Three Principles of Discipleship

Matthew 28
18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven
and on earth.
19 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father
and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 "teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you
always, even to the end of the age." Amen.
We know this as the Great Commission. This is also the greatest failure in the church. Without
discipleship, believers do not understand how to live their faith. It is common to see the great
evangelistic effort, but where is discipleship? A disciple is more than a convert and our call goes far
beyond baptism. I was not discipled and I struggled to make sense of it all. I fell far away from God
and no one reached out or even seemed to care. I didnt know how to pray. I had no concept that God
could use me much less did I think that there was a plan for my life. I did not know that feelings would
not be my guide. When the feeling faded, I thought God had rejected me. I tried to pursue emotions,
instead of a relationship with God. Why did problems come? Why didnt God protect me? When I
asked God to bless my self-focused desires, why didnt He honor my prayer? Why dont I know Gods
will for my life?
I could write pages on the common questions that almost all new Christians ask. Unfortunately, the
church has left its members to figure these out on their own. Because of this, many give up on
Christianity, become calloused and complacent, or get swept away by those who teach error. In most
churches, people make a profession of faith; they are congratulated, put on a role and forgotten. The
church that seemed so loving and welcoming when I was a prospect, now has left me isolated in the
middle of the crowd. Discipleship is not seeking converts, but bringing people into an intimate
relationship with God. This begins with a conversion or surrendering ourselves to Jesus Christ. But this
is only the beginning. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Surrender is where Jesus authors
our faith, discipleship points people to the finish line and teaches them how to run the race according to
Gods purposes. In His purposes we find joy and fulfillment. There are three principles in discipleship
Relationships, Teaching, and Mentorship for Service.
1. Relationship
Of these three, the relationship is the most critical today. This is not because it is the most important,
but it is the most neglected. For this reason, this message will put a lot of focus on this point. Most
people are intimidated by discipleship. The word discipleship has been elevated to a practice for the
spiritually mature. People usually think of the Timothy Principle where an elder Christian takes an
immature Christian under his wing and makes him into a fellow minister. Although mentoring is one
aspect of discipleship, that is not the only aspect of discipleship.
Friendship.
Discipleship = friendship with a Christ centered focus. We are all called to be disciplers. We are not
called to become spiritual giants and then become disciplers. Anyone can be a friend. The problem with
most people is that they feel insecure when it comes to reaching out. That is a flaw in our human
nature. Everyone sits in the crowd and expects someone else to reach out to them. When no one reaches
out, they feel lonely and isolated. The person beside them feels exactly the same way. Though people
with introverted personalities struggle more with this, even charismatic people have this problem. They
can be fun loving and handshaking, but still never get beyond the surface of a smile. We can easily be
surrounded by smiling faces and touched by no one. You can touch someones hand with a warm
handshake but that does not ever get beyond the surface and into the need.

A good illustration of this was a couple in a church I once attended. There was a couple that was so
loving, kind, and energetic. I considered them to be one of the nucleus members of the church. They
attended home Bible studies and knew all the members. What seemed sudden to us was actually a slow
growing problem with them. They quit coming and we soon found out they were visiting other
churches. That is not uncommon, but the reason has always stuck with me. She said that the reason
they were leaving was because she felt lonely. She didnt know anyone, didnt have any friends and felt
alone. Wow! How could one of the life-blood member of our group say she was alone and friendless?
The reason is that there was no discipleship. No one ever got beyond the surface and into her life.
The number one reason that people leave their church is they have no real relationships. People come
into a congregation; they feel accepted and welcomed so they join. They may be respected and well
liked, but because discipleship never gets beyond a Sunday morning handshake, they begin to feel
isolated. Church becomes a routine instead of a hunger. People then go to church out of a feeling of
obligation to God, not because we have a true love for Gods people. When we get to this point, we are
only one disappointment away from giving up. We all need something more than this routine. The
reason why we long for something more is because we were designed for something more. God did not
create any Lone Christians. God calls us to lift each other up. There should not be a single person in
the church that does not have at least one friend they meet with in an unstructured environment outside
of church.
Accountability.
Ecclesiastes 4:
9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Friendship is the key for accountability. Let me give two examples of this from my own life. I have a
friend that is very active in his church. I have had three people tell me that he credits me with where he
is spiritually today. It is almost comical to think about, but it really shows what discipleship is all about.
I wasnt very spiritual during the time we leaved close to each other and our friendship flourished. At
times, I was clueless and there were times when I regret how I really failed him as a friend and I
wondered why he credits me with anything. Not one time that I can think of did I ever expound the
scriptures to him. I cant remember even talking about the Bible. We became friends, I invited him to
church and we went together every week. I didnt nurture him along. I wasnt his mentor; I was his
friend.
