December 2014

MAGAZI NE
De c e mb e r 2 0 1 4
CEMETERY FUNERAL CREMATION
At Congressional,
dog-walkers help
fund cemetery, keep
it safe from vandals
Lemasters: Dos and
donts for evolving pet
death-care profession
Four skills you can
develop for better
client relationships
Wanted for cemetery
and funeral home
work: Diplomats
Ellis, Remkus to
receive inaugural Pet
Loss Pioneer Awards
Pet Loss Profession
Survey results
Get ready for 2015:
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4 ICCFA Magazine Like the ICCFA on Facebook & friend ICCFA Staf
The Day of the Dog and Pictures With
Santa are two of the regular events at
Congressional Cemetery in Washington,
D.C., which welcomes and benefts fnan-
cially from dog-walkers. Story, page 14.
DE C E MB E R 2 0 1 4
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1 0 PETS/LEGAL ISSUES
The evolving pet death-care profession: 3 dos & 3 donts
The pet death-care profession is evolving quickly. That means things are
changing rapidly, and you can either be on top of things or risk getting
crushed by them. Start by making sure you take care of these basic dos
and donts.
by Poul Lemasters, Esq.
1 4 PETS/COMMUNITY OUTREACH
Heel; sit; stay; roll overand dont walk on the graves Some people
see a dog walker in a cemetery and are taken aback. Others think its a
nice use of a park-like setting. At Congressional Cemetery in Washing-
ton, D.C., dogs and the people who love them are not only welcome but
also an integral part of the cemeterys budget and community outreach.
interview of Paul Williams by Susan Loving
1 6 Some other cemeteries that allow dogson a leash
Historic Oakland Cemetery, Truro Public Cemetery,
City of Savannah Cemeteries, City of Kitchener Cemeteries
1 9 Think & plan before you allow pets into a people place
2 0 SERVICE TO FAMILIES/PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Four skills you can develop for better relationships with clients Being
able to communicate well is a crucial and basic business skill, particu-
larly for professionals who deal with death and grief. Its also something
8 Washington Report
What you dont know about
social media and work can hurt
you
by Robert M. Fells, Esq.
39 Update
42 Supply Line
45 Calendar
45 New Members
46 Classifieds
46 Ad Index
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December 2014
VOLUME 74/NUMBER 10
ICCFA officers
Fred Lappin, CCE, president
Darin B. Drabing, president-elect
Jay D. Dodds, CFSP, vice president
Christine Toson Hentges, CCE,
vice president
Scott R. Sells, CCFE, vice president
Michael Uselton, CCFE, vice president
Gary M. Freytag, CCFE, treasurer
Daniel L. Villa, secretary
Robert M. Fells, Esq., executive director &
general counsel
Magazine staff
Susan Loving, managing editor
sloving@iccfa.com
Rick Platter, supplier relations manager
rplatter@iccfa.com; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1213
Robert Treadway, director of
communications & member services
robt@iccfa.com; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1224
Robert M. Fells, Esq., executive director &
publisher
rfells@iccfa.com ; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1212
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& association liaison
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3 2 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Wanted for funeral home, cemetery work: Diplomats The art of
diplomacy is as important at the funeral home or cemetery as it is at
the State Department.
by Todd W. Van Beck, CCFE
T A B L E OF C ONT E NT S ICCFA news
35 Ellis, Remkus to receive
inaugural Pet Loss Pioneer Awards
35 2013 PLPA Pet Loss Profession
Survey results published
36 Wide World of Sales
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by ICCFA
General Counsel
Robert M. Fells,
Esq.
T
oday it seems that everyone uses the Internet
for staying in touch with family, friends,
co-workers and even complete strangers we
encounter on social media sites such as Facebook.
The communications revolution has caused a
cer tain amount of turmoil in the workplace. Super-
visors are concerned over employees socializing in
cyberspace when they should be working.
A more serious problem is when an employee
uses Faceback, Twitter or other social media site
to badmouth the boss or the company. A bosss
kneejerk reaction is to discipline the offending
worker, but the National Labor Relations Board
(NLRB), an agency of the U.S. Department of
Labor, says, Not so fast.
In many circumstances, an employees criticism
of the boss or the company on the Internet is
considered protected speech by the NLRB.
Under section 7 of the National Labor Relations
Act, such employee comments and criticisms are
protected, and employers who attempt to discipline
the worker have been found to engage in illegal
conduct.
NLRB general counsel opinions published in
August 2011 and January and May 2012 have
identifed four points in determining that a social
media posting is protected speech. Such posts are
protected if they:
a. Involve terms and conditions of employment;
b. Are a logical outgrowth of some earlier
discussion among co-workers about those terms
and conditions;
c. Are directed to or involve other co-workers;
and
d. Intend to invite or encourage further action
from those co-workers.
However, comments that are merely gripes
or complaints, especially if not directed to co-
workers, are not protected under Sec. 7. These
are actual examples cited by the NLRB of an
employers unlawful policies/practices against a
worker:
a. Terminating an employee who made and
received comments on her Facebook page about
her supervisor, whom she called a scumbag.
b. Terminating an employee who commented on
a co-workers Facebook page that their manager
was such an asshole for improperly deducting
taxes from their pay.
c. Terminating an employee who posted pictures
of, and sarcastic comments about, food and
beverages that were served by his company as part
of a sales promotion event.
The NLRB also identifed examples of lawful
employer policies /practices:
a. Terminating an employee who posted
inappropriate comments about mentally disabled
patients she cared for during a Facebook conver-
sation with two friends who were not co-workers.
b. Terminating a bartender who commented
on Facebook about his employers tipping policy,
and called customers rednecks and hoped they
choked on glass as they drove home drunk.
c. Maintaining a policy that requires employees
to respond to all media questions by replying
that they are not authorized to comment for the
employer, to take the name and number of the
media organization and to call the companys
public affairs offce.
Basically, the NLRB fnds social media policies
unlawful if they are vague or overly broad. For
example, prohibiting inappropriate or improper
language will be found unlawful, but prohibiting
profanity, threats or intimidation has been found
lawful. In other words, it helps to be specifc when
advising workers about conduct on social media
sites that could subject them to disciplinary actions.
To date, there has been at least one important
published court ruling affecting funeral profes-
sionals. The Minnesota state court in 2012 held,
in the case of Tatro v. University of Minnesota,
that a junior year student in the mortuary science
program was properly disciplined by the school for
violating the code of professional conduct in online
postings.
The student posted comments about a cadaver
that she named Bernie, and said she wanted to
attack certain people she disliked with a trocar.
The decision was cited as the frst social media
litigation involving a students right of free speech.
In addition, employers may want to review their
own use of social media and email when sending
sensitive or confdential information online.
Under revised rules of discovery in many
jurisdictions, individuals have been required in the
course of investigations or litigation to provide
their user names, passwords and pin numbers to
allow other parties to access their email and posts.
Finally, all employee handbooks should be
updated to contain a social media policy advising
workers of conditions on their use of the Internet.
The NLRB model social media policy
can be accessed at www.iccfa.com/fles/
SocialMediaPolicy.pdf. r
What you dont know about social
media and work can hurt you
Washington Report
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PETS/ LEGAL I SSUES
The pet death-care profession is evolving quickly.
That means things are changing rapidly, and you can either
be on top of things or risk getting crushed by them. Start
by making sure you take care of these basic dos and donts.
The evolving pet death-care
profession: 3 dos & 3 donts
513.407.8114
poul@lemastersconsulting.com
Lemasters is principal of Lemasters
Consulting, Cincinnati, Ohio.
www.lemastersconsulting.com
He is an attorney and funeral director,
graduated from the Cincinnati College of
Mortuary Science in 1996 and from North-
ern Kentucky University, Chase College of
Law, in 2003. He is licensed as a funeral
director and embalmer in Ohio and West
Virginia and admitted to practice law in
Ohio and Kentucky.
ICCFA Magazine author spotlight
Go to www.iccfa.com to the Cremation
Coaching Center, where you can post a
question for Lemasters to answer.
Lemasters will be among the speakers
at the ICCFA 2015 Annual Convention &
Exposition, which will be April 8-11 at the
Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center
and The Grand Hyatt San Antonio, San
Antonio, Texas. A full program and regis-
tration form will be included in the January
issue of ICCFA Magazine, with regular
updates and registration forms also avail-
able at www.iccfa.com.
More from this author
ICCFA membership beneft
He is the ICCFAs special crema-
tion legal counsel. ICCFA members in
good standing may call him to discuss
cremation-related legal issues for up to 20
minutes at no charge to the member. The
association pays for this service via an
exclusive retainer.
Lemasters also provides, to ICCFA mem-
bers in good standing, free GPL reviews to
check for Funeral Rule compliance.
W
hat do I need to do as a
provider in the pet death-care
profession? This is a question
asked by those who are new to the
profession and also those who have been
involved for many, many years. This is
because though it seems that pet death-care
services have been around for a long time,
changes seem to be happening quickly.
Laws concerning pets are being
introduced in record numbers, and, not to
scare anyone, but court cases dealing with
pets are increasing, too. Get the image of
a dog sitting in the witness stand out of
your head, and picture a pet owner suing
because something happened to his or her
pet.
Wait; let me restate that: Picture a pet
parent in court, suing because something
happened to his or her child.
Faced with constant change, how
should you react? I cant cover everything
you should and should not do in one
article, but Im going to focus on several
good and bad practices anyone in the
evolving pet death-care profession should
think about.
Three Dos
Take care of paperwork
Yes, leave it to the attorney to start off by
listing paperwork as one thing you should
do. But the fact is, its amazing to me
actually, its quite scaryhow few people
have all their documentation for their pet
death-care business in order.
What paperwork do I recommend?
There is no specifc list because every
business set-up is different, but overall, a
business should have enough paperwork
to track each part of the pet cremation
process. Typically, this would include:
Authorization by the pet owner for
cremation;
Third-party agreement between
pet cremation provider and vet;
Crematory log to document
cremations; and
Receipt for cremated remains.
While all contracts and forms are
important, the cremation authorization
is the focal point in this profession. This
one form is typically the only one that
identifes what the pet crematory is being
hired to do, and gives consent for the
crematory to provide those services.
Yet many pet crematory operations
still do not have a complete authorization
formthey might not be using one
at all, or might be using a form that is
incomplete, that gathers insuffcient
information.
A complete pet cremation authorization
form should include a section identifying
the pet and also the pets owner. Without
proper upfront information about the pet
and the owner, it is impossible to create a
good tracking system.
The form also should include a
description of the types of cremation your
business offers (private, portioned and/
or communal). Keep in mind that while
many providers like to fuff exactly what a
private cremation is and what a portioned
one is, issue are arising when consumers
learn that the private cremation they
thought their pet was getting was not in
fact a true private.
Make sure your defnitions are clear and
look to national standards/defnitions like
those offered by the PLPA for wording and
guidelines.
Your cremation authorization form
also should include a signature line for
acceptance, acknowledgement and release
of potential liability. (Members in good
Start every day at the ICCFA Caf at www.iccfa.com December 2014 11

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standing can download a sample Pet Cre ma-
tion Authorization form at www.iccfa.com.)
The signature should be that of the pet owner,
who is your true client.
In some cases, veterinarians are the
actual contact between the family and
the pet death-care provider, so your
authorization form may have the option
of a signature line for the vet or vets
representative.
If this option is chosen, the line should
identify that the vet/vet rep has explained
all options to the pet owner and has been
given the authority to sign on their behalf.
While this isnt the best option, it does
provide a level of protection for you.
Have a proper ID process in place
In any cremation, pet or human, the
identifcation process is critical. Many
people, upon receiving cremated remains,
question if those are truly the remains of
their loved one.
Your identifcation process must be
able to provide a convincing answer to the
common question, How do I know this is
Fido?
Your ID process starts with the initial
gathering of information and must
continue through to when the cremated
remains are released to the family.
For private and portioned cremations,
a steel disc and numbering system is
minimal. Make sure that all paperwork
includes the number so that everything is
coordinated.
Make sure each item containing
cremated remains is also marked and
identifed properly. This means the urn
or urns, as well as the bag containing the
cremated remains, should each be labeled
with the name and number.
For communal cremations, your track-
ing process should identify each pet placed
into the retort. After each cremation, there
should be a tracking process detailing how
and where those cremated remains were
disposed of.
Always bear in mind the importance
of transparency. Some providers simply
dump the cremated remains of communal
cremations, and in many states, doing so is
legal. But if that is your practice, identify
it and own it. If you mislead the consumer
about how a communal cremation is done
or where the remains are taken, you are
asking for trouble
Make sure you have the right insurance
This is not a plug for any particular
insurance company. Im simply telling
you, as an attorney, that as a business
owner, you need to have the right
insurance.
I hate hearing about a frm having a
small, defendable legal issue, only to
discover they are not insured and must pay
for a defense out of their own pocket.
Insurance is a necessary product for any
business, but especially for any business
that deals with the public and in which
possible damages are diffcult to measure.
In obtaining insurance, make sure you
talk to your carrier and explain exactly
what you do. Explain issues you have and
ones you fear. You need to educate your
insurer so they understand your business
and can help you protect it.
Its also worthwhile to check on the
insurance of businesses youre involved
with.
Do the vets you service have insurance
that covers the actions of your business?
Are the vets you serve covered for
mistakes you might make? Getting the
answers to these kinds of questions can
lead to all of you being better protected.
Pet death-care insurance coverage is
limited at this point because the area and
the issues it brings with it are still new. As
the pet death-care feld continues to grow,
as the protection and rights of pets and
their owners continue to evolve, pet death-
care insurance will evolve, as well.
Three donts
Dont give away money
Any business should stand on its own in
terms of fnancial stability. Nevertheless,
there are still providers that offer money,
a kickback, if you will, to vets who use
their services.
There are many ways to look at the
practice, and many ways to rationalize
doing it. But the bottom line is, its a bad
practice that can lead to bigger problems.
The PLPA recently conducted a mock
trial revolving around the improper
cremation of a pet, and the members of
the general public who volunteered to
participate in the trial as jurors raised this
issue.
(For an in-depth analysis of this mock
trial you can download the whitepaper
Molly the Million Dollar Retriever at
LemastersConsulting.com)
At the conclusion of the trial, the jurors
commented on the veterinarians share
of the responsibility for the improper
cremation. They unanimously agreed that
if the vet had not received any money,
had simply referred the pet owner to the
crematory, the vet should not be liable for
damages.
But if the vet received a portion of
the fee, or charged their own fee for
the cremation, they were as liable and
responsible as the crematory for the
wrongful cremation.
Dont think of pets as property
The common law in all 50 states holds that
pets are personal property. This means that
if a pet is harmed or killed and damages
must be decided, the damage award will
be equal to the pets value. As with any
personal property, that value is set at
replacement cost.
