EXPECT, a high level of
respect from her. This can be done in a calm, almost non-apparent
manner.

For instance, lets say you have made plans to meet for a first
meeting over a cup of coffee. Lets say you set plans for 3:00 on
Tuesday afternoon. Confirm these plans by saying something like,
Now, you do promise to be there at 3:00, dont you? Adding a little
mischievous smile as you say it.

By making her promise you are psychologically holding her to a
higher commitment.

Furthermore, you are reconfirming plans and the agreed upon time/
place for a second time, to make double-sure there is no confusion.

See how this is a non-apparent attempt to make sure she does
show up, on time?

Here is another example. This is an example of leading by
example

Lets say you tell her you will call her on Saturday, around 11:00.
When Saturday comes around, call her right around 11:00 (Not
11:30). When she answers say something like, See, I always keep
my word.

This will help confirm to her that you are a respectful person. And,
that if you maintain your promises. She will uphold to hers more
likely.

Here is the best part if you position this act right, you can even
make a fun little game out of it. It will become a game of who calls
closes to time, or even first. All the while, she will have no idea that
you are really commanding the utmost of respect from her, and
showing it at the same time!

Now, here is a negative about human nature that you must
remember

We as humans tend to look for & discover what we can get away
with, and see how far & how long we can get away with it. From
children, to adults we do this. But, as adults, our focus and goals in
doing this change.

This is what I see many women doing to men (and many men doing
to women) who do not command or build respect with their dating
partner.

If they learn they can break plans at the last minute, they will.
If they learn they can be flaky, and you will still be there waiting
they will.
If they learn they can be late and you dont care they will be.
If they learn they can flirt with other men and you dont respond
they will.
And so on, and so forth, until there are massive problems in the
relationship!!!

However, you can take control of this and never allow it to happen in
the first place. Commanding respect can even become something
that positively builds your relationship and connection together.

A while back I developed 9 key factors to help men be able to tell if a
woman respects them, and is an overall respectful person. Below are
these 9 factors that you too can look for on a date, or your first few
dates with a woman. Likewise, they are all factors that you probably
should abide by as well.

1. A woman should try to "earn" your respect, not expect it.
If a woman is truly interested in you, she will WANT you to think
highly of her. If she doesn't care about herself, and therefore
you, she will just expect some level of respect to be conveyed,
even if it's not near as high as it should be. A woman who adores
you, will want you to adore her. She will go to great strides to
accomplish this feat.

2. A woman who respects others, will most likely have a better
chance of respecting herself and YOU.
Watch how she operates in public. It might be at the local coffee
bar, or the grocery store or maybe the restaurant on your first or
second date. If she has a genuine concern for others around her,
she will have a better chance of having the same for you and your
relationship. If she goes into a place expecting to be treated
"first & foremost", pushes her way around and is rude when she's
not given what she expects, chances are it is only a short while
until she will do the same with you!!

3. She should not be a sore loser, but rejoice in the winnings of
others.
Play a game with her. It might be dominoes, cards or a video game.
When she loses a game, see how she reacts. Now, playful teasing in
fine! However, if she is a horribly sore loser, it might mean
there will be even greater problems in your relationship when she
doesn't get her way or if she feels she has to "win" an argument.

4. Someone who wants to "earn" and "keep" your respect will
constantly try to improve that level of respect.
In the past, when I was dating someone I really cared for, I would
constantly try to make them respect me more. I would always want to
look nice for the man that I was with, or do something that would
either impress him or make him respect me even more. This can be
conveyed by the woman "dressing up" and fixing her hair extra
special. Or she might buy the type of dress or outfit that you
really think looks good on her, and surprise you by wearing it on a
"hot date". There are some especially strong ways that this level
of respect can be shown as well. For instance, if she works really
hard for a bonus at work, so that, "the two of you can go on a
weekend get-a-way". This shows that she respects you enough to
give a 110% at work and all around in life, as well as, she will work
hard to spend special time with you! These are all signs that she
will go "above & beyond the call of duty" to earn your respect &
appreciation. And, when you find a female like this, you should do
the same for her!!