The other example is a deacon in the church I was a part of when I was in my early twenties. He was
one of the highlights of church. He had a lot of charisma and was enjoyable to be with. He went on a
planned business trip for 3 weeks. Almost three months later, I still had not seen him. On the way to
church I drove past his house and saw his car so I pulled in for a quick visit. My only intention was to
say I had missed seeing him. We talked about little things and as I was leaving he said, You are the
first person from church that has bothered to contact me these last 3 months. How can a deacon go
unnoticed? But even if he wasnt a deacon, there is still no excuse for anyone to go unnoticed. What a
failure of the church. But it happens every week in churches around the world. The next week he was at
church and he continued to come regularly. He felt touched by a simple 15 minute visit.
These stories arent meant to sound boastful. I was pretty much clueless, but God ordained these
circumstances so that I could look back at this time and see clearly how discipleship works. I did not
even intend to act spiritual; I was just making contact with people I counted as friends. Today I can
look back and learn from my failures and these circumstances. How many people drifted away that I
never even thought about? Or how many times did I just assume that they were going to another church

and it was too late? I have two success stories, but how many fell through the cracks? My prayer is that
believers would take discipleship as a serious command and none would fall through. We cant prevent
people from leaving when they refuse to return, but those people are the exception. Most leave because
they feel neglected.
Becoming a Discipler
There are only two types of people who cant be a discipler someone who is not a disciple ( a
follower of Christ ) and someone who disobeys Gods command and refuses to disciple. The Bible says
in Proverbs 27:17, As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. That is
basic discipleship in a nutshell. Couple this with the passage from Ecclesiastes we read earlier and the
vision for Biblical discipleship begins to come clear. When a brother is down, it is our responsibility to
come along side and encourage. When a brother or sister falls, if we have a discipleship friendship, the
other is there to pick them up. If we fall alone, who will pick us up? Anyone can fall. In fact, the
scripture warns us that those who think they stand should beware or else they will fall (1 Corinthians
10:12). Charles Templeton was once an evangelist and the friend of Billy Graham. He is now a selfproclaiming atheist. I dont know the circumstances around his fall or who tried to help him, but this
serves as an example that even the spiritual giants are not any less vulnerable than the rest of us.
We cant prevent people from making bad choices. We have no control over someones life and when
we try to shape someone, we are entering into Gods territory. God has called us to be disciplers, not
creators. You cant disciple someone if you are not a disciple yourself. Jesus said in John 13: 35, "By
this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." You never quit being a
disciple. Your love for your brothers and sisters is evidence of your love for Christ. You cant love God
and be a disciple of Christ and neglect His command to love each other. At the center of that love is
discipleship. 1 John 3:10 puts it this way, In this the children of God and the children of the devil are
manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his
brother.
What does it mean to love my brother? First we have to look at love. Whenever the Bible commands us
to love, it is always Agape self-giving, self-sacrificing, outward love. Love that is not based on
receiving, but on giving without requiring a return. We dont reach out because we feel comfortable,
but because we love the children of God that are our brothers and sisters in Christ. Can I say that I love
God and never have love for His people? The Bible says no. 1 John 4 asks us, How can we say we
love God, who we cannot see and not love His children that we have seen?
Most people fear getting involved because they dont know where to start. Proverbs 18:24 tells us, A
man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I
have found that to be true. When we open up to someone else, they will usually open up to us.
Discipleship is really a partnership. I meet with several men outside of church. I am not their mentor.
Some are more solid believers than I am. The best discipleship is a mutual friendship and mutual
respect. People do not respond to someone who tries to come into their lives as a mentor. Few people
are in a position to successfully establish the Paul/Timothy relationship. People will respond to a pastor
or someone they think of as a spiritually experienced elder. But even that cant replace the
friendship/partnership way of discipling.
Many years ago my wife and I got to know a couple at our church. We seemed to have a lot in common
so we invited them over. The husband had a real heart for discipleship but his approach was hard to
take. We stepped outside to chat and for the next two hours he tried to disciple me. I cant even
remember what he talked about because all I could think about was Is this ever going to end? I wasnt
looking for a master student relationship. I was looking for a friend. I could not wait for that night to
end and that relationship faded away. Even though his intentions were good, he made zero impact in

my life. Even though I was struggling spiritually at the time, I needed a relationship more than a
lecture.
