Cortez 1

Student Sample A


Date: November 14, 2013


Rating: Well Below (WB)

Commentary:

Student A is an English Language Learner (ELL) in my 2
nd
grade class. During the pre-
writing stage, she was following with the creation of the T-chart as a class. However, as
soon as I sent the students to their seats to do independent work, student A seemed to
keep getting distracted with other things in her desk. I checked on her to clarify what
shes supposed to do and she started writing. Whenever I would turn to check if shes
on task, she seemed to be writing. Without my knowledge, she kept erasing her first
sentence and rewriting it over. She was unable to finish.

The ongoing goals for this student are:
Step by step support to work on introduction, body and conclusion
o Good strategy would be to go over one part at a time in order to build this
students knowledge on the three parts. For example, day one would be
focusing on introduction; next day is body and lastly is conclusion.















Cortez 2
Student A
Benchmark 1
(Well below)
2
(Developing
proficiency)
3
(Meets
expectation)
4
(Exceeds expectation)
W
r
i
t
i
n
g

p
r
o
c
e
s
s
:

P
r
e
-
w
r
i
t
i
n
g
,

D
r
a
f
t
i
n
g

6
+
1

t
r
a
i
t
=

i
d
e
a
s
,

v
o
i
c
e

I can write an opinion piece
that includes an
introduction, my opinion,
my reasons, details from
the book that support my
reason and a conclusion.
(2.W.1: Write opinion pieces
in which they introduce the
topic or book they are writing
about, state an opinion,
supply reasons that support
the opinion, use linking words
(e.g., because, and also) to
connect opinion and reasons,
and provide a concluding
statement or section.)

-Opinion writing is
incomplete.

-Inaccurate
content of the
writing piece.

-Does not include
any: Introduction,
reasons with
details,
conclusion.
-More than half of
the opinion writing
is incomplete.

-Many inaccuracies
in the content of the
writing piece.

-Includes 1 of the 3:
Introduction,
reasons with
details, conclusion.
-A few details of the
opinion writing are
incomplete.

-1-2 inaccuracies in
the content of the
writing piece.

-Includes 2 of the 3:
Introduction,
reasons with details,
conclusion.
-Opinion writing is
complete.

-Accurate content of the
writing piece.

-Includes all 3:
introduction, details
from the book to
support reasons and
conclusion.
Cortez 3






Student A



Benchmark 1
(Well below)
2
(Developing
proficiency)
3
(Meets
expectation)
4
(Exceeds expectation)
W
r
i
t
i
n
g

P
r
o
c
e
s
s
:

R
e
v
i
s
i
n
g
,

E
d
i
t
i
n
g
,

P
u
b
l
i
s
h
i
n
g

6
+
1

t
r
a
i
t
=

o
r
g
a
n
i
z
a
t
i
o
n
,

c
o
n
v
e
n
t
i
o
n
s
,

s
e
n
t
e
n
c
e

f
l
u
e
n
c
y
,

p
r
e
s
e
n
t
a
t
i
o
n

With the help from adults, I
can improve my writing by
rereading my work and
making changes.
(2.W.5 With guidance and
support from adults and
peers, focus on a topic and
strengthen writing as needed
by revising and editing.)

-There were no
changes to
improve the
content and
spelling with adult
support.
-A couple changes
made to improve
the content and
spelling with adult
support.
-Few changes made
to improve the
content and spelling
with adult support.
-Many changes made
to improve the content
and spelling with adult
support.
Cortez 4
















































Student As T-chart
Cortez

5













Student As Incomplete Work
Cortez

6
Student Sample B


Date: November 14, 2013


Rating: Developing Proficiency (DP)


Commentary:

Student B received a DP, which is Developing Proficiency. This student included an
introduction for her writing, which contained a question for her hook and her opinion
statement. The content of her body comprised with many inaccuracies. For example,
she mentioned India starting Thanksgiving and every holiday is celebrated in every
country. These information were not presented in the book therefore they are not
accurate. Throughout their independent work, student B did not ask any adult for help
with either her content or for spelling.

The ongoing goals for this student are:
Work on writing conventions (Capitalization, punctuation, grammar and spelling)
Improve introduction (suggest including a background information of the book)
Improve body paragraph making sure it includes three reasons and details to
support each reason.
Practice more on creating conclusion in her writing















Cortez 7

Student B
Benchmark 1
(Well below)
2
(Developing
proficiency)
3
(Meets
expectation)
4
(Exceeds expectation)
W
r
i
t
i
n
g

p
r
o
c
e
s
s
:

P
r
e
-
w
r
i
t
i
n
g
,

D
r
a
f
t
i
n
g

6
+
1

t
r
a
i
t
=

i
d
e
a
s
,

v
o
i
c
e

I can write an opinion piece
that includes an
introduction, my opinion,
my reasons, details from
the book that support my
reason and a conclusion.
(2.W.1: Write opinion pieces
in which they introduce the
topic or book they are writing
about, state an opinion,
supply reasons that support
the opinion, use linking words
(e.g., because, and also) to
connect opinion and reasons,
and provide a concluding
statement or section.)

-Opinion writing is
incomplete.

-Inaccurate
content of the
writing piece.

-Does not include
any: Introduction,
reasons with
details,
conclusion.
-More than half of
the opinion writing
is incomplete.