5. She should compliment you on your successes.
When you get that long awaited promotion, with you make a huge
sale or when you win the flag-football game with the boys, she should
be happy & congratulate you. If someone respects you, they will be
happy when you are happy. They will also be proud of your
accomplishments. If she's not, then it may be a sign she takes
little interest in your enjoyments and in your life.

6. A woman who respects you will bring negative issues to your
attention in a calm and collected manner.
Even when you respect someone 100%, there will still be issues.
It's how you approach these issues that counts. If a woman wants to
express a dislike about the relationship, a bad habit you might
have or a concern, it should be conveyed in a calm, cool and
collected manner. Allow her to express such issues, especially if
they are approached in this regard. The goal should not be to
"change" you, but to bring the issue to your attention for a
possible joint understanding, before the issue is "sandbagged" for
years until it hits a boiling point of no return. Allow her to
speak and then try to suggest possible solutions, that would work
for both of you... without changing you. During the period which you
are speaking, a woman who respects you should listen attentively
and try to understand your point of view, even if she might not
agree. You should do the same for her.

7. Someone who respects their relationship, will be happy to
express their enjoyment and confidence in it.
If she speaks highly of you and of your relationship to her friends
or her parents, let her and be happy! If she doesn't, or she
approaches it like "it's no big deal", then there may be a problem.
A woman who is strongly attracted to a man and their interactions
will speak of them. This annoys some men. However, it is a great
sign! I'd be more annoyed (if I were a man) if a woman didn't!

8. She will take responsibility for her own actions, and know that
only SHE is capable of changing herself.
Here's a big sign that some guys miss. If a woman has a lot of
excuses for "why" she is the way she is, there is likely to be major
issues. If you hear excuses like, "Because of the way I was raised...."
or "It was all his fault. That relationship would have worked out, but it
was all his fault!", she is likely to have a problem recognizing her own
faults and will blame everything on others-- and before long, YOU!!
She is likely to not take responsibility for her own actions, nor respect
others who play active parts in her life. If she is the type that is self-
aware and recognizes her faults, you will clearly hear that conveyed
in her stories of past relationships and involvements with her friends.
She will not only recognize & express her faults or weak points, but
she'll be proactive in correcting them. That's the type of women you
want to be with.

9. Someone who is respectful of others is honest.
Watch what she says and if she tends to falsify information. Watch
not only what she says to you, but her interactions with friends &
family. If she lies to them repeatedly-- she will most likely do the
same to You!! Such falsifications, or "lies", are habitual. Done once,
they are likely to be done a thousand times.
















Section 3: Aspect #2: Self-Awareness Questions

1. Women whom I date normally DONT respect me.
___ True ___ False

2. I can see where I need to work on my respect towards women,
so that I can better lead by example. ___ True ___ False

3. I have been known to date dishonest women.
___ True ___ False

4. Im afraid to date sometimes, due to past hurts & problems Ive
had in past relationships. ___ True ___ False

5. Out of the following, the number one problem Ive had with
women in past relationships is:______________.
1. Honesty/ loyalty 2. Communication 3. Flakiness 4. Selfishness
(on her part)

Notes on Aspect #2:
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_______________________________________________________







Section 3: Aspect #3: Develop An ATTITUDE.

I hear the same complaints from women across the board (and I too
have had them!)
Hes just so boring.
He doesnt have any sense of adventure.
Its the same routine, day after day with him.
Ive stared at walls that are more exciting than him.
Youd think he could break loose just once.

This seems to be a major complaint from women, and something I
see men doing far too often. Even men who might seem to think they
have a diversified life, tend to fall in the same routine rut and never
change anything after a while.

Even the best dessert in the world gets old once you eat too much.

Even your most favorite song becomes old and not as exciting once
its played over, and over, and over again.

Remember that!!

Part of conquering your routine is by offering her a personality filled
with attitude, character, charm and excitement. Once this is brought
out in you, your personality is always able to bring out the best and
newest adventures in a situation.

You will always have witty comments and will be more prone to
humor. .

You will always leave her wondering what next? And, you will be
more prone to exuding a high physical energy, which helps breed
sexual energy.

Now, dont confuse having an attitude with being cocky or a jerk.