But while this is the base law in all
50 states, it is changing. Many providers
run their businesses on the premise that if
something goes wrong, the damages in any
case would be small. This is short-sighted
and could lead to a costly surprise.
Many states are beginning to allow
additional damages for the loss of or
harm to a pet. The most costly of these
are emotional damages, which take into
consideration the value of the pet to that
owner.
In determining a pets value to the
owner, courts are looking at that owners
bond with their pet. People in the pet
In any cremation, pet or human, the identifcation process is critical.
Many people, upon receiving cremated remains, question if those are truly the remains
of their loved one. Your identifcation process must be able to provide a convincing answer
to the common question, How do I know this is Fido?
PETS/ LEGAL I SSUES
death-care profession have a good
appreciation for just how strong that bond
can be. They should not be surprised
that, in fact, courts are now comparing
pets to children in many cases and using
language such as In the best interest of
the petlanguage once exclusively used
for children.
Dont let others run your business
Pet providers are sometimes pushed to
make decisions not only based on what
they want, or how they want to operate,
but also based on what is economically
feasible.
For example, a pet provider may want
to do only private cremations, but the
market may not support this option. This
balancing act can lead business to make
decisions that confict with their practices,
policies and procedures.
As a businessperson, it is important
for you to know the difference between
making a decision based on outside
factors versus making changes because an
outside factor is forcing you. It is subtle a
distinction, but the repercussions can be
drastic.
In the case where a business chooses to
make a change in its operation because of
outside factors, the change should be a part
of the way you operate going forward. This
means that your policies and procedures
will refect the change.
On the other hand, when an outside
factor forces a change, a business may
bend the policies and procedures for one
customer but not for others.
The latter practice can lead to increased
liability.
It is important that you, the business
owner, make your own decisions and then
stand by and implement them across the
board.
These are but a few things to consider
in your pet death-care operation. Some
may seem like common sense, and others
may seem impossible. Keep in mind that
change is a process.
Pet cremation is not the same today as
it was 25 years ago, and it will not be the
same in the next 25 years eitherit will
change. As a provider, you have the option
of letting change defne your business, or
make the changes you want and slowly
work to defne the future of the pet death-
care profession. r
MKJ AD1 of 2
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PETS/ LEGAL I SSUES
PETS/ COMMUNI TY OUTREACH
S
hould dog-walkers be banned from or
welcomed into cemeteries? It seems
to depend on the cemeteryand the
community. Google the topic and youll fnd
opinions ranging all across the spectrum:
If I was buried, I would want nothing
more than to feel the pitter-patter of doggie
feet above me.
I would never think to let my dogs
run around on top of the grave markers of
somebodys loved ones, and there are the
defecation issues.
Personally, I would prefer to be buried
in a dog park than a regular old cemetery. At
least I would get some visitors on a regular
basis!
Its illegal to have a dog in the ceme-
teries in my city. So there are people around
here who dont think its appropriate.
There are cemeteries that expressly forbid
dog-walkers via their regulations. There are
those that dont address the issue. There are
those that invite dog-walkers in for special
tours or occasions such as Christmas photos
(something funeral homes also do). But there
might be only one that makes moneyand
not just a token amount but a six-figure
sumfrom a dog-walking program.
Congressional Cemetery in Washington,
D.C., is not large in comparison to many
other major historic cemeteries, but its 35
acres constitute a welcome greenbelt in the
nations capitol.
In the 1990s, a group of dog-walkers
started chipping in money to help keep the
grass mowed in the cemetery, which was
placed on The National Trust for Historic
Preservations 1997 list of Americas 11 Most
Endangered Historic Places.
Today, the historic cemetery is full of
activity and actively pursuing sales. And the
dog-walkers are even more involved in the
revitalized cemetery. Paul Williams, president
of the Associa tion for the Preservation of
Historic Congres sional Cemetery, reports that
this year the K9 Corps dogwalking program
will bring in about $190,000, or about 20
percent of the cemeterys operating budget.
And all of it is revenue the cemetery can
spend as needed. Its remarkable to have
that much unrestricted money fow into the
cemetery, Williams said.
The K9 Corps and its benefts
This year, there are 770 dogs licensed to
be walked in Congressional. We slowly
grew and were at 700 dogs for a number
of years, Williams said. The committee
decided we could grow by 10 percent,
and I think its about the right size. Its a
little busy at yappy hour, as we call it,
between 5 and 8 p.m., when people come
home from work, but theres not really a
problem. People come and go at different
times and they disperse throughout the
grounds.
Some people see a dog walker in a cemetery and are
taken aback. Others think its a nice use of a park-like setting.
At Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C., dogs
and the people who love them are not only welcome but also
an integral part of the cemeterys budget and community outreach.
Heel; sit; stay; roll over
and dont walk on the graves
slovingiccfa@yahoo.com,
sloving@iccfa.com
by ICCFA Magazine
Managing Editor Susan Loving
ICCFA Magazine subject spotlight
More from Paul Williams
to page 17
Williams will speak about the cemeterys
many successful outreach programs, in-
cluding the K9 Corps dogwalking program,
at the ICCFA 2015 Annual Convention &
Exposition, which will be April 8-11 at the
Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center
and The Grand Hyatt San Antonio, San
Antonio, Texas. A full program and regis-
tration form will be included in the January
issue of ICCFA Magazine, with regular
updates and registration forms also avail-
able at www.iccfa.com.
Visitors enjoy a Congressional Cem-
etery Day of the Dog event.
Congressional Cemeterys advertising
and marketing often display a humorous
touch, as in this K9 Corps poster for a
Day of the Dog event.
pwilliams@
congressionalcemetery.org
Paul Williams is presi-
dent of the Association for
the Preservation of Historic
Congressional Cemetery,
which manages the Wash-
ington, D.C., cemetery.
The private cemetery, a 35-acre burial
ground located on Capitol Hill, was initially
known as the Washington Parish Burial
Ground. The K9 Committee, formed in the
1990s, became an offcial organization of the
cemetery association in 2007.
www.congressionalcemetery.org
www.cemeterydogs.org
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T
hough Congressional Cemeterys money-
making K9 Corps may be unique, there
are numerous other cemeteries that allow
people to walk their dogs on the grounds.
Some encourage dog-walking. White Haven
Memorial Park in Pittsford, New York,
includes pet-friendly hiking trails on its guide
map. A few others:
Historic Oakland Cemetery,
Atlanta, Georgia
We have not had any major problems out
of the ordinary or different from any other
dog-friendly location. We occasionally run
into issues with people not picking up after
their dog or taking their pet off-leash, but by
and large our visitors and their pets are very
respectful of Oakland Cemetery.
The majority of our visitors enjoy and
appreciate that they can bring their pet
along for a walk among our cemeterys
gardens or to one of Oaklands special
seasonal events.
As pets are increasingly treated as non-
human members of the family, we think our
visitors enjoy bringing their pet along for
the fun events at Oakland instead of leaving
them at home.
We are also a part of many peoples
morning or evening exercise routine, and
lots of joggers come through Oakland
with their pet in tow, which makes for a
unique exercise route.Pamela Henman,
marketing & public relations manager,
Historic Oakland Foundation
Truro Public Cemetery, Truro,
United Kingdom
(Editors note: Truro last year lifted a ban
on dogs in the cemetery after fnding the
ban diffcult to enforce.)
I must say it has created a few problems,
re. dog mess, but the situation is more
manageable, as we do not have the
problem of having to upset loved ones
approaching graves.
It has also encouraged a few dog walkers
locally to visit the cemetery. However, it is
not out of control.Richard Budge, parks
manager, City of Truro
City of Kitchener Cemeteries, Ontario
We changed our bylaws about eight years
ago. Previously dogs were not allowed.
It seemed to me to be a bit archaic to not
allow dogs, so I thought I would at least
give it a try.
My rules stipulate that the dogs must
be kept on a leash and must be kept on
pathways or roadways. I have added special
signage and special waste receptacles to
encourage the proper disposal of dog waste
and make it less of chore for staff to empty.
I have had no complaints whatsoever
with this change. We have absolutely seen
an increase in walkers and dogs in our
cemetery with this change. However, I feel
good about having more people utilizing the
property.
We are in effect encouraging the
right people in our cemetery and I think
discouraging those folks who would
cause problems when the property has
a deserted feel to it. Allowing dogs
fts with one of our strategic objectives,
which is to encourage passive recreational
activities.Lorelei Eckel-Braun, manager
of cemeteries, City of Kitchener
City of Savannah Cemeteries, Georgia
The following is an excerpt from the Rules
and Regulations of Municipal Cemeteries:
All pets must be held frmly on a leash
held by a person while in the cemeteries.
No animals, except seeing-eye dogs, shall
be allowed in any of the cemetery buildings
without the written permission of the
director of cemeteries.
The owner or keeper of any animal
which trespasses upon the cemetery
grounds shall be liable for any damage
caused by said animal. The city shall not
be liable for any damage done by animals
and does not assume responsibility for
keeping animals out of the cemeteries. No
horses or large animals are allowed in the
cemetery without written permission from
the director of cemeteries.
The city also has a pet waste disposal
ordinance. Savannahs cemeteries are rural
and people have let their dogs run in the
cemeteries for years. We have had problems
with feral dogs or packs of dogs tearing
up turf and urinating on monuments. As a
result, we enforce the leash rule and hold
the owners accountable. Live traps are used
to catch feral dogs.
There is considerable wildlife in the
rural cemeteries and unrestrained dogs are
not compatible. Under no circumstances
should a dog be allowed to trespass on a
cemetery lot in proximity to monuments
or markers.Jerry Flemming, director,
Department of Cemeteries, City of
Savannah r
Some other cemeteries that allow dogs--on a leash
The website for Kitcheners cemeter-
ies, www.kitchenercemeteries.ca, has a
beautifully done video that encourages
passive recreational use of the grounds.
These photos
were taken at
Historic Oakland
Cemeterys Sun-
day in the Park
Victorian street
festival. Some
dogs even wore
the right hats for
the event.
FAR RIGHT, PHOTO BY
BONNIE MORET
Each dog owner pays for a $225 tax-
deductible, one-year membership, plus a fee
of $50 per dog. There are about 600 dog-
walkers, with some people owning more than
one dog.
In D.C., we have some pretty wealthy
and well-connected dog-walkers, Williams
added. We get a lot of additional donations
every year from the K9 Corps members. One
donates $10,000 a year just because they love
the program so much.
In addition to unrestricted revenue, the
program brings other benefts, Williams said.
Whats really great for us is it keeps the
cemetery so secure. Like many cemeteries,
Congressional is closed to the general
public from dusk to dawn. The grounds are
completely fenced in, but the gate is left open
to accommodate dog-walkers.
As a result, We dont have any vandal-
ism, Williams said. We dont have kids
drinking in here, or anybody thats not
supposed to be in here causing trouble,
tipping over headstones, because the dog-
walkers come in 24 hours a dayits
amazing. Ive had people say to me, I got
a late start today, I was in the cemetery at 4
a.m. Im thinking, What? Thats late?
Theyre the frst ones to call me on
a Saturday night to tell me that a tree fell
down during a storm, or theres a breach in
the fence or a problem with fooding. So its
really a nice built-in system for management;
we have 600 pairs of eyes and ears keeping
track of whats going on in the cemetery.
Having dogs constantly patrolling
the grounds also tends to keep out other
animalsones that would do far more harm
than a dog could, Williams said. You really
dont want a groundhog living in and digging
in a cemetery. And the dogs keep out the
Canadian geese, which can really wreak
havoc in a cemetery. Im sure the local golf
course hates us, because its close by and all
the geese land at the golf course and not the
cemetery.
The fact that the dogs keep out other
critters provides an answer to one objection
some people have to allowing dogs in
the cemetery, the issue of defecation.
The dogs keep out the
Canadian geese, which can
really wreak havoc in a
cemetery.Paul Williams
PETS/ COMMUNI TY
OUTREACH
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Congressional, like other cemeteries that
allow dog-walkers, expects due diligence
from owners as far as removing any messes
their dogs make. It can be more diffcult
in Congressional, though, because, due to
the fence all around the cemetery, dogs are
allowed off leash.
They pick up after their dogs, of course,
when they see it, Williams said, but people
are encouraged to pick up any dog waste
they see. Chances are, your dog ran out of
sight and you didnt see what it did, so the
theory is, somebody else is going to pick up
your dogs mess and you pick up some other
dogs.
The system seems to work, Williams said.
And you know, if there werent dogs doing
their business in the cemetery, all the wild
animals would be doing their business. Wed
have droppings from deer and raccoons and
groundhogs and fox and whatever else is
lurking in the woodsand no human picks
that up.
The dog-walking program also provides
the cemetery with a steady stream of volun-
teers, Williams said. In addition to the
annual fees, we also require them to put in
eight hours of volunteer time per year. The
thousands of hours of volunteer time means
Congressional has plenty of ticket-takers,
servers and other help at its various fund-
raising and community outreach events.
And dog-walkers not only work those
events, they attend. Its a built-in list of
people to market our Halloween gala or
concerts or lectures to, Williams said.
The volunteers log in their hours online so
that Congressional can track who is putting
in their hours and whos not. Sometimes
well bargain with them, Williams said. In
exchange for not putting in the hours, maybe
theyll donate 10 cases of wine to our gala.
There are several events held just for pet
people. The annual Day of the Dog is a major
summer event, featuring a costume contest,
vendors, music and pet adoption.
Yappy Hour is held at least once a month
when the weather is nice. Its not a big
money-maker, but it provides a welcome
time for pet parents to socialize. It brings
together all the dogs and the humans for
some cocktails and food out in the cemetery,
Williams said. The dog-walkers make
friends; they make business connections. I
think since Ive been here weve had at least
four dog-walkers marry each other.
The Christmas event at which dog-walkers
pay $10 to have their dogs picture taken with
Santa is so popular that two Santa Clauses are
working it this year, Williams reported. (Two
Santas would be hard to explain to children,
but the dogs are unlikely to ask embarrassing
questions.)
The rules
Congressional tries to make sure only people
who have paid for the privilege are walking
their dogs at the cemetery. When people sign
up, they provide verifcation of shots and we
give them a dog tag, which is a different color
every year, Williams said.
The cemetery has paid a gate-checker
to watch the entrance at randomly chosen
times, different hours every week, to verify
membership. There were some non-
members trying to come in, but when they
see her, they turn around and leave.
The K9 Corps program has a long list
of rules members must follow, including
staying away from burials and people visiting
gravesites; staying in control of their dogs;
being respectful of monuments; and not
throwing balls or Frisbeesor anything else.
We ask people when they have a funeral
if they want it closed to dogs, and some
people dont. They say, Dad was a dog lover;
hed love to have dogs running around.
But if a family feels differently, We post
signs where a funeral is going to take place
so dog-walkers can avoid that section of the
cemetery.
Dogs must be leashed when entering and
leaving the cemetery but can be unleashed
once inside, which is unusual. Cemeteries
that allow dog-walking typically require dogs
to be leashed at all times (see page 16).
