True BeIievers - A new pIay by Thom Dunn

True Believers tells the story of aspiring comic book creators, psychotic fanboys, cybernetically
enhanced humans, real-life superheroes, women in refrigerators, and girls who dress like Slave
Leia as their lives intertwine over a whirlwind weekend at a comic book convention.

SYNOPSIS - t's weekend of the big annual comic book convention, and Chad Mailer is a
young professional comic book writer who hit his career peak five years ago with a comic book
series that he never actually finished, and who now wishes to re-ignite his career. Desperate
for one last chance to prove himself to the world, Chad reaches out to Ted Thompson, a newly
divorced comic book editor with whom Chad previously worked. Ted has recently begun a
new relationship with a young woman named Chloe Long, whom he met playing video games
on the internet, and the two have decided to meet in person for the first time at the comic
book convention as well. Meanwhile, Chad must contend with the constant heckling of Billy
Horowitz, a belligerent comic book fan and self-proclaimed "rogue cyborg video blogger who is
determined to destroy Chad's career because he really didn't like that one issue of Wolverine
that Chad wrote that one time, and Billy's (incredibly reluctant) best friend / sidekick Calvin
Elder, a closeted young comic book artist who longs to become a real life superhero. Chad also
attempts to rekindle his relationship with Kt Watts, his former creative partner -- and possibly
more -- whom he has not seen in five years and whose career has now eclipsed his own.

Plus there's this kind of crazy magic-using comic book creator guy who likes to corner people in
the bathroom to discuss the nature of reality versus fiction, thrown in for good measure.

True Believers is about passion. n many ways it's a love story, but not necessarily romantic
love (although there is plenty of that). t's about the fervor that fills every fanboy when his
favorite property is sullied, compelling him to storm the message boards of the internet and
angrily express his unending dismay. t's about Star Wars. t's about sex. t's about art and
inspiration, the desire to create. t's about crazy elaborate costumes and Steampunk Jesus. t's
your typical story of good versus evil, and costumed crusaders that must battle for the sake of
the universe. t's about identity, both accepting who you are and becoming who you want to be.
t's about finding that balance in every aspect of life. t's also about the Cyborg Head of Stan
Lee. t's about saying terribly pretentious-sounding things like:

True Believers is about passion. n many ways it's a love story, but not necessarily romantic love (although
there is plenty of that). t's about the fervor that fills every fanboy when his favorite property is sullied,
compelling him to storm the message board internet and angrily express his unending dismay. t's about
Star Wars. t's about sex. t's about art and inspiration, the desire to create. t's about crazy elaborate
costumes and Steampunk Jesus. t's your typical story of good versus evil, and costumed crusaders that
must battle for the sake of the universe. t's about identity, both accepting who you are and becoming who
you want to be. t's about finding that balance in every aspect of life.

about your own art and still sticking by it even though you know it kind of makes you sound like
a douchebag. But mostly it's about the Cyborg Head of Stan Lee.
True Believers
Current Revisions
7/31/12
Thom Dunn
65 Brookside Avenue Unit 8, Jamaica Plain MA 02130
203.645.2073
ThomDunn@gmail.com
CHARACTERS
Chad Mailer, early 30s. Comic book writer, creator of Night
Shift. High aspirations; doesnt get the attention he thinks
he deserves. Seriously didnt mean to make Wolverine gay.
Billy Horowitz, early 20s. Amateur comic book journalist
(read: video blogger) and Cyborg Rights Activist (he has a
pacemaker). Avid cosplayer.
Ted Thompson, 40s. Comic book editor, currently at DC Comics.
Worked on Night Shift with Chad. Recently divorced. She took
his entire Star Wars collection in the settlement. Yes, that
includes his Han Solo in Carbonite coffee table. Not that
hes bitter or anything.
Chloe Long, 20. Small town girl from Kansas. Flying to the
city for the first time in her life to finally meet her
online boyfriend in person. Shes a little nervous.
Kt Watts, 20s/30s. Artist on Night Shift (as Katie Tulle).
Also wrote the final issue (as Kt Watts). Recently sold the
movie rights to her slice-of-life graphic novel Robots Still
Love You (Until Their Batteries Die). Her roller derby name
is SnatchBox 20.
Calvin Elder, early 20s. By day, a mild mannered aspiring
comic book artist. By night, he dons the mantle of...Avenger!