-Many inaccuracies
in the content of the
writing piece.

-Includes 1 of the 3:
Introduction,
reasons with
details, conclusion.
-A few details of the
opinion writing are
incomplete.

-1-2 inaccuracies in
the content of the
writing piece.

-Includes 2 of the 3:
Introduction,
reasons with details,
conclusion.
-Opinion writing is
complete.

-Accurate content of the
writing piece.

-Includes all 3:
introduction, details
from the book to
support reasons and
conclusion.
Cortez 8
Student B


Benchmark 1
(Well below)
2
(Developing
proficiency)
3
(Meets
expectation)
4
(Exceeds expectation)
W
r
i
t
i
n
g

P
r
o
c
e
s
s
:

R
e
v
i
s
i
n
g
,

E
d
i
t
i
n
g
,

P
u
b
l
i
s
h
i
n
g

6
+
1

t
r
a
i
t
=

o
r
g
a
n
i
z
a
t
i
o
n
,

c
o
n
v
e
n
t
i
o
n
s
,

s
e
n
t
e
n
c
e

f
l
u
e
n
c
y
,

p
r
e
s
e
n
t
a
t
i
o
n

With the help from adults, I
can improve my writing by
rereading my work and
making changes.
(2.W.5 With guidance and
support from adults and
peers, focus on a topic and
strengthen writing as needed
by revising and editing.)

-There were no
changes to
improve the
content and
spelling with adult
support.
-A couple changes
made to improve
the content and
spelling with adult
support.
-Few changes made
to improve the
content and spelling
with adult support.
-Many changes made
to improve the content
and spelling with adult
support.
Cortez 9
















































Student Bs T-chart
Cortez

10

















































Student Bs Final Draft
Cortez

11
Student Sample C


Date: November 14, 2013


Rating: Exceeds Expectation

Commentary:

Student C received Exceed Expectation. He was able to include all 3 main parts of
writing, which are introduction, body and conclusion. In his introduction, he composed a
question that catches the readers attention. In the body, he stated all three reasons to
support his opinion and included transition words to indicate the first reason, second
reason and last reason. Lastly, he put his writing to a close by asking a question.

Student C worked fast. He was able to reread his writing and make sure it makes
sense. Throughout this process, he also raised his hand many times to ask for help with
spelling.

The ongoing goals for this student are:
Work more with him in elaborating the details in his writing
Improve his introduction (included a hook and topic sentenceto improve I
would suggest that he adds a background information of the book)
Improve his conclusion by suggesting to restate his topic sentence












Cortez 12
Student C
Benchmark 1
(Well below)
2
(Developing
proficiency)
3
(Meets
expectation)
4
(Exceeds expectation)
W
r
i
t
i
n
g

p
r
o
c
e
s
s
:

P
r
e
-
w
r
i
t
i
n
g
,

D
r
a
f
t
i
n
g

6
+
1

t
r
a
i
t
=

i
d
e
a
s
,

v
o
i
c
e

I can write an opinion
piece that includes an
introduction, my opinion,
my reasons, details from
the book that support my
reason and a conclusion.
(2.W.1: Write opinion pieces
in which they introduce the
topic or book they are writing
about, state an opinion,
supply reasons that support
the opinion, use linking
words (e.g., because, and
also) to connect opinion and
reasons, and provide a
concluding statement or
section.)

-Opinion writing is
incomplete.

-Inaccurate
content of the
writing piece.

-Does not include
any: Introduction,
reasons with
details, conclusion.
-More than half of
the opinion writing
is incomplete.

-Many inaccuracies
in the content of the
writing piece.

-Includes 1 of the 3:
Introduction,
reasons with
details, conclusion.
-A few details of the
opinion writing are
incomplete.

-1-2 inaccuracies in
the content of the
writing piece.

-Includes 2 of the 3:
Introduction,
reasons with details,
conclusion.
-Opinion writing is
complete.

-Accurate content of the
writing piece.

-Includes all 3:
introduction, details
from the book to
support reasons and
conclusion.
Cortez 13
Student C

Benchmark 1
(Well below)
2
(Developing
proficiency)
3
(Meets
expectation)
4
(Exceeds expectation)
W
r
i
t
i
n
g

P
r
o
c
e
s
s
:

R
e
v
i
s
i
n
g
,

E
d
i
t
i
n
g
,

P
u
b
l
i
s
h
i
n
g

6
+
1

t
r
a
i
t
=

o
r
g
a
n
i
z
a
t
i
o
n
,

c
o
n
v
e
n
t
i
o
n
s
,

s
e
n
t
e
n
c
e

f
l
u
e
n
c
y
,

p
r
e
s
e
n
t
a
t
i
o
n

With the help from adults, I
can improve my writing by
rereading my work and
making changes.
(2.W.5 With guidance and
support from adults and
peers, focus on a topic and
strengthen writing as needed
by revising and editing.)

-There were no
changes to
improve the
content and
spelling with adult
support.
-A couple changes
made to improve
the content and
spelling with adult
support.
-Few changes made
to improve the
content and spelling
with adult support.
-Many changes made
to improve the content
and spelling with adult
support.
Cortez

14

















































Student Cs T-chart
Cortez

15












































Student Cs Final Draft