The attitude you want to build consists of high energy, witty/
intelligent humor, straight-forward commentary, and an overall sense
of passion for the world, your beliefs, and for her!!
The women who I have spoken to that have the most fun in their
relationships (and the most sexual passion) are women who say
Hes just so crazy!
I never know what he will do next!
Theres never a boring moment!
We have so much fun together, I never know what we will be doing
next!
Hes so smart, yet he is so funny as well!

Thats right and that is what you want the women saying about you
too!!

Physical energy breeds physical energy Excitement builds
excitement in others Relaxed people relax others around them
and spontaneity creates excitement and mystery.

Those are all important elements you want to build in a relationship
with a woman.

When you are relaxed and having fun she will relax and have fun
too.

When you are laughing and having a good time she will most likely
join in making it an even better time for both of you.

And, when these things occur, more passion and sexual desire will be
created as well.

That is one of the many reasons why I am against the old-style
traditional dinner date at some stuffy, over-priced restaurant. That is
just not exactly the best environment to build excitement, energy and
mystery!!

Instead, go to a comedy club, funny comedy movie or theater
performance, or a karaoke bar even something with more life to it
and a place where you will have an opportunity to cut loose. And,
also allow her to!!

You want her to look back and think, That is the best time that I have
ever had on a date!
Section 3: Aspect #3 Self-Awareness Questions:

1. I can see where I need to add more excitement to my dates.
___ True ___ False

2. I need to develop my sense of humor/ character.
___ True ___ False

3. I tend to get so nervous on dates that my true personality does
not come out. ___ True ___ False

4. I need to come up with some new and more exciting ideas for
dates. ___ True ___ False

5. I need to get in better physical shape, so I can do more physical
activities and create more physical energy. ___ True ___ False

Notes on Aspect #3:
_______________________________________________________
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Section 3: Aspect #4: Get off your rear-end get noticed
& WIN!!

I cant tell you how many men I have heard complain that they cant
meet women. And, I cant tell you how many times that those same
exact men have led the similar lifestyle

They get off of work at 5:00. They go to a grocery store or run a quick
errand. Theyre home by around 5:30 or 6:00. They then proceed to
watch TV, sit at home, play on their computer or do things that quite
simply will NEVER get them noticed by women.

No one can be attracted to you, if they have no idea you exist!!

Now, some men do get out & go places. They may go to the local
gym, a local coffee shop or even a regular bar/ restaurant around
dinner time. However, after a while, if you are not regularly meeting
women in these places, venture out some!! Try new places.

Humans are creatures of habit and we tend to go where we feel most
comfortable. Unfortunately, many times this means limiting our social
circle. But it shouldnt have to be that way and it doesnt have to be
that way!!

Your social life is in your own handsyou can take it as far as you
want it to go. Likewise, your social life is only limited by you. If you
dont pressure yourself to go out and maintain a social presence, then
of course your social life will decrease (or become obsolete).

Here are a few hints towards developing, and sustaining, a proper
social life
1. Get involved with groups and organizations of interest.
2. Force yourself to try new bars/ restaurants and other places.
3. If you cant find a group or organization of interest, then create
your own!! (Make business cards or flyers for it and hand them
out wherever you go!)
4. Go out and be active at least every other night of the week. Use
the alternate nights to work on self-development and other
tasks. Going out doesnt have to mean staying out until 2:00 in
the morning. Just stay out until 9:00 or 10:00, if you have to
work the next day.
5. Stay in contact with people. Send a quick email or make a quick
hello call ever so often.
6. Dont be afraid to become a social director. Contact friends
and people you meet to see if they want to join you certain
places. If they decline, then still go by yourself, but dont be
afraid to step up to the plate and direct social gatherings.

Whatever you do, dont sit at home by yourself -- nor continuously go
to the places that prove to be bad social outlets time & time again. If
youre not meeting people therethen it cant be counted as a social
outlet!!




























Section 3: Aspect # 4 Self-Awareness Questions:

1. I need to develop more of a social life. ___ True ___ False

2. I find myself going to the same places, time & time again.
___ True ___ False

3. I need to take a more active role in directing social gatherings
and being social. ___ True ___ False

4. I stay at home 4-5, or more evenings each week.
___ True ___ False

5. Going out by myself, attending social functions, and joining
organizations/ groups gives me an anxious feeling.
___ True ____ False


Notes on Aspect #4:

_______________________________________________________
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Section 3: Aspect #5: Dont settle!! Aim for only the
best!!

