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By TIM F IRTH

Music and Lyrics by MADNESS

LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK

Josef Weinberger Limited


12 - 14 Mortimer Street
London W1T 3JJ
Tel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 9616
general.info@jwmail.co.uk www.josef-weinberger.com

OUR HOUSE
Book Copyright 2009 by Tim Firth
Edition Copyright 2009 by Josef Weinberger Limited, London
All Rights Reserved
For individual song copyright details, see appendix.
PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL

Applications to perform this musical must be made,


BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to:
JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED
12 - 14 Mortimer Street
London W1T 3JJ
United Kingdom
Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827
Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616
www.josef-weinberger.com

September 2009

by TIM FIRTH
Music and Lyrics by MADNESS
Directed by Matthew Warchus
Choreographed by Peter Darling

Orchestrations by Steve Sidwell


Musical Supervisor, Vocal Arrangements and Additional Material: Phil Bateman
World Premiere Performance 28th October 2002, Cambridge Theatre

CAST

2003 WEST END PRODUCTION

2008 UK TOUR

Michael Jibson

Chris Carswell

Julia Gay

Miria Parvin

Ian Reddington

Steve Brookstein

KATH CASEY

Lesley Nichol

Gwyneth Strong

LEWIS

Oliver Jackson

Jack Shalloo

EMMO

Richard Frame

Michael Everest

BILLIE

Tameka Empson

Jenny Fitzpatrick

ANGIE

Andrea Francis

Sophia Nomvete

REECEY

Matt Cross

Sam Mackay

MR PRESSMAN

Mike Scott

Trevor Jary

JOE CASEY
SARAH
JOE'S DAD

iii

iv

Production Notes by
TIM FIRTH
The main challenge of this musical is of course that it is two musicals. The story splits early
on to follow the two paths which Joe Caseys life could have followed pending a fateful
decision he makes on the night of his sixteenth birthday.
The ways of representing those two paths lie at the creative heart of any production. The
transfers between the black and the white world increase in speed and require increasing
levels of ingenuity. After the experience of two productions, in the West End and then on
tour, the main piece of advice I can offer is this: people are primarily interested in other
people. The audience watch the cast far more than they watch the set, and three walls
turning from black to white to represent the switch from Good Joes story to Bad Joes
story is never going to be as effective as the actor himself simply changing the colour, say, of
a baseball hat from black to white.
The musical travels through a young mans life from the age of sixteen to his early twenties.
As such it visits many locations. The emphasis here once again needs to be on ingenuity
rather than expense. The cast should be gamefully employed furnishing and creating the
many stations passed through en route from terraced houses to penthouses, shops, pubs,
schools, car showrooms, even Egyptian-themed hotels in Las Vegas. When writing Our
House I deliberately wrote the impossible in the belief that the more you ask from creative
people, the more you get. The bigger the challenge, the more people rise to it.
v

It is worth remembering that even though in larger scale productions we had a real car and
cinematic projection and a whole host of other treats, the two things the audience rose to
salute at the end of each show came absolutely for free; ingenuity and energy.
Get these and you are ninety percent of the way to building Our House.

THE PRINCIPAL CAST Thumbnails


JOE sixteen, rough diamond but a diamond nonetheless.
SARAH girl next door, slightly more middle-class background.
EMMO and LEWIS Joes best mates, loosely related to him and taken in by Joes Mum.
The former is a big kid who would chase sticks if you threw them, the latter a more
sensitive lad with a more exposed moral nerve.
BILLIE and ANGIE Sarahs best mates, sharp-tongued and sassy with their eyes on a way
out of their lowly social beginnings. Intolerant of males, except well-bred ones.
JOES MUM, KATH beaten down by life but never beaten, a heart the size of a house with
a huge, feisty love for her family.
JOES DAD a man of fun and spirit who married the right woman but took the wrong.
path in life, died as a result, and is now desperate for his son not to repeat the pattern.
REECEY a smiling, charming, superficially likeable force of darkness.
MISTER PRESSMAN like Reecey, except middle-aged and in control of a large company.
THE OTHER CHARACTERS schoolkids, relatives, barristers, clowns, dogs, prisoners,
market traders etc are many in number and can be played by a cast of infinite size. One
joy of Our House is that it is hard to conceive of a cast shape in which everyone doesnt at
some point have their moment.

vi

THE BAND
TENOR SAXOPHONE dbl. Flute / Clarinet
TRUMPET dbl. Flugelhorn / Tambourine
KEYBOARD 1 (Musical Director)
KEYBOARD 2
GUITAR
BASS
DRUMS

Notes on the music by


PHIL BATEMAN (MUSICAL DIRECTOR)
In the West End the band for Our House had 9 players:
3 keyboards, guitar, bass, drums, tenor sax (doubling flute and clarinet for underscore),
trumpet and violin.
I would imagine the minimum for a production would be 4 - comprising keyboards, guitar,
bass and drums. If you can add a 'dirty' sax and even trumpet you'll really be able to
achieve that authentic Madness sound.
Ideally when singing, the actors should try to achieve a 'sung-spoken' quality. The
ensemble numbers should sit somewhere between musical theatre and the gusto of a rugby
crowd! I hope you have as much fun singing these great songs as we did when we put the
show together enjoy!

vii

MUSICAL NUMBERS
ACT ONE
1.

Opening (Instrumental) .....................................................................1

1a.

Los Palmas Seven (Underscore) (Instrumental)...................................1

2.

Our House (Priest, Joe, Emmo, Lewis, Casey St. Residents) .................3

2a.

Our House Playoff (Instrumental)......................................................9

2b.

Balcony Underscore (Instrumental) ..................................................11

3.

Simple Equation (Dad) ...................................................................11

4.

My Girl (Emmo, Bad Joe, Lewis) .....................................................14

4a.

Simple Equation Reprise (Dad) ...................................................18

4b.

Magistrates Court (All I Wanted / My Girl) (Kath, Dad, Lads).......19

5.

Baggy Trousers (Reecey, Schoolkids, Mr Jesmond, Bad Joe).................22

5a.

Simple Equation Reprise (Dad) ...................................................26

6.

Embarrassment
(Careers Officer, Reecey, Billie, Angie, Emmo, Neighbours, Lewis,
Aunt, Uncle, Security Guards, Kath, Grandad, Good Joe) ..................29

6a.

Embarrassment Playoff (Instrumental) ............................................32

6b.

Baggy Trousers Underscore (Instrumental) ......................................34

7.

Embarrassment Reprise (Encouragement Version)


(Bad Joe, Heather, Sales Reps, London Alarms Boss,) ..........................35

7a.

Baggy Trousers / Our House Underscore (Instrumental)..................37

8.

Driving In My Car (Good Joe, Lewis, Emmo, Billie, Angie, Sarah) ....39

8a-I.

My Girl Reprise (Ballad Version) (Sarah, Dad).............................43

8a-II.

Driving In My Car Reprise (Dad, Bad Joe, Salesman)....................43

8b.

After Driving In My Car (Instrumental)...........................................45

8c.

Simple Equation Reprise (Dad, Chorus)........................................47

9.

The Return Of The Los Palmas Seven (Instrumental) ......................50

10.

Shut Up (Reecey, Coppers, Good Joe ) ................................................52

11.

Tormorrows Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain


(Prisoners, Good Joe, Girls Chorus, Bad Joe, Sarah) ............................56
viii

ACT TWO
12.

Night Boat To Cairo (Dad) ............................................................60

12a.

Night Boat (Vegas Underscore) (Instrumental) ................................61

13.

Wings Of A Dove (Carib Combo, Billie, Angie, All) ........................62

14.

One Better Day (Dad, Good Joe, Chorus, Kath) ...............................64

14a.

Our House Reprise (Good Joe, Dad) ............................................67

15.

Rise And Fall (Good Joe, Chorus) .....................................................67

16.

House Of Fun / Rise And Fall / My Girl


(Bad Joe, Julie, Good Joe, Mr. Pressman, Chorus) ..............................68

16a.

Scene Change (Underscore) (Instrumental) .....................................72

17.

N.W.5 (Sarah, Dad, Chorus) ...........................................................75

17a.

Embarrassment Reprise (Law Firm)


(Clerk, Barrister, Good Joe, Harper, Smith, Massey,
Harrassed Small-Time Lawyer.) .......................................................77

17b.

Underscore (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation)


(Sarah, Dad, Chorus) .......................................................................81

18.

It Must Be Love (Sarah, Good Joe) ..................................................84

19.

The Sun And The Rain Reprise (Stallholders)


(Good Joe, Bad Joe, Stallholders, Chorus) ..........................................86

19a.

Simple Equation (Reprise) (Dad, Bad Joe) ......................................92

20.

Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise) (Dad, Good Joe, Company) ....93

21.

Bows (Company) .............................................................................97

22.

Encore / Play Out (Company) .........................................................97

ix

OUR HOUSE

OUR HOUSE
ACT ONE
MUSIC NO 1: OPENING
(Turns into . . . )
MUSIC NO 1a: LOS PALMAS SEVEN (Underscore)
SCENE Raise curtain to see: A STAGE lit by a GLITTER BALL in which there are MANY
COUPLES DANCING. We gradually isolate and spot, in the middle of this, two people far FAR
less adept than the others, falling about, having the laugh of their lives.
DAD

(calls) Leg! Leg! TURN! NOW! (etc.)

KATH

What? How!? (As he steers her.) Whoa!

DAD

Ive told you! KEEP IT STEADY! THIS IS THE SIMPLEST DANCE IN


THE UNIVERSE!
(What theyre doing isnt exactly dancing, more staggering with panache. After
only a few further steps, she trips and falls into his arms in fits of laughter. With
theatrical aplomb, DAD lets her fall back like in some classy fandango.)

KATH

Listen, will you just stop it! Ive got something to tell you!

DAD

(tries to carry on, laughing) It cant be more important than this!

KATH

It is! It is! STOP! (Holds him at arms length.) Yr going to be a dad.


(A moment of wonder. DAD lets her stand as though shes porcelain.)

DAD

Yr kidding. (In wonder.) An its definitely mine?

KATH

(deadpan) Its either yours or Clint Eastwoods.

OUR HOUSE

DAD

Oh God. Oh wow. (With rapture.) We might be having Clint Eastwoods


baby!

KATH

(hits him) Oi! So are you gonna ask me to marry y, then or what?
(Pause. Then DAD smiles.)

DAD

You betcha.
(Fireworks go up behind them as we hear . . . )

MAESTRO
(V.O.)

Ladeeeez and gennulmen. The winnerz of our dance contest. Our King and
Queen-n . . .
(The SPOTLIGHT strafes the dancers . . . )

MAESTRO
(V.O. Contd)

The greatest dancers in the world on Margate pier tonight . . . couple


number-r-r fifteen!
(They look at each other, fall about laughing as A PHOTOGRAPHER takes a
photo. They strike a comic pose for it. The flash cues a sudden light change . . . )

JOE (O.S.)

MUM!
(Music ends . . . as KATHs DAYDREAM ENDS and JOE CASEY appears all
in the same beat - raggy school uniform, sixteen, rough diamond. But a diamond
nonetheless.)

JOE

Ha hey-y!
(He is on high octane, rushes on, grabs mum and dances a few steps with her,
just like DAD did. Singing his own accompaniment . . . ) La da di dah-dahdahh . . .
(DAD backs off and watches. At this point we dont know he cannot see DAD.)

KATH

Here he is, the birthday boy!

OUR HOUSE

JOE

Ive got something to tell y!


(He puts MUM in exactly the same fandango position as DAD did.)

KATH

WHOA!

JOE

She said - YES!

KATH

Oh did she now! And have you checked that I approve of this girl?

JOE

Shes coming - on a DATE!

KATH

This the wonderful Sarah?

JOE

(suddenly serious) Hey you dont think its like charity? Like shes only
agreed cause its my sixteenth birthday?

KATH

Shes agreed, Joe Casey, because any girld be mad not to. (Strokes his hair.)
And you take her dancing. Thats what your dad did with me.

JOE

(change of mood, loses all thought of dancing) Yeah well. Not sure following in
me Dads footsteps is exactly a good start, do you?

KATH

(straightens his hair) Eh, he was alright, yr dad. He was just a good man who
made a few bad choices.

JOE

(straightens hers back) Its not hard to make the right choices, Mum. Theres
a wrong way and a right way. Its a pretty simple equation.
(There is a DOORBELL.)

MUSIC NO 2: OUR HOUSE


JOE

Now if youll excuse me, Ive got about ten minutes before Sarah arrives . . .
(Starts to take tie off.) . . . so I hope youve not arranged for anyone to call
round?

KATH

Now would I arrange that? For my son? On his sixteenth birthday?


(The PRIEST is at the door with a present.)

OUR HOUSE

PRIEST

Happy Birthday Joe!

JOE

(wry smile) FATHER WEARS HIS SUNDAY BEST.

KATH

Oh now look whos turned up.

JOE

(trying to steer her and the PRIEST away)


MOTHERS TIRED, SHE NEEDS A REST
THE KIDS ARE PLAYING UP DOWNSTAIRS.
(A SKATEBOARDER razzes past.)

KATH

(to SKATEBOARDER) Oi!

PRIEST

(ushering in a NUN) SISTERS SIGHING IN HER SLEEP.

NUN

I remember him when he was this little . . .

JOE

(himself) BROTHERS GOT A DATE TO KEEP


HE CANT HANG AROUND.
(JOE opens the door to find EMMO and LEWIS there with PRESENTS.)

EMMO + LEWIS HAHAEYYY!


OUR HOUSE
JOE

(sighs) Emmo. Lewis.

EMMO + LEWIS IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET


OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
(EMMO and LEWIS re-open the door almost instantaneously to reveal a whole
party of people who keep flooding in. In this melee, did we but realise, DAD has
been lost totally. JOE is trying to get out, but everyone is keeping him in!)
EVERYONE

Ha hey!

JOE

OUR HOUSE IT HAS A CROWD.


THERES ALWAYS SOMETHING HAPPENING
AND ITS USUALLY QUITE LOUD.
OUR MUM, SHES SO HOUSE-PROUD.

OUR HOUSE

KATH

Meaning what?

EMMO + LEWIS (arm round her)


NOTHING EVER SLOWS HER DOWN
AND A MESS IS NOT ALLOWED.
KATH

Dead right.

EVERYONE

OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET


OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
(Underscore continues.)

KATH

Ill give you house proud. You spread word round Camden that this street
is a no-go zone for any of them scummy drug dealers.

LADS

(stand to attention) Yes.

KATH

This is not just any street.

LADS

No.

KATH

This is Casey Street.

LADS

Yes!

KATH

NW 1.

LADS

Yes!

KATH

No-one touches that name.

EVERYONE

OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET


OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF
NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR
NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR

OUR HOUSE

(CASEY STREET INHABITANTS join in the dance, which is urban, informal


and comic.)
CASEY STREET
INHABITANTS NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA
AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH
NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA
AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH
NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA
AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH
NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA
AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH
EVERYONE

NANA NANA NANA NAA


NANA NANA NANA NAA
NA NA NA NA-NA
NA NA NA NA-NA
NA NA
NA-NA NA NA NA
NANA NANA NANA NAA
NANA NANA NANA NAA
NA NA NA NA-NA
NA NA NA NA-NA
NA NA
NA-NA NA NA NAAAAA
(Very spare percussive underscore.)

JOE

Okay. She must be coming. These are her mates.


(Enter BILLIE and ANGIE in their customised school uniforms.)

LEWIS

(arms wide like a gigolo) Ha heyyy! Billie and Angie Morton!


(BILLIE and ANGIE pose the same . . . )

BILLIE / ANGIE Ha heyyy! Tall and ugly bastard. (They beckon in . . .) Sarah?
(SARAH bounds in . . .)

OUR HOUSE

SARAH

Hey Joe!
( . . . but is steered away by BILLIE and ANGIE)

ANGIE

(swerves SARAH away from JOE) Right. One little word of warning.

BILLIE

How can we put this?

ANGIE

We deserve a man with prospects.

BILLIE

Were not gonna find any round here.

ANGIE

We MIGHT if YOU get to university.

BILLIE

You wont get to university if youre six months up the duff.

SARAH

(is handed a bag) Whats that?

ANGIE

The Femsafe Femidom.

BILLIE

Its like having sex with an Asda bag, but its okay.

SARAH

(did his mum hear?) Girls!


(Meanwhile EMMO and LEWIS have got JOE similarly to one side . . . )

LEWIS

As like adopted brothers we felt a certain responsibility, it being your


sixteenth birthday an all that.

EMMO

(produces it) We have bought you the worlds CLASSIEST condom!

JOE

(did mum hear?) Lads?

LEWIS

Its called The Surprise Harmony.

EMMO

It is the princess of condoms.

JOE

Is it luminous?

EMMO

No.

OUR HOUSE

JOE

Colour?

EMMO

Normal.

JOE

Flavour?

EMMO

None.

JOE

(s.v.) Right. (Puts it in pocket.) Whys it called The Surprise Harmony ?

EMMO

When you reach orgasm it plays The Power Of Love.

JOE

WHAT?

EVERYONE

OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR OUR HOUSE
IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR -

EVERYONE
(Contd)

EVERYONE
(Contd)

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN


WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN, NOW IVE COME OF AGE
WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN
TEMPTATIONS ON ITS WAY
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN.
NOW YOUVE COME OF AGE
WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE

OUR HOUSE

IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP


OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE
SARAH

Sixteen, Joe! Where dyou go when you can go anywhere?

JOE

(points at her) Somewhere very special!

EVERYONE

. . . IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET!

MUSIC NO 2a: OUR HOUSE PLAYOFF

SCENE PENTHOUSE FLAT


A STORM breaks. Thunder and lightening. A door has a HUGE HAMMERING noise at the
other side of it. We wonder what the hell is going on until BANG it falls flat, knocked off its
hinges by . . . JOE!
JOE

Quick! Out of the rain! Out of the rain!


(SARAH peeps round the door.)

JOE (Contd)

(meaning the rain) Bleargh. Where did THAT all come from?

SARAH

(hushed whisper) JOE!

JOE

Storm came out of . . . (Gestures.) Come in-n!

SARAH

You just broke in!

JOE

I didnt break I just (Looks at door hanging off.) itd just swelled with
the rain. Look at . . . (Pulls out his wallet.) Oh god. My wallet! My trousers
are SOAKED.

OUR HOUSE

SARAH

You cant just (Frowns.) Whats that noise? Can you hear something? Can
you hear The Power Of Love?
(Pause. We can indeed hear the tinny single line of The Power Of Love. JOE
immediately realises where its coming from and puts his hand in his back
pocket.)

JOE

Anyway. This is what I wanted to show you. (He throws the condom away
over the drop.)

SARAH

Yve caused real damage here, Joe.

JOE

(cocky) Dont worry. I dont bruise easy. I work out quite a lot, so . . .

SARAH

I mean the door! This is breaking and entry . . .

JOE

No-ones rented these flats yet.

SARAH

(going, but unsure) But they still belong to someone. They still belong to
whoever . . . (Looks round.) Pressman Developers.