No, not The Avenger. Just Avenger. You havent heard of
him? Calvin didnt make him up. Hes an original creation.
Ensemble/Box (any age). Comic writer and professional druid
magic user (or at least thats what he says). Actually knows
how to pronounce Cthulhu Ftagn.
Additional ensemble roles.
SETTING:
A Comic Convention in a big city, and several bars nearby.
NOTE: The script is broken down into Panels and Splash
Pages that all weave together like a tapestry. Or, well,
like pages of a comic book. Panels all work together to
form one page on the stage, while Splash Pages take up
the entirety of the stage.
BILLY
But whats the incentive?
CALVIN
Its fun. Some people have fun that doesnt involve heckling
comic book writers on the internet. Im referring here to
people...
BILLY
Whats that supposed to mean?
CALVIN
Nothing! Now shut up and let me draw!
BILLY
Are you insinuating that Im not a person? That because of my
cyborg enhancements Im somehow less than a person?
CALVIN
For the last time, youre not a cyborg, Billy. You have a
pacemaker. Its funny, okay, I get it, but it doesnt make
you a cyborg.
BILLY
Yes it does.
CALVIN
Does your father know youre a cyborg? Cause trust me,
thats the hardest part.
BILLY
My father is a cyborg.
CALVIN
Yup. You went there.
BILLY
I mean my true father. Not that bastard suit who raised me. I
mean the Cyborg Head of Stan Lee.
CALVIN
And how exactly does a Cyborg Head of Stan Lee reproduce?
BILLY
Why, cause you wanna see his robot dick? Is that what youre
into now?
CALVIN
Shut up.
BILLY
Whatever.
(he pouts. Beat.)
This bar sucks.
31.
CALVIN
Why dont you get a drink then?
BILLY
I cant drink. It interferes with my bionic parts.
CALVIN
I give up.
(he goes back to drawing)
Dejected, Billy reaches into his bag
and pulls out the Cyborg Head of Stan
Lee and fidgets with its electronic
components. Calvin doesnt notice
until:
CYBORG HEAD OF STAN LEE
Stay tuned, True Believers! Excelsior!
CALVIN
(jumps)
Would you stop playing with your fake robot dad? Were at a
bar right now!
BILLY
Its not fake.
CALVIN
Whatever. Just put it away.
(Calvin goes back to drawing
and ignores Billy)
BILLY
And its not a robot either! Its a cyborg. Thats like
calling an African-American a...an African.
(beat)
Or an American.
(beat. Whispered:)
Or a ni-
CALVIN
Okay that was totally uncalled for.
BILLY
Just proving my point. Besides, this is gonna help me take
down that asshole comic writer.
CALVIN
You mean Chad Mailer?
BILLY
(covering the ears of the
Cyborg Head)
How dare you speak his name!
32.
CALVIN
Whatever.
BILLY
No! Not whatever! I thought we were on the same page about
this?
CALVIN
Look, the guys an idiot, sure, but whats your grudge?
BILLY
My grudge is him! His superdickerish ego, and his smarmy nods
to continuity. For Stan Lees sake, he made Wolverine gay!
CALVIN
Okay first of all every knows that Wolverines first
appearance wasnt until Incredible Hulk #181, which was
written by Len Wein, and not Stan Lee. And second of all, why
is that such a problem for you? What would it matter if
Wolverine was gay? - which, if you read the comic, he wasnt,
but anyway.
BILLY
Fine. Whatever. You can just go back to drinking and drawing.
Thats all you care about anyway.
Beat. Calvin goes back to drawing.
Suddenly Billy grabs the paper out from
under Calvins pencil.
CALVIN
Hey! What are you -
Billy tears the paper in half and sits
back, satisfied. Calvin grabs another
piece of paper and begins drawing
again.
Meanwhile, Chad enters the bar and
makes his way towards Ted and Kt. Hes
a little drunk.
TED
Ive called like 12 times already. I dont know what else to
do. I mean, I can call the police, but -
KT
Im sure shes fine. Maybe - maybe she just got cold feet.
Maybe she checked into a hotel on her own, or maybe she
panicked and went back home.
TED
But I dont want her to panic and go back home! I want her
here with me!
33.
KT
Look, you called. She knows you care, that youre looking for
her. The balls in her court now.
TED
So what am I supposed to do then?