Here is another fatal mistake I see men making They wait, and wait
and wait for a woman to come along. Finally, one comes along!!
Afraid to lose her and be back at square one, he holds on to her no
matter what.

Even if she is trashy, uneducated, sleazy and plain rude to the man!!

He will just continue to bend over backwards for her, as she uses him
and pulls him down.

It is just as equally important to know how to screen women, as it is to
know how to meet them in the first place. Meeting them is only half
the battle!!

Does she have self-respect?
Does she respect you and others?
Does she have a stable lifestyle?
Does she have a stable job/ income?
Does she have excessive baggage?
Do her goals for dating/ a relationship match your goals?
Does her lifestyle match closely (or is at least compatible) with your
lifestyle?
Is she self-aware?
Is she confident?
Is she knowledgeable?
Does she offer you excitement?

These are some of the many questions that you should consider. I
suggest making a list of traits/ features that are most important to
you. Then, after a date or as you get to know a woman, periodically
go through that list and see how closely she matches!!

Furthermore, dont rush into a relationship. Instead, just date for a
while. Get to know one another and dont stop your dating life in the
mean time.

I see too many men who meet one woman, they get hung up on her
and then they stop all social outlets and all attempts for meeting
women. Then, when that suddenly falls apart, they are left lonely, and
with absolutely no social life.

Dont stop your life and dont stop your attempts at meeting women,
until you are 100% for sure that you want to be in a long-term
relationship with a woman and that she meets ALL of your
requirements!!



























Section 3: Aspect #5 Self-Awareness Questions:

1. I find myself holding on to a woman, afraid to lose her, even
when I know it is an unhealthy relationship. ___ True ___ False

2. I have a tendency to get in co-dependent relationships.
___ True ___ False

3. I have a tendency to get with women who are looking for a
savior and not a lover. ___ True ___ False

4. Due to where I meet women, I dont seem to be able to meet
high-caliber women. ___ True ___ False

5. I need to concentrate on finding a woman with a strong sense of
stability. ___ True ___ False

Aspect #5 Notes:
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_______________________________________________________









Section 3: Aspect #6: Come on you sly cat

Have you ever known a guy that always manages to meet women,
just by saying the right thing at the right time? He may even be a little
egotistical, or he might just be extremely confident and a charmer.
But nevertheless, he always knows what to say & do and it gets
him results.

That is what I call a sly cat, and it is a great trait to develop within
yourself.

A sly cat is not rude, he is charming.

A sly cat is humorous.

A sly cat isnt afraid to approach a woman anytime, anywhere.

A sly cat doesnt worry about making a daring move.

A sly cat many times uses the same type or types of approaches with
women, time and time again. He knows what works for him.

A sly cat is self-aware and knows what attempts work for him.

A sly cat is socially secure.

Here is the best part

EVERYONE has a sly cat element inside of them. We can all train
ourselves to accomplish the traits I listed above!!

All it takes is becoming more self-aware and socially aware. Then,
getting material that works well with you (everyone is different in this
manner).

A little personality can go a LONG ways!!



Section 3: Aspect # 6 Self-Awareness Questions:

1. I find myself always stumbling over words and not knowing
what to say around women. ___ True ___ False

2. When I implement an element of humor, I normally end up
sounding corny. ___ True ___ False

3. I wish I was more confident and daring, so I could approach
more women. ___ True ___ False

4. If I knew what to say, I would be comfortable with approaching
more women. ___ True ___ False

5. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself in the
following traits? 1 is least and 10 is best.
A charmer: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Humorous: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Sly: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Flirtatious: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Approachable 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Aspect #6 Notes:
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_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________


Section 3: Aspect #7: Youre the marketing manager
of yourself. Now employee a great team to support
your efforts!!

You are responsible for your own social-life, attraction skills and
communication with women. However, you dont have to be alone in
this task!

One of the best ways to meet women, is through other women!! And,
other male friends. Get the word out! Let people know you are looking
to meet a great woman (or women)!!