It might seem counterintuitive, but
allowing the dogs off leash discourages
aggressive behavior, Williams has been told.
Im not a dog-owner, but the dog-owners tell
me that dogs act very differently. If theres a
combination of dogs on leash and off-leash,
those that are on leash tend to get a little more
aggressive, because theyre confned.
In any case, the programs rules spell
out guidelines for dealing with aggressive
behavior, including: Payment of any vet bills
is mandatory and Dog that bite humans
may be banned from the cemetery grounds
for life.
Mediation is provided if dog-owners get
into a dispute they cannot resolve among
themselves. They can complain against the
dog owner and the committee will review
the matter, Williams said. Most of the time,
people act like adults.
Enforcing the rules is not really a problem
for one simple reason: Its a coveted prog-
rameverybody wants to get in, Williams
said. We have over 600 people on the
waiting list, so the dog-walkers know if they
break any rules, there are 600 people waiting
to take their spot. Its a great incentive. Some
people wait years to get in here, and they
dont want to get kicked out.
In his frst two-and-a-half years at
Congressional, hes only kicked one person
out of the K9 program, Williams said.
Dealing with dog issues does not take up
a disproportionate amount of his time, he
said. Congressional Program Director Lauren
Maloy administers the annual renewals,
which occur in January, a slow time for
programming.
Maloy and the K9 Committee, which
consists of a number of program members
and Williams, handle complaints. The head
of the K9 Committee has a seat on the
associations board of directors, Williams
added. The program brings in about 20
percent of our operating revenue, so we feel it
deserves some offcial recognition and a vote
We have over 600 people on the waiting list, so the dog-walkers know if they break
any rules, there are 600 people waiting to take their spot. Its a great incentive.
Some people wait years to get in here, and they dont want to get kicked out.Paul WIlliams
Visitors enjoy Congressional Cemetery.
from page 17
W
hile we may all want
to think that everyone
loves pets, there are those
among us who do not love
themor at least dont think
they belong anywhere near
human funeral homes and
cemeteries.
Because these people do
exist within your client base, you need to
keep in mind a few common issues that
may come up when the pet and human
death-care professions intersect. Knowing
what issues might arise, you can take steps
to avoid them.
At the cemetery
Pet walking/special pet events: Many
cemeteries want to attract pet parents by
sponsoring community outreach events that
bring pets onto their grounds, and some
allow dog-walkers. This can lead to issues
if your cemetery does not have rules and
regulations allowing pets onsite, or simply
is located in an area where people are not
used to the ideaor hostile to it.
If something like this has not been done
before in your area, or at your cemetery,
start slow. You might want to reach out to
local pet organizations and allow short,
controlled walks before hosting a huge or
widely-advertised pet event.
Also, check your rules and regulations
ahead of time to make sure they dont
contain restrictions that prohibit such
an event. You cant just dismiss such
restrictions as outdated; you have to follow
procedures to change thembefore the fact.
At the funeral home
Removal vehicles/staff: A funeral home
might have limited staff and equipment but
want to add services to the pet death-care
sector to provide new revenues.
This can lead to an issue with families
if they knowor believethat the vehicle
used to pick up mom from the nursing
home was the same vehicle used to pick up
deceased cats and dogs from the local vets
offce. The same thing can apply to staff,
if the same people are handling deceased
animals and deceased persons.
When entering the pet death-care market,
make sure the role of vehicles and staff are
clearly delineated and identifed. A vehicle
for pet removals should be clearly labeled.
Have different uniforms for staff members
handling pets, and require staff members
who do double duty in the funeral home to
change into the proper uniform for working
on that side of the business.
At the crematory
Having a common building: When a
crematory decides to add pet cremation to its
services, many times the plan is to simply add
another retort in the same building, assuming
space permits. This can lead to problems
not only with consumers but also with third
parties, such as funeral homes using your
crematory.
If humans and pets are going to be
cremated at one facility, make every effort
to partition these operations. What youre
addressing here is perception as much as
actual risk, but a perception that somethings
not right is a very real risk for your business,
one you should avoid if at all possible.
My advice in any and all cases where you
are introducing any sort of pet program into
your business operation is that you make
sure to clearly communicate to the public
what you are doing, and that you keep your
operations transparent.
Doing so will allow consumers to decide
whether they want to deal with you based on
full knowledge, and avoid them being able to
seek recourse later by saying, If I had known
that because you made sure they did
know. r
poul@lemastersconsulting.com
Principal of Lemasters Consulting,
Cincinnati, Ohio, and the
ICCFAs special cremation legal counsel
Lemasters
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on the board.
All in all, its an amazing program,
Williams said. Cemeteries need to build up
their revenue base, because eventually all
cemeteries run out of space. They need to
plan ahead.
If you think your community might
be receptive to a program like the one at
Congressional, Williams advises moving
slowly. Start small; let the dogs acclimate
and get to know each other. Gradually
increase the number of dogs allowed until
you feel youve reached the maximum, which
will depend on the size of your cemetery.
Also, Williams said, its important to let
your insurance company know if you have
an off-leash dog-walking program so that if
something does happen, youre adequately
covered. Were very honest with our
insurance company. r
PETS/COMMUNITY
OUTREACH: CONGRESSIONAL
Jane.Shaw@ColoState.edu
SERVI CE TO FAMI LI ES/ PROFESSI ONAL DEVELOPMENT
Y
ou take care of people when they
need you the most, when theyre
the most vulnerable, when theyre
maybe not in their best place. Theyre
grieving; theyve got a lot on their plates.
Communication is an important tool when
youre caring for people in that state of
despair. I am going to discuss a few skills
that might help you out.
Communication is a core relationship
skill in business and in life. Im going
to discuss four specifc skills in detail
techniques that work with your children,
with your book club, with your spouse,
with your friends. These are life skills, and
they are defnitely evidence-based business
skills, as well.
Emotion and decision-making
A relationship thats really core to all of
our work, both in veterinary medicine and
in pet death-care, is the human/animal
bond. You wouldnt be able to offer the
services you offer at the level you do if it
werent for the human-animal bond. That
relationship drives our businesses and is at
the core of what we do.
When the bond is broken, when theres
been loss, people are in a really tough
place handling it. Youll see a myriad of
emotions, from guilt to anger, to deep
despair, to sadness, to blaming, perhaps,
when things dont go right, to maybe even
just stoicism and calmness. Sometimes
people are trying to hold it together on the
outside and breaking apart on the inside
and not letting you see whats going on.
In other words, theres a wide range in
what you might expect from the people you
see in your business. This is why we need
communication skills, to be able to manage
some of these diffcult reactions.
I should remind you that anger and
frustration and blaming are normal
emotions of grief. You might see those
on the outside, but what do you think is
happening on the inside? People are really
sad, theyre breaking apart, and theyre
feeling vulnerable, but theyre showing you
this tough exterior shell on the outside.
Almost the most important lesson I
learned as a veterinarian is that anger is a
normal emotion of grief, so dont take it
personally. People are hurting on the inside
and youre seeing the brunt of it on the
outside.
Data from the veterinary feld indicate
that 30 percent of clients experience severe
symptoms of grief when losing a pet. You
are seeing these folks, and I suspect youre
seeing probably even a more skewed
population, because the folks coming to
you for your level of services are highly
attached to their pets, and one of the risk
factors for severe grief is a high level of
attachment. Someone coming to you for
your services is probably highly attached.
Societal attitudes make it harder for
people to grieve for their pets. Unfor-
tunately, we still have people say, Its just
a dog, its just a cat, why dont you just get
another one? There are all kinds of animals
that need a good home.
So, the support from the veterinary team
and from people like you, who take care of
them during this time, makes a difference.
If people receive compassionate care, it
reduces their level of grief. If they receive
care that seems careless or unconcerning,
its likely to enhance their grief response.
Your role in providing support at this
time and managing their level of grief is
important.
Euthanasia is another factor. Even
though most people feel euthanasia is a
humane choice, pet parents deal with guilt
after making the decision to end the life
of what they may view as their child. The
Four skills you can develop for
better relationships with clients
Shaw, pictured here with Cliff, is an as-
sociate professor in the Veterinary Com-
munication for Professional Excellence
program at Colorado State University in
Fort Collins, Colorado, and director of the
Argus Institute at Colorado State Univer-
sity.
She is a recognized expert in veterinari-
an-client-patient interactions. She received
the 2008 Leo K. Bustad Companion Ani mal
Veterinarian of the Year Award, recognizing
her contributions to enhancing the relation-
ship between people and their pets.
www.veterinary-communication@
colostate.edu
Founded in 1984, the Argus Institute
is a specialized service offering client
support within the CSU Veterinary Teach-
ing Hospital. Its passion is teaching best
practices in veterinary communication to
ensure that its graduates and practicing
veterinarians are confdent and skilled at
building partnerships.
Editors note: This article is excerpted
from an interactive presentation/workshop
by Dr. Shaw during the Pet Loss Profes-
sionals Alliance program at the ICCFAs
2014 Annual Convention. It includes audi-
ence suggestions elicited by Dr. Shaw.
by Jane Shaw, DVM, Ph.D.
ICCFA Magazine author spotlight
Being able to communicate well is a crucial and basic
business skill, particularly for professionals who deal with death
and grief. Its also something you can learn to do better,
beneftting your business, your clients and your life.
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emotions that result from that are very
complicated, and guilt can be one of the
things you see.
The reason Im talking about all these
emotions is that youre entering into a
conversation with someone whos feeling
guilty, feeling really, really sad, incredibly
vulnerable, lost. And youre asking them to
make decisions.
Its really hard to equip yourself to make
decisions when youre feeling all these
things. You can use communication as a
tool to help people make those decisions, to
help them cope, to help them feel validated,
to feel acknowledged for what theyre
going through.
The more emotional someone is, the
easier it is to set that conversation on
fre. You can say the wrong thing and
then wooshall of a sudden everything
escalates. Therefore, its really important
to be very intentional and purposeful
with how you use your skills in this
situation. Thats why we call it a crucial
conversation.
If you understand the physiological
reason behind this, it might help you to be
more patient with these emotions.
When we are in a highly emotional
state, we go to our fght or fight mode; our
blood goes to our brainstem. Our brainstem
is deep in the back of our head, in the back
of our skull. It goes down to our core,
essential functions for lifeheart, lungs,
circulation. When we get scared, our blood
fow goes to our brainstem, because it
makes evolutionary sense. Its what equips
us to survive.
The decision-making brain is in
the frontal cortex. When we are doing
mathematics, when were making big
decisions, when were trying to weigh two
options, it all happens in the frontal cortex.
So if your blood fow is down to the
brainstem, you need to use your communi-
cation skills to transfer blood fow from the
brainstem to the frontal cortex. Supporting
someone, acknowledging them, asking how
theyre doing, all of that actually transfers
the blood fow to the front of the brain
so they can use the power of that frontal
cortex to make decisions.
So sometimes taking a little time to
be with someone, to work with their
emotions, actually results in moving things
forward and getting decisions made faster.
Youre trying to help people make plans,
and to be able to do that, they need to get
out of an emotional state and into a more
rational one.
The four skills Im going to talk about
are non-verbals, open-ended questions,
refective listening and empathy. Theyre
four incredibly simple skills, incredibly
easy-to-use skills, but incredibly powerful.
Thats why I chose them, because theyre
easy yet incredibly powerful in terms of
getting results.
Non-verbals
Non-verbals are not threatening. Theyre
the frst thing people see about us, and
its not only what they see about us, but
also what they see about our facility
when they pull up to our building. What
are they seeing? That is all non-verbal
communication.
We arent always able to control it.
Have you ever suddenly started profusely
sweating when youre stressed out? That
is your involuntary non-verbals coming
out. Have you suddenly had your eyes well
up in the middle of a conversation? Thats
another involuntary, non-verbal response.
We cant always control them.
Non-verbals give you cues for where
the conversations going to start. How
are your clients presenting? Are they
presenting with crossed arms, or are they
coming in open and welcoming to this
conversation?
The frst thing you do when they open
that door is read their non-verbals to assess
where they are emotionally. Are they
stressed, sad, angry? What are they coming
in with?
Touch is a really important part of
our non-verbal repertoire. Its a way of
bonding fast and letting someone know
you understand, you feel their pain, what
theyre going through. But touch is not
always safe for everyone.
I love to ask permission: Would it be
OK if I offered you a hug? Would it be
OK if we sat down together? If youre not
sure, you can always ask, so that you dont
push the envelope with someone.
These are some non-verbals you can
look for when a client walks in your door:
Making eye contact.
Distance, physical rapport.
In addition to distance, look for what
we call the angle of facing, which is
whe ther you are facing dead-on or at an
angle. Facing dead-on with someone can
be confrontational, especially if youre
standing over them. If Im closing the dis-
tance between us it can be perceived very
differently if I just shift and move back a
little bit and angle my body to soften it a
bit.
The angle of facing and the distance
contribute to creating rapport, I feel
comfortable with you, versus Im going
to keep my distance because I dont feel so
comfortable right now.
Facial expressions. Smiling.
Body gestures, the positioning of
arms, shoulderswhether theyre facing
or not.
The other side of the coin is what your
non-verbals are saying to your clients.
Think also about how you set up your
meeting spaces, your consultation spaces.
Are you sitting behind a desk, or are the
two of you sitting in a chair next to each
other? What kind of barriers are there in
the way you set up your room that create
a space that says, I want to be apart from
you versus I want to be with you?
Mirroring is a non-verbal technique
people almost naturally use; they mirror
each other as theyre talking. Both people
cross their legs; they pick up their coffee
at the same time. We do this without really
being conscious of it, but you can do this
consciously with your clients to be able to
create that physical or non-verbal rapport.
Vocal qualitiesrhythm, pacing,
pitch, volume.
People can hear in your voice whether
youre compassionate or not; its going to
come through in your tone of voice. When
someone walks in the door, do they hear in
your voice, Oh, my gosh, Im really busy
right now and I dont have time for you?
Or, do they hear in your voice, Welcome.
Im going to sit with you. Im going to
give you the time you need.
The more emotional someone is, the easier it is to set that conversation on fre.
You can say the wrong thing and then wooshall of a sudden everything escalates. Therefore, its
really important to be very intentional and purposeful with how you use your skills in this situation.
S E R V I C E T O FA MI L I E S / PROFESSI ONAL DEVELOPMENT
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This can come across even when they
call you ahead of time and say, Im
coming in. How do I get to your place?
What does your voice sound like to
them? What notions are you giving them
before they even get to your place about
your business just through that phone
conversation?
What about the non-voluntary
component of non-verbalssweating,
racing heart, eyes tearing up? Our
involuntary or automatic responses refect
our emotions; our purposeful use of non-
verbals refects our thinking. Sometimes,
even though were working hard to
control our emotions, they will seep out
automatically.