When I meet men for discipleship, it is not a mentorship. It is a friendship. I learn from them and hope
they learn from me. Just starting a Christ-centered friendship can be like laying a fire on dry wood that
causes our desire for Christ to ignite. I love to discuss the Bible and I really enjoy being around men
who enjoy the same. However, I dont place anyone below me. We each stand on the same ground at
the same level. Even if we are not at the same place spiritually, we can still be eye-to-eye in our
friendship. Only in friendship can the walls come down and will we allow ourselves to have the
vulnerability to share our real needs. This is a hard concept to get across. When someone comes to
Christ, people try to disciple them as a leader instead of as a friend. A person is much more open to
share struggles and ask questions to a friend than with someone on a pedestal. It is this misconception
of mentorship that makes people cower at the idea of discipleship. Christians believe that they have to
achieve a certain level before they are ready to disciple. But that is not scriptural. Mentorship is not the
same as discipleship, though it is a part of the discipling process. Mentorship is what Paul did with
Timothy. He recognized Timothys calling and spiritual gifts and Paul mentored Timothy to be his
replacement so he could give the ministry away. The mentorship principle of discipleship comes long
after God has used relational discipleship to produced fruit.
Relationship discipleship is the heart blood of the church. Jesus commanded it. Jesus lived it as our
example. Why did everyone including the vilest sinner feel like they could approach Jesus? It was
because Jesus humbled Himself. He met their need for acceptance and worth first and out of that
relationship repentance was born. The Bible says, it is the goodness of God that leads you to
repentance. Jesus welcomed sinners but His life and message changed their lives. He welcomed
sinners, but He didnt allow them to remain sinners. They either became disciples or adversaries.
Our lives should be welcome mats. Though we cant change anyones life, our life can reflect Gods
grace, which does change lives. Just by simply establishing friendships and getting on the same level as
each other, we can become disciples and disciplers. Paul taught this very principle. He said, to the Jew,
I became a Jew. To the Greek I became Greek. To the weak I became weak and to the strong I became
strong. I became all things to all people. He compromised the delivery without compromising the
message. Discipleship and lifestyle evangelism are not much different. We get into peoples lives for
the sake of loving them and becoming instruments of Gods grace. Our focus is on Christ, not on how
to disciple.
I worked with a man in ministry who had a real servants heart. I always called him the backbone of
our effort. He accepted Christ shortly after getting out of prison about 3 years ago. Today that man is in
prison again. On the job he was befriended by two guys who were still using drugs. He dropped out of
church and disappeared from the ministry. He got deeper and deeper into trouble until he found himself
back into his old ways and the same consequences. We can see that relationships work both ways. The
world has no problem reaching out to the church to draw members away. We shouldnt have any
trouble reaching our own members and reaching the world.
We have to first make the paradigm shift. Basic discipleship means Christian fellowship. That
fellowship must extend outside the structured programs of the church. True Christian fellowship should
produce friendship, accountability, and praying together. Spiritual maturity levels mean very little, but
interest level means a lot. I believe the first step the local church should make is establishing a way to
link partners and following up so that this vital discipleship does not fade away. We all have time for
one church friendship. If we dont, that is a symptom of a deeper problem that also needs to be
addressed.

2. Teaching
The next step in discipleship is teaching. The relationship side of discipleship gets off target because
we have been taught that these two go together. The relationship may produce opportunities to share
and teach each other, but the focus isnt to teach. In most churches, there are ample opportunities to
teach and have Bible studies. Teaching is equally as important as relationships. The biggest failure in
teaching discipleship is that the teachers often do not have adequate preparation. Some people are very
good at spontaneous teaching without notes or outlines. I am not. Even those who are unstructured in
their teaching style must take time to study and be preparation in order to be effective.
I once had a Sunday school teacher who never studied and believed it was unnecessary. He would open
the Bible and say, Lets see where God leads us. That might have been ok if he understood what he
was reading, but he had nothing to offer. He believed (and I have heard this said many times) that we
are to take no thought for what we will say, for the Spirit will reveal it when we need it. That is quite a
bit out of context. This idea is a misinterpretation of Matthew 10:18-20. If you read that statement in
context, Jesus was warning His disciples that when He was gone, they would suffer great persecution.
He followed this warning by saying not to worry about what you will say when you are brought before
governors and kings, for your Heavenly Father will speak through you by the Holy Spirit. That passage
is not saying that we will miraculously know scripture that we havent studied when we stand before a
class.
The Bible teaches quite the opposite. Proverbs 16:1 says, The preparations of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. Time to study is the responsibility of a teacher. We
are to prepare our heart by conforming to Christ and knowing the word. Understanding the message
will come from God. It is a serious matter to teach or to preach. The book of James warns us not to
seek to be a teacher for we shall receive a stricter judgment. Teaching is a calling of God; we dont
determine that by our own purposes. It is a serious matter because if we teach error, we affect many
people and lead others toward or away from Gods purpose. God has given us various gifts and
different styles. How we teach should match the gifts and talents God has given us, and study prepares
our heart for the task.