These can be male/female friends, co-workers, social acquaintances
and other people you may know that have developed contacts and
social lives.

This is key remember that you must direct all attempts (no one is
going to do it for you!), but there is nothing wrong with asking for a
little help!

By being your own marketing manager, your job is to market
yourself by getting the word out and building the image that you want
to have.

This goes back to being the social director as well. There is nothing
wrong with stepping forward and taking charge of social events. A
matter of fact, a man who takes charge is a huge attraction trigger
and turn-on for women!!

So, get out there and get known!!

Suggestion: Make personal business cards!

Personal business cards are fun cards you make and can give to
women as you meet them. They should have an invitation or
something that would make the woman want to respond (spark her
interest).

Example: A friend of mine owns a bar in downtown Austin, Texas. He
is middle-aged at around 46. He developed personal business cards
that have a cheerful picture of him, his email address and his cell
phone number. It also has his bar name on the card and just below
that, it says Come join me for a drink!

He hands them to women all of the time, wherever he goes. He gets
an amazing response (and added clientele to his bar!).

There are many different ways you can approach women and attract
them.

What I think men sometimes forget is this Women want to meet
men too.

They are just approached so often, and put off by so many horrible
attempts, that they become somewhat reserved and unresponsive to
the regular attempts & the rude attempts.



















Section 3: Aspect #7 Self-Awareness Questions:

1. I am hesitant when it comes to asking others to help me out in
the task of meeting women. ___ True ___ False

2. I need to improve the image I give to women, when I first
approach them. ___ True ___ False

3. I have found that I have had a hard time sparking interest in
women. ___ True ___ False

4. I need to work on being more outgoing and proactive in
meeting women. ___ True ___ False

5. Think of 4 people that you know that have fairly developed
social lives. These should all be people that you could meet
other women through. (These people can be male or female
friends, co-workers, social acquaintances, etc.)
______________________ ___________________
______________________ ___________________

Aspect #7 Notes:
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_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________





Section 3: Aspect #8: The right question, at the right
time

When initiating conversation with a woman it is vitally important not to
ramble on.

Your goal should be to get her speaking. The best way of doing this is
to ask her a question. But, not a regular, standard question that gets
a quick yes or no answer.

Do NOT ask, How are you?, Having a good day?, Did you work
today? and so on.

Instead, ask an open-ended question and something she will be
excited to answer.

The best way is to ask her advice on something, that goes along with
a current situation

In a clothing store:
You look like you have good taste, do you think men look better in
jeans that are faded lightly or are darker?

In a restaurant/ coffee shop/ bar:
What do you recommend here? And Why?

In a home store:
Can I get your opinion on if these colors look good together?

Questions like this can help spark curiosity and open up
communication lines. Try to be creative in your questions and come
up with even funny/ light-hearted questions if you can.







Section 3: Aspect #8 Self-Awareness Questions:

1. I never know what to ask, when I see a woman.
___ True ___False

2. My timing seems to always be off. ___ True ___ False

3. I think of great things to say & ask, but am too hesitant/ shy to
ever actually say them. ___ True ___ False

4. I am repeatedly kicking myself, because I let opportunities with
women pass me by. ___ True ___ False

5. I think my self-esteem is okay, but my overall courage is low.
___ True ___ False


Aspect #8 Notes:
_______________________________________________________
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_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________








Section 4: How to create a powerful online ad, which will make
her beg to meet you

One of the most powerful, modern tools you can implement for
meeting women is online dating.

Its come along way, and you can find some great women (and men)
on online personal sites.

These are some factors you need to be aware of though, when you
are writing your personal ad and responding to womens personal
ads

- Women can get 50+ emails from men each day on a personal site.
- Women will weed out at least 50% of those emails in the first two
lines of reading them, or by their subject line alone without even
opening them.
- Women will put about 30% of emails they receive (or profiles they
view) in the back of their mind to come back to later. However, most
of the time they are quickly forgotten about.
- Women, on average, respond to 20% of the emails they receive.
- Of the 20% they respond to, 90% of those are around 2,000
characters long and give a detailed description of the man.
- Of the 20% they respond to, 90% of those also have 3 or more
pictures.