Someone might be crustily saying
things that dont feel so good to hear, feel
sharp, but when you look at their non-
verbals, you see their eyes well up. Now
you know that theyre not really feeling
crusty; theyre feeling scared.
When words and non-verbals dont
match, look at the non-verbals. Non-
verbals tell you the truth. Everyone has
experienced this in social interactions.
This is what TSA, what border guards are
doinglooking at non-verbals, because
we cant control how they seep out of us.
We need to become aware of our own
non-verbals as well as those of the people
were working with. You might want to
set up a video camera in your offceget
permission, of course, from your clients;
tell them youre working on improving
your non-verbal communication. I think
the only way to really know what your
non-verbals are saying is either to have
a colleague watch you and give you
feedback or to watch yourself on video.
In American culture in general, we
often tend to be polite and considerate, and
not to necessarily come right out and say
what we need, except for maybe people on
the East Coast. Especially in the middle of
the country, we may not ask for what we
need, but might indicate it non-verbally.
We might say, Im hesitant about
this, or This is not the right ft for me.
We dont want to be rude and come out
and say, No, thats over the top. I dont
want that; I want this. Your job is to read
those non-verbal cues and say, It sounds
like that might not be a good ft for you,
or, It sounds like maybe you have some
concerns about that, so lets just stop and
you ask me some questions.
We feel uncomfortable with silence, but
in what we do, silence is important. Why?
You cannot listen if youre talking. Its not
about us, its about them, so give them the
space for it to be about them.
Also, silence gives people a chance to
absorb what you are saying. If your clients
are feeling guilty, angry, sad, vulnerable
and/or scared, how well do you think
theyre processing information? Very
slowly.
In addition, your clients probably
havent slept, either because something
happened the night before that kept them
up all night and resulted in them coming to
see you, or their animals been at the clinic
for several days in a row and they havent
slept, or theyve been caring for a pet at
home. Often your clients are not only
emotional, but also exhausted by the time
they come to see you.
Silence also gives you, as well as your
clients, time to think. It gives you time to
think and refect: Where am I going to go
next? What am I going to offer? What am I
sensing in how theyre responding to this?
Another thing to consider is that when
we interrupt people, 72 percent of them do
not complete their responses. When you
dont let people fnish what theyre saying,
you can miss an opportunity to serve them,
to fnd out what they need or want.
The information you get from people
drives your options and what you offer
them, so make sure you give people time
to really fnish what they want to say.
Some non-verbals that can signal
sadness: Tears, pursed lips or furrowed
brow; looking down, breaking eye contact
or hiding your face.
The right response is to let people
know that its normal; crying is what we
do when we lose a loved one. Our culture
tells us not to show it, which is not healthy.
Also, our society ranks grief: Why are
you crying over a dog? My moms in
the hospital. They feel helpless, out of
control, spinning. Theyre crying out of
the blue and they cant control it. And the
world is telling them its crazy to cry over
a dog.
In some cases, someone who has been
caregiving for months might feel guilty
because they actually feel relief, as well,
while also feeling, This was my baby and
I loved caring for him.
The thing about those darn pets is they
never grow up and leave the house. They
need to be fed, they need to be walked,
they need to be cared for, they need to be
given medications. We live with them 24/7
and they drive our schedule. When theyre
gone, we are lost and we dont know what
to do, because caring for them has been a
purposeful task in our life every day.
Acknowledge that their grief is normal.
You can use self-disclosure: You should
have seen me when I lost my dog. I
blubbered for months on end. This lets
people know that you get it, that what
theyre feeling is completely normal. What
are some other things you can say?
Its normal to cry. Ive cried over all
my animals.
I can see how diffcult this is for you.
I want you to know that Im here to help
you. I didnt include it as one of the four
core skills, but expressions of partnership
can be really powerful. When you feel out
of control and helpless, to have someone
say, I am here to help you is really
comforting.
Let me know what I can do for you.
Take your time. You might not even
have to say the words; just sit there with
them. Be quiet and give them some space.
Tell me about your peta beautiful
opening. Ideally, you would know the pets
name, so you can personalize it: Tell me
about Cliff.
If youre not sure when the person
comes in the door if theyre visiting you
pre- or post-death, you can say, Tell me
whats going on.
Im so sorry.
How are you doing? Thats
something we say all the time, but you
just need to ask with the right tone and
followed by the right silence.
If I ask you, How are you doing? in a
Silence also gives you, as well as your clients, time to think.
It gives you time to think and refect: Where am I going to go next? What am I going to offer?
What am I sensing in how theyre responding to this?
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brisk way, what am I saying? That I dont
really care, that Im in a hurry and want
you to answer quickly. Whereas if I say
How are you doing in a gentle way, Im
communicating that I really want to know.
Some people might respond to How
are you doing? with How do you think
Im doing? I feel like crap right now. A
safer question might be, Tell me whats
going on. It depends on how you read the
situation, the person.
You need to decide what to say based
on your own personal style. If one of my
examples is something you would never
say, look for something else thats a better
ft. Its important to be yourself, to be
genuine and authentic. If you do something
thats not a good ft for you, its going to
come off as phony.
Non-verbals constitute 80 to 90 percent
of our communicationthats why I always
start with this skill.
We say a lot about ourselves without
saying anything at all. We say a lot about
our businesses by how they look. Non-
verbal communication is a foundational
skill that can make or break us.
Open-ended questions
We use open-ended questions as a way to
try to get people to open up, to connect
heart and head. In order to better serve
people, you need to listen underneath their
story. An open-ended question allows them
to paint a picture for you, and you can then
see how to align your services with that
picture.
In addition, storytelling is therapeutic.
The process of inviting someone to tell
their story is part of the core purpose of
your business, which is to serve grieving
people and help them through the grieving
process.
Sometimes simply by hearing
themselves talk, people become attuned
to how theyre feeling and what theyre
going through. Im one of those talk-out-
loud-to-problem-solve people. We hear
ourselves and realize whats going on,
whats important to us or what we need.
It can help people move forward in their
decision-making process.
Asking your clients open-ended
questions is a way to make them feel
respected and understood, to let them
know you want to hear their story and that
you care.
By asking questions, we are helping
them shed light on things. I suspect theres
a subset of your clients who dont even
know that its okay to do some of the
things you can do for a pet, and as they tell
their story, you can let them know about
the ways they can memorialize their pets.
Youre looking for meaning in their story,
not just facts. What did this pet mean to
them?
What are the words you can use to start
an open-ended question, to invite people to
tell that story?
Tell me about Anytime youre
not sure what to say, you can use this as
your default place to go.
Tell me more or Then what
happened? These are phrases that
basically encourage the person to keep
going, to keep telling the story. Also,
What else? or Who else?
You also can use what are called
minimal encouragers, such as oh,
really, hmmm, no way, or wow.
These little words convey that youre
following what theyre saying, but want
them to keep going. Use them sparingly so
that you arent interrupting people.
The beginning of the story is a rich
place to start: How did he come into your
life? Who picked him out? How did
he get his name?
What role did (the pet) play in your
family? What were his favorite things to
do?
You can develop a huge repertoire of
questions that will invite people to tell you
the story about the animal themselves. In
order to get emotion, not just facts, you
can ask, How did it feel when ?
One of the things you want to do with
reading non-verbals is fgure out if youve
got a feeler or a thinker in front of
you. If someone is very stoic and says,
Dont give me that touchy-feely thing,
you can be more businesslike to match
their tone.
Part of your job is to ask yourself
whether youve got a thinker whos
holding it all together or a feeler who
needs to let it out. Or maybe someone in
the middle.
Invite them to paint a picture for you:
Paint me a picture of the day you brought
him home, or Paint me a picture of how
you picked him out. Paint me a picture
of what you think would be suitable to
honor him.
Ask them to describe something for
you: Describe for me the events of the
past three days. Describe for me what
its been like for you while he was in the
hospital. Describe for me what you think
his service might look like. Basically,
youre asking them to say, I see this
happening, and I see this person being
Dr. Jane Shaw talks about how to move from broad, open-ended questions to more
focused questions designed to fnd out what clients need and want.
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there, and I see us being in this setting.
Explain to me is another great
opener: Explain to me what happened.
Explain to me what your family will
need. Explain to me what role you want
to play in the service.
These are all different ways to ask
people to create a picture for you.
This technique also can be used to
get down to business. We draw out these
stories, and then we often need some
specifcs, because at some point youre
going to try to move the conversation to
making decisions.
Think about using your questioning
technique as a funnel, starting with a wide
net when youre just meeting someone for
the frst time. Invite them to share with you,
to tell you what they need, to tell you what
this animal meant to them.
Then move down the funnel to more
narrow, closed questions, such as What
kind of fowers would you like? Im
wondering if you thought about a reading
or a poem? Im wondering if you might
want to walk with me to look at our choices
for urns.
Youre going to be getting more specifc
as you go along. By casting that wide net
at the beginning, youre going to gather
the data thats going to help you choose
what kinds of things youre going to talk
to clients about when you get down to
specifcs.
Youre gathering information so you
can match your services to what they
need: The dog park was a special place;
you spent a lot of time there. Maybe
thats where we need to have the service.
Youre trying to customize and tailor your
offerings to the client and pet.
In other words, the purpose of open-
ended questions is to listen for key
information, to pick up on the things that
are really important, and then to tailor your
recommendations to that.
Again, you can ask permission as a
way of making recommendations. Given
what youve shared with me, here are some
things you could do. Tell me, do they ft
or not? How would that work? You offer
something, get feedback, offer another
idea, get feedback and so forth.
As youre doing this, you continue to
read the non-verbals. If you say, Lets
spread the ashes down a county road and
the client shifts her body back away from
you or drops her head, you know that idea
was not right, so you ask another open-
ended question about what would work for
her.
People might have a lot of basic
questions. One way to judge what they
know is to say, Tell me what you know
about cremation. Or, you can say, What
would you like to know about how were
going to go about doing this?
Some clients have the attitude, I dont
want to know anything about this. I want
you to just do it, and I dont want to think
about it. Others want to be there and
see their animal go into the retort and be
there when the remains come out. Youre
walking a fne line to determine which sort
of client you have.
Often the initial contact is a phone
call with someone asking, How much is
cremation? One way to respond, instead
of answering, Its $100 for 100 pounds,
is, Well, tell me whats going on, or Tell
me what you need.
What is your experience with loss?
Not pet loss specifcally, but any loss,
because I think it impacts their perception
of what happens to pets. A nice follow-up
question is, What helped you get through
that? What worked with that? Or the
opposite, What did you not like about
that?
What concerns do you have?
Unfortunately, questions that people might
have include, Is this going to be done
ethically? How am I going to know its
my dogs ashes? How am I going to know
you didnt put my pet in a landfll?
When you look back, what would
you like this to look like? When
you refect back, what would be most
meaningful for you?
Asking open-ended questions also
can help you understand why a particular
individuals grief is so intense. Maybe that
cat belonged to a family member who died,
and therefore was a living connection to
that person. Maybe thats why the client
is calling you every hour to fnd out if the
cremation has taken place yet.
Knowing this, you have a perfect lead-in
to refective listening: No wonder this is
so hard for you. He represents a connection
to your mother/son/sister. Help your client
make that connection and validate that their
grief is normal.
Refective listening
Refective listening is telling your clients,
This is what Im hearing. You invite
these beautiful stories, and then you stop
and refect back: This is what Im hearing
from you. He was well-loved. You did
everything you could. Oh, my gosh, he
brought so much joy into your life. Youre
saying, I am hearing you. I am listening.
I often think of the grief layer cake,
where one grief lies on top of another. So
often we revisit all of our past griefs every
time we go through a loss. You can help
clients realize they are not only grieving for
that cat, Cliff, but also for everything Cliff
was in their life, for and all the journeys and
changes that took place during that time.
Its a one-two punch. You invite the
story via open-ended questions, and then
you come back with refective listening,
with I heard you. Its not good enough
just to invite the story. Youve got to let
them know that youve heard the story.
Refective listening is an important skill
for a lot of reasons. Echoing back what
you hear is a hugely validating process.
It also provides a chance for clearing
up any misunderstandings, or clarifying
things. Maybe they misspoke; maybe you
misheard, but now you can clarify things.
Its also an invitation to further
information. You told me you wanted a
simple ceremony. What would simple
look like to you?
Refective listening also is part of the
clients problem-solving, decision-making
process. When theyre feeling lost in their
grief and confused and overwhelmed and
you say, I heard this was important to
you. I heard this was a special place for
you. I heard this was his favorite toy,
it helps them to think, Oh, yeah, I would
really love to be able to do this.
How can you word refective listening
statements?
Often the initial contact is a phone call with someone asking, How much is cremation?
One way to respond, instead of answering, Its $100 for 100 pounds,
is, Well, tell me whats going on, or Tell me what you need.
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What I heard ...
If I understand correctly
Clarify this for me.
What does X look like?
You mentioned
Tell me what you mean by
It looks like or It sounds like
Your default for open-ended questions is
Tell me and your default for refective
listening can be It sounds like or It
seems like ... The more accurate you are in
what you refect back, the more detail you
put into your refective listening, the more
your clients feel heard. It sounds like Cliff
was your shadow every day, went with you
everywhere.
Refective listening can have multiple
levels. The simplest level involves just
repeating back or echoing what someone
has said: So you were up all night. Or
So, you were up all night; you must be
exhausted.
The next level involves listening a bit
deeper: It sounds like you had a really
tough night last night. Would you like to
share what happened? You invite them
to share. What happened last night? or
How was that? or What did you do?
That must have been really scary.
The third level, what we call a
hypothesis test, involves listening not just
for words but for the meaning underneath.
Maybe youre hearing some guilt, the
person is saying, If only I had taken him
to the vet sooner. I call them the would-
haves, should-haves, could-haves. You can
ask, Im wondering if youre thinking it
may have been your fault?
Always word the hypothesis test in an
asking permission way, because you might
be wrong. Im wondering if Could it
be Would it ft Im hearing that
That way they know youll be OK with
them correcting you.
Or, you could ask, Would you help me
understand whats going on here?
Dont let this get overwhelming for
you. Even the simplest form of refective
listening is very powerful, so if you want to
just echo what your client is saying, thats
fne; it helps people feel listened to.
Refective listening gives you the
opportunity to create a relationship, to
make your client feel heard and validated.
It can provide clarifcation, confrmation
and correctiona check on the accuracy
of what youre hearing so you can make
sure you and the client are on the same
page. This can prevent mistakes that take
time to correct and that can damage the
relationship youre trying to build.
Empathy
All of the skills Im listing are important,
but in todays world and considering what
your clients are going through, empathy is
the most important.
Empathy is about making a connection.
Your business is reliant on referrals, and
you wont get them unless clients feel they
were cared for and had a connection with
you. You want people to tell others that you
were caring, you listened to them and you
were compassionate.