KT
Exactly what youre doing. Youre working, youre hanging out
with friends, and, you know, whatever else you do at comic
conventions. I dont know what kind of weird rituals you
fancy corporate types get up to.
CHAD
(approaching the group)
Box! Seriously! Fuck that guy!
TED
(less than excited)
Hey Chad.
CHAD
He corners me while Im trying to take a leak, with my
fucking dick in my hand, and starts rubbing it in my face -
not my dick in my face - about his stupid fucking contract
and then -
KT
You are a classy guy, Chad. Anyone ever tell you that?
TED
Are you drunk?
CHAD
A little bit, yeah. This kid at the hotel bar, his dads like
some executive at Fox or something, I dont know, he bought
me a few rounds cause he liked my work, and where was I? Hey
who was that chick in the Slave Leia gear you were hanging
out with earlier?
TED
The what?
CHAD
Kt had some friend with this like punk rock Slave Leia thing
going on when I saw her after the panel, I was just -
TED
Yeah, okay, Im sorry, I cant take this right now. I have a
lot to get ready for tomorrow, have fun.
34.
CHAD
Its all business with you these days! Serious Business Ted,
Ho Ho Ho. What happened to Fun Ted? Lets Get Drunk And Fight
With Plastic Lightsabers Ted?
TED
Well, for one thing, I dont have any plastic lightsabers,
because my ex-wife took them all when she left.
Beat. Chad realizes he may have crossed
a line. Well, maybe.
TED
Good night.
He exits.
CHAD
What was that about?
KT
Women, am I right?
Kt turns to leave, but Chad stops her.
CHAD
Hey actually I had a question for you, whats - whats with
the name change? Kay-tee?
KT
You really wanna know?
CHAD
I asked, didnt I?
KT
Yeah, but that doesnt mean you want to know. Do you really
want everyone you meet to tell you exactly how its going?
CHAD
Well, no. But I want to know about this. Really, I do!
KT
Alright, I developed this really severe allergy - its
incredibly rare - Im allergic to vowels, see, so I had to
get rid of them in order to -
CHAD
Yeah, okay, hilarious.
KT
I thought it was pretty clever. If you actually want to know -
35.
CHAD
I do! I thought I said that, like twice...
KT
Well, you asked for it. Lets hope you can handle this. Are
you ready?
(dramatic beat)
Ive got the death sentence on twelve systems.
CHAD
Thats it. Im outta here.
(he makes to leave)
KT
Alright! Fine! Relax, jeez. If you have to know - which,
apparently you do - it was...I guess almost 5 years ago now.
Right after that last issue of Night Shift came out, and my
mother had just passed away.
CHAD
Im sorry. Wow. I hadnt heard.
KT
Well considering that the last time we spoke was - oh look
five years ago what a coincidence - and I told you then she
wasnt doing so hot, it shouldnt come as that much of a
surprise. Anyway, I decided to kind of re-brand myself as a
writer, now that I was doing that as well. Watts was my
mothers maiden name. Plus, ya know, it pissed my dad off, so
thats always good.
CHAD
Okay. What about the Kay Tee?
KT
I thought it looked cool.
CHAD
...thats it?
KT
Yeah. Whatd you expect? It separated me that much more from
Katie Tulle. Think of it like a baptism. I even went
swimming afterward.
CHAD
Really?
KT
No.
CHAD
Oh. Listen, Kt - Im sorry I forgot. About your mom, and all -
36.
KT
Its fine. Seriously. Its like the most serious fine. Like a
moving traffic violation fine, thats how serious it is.
CHAD
Its just that I - ya know, I feel bad. Just...you know.
KT
Im not sure that was a complete sentence. Maybe Im wrong --
you are the writer here and all.
CHAD
Its just, we havent seen each other in a while, so I -
KT
Well, yeah. You fucked me, and when I blinked you were gone.
You could have at least given me twenty bucks for a cab.
CHAD
I...sometimes I cant tell when youre joking?
KT
What? Maybe Im making things up. But - that is what
happened, yes?
CHAD
I told you, I had a -- I had a flight to catch, and you just -
- I didnt wanna -
KT
- bother to show a little human decency. You wouldnt even e-
mail me after that. You didnt even write your last script.
CHAD
I was in a weird place then - I told you that. I didnt know
else what to do, so...I left. And then I felt weird about
leaving after I already left, so I then felt weird talking to
you after I already left because I felt weird about that so -
KT
So you just gave up and threw in the towel on your critically
acclaimed comic book because GASP! you had emotions. Why do I
have trouble believing that?