JOE

I know. Like everything round here suddenly. Well I tell you what. You
wanna see some REAL builders? (Nods out over the view.) Why I brought
you up here. My mums family built that.
(SARAH looks at him.)

JOE (Contd)

The whole estate. My great-great-grandad was a gang leader building the


Irish Estate, so good they named a street after him. Casey Street. (Slight
pause.) Theres even some story Mum goes on about that they gave him the
house, yknow. Our house. See? With the red door?
(Beat.)

SARAH

I thought you were taking me somewhere very special.


(Theres a pause. JOE looks down.)

10

OUR HOUSE

JOE

Your mates think Im gonna end up like me dad, dont they? I suppose
theyve told y?

SARAH

(they have) He went to prison.

JOE

(nods, wry smile) Thought they would. (A beat.) Yeah he went to prison. Lost
his job. Started . . . making bad choices, went to prison . . . then when he
came out of prison he never came home.

SARAH

Where is he now?

MUSIC NO 2b: BALCONY UNDERSCORE


(DAD appears.)
SARAH

Joe?

JOE

He died.

SARAH

(beat) How?

JOE

A loser and a scumbag, Sarah. Thats how.


(Music ends.)

SARAH

(moves in on JOE) You know where Im gonna end up, Joe Casey? Im
gonna go into law. An you know why? Because regardless of what people
tell me I reckon Im a pretty good judge of character.
(There is the sound of truncheon on scaffold.)

VOICE (O.S.)

This is the Police!

MUSIC NO 3: SIMPLE EQUATION


(A torchlight starts to rake the balcony.)
SARAH

Oh my God.

11

OUR HOUSE

VOICE (O.S.)

Is someone in there?

SARAH

Joe I wont get into law at ALL if I get arrested.

VOICE (O.S.)

Oi!

SARAH

Thatll be the END! I wont be able to, ever! What are we gonna do?

JOE

Run. Wed probably never get found out!

SARAH

But if we did, Joe! IF WE DID . . . ?

VOICE

WHOS IN THERE?
(He pushes SARAH back to the door he barged down. She resists.)

JOE

Okay, YOU go.

SARAH

JOE!

JOE

RUN!

SARAH

But what are YOU going to do, Joe Casey?


(At that point the stage FILLS with rotating doors, black to white to black to
white . . . )

DAD

What are you going to do, Joe Casey?


(JOE is wracked. He pushes SARAH out.)

JOE

GO!

DAD

Golden boy?
(Those doors keep gyrating, like a representation of the options whirling in the
mind of this sixteen year old. Suddenly the space becomes ethereal, otherworldly.)

12

OUR HOUSE

DAD

Run and make the escape of a criminal?


(He stops a SINGLE BLACK DOOR gyrating and presents it as an option.)

DAD

Stay and surrender like an honest man?


(He stops a SINGLE WHITE DOOR gyrating and presents that as a contrary
option. DAD is so close he can practically touch his son and we can see he is
drawn to do that.)

DAD

Its not hard to make the right choices, Mum. Theres a wrong way and a
right way. Its a pretty simple equation!
(DAD slams the two contrasting doors together, and with a crack of lightening,
they touch . . . and JOE splits in two, one JOE in white - GOOD JOE - and one
in black - BAD JOE.)

DAD

ITS THE SIMPLE EQUATION OF WRONG VERSUS RIGHT


PROBLEM AS EASY AS BLACK VERSUS WHITE
THE SIMPLE EQUATION OF NIGHT VERSUS DAY
FACING THE MUSIC, OR RUNNING AWAY . . .
(The BLACK JOE bursts through the black door. All the doors, currently a
mixture of black and white, ARE TURNED TO BLACK, so we are now in a
BLACK WORLD.)

DAD

(+ B.V.)

CAUSE WITHOUT LOW THERE IS NO HIGH


IF NOTHING FELL THERED BE NO SKY
IS IT ALWAYS SO VERY CLEAR?
ITS THE DAYS THAT SEPARATE THE NIGHT
THE SHADOWS BY WHICH WE RECOGNISE THE LIGHT.
(Music ends. BAD JOE stands panting, regaining his breath as SARAH appears
slowly, dreadfully, dress torn, face cut, holding her arm.)

BAD JOE

We did it! We got away. HA! WE DID A RUNNER AND WE GOT


(He sees the damage. Pause.) Oh God. Are you Okay? (He goes to tend to her.
She backs off.) What?

13

OUR HOUSE

SARAH

I cant believe you did that. I cant believe you ran away. I thought I knew
you. I dont know you at all, do I?

BAD JOE

We didnt get caught. Its not like we got caught. We . . .

SARAH

(indicating her ripped blazer) A policeman did that, Joe. Thats how close I was.
You probably didnt notice. You were fifty metres across the building site.
(SARAH starts to go . . . )

BAD JOE

Sarah . . . I
(. . . then turns.)

SARAH

Actually maybe Im not cut out for law. Maybe Im not such a good judge of
character.

MUSIC NO 4: MY GIRL
BAD JOE

Sarah? Sarah! (He races off.)

SCENE IRISH THEME PUB, CAMDEN


EMMO is revealed, pissed, at a table loaded with whiskies.
EMMO

MY GIRLS MAD AT ME.


I DIDNT WANT TO SEE THE FILM TONIGHT.
I FOUND IT HARD TO SAY.
SHE THOUGHT ID HAD ENOUGH OF HER.
WHY CANT SHE SEE.
SHES LOVELY TO ME?
BUT I LIKE TO STAY IN AND WATCH TV ON MY OWN
EVERY NOW AND THEN.
(BAD JOE enters the pub. He is in his black track suit and cap.)

EMMO (Contd) Alright Joe?

14

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

MY GIRLS MAD AT ME
BEEN ON THE TELEPHONE FOR AN HOUR
WE HARDLY SAID A WORD
I TRIED AND TRIED BUT I COULD NOT BE HEARD.
WHY CANT I EXPLAIN?

EMMO

WHY CANT SHE SEE?

BAD JOE

WHY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN?

EMMO

SHES LOVELY TO ME
BUT I LIKE TO STAY IN

BAD JOE

SHE DOESNT UNDERSTAND

EMMO

AND WATCH TV ON MY OWN

BAD JOE

SHE TAKES IT ALL THE WRONG . . .


(In bursts LEWIS.)

LEWIS

Wahey! How y doing laddos? (Sits.) Bloody hell. I tell y . . . (Breathes in.) . . .
MY GIRL (Music breaks.)

BAD JOE
+ EMMO

Doesnt exist.

LEWIS

Fair point. (Music resumes.) Pint of lager, Dave. So how come yr not out
with whats her face?

EMMO

(shut up) Nggrshttup.

BAD JOE

Because shes not my girl anymore, is she?

LEWIS

Eh?

EMMO

She should be his girl but . . . (shes )

15

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

She should be, . . . (but shes )

EMMO

Shes mad at him.

LEWIS

Really?

BAD JOE

WE TALKED AND TALKED UNTIL IT WAS LIGHT . . .

EMMO

Gets to like where he thinks its agreed an all . . .

BAD JOE

I THOUGHT WED AGREED.

EMMO

He thought theyd talked over it all. An then goes an says that

BAD JOE

I THOUGHT WED TALKED IT OUT.

EMMO

Course now when he tries . . . (to say anything at all about the whole )

BAD JOE

NOW WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK . . .

EMMO

She sort of says

BAD JOE

I DONT CARE.

EMMO

She says . . . (hes . . .)

BAD JOE

IM UNAWARE

EMMO

And now . . . (she says hes . . .)

BAD JOE

SHE SAYS IM WEAK.


(EMMO and LEWIS wince.)

BARTENDER
DAVE

Alright lads. Yve had enough.

EMMO

Ive not.

16

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

Im fine.

LEWIS

Ive only had one whisky.


(They all get off their barstools . . .)

BAD JOE /
EMMO / LEWIS Hurp.
( . . . And realise they ARE pissed. In trying to get up they end up choreographed.)
(Music continues DANCE OF THE PISSED)

SCENE CAMDEN CANAL


They end up in the moonlight in a shabby parade of male bonding.
LADS

LA LA LA LAAAAA
NA NA NA NA NA NAAAA . . .
LA LA LA LA LA LAAA
NA NA NAAA
NA NA NAAA
NA NA NAAA-AAA . . .
(BAD JOE, EMMO and LEWIS collapse on each other.)

LEWIS

At the end of the day who needs women? I dont.

BAD JOE

Lewis, you dont need women in the same way someone whos never had a
chocolate biscuit doesnt need a chocolate biscuit.

EMMO

I love chocolate biscuits.


(BAD JOE eases himself up . . . )

BAD JOE

WHY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN?


(Underscore carries the tune.)

17

OUR HOUSE

SHE DOESNT UNDERSTAND


SHE DOESNT REALISE
SHE TAKES IT ALL . . .
(DAD appears again.)
DAD

THE WRONG . . .

MUSIC NO 4a: SIMPLE EQUATION - REPRISE


. . . WAY
(A thundercrack, and gradually that etheral, cloud-sculling, otherwordly space
returns. The stage is filled with rotating doors which not only clear BAD JOE,
EMMO and LEWIS, but return us to the exact same point we were in the
Penthouse Flat, at the exact same moment of split.)
SCENE PENTHOUSE FLAT
DAD

ITS THE SIMPLE EQUATION, LIKE NIGHT VERSUS DAY?


OF OWNING UP NEATLY, OR RUNNING AWAY?
SO WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, THAT CAMDEN TOWN
NIGHT
IF GOLDEN BOY JOE TOOK THE PATH THAT SEEMED RIGHT?
(This time the WHITE JOE, now known as GOOD JOE, animates and goes
through the white door. The mixed doors are suddenly all turned to white. We
are now in the WHITE WORLD.)

DAD

CAUSE WITHOUT LOVE THERE IS NO HIGH


WITHOUT LOVE NO STARS NO SKY
WILL THIS RISE WHERE THAT ONE FELL
IS IT SO HARD TO TELL?
(The music is cut abruptly short by the strike of the MAGISTRATES gavel . . . )

SCENE MAGISTRATES COURT


MAGISTRATE

(hits gavel) Quiet please.

18

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

JOES
SOLICITOR

MAGISTRATE

COUNCIL
SOLICITOR

Your honour, I did break into the flat but I didnt nick any stuff, I was just
to be honest I was trying to impress my girlfriend by showing her you
see actually it is quite interesting my family BUILT the Irish estate
(shutting him up) My client then showed admirable moral fibre in staying to
give himself up, in light of which we plead for leniency.
Right. Well. I will consider that plea, provided there are no further
submissions?

There is an additional submission in this case. The council are aware that
Pressman Developments Ltd is failing to secure any purchasers for their
Camden Quays developments and feel that criminal activity, however
petty, is contributing towards a general sense of urban malaise. As a result
they are urging local magistrates to hand down short custodial sentences . . .

MUSIC NO 4b: MAGISTRATES COURT ALL I WANTED / MY GIRL


DAD

(seems surprised) Custodial?

GOOD JOE

Custodial? You mean like . . . prison?

SCENE YOUNG OFFENDERS INSTITUTE


Enter a very cheery YOUTH CUSTODY OFFICER.
YOUTH CUSTODY
OFFICER
No no no no no, we dont use the P word, Mrs Casey.
(Clunk. GOOD JOE is suddenly at a table. KATH is led to the table as if at
visiting.)
YOUTH CUSTODY
OFFICER
This is a correctional facility. We really believe in building up a positive
self-image with our young clients. If they see themselves as criminals at the
age of sixteen then thats how the rest of society will see them. We want to
send them out of here saying (cheerily) My names Joe Casey, ex-young
offender, wiser, stonger, prouder!

19

OUR HOUSE

KATH

(hugging him) Ohhhh baby.

YOUTH CUSTODY
OFFICER
(sudden change of tone) That doesnt mean youre allowed to touch him.
(KATH cant even hug him, and has to defy all her instincts to move away.)
KATH

I did bring you a cake but they wouldnt let me in with it. (Pause.) They let
other mothers in with theirs, they just said mine was too crap.
(GOOD JOE smiles.)

GOOD JOE

Hi, mum.
(Underscore continues. A beat. KATH looks across at the son she cant touch.)

KATH

Youll do right. You will do right, golden boy, Joe Casey, you are. (Smiles.)
And Im not the only girl in Camden who thinks that.

GOOD JOE

Were sixteen, Mum. This is the summer they always go on about. (Slight
pause.) Sarah would be mad to wait.
(Times up. They are parted by the staff and GOOD JOE is led off.)

KATH

ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD

DAD

ANOTHER LOOK, A MOMENT MORE

KATH

ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD

DAD

A CHANCE TO ASK WHAT IS THIS FOR?


(DAD starts the doors spinning again.)

KATH

ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD

DAD

WHEN BOTH THE WRONG PATH AND THE RIGHT

KATH

ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD

20

OUR HOUSE

DAD

LEAVE HIM LONELY IN THE NIGHT


(We are now BACK in the BLACK WORLD, where we were before, with BAD
JOE, EMMO and LEWIS. Music continues.)

SCENE CAMDEN CANAL


BAD JOE

WHY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN?


(Underscore carries the tune).

BAD JOE
(Contd)

SHE DOESNT UNDERSTAND


SHE DOESNT REALISE
SHE TAKES IT ALL THE WRONG (WAY . . . )

REECEY (O.S.) Well well well.


(REECEY appears in the shadows.)
EMMO

Oh God. Its Reecey.

LEWIS

Alright, mate?

REECEY

(smiles) Good night girls.

EMMO

Absolutely. Come on big man.


(EMMO scoops LEWIS off. REECEY gestures BAD JOE to stay behind. He does so.)

BAD JOE

Alright, Reecey.

REECEY

Dont cry over spilt women, mate. Plenty of fish in the sea. (Smiles.) Yll
always get something after yr tackle.
(Pause.)

REECEY

Billie and Angie said you got into one of the new flats up Camden Quays.

21

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

Oh well. That. Wwwwell I . . . sort of

REECEY

Very impressive. (He stalks BAD JOE, smiling all the time.) Ever thought of
the future, Joby?

BAD JOE

What, you mean like . . . after exams?


(REECEY laughs, then checks himself. Pulls a serious face.)

BAD JOE

What?

REECEY

(stalks him) Sorry. I mean, sure. You COULD do exams. (Walks round.)
Alternatively you could come work with me. Im starting up a little business
venture.

BAD JOE

You mean . . . leave school early?

REECEY

Men of sixteen, now mate. Everythings legal. (Arm round BAD JOE.)
Youve seen what them penthouses are like now, Joe. Next time you walk
into one, own it. (A beat.) No-one ever made money workin for someone
else, Joe Casey. If I were you Id forget exams. An tell myself that as of
today . . . schools out! (He reaches up and ever so casually taps a school bell
with his fingers. It forms the bell-intro to:)

MUSIC NO 5: BAGGY TROUSERS


(Two SCHOOLGIRLS rush in to get REECEY to sign their shirts.)
SCHOOLGIRL 1 Ree-ecey!
SCHOOLGIRL 2 Sign me shirt. Sign me shirt!
REECEY

NAUGHTY BOYS IN NASTY SCHOOLS


HEADMASTERS BREAKING ALL THE RULES
HAVING FUN AND PLAYING FOOLS
SMASHING UP THE WOODWORK TOOLS.
ALL THE TEACHERS IN THE PUB
PASSING ROUND THE READY RUB
TRYING NOT TO THINK OF WHEN THE
LUNCHTIME BELL WILL RING AGAIN.

22

OUR HOUSE

OH WHAT FUN WE HAD


BUT DID IT REALLY TURN OUT BAD?
ALL I LEARNT AT SCHOOL WAS HOW TO BEND NOT BREAK
THE RULE
+ SCHOOLKIDS OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD
TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO
THE DAYS.
REECEY

THE HEADMASTERS HAD ENOUGH TODAY

MR JESMOND ALL THE KIDS HAVE GONE AWAY


GONE TO FIGHT WITH NEXT DOORS SCHOOL
REECEY

(shrugs) EVERY TERM THAT IS THE RULE.

GANG

SITS ALONE AND BENDS HIS CANE


SAME OLD BACKSIDES AGAIN

REECEY

ALL THE SMALL ONES TELL TALL TALES


WALKING HOME AN SQUASHING SNAILS.
OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT DID IT REALLY TURN OUT BAD
ALL I LEARNT AT SCHOOL WAS HOW TO BEND NOT BREAK
THE RULE.

SCHOOLKIDS

OH WHAT FUN WE HAD


BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD
TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS
TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE DAYS.
(MR JESMOND enters and the desks swing to him. A fag packet is thrown into
the desk.)

MR JESMOND The last day of school is in so many ways the first day of the rest of your life.
(Under . . . ) And here Id urge you to remember the prospects that . . .

23

OUR HOUSE

SCHOOLKIDS

(counting the clock down) EIGHT. SEVEN. SIX. FIVE. FOUR, THREE,
TWO, ONE . . .
( . . . the bell goes . . . )

MASSED
SCHOOLKIDS

(strike the pose) FREEDOM-M!


(Music continues THE DANCE OF THE LAST DAY AT SCHOOL)

SCHOOLKIDS

LOTS OF GIRLS AND LOTS OF BOYS


LOTS OF SMELLS AND LOTS OF NOISE
PLAYING FOOTBALL IN THE PARK
KICKING PUSHBIKES AFTER DARK.
BAGGY TROUSERS, DIRTY SHIRTS
PULLING HAIR AND EATING DIRT
TEACHER COMES TO BREAK IT UP
BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A PLASTIC CUP.
(Everyone goes angelic. White light.)

SCHOOLKIDS
(Contd)

(hands together, choir-like) OH WHAT FUN WE HAD


BUT DID IT REALLY TURN OUT BAD
ALL I LEARNT AT SCHOOL
WAS HOW TO BEND NOT BREAK THE RULE.
(Normal music returns.)

SCHOOLKIDS
(Contd)

OH WHAT FUN WE HAD


BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD.
TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE
(Dance Break.)

SCHOOLKIDS
(Contd)

OH WHAT FUN WE HAD


BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD

24

OUR HOUSE

TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS


TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE
REECEY

WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN,


TEMPTATIONS ON HIS WAY
WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN,
TEMPTATIONS ON HIS WAY . . .

+ BAD JOE

WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN,


TEMPTATIONS ON HIS WAY
WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN,
TEMPTATIONS ON HIS WAY . . .

+ SCHOOLKIDS (2)
BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS.
BAGGY TROUSERS. TEMPTATIONS ON HIS WAY
BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS
BAGGY TROUSERS. TEMPTATIONS ON HIS WAY
+ SCHOOLKIDS (3)
(Contd)
SCHOOLS OUT
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
SCHOOLS OUT
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
ALL

(rising) WOH-H-H-H-H
HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!
OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD
TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS
TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS.
BAGGY TROUSERS.
NA NA NA NA-A-A-A
W-OI!
(A tableau centred round BAD JOE and REECEY, arms round each other.)