Empathy also is at the core of what you
do because it creates kinship. It establishes
that you like each other and that you are
not going to judge them, you are going to
be a safe and supportive place for them.
Ive mentioned the judgment people can
get from the outside world: Youre crazy.
What, are you going to have a funeral for
your pet? Have you lost it, gone off the
deep end?
We need to give people the message that
its OK.
The frst step is to validate their feelings
so they know theyre normal. That creates
a connection, so you can move forward.
Its a therapeutic step, helping them process
their emotions. Empathy also helps people
feel safe so their frontal cortex can take
over from the brainstem, so they can make
decisions.
Some people think empathy is niceness,
but its not. Its a therapeutic skill that
goes beyond just being nice. It will allow
you to get to decision-making faster by
acknowledging feelings.
Empathy is lot like non-verbals. You
notice and react to non-verbal cues to
identify how your clients are feeling. Thats
the inhale. Then you exhale what youre
seeing. In my world of veterinary medicine,
often veterinarians do the inhale and
completely forget the exhale.
All human beings are pretty good about
the inhale; were astute at picking up on
these things. Then, the brave thing to say
is, for example, Im sensing that youre
feeling guilty. Or, I sense that youre
really angry about how this was handled.
Or, Im sensing that this has been really
diffcult for you.
Some words we can use to start off
empathy statements:
Sounds like or It sounds like
youre feeling
It feels like or It feels to me
It seems as though
I imagine that
I understand is a tricky one. If you
say, I understand, the person youre
dealing with might say, No, you have no
idea. Now the tone of the conversation has
changed to Dont you make assumptions
about me. So, I imagine that ... or I
cant imagine ... are better.
If youre going to use I understand,
make sure to include the second half of the
statement, as in, I understand from what
youve said that this is more than just a loss
of this cat.
It must have been , such as in It
must have been really scary (or whatever is
the appropriate word).
I am sensing that
Look over this list and choose what
feels authentic and genuine to you.
Just as there are levels of refective
listening, there are levels of empathy. Level
one is non-judgment, as in saying, Its
normal to feel this way. I felt this way.
Another level is self-disclosure, when
appropriate. Telling a story of your own is
a really powerful way to empathize. Self-
disclosure is a way of saying, Im like
you. You do need to be careful, because
you dont want to make this about you.
Make it short and to the point: When I
faced this, I chose to do this. This was
really hard for me. I cried for days. Thats
it; now get back to them.
Think about how you can respond with
empathy to some of the statements you
commonly hear your clients make.
The key for getting good at these four
core skills, like anything we do, is practice,
practice, practice. In sports, you keep doing
things over and over and over again. You
get coaching, you get videotaped, you get
feedback. The same techniques work for
communication. r
Some people think empathy is niceness, but its not. Its a therapeutic skill that goes beyond
just being nice. It will allow you to get to decision-making faster by acknowledging feelings.
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toddvanbeck@sbcglobal.net
Van Beck is one of the
most sought-after speakers
and educators in funeral
service.
www.toddvanbeck.com
He is the general manager of Forest
Hills Funeral Home and Memorial Park,
Memphis, Tennessee. He is also director
of education for StoneMor Partners.
www.foresthillfh.com
He is dean of ICCFA Universitys
College of Funeral Home Management
and is on the faculty of ICCFAUs College
of Embalming and Restorative Arts.
Van Beck received the ICCFA Edu-
cational Foundations frst ever Lasting
Impact Award this year.
PROFESSI ONAL DEVELOPMENT
The art of diplomacy is as important at the funeral home
or cemetery as it is at the State Department.
ICCFA Magazine
author spotlight
Like Todd Van Beck
on Facebook today!
f
I
once worked with a woman who lived
by the creed that if there was not a crisis
going on nonstop, every day, all the time,
she would create one.
This woman lived in a constant state of
agitation that spilled over into every type of
relationship she had, tried to have or, as most
often was the case, used to have. In short
order, people just got tired of her dramatic
shenanigans. Her personal life was in a daily
shambles, and in time the effects of her
approach to life popped up at work to the
extent that people just started to roll their eyes
at each other when she entered the room.
No matter what was happening, by the
time this woman interjected her opinion, it
had become a catastrophe. We then had to
politely sit and listen to her self-righteous
opinions about how we ought to solve the
issue at hand, and trust me, she had a frm
opinion on literally everything under heaven.
The running joke around the company
was that if this woman were ever to go to
work for the State Department as a diplomat
or ambassador, we would be at war with the
world in no time. In any case, she did not last
long in her job at the funeral home. The fact
is, our careers in funeral and cemetery service
call out for everyday diplomacy.
During the administration of Canadian
Prime Minister Sir Robert Laird Borden, a
diplomatic crisis arose which had the entire
Parliament on edge. The prime minister,
however, refused to be disturbed by what was
happening. During the so-called crisis, he said
to advisors, You gentlemen are taking this
thing too seriously. Ill wager a good clerk
from any department store in town could
settle this thing amicably in 20 minutes.
What we need in this case is an every-
day diplomat instead of high-fown, egotis-
tical, beating-around-the bush diplomacy. Ill
tell you gentleman, there is more common
sense, practical diplomacy practiced in day-
to-day, common sense business than in all
the ambassadorial circles in the world put
together.
While Borden said this many years ago,
it is as true today as it was the day he said
it. And it was in reality a great compliment
to people like you and me who toil in the
everyday vineyard of giving service to others.
It is the practice of everyday diplomacy that
makes the wheels of funeral and cemetery
service go around with a minimum of
friction.
Compare this idea to the lifestyle of my
agitated colleague who thrived on friction,
and in the end paid a high price for ignoring
this simple life lesson: Friction does not work
in building human relationshipsnever has,
never will.
Those who become profcient in the
practical art of diplomacy are worth a great
deal. Such people have more friends, and
reap richer rewards than those who cannot
handle even the smallest of diffcult situations
and feel the need to blow a molehill of an
issue into a mountainous crisis, and who use
the take-no-prisoners attitude in dealing with
the rough waters that are just part of life.
St. Francis de Sales once said: There is
nothing as strong as gentleness, and there is
nothing as gentle as real strength. Food for
thought, to be sure.
A cemetery friend of mine who is
regarded throughout the profession as an
outstanding professional operates under
the philosophy of daily diplomacy. Behind
his success with people are his policies for
handling clients.
One diplomatic standard he has lived by
is the wisdom of silencesimply knowing
when to shut up. I asked him one day how he
knew just when to stop talking and he said,
When my brain says, John, shut up, I shut
up. I never, ever regretted listening to my
brain.
President Calvin Coolidge, who knew
a thing or two about being silent, said to an
aspiring politician, Son, you will never be
asked to repeat something you havent said.
Now, there is wisdom in everyday diplomacy.
When my cemetery friend addresses a
by ICCFA Magazine columnist
Todd Van Beck, CFuE
Wanted for funeral home,
cemetery work: Diplomats
complaint from a family, he graciously con-
cedes that the family is right and must receive
satisfaction. This policy of diplomacy has no
doubt cost my friend money at times, but has
also earned his cemetery company millions.
Why does there seem to be increased
friction between our companies and our
clients? I think its because of the deep
cynicism that seems to have permeated so
much of our culture. Clients are thinking,
We are spending hard-earned money, and we
insist on full value and consideration!
In nearly every case of customer friction,
something pretty close to pocketbook
logic is behind it. Authentic, sympathetic
consideration of the familys point of view is
the frst step in successful, diplomatic dealing
with that family.
At times, something besides pocketbook
logic is behind a familys complaint. In
Dayton, Ohio, several years ago, a funeral
home served a family who insisted that
the fowers be ordered through a forist
the funeral director knew had a terrible
reputation. The funeral director tried to gently
persuade the family to use a highly reputable
forist, but they would hear none of it.
You guessed it. When the fowers arrived,
the funeral director knew he had been right.
The fowers were dead. He immediately
called the reputable forist and had an
identical spray with fresh fowers delivered.
When the family arrived, the funeral
director explained what had happened and let
the family see the original dead fower casket
spray. He could see the family was both angry
with the original forist and embarrassed that
they had not listened to his advice in the frst
place, so he gave them a diplomatic break
by simply saying, I knew you would be
dissatisfed once you saw the original spray.
The new one is beautiful, and it cost $20 less.
Lets go look at it.
This funeral director never mentioned or
even called the forist who had botched up the
frst sprayhe didnt have to. The family
conveyed their displeasure eloquently, and
raved about the new spray. The funeral dir-
ector had made his point very diplomatically
without damaging the familys dignity or
adding anything to what the forist had
already done to its botched-up reputation.
The good feelings that a generous, diplo-
matic attitude generates often result in a
de sire on the part of a customer to give
you more business. Such is the power of
diplomacy.
Remember the fussy woman I talked
about at the beginning of this article? Here is
another case study, courtesy of her, on how
not to handle an issue diplomatically.
One day we had a tremendously large
funeral. Every parking spot on the property
was taken, and some cars had to be
temporarily parked behind others, blocking
them in. Now, the operative word in this
article is temporarily.
Our dramatic friend decided she needed
a break, and found that her car was one of
those blocked in. She had a meltdown, came
storming into the funeral home, exaggerating
her urgent need to move her car. She sat at her
desk pouting and talking nonstop about the
kind of people we had attending our funerals.
She huffed and puffed, stomped and
stammered, sighed and pounded her desk.
When the boss, who had heard the entire
diatribe, walked in, he fred her. From then
on, she had no problems with the funeral
home parking lot.
Compare this to a large funeral home
in New York City that handles more than
3,000 funerals a year and has absolutely no
parking, except curbside (maybe 15 spaces).
No parking lot! What it does have is a stellar
valet who has been given the title of The
Squawk Suppressor. When people pull up
in front of this New York City funeral home,
the squawk suppressor is right there to greet
them. May I help you?
Whats with this place? Theres nowhere
to park, is the usual comment.
Youre right, says the squawk
suppressor, but dont worry about it; Ill take
care of it. With that, the valet opens the car
door, takes over and whisks the car around
the corner. He does this all day long, keeping
people happy with his expert diplomacy. He
always sides with the customer. He actually
likes customers.
Over the years, this true professional
has made thousands of friends. Most New
Yorkers going to the funeral home knew there
wouldnt be any parking, but it didnt matter.
The diplomatic valet will ensure complete
satisfaction. In fact, the funeral companys
manager attributes the frms continually high
volume in part to the professional diplomacy
of his valet. The owner also has the valet
instruct in the art of diplomacy to the rest of
the funeral homes staff. r
P R OF E S S I ONA L DE V E L OP ME NT
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In nearly every case of customer friction, something pretty close to pocketbook logic
is behind it. Authentic, sympathetic consideration of the familys point of view
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page 34
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I C C FA NE WS
We, as a profession, and pet
parents across the country,
owe them sincere gratitude
for their dedication in helping
to bring dignity to the death of
our beloved pets. The entire
ICCFA organization offers them
heartfelt congratulations.
ICCFA President
Fred Lappin, CCE
T
he ICCFA and the Pet Loss
Professionals Alliance will present
the frst-ever Pet Loss Pioneer
Awards to Coleen Ellis, CPLP, and Bill
Remkus, CPLP, at a ceremony during the
ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo, April
8-11, 2015, in San Antonio, Texas.
The awards presentation will take place
during the PLPA Reception on Wednesday,
April 8, from 2 to 3 p.m. at the Henry B.
Gonzalez Convention Center.
The purpose of the awards is to
recognize the achievements of those
paving the way in the relatively new pet
loss profession.
ICCFA President Fred Lappin, CCE,
said that Ellis and Remkus are the natural
choices to receive the inaugural awards.
Coleen and Bill created the PLPA and
they are the experts in the feld of pet loss.
They literally blazed a trail to develop
standards, best practices and guidelines in
the pet loss profession, where there was no
oversight previously, Lappin said.
Coleen Ellis, CPLP, is founder and
president of Two Hearts Pet Loss Center in
Greenwood, Indiana, and is co-chair of the
Pet Loss Professionals Alliance. In 2007,
she founded Pet Angel Memorial Center,
the frst stand-alone pet funeral home
in the U.S. Prior to founding Pet Angel,
Ellis spent nearly her entire professional
career in the human death-care industry,
specializing in preneed sales.

Her experience includes serving as
vice president of sales and marketing for
Newcomer Funeral Service Group and
as national sales manager of Cornerstone
Preneed. She also spent 11 years at
Forethought Financial Services Inc.,
wrapping up her career there as a national
account executive where she was widely
recognized as one of the top preneed sales
professionals in the nation, complete with
receiving the companys top Presidents
Club Award.
Bill Remkus is the
owner of Hinsdale
Animal Cemetery
& Crematory in
Willowbrook,
Illinois, and is co-
chair of the PLPA.
He was instrumental
in the creation of
Illinois Companion
Animal Cremation
Act. He is third-
generation owner of
the cemetery, with
experience in the business since 1971. He
has always been a passionate advocate
of ethical after-death care for pets,
continuously striving to raise the level of
integrity in the industry.
Remkus was a volunteer freman for
more than 20 years in the Clarendon
Heights Fire Protection District, reaching
the rank of assistant chief. He has served
on the Willowbrook parks and recreation
board and the planning commission for
more than 10 years. He also volunteers a
lot in the community. q
T
he PLPA recently released the
fndings of its 2013 Pet Loss
Profession Survey. This is the
second annual survey of the pet loss
profession and an annual measure of the
breadth of the profession.
The survey was completed by 69
pet loss service providers in 23 states,
the District of Columbia and two other
countries. Of the respondents:
55 percent operate a funeral home/
memorial center
23 percent operate a cemetery
35 percent operate an on-site
crematory
3 percent offer hospice services
47 percent operate more than one
of the above types of business
Based on membership in all pet loss
professional organizations, the PLPA
approximates that there are around 600
pet loss professionals in the United States.
From this assumption and survey results,
the PLPA estimates that the U.S. fgures
for 2013 are:
1,467,024 pets/clients
14,774 pets were buried (1 percent)
1,463,456 pets were cremated (99
percent)
103,412 (7 percent) were
partitioned cremations
915,608 (63 percent) were group
cremations
444,432 (30 percent) were private
cremations
The survey results also contain
statistics for each of the 23 states, the
District of Columbia and two other
countries. Other information in the report
includes annual revenue, size of staff and
how many respondents operate solely pet
or pet and human businesses.
The information in the report gives us
a great opportunity to stand back and take a
look at the size our profession, said PLPA
Co-Chair Bill Remkus, CPLP, owner of
Hinsdale Animal Cemetery & Crematory
in Willowbrook, Illinois. The detailed
local statistics are invaluable in providing
us a snapshot of our market share and
opportunities for growth, Remkus said.
Complete survey results are available
to PLPA and ICCFA members only at
www.myplpa.com. q
Ellis, Remkus to receive inaugural Pet Loss Pioneer Awards
2013 PLPA Pet Loss Profession Survey results published
Remkus
Ellis
I C C FA NE WS
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Friedman: Talk to the Telephone Doctor!