One thing about teaching that I believe to be important, our goal is not to teach people what to think,
but how to think. Our calling is to point people to Christ and encourage them to have a personal
relationship with Him. Many times we teach tradition as though it were scripture. Many teachers
mistake dogma as boldness. To boldly stand on Gods word does not mean I stab my flag on top of the
hill and criticize those who dont agree with everything I say. We should welcome criticism if it is
productive. The Apostle Paul praised the Bereans for listening to his teaching, but questioning it against
the scripture. If I am not confident that I am rightly dividing the word of truth, then I will fear and react
harshly to criticism. The Bible tells us to be ready for criticism. 1 Peter 3:15
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone
who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.
Notice the key phrases here: be ready; give a defense; asks a reason; hope in you; meekness; fear. We
are to be ready for the question. That does not mean that we know all the answers, but if we are
teaching something, we must have a scriptural basis for our belief. Not only using a passage, but
understanding how it fits into the whole word of God. You can teach almost anything if you take it out
of context or remove it from the setting for which it was intended. Meekness and fear are often pushed
aside when we have a passion to persuade someone to our point of view. We should not make ourselves
into martyrs, nor are we condemning those who question us. On the non-essentials, sometimes we may
agree to disagree. I have seen people attack others when their doctrine was questioned. The Bible
praises those who question doctrine and commands teachers to prepare to give an answer when we are

questioned. A teacher who gets into the boss mode is missing the purpose of teaching and shows a
need for spiritual maturity.
We should not teach people only what doctrine to believe, but how to think for and study for
themselves. People should be encouraged to compare and question. Otherwise, if someone comes along
with a compelling argument, people who lack the ability to critically examine the word will be led
astray. Today we see this as a growing problem. People will take anything fed to them if it is presented
with charisma and a claim of authority. The word of God holds authority over any teacher, preacher or
self-proclaimed prophet. Anyone who teaches anything contrary to the scripture is in error. Paul put it
in a very stern warning:
Galatians 1
8 But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have
preached to you, let him be accursed.
9 As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than
what you have received, let him be accursed.
The Bible couldnt make it any clearer. Even if the apostles that God revealed the holy scriptures to
would be cursed by God if they should deliver another gospel contrary to what has been delivered. The
word translated into cursed is the Greek word anathema. Literally translated this word means
cursed by God without hope of being redeemed; appointed to destruction; doomed.
Those under this curse of God will do anything to prevent scripture from revealing the truth of their
false doctrines. Cults keep people in bondage by fear and threatening people to damnation. I listened to
on TV Evangelist proclaim a curse on any man or woman that dares to speak anything against his
ministry or doctrine. However, the scripture clearly tells us to love our enemies, be ready to give an
answer and to bless and not to curse our adversary. This often repeated curse is in direct violation of the
teachings of Jesus and the apostles. That alone should make people question many teachers.
It is because of this failure to fulfill Jesus command of discipleship that crowds flock to the very
teaching the scripture warns us over and over to keep watch for and stand against. It is not enough to
teach people the scripture, we must teach people to think and examine scripture and all doctrine in light
of scripture. To teach knowledge without understanding is no better than ignorance. That is why I
believe it is so important to present the scripture as a whole. God has painted a picture of understanding
that we will miss if we hover only around our favorite verses. The teaching principle of discipleship
should be to impart critical thinking skills along with knowledge and understanding. 1 John 2:27 says,
But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone
teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and
just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.
Is this saying there is no need for teaching? Of course not. Otherwise we would not see the commands
to teach and preach the word. If you look at the passage in context, it is discernment for truth and
abiding in Him. We all have the Spirit of God within us. If we abide in Him, He teaches us. It is true
that we dont need someone to intermediate between us and the scriptures, but we also benefit from
those who are gifted in teaching. Part of teaching is pointing people to this principle of discerning all
things according to the scripture and by the power of the Holy Spirit. We who are in Christ, have the
Holy Spirit within us and we are commanded to study scripture and find out what is true and what is a
lie. You cant teach discernment in the classroom. You can only use teaching or discipleship training to
encourage others to pursue an abiding relationship with Christ and use His word to measure truth.
3. Mentorship for Service
This is where the Timothy Principle comes in. My ministry is not what I do, but who I can equip. I
can only teach a handful of people in my lifetime. But if I equip others to go out and do, then it truly

becomes Gods ministry. Ronald Reagan had a plaque on his desk that said, There is no limit to what
you can accomplish when you dont care who gets the credit. That should be the motto of the church.