25

OUR HOUSE

SCENE RAYS CAR PARLOUR


MUSIC NO 5a: SIMPLE EQUATION (Reprise)
(DAD enters with bunting.)
DAD

(colla voce) ITS A SIMPLE EQUATION YOU GOTTA EXPECT


(Whilst doing this, DAD sets up some car showroom bunting, and as he does, sets
the doors to spin . . . spin . . . spin and all TURN TO WHITE. DAD now
controls all we see. And we are now in the GOOD JOE story.)
CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTES MAKE YOU CORRECT.
SURELY YOURE GOING TO EMERGE IN A WORLD
WHERE YOURE ON THE RIGHT PATH - RIGHT MATES . . .
RIGHT GIRL?
(On come EMMO and LEWIS in brightly-coloured jump suits. Music ends.)

EMMO

This is NUTS. This is just - why the hell are we at work on the day Joe gets
out?

LEWIS

Well largely because todays also our first day in this job, and thats not a
great day to take a sickie.
(A shark con man of 43, RAY, comes on.)

RAY

(in one breath) Right. The art of car-washing is a much maligned and
underestimated art, theres far more to it than sloshing water on, waxing the
bonnet and rubbing tyre-black on the wheels Im lying of course, theres the
water, the wax an the tyre black, off y go.
(RAY goes straight off again.)

LEWIS

Told y there wouldnt be a long training period.

EMMO

He hasnt even asked about me GCSE results. I mean I could be anyone. I


could just run off with this bucket.

26

OUR HOUSE

(Theres a car honk-k the other side. They look . . . )


EMMO

Ohhhh my Goddd its not, please tell me its not-t-t . . .


(REECEY strides across the stage.)

REECEY

Alright girls?

EMMO
+ LEWIS

(immediately try to be cool) Alright Reecey.


(REECEY gets and takes a phone call . . . )

BILLIE

(entering) Well well well.

ANGIE

Its the water monkeys.

EMMO

(s.v.) Why dyou bring Reecey here to get his car washed?

LEWIS

That is so unfair. You knew it was our first day.

ANGIE

No we didnt.

BILLIE

Did we?

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

Oh no, we did.
(SARAH rushes in, dragging GOOD JOE).

SARAH

GUYS, GUYS! Look whos back!

EMMO
+ LEWIS

Heyy-y!
(EMMO and LEWIS run towards him, then remember theyre blokes and shake
his hand.)

BILLIE

Well well.

27

OUR HOUSE

ANGIE

So Joe. How was prison?

SARAH

It wasnt prison. It was a Young Offenders Institute.

BILLIE

Right. (Nods to ANGIE.) Starter Prison.

EMMO

Hey yeah. Dy get beat up with socks full of snooker balls, an is there like
one bloke who gets stuff sent in from outside an you all have to give him a
bit of your chocolate and his cells got a carpet and all the warders are nicer
to him an hes called like King or something?

GOOD JOE

No.

EMMO

(genuinely disappointed) Shame.

GOOD JOE

You learn things, mate. Thats what its like.

ANGIE

(archly) Oo really? You did exams?

GOOD JOE

(patiently) Ydont have to have exams to do every job in the world, do y?

BILLIE

Thats true.

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

(gestures EMMO and LEWIS) Ta-da-a-a!

LEWIS

(points) Hey yeah! We could have a word with Ray!

EMMO

(cockily) Yeah, see the art of car-washing is a much maligned art . . .

REECEY

Alternatively
(They all turn as REECEY swaggers forwards, pocketing his phone.)
. . . he could come and work with me. (Smiles.) As it happens Im starting
up a little business venture.

GOOD JOE

Its . . . okay, Reecey. Im not getting into any of that. (To the others.) See,
what they teach y in there is pride. (Grandly.) So ycan come out an stand
in front the world and say Hey. (Gestures himself.) My names Joe Casey.
Ex-young offender. Take me or leave me!

28

OUR HOUSE

SCENE CAREERS OFFICE


MUSIC NO 6: EMBARRASSMENT
(REECEY theatrically reveals an Employment Office worker, the CAREERS
OFFICER.)
CAREERS
OFFICER

RECEIVED A LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY.

GOOD JOE

Here we go!

REECEY

(takes letter, in mock surprise)


DONT SEEM THEY WANNA KNOW YOU NO MORE.

GOOD JOE

Ywhat?

REECEY

THEY LAID IT DOWN GIVING YOU THEIR SCORE


WITHIN THE FIRST TWO LINES IT BLUNTLY READ . . .
(He rather cockily passes it to ANGIE).

ANGIE

(takes it and reads) YOURE NOT TO COME SEE US NO MORE.

BILLIE

KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

GOOD JOE

DONT COME ROUND HERE NO MORE.


WHAT ON EARTH DID Y DO THAT FOR?
Eh?

SCENE CASEY STREET


EMMO

(indicates door opening)


OUR AUNT SHE DONT WANNA KNOW, SHE SAYS . . .

AUNT

(opens door on . . . )
WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBOURS THINK? THEYLL THINK . . .

29

OUR HOUSE

NEIGHBOURS WE DONT.
AUNT

THATS WHAT THEYLL THINK

NEIGHBOURS WE DONT.
AUNT

BUT I WILL, CAUSE I KNOW THEY THINK I DONT.


(LEWIS opens a door on a SHABBY SLOB OF AN UNCLE drinking beer in his
vest, scratching his bollocks.)

LEWIS

OUR UNCLE HE DONT WANNA KNOW, HE SAYS

SHABBY
UNCLE

WE ARE A DISGRACE TO THE HUMAN RACE . . .

LEWIS

HE SAYS . . .

SHABBY
UNCLE

HOW CAN YOU SHOW YOUR FACE


WHEN YOURE A DISGRACE TO THE HUMAN RACE?
(Underscore continues. SARAH pep-talks GOOD JOE as a MAN IN A DOG
COSTUME appears at a desk.)

SARAH

Go on. Best of luck. Keep smiling. (She kisses him and goes.)

DOG MAN

Joe, seriously its great youre interested in being a shelf stacker here at
Oscars Toy Farm. You think youd fit in?

GOOD JOE

Oh definitely. I love this kind of environment.

DOG MAN

Great!

GOOD JOE

I love kids. Ive got enormous commitment.

DOG MAN

Hoo hoo!
(Underscore stops.)

30

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

(ebulliently) Im also very proud to stand here in front of you and say that
Im a reformed young offender.
(Pause. The DOGS ears shoot up. Two SECURITY GUARDS burst in.)

SECURITY
GUARDS

GOOD JOE
SECURITY
GUARDS

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

NO COMMITMENT, YOURE AN EMBARRASSMENT


YES AN EMBARRASSMENT, A LIVING ENDORSEMENT.
Get off, just

THE INTENTION THAT YOU HAVE BOOKED


WAS AN INTENTION THAT WAS OVERLOOKED.
THEY SAY STAY AWAY
DONT WANT YOU HOME TODAY
KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR
DONT COME ROUND HERE NO MORE.
(KATH appears.)

KATH

OUR DAD DONT WANNA KNOW, HE SAYS . . .

GRANDAD

THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER.

GOOD JOE

Grandad? Come on mate

GRANDAD

TOO LATE TO RECONSIDER


NO-ONES GONNA WANNA KNOW Y.

GOOD JOE

(goes to his mum) OUR MUM (she . . . )


(EMMO and LEWIS intercede.)

EMMO

SHE DONT WANNA KNOW, SHE SAYS . . .

LEWIS

IM FEELING TWICE AS OLD, SHE SAYS . . .

31

OUR HOUSE

EMMO
EMMO
+ LEWIS

THOUGHT SHE HAD HER HEAD ON HER SHOULDER

CAUSE IM FEELING TWICE AS OLDER


IM FEELING TWICE AS OLDER
(SARAH pep-talks GOOD JOE as a MAN IN A CLOWN COSTUME walks in
and sits at a desk.)

SARAH

Right you bloody knock em dead. At least this time yr not gonna be
interviewed by a dog.

CLOWN

Okay so then, Mister Casey, what makes you think youd make a good
waiter here at The International House Of Waffles?

GOOD JOE

Well I love meeting people, Im very hard-working and Im quick to learn.

CLOWN

(ticks, nods) Uh-huh.


(Underscore stops.)

GOOD JOE

Im also very proud to sit here and say that Im a reformed young offender.
(The CLOWN looks up, suddenly rigid. The top of his hat flips back on a hinge
with a spring sound and a banana on a spring shoots out.)

EVERYONE

YOURE AN EMBARRASSMENT.
Blackout.

SCENE SUBURBAN HOUSE


MUSIC NO 6a: EMBARRASSMENT Playoff
DAD sets the doors spinning . . . spinning . . . and stops them on black. We are now in the
BAD JOE story. Out of this blackness appears PRESSMAN, a seemingly avuncular businessman. A
businesswoman, HEATHER, walks on. Underscore ends.)

32

OUR HOUSE

HEATHER

Oh Mister Pressman?

DAD

This is where you have to watch out now, Joe.

HEATHER

Mister Pressman!

DAD

Some people in the dark half of this world dont look half as dark as they
are. Some look nice as pie.
(PRESSMAN turns, nice as pie.)

PRESSMAN

Heather-r!

HEATHER

If youd like to meet . . . this is the Sales Manager for London Alarms.
(BAD JOE walks on, looking a million dollars, relatively. Well groomed, hair
slicked back, black suit.)

BAD JOE

Caseys the name. Joe Casey.

PRESSMAN

Good God. Hardly looks old enough to be a manager.

BAD JOE

No, well. To be honest I left school early to start this company. A friend and
I decided the world of business seemed exciting, we were sixteen and . . .
why wait?

PRESSMAN

(smiles, nods) Is that right. (A beat.) Well I didnt stay at school either,
Mister Casey. It never did me any harm. Fair play to y. (His mobile rings.)
Ill leave you in the very capable hands of Heather who deals with all my
property.

HEATHER

Okay, goodbye, Mister Pressman.

BAD JOE

(points) Sorry is that . . . ? Are these . . . (houses) . . . ? Pressman as in . . .


that you see up on cranes?

HEATHER

As in Pressman Developments.

BAD JOE

Wow. Is he moving here?

33

OUR HOUSE

HEATHER

No, no, this ones actually a birthday present hes bought for his secretary.

BAD JOE

He buys houses for his staff?

HEATHER

(a beat, then wryly) It usually buys him something back.

BAD JOE

(beat) Anyway. Ive been er all round the property and I have to say the
existing alarm layout is pretty sufficient.

HEATHER

Really?

BAD JOE

Absolutely. The only loophole is (Checks clipboard.) that one single unalarmed downstairs window. But the chances of anyone discovering that are
very slight.

MUSIC NO 6b: BAGGY TROUSERS (Underscore)


HEATHER

Right.

BAD JOE

Or the fact the utility room has no alarm sensor.

HEATHER

No.

BAD JOE

Or the fact that theres a slight weakness in . . .


(BAD JOE walks from one scene into . . . )

SCENE THE IRISH THEME PUB


( . . . the pub where waits REECEY.)
BAD JOE

. . . the existing alarm layout where someones put a stud wall in front of the
infra red, allowing un-monitored access into the lounge and garage.
(REECEY stands, putting some gloves on.)

REECEY

Cheers mate. Told y this little business idead work.


(REECEY leaves past EMMO and LEWIS, who pile in.)

34

OUR HOUSE

REECEY

Night, girls.

LEWIS

What the hell are you doing?

EMMO

I thought you didnt want to end up housebreaking like yr dad. (Underscore ends.)

JOE

(fingers to lips) Ap ap ap!


(BAD JOE produces letter.)

MUSIC NO 7: EMBARRASSMENT (Reprise Encouragement Version)


BAD JOE

RECEIVED A LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY.

HEATHER

WEVE HAD SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT ALARM SYSTEM.


WE HAD A MINOR BREAK IN THURSDAY NIGHT. SO ER . . .
PERHAPS YOU MIGHT LIKE TO GIVE US A QUOTE FOR . . . (The
alarms?)

BAD JOE

Here we go boys!
(The BOSS OF LONDON ALARMS enters with some ceremony.)
(Similarly-clad SALES REPS pile in.)

SALES REPS

OOO AHH, etc.

LONDON
ALARMS BOSS HERE HE IS. THE RISING STAR JOE CASEY.
AS DISTRICT MANAGER HERE AT LONDON ALARMS LET ME
CONGRATULATE YOU ON THESE JANUARY SALES FIGURES
FOURTEEN IS A COMPANY RECORD.
JOE

This isnt crime! This is enterprise culture!

SALES REPS

OOO AHH, etc.


HES AN ENCOURAGEMENT,
A LIVING ENDORSEMENT.
THE PROMISE THAT HE HAS SHOWN,
THIS IS THE START OF A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP.

35

OUR HOUSE

(Dance break, ending with . . .)


SALES REPS

OOO AHH, etc.


HES AN ENCOURAGEMENT,
OOO AHH.
(DAD executes a magical switch from the hugely successful BAD JOE into . . . )

SCENE WEST END STREET


. . . GOOD JOE, standing dully on a street corner with a sign saying GOLF SALE, with a
large arrow, on his head. We are now in the WHITE WORLD.
BILLIE
+ ANGIE

Joe Caseyy-y!

GOOD JOE

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God oh God. (Tries to be super-casual.) Billie. Angie. Hi.


(A beat.)

BILLIE

(coolly) Joe, look I know this sounds crazy, but I really fancy some tartan
trousers. (Looks round.) Dyou have any idea round here where I might be
able to get some?

GOOD JOE

(deadpan) Very good.

ANGIE

So after the unique feat of getting turned down for a job by a dog and a
clown, this is the job you told everyone you got in marketing?

GOOD JOE

Girls . . .

BILLIE

Wouldnt it be terrible if Sarah found out the terrible tartan truth.

GOOD JOE

(quickly) Dont tell her.

BILLIE

Especially nows shes at college.

GOOD JOE

Dont tell her.

36

OUR HOUSE

ANGIE

Whole new social circle. Mixing with all those high-rollers.

BILLIE

Like Callum, for instance, whose father owns a distillery.

GOOD JOE

(pause) Who?

ANGIE

Mind you, sayin that, Billie, it does seem for the first time Joe Caseys got a
real direction in life.

BILLIE
+ ANGIE
GOOD JOE

(deadpan, flatly) Wa hey.


Look Im trying to earn a quick bit of cash so I can do something for Sarahs
birthday.
(REECEY emerges, smoking.)

ANGIE

Hey well itd better be good, I tell y. Shes used to better things now.

GOOD JOE

If university was that glamorous she wouldnt be working weekends in a bar.


(BILLIE and ANGIE have gone, leaving REECEY in the shadows.)

BILLIE +
ANGIE (V.O.) (dully) Whatever.
REECEY

Hey Jo jo.
(GOOD JOE doesnt answer.)

MUSIC NO 7a: BAGGY TROUSERS / OUR HOUSE (Underscore)


REECEY
(Contd)

So tell me. How much have ygot to impress this girl?

GOOD JOE

Its not impressing. Its more . . . what Im doing is . . . is . . . (Pause,


quieter.) Eighty quid.

REECEY

(swallows) See that lovely little convertible Jaguar?

37

OUR HOUSE

(GOOD JOE peers.)


REECEY
(Contd)

Eighty quid, ycan borrow that for the day.

GOOD JOE

Is it yours?

REECEY

No. (Smiles.) But what a difference two minutes would make.


(He turns to GOOD JOE. He beams.)

REECEY
(Contd)

(tantalisingly) Vrum-vrooom.

GOOD JOE

Its okay, Reecey. Im not getting into all that. (Music pauses.) But you have
given us an idea. (Races off, turns.) This is gonna be the most brilliant
birthday present ever.

REECEY

(calls after him) Ywant a car, mate, Im telling y. Nothing impresses a


woman like cars. (Slight pause.) Except honesty. An personally Ive always
found cars easier. (Music begins again.)

SCENE CASEY STREET


Underscore continues. SARAH bounces out to that expectant underscore expecting a picnic,
all dressed in summer gear, shades, croptops, cans of lager.
SARAH

Her-r-r-e we go! One o Clock, corner of Casey Street Come on-n-n . . .


( . . . followed by a cynical, arms-folded BILLIE and ANGIE.)

BILLIE

Let me tell you, this is going to be your most disappointing birthday ever.

SARAH

Shut it-t . . .

ANGIE

You shouldve stayed at university and invited us to a massive party.

SARAH

Girls.

ANGIE
+ BILLIE

(immediate false grins) All smiles.

38

OUR HOUSE

ANGIE

Were here.

BILLIE

Ready for the spectacle.

ANGIE
+ BILLIE

Bring it on.
(A battered old Morris Minor coupe appears. Driving it is GOOD JOE with his
arms wide. EMMO and LEWIS in the back.)

GOOD JOE

Ha-hey!

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

Goodbye.

MUSIC NO 8: DRIVING IN MY CAR


SARAH

Get back here. Get back here! This is fantastic.


(SARAH bundles the protesting BILLIE and ANGIE into the car.)

GOOD JOE

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

IVE BEEN DRIVING IN MY CAR.


ITS NOT QUITE A JAGUAR.
(look at him, deadpan) You dont say.

GOOD JOE

I BOUGHT IT IN PRIMROSE HILL


FROM A BLOKE FROM BRAZIL.

LEWIS

Eighty quid.

ANGIE

That much?

GOOD JOE

IT WAS MADE IN FIFTY-NINE.

BILLIE

That new?

GOOD JOE

IN A FACTORY BY THE TYNE.

39

OUR HOUSE

ANGIE

Oh my God. Its Northern.

LEWIS

IT SAYS MORRIS ON THE DOOR


THE GPO OWNED IT BEFORE.

GOOD JOE

I DRIVE IN IT FOR MY JOB


THE GUVNOR CALLS ME A SLOB
BUT I DONT REALLY CARE.

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

You should.

GOOD JOE

GIVE ME SOME GAS AND THE OPEN AIR.

EMMO

Here we go-o-o-o-o . . . .
(All in, they set off. Wind blows their hair.)

GOOD JOE

EMMO
+ LEWIS
GOOD JOE,
EMMO
+ LEWIS

ITS A BIT OLD BUT ITS MINE.


I MEND IT IN MY SPARE TIME.
JUST LAST WEEK I CHANGED THE OIL
THE ROCKER VALVES AND THE COIL.
(nods) JUST LAST WEEK HE CHANGED THE OIL.

LAST WEEK IT WENT ROUND THE CLOCK


I ALSO HAD A LITTLE KNOCK.

GOOD JOE

I DENTED SOMEBODYS FENDER.

EMMO
+ LEWIS

HE LEARNED NOT TO PARK ON A BENDER.

BILLIE

HA HA (To ANGIE.) Get out.

40

OUR HOUSE

(Choreography of SARAH, loving it, preventing BILLIE and ANGIE from


leaving . . . )
LEWIS

You cant get out, its moving!

EMMO

(points) Tunnel!

ANGIE

What?

EVERYONE

Tunn-nelllll!!!
( . . . as the car goes into a tunnel, then onto a rollercoaster, into the sky . . . )

GOOD JOE

IVE BEEN DRIVING IN MY CAR


IT DONT LOOK MUCH, BUT IVE BEEN FAR.
I DRIVE UP TO MUSWELL HILL
IVE EVEN BEEN TO SELSEY BILL.
I DROVE ALONG THE A45
I HAD HER UP TO FIFTY EIGHT.
( . . . becomes the prow of the Titanic . . .
. . . battles through Star Wars . . .
. . . then back to earth.)