Iannarino: Level 4 service to increase profts
WIDE WORLD OF SALES January14-16,2015lasvegas,nevada
Homesteaders Life Co.
Service Corporation
International
Forethought
Life Insurance Co.
NorthStar Memorial
Group, LLC
Matthews International
Corp.
Live Oak Bank
StoneMor Partners LP
Carrier Mausoleums
Construction Inc.
Forest Lawn Memorial
Parks & Mortuary
Funeral Directors
Life Insurance Co.
Guerra & Gutierrez Mortuary
The Signature Group
Trigard
Wilbert
Coldspring
FSI Trust Solutions
Johnson Consulting Group
TesTeachers LLC
Biondan North America Inc.
Nomis Publications Inc.
W
hat better way to spend your Friday morning on January 16, 2015, kicking
off the new year by learning about Sales Communications
A to Z from our energetic and highly engaging keynote
speaker, Nancy Friedman.
Friedman, also known as The Telephone Doctor, is
recognized by national media as an expert on customer
service and sales techniques. Shell share with you not just
phone tips but also common sense
techniques for communicating
by email, voicemail, fax and text,
face-to-face and on the Web. But,
as we know in business, common
sense is not necessarily common.
Come soak up all the nuggets of
wisdom shes gained over the decades
by running her own business as well as
helping small businesses and Fortune 500
companies put the customer frst.
Equip yourself with tools to convert more
inbound leads into sales and deliver a better
customer experience. Friedman will provide you
with real-world takeaways you can implement
right away to increase customer service and
sales. Using her techniques, earn back the cost of the
conference registration fee in no time. q
A
nthony Iannarino is an expert in all aspects of the
sales industry. On Thursday morning, Iannarino
will deliver a program to help you increase your
profts through value-driven conversations. Leveraging
value will improve your performance across all
opportunities, with new tools and strategies that
will provide confdence and verbiage to elevate
the value you provide. Creating greater
value translates into increased revenue and
proftability.
Thursday afternoon, Iannarino will teach you
to take what you have learned the frst day and
apply it in role-playing scenarios to aid you in
creating solutions to specifc challenges. This
will provide actionable changes that can be
implemented in your workplace immediately. q
I C C FA NE WS
$250 @ the Tech Panel iPad air 2 Cash prizes of $100 and more!
H
ave you registered for the Wide
World of Sales Conference yet?
You wont want to miss out on
the worlds largest sales and marketing
conference for end-of-life professionals.
Register and attend some amazing courses
designed to expand your knowledge of
sales topics and techniques.
On Thursday afternoon join Poul
Lemasters for Cremation Paperwork
& Forms as Sales Tools. No, Really!
Your forms and contracts are the only
thing most families will keep after the
arrangement, but are they working for
you? There is an art to how forms are structured,
a science to the numbers and, of course, there
are legal requirements as well. Start to better
understand legal requirements for your forms and
learn how to use forms to market your business.
This informal lecture will allow audience
participation, including sample scenarios and a
Q&A portion.
Breathe new life into the way you serve your
clients after the funeral is over with Denise Hall
Brown Rollins during Revive Your Aftercare
Program on Thursday afternoon. Rollins will
highlight strategies for injecting comfort, peace
and restoration into aftercare programs, allowing
you to walk away with effective tools for helping
clients regain control and reclaim their lives via
relationships, resources and release.
Learn how to effectively market your frm
via Facebook and email with Greg Young
during Facebook + Email: The Dynamic Duo
of Digital Marketing. Facebook and email are
critical to winning market share in todays digital
environment. When used together, their power is
magnifed. Young will use real-world examples
that will enable you to learn a detailed game plan
for marketing on Facebook and through email, including:
grow, engage and target your community; deploy and distribute
effective email marketing; develop practices for increasing
your email open rate and reducing unsubscribes; maximize
the results from your sales message without turning people
off. Dramatically expand your customer base by using the
techniques Young will teach you.
Seminars are a very popular marketing activity and a great
way to generate qualifed leads, increase your brand recognition
and educate consumers about funeral services. But by moving
your seminars online, you can increase the number of leads
generated and educate consumers about your services, while
decreasing the expense associated with live seminars. Hear
how you may convert your
current seminar into a
webinar, how to coordinate
registration, the software
options and best practices
to make your webinars
more successful on
Friday morning with Mike
Regina during Moving
your Seminars Online
to Increase Consumer
Education and Generate
More Leads.
Sit back and get ready
to be engaged and entertained while you learn
the right way and the wrong way to provide great
service during Serve More, Sell More. You will
receive reinforcement on the things that you do
well and will walk away with ideas to implement
immediately. Dan Lodermeier and West Foulger,
who have cemetery, funeral and supplier
experience, will focus on how to handle diffcult
clients, phone inquiries, outreach, aftercare,
family follow-up, the little things that make a
big impression, surveys and unbiased feedback,
generational differences and expectations and how to conduct
yourself as if everyone is your customer.
As an attendee who has been coming to this
event from the beginningI always come away
with something of value.
Paul White, FSI Trust Services,
Sarasota, Florida
Included with registration, youll receive:
the famous Wide World of Sales binder that is chock-full of
speaker presentations, handouts and tips, so you can have a
quick reference for years to come
Fireside Chat with sales legend Gary OSullivan, CCFE
Welcome Reception on Wednesday evening
networking lunch on Thursday
breakfast/coffee and refreshment breaks on Thursday and
Friday
a chance to win cash and prizes
Remember, the more people your company sends, the
more you save. You do NOT need to be an ICCFA member to
attend, but do need to be a member to save more on individual
registration. Register by December 8 to receive the early bird
discount and be sure to reserve your hotel room soon to
secure the room rate of just $89 per night.
Visit www.iccfa.com/wws for the most complete and up-to-
date information. q
Still time to register: Enter the ring, master the art of sales
Lemasters
Rollins
Young
Regina
Lodermeier
Foulger
BuT WaIT! THere s MOreWIn CasH and PrIZes!
I C C FA NE WS
F
uneral home music licenses are now available for 2015. The ICCFA is offering 2015 music licensing with ASCAP, BMI and
SESAC for only $262 per property, with no additional fees or membership requirements. For any company that broadcasts
funeral services via the Internet, youll need to add a $48 webcasting license to be in full compliance with all copyright laws.
Any United States funeral home, cemetery, crematory or related business is eligible to join ICCFA as a music license member.
Please note that this $262 price will increase to $275 after January 31, 2015. Order your license now and bring your funeral home
into full compliance for 2015.
The music license rate is a direct pass-through of the combined annual fees from ASCAP, BMI and SESAC. Licensing directly
with the agencies this year would cost more than $600 per location.
Music licensing is the law, and failure to obtain a license where one is required can be costly: Copyright law provides for
damages similar to fnes of up to $30,000 for each song that is infringed. If your company, regardless of size, hosts performances of
copyrighted musicwhether the music is performed live or played from recordingsmusic copyright owners say that you are legally
required to pay an annual licensing fee.
The webcasting license is a certifcate that you may purchase in addition to a music license. You must have a music license before
you purchase a webcasting license. This is also through ASCAP, BMI and SESAC, and allows for the broadcasting of services via the
Internet throughout the world.
For more information or to purchase your music and webcasting license, visit www.iccfa.com/music or call 1.800.645.7700. q
I
ndividuals from all walks of life have come to learn how to
provide meaningful, personalized funerals specifcally for
families, regardless of their religious affliation or lack of
affliation.
The ICCFA has partnered with the In-Sight Institute to bring
you a two-day intense training course which is changing the face
of funeral service.
Doug Manning, Glenda Stansbury and the In-
Sight Institute pioneered the very defnition of what a
celebrant is and could be.
The training for celebrants as established by
the In-Sight Institute seeks to provide the most
comprehensive and sensitive training available for
people who wish to develop this as a profession or to
add to their current job description. It is important
that families know they are being served by someone
who understands the process and is prepared to offer
the very best funeral possible.
By using a celebrant who has been certifed by
In-Sight Books, you are assured that this person
has been trained in the following areas: value of the
funeral, family visits, listening skills, presentation
skills, elements of funeral planning and code of ethics.
The ICCFA offers celebrant training in alignment with our
mission to helps its members continue to be viable and thrive
in todays marketplace as well as tomorrows. Fewer people are
choosing to be attached to organized religions, and not as many
people wish to have clergy-led funeral services. This offers an
alternative option to offer your customers. Its been found that
Certifed Celebrant-led services lead to increased customer
satisfaction, with families fnding them considerably more
personal than other funerals they have attended.
You might be wondering what a Certifed Celebrant has to
offer a funeral home, and we have the answer for you. Celebrants
offer an alternative to services provided by clergypersons for
families who are not affliated with a church or who do not wish
to have a traditional religious funeral service. They are trained
to design services that are completely personal, incorporating
the unique stories, songs and experiences that defned the
deceased. Celebrants schedule a special family time meeting
when the family can share memories, anecdotes and defning
moments in the loved ones life. They then base the essence of
the service on the remembrances of the family, and family and
friends will be encouraged to participate. Celebrants develop a
library of resources available for readings, music, ceremonies
and personal touches. They consult with the family to help them
choose elements of the service that refect their loved one. They
are bound by a code of ethics for complete confdentiality in all
dealings with the family.
Celebrant Training will be held just before to the Wide
World of Sales Conference at the Ballys/Paris Resorts &
Casinos in Las Vegas, Nevada. Register for both events to
save! Cost: $1,100 for members; $1,250 for non-members.
Learn more at www.iccfa.com/celebrants q
Become a Certified Celebrant January 12-14 in Las Vegas
2015 music and webcasting licenses on sale now
Manning
Stansbury
Update
Send in news about your cemetery, funeral home, crematory or association to sloving@iccfa.com. If you publish a newsletter,
please email a copy to sloving@iccfa.com or mail to: Susan Loving, ICCFA, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164.
nMID-AMERICA COLLEGE OF FU-
NERAL SERVICE, Jefersonville, Indiana,
recently held fall commencement exer-
cises. Interim President James Shoemake
presided. Jason Daniel Johnston, manag-
ing funeral director at High Point Funeral
Home and Crematorium in Memphis,
Tennessee, and valedictorian of the Mid-
America 2005 fall graduating class, gave the
commencement address. Individual award
recipients included Stephanie Ann House
of Floyds Knobs, Indiana, valedictorian and
Restorative Art Award winner; Alexander
Ray McArthur of Wise, Virginia, salutatori-
an; and Alexander James Dyer of Lancaster,
Ohio, W.H. Bill Pierce Award winner.
nPierce Mortuary Colleges has announced
the hiring of Lauren M. Budrow, CFSP, as
president of MID-AMERICA COLLEGE
OF FUNERAL SERVICE, Jefersonville,
Indiana. Budrow has a combined total of 15
years in funeral service and higher education.
Most recently, she served as program director
and instructor for the Funeral Service Educa-
tion program at Lake Washington Institute of
Technology, Kirkland, Washington.
A licensed funeral director and embalmer
in the states of Indiana and
Washington, Budrow worked
for eight years at Flanner and
Buchanan Funeral Centers in
Indianapolis, Indiana, before
moving to Seattle, Washing-
ton, to pursue other opportu-
nities. She holds an associates
degree in mortuary science
from Vincennes University, a bachelors
degree in English literature from Indiana
University, and a masters degree in business
administration from Butler University.
Budrow credits her father-in-law, Norman
Knuth, as her inspiration to pursue funeral
service, pointing to his nearly 40 years as a
funeral director who demonstrated the values
and rewards of funeral service.
The tour of Hartsdale Pet Cemetery led by historian Mary Thurston.
nHARTSDALE PET CEMETERY,
Hartsdale, New York, recently invited the
public in for a free History Day Walking
Tour. Te plot of a lion cub who lived at the
Plaza Hotel with a Russian princess; the frst
and largest pet mausoleum ever construct-
ed; the frst War Dog Memorial created for
canines that served in wartime; and grave
sites of pets belonging to Mariah Carey,
Irene Castle and Gene Krupa were among
the tour stops. Hartsdale Pet Cemeterys
Historian Mary Turston lead the tour. An
internationally recognized anthropologist
and animal historian, she was responsible
for completing Hartsdales successful appli-
cation to be listed on the National Register
of Historic Places in 2012. All participants
received a complimentary copy of Te
Peaceable Kingdom in Hartsdale, signed
by the author, Edward C. Martin III, a
Hartsdale Pet Cemetery vice president. Te
cemetery, Americas frst pet cemetey, was
established in 1896. r
The fall 2014 Graduating Class of Mid-America College of Funeral Service and
(seated) faculty and staff. Seated, from left, Richard Nelson, Angela Persinger,
Alisa Perkins, James Shoemake, Shelby Chism, Gary Bridgewater and Dennis
Board. Middle row, from left, Alec Ricketts, Gypsy Antra, Elaine Auer, Stefanie
House, Autumn Smith, Lindsette Wilson, Alex Dyer, Nick Leonhard and Matt Hall.
Back row, from left, Jessica Bruno, Dana Suber, Jacoria Tooley, Geri Gogle, Nicole
Saffell, Shelly Jones, Edwin Coots IV and Alex McArthur.
Jason Johnston, right, receives the
Distinguished Service Award from Mid-
America Interim President and Chief Ad-
ministrative Offcer James Shoemake.
Budrow
to page 40
nWEST LAUREL HILL CEMETERY,
Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania, recently
held its frst ever murder myster dinner.
Inspired by the true events of an unsolved
murder from 1910, a sinister plot emerged
through the storytelling of actors and at-
tendees alike. Accompanying the show was
a cocktail hour with a live musical perfor-
mance, and a three-course dinner featuring
typical cuisine from the 1910s.
nTe FUNERAL SERVICE FOUN-
DATION, Brookfeld, Wisconsin, re-
cently received major gifs from several
companies. Homesteaders Life Co., Des
Moines, Iowa, and National Guardian Life
Insurance Co., Madison, Wisconsin, each
pledged $150,000 to the foundation. Mat-
thews International, Pittsburgh, Pennsylva-
nia, pledged $200,000, the largest single gif
this year.
Right, PIMS Dean of
Faculty and Students
Dr. Joseph Marsaglia,
left, presents a plaque
for 35 years of distin-
guished serves to M.
Roger Walker.
Left, PIMS President
and CEO Eugene C.
Ogrodnik receives a
proclamation congratu-
lating the school on its
75th anniversary from
Pennsylvania State
Rep. Harry Readshaw.
nPITTSBURGH INSTITUTE OF
MORTUARY SCIENCE, Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania, recently celebrated its 75
anniversary/reunion. Te celebration
kicked of with an afernoon open house at
the school and a formal banquet that eve-
ning at the Sheraton Hotel, Station Square.