With that said, here are a few pointers:

- Make your ad detailed (but not boring) and show personality.
- Show a varied and diversified life (create an intriguing image).
- Include at least 3 pictures that are recent and clear. Show some
fun pictures and also some professional/ dressy pictures.
- When you write to a woman, make your email detailed and fun. Not
a simple How are you doing or hey sexy.
- Place an interesting/ intriguing subject line in your email.
- If your first email is not responded to, write again in about 3 or 4
days. This will help to obtain some of that reluctant 30% that is
overwhelmed by the massive amount of emails they are receiving.
- Once connection is made, set a time and place to meet ASAP. She
is going to continue to get an incredible amount of offers, so you want
to make sure you get yourself in the forefront of her mind.

If you are aware of these factors and once you have a developed
(and tested) ad, it will be a highly valuable resource to you.

Online dating can be a great avenue for meeting women. Especially if
you are super busy, travel or have a limited social life.

Just like with any form of dating, you need to carefully screen each
woman you meet and make sure she is compatible with your lifestyle.
Watch out for red flags as always!!

In the next few pages you will see several examples of personal ads.
Now, some of these are shorter than they probably ideally should be.
But, they are all based around various situations/ lifestyles that might
apply to you. Read the following ads and also the pointers I have
included with each one.

Notes on personal ads:
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Section 4: Sample Personal Ad 1:

Before we get to the boring aspects about me (AKA Professional life), Ill tell
you a little about what I do for fun I am an active member in a trail running
group and I run in competitions around the world, I love to travel, read and have
to admit I am an avid NCAA basketball fan. I especially have to watch every
game of my beloved college, the University of Maryland. Other than that, you
wont find me watching much TV because I am by far an outdoors person.

Okay, now for my professional life, I am a pharmaceutical rep for the local area.
Its not my ideal job, but it does allow for long weekends off and travel. It has its
fringe benefits I guess. My degree is in accounting, but I really did get burned
out with crunching numbers a few years back. I might get back into that field one
day, but for now I really enjoy what I am doing.

You will notice I attached four pictures. The first one is of me dressed up for the
company Christmas party last year, the second one is of me and my dog Samie,
the third one is of me on one of the trails I frequently run and the forth one is of
me in one of my favorite places Rome.

I desire to meet fun-loving women that are outdoor enthusiasts and possibly even
runners like myself, the running part isnt a requirement though :-) I do desire
someone who is educated and well read. My goal is to meet someone I can have
long, informative conversations with and share my knowledge and joy of life with.
And, she can do the same for me. Is this you? If so, I cant wait to hear from you!!

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Pointers:

Notice how this ad starts out with fun points. DO NOT start your ad with
something like Im trying this because I am recently divorced or I work as a
computer programmer.

Be high in energy. Exemplify that you are a fun person through your words!

Include a glimpse into your professional life. You do not want to be long-winded
with this, but you do want to show that you have one. Even if you hate your job,
do not include negatives such as that in your ad.

Note how this person explained why he is not in his field of choice, but
compensated by saying that it had its good points because of more personal
freedom.

Show several pictures, and explain them!! Show a professional/ dressed-up
picture, a more causal picture and some fun pictures. The more pictures the
better! Make sure they are recent and clear. Get some taken if needed!

Section 4: Sample Personal Ad 2:

I am a highly active person looking for someone to enjoy skiing in the winter and
boating in the summer with. Do you think you have what it takes to stay up with
me? My interests are varied and so are my jobs. I have positioned my jobs to
revolve around my interests though. I am a ski instructor during the winter at a
local resort, I am a personal trainer throughout the year and I am also a
masseuse. Thats right, a masseuse and if you are deserving, maybe Ill try my
talents on you :-) I moved here after being laid off from a high tech computer
firm as a sales person. I got burnt out on the corporate life and working in a
cubical. So here I am waiting for you! If you want to learn more, then please
write! But, I will only respond if you tell me some about yourself!! By the way,
there are several pictures attached of me at the gym and at the ski resort.

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Pointers:

Does this ad come off a bit cocky? Yep. Sure it does. Is that bad? No. Not
necessarily. Cocky can be good, in limited amounts. It will help weed out those
that are not as sure of themselves or are just looking for a man to use & hurt.