GOOD JOE
+ SARAH

I LIKE DRIVING IN MY CAR

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

HE LIKES DRIVING IN HIS CAR

GOOD JOE
+ SARAH

DONT LOOK MUCH BUT IVE BEEN FAR

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

DONT LOOK MUCH. Full stop.


(Much bickering and squawking to a final apocalyptic . . . )

GOOD JOE

(triumphantly) GOD I LOVE THIS CAR! (Music ends.)

41

OUR HOUSE

(Theres a bang from the engine. A thin Wile E. Coyote of smoke rises. The sisters
climb out as EMMO and LEWIS start to push it back.)
LEWIS

(gesturing for help) Emmo?

BILLIE

Anyway Sarah . . . (Deep breath.) . . .

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

(sing) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY . . .

SARAH

Its STILL a great birthday!

EMMO

(pushing) We can push it back!

BILLIE

(going) Sorry. Dont do push.

ANGIE

(into mobile, going) Reecey. Guess whats happened.

EMMO

(pushing it away) Just get it up on the verge an we can call someone out.

LEWIS

(helping) Yeah what, like a priest?

SARAH

This is such . . . (Kisses him.) mmm! You know why I love that car? Because
it is so Joe Casey. It is just so you. Its just the . . .

GOOD JOE

(half smile) Its an embarrassment.

SARAH

(takes a beat, tries again) Listen Joe. At Christmas, at university they have
this big massive ball, this charity ball where everyone has to dress up in big
frocks and the blokes wear dinner jackets and Im on the organising
committee so I get two free tickets!

GOOD JOE

Sarah, I have to tell you the job I have in marketing is standing on a street
corner with a sign saying golf sale on my head.

SARAH

Right. (Swallows, pause.) Well I could hire a dinner suit for you!

GOOD JOE

(strokes her hair back) Its okay.

42

OUR HOUSE

SARAH

Serious. Now Ive got this weekend job in a bar on the Embankment. I
dont mind paying for you to . . .

GOOD JOE

Sarah. I dont want charity.


(He turns and goes.)

MUSIC NO 8a - I: MY GIRL Reprise (Ballad Version)


SARAH

WHY CANT I EXPLAIN?


(Underscore takes the line: Why do I feel this pain?)

SARAH
(Contd)

EVERYTHING I SAY HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND


HE DOESNT REALISE
HE TAKES IT ALL . . .
(DAD enters, turning all the doors to black. We are now in the BLACK
WORLD and in a showroom.)

SCENE JAGUAR SHOWROOM


SARAH
+ DAD

. . . THE WRONG WAY.

MUSIC NO 8a - II: DRIVING IN MY CAR Reprise (Big Band Version)


(BAD JOE, sharp as a knife, gelled-back hair, is shown his car by a POSH
SALESMAN as DAD sings.)
DAD

HES BEEN DRIVING IN HIS CAR.

SALESMAN

Here we are sir, I think youll like this one, its a twin carb four litre petrolengined . . .

DAD

(looks over JOEs shoulder at the spec.) IT IS INDEED A JAGUAR

43

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

IT SAYS V8 ON THE DOOR.


FINISH, TRIM . . .

DAD

. . . AND A CORRIDOR.

SALESMAN

CLIMATE-CONTROLLED AUTOMATICLY.

BAD JOE

Very nice. Veryyyy nice!


(Music breaks.)

SCENE CASEY STREET


BAD JOE

Its a great day mum!

KATH

Oh look at YOU! My God, will you look at this SUIT!

BAD JOE

I dont sell alarms anymore. Im like me great grandad. Yve got another
builder in the family now!

KATH

(reads card) Casey Properties.

BAD JOE

(chucks her cheek) Promise you mum, itll be massive one day. Itll be up
there on cranes like Pressmans.

KATH

Youre a developer?

BAD JOE

(slight pebble in shoe) Builder. Developer.

KATH

Does that mean Ill get to see even less of you?

BAD JOE

I promise you mum, youll be proud of that name.

KATH

I am already.

BAD JOE

Not only that . . .

KATH

I said, I am al - . . .

44

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

Ive set Emmo and Lewis up in a limousine business!

SCENE RIVERSIDE COCKTAIL BAR


(Drum roll and cymbal crash.)
EMMO +
LEWIS (O.S.)

Ladies and Gentlemen-n-n-n . . .

BAD JOE

(points) I give yo-o-ou . . . !


(EMMO and LEWIS swagger out, wearing chic light grey chauffeur outfits.)

EMMO
+ LEWIS

(no accompaniment) WEVE BEEN DRIVING IN OUR CAR

BAD JOE

Hahahahaheyyyy! (Points.) Whats it got, boys?

EMMO
+ LEWIS

FISH TANK AND A CINEMA.

MUSIC NO 8b: AFTER DRIVING IN MY CAR (Cocktail Piano)


BAD JOE

Tell me everything.

KATH

(leaving unmarked by JOE) Ill see y then.

EMMO

It is the biggest car . . .

KATH

Joe?
(BAD JOE sits at a table, all smiles to his mates. His mum just leaves.)

LEWIS

Five point eight litre. Genuine USA Left hand drive . . .

EMMO

It is the biggest car . . .

LEWIS

Twenty eight thousand miles, only ever driven in California . . .

45

OUR HOUSE

EMMO

It is the biggest car . . .

BAD JOE

Its a big car, is it Emmo?

EMMO

It is the biggest . . . (car . . . )

LEWIS

(shushes EMMO, quieter tone) Listen, Joe, I have to ask. All this money. The
limo, the money thats paid for the limo . . .

BAD JOE

(to avoid GIRLS hearing) Guys guys guys. The alarm scam just got me the
money to set up legit. I will never need to deal with scumbags like Reecey
again in my life.
(The waitress turns up in a chic cocktail waitress outfit. Its SARAH.)

SARAH

(writing in pad) Yes, gentlemen. What can I get you?

EMMO

(privately to LEWIS) God, she is a dead ringer for that girl we knew at school.

SARAH

(hearing it) It is me. Hello Emmo.

EMMO

Hey. (Points to his hat.) Surely what you mean is Hello E, of E and L
Limousines.

SARAH

(coolly) What a brilliant name.

EMMO

It stands for . . .

SARAH

I know what it stands for.

LEWIS

Were an investment of a young businessman.


(EMMO gives SARAH the business card.)

SARAH

So. Joe Casey getting into property. I seem to remember he was doing that
the last time we met. Cocktails?

BAD JOE

(gently) Please tell me you went to university.

46

OUR HOUSE

SARAH

Can I take your order?

EMMO

Hey. Whats it like, university? Is it like everyone just has sex with everyone
else like just all the time?

SARAH

You do jobs at weekends to afford it. Thats what its like. Order?

EMMO

Three of them melon ones.

SARAH

(goes) Thanks.

BAD JOE

Did you have a good birthday?


(Music fades. SARAH stops. And turns.)

SARAH

(pause, s.v.) I was on a committee all day for a charity ball.

BAD JOE

Can anyone come?

SARAH

(beat) Its for charity, Joe. Involves doing things for other people. Depends
if youre into that. (She goes.)

SCENE HAMPSTEAD TERRACE


MUSIC NO 8c: SIMPLE EQUATION Reprise
CHORUS

OOOOO AHHHH . . .
OOOOO AHHHH . . .
(DAD effects a sudden change into the WHITE WORLD, GOOD JOES. But
its eerie, as the night is dark. Things, in fact, seem grey.)

DAD

THE EQUATION STARTS SIMPLE, BUT IN THE LONG RUN . . .


(Beats.)
GETS HARDER TO RECOGNISE RAIN FROM THE SUN
(Beats.)
WRONG TURNING RIGHT . . .
Good turning bad?

47

OUR HOUSE

(One turn reveals the wolf in the woods . . . )


REECEY

Well well well.


(Underscore.)

GOOD JOE

Leave us alone eh, Reecey.

REECEY

Dont turn me away, Jo-jo. Its just a little job. I planned it all nice an
convenient. On your way home from work. Slightly open front window . . .

GOOD JOE

Look I told you Im not getting into any of that.

REECEY

(cuts to the chase) Itd pay for a DJ.


(GOOD JOE doesnt look at him.)

DAD

ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD . . .

REECEY
(Contd)

Not your fault you cant get a job.

DAD

AS YOU STAND WHERE I ONCE STOOD . . .

REECEY
(Contd)

Not your fault your dad doesnt own a distillery.


(GOOD JOES shoulders drop.)

GOOD JOE

What do I have to do?


(REECEY laughs and leads GOOD JOE into temptation . . . )

DAD
+ CHORUS

ITS THE DAYS THAT SEPARATE THE NIGHT.


THE SHADOWS BY WHICH WE RECOGNISE THE LIGHT.

48

OUR HOUSE

(A marquee front drops. Underscore continues.)


SCENE MARQUEE AT SARAHS COLLEGE
In burst BILLIE and ANGIE dressed to the nines in ball dresses.
BILLIE

Oh my God. Finally I start to live.

ANGIE

I am in a ball dress. I am in a university . . .


(SARAH rushes in, wearing a ball dress, with CALLUM, a Scottish student.)

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

Ha heyyy!

SARAH

Billie-e! Oh Callum! Billie and Angie, this is Callum. Organised this with
me.

CALLUM

(shakes) You must be her friends from Camden?

ANGIE

Islington.

BILLIE

Anyway-y. I bet theres some family history behind those trousers, am I


right?
(Huge APPLAUSE).

SARAH

Oh God the bands finished. Can you check the next . . . (band?)

CALLUM

Ill check the band! Yes captain. (Salutes, smiling.) Have a good night, ladies.

BILLIE

(points at CALLUM) Look at that.

SARAH

What?

ANGIE

Not wanting to say I told you so, but just imagine all those years back if
youd ended up going out with Joe Casey and then come to a place like this.

BILLIE

Itd be like being tied to a donkey in a field full of stallions.

49

OUR HOUSE

(The marquee flaps part dramatically to reveal BAD JOE in a DJ).


BAD JOE

(does cuffs, nods) Girls.


(Jaws drop audibly all round.)

BAD JOE
(Contd)

(hands over a cheque) Ydont mind? Ive brought a donation.

BILLIE

(takes it) Casey Properties?

SARAH

(reads it) Joe, you didnt have to do that.

BAD JOE

Yeah well thats the point of charity, isnt it? Besides. Dont want to waste
all these dancing lessons.
(The combo at the ball start playing.)

MUSIC NO 9: THE RETURN OF THE LOS PALMAS SEVEN


(BAD JOE holds his hand out to SARAH.)
SARAH

(shrugs) I cant. Seriously.


(BAD JOE does an okay of the eyes, and turns his hand to invite BILLIE or
ANGIE.)

BAD JOE

Girls?

ANGIE

Alas. Time to go.

BILLIE

Sorry. Dont do dance.


(BAD JOE and SARAH are alone.)

BAD JOE

(smiles) Let me teach you. This is the simplest dance in the universe.
(He starts to teach her, sometimes with audible little instructions, the steps his
DAD danced with KATH.)

50

OUR HOUSE

SARAH

Where did you learn all this?

BAD JOE

Camden International Academy Of Dance.

SARAH

Joe.

BAD JOE

Its above the Electric Rhino Sex Shop.

SARAH

Joe.

BAD JOE

Me mum taught me.


(And as she starts to get it together, the marquee blows away and allows us to
dance past the landmarks of contemporary London . . . the wheel. The dome.
Buckingham Palace . . . )

SCENE PICCADILLY CIRCUS


(SARAH finally stops, and pulls away.)
SARAH

Why did you come tonight?

BAD JOE

Id like to say its cause I support Oxfam.


(SARAH smiles.)

BAD JOE
(Contd)

God yknow I spent so long (Winces.) so many nights, back and back,
going back over that night in Camden Quays. Running away. Putting
myself before you.
(Music ends. Pause. They look at each other.)

BAD JOE
(Contd)

(slight pause) Biggest mistake I ever made.

SARAH

(pause) Yeah. It was. (She looks at him.)

51

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

Yknow sometimes I find myself fantasising I did the right thing that night.
An how brilliant life wouldve turned out.
(A thunderclap and the doors rotate to white. Were snapped into GOOD JOEs
story.)

MUSIC NO 10: SHUT UP


(GOOD JOE and REECEY thunder across the stage with a telly, pursued by
COPPERS.)
COPPER 1

Get the little scumbag!

REECEY

Run Jo-jo!

GOOD JOE

Reeeeceyy!

COPPER 2

Come on son, youre nicked.


(There is a chase.)

COPPER 3

Alright lads. Games up. Ive got him.

SCENE POLICE STATION


POLICE pile in and restrain REECEY and GOOD JOE.
REECEY

I TELL YOU I DIDNT DO IT, CAUSE I WASNT THERE

GOOD JOE

Eh?

REECEY

DONT BLAME ME, IT JUST ISNT FAIR.

GOOD JOE

Reecey?

REECEY

DONT LISTEN TO HIS SIDE, JUST LISTEN TO MINE


CANT THINK OF A STORY, SURE YOULL FIND ME SOMETIME.
NOW PASS THE BLAME AND DONT BLAME ME
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND COUNT TO THREE

52

OUR HOUSE

COPPERS

ONE. TWO. THREE.

REECEY

THEN ILL BE GONE AND YOULL FORGET


THE BROKEN WINDOW, TV SET.

GOOD JOE

IT WASNT ME EITHER, (Nods to REECEY.) IM JUST HIS MATE.

REECEY

Mate? HE TOLD ME TO STAND HERE AND WATCH THE GATE.

GOOD JOE

No, no, no. He told me . . . (that - )

REECEY

IVE GOT A WIFE AND THREE KIDS YOU KNOW

GOOD JOE

No he hasnt. ( . . . He - )

REECEY

THEYLL TELL YOU IM STRAIGHT, AT LEAST I THINK SO.

GOOD JOE

Look officer, IM AS HONEST AS THE DAY IS LONG.

REECEY

(nods knowingly at JOE) Yeah right.


THE LONGER THE DAYLIGHT THE LESS I DO WRONG.

REECEY + JOE NOW PASS THE BLAME AND DONT BLAME ME


JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND COUNT TO THREE
(ONE, TWO, THREE,)
THEN ILL BE GONE AND YOULL FORGET
THE BROKEN WINDOW, TV SET.
ONE, TWO, THREE!
(Underscore.)
EMMO

Joe! Over here!

LEWIS

Were here for y, mate. We called Sarah (and . . . )

GOOD JOE

What?

EMMO

What?

GOOD JOE

You called Sarah?

53

OUR HOUSE

EMMO

Was that wrong?

GOOD JOE

You idiots. You brain dead, stupid . . .


(GOOD JOE flies at EMMO, who cant believe whats happening, like a child.)

LEWIS

Joe!

POLICEMAN

(restraining JOE) Dont push it.


(SARAH flies in, wearing a (different) ball dress with a blokes DJ over it.
STUDENT CALLUM is with her.)

SARAH

Joe! Whats happened?

GOOD JOE

Thanks, guys. Thanks so . . . (much.)

SARAH

They said yd broken into a house.

GOOD JOE

Whos this?

SARAH

What?

EMMO

(wounded to near tears) What did we do?

CALLUM

The names Callum.

LEWIS

(to EMMO) Sokay.

SARAH

They said youd been arrested (breaking into a house - )

CALLUM

(offers to shake) I just came out the ball with her.

SARAH

Why the hell . . . (did - ?)

GOOD JOE

(points at her clothing) Whose jacket?

SARAH

(looks a beat) Forget the jacket. Joe, why were you trying to break into a
house?

54

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

Because we dont all have one of (Nods at CALLUMS jacket.) them lying
about.

SARAH

What?

GOOD JOE

(spoiling for a fight) Nice one, mate. Nice jacket.

SARAH

Oh, hey if I thought, when I had offered to pay . . . (for - )

GOOD JOE

So what, Sarah, so I walk round with (POINTS AT CALLUM) everyone


knowing you paid for your boyfriends clothing . . . (at - )

CALLUM

Whoa.

GOOD JOE

(turns like a rattlesnake) Sorry?

CALLUM

(smiling) I just think she meant . . . (that - )

SARAH

Joe.

EMMO

Joe, Im sorry we called her . . .

GOOD JOE

Sorry, go on. Tell me what my girlfriend meant.

SARAH

Stop it.

POLICEMAN

(pulls GOOD JOE back) Come on, sunshine.

CALLUM

I think Sarah . . . (was trying to be nice - )

GOOD JOE

(points) Dont use that name.

POLICEMAN

Oi.

EMMO

What is happening to you?

LEWIS

(bitterly) Forget it Emmo. Hes not worth it.

CALLUM

(eases SARAH back to safety) Come on, Sarah.

55

OUR HOUSE

(GOOD JOE launches at CALLUM and punches him flying. POLICE pile in.)
SARAH
+ LEWIS

Joe!

GOOD JOE

(to POLICEMAN) Get your hands off . . . (me - )


(GOOD JOE on instinct swings and decks the COPPER, who goes flying. Music
stops abruptly. A moment of silence where everyone just stands and takes stock of
what this act signifies.)

DAD

No, no, no. Dont hit a copper. Never hit a copper!

MUSIC NO 11: TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY / THE SUN AND THE RAIN
(As if in response, a load of PRISONERS appear.)

SCENE PRISON
GOOD JOE

No. Hold on.

PRISONERS

DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO


DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO . . . (x4)
(A prison starts to appear.)

SARAH

No, look, he doesnt belong with these lot! Hes not like them, hes not a
criminal.

COPPER

Oh well now look at this. Hes got form. Been in a correctional facility!

SARAH

Cause he did the right thing! Hes done the right thing all the . . . (way - )

GOOD JOE

I tell you what the right thing wouldve been, Sarah. When I was sixteen to
have never met you.

DAD

He doesnt meant that love.


(Slight pause. SARAH backs away and runs.)

56

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

(instantly) I didnt mean that.

DAD

Love, seriously. He was just trying . . . (to - )

GOOD JOE

I was trying . . . I was just . . . I was just . . .

PRISONERS

TRYING HARD
I THOUGHT ID DONE MY BEST.
ALL MY LIFE
I CANT GET NO REST.
DOWN AND DOWN THERE IS NO UP
I THINK THAT IVE RUN OUT OF LUCK

GOOD JOE

I HEAR THEM SAY

PRISONERS

TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.

GOOD JOE

I HEAR THEM SAY

PRISONERS

AND IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY

GOOD JOE

I HEAR THEM SAY

PRISONERS

TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY


TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
(GOOD JOE gets subsumed into the ranks of Prisoners . . . )

GOOD JOE

WALKING NOW OVER COVERED GROUND


THERE IS A CHANCE IF I MOVE AROUND
I NEED A MOMENT TO REFLECT
ON THE FRIENDSHIPS I HAVE WRECKED . . .

+ PRISONERS

I HEAR THEM SAY


TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
I HEAR THEM SAY
IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY.
I HEAR THEM SAY.
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER . . .

57

OUR HOUSE

DAD

IF BLACK IS WHITE, AN NIGHT IS DAY


AND PATHS WE TAKE STRETCH FAR AWAY
HOW CAN WE EVER HOPE TO CALL
WHICH WILL RISE AND WHICH WILL FALL?

BAD JOE

ITS RAINING AGAIN


(BAD JOE appears magically, the BLACK AND WHITE worlds co-existing!)

BAD JOE
(Contd)

A CRACK IN THE CLOUDS REVEALS BLUE SKIES


IVE BEEN FEELING SO LOW
BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS ON MY SIDE
THE SUN AND THE RAIN
(He puts an arm out.)

BAD JOE
(Contd)

WALK WITH ME, FILL MY HEART AGAIN.


(SARAH, in her ball dress, comes along Albert Bridge to join him. She has his
jacket as an umbrella.)

SARAH
+ BAD JOE

PRISONERS

I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE


I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE
THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN
IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.
I HEAR THEM SAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY
IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
I HEAR THEM SAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY
IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY

58

OUR HOUSE

TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO


DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.
SARAH
+ BAD JOE

PRISONERS

SARAH
+ BAD JOE

PRISONERS

I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE


I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE
THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN
IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY
IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE
I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE
THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN
IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.
I HEAR THEM SAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY
IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.
I HEAR THEM SAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY
IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY
I HEAR THEM SAY
TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER (BAD JOE and SARAH kiss as GOOD JOE appears in prison. Its magical.)

OMNES

TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY.


(Blackout. End of Act One.)

59

OUR HOUSE

ACT TWO

SCENE NORTHERN EGYPT


The sound of a boat horn in the darkness.
MUSIC NO 12: NIGHT BOAT TO CAIRO
VOICE

NIGHT BOAT TO CAIRO-OOOOOOO!


(Mist.The prow of a mysterious and ghostly boat appears, bobbing in the halflight it STOPS THE DOORS ON BLACK were in BAD JOEs story. DAD
is punting. SARAH and BAD JOE are aboard.)

DAD

ITS JUST GONE NOON HALF PAST MONSOON


ON THE BANKS OF THE RIVER NILE
HERE COMES THE BOAT, ONLY HALF AFLOAT
OARSMAN GRINS A TOOTHLESS SMILE.
(We dont not have an effing clue what the hell is happening. We are apparently
in Egypt.)
ONLY JUST ONE MORE TO THIS DESOLATE SHORE
LAST BOAT ALONG THE RIVER NILE
DONT SEEM TO CARE, NO MORE WIND IN HIS HAIR
AS HE REACHES HIS LAST HALF MILE.
THE OAR SNAPS IN HIS HAND BEFORE HE REACHES DRY LAND
BUT THE SOUND DOESNT DAMPEN HIS SMILE
JUST PRODS THE WET SAND WITH AN OAR IN HIS HAND
FLOATS OFF DOWN THE RIVER NILE
FLOATS OFF DOWN THE RIVER NILE.
(Music ends abruptly as JOE and SARAH get out.)

BAD JOE

God I love Las Vegas!


(Music crashes back in as DAD rows off.)

60

OUR HOUSE

MUSIC NO 12a: NIGHT BOAT (Vegas Underscore)


SARAH

Now we have kept this just the two of us, yeah?

BAD JOE

I in a sense.

SARAH

Joe-e . . . ?

BAD JOE

Look, Sarah, I tried. I REALLY tried but she pathologically organises people
to turn up.
(KATH comes in, dressed to the nines.)

KATH

Well bearing in mind this isnt The Church Of The Blessed Virgin and me
wedding car was a flaming gondola, I can only hope that your bridesmaids
are dressed for a good Catholic service.

SARAH

Bridesmaids?
(BILLIE and ANGIE appear in outrageous bridesmaids dresses. SARAH cant
BELIEVE IT - but shes pretty overjoyed to see them!)

BILLIE

OH MY GODDDDDD

ANGIE

OH MY GODDDD. I am in a designer dress. I am in Las Vegas. I have


achieved so much and Im only twenty one.

BILLIE

Best thing is our rooms much bigger than the one they gave his best men!

SARAH

Best men?
(EMMO and LEWIS rush in. Everyone is now 21.)

EMMO

(deadly serious) I have just seen a car . . .

LEWIS

We got rowed . . . to our room.

EMMO

I have just seen a car . . .

LEWIS

We got rowed . . . to our room.

61

OUR HOUSE

EMMO

I have just seen a car so big it can never turn round.

BAD JOE

(hugs SARAH) You know how I promised you a paradise wedding?

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

(arms to heaven!) Honey, you got it!

SCENE A CARIBBEAN ISLAND PARADISE SET IN A HOTEL ROOM


MUSIC NO 13: WINGS OF A DOVE
(A small CARIB COMBO starts to play.)
CARIB COMBO TAKE TIME FOR YOUR PLEASURE
AND LAUGH WITH LOVE
TAKE THE HAND OF ANOTHER
AND SING FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
BILLIE
+ ANGIE

ALL

LOOK UP AT THE ROOFTOPS


WHEN YOURE WALKING ROUND
DONT THINK FOR A MOMENT
OF LOOKING DOWN.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DO-O-O-OVE.
(A couple of well-turned out late middle aged Brits appear. Its MR AND MRS
PRESSMAN. No recognition as yet.)

BAD JOE

Excuse us can you take a photo?

MR PRESSMAN Sure.

62

OUR HOUSE

(He takes it, during which BAD JOE recognises him.)


BAD JOE

Mister Pressman? Isnt it? I sold you a house alarm once.

MR PRESSMAN Really?
BAD JOE

You told me how you hadnt stayed at school either. I even got into property
like you. North London. Took your lead.

MR PRESSMAN Is that right.


BAD JOE

Joe Casey.

MRS PRESSMAN God almighty Colin. Youve got a protegee!


MR PRESSMAN (half smiles) I like that. (Gets out a card.) Im looking for someone in North
London, Joe Casey! (Flicks it.) Call me.
BAD JOE

(beams to SARAH) Could this day get any better?

CARIB COMBO
+ GANG
LOOK UP AT THE ROOFTOPS
WHEN YOURE WALKING ROUND
DONT THINK FOR A MOMENT
OF LOOKING DOWN.
A ROOM AT THE TOP
WHERE WERE NOT ALLOWED
CHEER TO THE ECHO
CAN YOU HEAR THE SOUND?
WOH WOH YEAH YEAH YEAH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH YEAH YEAH YEAH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DO-O-OO-VE.
EVERYONE

YEAH
YEAH YEAH YEAH
YEAH YEAH YEAH
YEAH YEAH YEAH
YEAH YEAH YEAH
YEAH YEAH YEAH
YEAH YEAH YEAH

63

OUR HOUSE

YEAH YEAH YEAH


YEAH YEAH YEAH
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH
WOH WOH
WOH WOH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
WOH WOH WOH WOH WOH WOH!
(Dance Break)
EVERYONE

LOOK UP AT THE ROOFTOPS (OOOO HA)


WHEN YOURE WALKING ROUND
DONT THINK FOR A MOMENT (OOOO HA)
OF LOOKING DOWN.
WOH WOH (YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH) FOR THE WINGS OF A
DOVE.
WOH WOH (YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH) FOR THE WINGS OF A
DOVE.
WOH WOH
FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE!

SCENE PRISON GATES


MUSIC NO 14: ONE BETTER DAY
(New Years Day morning. Its freezing. Two massive prison gates open. One
solitary figure comes out with a pathetic plastic bag of possessions.)
DAD

ARLINGTON HOUSE
ADDRESS NO FIXED ABODE
AN OLD MAN IN A THREE-PIECE SUIT
SITS IN THE ROAD.

64

OUR HOUSE

HE STARES ACROSS THE WATER


AND SEES RIGHT THROUGH THE LOCK.
BUT ON AND UP LIKE OUTSTRETCHED HANDS
HIS MUMBLED WORDS, HIS FUMBLED WORDS.
SURROUNDED BY HIS PAST
ON A SHORT WHITE LINE
HE SITS WHILE CARS PASS EITHER SIDE
GOOD JOE
+ DAD

TAKES HIS TIME

DAD

TRYING TO REMEMBER
ONE BETTER DAY
A WHILE AGO WHEN PEOPLE STOPPED TO HEAR HIM SAY

GOOD JOE

WALKING ROUND YOU SOMETIMES


HEAR THE SUN SHINE
BEATING DOWN IN TIME WITH THE
RHYTHM OF YOUR SHOES.
(Underscore continues.)

SCENE CHURCH
KATH finishes praying as the PRIEST passes.
PRIEST

Kath? Any sign of Joe yet?


(KATH smiles a no.)

PRIEST
(Contd)

What did the prison say?

KATH

They say they let him out last Friday.

PRIEST

Hell come home, Kath.

KATH

(beat) Thats what you told me last time.


(KATH leaves.)

65

OUR HOUSE

DAD

DAD
+ GOOD JOE
+ CHORUS

CHORUS

SHES TRYING TO REMEMBER


ONE BETTER DAY
A WHILE AGO WHEN PEOPLE STOPPED TO HEAR HER SAY.

WALKING ROUND YOU SOMETIMES


HEAR THE SUNSHINE
BEATING DOWN IN TIME WITH THE
RHYTHM OF YOUR SHOES
THE FEELING OF ARRIVING
WHEN YOUVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE.
AHHHH (etc.)

SCENE CASEY STREET


KATH leans in the doorway of the open house, desperate for her son to come back.
KATH

WALKING ROUND YOU SOMETIMES.

DAD

You are right in my shoes now, golden boy.

KATH

HEAR THE SUNSHINE.

DAD

I stood here after Id come out of prison.

KATH

BEATING DOWN IN TIME WITH THE


RHYTHM OF YOUR SHOES.

DAD

Right there. Deeds in my hand thinking why not? Whens life ever shown
any pity on me, eh? If Im gonna sell it, why not break in an take anything
worth anything?
(We have GOOD JOE, hidden from KATHs view, along with KATH and DAD
on stage.)

DAD

Thats how low Id got, Joby. (Beat.) What I didnt expect to find was that
photograph (Swallows.) way back then.

66

OUR HOUSE

MUSIC NO 14a: OUR HOUSE (Reprise)


GOOD JOE

I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN


EVERYTHING WAS TRUE AND WHEN
WE WOULD HAVE SUCH A VERY GOOD TIME
SUCH A FINE TIME
SUCH A HAPPY TIME . . .

DAD

I REMEMBER HOW WED PLAY


SIMPLY WASTE THE DAY AWAY
THEN WED SAY
NOTHING WOULD COME BETWEEN US
TWO DREAMERS . . .
(Music ends.)

MR PRESSMAN
(O.S.)
Kath? Kath?
(MR PRESSMAN strides on. GOOD JOE hides and listens.)
PRESSMAN

Here we are then, Kath! (Arms out, smiles.) End of the road. Time to play
ball. All the others down this street have moved out.

KATH

Yeah well the others werent given their houses for ever, mister Pressman.

PRESSMAN

Oh Kath, Kath, Kath . . . How many times? There is no proof anywhere


that you were miraculously given this house.

KATH

(moves in) Look in my eyes, Mister Pressman. Look at the street name.
Thats all the proof Im gonna give y, you bastard. (She goes in.)

MUSIC NO 15: RISE AND FALL


PRESSMAN

(to the closed door) Great, well you can ask the court to look in your eyes,
sweetheart, but you might find they want to see some deeds. Which dont
exist. And no deeds means youre out. Street name or no street name.
(He pulls his coat collar up. And walks out past GOOD JOE, not even noticing
him.)

67

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

THESE ARE THE STREETS I USED TO WALK


ON SUMMER NIGHTS SIT OUT AND TALK
THATS THE HOUSE WHERE I USED TO LIVE . . .
(He looks at the house, starting to get fire in his belly . . . )

GOOD JOE

(looks up at it) What if I saved this house, Mum? What if I saved Casey
Street for you? Dyou reckon a guy who saved his house deserves to come
home to it?
(Suddenly fired with resolve, the music surges like the mission in JOES breast.)

GOOD JOE

WE USED TO LIVE WHERE CHILDREN PLAY


THEYD LEAVE THEIR HOMES A MILE AWAY
TO COME AND STAND IN TREES AND GRASS
WHERE WE ONCE WALKED THE MEMORIES LAST
BEING HERE AGAIN
I CAN RECALL
FORGOTTEN MOMENTS
THE RISE AND FALL
THIS IS THE TOWN I WONT FORGET
AND AFTER ANGER, THERES NOTHING LEFT
WALKING NOW, ROUND AND ROUND
FAMILIAR SIGHTS ARE OPEN GROUND
BEING HERE AGAIN
I CAN RECALL
FORGOTTEN MOMENTS
THE RISE AND FALL

+ CITIZENS

THE SUN SHINES EAST, THE SUN SHINES WEST


BUT I KNOW WHERE THE SUN SHINES BEST
CASEY STREET IN THE AFTERNOON
ONCE AGAIN ITS OVER TOO SOON.

MUSIC NO 16: HOUSE OF FUN / RISE AND FALL / MY GIRL

SCENE RECEPTION OF PRESSMANS


The doors SPIN TO BLACK. As the citizens clear across the stage, were into BAD JOES
story. A pretty secretary, JULIE, at the front desk.

68

OUR HOUSE

JULIE

Yes. He can do three o clock next Tuesday. Thanks Jill.


(Recitative - style)

BAD JOE

GOOD MORNING, MISS.

JULIE

(starry-eyed) CAN I HELP YOU SIR?

BAD JOE

(hands over business card) YES IM MEETING MISTER PRESSMAN.


HE SAID HALF PAST NINE.
MY NAMES JOE CASEY

JULIE

(points) FROM LAS VEGAS.


CERTAINLY, THIS WAY PLEASE.
(JULIE leads BAD JOE out. Underscore.)

JULIE (Contd) (calls) Just take a seat in the atrium there sir. Theres newspapers and
journals and a cappuccino machine on your right. (To herself.) And if you
need help frothing your milk, I finish at six. (She buzzes.) Oh Mister
Pressman this is Julie in reception. The young mans here that you met in
America. Ive sent him through.
(Thunderclap. The doors SWING TO WHITE. Were in GOOD JOEs story.)
SCENE RECEPTION OF PRESSMANS
Morning bustle. A pretty secretary, JULIE, is at the front desk.
JULIE

He can do three o clock next Tuesday. Thanks Jill.

GOOD JOE

GOOD MORNING, MISS.

JULIE

(blankly, looks at this layabout. Pause three beats.) WHAT?

GOOD JOE

ID LIKE TO SPEAK TO MISTER (Checks card.) IS IT, PRESSMAN?

JULIE

(sighs, then points brusquely) RIGHT.


SIT THROUGH THERE. DONT TOUCH THE PLANTS.
(Shouts.) AN IVE COUNTED ALL THOSE MAGAZINES.

69

OUR HOUSE

(She leans after him.)


JULIE (Contd) (calls) I said dont touch the plants. On the left.
(Thundercrack. DOORS TO BLACK. Were in the BAD JOE story.)
PRESSMAN

COME IN.
(BAD JOE is there.)

PRESSMAN
(Contd)

Ah, JOE CASEY

BAD JOE

MISTER PRESSMAN.

PRESSMAN

FROM LAS VEGAS.

BAD JOE

THATS RIGHT.

PRESSMAN

MY PROTG PROPERTY DEVELOPER

BAD JOE

ITS IN THE BLOOD


MY FAMILY ALL WERE BUILDERS

PRESSMAN

WELL YRE GONNA MAKE THEM REALLY PROUD.

BAD JOE

God I hope I can I mean I . . .

PRESSMAN

A LITTLE STORY, JOE


THIS OLD ESTATE WERE BUILDING ON IS COUNCIL-OWNED.
WE CAN BOOT THEM OUT.
But, slight spanner in the works.
ONE HOUSE SEEMS TO BE A LITTLE RELUCTANT.
(Underscore, darker . . . )

PRESSMAN

One woman. Now I could drag her out, but frankly I could do without the
publicity . . . Specially seeing Ive got YOU, now! Local lad, knows the area,
explains things in a language shed understand. God, matey she probably knows
you! Number 25 Casey Street. Ring any bells? (He hands BAD JOE a card.)

70

OUR HOUSE

PRESSMAN

And if gentle persuasion doesnt work, give Danny a call.

BAD JOE

Danny?

PRESSMAN

Our last resort if we need a house to stop being an obstacle. (Smiles.) Hes
our little personal . . . fireman.

BAD JOE

(goes cold) I wont need fire. I wont need Danny.

PRESSMAN

(suddenly darker) On Friday the first the cranes go up.

BAD JOE

Ill do this by Friday the first.


(Music Rise and Fall)

PRESSMAN

(grips BAD JOE) AND IN THE EAST A NEW SON WILL RISE
PICTURE THIS, JOE, UP THERE CROSS CAMDEN SKIES.
PRESSMAN CASEY.
ON FRIDAY THE FIRST.
IF THAT WITCH IS OUT OF CASEY STREET.
(Pause.)

PRESSMAN

No link, I take it? Joe Casey Casey Street?


(Underscore stops dead. Pause. Hold this . . . )

BAD JOE

No.
(He leaves BAD JOE to the Judas-like moment of disclaiming his family name . . .
Then BAD JOE leaves and we SWING THE DOORS TO WHITE. Were in
GOOD JOEs story.)

SCENE MR PRESSMANS OFFICE


MR PRESSMAN, talking into a mobile.
PRESSMAN

Eight o clock. (Pause.) Marjorie, eight o clock is fine. Ive said Ill come and
Ill meet you outside. Yes. Right. I have to go now. Ive got someone coming
to see me.

71

OUR HOUSE

(GOOD JOE knocks and enters.)


PRESSMAN
(Contd)

Come in.
JOE COSEY.

GOOD JOE

CASEY.

PRESSMAN

CASEY. COME RIGHT IN, PLEASE DO. TELL ME WHAT YOU


WANT. THATS WHAT IM HERE FOR. OFF YOU GO.

GOOD JOE

RIGHT. LOOK. I MAY HAVE GOT THIS WRONG LAST NIGHT.


BUT I THOUGHT I OVERHEARD SOME PLANS FOR CASEY
STREET. NOW . . .
(JOE continues talking under.)
(Music My Girl)

PRESSMAN

MY WIFES MAD AT ME
I DIDNT WANT TO SEE THE FILM TONIGHT
SHE FINDS IT HARD TO TAKE
SHE THINKS IVE HAD ENOUGH OF HER
WHY CANT SHE SEE
SHES LOVELY TO ME
BUT TRAGICLY NOT AS NICE AS
JULIE IN RECEPTION WHOS NINETEEN
(Music stops dead.)

GOOD JOE
(Contd)
PRESSMAN

(stands) Were you even listening to me?


(a dreadful pause) For your information the last man who raised his finger to
me was very, very sorry he did it. Boys?

MUSIC NO 16a: SCENE CHANGE UNDERSCORE


GOOD JOE

What?
(Some HEAVIES wade in and throw GOOD JOE out of the door . . . )

72

OUR HOUSE

PRESSMAN
(Contd)

Can you escort Mister Cosey through the Very Special Visitors exit?