More than 300 people attended, including
alumni and friends. A proclamation was
presented from State Rep. Harry Readshaw
on behalf of the Pennsylvania House of
Representatives, and a letter of congratula-
tions was received from Governor Tom
Corbett.
When founded in 1939, PIMS was ini-
tially named Pittsburgh School of Embalm-
ing and was located at 3337 Forbes Avenue.
PIMS moved to its present location at 5808
Baum Boulevard in 1989. Te schools
founding fathers were Dr. Emory James,
Dr. Otto Margolis and John Rebol; its frst
president was John A. Freyvogel Sr. Eugene
Ogrodnik has been president since 1991.
PIMS is one of 58 mortuary programs
in the country and has been a leader in fu-
neral service education, having for a short
time provided mortuary science education
to death-care providers in Osaka, Japan.
It is an independent institution, not a part
of any college or university. Te schools
motto is Scientia, Sollertia, Servitium,
meaning, Knowledge, Skills, Service.
Te school ofers several educational
programs, including a 12-month diploma,
a 12-month associate in specialized tech-
no logy degree, a 16-month associate in
specialized business degree and a 20-month
associate in specialized business degree, as
well as bachelor degree co-ops with Tiel
College, Point Park University, Gannon
University and California University of
Pennsylvania.
In addition, PIMS is the frst mortuary
program to have a complete distance learn-
ing program allowing students to work
at home while completing the program
online. Te online program has about 100
students, with graduates from every state.
More than 7,000 men and women have
matriculated through the various programs
at PIMS during the past 75 years.
During the anniversary banquet, M.
Roger Walker was presented a plaque for
35 years of distinguished service. PIMS
Dean of Faculty and Students Dr. Joseph
Marsaglia presented the award on behalf
of the board, faculty, staf and students.
Walker ofcially retired from PIMS this
year. In 1979, he was responsible for initi-
ating the schools Christmas food drive for
the needy. Over the years, students have
raised over $10,000 to make up an approxi-
mate 6,000 food baskets, as well as clothing
and toys.
Also, a new scholarship award was
announced at the banquet to honor PIMS
President and CEO Eugene C. Ogrodnik.
Te Eugene C. Ogrodnik Entrepreneurial
Award was announced by PIMS Chairman
of the Board Fred Donatelli. Te award will
be presented to a graduating student who
best exhibits the qualities of stewardship,
scholarship and leadership, has earned no
less than an overall 3.0 average and has
excelled in the business core curriculum. r
U P DAT E
West Laurel Hills murder mystery evening featured food, entertainment and, of
course, clues to the mystery to be unraveled.
to page 41
The shooting gallery was the hit of
Green-Wood Cemeterys William F. Man-
gels exhibit. It was 22 feet, 4 inches long
and weighed over a ton.
McQueen
Karnes
In memoriam
Frank L. Karnes
Frank L. Karnes jr., 93,
Lincoln, Nebraska, died on
October 17. He was presi-
dent of the then American
Cemetery Association (now
the ICCFA) in 1968-69. He
was also president of the Nebraska Cem-
etery Association for three terms and was a
board member of the Nebraska and Kansas
associations. For many years, he was the
president and owner of Lincoln Memorial
Park and Funeral Home in Lincoln.
A graduate of Emporia State College,
he served in the US Navy during World
War II. He entered the cemetery business
in 1948, working as sales manager, general
manager, president and chairman of the
board as well as owner of Lincoln Memori-
al. He also formed his own sales contracting
company and held many sales contracts in
the Midwest with a number of cemeteries.
Survivors include his wife Dixie, two
children, several step-children, and many
grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He
was preceded in death by wife Mary and a
son.
Services and viewing were held at Lin-
coln Memorial Funeral Home. Burial was at
Lincoln Memorial Park Cemetery. r
MJK AD 2 of 2
1/2 I
4-COLOR
nJohn T. McQueen, CFSP,
has been elected to serve as
president of the Board of
Trustees of the ACADEMY
OF PROFESSIONAL
FUNERAL SERVICE
PRACTICE. He is a lifetime
member of the academy who
is the owner, president and
CEO of the Anderson-McQueen Family
Tribute Centers in St. Petersburg, Florida.
He is also owner and president of Sunnyside
Cemetery Inc. He has degrees from Saint
Leo University, St. Petersburg College and
Gupton-Jones College and studied at the
University of Tampa. McQueen is a mem-
ber of the ICCFA Board of Directors, is past
president of the Florida Cemetery, Cremation
and Funeral Association and is a past member
of the NFDA Policy Board.
nTHE FUNERAL DIRECTORS AS-
SOCIATION OF KENTUCKY recently
installed its 2014-2015 ofcers. Ofcers
are President Doug Stanley, Williamstown;
President-Elect Robbie Brantley, Brownsville;
Vice President David West, Nicholasville; Ser-
geant-at-Arms John Jones, Harlan; Secretary/
Treasurer Jim Davis, Berea; and Immediate
Past President Marcia Canif Davis, Ashland.
Chairman of the Board is Mary F. Steele,
Pineville; and district directors are Gerald M.
Marty Jones II, Morgantown; Brandy Har-
wood, Tompkinsville; Rick Morgan, Princ-
eton; Rusty Preston, Paintsville; Rob Riley,
Carrollton; Wesley Rominger, Manchester;
and Grant Bolt, Lexington.
U P DAT E
nTHE GREEN-WOOD CEMETERY,
Brooklyn, New York, recently put on a
themed exhibit partially funded via Kick-
starter. William F. Mangels: Amusing the
Masses on Coney Island and Beyond, ran
through October 26 in the Historic Chapel.
Mangels was a German immigrant trained
as a mechanic who ran the leading manufac-
turer of amusement park rides, carousels and
shooting galleries in America. Green-Wood
Historic Fund members were admitted free. r
Supply Line
nTHE LIFE CHEST, Troy, Michigan,
presented former President George H.W.
Bush with a limited edition, custom-
made Freedom Chest for his 90th birth-
day. Te president celebrated his birthday
with a parachute jump in tandem with
Mike Elliott, the leader of the All Veteran
Group. Afer landing and being congratu-
lated by his wife and son, former President
George Bush, the elder Bush met with
Donna Yost, CEO and president of Te Life
Chest. Yost presented Bush with the chest,
which was resplendent with a gold presi-
dential seal and handles and flled with
photos, keepsakes and mementos from
throughout his life.
jcummings@lifecelebration.com;
1.888.887.3782; www.lifecelebrationinc.com
nJoseph U. Suhor III, chairman of the
board of WILBERT FUNERAL SER-
VICES, Broadview, Illinois, plans to initi-
ate an employee stock ownership plan
for the sale of his stock and the stock of
the controlling group of shareholders. Tis
structure will distinguish Wilbert Funeral
Services as the only known ESOP in the fu-
neral service industry and ensure continu-
ation of the company as an independent
entity with a solid focus on
the industry.
Also, Wilbert has
promoted Matt Stewart to
regional vice-president for
direct operations in Oklaho-
ma, Arkansas, Colorado and
north Texas. Stewart joined
Suhor Industries, which
was recently merged into Wilbert Funeral
Services, in 2007 in a sales capacity for the
Oklahoma City location. He advanced to
regional manager for the entire Oklahoma,
Arkansas and Colorado region in 2012. A
licensed funeral director and embalmer,
Stewart has been involved in the funeral
service industry since his teenage years
working in a family funeral business. He
graduated from Dallas Institute of Funeral
Service in 1994 and subsequently served as
funeral director and embalmer at several
Oklahoma funeral homes until joining
Suhor. 1.888.WILBERT; www.wilbert.com
nTRIBUTES.COM, Boston, Massachu-
setts, has broadened its relationship with
TUKIOS, Layton, Utah, to incorporate
support for Tukios funeral webcasting
producting directly with Tributes obitu-
ary management platform. Funeral homes
that have equipped their facilities with the
proper Tukios video equipment will be able
to confgure and display live and recorded
webcasts directly within Tributes Eternal
Tribute multi-media online memorial. Te
Tributes.com integration allows funeral
home personnel to manage webcasts from
within the Tributes Funeral Home Central
dashboard, eliminating the need to learn
and use a second piece of sofware.
www.tributes.com/sales; www.tukios.com
nHOMESTEADERS, Des Moines, Iowa,
has made its Security Option Plus avail-
able in 42 states. California, New Hamp-
shire, Oklahoma and Oregon were recently
added to the list. Te product helps protect
READERS: To fnd the products and ser-
vices you need online, go to www.iccfa.com
and select directory to fnd:
Supply Link Search
Engine, the fastest way
to fnd the products and
services you need at your
funeral home, cemetery or
crematory.
SUPPLIERS: Send your press releases
about your new products and services,
and about awards, personnel changes and
other news to sloving@iccfa.com
for inclusion in Supply Line. Large fles that
will not go through the ICCFA server can be
sent to slovingiccfa@yahoo.com.
The Life Chest CEO Donna Yost and former President George H.W. Bush.
The customized Life Chest given to
former President G.W. Bush.
Stewart
S U P P LY L I NE
funeral homes against shortfalls in prear-
ranged funeral fnancing. 1.800.477.3633;
www.homesteaderslife.com
nASTRAL INDUSTRIES,
Lynn, Indiana, has added
four sales rep-
resentatives.
Gregg Phillips
is based in the
Akron, Ohio,
region; he has
more than a
decade of experience in the
funeral industry. Tim Tar-
ran has joined the Chicago,
Illinois, business center. He has several
decades of experience in the
funeral industry, includ-
ing as a funeral director in
the Chicago
region.
Reggie Wil-
liams, whose
background
is in sales, has
joined the Stockton, Cali-
fornia, business center. Don
Arndt also has joined the
Stockton business center. He has almost 30
years of experience in the funeral industry.
www.astralindustries.com
1.800.278.7252; sales@astralindustries.com
nSUCCESSION PLAN-
NING ASSOCIATES,
Raleigh, North Carolina,
has been formed as a joint
venture between Alan Creedy
and Bill McQueen. Tey will
help people in exploring and
evaluating the many options
and strategies as well as tax
and family issues involved in
succession planning. Creedy
of Creedy & Co. has enjoyed
a successful career building,
restoring and developing com-
panies. McQueen, a licensed
funeral director, recently
transitioned out of the family
funeral home, Anderson-Mc-
Queen, into a full-time career
as estate attorney and legal advisor. Both men
also hold certifed public accounting (CPA)
licenses. alan@alancreedy.org;
bill@mcqsidlaw.com; www.successionpa.com
nFUNERAL DIRECTORS LIFE IN-
SURANCE CO., Abilene, Texas, has
recently had its A.M. Best rating of A-
reafrmed. Tis is the eighth straight year
the company has received an excellent rat-
ing from A.M. Best.
www.funeraldirectorslife.com
nPHOENIX BRONZE RESOURCES,
Aliquippa, Pennsylvania, has been formed
as a joint venture by Phoenix Foundry
Australia and Granite Resources USA.
Te company manufactures bronze
cemetery memorials and plaques. Te
40,000-square-foot, state-of-the-art facil-
ity in Aliquippa is being upgraded with
Phoenixs advanced pattern-making equip-
ment, founding processing equipment and
fnishing procedures.Te company has a
new line of contemporary memorials on
which designs previously ofered only on
granite can be cast in bronze. Bronze im-
ages memorials are another new product,
integrating portraits wand other custom
images into bronze markers.
orders@pbrbronze.com;
1.800.777.9979; pbrbronze.com
nPrecious Metal Refning Services Inc.,
the parent company of PROGRESSIVE
ENVIRONMENTAL SERVICES, Bar-
rington, Illinois, has been named to Inc.
Magazines annual Inc. 5000, an exclusive
ranking of the nations fastest-growing
private companies. Te list represents the
most comprehensive look at the most im-
portant segment of the economy, Americas
independent entrepreneurs. Tis is the
third time that Precious Metal Refning
Services has been ranked among the Inc.
5000. Te companies are ranked according
to percentage revenue growth when com-
paring 2010 to 2013. 1.800.323.9785;
www.progressive-environmental.com
nKINKARACO, San Francisco, Cali-
fornia, now ofers the Kinkara-Kart,
designed for transporting the deceased
from the coach to graveside on unpaved
terrain. Te hand-pulled processional
transport is a reproduction of a 19th cen-
tury funeral caisson and comes in three
basic model. Te DIY is unfnished wood,
unpainted/unstained with unpainted metal
axles. Te stained wood model is made
of oak with a choice of light, medium or
dark walnut stain with black painted metal
axles. Te Victorian model is painted black
or hunter green with gold pin-striping and
hand-painted axles. All carts are 32 inches
wide and either 76 inches or 80 inches
long. Tey have wrought iron railings
around three sides and a removable bracket
at the back end for loading. Sled skis for
winter use, horse rails and a ball hitch for
hauling behind motorized vehicles are
available as add-ons.
415.874.9698; info@kinkaraco.com;
www.greenburialproducts.com
nASD, Media, Pennsylvania, has re-
leased an updated version of its iPhone
application, ASD Mobile. It includes a
Sheldon Goldner, founder of Precious
Metal Refning Services, parent corpo-
ration of Progressive Environmental
Services, celebrates the companys be-
ing included in Inc. Magazines annual
ranking of the nations fastest-growing
private companies.
Kinkaracos Victorian transport cart.
Creedy
McQueen
Above, a memorial from Phoenix Bronze
Resources. Below, a burn off as a me-
morial is manufactured.
Arndt
Phillips
Tarran
Williams
fresh look with a new
slide out menu that
allows directors to
maneuver through
the app quickly.
Te new home page
summarizes account
activity, and clients
can download or
print First Call forms
from the First Call
section. ASD also has
introduced a new,
patent-pending fea-
ture called MobileFH
that allows directors
to display the funeral
homes phone num-
ber as the caller ID
when dialing from
their cell phone.
Kevin@myasd.com;
1.800.868.9950;
www.myasd.com
nHUNTER INDUS-
TRIES, San Marcos,
California, has promoted
Stephanie Brownell to chief
fnancial ofcer. Brownell
has been with Hunter since
1995 and had been serving
as the companys tax director
and corporate secretary. A
graduate of San Diego State University,
she holds a masters degree
in taxation and is a CPA.
She has served on Hunters
Board of Director since
2010. Hunter also has hired
Kelsey Jacquard as a prod-
uct manager. She had been a
mechnical engineer for four
years. 760.744.5240;
www.hunterindustries.com
nDORIC PRODUCTS, Marshall, Il-
linois, recently presented sales awards to
its dealers in North America and Canada.
Receiving top honors again this year were
Doug Evans and Jim Woods of Carolina-
Doric Inc., Florence, South Carolina. Te
company was recognized as the No. 1
dealer and for the overall greatest number
sold. Other awards given included: Top
Cremation Product Sales Award, Cordeiro
Vault Co., Vallejo, California; Daisy Chri-
som Award, Rocky Mountain Monument
& Vault, Sandy, Utah. Overall Greatest
Percentage of Increase: Division I, Saline
Vault Co., Sweet Springs, Kansas; Division
IISouthern Vault Services Inc., Blakely,
Georgia; Division III Doody Burial
Vaults Inc., Winchendon, Massachusetts;
and Division IVPhenix Vault, Phenix
City, Alabama.