This idea was taught in scripture long before it ever hit a plaque. Jesus taught that our works should not
be broadcast. If we get the praise of men, we already have our reward, but if God sees our deeds in
secret, He will reward us openly. I would much rather have Gods reward than credit from man.
The ultimate goal of mentor discipleship is to give our ministry away. We see leaders jealously guard
their position because they forget that it doesnt belong to them, but has been entrusted to them by God
for His glory. If God exalts someone over me or raises up someone who takes my place, that is His
will. If I fight against God, what value does my position hold outside of Gods plan? How do I know
that God isnt raising up someone because he has bigger plans for me? Even if God doesnt, the greater
benefit is not the position I hold, but the fruit God produces through my life for His eternal purposes.
What could be greater than to be chosen by God to touch someones life that will go where you cannot
go and do what you cannot do? Who led Billy Graham to Christ? Consider this chain of Gods
providential events:
A layman by the name of Edward Kimball led Dwight L. Moody to Christ. Dwight went on to be one
of the greatest preachers of modern history. It was D.L. Moody that impacted F.B. Meyer and Meyer
touched Wilbur Chapman. Chapman partnered with Billy Sunday and Billy Sunday had a major impact
on Mordacai Ham. Mordacai Ham felt like a failure in his ministry and decided to quit. He felt
burdened to do one more revival circuit. A sixteen year old boy with little interest in the revival was
persuaded to go on one of the last days. That boy was named Billy Graham.
How many people would know who Mordacai Ham is? For that matter, how many people have ever
heard of Edward Kimball? Did God use Edward Kimball to reach the masses? I guess it depends on
how you look at it. God produced the fruit of his obedient labor. Edward Kimball is as much of an heir
to the fruit God produced as D.L. Moody and Billy Graham are. God is not interested in what you can
do. God is interested in your obedience and faithfulness. How effective would Paul have been if he
continued to be the leader of every church he founded? The entire world has benefited from the fact
that the Apostle Paul did not care about being in charge. He cared about spreading the gospel and
equipping others to take over the churches he founded. That is mentorship. It is not what I can do, but
being faithful to pass on the vision God has given me. The results belong to God, but the obedience
belongs to me. Mentorship doesnt begin until after the relationship has been established. Even if
someone is ready to be mentored, the relationship is still the foundation that mentorship must be built
on. As God raises up leaders, mentorship is born. We dont seek people to mentor; God calls future
leaders and brings others into the vision that God has given. More times than not, mentorship is sought
by the one being mentored and not by the mentor himself.
As we follow Christ and are faithful to the vision God has given, God will bring others into our life.
Mentorship may be as simple as teaching others how to fit into support for a ministry or as detailed as
training those who will be the leaders that God will call us to give charge over our ministry. Leadership
is taking ownership of the ministry God has given me. That is true for personal or for organizational
ministry. I take my ministry, nurture it and develop it. I reach out to others who show the same desires
and I mentor them to either take the ministry or go out and replant the ministry. God decides which
direction we should take. A mentor is not the boss, but the servant. That has always been Jesus model
of leadership. With a servants heart we lift others higher than ourselves and toward Gods call.
Unfortunately, human nature teaches us to climb over others and use them as steps to accomplish our
goals. Spiritual leadership is always to lift others above ourselves and to serve others as though we are
serving God. When leadership becomes status, we are no longer in the spiritual domain, but the worldly
domain.

When we are going where God is going, He will send us people with the same heart, vision and
principles. If the first two principles of discipleship have not been established (relationship and
teaching), new leadership will not have the maturity to handle the vision. Leaders will be intimidated
by rising leaders and envy and jealousy will follow. I have seen pastors try to destroy people that God
has sent. Instead of a God-sized ministry, the ministry struggles and begins to fall apart. I believe that
God is patient and always gives us the opportunity to repent, but God will abandon a ministry that loses
its Christ-centered focus. Apparently God is more willing to allow embarrassment to the church than
tolerance to hypocrisy.
When I talk of taking ownership, I do not mean possessiveness. I mean that I take what God has
entrusted to me and am faithful until He calls me to release it to those He has sent and equipped for my
ministry. I dont drop ministry and let it die, but through prayer, and the three principles of discipleship,
I give it away as God leads faithful leaders to me. A pastor may not be able to give his pastorate away,
but he can faithfully equip others and pass on his God-given vision. A pastor can equip and give most
positions away if he is equipping others as God has commanded.
Eddie Snipes
Exchanged Life Outreach
http://www.exchangedlife.com