GOOD JOE

Wa-haaargh..
(GOOD JOE is thrown out through a fire door and disappears with a clang. MR
PRESSMAN grabs the phone.)

PRESSMAN

(into mobile) Danny? This is Harold Pressman. We have a small obstacle in


Casey Street.
(Ominous underscore.)

GOOD JOE

(half-bursts back in with HEAVIES) If you wanna fight, youve got it!
(The doors spin to black and instantly were in the BAD JOE story. This is a
SUPERFAST SWITCH.)

SCENE PRESSMAN DEVELOPMENTS PENTHOUSE


Underscore delivers the GANG into the flat, let in by BAD JOE who has a key to such places nowadays.
BAD JOE

In we come, in we com-me! Steady, steady! Dont miss look , see? Lights


in the steps dyou notice that? (Leads them in.) And here straight over
here! Principal feature of the maisonette . . . Juliet Balcony out over the
canal. How about that? How much would you pay for THAT boys?

ANGIE

Woww-w.

BILLIE

Didnt I tell you? Didnt I always say Joe Casey was a hot catch who was
gonna come good?

SARAH

No. You said he was a worthless no-hoper who was surrounded by gormless
prats.

EMMO

(laughs) Meaning who?


(They all look at him.)

73

OUR HOUSE

BAD JOE

Now then. Friday the first. Special day.

LEWIS

Auntie Kaths birthday. Tell y what were gonna give her. All night out in
the limo. Round the West End. What dy reckon?

BAD JOE

Brilliant. (Smiles.) What dy think of mine?


(It takes them all a few moments to realise . . . he means this flat.)
For all shes done for everyone over the years! For bringing me up without
dad. (To EMMO and LEWIS.) Taking these two in an bringing them up like
her own kids . . .

BILLIE

Joe, your mum is never gonna move out of Casey Street.

LEWIS

Its her castle.

BAD JOE

This IS Casey Street!

LEWIS

What?

BAD JOE

What its gonna be. Well, Boulevard.

BILLIE

Casey Boulevard?

ANGIE

Youre gonna knock down Casey Street?

BAD JOE

Its not knocking down its regeneration. Like Mister Pressman said,
things gotta fall for things to rise.

EMMO

Does she want to move?

LEWIS

(pointedly) No. Cause like I said. Its her castle.

BAD JOE

Yeah well itd stop feeling like a bloody castle if certain people stopped
treating it like one. (Beat.) Look. Its about safety, guys. For my mum, okay,
whos spent her life worrying about scum out the high rise she thought
were gonna break in. Well thered be gates, okay? Lights in the steps. (Arms
out.) All this. Marble. Stuff that looks like marble.

74

OUR HOUSE

LEWIS

Goodbye Joe.
(Pause. LEWIS starts to go.)

BAD JOE

Hey. HEY. Lewis. Can I remind you who bought you that limo.

LEWIS

You bought the limo Joe, not the driver.


(LEWIS picks his cap up and goes out. He nods to EMMO to follow.)

EMMO

Oh right. Are we . . . ? Were not . . . ? Right.


(EMMO follows.)

BILLIE

Actually can we scab a lift into town?


(They go too, pointedly. Pause.)

BAD JOE

And these are supposed to be our friends?


(SARAH doesnt respond. BAD JOE realises and tries to perk her up.)

BAD JOE
(Contd)

Honest to God, Sarah, I really think Mister Pressmans gonna take me on as


a partner for this. Can yimagine, Mum seeing that up on the cranes?
(Gestures.) Pressman Casey. (Pause.) Yeah?
(SARAH just looks at him.)
(s.v.) Bit of support, yeah? (He gathers his things to go.)

SARAH

You earn support, Joe. You dont marry it.


(He turns. He has no answer to that. So he just leaves.)

MUSIC NO 17: NW5


SARAH

I WATCHED YOU CLIMB UP


SAW YOU COME ALIVE
FROM VERY HUMBLE BEGINNINGS IN
NW5

75

OUR HOUSE

I HAVE HEARD YOU COME UP


BELIEVING YOUR OWN LIES
WITNESSED THE BLESSING RISE UP IN A
VERY STRANGE DISGUISE
THOUGH YOU HAVE BECOME A BURDEN
ONE THING REMAINS, THATS FOR CERTAIN
I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE
BUT WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE
I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING
FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING
I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING
FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING . . .
DAD

I WATCHED YOU GROW UP


ONLY TO DESPISE
SAW THE MADNESS STACK UP THROUGH
TARPAULIN EYES

SARAH

THOUGH WE FACE THE FINAL CURTAIN


ONE THING REMAINS, THATS FOR CERTAIN
I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE
BUT WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE

SARAH + DAD I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING


FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING
FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING
I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING
FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING
(Underscore. In front of SARAH as she puts her coat on (DAD holds it for her
but she seems unaware) simultaneously we see BAD JOE and MR PRESSMAN
crossing.)
BAD JOE

(enters, laughing) . . . See the thing is, ANY other project (does a definite
gesture) one hundred per cent. But this Irish Estate mentioning it to my
friends, my wife, its a bit . . . Is there another maybe smaller project I could
maybe start on?

76

OUR HOUSE

PRESSMAN

SARAH
+ CHORUS

(suddenly loses all avuncularity) Hey. There is no other project Joe. An if


you cant hack this you might as well wimp out back to the minor league
and spend yr life doing up flats. Ive told you. If you cant do it with words,
do it with muscle. Use the card. Call Danny.

I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING


FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING
FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING
I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING
FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING . . .
FOR THAT SMILE . . . (etc.)
(She goes. DAD closes behind her and SPINS THEM TO WHITE. Were in the
GOOD JOE story.)

SCENE VERY POSH LAW FIRM


MUSIC NO 17a: EMBARRASSMENT (Reprise Law Firm)
(A be-wigged BARRISTER strides in, confidently, with his CLERK.)
CLERK

(reading) RECEIVED A LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY.

BARRISTER

Good.

CLERK

YOUNG MAN WANTS HELP WITH SOME MISSING HOUSE DEEDS

BARRISTER

Excellent.

CLERK

I GAVE HIM A NOTE OF OUR USUAL FEES.

BARRISTER

Tremendous.

GOOD JOE

AND HE SAYS HE HASNT GOT ANY MONEY.

77

OUR HOUSE

BARRISTER

GOODBYE.
(GOOD JOE is there.)

GOOD JOE

HELLO?

CLERK

YOURE NOT TO COME SEE US NO MORE.

GOOD JOE

But I havent even got in . . .

BARRISTER

KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR. Shoo.


(GOOD JOE is backed out.)

CLERK

TRY HARPER SMITH MASSEY IN HAMPSTEAD.


SLIGHTLY SMALLER. YOUNGER. CHEAPER . . .
(The CLERK is replaced by . . . HARPER SMITH MASSEY, LAWYERS . . . three
LAWYERS in sharp suits, HARPER, SMITH and MASSEY.)

HARPER

TOTAL BASTARDS THOSE BIG-TIME DEVELOPERS. THEY JUST . . .

SMITH

THINK MONEY JUST BUYS THEM THE RIGHT . . .

MASSEY

AND CONNECTIONS, AND POWER.


GOD, THEY THINK MONEYS EVERYTHING.

GOOD JOE

(agreeing) AND THE THING IS IVE NO MONEY TO FIGHT THEM.


(Slight pause.)

ALL THREE
LAWYERS

(packing up) WELL THEN YOURE NOT TO COME SEE US NO MORE.

GOOD JOE

No. Hold on. Come back . . .

ALL THREE
LAWYERS

KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR.

78

OUR HOUSE

(They all leave.)


SMITH

(hangs back) TRY THAT LEGAL AID PLACE.

HARPER

CAMDEN HIGH STREET

MASSEY

USED TO BE THE ELECTRIC RHINO SEX SHOP.


(They are replaced by . . . CAMDEN HIGH STREET LAW FIRM . . . a frazzled
tie-wrenched HARRASSED SMALL TIME LAWYER.)

SMALL TIME
LAWYER

Right so lets just weigh up what we got here.


ON THE ONE SIDE, MULTI-MILLION POUND DEVELOPERS.
(Looks.) ON THE OTHER, A BLOKE ON LEGAL AID.
(He massages his approaching migraine at the temples. Then sun comes out.)

SMALL TIME
LAWYER
(Contd)

I think Ill give this to our trainee. Sarah!


(Music stops. A girl replaces the SMALL TIME LAWYER. She is on the phone,
struggling with loads of papers, clearly under the kosh. It is SARAH.)

SARAH

Yes yes. Okay ten minutes. Tell them to come up now. Ive a client half past
and then . . .
(CALLUM enters and hugs SARAH while shes on the phone.)

CALLUM

Sarah? Lunch!

SARAH

. . . oh God, Im in Camden Magistrates Court on that police bail thing . . .

CALLUM

(nuzzling her) Lu-u-unchy lunch . . .

SARAH

(to CALLUM, s.v., laughing) I cant see them until about . . . (To CALLUM.)
Stop it-t! . . . Four. Okay. Thanks, Sue. (Phone down.) Callum, you cant
just come in here annn hrmmmm . . .

79

OUR HOUSE

(CALLUM kisses her. She gives in and kisses him back. GOOD JOE looks down.)
SARAH
(Contd)

(sees GOOD JOE) Joe?

CALLUM

Eh?
(They have both turned. GOOD JOE is sheepish, to CALLUM.)

GOOD JOE

Let me remind y. Get yr hands off my girl. (He does a little mime of the
strike.)

CALLUM

(hands up, mock) Oh my God. Joe Casey. Dont hit me again.

GOOD JOE

Sorry about all that, mate.

CALLUM

(shakes) Hey.

SARAH

What are you doing here, Joe?

GOOD JOE

I need a lawyer.

SARAH

Oh God. Now whatve you done?

GOOD JOE

No, no, no. Im trying to save Casey Street cause theres this guy who says
he can kick me mum out unless the house . . . and . . . and theres no proof
and she . . . we . . . (Pause.) Maybe Id better try another solicitors.

SARAH

No, no. Hold on. (Turns to CALLUM.) Callum, you have to go.

CALLUM

Charming.

SARAH

No, I mean Billie and Angie are coming up with the wedding dress. Its
incredibly bad luck.

CALLUM

Oh right, fair enough. See y later, mate. (He does a playful mock-scrap with
JOE on the way out.)
(CALLUM goes. A beat.)

80

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

Wedding. Congratulations. (Pause.) I think Ive been here before. Used to


be the Electric Rhino Sex Shop. Emmo and Lewis once bought me a
condom from here that played a tune.

SARAH

(points, realising, slowly) Ohhhhmygodddd that WAS you. That WAS you
playing the Power Of Love out of your back pocket.
(SARAH laughs. GOOD JOE does too, then just watches her laughing. It dies.
SARAH looks at him.)

MUSIC NO 17b: UNDERSCORE (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation)


GOOD JOE

The night I hit Callum I said I wished Id never met you. (Beat, shakes head.)
Was such a lie. Its impossible for anyone to wish that. Every second people
spend with you, Sarah, it makes their lives better.

SARAH

(s.v.) Stop, Joe. Please.


(Pause. This is really awkward.)

GOOD JOE

Ill save Casey Street, Sah. You just go off an be happy. (Beat.) I never met
anyone who deserves to be happy more than you.
(He looks at her. Then GOOD JOE turns and goes. SARAH is left alone.)

SARAH

CAN YOU RAISE A FINAL CURTAIN?


ONE THING REMAINS, THATS FOR CERTAIN
I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE
WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE . . .
(suddenly picks up phone) Sue, cancel the two o clock. Somethings come up.
(We lose the light on SARAH. The doors spin. We go to black. Were in the
murky world of BAD JOES story.)

SCENE ALLEY
Underscore continues. All is low light. DAD is there.
BAD JOE

Danny?

81

OUR HOUSE

(A shadow in the darkness.)


BAD JOE
(Contd)

Is that Danny? Harold Pressman gave me this number. Is your name


Danny?

REECEY

The Christian one. (He emerges into the light of the neons. Its REECEY.)

BAD JOE

Reecey! What the hell are you doing here?

REECEY

Hello Jo-jo. Working for Harold Pressman. Same as you. I heard youd gone
legit. (Smiles.) Or are you about to prove otherwise?
(Pause.)

BAD JOE

On the night of Friday the first, no-one will be in at number twenty five
Casey Street. Some lads are taking the owner round the West End in a limo
for her birthday.

REECEY

Twenty five? Isnt that your house, Joby?


(REECEY smiles a sort of bloody hell, thats a good one face and clicks his fingers
for the money.)

DAD

How low does a man have to be to sell his own house and break (in . . . )

BAD JOE

Break in. I just need you to break in, Reecey. Nothing else. I just need that
house to stop feeling a safe place to be.

REECEY

I have done this before, Casey. Half now. You meet me with the other half
at Camden Lock immediately after its done.

BAD JOE

(beat, pauses handing it over) I just need it to stop feeling like a castle.
(REECEY snatches the money.)

REECEY

Camden Lock, Jojo.


(REECEY and BAD JOE go their different ways.)

82

OUR HOUSE

DAD
+ CHORUS

ITS THE SIMPLE EQUATION OF WRONG VERSUS RIGHT


THE TERROR OF STANDING, ONE NORTH LONDON NIGHT
THINKING YOUD CHOSEN TO RUN THE RIGHT WAY,
AND NOW WATCHING RIGHT GOING WRONG.
WHITE GOING GREY.
SHOW ME NOW, WHICH WAYS HIGH?
IS THIS EARTH? IS THAT THE SKY?
AND IF I KNEW, IF THINGS WERE CLEAR
COULD I EVEN MAKE HIM HEAR?
(During this DAD SPINS THE DOORS to WHITE. Were in GOOD JOES
story.)

SCENE MORRIS MINOR, CAMDEN BACK STREET


GOOD JOE is sleeping in the battered old Morris. Both doors are missing from this and its in a
real state.
GOOD JOE

Dad?

SARAH (O.S.)

Joe?
(SARAH appears, looking wrecked. GOOD JOE almost jumps, frightened and
caught.)

GOOD JOE

Sarah? What are you doing here?

SARAH

Looking for you. Are you sleeping in this?

GOOD JOE

(doesnt want to answer this) Sarah that was the weirdest thing . . . my dad . . .
it felt like I really just heard my dads voice . . . Have you been crying?
(This isnt answered, either.) Dont think I ever got it going again after that
day out. Dyou remember? With Emmo and Lewis and . . . (swallows) . . .
and the guys.
(There is a brief pause, a slightly golden one where they both remember that day.)

SARAH

You said when you came in the office you were trying to save Casey Street.
Tell me what you meant.

83

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

(tries to be efficient) Oh. Right. Well its about these developers. Its a man
called Pressman. The companys called Pressmans. Theyre the ones built all
them things up there. And what I think it is is theyre planning to . . . (Under.)

MUSIC NO 18: IT MUST BE LOVE


(The sung and the (quieter) spoken texts run together where marked.)
SARAH

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MISS YOU


HALF AS MUCH AS I DO.
AND I NEVER THOUGHT I'D FEEL THIS WAY
THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU.
AS SOON AS I WAKE UP
EVERY NIGHT, EVERY DAY.
I KNOW THAT IT'S YOU I NEED TO TAKE THE BLUES AWAY
IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, LOVE IS THE BEST.

GOOD JOE

(simultaneous with the above) . . . create something like villas, like luxury
villas, which means that they just (Gestures.) completely nix the whole of
Casey Street. Now they've obviously offered money to mum to move her
out of number twenty-five. And I don't know if she's signed anything or
what the whole legal situation is, I don't know anything about law and I
haven't got any money to pay for people who do, and and and
Pressmans are gonna have the bloody you know, the Rolls Royce of
lawyers . . .
(Beat. They look at each other.)

SARAH

Okay. Well I did some research . . . (Under.)

GOOD JOE

HOW CAN IT BE THAT WE CAN


SAY SO MUCH WITHOUT WORDS?
BLESS YOU AND BLESS ME
BLESS THE BEES AND THE BIRDS.

SARAH

(simultaneous with the above) . . . looked up the deeds. And I mean this
wasnt straightforward getting this, I tell you. This was calling in favours of
friends of friends, God but there was something turned up. I found this . . .

84

OUR HOUSE

I mean I dont know what it is but and I think this might be the document
which would prove . . . which would prove . . . would actually say . . .
(She loses words as she looks up at GOOD JOE.)
SARAH
+ GOOD JOE

IVE GOT TO BE NEAR YOU


EVERY NIGHT, EVERY DAY
I COULDNT BE HAPPY
ANY OTHER WAY.
IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, LOVE IS THE BEST.
(Underscore.)

SARAH

Your Dad took them, Joe. Theyve got a record. About a month after he last
came out of prison, he came in and took the deeds. Why, I dont know, if
he didnt try and sell it, but . . . (She looks down at a file.) A while after, he
returned this. (Beat.) I am so dead if anyone finds I took it. I asked so many
friends of friends . . . (She hands over an envelope.) Pressmans boys
wouldntve noticed. Someone looking for deeds would never notice
something just marked For Joe.
(GOOD JOE opens it. Pulls out a small piece of card, and some papers.)

SARAH

(frowns, leans in) That your mum and dad?

GOOD JOE

The Simplest Dance in the Universe. Winning couple. Margate Pier.

SARAH

He took that from the house?


(Theres a look between them.)

SARAH

So is that what I think? Is that the deeds?

GOOD JOE

(opens a piece of paper, looks at her) Youre incredible, Sarah.


(He wants to hold her. But realises he cant. So he shakes her hand. They shake
hands. And keep shaking . . . )

85

OUR HOUSE

SARAH + JOE

IVE GOT TO BE NEAR YOU


EVRY NIGHT, EVRY DAY
I KNOW THAT ITS YOU I NEED
TO CHASE THE BLUES AWAY.
IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE
IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE.
IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE
IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE.
NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, LOVE IS THE BEST.
(Music ends.)

GOOD JOE

I can go home.
(The two lovers look at each other.)

SARAH

You got your dream. Youre proving my mates wrong, Mister Casey.

GOOD JOE

And youre a lawyer, so you got yours, Mrs . . . ? Whats that make you
now?

SARAH

(pause) I didnt get married, Joe. Sometimes, no matter how much you love
someone, you cant say yes.

GOOD JOE

Right. I didnt know. Thats very sad.

MUSIC NO 18a: TAG After Scene


(SARAH nods, turns and goes. GOOD JOE stays nodding sombrely until shes
gone.)
GOOD JOE
(Contd)

Could this day get any (Jumps up.) better?!

MUSIC NO 19: THE SUN AND THE RAIN Reprise (Stallholders)

SCENE CAMDEN MARKET


STALLHOLDERS plough in. The sign CAMDEN MARKET appears. They set up stalls during:

86

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE

Im coming home, mum!


ITS RAINING AGAIN
A CRACK IN THE CLOUDS REVEALS BLUE SKIES
IVE BEEN FEELING SO LOW
BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS ON MY SIDE
THE SUN AND THE RAIN
WALK WITH ME, FILL MY HEART AGAIN.
I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE
I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE
THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN
IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.