Now, pay attention here this man admits he was laid off. Now he mentions 3
various jobs ski instructor (winters only), personal trainer and masseuse. Do
you think there is a chance that he really doesnt make very much money, even
with all three of these jobs combined? Sure there is! But, with the way he wrote
this ad, 1. Do you think most people would think of that? And 2, even if they did,
would they care?

Notice how he challenges a woman to keep up with him. A bit cocky again? Oh
yeah! Is that a bad thing? Nope, not if it gets positive results!

Also look how he asks for information about the woman at the end. Why?
Because he wants to learn as much as possible to be able to weed-out any
negative people that he knows he will not be a match with.










Section 4: Sample Personal Ad 3:

My interests are varied cooking, history and horseback riding are three of the
main things I enjoy. Im always up for new adventures though. I have a
developed and stable life, but not boring. I live in a log cabin I personally built on
a few acres where I have my horse stables. Its my personal retreat and I would
trade nothing for it. I have a stable job that pays well as a warehouse manager at
a local distribution plant. Ive been there for 12 years. I have a daughter (age 14)
and a son (age 11) from a previous marriage. They stay with me every other
weekend and enjoy the cabin and the horses as much as I do. I got divorced 7
years ago and we have been able to remain friends. Dont worry, I dont have any
baggage left from that marriage. Im looking for someone to share my life and
interests with. I do need a woman who is okay with me having two children, and
likewise I will be okay if you have children.

I have attached 2 pictures of myself with the horses and also a picture of the log
cabin I built.

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Pointers:

This is an ad for someone who is divorced and has children. It shows career
stability, which is important.

This ad could stand some more excitement. But, it does have a decent opening
by mentioning the mans interests.

There are a lot of people out there that have children from a previous marriage. I
think it is good to mention that you have children, if you have them. Likewise, I
think it is good to mention that you will welcome anyone with children, if you are
indeed okay with that.

Notice how he mentions he has been divorced for 7 years and has had time to
get over any negative emotions from that marriage. He confirms that by saying
he has been able to remain friends with his ex-wife. Many women are afraid to
get involved with a man that is on the rebound and they have good reason to.
So, if you are divorced and have been divorced for a while, be sure to state that.







Section 4: Sample Personal Ad 4:

I am a high-energy person that has a great life. I would love someone special to
share it with!! I love hiking, camping, traveling, fishing, biking, skiing and much,
much more. I am always up for an adventure too!! I spend my evenings listening
to live music and enjoying great food. I love trying out new restaurants. My
weekends normally include an out of town adventure or at least a small day trip. I
just got out of a marriage, but it was a mutual decision and I am okay with
everything. We just had too many differences and were heading two separate
ways. Looking back, we both know that we rushed into the marriage without
really accounting for all of our differences. But, that is over now and I am
continuing to have fun and enjoy life. Want to join me???

My pictures: Picture 1: Me on a camping trip with some buddies last year. Picture
2: Me dressed up for a cancer benefit I was a part of. Picture 3: Me fishing in
Colorado. Picture 4: Me water skiing last summer. Picture 5: A picture taken of
me for the local newspaper when I wrote an article about a restaurant I visit
often.

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Pointers:

Okaythis ad says a lot. But, it also doesnt say a lot. It is high in energy, which
is always good. It shows that the man is fun and has varied interests.

Now, notice that he never once points out what he does for work. What if I told
you that this man was laid off a year ago, and received a fairly decent severance
package. He is also $20,000 + in debt and hasnt worked since his lay off.

Notice how he does mention his recent divorce, but he goes ahead and admits it
was a rushed marriage. With everything else around that small negative, it is
barely noticeable.















Section 4: Personal Ad Exercise:

What action words describe you? What strengths do you have that
women would love to know about? Most ads say general comments
like, I like to have fun. Well, thats great and all, but what in it
separates you from all of the rest? Who says, I like to have a horrible
time? No one! So, of course you like to have fun! Instead though,
say things that will divide you from all of the others and intrigue her
about you. Give her enough to excite her, but just enough where she
wants to know more!

What positive, action words describe you?
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Now, using these words, develop a description of yourself that shows
a truly interesting, diversified personality which will make the reader
want to find out more!

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