Bronze Category: Greatest Number
Sold: Division IDoric of Tennessee,
Nashville, Tennessee; Division IIWatts
Vault & Monument Co., DesMoines, Iowa;
and Division IIIWicomico Vault Co.
Inc., Salisbury, Maryland. Greatest Per-
centage of Increase: Division IForsyth
Brothers Concrete Products, Terre Haute,
Indiana; Division IIPerfection Concrete,
Vandalia, Illinois; and Division IIIEver-
lasting Vault Co., Randallstown, Maryland.
Lydian Category: Greatest Number
Sold: Division ICarolina-Doric Inc.;
Division IIWatts Vault & Monument
Corp., Montezuma, Iowa; and Division
IIIWicomico Vault Co. Inc., Salisbury,
Maryland. Greatest Percentage of Increase:
Division IBruns-Norwalk Vault Co., St.
Louis, Missouri; Division IIEsterly Con-
crete Co. Inc., West Reading, Pennsylvania;
and Division IIIHarris Precast Inc., La
Porte, Indiana; and Huntingburg Vault Co.,
Huntingburg, Indiana.
Athenian Category: Greatest Number
Sold: Division ICarolina-Doric, Inc.;
Division IIDoric Vault of Eastern New
York, Hudson, New York; Division III
Golden Eagle Vault Co., Rocky Mountain,
Virginia; and Division IVJ.P. Vincent &
Sons Inc., Galena, Illinois. Greatest Per-
centage of Increase: Division IForsyth
Brothers Concrete Products, Terre Haute,
Indiana; Division IIAbel Vault & Monu-
ment Co., Pekin, Illinois; and Division
IIIGolden Eagle Burial Vault.
Patrician Category: Greatest Number
Sold: Division IHairfeld Vault Com-
panies Inc., Newton, North Carolina;
Division IIAbel Vault & Monument Co.;
and Division IIIMemphis Vault Co.,
Memphis, Tennessee. Greatest Percentage
of Increase: Division ISuperior Vault
Co., Charlestown, Indiana; Division II
Mercer Vault Co., Fredericksburg, Virginia;
Division IIICemex dba Callaway Precast,
Delray Beach, Florida; and Division IV
Phenix Vault.
Phoenix Category: Greatest Number
Sold: Division ICordeiro Vault Co.,
Vallejo, California; Division IIDoric
Vault of Eastern New York; Division III
Everlasting Vault Co.; and Division IV
J.P. Vincent & Sons Inc. Greatest Percent-
age of Increase: Division IHairfeld Vault
Companies Inc., Newton, North Carolina;
Division IIMercer Vault Co.; Division
IIID of K Inc., Iola, Kansas; and Division
IVGettysburg Burial Vault Inc., Gettys-
burg, Pennsylvania.
1.800.457.0671; www.doric-vaults.com
n THE CENTER FOR LOSS AND LIFE
TRANSITION, Fort Collins, Colorado,
has released a new brochure, Honor-
ing, Remembering, Healing: Te pieces
of a Meaningful Funeral. Te brochure
is by Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Making use of a
multi-colored heart image, Dr. Wolfelt
teaches the valuable pieces of the visita-
tion/reception, music, readings, eulogy/re-
membrance, symbols,
actions and gather-
ing. Te brochure
is designed to be a
compassionate, edu-
cational take-home
piece for grieving
families and funeral
home guests. Tis
brochure completes
the why of the
funeral set that also
includes the brochure
Why We Have Had
Funerals Since the
Beginning of Time,
two posters for the
arrangement room
that interface with the two brochures,
and a training manual for funeral home
staf titled Educating the Families You
Serve about the WHY of the Funeral.
970.226.6050;
www.centerforloss.com r
ASDs updated
iPhone app.
S U P P LY L I NE
Jim Woods (left) of Carolina-Doric, Inc.
receives the No. 1 Sales Dealer Award
from Doric Vice President of Finance
and Treasurer Jim Wiens.
Jacquard
The Center for Loss and Life Transi-
tions new brochure, below, completes
the why of the funeral set, above.
Brownell
Calendar
E-mail calendar listings and additions or
corrections to Association Pipeline to
bclough@iccfa.com
For continually updated meeting listings
and direct links to websites for professional
associations, go to www.iccfa.com; select
Directory, then Industry Association Directory.
To see all industry conventions and meetings
for a particular month, go to www.iccfa.com;
select Find a Member, then Industry Calendar.
December 1-31: National Museum of Funeral
History, Houston, Texas, community tree, for
which visitors can decorate a holiday ornament in
honor of a loved one. www.mmfh.org
December 4: Connecticut Funeral Directors
Assn. Annual Mtg. www.ctfda.org
December 4: Maryland Cemetery, Funeral &
Cremation Assn. Party. amy@dulaneyvalley.com
December 5: Colorado Funeral Directors Assn.
Mtg., Holiday Reception & Auction, Marriott
Denver West, Golden. www.cofda.org
December 9: Workshop by Dr. Alan Wolfelt,
Lakeland, Florida. 970.226.6050;
www.centerforloss.com
December 10: Maryland State Funeral Directors
Assn. Holiday Party. www.msdfa.net
December 10: Workshop by Dr. Alan Wolfelt,
Ormond Beach, Florida. 970.226.6050;
December 14: The Compassionate Friends
Worldwide Candle Lighting, 7 p.m. local time.
www.compassionatefriends.org
December 17: Louisiana Funeral Directors
Assn. Last Chance Seminar, Natchitoches Event
Center. www.lfdaweb.org
2015
January 14-16: ICCFA Wide World of Sales,
Ballys & Paris Las Vegas Hotel & Casino, Las
Vegas, Nevada. www.iccfa.com
January 17: New Hampshire Cemetery Assn.
Mtg., Church Landing, Meredith.
www.nhcemetery.org
January 25-26: Virginia Funeral Directors Assn.
Winter Conf., Omni Richmond Hotel, Richmond.
www.vfda.net
January 28-29: International Deathcare Import-
Export Summit presented by MKJ Marketing,
The Terranea Resort, California. 1.888.655.1566;
www.InternationalDeathcareImportExport.com
February 2-5: Opening Your Communitys Eyes
to Why We Need Funerals training by Dr. Alan
Wolfelt, Scottsdale Marriott Suites Old Town,
Scottsdale, Arizona. 970.226.6050;
February 8-9: Mississippi Funeral Directors
Assn. Mid-Winter Seminar, Riverwalk Casino
Hotel, Vicksburg.
www.mississippifuneraldirectors.com
February 13-15: Maryland State Funeral
Directors Assn. Midwinter Mtg. & Retreat.
www.msfda.net
February 18-19: Montana Funeral Directors
Assn. Mid-Winter Convention, Helena.
www.montanafuneraldirectors.org
February 20-22: Monument Builders of North
America Annual Convention, Charlotte, North
Carolina. www.monumentbuilders.org
February 21-28: Michigan Funeral Directors
Assn. Midwinter Mtg., St. Kitts Marriott, St. Kitts.
www.mfda .org
February 24-26: Cremation Assn. of North
Carolina Annual Mtg., Pinehurst Resort, North
Carolina. www.caonc.org
1. Publication title: ICCFA Magazine.
2. Publication no.: 1936-2099
3. Filing date: October 1, 2014.
4. Issue frequency: 10 times per year.
5. No. of issues published annually: 10.
6. Annual subscription price: $39.95.
7. Complete mailing address of known ofce of pub-
lication: 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling,
VA 20164-4468.
8. Complete mailing address of headquarters or gen-
eral business ofce of publisher: 107 Carpenter
Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468.
9. Full names and complete mailing addresses of
publisher, editor and managing editor: Pub-
lisherRobert Fells, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite
100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468; Editornone;
Managing editorSusan Loving, 107 Carpenter
Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468.
10. Owner: International Cemetery and Funeral
Association, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100,
Sterling, VA 20164-4468.
11. Known bondholders, mortgagees and other secu-
rity holders owning or holding 1 percent or more
of total amount of bonds, mortgages or other
securities: None.
12. Te purpose, function and nonproft status of this
organization and the exempt status for federal
income tax purposes has not changed during
preceding 12 months.
13. Publication name: ICCFA Magazine.
14. Issue date for circulation data below: August-
September 2014.
15. Extent and nature of circulationAverage no.
copies each issue during preceding 12 months:
(a) Total no. copies8,740; (b) Paid circulation
(b1) Mailed outside-county paid5,246; (b2)
Mailed in-county subscriptions45; (b3) Sales
through dealers and carriers, street vendors
and counter sales and other non-USPS paid
distribution392; (b4) Other classes mailed0;
(c) Total paid distribution5,683; (d) Free or
nominal rate distribution (d1) Outside-coun-
ty1,845; (d2) In-county0; (d3) Other classes
mailed16; (d4) Outside the mail332; (e)
Total free or nominal rate distribution2,193;
(f) Total distribution: 7,876; (g) Copies not
distributed864; (h) Total8,740; (i) Percent
paid circulation72 percent. Extent and nature
of circulationActual no. copies of single issue
published nearest to fling date: (a) Total no.
copies7,800; (b) Paid circulation (b1) Mailed
outside-county paid5,673; (b2) Mailed incoun-
ty subscriptions35; (b3) Sales through dealers
and carriers, street vendors and counter sales
and other non-USPS paid distribution318;
(b4) Other classes mailed0; (c) Total paid
distribution6,026; (d) Free or nominal rate
distribution (d1) Outside county1,198; (d2)
In-county0; (d3) Other classes mailed20;
(d4) Free or nominal rate distribution outside
the mail200; (e) Total free or nominal rate dis-
tribution1,418; (f) Total distribution: 7,444; (g)
Copies not distributed356; (h) Total7,800;
(i) Percent paid circulation81 percent.
16. Tis statement of ownership will be printed in the
December 2014 issue of this publication.
17. Signature and title of editor, publisher, business
manager or owner: Susan Loving, Managing
Editor.
Statement of Ownership,
Management & Circulation
Regular
Fails Funeral Home
Mangum, Oklahoma
Highland Cemetery Inc.
Rogerville, Tennessee
Professionals: Pet loss services
Dignity Pet Crematorium
Lewes, Delaware
Professional/Supplier
Eko-URN
Miami, Florida r
FoR INFoRMAtIoN About tHE ICCFA
& MEMBERSHIP:
Go to www.iccfa.com/membership to download a
benefts brochure and an application form.
Call 1.800.645.7700 to have membership informa-
tion faxed or mailed to you.
MEMBERSHIP APPLICATIONS Admission to ICCFA membership normally requires a majority
vote of those present and voting at any meeting of the executive committee. The names of all ap-
plicants must be published in this magazine. ICCFA members objecting to an application must do
so in writing to the ICCFA executive director within 45 days of publication. In the event of an objec-
tion, the executive committee will conduct an inquiry. If an applicant is rejected, they will be granted
an appeal upon written request. The decision of the Board of Directors shall be fnal.
Providing except-
ional education,
networking and
legislative guidance and support to
progressive cemetery, funeral and
cremation professionals worldwide
New Members
to page 46
A D I NDE X
15 Abbott & Hast
17 American Cemetery/Mortuary
Consultants
31 ASDAnswering Service for
Directors
17 Biondan North America Inc.
33 BlindCheck
2 Continental Computer Corp.
15 Directors Choice
23 Duncan Stuart Todd Ltd.
15 Ensure-A-Seal
25 Flowers for Cemeteries
23 Forever Pets Inc.
17 Funeral Call
31 Holland Supply
21 Homesteaders Life Co.
34 IMSA
23 Kryprotek
47 Live Oak Bank
11 Love Urns LLC
19 Madelyn Co.
27 Merendino Cemetery Care
13 MKJ Marketing
41 MKJ Marketing
25 Nomis Publications
15 Obermayer Rebmann Maxwell &
Hippel
3 Paradise Pictures
13 SEP Technologies
9 Starmark Funeral Products
7 SuperNova International
46 Supply Link
25 SVE Portable Roadway Systems
48 Trigard
5 U.S. Metalcraft
11 Vet Network LLC
25 WithumSmith + Brown
29 Worsham College
31 Zontec Ozone r
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VISIt ouR WEb SItE/WWW.ADoVERMARKER.CoM
Classifeds
Check the classifed announcements at www.iccfa.com/employment.htm
To place a classifed, contact Rick Platter, rplatter@iccfa.com
C A L E NDA R
easier way
theres an
Powered by Multiview, ICCFA Supply Link is a
superior tool for our unique community that
streamlines your efforts to fnd products and services.
Start your search at
www.iccfasupplylink.com
February 25-26: International Conf. of Funeral
Service Examining Boards 111th Annual Mtg.,
Hilton Dallas Lincoln Centre, Dallas, Texas.
www.theconferenceonline.org
February 25-March 2: Ohio Funeral Directors
Assn. Annual Educational Conf., The Westin St.
John Resort & Villas, St. John, Virgin Islands
www.ofdaonline.org
February 26-27: Alliance of Illinois Cemeterians
Annual Convention, Holiday Inn & Suites, East
Peoria. www.aicemeterians.org
February 26-March 1: Johnson Consulting
Groups Annual Client Summit, Westin Kierland
Resort & Spa, Scottsdale, Arizona. bhalligan@
johnsonconsulting.com
March 12-14: California Monument Assn. &
Pacifc Northwest Monument Builders Assn. Joint
Spring Convention, Vancouver, Washington.
www.pnmba.org
March 20-22: National Soc. of Allied &
Independent Funeral Contractors Annual
General Mtg., The Beaumont Estate, Old
Windsor, Berkshire. www.saif.org.uk
March 26-28: California Assn. of Public Ceme-
teries 57th Annual Conf., Embassy Suites, San
Luis Obispo. publiccemeteries@aol.com
April 8-11: ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo,
Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center & The
Grand Hyatt San Antonio, Texas. www.iccfa.com
April 22-25: International Order of the Golden
Rule Annual Conf., Orlando World Center
Marriott, Orlando, Florida. www.ogr.org
April 29-May 1: Ohio Funeral Directors Assn.
135th Annual Convention, Hilton Columbus,
Easton. www.ofdaonline.org
May 10-13: Kansas Funeral Directors Assn.
Annual Convention, Capitol Plaza Hotel, Topeka.
www.ksfda.org
May 12-14: Iowa Funeral Directors Assn. Annual
Convention. www.iafda.org r
r
from page 45
Live Oak Bank AD
FULL PAGE
page 47 (C3)
4-COLOR
Trigard AD
FULL PAGE
page 48 (C4)
4-COLOR

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