STALLHOLDER 1
(MALE)
WHO WILL BUY MY INDIAN JOSS STICKS?
INCENSE BURNERS DIRECT FROM NEPAL?
STALLHOLDER 2
(MALE)
SUCH FINE OFFENSIVE T-SHIRTS.
RUDE WORDS. OBSCENE DESIGNS.
STALLHOLDER 3
(FEMALE)
LOOK AT MY WIDE RANGE OF EXOTIC BATH SOAPS
MADE FROM SOME THINGS YOU WOULD NORMALLY EAT.
STALLHOLDER 4
(MALE)
RI-I-IPE CANNABIS, RI-I-IPE.
(Repeat all, simultaneously, once.)
GOOD JOE +
MARKETEERS

I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE . . .


I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE
THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN
IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN . . .
(Underscore DANCE OF CAMDEN MARKET)
(Theres a thunderclap. The STALLHOLDERS all look up, feel for rain, turn
their stalls over and immediately convert to selling Union Jack umbrellas . . . )

87

OUR HOUSE

GOOD JOE +
MARKETEERS

(whispered) ITS RAINING AGAIN, ITS RAINING AGAIN


ITS RAINING AGAIN, ITS RAINING AGAIN
ITS RAINING AGAIN, ITS RAINING AGAIN
ITS WHOA-A-A . . .
(sung) I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE
I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE
THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN
IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN . . .
(GOOD JOE goes behind the open umbrellas . . . which then shut to reveal BAD
JOE. Its magical. The doors snap to black.)

BAD JOE

ITS RAINING AGAIN


IM HEARING IT PITTER PATTER DOWN
ITS WET IN THE STREET
REFLECTING THE LIGHTS AND SPLASHING FEET.
NOWHERE TO GO, AND NOTHING I HAVE TO DO.
(checks his watch) Cmon Reecey. Where ARE y?
(The umbrellas part to reveal EMMO and LEWIS in their grey chauffeur gear.)

BAD JOE

Emmo? Lewis? What the hell are you two doing here? What happened to
Mums birthday trip in the limo?

EMMO

She wouldnt come.

BAD JOE

(horrified) Shes still in the house?

LEWIS

Funny enough not everyones idea of a birthday present is limousine, Joe.


Some people would rather just stay and wait and hope that their son might
come home to visit.

BAD JOE

(races off) No. No, no, no! Shes still in the house! REECEY!

MARKETEERS

I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE


I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE
THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN
IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN . . .

88

OUR HOUSE

(The doors are now spinning continuously as we see both GOOD and BAD JOES
rushing towards the house through the umbrellas of the market, whose singing
accumulates . . . )
MARKETEERS

DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO


DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.

BAD JOE

Reecey!

MARKETEERS

DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO


DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.

GOOD JOE

Im coming home, Mum!

MARKETEERS

DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO


DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.

BAD JOE

Mum!

MARKETEERS

DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO


DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.

GOOD JOE

Mum!

MARKETEERS

THE SUN SHINES EAST, THE SUN SHINES WEST


BUT I KNOW WHERE THE SUN SHINES BEST
CASEY STREET IN THE AFTERNOON
ONCE AGAIN ITS OVER TOO SOON.
( . . . to suddenly clear, as the stage clears to reveal . . . )

MARKETEERS

AHHH, AHHH, AHHH

SCENE CASEY STREET


. . . where the house is on fire.
(GOOD JOE stares at it. BAD JOE stares at it. Vocal Underscore.)
GOOD
+ BAD JOE

Mum!

89

OUR HOUSE

(They both start to rush for the door, but both are restrained by separate groups
of onlookers.)
GOOD JOES
ONLOOKERS

JOE! JOE!
(GOOD JOES ONLOOKERS part to reveal KATH.)

BAD JOE

Shes in the house! My mums in the house!


(BAD JOES ONLOOKERS pull him away from entering the house.)

GOOD JOE

(gently) Mum?
(BAD JOE collapses to his knees surrounded by his ONLOOKERS. GOOD JOE is
left alone with KATH by their ONLOOKERS. They look at each other as if
afraid each is a ghost.)

GOOD JOE
(Contd)

You couldve been in there.

MUM

Shhh.

GOOD JOE

You couldve been in the house. You couldve been in . . .

KATH

(calms him, finger on his lips) Your girl came and told me where you were
sleeping, Joe. Your girl, my God, who loves you, golden boy.

GOOD JOE

Pressman will have done this, Mum. I came back to save it and . . .

KATH

(shushing him like a baby) You came back to me, Joe Casey. Not the house.
(She holds him.) You came back to me.
(KATH hugs him on one side of the stage as BAD JOE is helped away in the
middle of his ONLOOKERS.)

SCENE CHURCH
Doors spin to black. All is blackness and death. Were in BAD JOEs story. Vocal Underscore
continues (+ organ). A very simple wooden coffin. A very simple cross. A very simple light.
The PRIEST, EMMO, LEWIS, BILLIE, ANGIE and SARAH. Theyre in black. BAD JOE comes
in. Music ends.)

90

OUR HOUSE

LEWIS

Police reckon it was someone breaking in. Dropped a fire bomb. Good that,
innit? (Pause.) Shouldve told us you had something planned, Joe. Wedve
tried harder to get her in the limo . . .

EMMO

Whoa . . .
(LEWIS flies at him and has to be restrained by EMMO.)

EMMO
(Contd)

Whoa, whoa whoa. Come on big man.


(Its now clear BAD JOE is crying.)

LEWIS

Dont you dare. Dont you dare cry now.

BAD JOE

(s.v., like a baby) Its my Mum.

LEWIS

She is now. On Friday she was the woman you wanted out of Casey Street.

EMMO

Come on.
(The lads leave.)

BILLIE

Eh Joe. Good job Sarah went into law.

ANGIE

I reckon yr gonna need it.


(BILLIE and ANGIE go. Pause. SARAH looks at JOE for some kind of
confirmation he had nothing to do with this.)

SARAH

Wasnt, was it Joe? You didnt have anything to do with this?


(Pause.)

BAD JOE

Sarah. We might have to reinforce the truth a bit.


(SARAH looks at him. Her hands slowly rise to cup her mouth at the horror of
whats coming . . . )

91

OUR HOUSE

SARAH

(s.s.s.v.) Ohhhhmygod.

BAD JOE

No, no, no, just to be safe. For the future. For the both of us. Just to be safe,
yeah?

SARAH

Yr still running arent you, Joe? The crimes just got bigger.

BAD JOE

Its not dont say crime. Sarah, if anyone asks if I wanted mum out of
Casey Street I need to know yd say the right thing.
(SARAH looks at him.)

SARAH

No matter how much you love someone, Joe, theres times in life you cant
say yes.

MUSIC NO 19a: SIMPLE EQUATION (Reprise)


DAD

SUDDENLY
WRONG TURNS BACK TO RIGHT
BLACK TURNS SLOWLY BACK TO WHITE
SKIES ALL SUDDENLY COME CLEAR
WE SEE HOW WE GOT TO HERE
(We hear a sentence delivered by a judge.)

JUDGE

Daniel Reece you have named Joseph Casey as an accomplice. You will both
be remanded pending further investigation into the charges of arson and
manslaughter brought against you by the crown . . .
(The prison gates appear.)

BAD JOE

I NEED A MOMENT TO REFLECT


ON THE FRIENDSHIPS I HAVE WRECKED.
(BAD JOE goes to prison.)

SCENE PRIMROSE HILL


The doors spin to white. All is brightness and light. Were in GOOD JOEs story.

92

OUR HOUSE

MUSIC NO 20: PRIMROSE HILL / OUR HOUSE (Reprise)


(Underscore. Everyone piles on for a party on Primrose Hill. EMMO and LEWIS
with BILLIE and ANGIE and balloons and a camera.)
EMMO

Theyre comin! (Points.) Theyre coming. Quick.

LEWIS

Did you get a wedding present?

EMMO

Yeah. I got em a Surprise Harmony condom.

LEWIS

What?

EMMO

Well its nice for a young couple, yknow? I mean they dont work, but they
do mean yr kids grow up very musical.
(KATH enters. General cheer.)

KATH

Well. Theres one thing about a registry office. Its a bloomin sight shorter
than the Catholic service.
(HONKK-K . . . all turn to see . . . GOOD JOE pushes SARAH on shes
standing up in the Morris minor which has broken down again, but is sparkling,
done up, bows on, flashing chaser lights round it and wearing a bow tie. The
fans are on so her wedding veil is billowing out behind her. They all cheer.)

GOOD JOE

Sarah, this is now our mum. (Shows her round.) Our Emmo. Our Lewis.
(BILLIE and ANGIE step forward for theirs . . . )

GOOD JOE
(Contd)

And your mates.

ANGIE

Oi.

EMMO

(top off) Lets hit Primrose Hill an party.

ANGIE

God, Emmo. Youve got a decent body, yknow that?

93

OUR HOUSE

LEWIS

Yeah. I thought I might take my top off an all . . .

BILLIE
+ ANGIE

No.

LEWIS

Fair point.

SARAH

Photograph!
(They all go to arrange themselves as . . .)

GOOD JOE

Photograph for you, too. (He gives KATH the photo of Margate.) The
Simplest Dance in the Universe.
(KATH immediately remembers the moment, right from the start of the story.)

KATH

(hand to mouth) Oh baby.

GOOD JOE

I think he came back, Mum. I think he was gonna sell the house, broke in to
take stuff but he found that. And that memorys what made him . . .
(Pause Kath looks at the envelope, in tears.)

KATH

For Joe.

DAD

I didnt want I didnt mean . . .

GOOD JOE

It wasnt simple for him, Mum. I think I understand now. He couldve done
the wrong thing for the right reasons. An made mistakes. An hurt you . . .

EMMO

Its taking!

GOOD JOE

We can rebuild it, Mum. Pressman, all his plans Reecey named him as an
accomplice. Hes gone down for years.

KATH

(takes JOEs face in her hands) You go to your girl, Joe Casey. And Casey
Street will be wherever you two build it.

EVERYONE

Five, four, three . . .

94

OUR HOUSE

(KATH goes back to the photo . . . )


DAD + JOE

NOW WE DRAW THE FINAL CURTAIN,


ONE THING REMAINS, THATS FOR CERTAIN
I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE
BUT WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE . . .

DAD

(calls) Joe?
(The membrane between them, at parting, is so thin, that GOOD JOE hears.)

DAD
(Contd)

Gonna miss you, mate. But I think I have to go now.


(Beat.)

GOOD JOE

I know.

SARAH

Oi! Did we get married or what?


(GOOD JOE turns and runs back, missing his fathers touch.)

EVERYONE

Two, one . . .

EMMO

Smile!

EVERYONE

(shout) YEAH!
(Flash.)

EVERYONE
(Contd)

OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE
IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE
IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP

95

OUR HOUSE

OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE
IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
OUR HOUSE
IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
(As the gang sing, time winds back to the birthday party of JOE at the start.
Banners balloons, signs saying HAPPY SIXTEENTH JOE . . . )
EVERYONE
(Contd)

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN


WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
(Hung pause . . . )

SARAH

Sixteen, Joe! Where dyou go when you can go anywhere?


(Music sting, a moment of magic . . . )

GOOD JOE

(beams) Lets go dancing.

COMPANY

IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET!


(JOE and SARAH kiss!)
(Curtain.)

96

OUR HOUSE

MUSIC NO 21: BOWS


COMPANY

OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
OUR HOUSE
IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN / OUR HOUSE
NOW WEVE COME OF AGE / IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN / OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET

MUSIC NO 22: ENCORE / PLAY OUT


COMPANY

OH WHAT FUN WE HAD


BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD
TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS
TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE . . .
OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD
TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS
TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE . . .
BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS.
BAGGY TROUSERS. NA NA NA NA . . .
OI!

97

(x3)

By TIM F IRTH
Music and Lyrics by MADNESS

VOCAL BOOK

Josef Weinberger Limited


12 - 14 Mortimer Street
London W1T 3JJ
Tel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 9616
general.info@jwmail.co.uk www.josef-weinberger.com

OUR HOUSE
Book Copyright 2009 by Tim Firth
Edition Copyright 2009 by Josef Weinberger Limited, London
All Rights Reserved
For individual song copyright details, see appendix.
PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL

Applications to perform this musical must be made,


BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to:
JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED
12 - 14 Mortimer Street
London W1T 3JJ
United Kingdom
Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827
Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616
www.josef-weinberger.com

September 2009

MUSICAL NUMBERS
ACT ONE
1.

Opening (Instrumental) .....................................................................1

1a.

Los Palmas Seven (Underscore) (Instrumental)...................................1

2.

Our House (Priest, Joe, Emmo, Lewis, Casey St. Residents) .................1

2a.

Our House Playoff (Instrumental)......................................................5

2b.

Balcony Underscore (Instrumental) ....................................................5

3.

Simple Equation (Dad) .....................................................................5

4.

My Girl (Emmo, Bad Joe, Lewis) .......................................................7

4a.

Simple Equation Reprise (Dad) ...................................................10

4b.

Magistrates Court (All I Wanted / My Girl) (Kath, Dad, Lads).......11

5.

Baggy Trousers (Reecey, Schoolkids, Mr Jesmond, Bad Joe).................12

5a.

Simple Equation Reprise (Dad) ...................................................17

6.

Embarrassment
(Careers Officer, Reecey, Billie, Angie, Emmo, Neighbours, Lewis,
Aunt, Uncle, Security Guards, Kath, Grandad, Good Joe) ..................18

6a.

Embarrassment Playoff (Instrumental) ............................................20

6b.

Baggy Trousers Underscore (Instrumental) ......................................20

7.

Embarrassment Reprise (Encouragement Version)


(Bad Joe, Heather, Sales Reps, London Alarms Boss,) ..........................21

7a.

Baggy Trousers / Our House Underscore (Instrumental)..................22

8.

Driving In My Car (Good Joe, Lewis, Emmo, Billie, Angie, Sarah) ....23

8a-I.

My Girl Reprise (Ballad Version) (Sarah, Dad).............................25

8a-II.

Driving In My Car Reprise (Dad, Bad Joe, Salesman)....................25

8b.

After Driving In My Car (Instrumental)...........................................25

8c.

Simple Equation Reprise (Dad, Chorus)........................................26

9.

The Return Of The Los Palmas Seven (Instrumental) ......................27

10.

Shut Up (Reecey, Coppers, Good Joe ) ................................................28

11.

Tormorrows Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain


(Prisoners, Good Joe, Girls Chorus, Bad Joe, Sarah) ............................30

ACT TWO
12.

Night Boat To Cairo (Dad) ............................................................36

12a.

Night Boat (Vegas Underscore) (Instrumental) ................................37

13.

Wings Of A Dove (Carib Combo, Billie, Angie, All) ........................38

14.

One Better Day (Dad, Good Joe, Chorus, Kath) ...............................44

14a.

Our House Reprise (Good Joe, Dad) ............................................47

15.

Rise And Fall (Good Joe, Chorus) .....................................................48

16.

House Of Fun / Rise And Fall / My Girl


(Bad Joe, Julie, Good Joe, Mr. Pressman, Chorus) ..............................50

16a.

Scene Change (Underscore) (Instrumental) .....................................52

17.

N.W.5 (Sarah, Dad, Chorus) ...........................................................53

17a.

Embarrassment Reprise (Law Firm)


(Clerk, Barrister, Good Joe, Harper, Smith, Massey,
Harrassed Small-Time Lawyer.) .......................................................57

17b.

Underscore (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation)


(Sarah, Dad, Chorus) .......................................................................59

18.

It Must Be Love (Sarah, Good Joe) ..................................................61

19.

The Sun And The Rain Reprise (Stallholders)


(Good Joe, Bad Joe, Stallholders, Chorus) ..........................................64

19a.

Simple Equation (Reprise) (Dad, Bad Joe) ......................................71

20.

Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise) (Dad, Good Joe, Company) ....72

21.

Bows (Company) .............................................................................74

22.

Encore / Play Off (Company) ..........................................................76

Vocal Book

OUR HOUSE
1. Opening TACET
1a. Los Palmas Seven TACET

2. Our House
Q - Joe: There's a wrong way and a right way.
It's a pretty simple equation. (Doorbell.)

q = 123

Joe

Fa - ther wears

his Sun - day

kids are play - ing


15

up

best

12

she needs

Priest

Mo - ther's tired

down - stairs.

Sis - ter's sigh - ing

in

her

Bro - ther's got

date

to

keep

he

21

in

the mid - dle of

street.

Joe

Our house it

has a

24

our

us - ual - ly

quite

Our

loud.

Copyright 2009 by Josef Weinberger Ltd., London


PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL

Emmo + Lewis

house

the mid - dle

of

our

al - ways some - thing hap - pen - ing

Emmo + Lewis

there's

the

in

Our

house

crowd

can't hang a - round.

18

CHORUS

B.V.
Oh

rest,

sleep.

Joe

Our mum she's

so

house


proud.

and it's

2. Our House

27



No - thing e

ver slows

her down and a

mess is

not

in

the mid - dle of

33

Gentle (Dialogue)

our

street.

Everyone

in
47

keep.

50

53

Our

house

de

of

de

Girls

mf

Ay


Na na na na

na

na

Our

naaa

our

yah

de

yah

da

da

da

our

cas - tle

and our

da

de

de

da

de

yah

Ay

Na na na na

street. Our house

de

our

is

De

our

in the mid - dle of

house

the mid - dle of

of

the mid - dle of

house

the mid - dle

in

mf

da

mf

house

in

our

in

Casey Street Inhabitants

Boys

Our house

da

the mid - dle

Our

Our

is our cast - tle and our keep. Our house

44

Our house

37

al - lowed.

30

Everyone

CHORUS

na

na

naaa

da


yah

yah

2. Our House


57

yah

Ay

Na na na na

na

na

yah

yah

yah

Ay

yah

yah

naaa

Na na na na

na

na

naaa

Everyone
61

64

ff

Na na na na na na naa Na na na na na na naa


na na naa

67


Na

83 CHORUS

Na na na na na na naa Na na na na na na naa

Na na na na na Na na na na na na

Na

Everyone

Our

na

na

naa

in

of

our

mid - dle

of

our

house

the

Our

Q to cut: "Fem-safe Femidom"


VAMP - Cut on cue (4th X?)

Cut on Joe: " . . . flavour? . . . Right"


VAMP - Cut on cue

house

the mid - dle

in

na

Sarah: "GIRLS!"

86

Na na

Q to go on: Billie:
". . . Asda bag but it's alright."
VAMP TILL READY

Na na na na na Na na na na na na Na na

na

73

street.

Our

house



is

our

cas - tle

and our

2. Our House

89

Wel - come to

keep.

Our

house

in

92

the mid - dle

of

95

Wel - come to

the house

Our

our

temp - ta - tion's on

Our

the

of

fun

now I've come

of

age.

his

way.