(beat)
Look, relax. Im not pissed. It was a dick move, okay,
whatever. I probably shouldnt say dick move in this
context. But we were both in a weird place. Youd just lost
your mom. I was losing mine. We had a moment. It happens.
Maybe we had some connection there. Whatever. I honestly did
not come here expecting to do this -- and Im not like
waiting for an apology or something either Im just -- Im
the one who got fucked and fucked over, but youre the one
still dwelling on it.
37.
CHAD
Fucked over? If that hadnt happened, you wouldnt have had
the chance to write that final issue, and youd still be
regular old Katie Tulle.
KT
So youre saying that I owe you my career, because you
wouldnt buy me breakfast after a one night stand.
(silence)
That is what you just said, right?
CHAD
Thats not what I meant...
KT
But...you said it...
CHAD
You changed the ending.
KT
Excuse me?
CHAD
Of Night Shift. You changed the ending of the story.
KT
Okay? Am I supposed to apologize or something? I mean, sure,
we had some synergy on the project, wed bounce ideas around.
But you were always coy about the ending. Like you wanted to
surprise me. When it came time to finish the story, Ted and I
talked it over, and it seemed like the only ending that made
any sense. So Im sorry, if youre upset or unhappy with it,
but...well, Im not sorry, because you could have written
your own fucking script.
CHAD
Yeah. We were a pretty good team together, you and me.
KT
We were.
CHAD
Right. I need another drink. Like a moose needs a fuckin hat
rack. Do you want something?
KT
Uh, sure. Whiskeys good.
CHAD
Whiskey?
KT
On the rocks. Hold the rufies.
38.
CHAD
Got it.
Chad is about to get up from his seat,
but at the last second, he sits back
down
You know, even to this day, the only thing anyone talks about
is how amazing the ending was. How it really made the story.
The thing is, I agree with them. Always have.
As Chad stands up, he accidentally
bumps into Billy, who is heading back
to his table with several drinks ins
hand. The drinks spill everywhere, even
dripping down the table and onto Kt.
Chad doesnt recognize Billy, but Billy
knows him.
CHAD
Shit. Shit! Fuck! Im so sorry man.
Billy panics. He is frozen, like a deer
in headlights. Meanwhile, Kt jumps up
from the table, now that the drinks
have spilled all over her outfit.
KT
Okay thats not where I wanted my drink. Im gonna - yeah.
She exits.
CHAD
Are you -- are you okay?
(Billy nods, silently)
Here, do you want me to buy you a round, or --
(Billy shakes his head)
Okay. Are you sure youre alright.
(Billy nods. Then runs away)
Okay...
Chad looks around for Kt but sees that
she is gone
Fuck.
As Billy runs back to Calvins side,
Chad continues trying to clean up the
mess of drinks he made.
BILLY
(running, panicked)
Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Chad Mailer. He saw me. Chad Mailer saw me.
CALVIN
What?
39.
BILLY
Chad Mailer. He saw me. Without my mask. He saw my face
without my mask.
Billy motions to Calvin for his asthma
inhaler. Calvin hands it to him.
CALVIN
Okay?
BILLY
What if...what if he recognized me? Oh Gods. Now he knows who
I am, he knows that Im here, he knows - shit. Shit. Im so
screwed. Shit. Give me a nacho. I need a nacho.
CALVIN
Wait, Billy - are you sure he recognized you? I mean, hes
only ever seen you in a costume, right?
BILLY
Right.
CALVIN
So how is he going to recognize you if hes never seen your
face?
BILLY
I dont get it.
CALVIN
Bruce Wayne could be standing right next to the Riddler, but
the Riddler doesnt know that hes also Batman. So, in
effect, Bruce Wayne and the Riddler are actually safe from
one another for the time being. Its a stalemate.
BILLY
Are we talking like pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths, or post-
New52? Because it completely depends on which continuity
youre referring to.
CALVIN
Okay, it was just an example. Itd be the same with Two-Face.
BILLY
Why would Bruce Wayne be standing next to Two-Face in the
first place? Hes a sociopath, Bruce wouldnt be safe at all -
CALVIN
It was just an example! Okay!
BILLY
Alright. Jeez. Relax.
40.