Wel - come to

our

li - on's

den

Our

house

Our

house

of

our

the mid - dle

our

street.

of

fun

the mid - dle of

the mid - dle of

our

li - on's

den

Our

house

now I'm come

of

age


in

our

the



in

of



In

the house

the house

Wel - come to

in

of

house

the mid - dle

den.

house

li - on's

the mid - dle of

Wel - come to

Our

our


in

of

101

street.

in

98

the

house

mid - dle

Wel - come to

in

the

fun.

the mid - dle of

Segue PLAY OFF

street.

street.

our

2a. Our House Playoff TACET


2b. Balcony Underscore TACET

3. Simple Equation
Q - V.O.: "This is the police."

q = 160

Girls B.V.

Ooh

13

Ooh

17

Aah

Aah

Ooh

21

Aah

Slightly slower q = 152

Joe's Dad

It's
29


sim - ple

e - qua - tion

of

wrong ver - sus right.

Pro - blem as

ea - sy

the

as

3. Simple Equation

32


black ver - sus white

the

sim - ple

35


Fac - ing

the

38

there


45

no

it

days

that

B.V.

Days

49

or

that

sha - dows

Sha - dows

by

al



sep - a

which

we

we

of

night ver - sus

ve - ry

rate



rate

day

'Cos with - out

If

ways so

sep - a

which

tion

run - ning a - way

high.



by

ic

is

Is

41

mus

e - qua

no - thing

fell

there'd

be

no

re - cog

nise

nise

sky.

the night.

The

re - cog

low

It's the

the night.

clear?


the

light.

the

light.

4. My Girl
Q - Sarah: "Maybe I'm not such a good judge of character."

Faster

Slowly

did -n't

girl's mad at

She's love - ly

17

in

21

and watch

T.

on

25

for

an

hour.

my own,

tried and tried but I

ev - ery

like

to

then.

Been on the

be heard.

said

stay

now and

We hard - ly

could not

hard to

Why can't she see?

me

But

V.

I found it

me.

My girl's mad at

phone

to

Bad Joe

of her.

me

She thought I'd had e - nough

13

My

see the film to - night.

want to

say.

28

Emmo

q = 120

te - le -

word.

Why

can't

ex -

4. My Girl

8
31

Emmo

Why can't she see?

Why

35

do I

She does - n't

Emmo

weak.

me.

But I like to stay

own

Lewis

Underscore

Bad Joe


was

I don't care

out.

Emmo

Bad Joe

all the wrong

thought we'd

a -

Now when I

Emmo

try

And now she says


Lads
3

La

la

to speak

Bad Joe

She says I'm un - a - ware

light.

I thought we'd talked it

She sort of says.

on my

to

We talked and talked un - til it

57

She takes it

greed.
54

My girl

Bad Joe

(way.)

50

un - der - stand.

(Lewis bursts in . . . )

pain?

And watch T

47

feel this

in

She's love - ly

plain?

38

la

la

la

I'm

4. My Girl

69

na

74

na na na

Muted Tpt solo

na

na

85

90

la la la

la

la

la

na na

na


na

na

na na

Slow
Underscore

rall.

na

She does - n't

na

Slow


na

un - der - stand

Bad Joe

Why do

feel this pain?

she does - n't re - al - ise.

Tpt

rall.

Dad


She takes it

all... the wrong...

Dead Segue

10

4a. Simple Equation - Reprise


q = 160

Joe's Dad

...way
B.V.

Ooh

Aah

q = 152

Ooh

Joe's Dad

It's the


night ver - sus

17

day

of

20

own - ing

that

where



that

one

love,

fell.

if

Cos' with - out

With - out
26

or

Cam - den Town night

path that seemed right


23

up clean - ly,

what would have hap - pen'd

no



stars,

Is

no

it

so

love

sim - ple

e - qua - tion

run - ning

a - way.

So

gol - den boy Joe

there

is

no

Will

rall.



to

took the

tell.

of

sky

hard

Aah
14

this

high.

rise

4b. Magistrates Court

11

(All I Wanted/My Girl)


Q - Solicitor: "...custodial sentences..."
Dad: "Custodial?"
Joe: " ...you mean like prison?"
(Guitar)

q = 140

33

Slower

was a

want - ed

was a

Kath

All

want - ed

Kath

All

(Tpt solo)

was

Dad

when both
Dad rall.

word,

She takes

it

leave

him lone

Why do

She does - n't

all...

the

wrong

(way...)

this

path

ly

more,

for?

and

the

right

in

feel

un - der - stand

Cutoff Q - Reecey:
"Well, well, well."

the wrong

is

mo - ment

what

a chance to ask

look

Bad Joe

Dad

2nd X: Rall

a - noth - er

word,

want - ed

was a

Dad

word,

(Tpt)

word,

night.

41

44

want - ed

Kath

All

29

All

Kath

25

21

37

Q - Kath: "That doesn't mean


you're allowed to touch him."
2nd X: Rall

the

this pain?

rall.

she does - n't re - al - ise.

12

5. Baggy Trousers
Q - Reecey: "As of today . . . school's out!" (Bell rings).
Verse 1

q = 140

Reecey

Smash - ing

10


Chorus

we had

but

did it

19

Try - ing diff - erent ways

the wood - work tools.

real - ly

All

all

the rules.

the teach - ers

in

the pub,

All

to

but

the
Reecey

I learnt at school

was




at

make a diff - erence

a - gain.

Oh what fun we had

lunch - time bell will ring

turn out bad.


to

to think of when the

+ Schoolkids

how to bend not break the rule.

23

up

try - ing not

16

pass - ing round the read - y - rub,

Hav - ing fun and play - ing fools.

Oh what fun

Naugh - ty boys in nas - ty schools head - mas - ter's break - ing

13

the time

Verse 2

it seemed so bad.

days!

The head - mas - ter's had e - nough to - day


Mr Jesmond


All the kids have gone

a - way.

Gone to fight with next door's school.

Reecey


Ev - ery term that

is

the rule.

5. Baggy Trousers

26

Gang


Sits

a - lone and bends his cane,

same old back - sides


walk - ing home and squash - ing snails.


All

I learnt at school


at

38

the time

it seemed so

Dialogue (Mr Jesmond)

days

bad.

Oh what fun we had

but

Try - ing

EIGHT SEVEN


SIX

FIVE

Oh what fun

tall tales

turn out bad.

we had


make

diff - erence to



but

the

The bell goes . . .

FOUR THREE TWO ONE FREE - DOM

Verse 3
Schoolkids

57


in

real - ly

to

Lots of girls and lots

Play - ing foot - ball

did it

+ Schoolkids

diff - erent ways

the small ones tell

how to bend not break the rule.

Schoolkids

46

All

was

35

a - gain.

Chorus

29

32

13

the park.

60


Pull - ing hair and eat - ing dirt

of boys.

Lots of smells and lots

of noise.

Kick - ing push - bikes af - ter dark.

Bag - gy trou - sers dir - ty shirts


Teach - er comes to break it

up.


Back of the head with a plas - tic cup.

5. Baggy Trousers

14
Chorus
63

choir-like



Oh what fun

we had

but

did it

66


Try - ing diff - erent ways

91

real - ly

turn out bad.

Oh what fun we had



to

at

the time

Dance Break
Faster

diff - erence to

I learnt

Schoolkids

Oh what fun


we

had

was

it seemed so bad.

the

113

at school

but


make a

All

how to bend not break the rule.

69

but

at

the

time

it seemed so

bad.

q = 140
119


Try - ing

diff - erent ways

122


temp - ta - tion's on

his way.

to


make a

diff - erence to


Wel - come to

the

li - on's

1X: Reecey
2X: Reecey & Bad Joe

the

Wel - come to

den

the

li - on's


temp - ta - tion's on

his way.

den

5. Baggy Trousers

125

Reecey & Bad Joe

Wel - come to

the

li - on's

den



Schoolkids 2

his way.

Wel - come to

his way.

131

li - on's

den

Bag - gy trou - sers.

School's

out.

li - on's

den

mf

School's

out.

li - on's

den

temp - ta - tion's on

temp - ta - tion's on

his way.


Na

his way.

his way.


Temp - ta - tion's on

Bag - gy trou - sers.

Temp - ta - tion's on

the

the

Bag - gy trou - sers.


the

Wel - come to

Bag - gy trou - sers.

mf

Wel - come to


Schoolkids 3

his way.

mf gradual cresc.

128

temp - ta - tion's on

Bag - gy trou - sers.

Temp - ta - tion's on

Bag - gy trou - sers.

temp - ta - tion's on

15

his way.

na

na

na

na na


Wel - come to

the

li - on's

den

mf

Bag - gy trou - sers.

mf

School's

out.

5. Baggy Trousers

16

134

temp - ta - tion's on

his

way.

Wel - come to


Bag - gy

Bag - gy


Na

na

li - on's

na

na

na na

huh

141

huh

huh

huh

Try - ing

diff - erent ways

trou - sers.

huh

huh

to

School's

out.

Ba - ggy trou - sers


Ba - ggy trou - sers

diff - erence to

ff

Na

huh

huh

huh

huh

huh

huh

Huh

na

huh

huh

huh


but

at

the time it seemed so bad.

the

Ba - ggy trou - sers

rall.

144

Oh what fun we had

make

Huh

All
137

Huh

trou - sers.

the

na

na

Oi!

Segue

17

5a. Simple Equation (Reprise)


After applause - No cue

q = 152

rec - tion - al

in

sti - tutes

sim -ple e - qua - tion

make you cor - rect

you got - ta ex - pect

Sure - ly

you're goin'

cor -

to

em - erge

Cutoff Q Emmo: "This is nuts!"

14

It's a

11

Joe's Dad

in

world

whereyou're

on

the right path

right

mates

right girl?

18

6. Embarrassment
Q - Joe: "Take me or leave me."

q. = 152 Careers Officer

Re - ceived a

let - ter just

the

oth - er

know you no more.

With - in
10

us

13

no

Billie + Angie

16

Don't

do

that

Aunt

19

22

what

the first two lines

it

blunt - ly

come

round

here

will

the
Neighbours

think. We don't.

Our

Aunt

think,

she don't

But

I will

'cos

door.

What

on earth

did

you

wan - na

to come and see

know


they

know

Neighbours

they'll think...

score.

our

from

You're not

Aunt

their

seem they wan - na

Verse 1

Angie

you

more.

neigh - bours

giv - ing

for?

what

no

a - way

Verse 2 Emmo

keep

don't

read:

Billie

day

it down

more,

they'll

They laid

Reecey

she says

We

don't.

Aunt

That's

think

I don't.

6. Embarrassment

25

Middle

28

Lewis

Our

Lewis


race

when you're a dis - grace

to

Q to cut - Dog Man: "...Hoo hoo!"

37

43

The

49

ver -

you

Don't

want

you

home

from our

door

show

your

to

the

face,

Dialogue

race?

Security Guards

No

com - mit - ment

liv - ing en - dorse - ment.

have booked.

They

say

stay

to


Don't come round

Was an in - ten - tion that

you

Verse 3 Billie + Angie

can

looked.

How

Yes an em - bar - rass - ment

55

Q - Joe: "...and say that I'm a


reformed young offender."

in - ten - tion that

52

We are a dis - grace

you're an em - bar - rass - ment.

he says

hu - man

Uncle

Uncle

the

know

He says

46

un - cle he don't wan - na

hu - man

31

19

day

more.

way

Keep


here no

was

a - way

Verse 4 Kath

Our

dad

don't

6. Embarrassment

20

59

know

he says.

Too

late

to

re - con

wan - na

62

65

wan - na

68

71

head

know

I'm

feel -


on her

shoul

ing

twice

84

This

is

ser - i - ous

sid -

er

Emmo

Mum

ter.

mat

She Don't wan - na

as

old

she said.

der.

'Cos I'm

feel

Dialogue

ing

know

she says,

You're

Thought she had

her

as

old

twice

er

Q to cut - Clown: "...Uh-huh."

er

Everyone

gon - na

Emmo

No - one's

Slow

Emmo + Lewis

twice as old -

Q - Joe: "...and say that I'm a


reformed young offender."


feel - ing

74

I'm

Our

ya!

Lewis

Grandad

Middle Good Joe

an em - bar

rass - ment.

6a. Embarrassment Playoff TACET


6b. Baggy Trousers (Underscore) TACET

Segue

21

7. Embarrassment
(Reprise - Encouragement Version)
Q - Joe: "Ap ap ap!"

q. = 152 f

Slightly faster q. = 160

Bad Joe

Re - ceived a let - ter just the oth - er

Per - haps you might like

Ooh



15

wah

to

night,

so er...

give me

We've had se - cond thoughts a -

We had a mi - nor break - in Thurs - day

Sales Reps

11

day

bout that a - larm sys - tem.

Heather

a quote for....

Aah

London Alarms Boss


(spoken lines, no rhythm, after 'wah's)

Here he is. The rising

Ooh

star,

Joe

Casey.

As

wah.

Ooh

District Manager here at

wah.

18

London Alarms, let me congratulate you

Ooh

on

your recent

wah.

sales

figures.

Fourteen

Ooh

wah.

is

7. Embarrassment (Reprise - Encouragement Version)

22

Sales Reps

22

new

company

record.

25

He's

28

he

has

Tpt / Sax Q

59

Slower

cour

age - ment

of

The

pro - mise

a long term re - la

Sales Reps



an

that

tion -ship.

accel.

rall.

Aah

en - cour

He's

en

Aah

wah

the start

wah

Ooh
63

Instrumental - swing feel


Faster q = 170

53

an

This is

Ooh

37

liv - ing en - dorse - ment.

shown

31

age -ment.

Ooh

(slide)

wah.

7a. Baggy Trousers / Our House (Underscore) TACET

23

8. Driving in My Car
Q - Billie + Angie: "Goodbye."

q =122

Verse 1

Good Joe

I've been dri - ving in

It says Mor - ris

in

G.

P.

Guv - e - nor calls me

slob

23

but

don't

Bridge

drive in

real - ly

it

for

my

job the

Give

care.

Sax solo

Joe

bit

old

but

it's mine,

mend

it

in

Just last week

I changed the

oil

the

rock - er valves and the coil.

my spare time.

Emmo + Lewis

31

Middle

It's

34

Good Joe

be - fore.

fac - tory by the Tyne.

me some gas and the o - pen air.

28

O. owned it

bloke from Bra - zil.

on the door, the

Jag - u - ar.

20

from a

fif - ty - nine

Lewis

17

it's not quite a

in Prim- rose Hill,

13

was made in

my car

I bought it

It

Just last week he changed the oil.

Good Joe, Emmo + Lewis

Last week

it

went round the clock

al - so

had

lit - tle knock

8. Driving in My Car

24

39

Good Joe

Emmo + Lewis

dent - ed some - bo - dy's fen - der

He learnt not

62

Verse 2

ha

69

in

my

It

don't look much but I've been far.

e - ven been to Sel - sey Bill.

had her

Billie + Angie

He likes dri - ving


96

Good Joe + Sarah

in

his

car.

Don't look much but I've been far.

Good Joe

God

love this

car!

up

to

fif - ty eight.

Joe

I've

ha.

to Mus - well Hill.

I drove a - long the A for - ty - five

93

car

I drive up

73

Good Joe

I've been dri - ving

ha

to park on a ben - der

(Tpt / Sax)

66

77

42

Billie

like dri - ving in

Billie + Angie


Don't look much.

my car.

"Full stop."

25

8a - I. My Girl - Reprise (Ballad Version)

Sarah

Why can't I

10

he does - n't

un - der - stand

Ev - ery -thing I

ex - plain?


he does - n't

Dad + Sarah



rall.

re - al - ise.

He takes it

all the wrong

say

8a - II. Driving In My Car - reprise


Swing - feel q = 180

Dad

way

He's been

Salesman: "Here we are sir, I think


you'll like this one, it's a twin carb
four litre petrol-engined...

Fin - ish,

in - deed

trim, and

Underscore

dri - ving

(Tpt)

It

says

car.

Joe

in his

Salesman

cor - ri - dor.

rall.

Jag - u - ar.

Dad

11

15

is


It

on the

door.

Cli - mate con- trolled au - to - ma - tic - 'ly.

Dialogue

(Drums)

Q - Joe:
"...I give you." (Cym crash)

8b. After Driving In My Car (Cocktail Piano) TACET

26

8c. Simple Equation (Reprise)


Q - Sarah: "Depends if you're into that."

q = 160

B.V.

Ooh

11


15

Wrong

tur - ning

Dad

Ooh

As

you

but

in

the long run,

to

re

cog - nise

Dad

Dad: "Good turning bad?"

All

stand

where

wan - ted

once

was a

rain from the sun.

right

Joe: "It'd pay for a DJ"

The e - qua - tion starts sim - ple,

36

gets hard - er

19

q = 156

mf

Aah

Aah

Joe's Dad

28

stood

q = 152

Reecey: "Not your fault you can't get a job."

word
Reecey: "Not your fault your
dad doesn't own a distillery."

8c. Simple Equation (Reprise)

Dad

43


It's

47

that

Days

that

The

sha - dows

Sha - dows

50

Underscore

the
days
B.V. f

sep - a

by which

by which

sep - a

27

rate



rate

we

re - cog

we

re - cog

the night.

the night.

- nise

- nise

rall.


the light.

the light.

9. The Return of the Los Palmas Seven TACET

Dead segue

28

10. Shut Up
Q - Joe: "How brilliantly life would have turned out.
(Thunderclap.)
Copper: "Get the little scumbag!"

q. = 151

Reecey

Verse 1

I tell you

12

was - n't

17

Don't

lis - ten

to

his


Can't think of

25

Coppers

One
29

33

blame me,

side,

two

is - n't

close

ten

to


fair.

mine.

Chorus

'cos

Now

pass the blame

your

eyes

and

count

to

three.

bro

be

It

just

Reecey

The
Good Joe

it

it

three. Then I'll

Just

me some - time.

blame me.

lis

did - n't do

just

sto - ry, sure you'll find


don't

don't

20

and

there,

15

ken

was - n't me ei - ther

gone

win

and

dow

I'm just

you'll

T.

for

V.

his

mate

get.

set.

10. Shut Up 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain

Reecey

37

He told me to stand

40

kids

43

you

Good Joe

46

less

I'm

61

the

day

close

your

three.

Then

three

the

got

least

blame

bro

and

count

be

gone

think

so

win

the

blame

dow

don't

three.

three

the day - light

to

and

ken

a wife and

and

I'll

two

pass

Underscore

One

eyes

The

I've

Reecey

The long - er

straight at

Now

you I'm

Verse 2

is long.

two

Chorus Reecey + Joe

gate.

as ho - nest as

the

They'll tell

do wrong.

One

57

Just

54

and watch

know.

49

here

29

me.

you'll

for

T.

V.

Watch for Cut-off on visual punch

get.

set.

10. Shut Up 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain

30

11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day


Q - Dad: "No, no, no. Don't hit a copper. Never hit a copper!"

q = 136

X4

doo

doo

12

17

doo.

Prisoners

Try - ing

All

my

Chorus

Good Joe

hear

no

can't

them

say

To -mor -row's just

thought I'd

done my

best

get

I think that

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

no

rest.

Prisoners

Prisoners

up

say And it gets bet - ter ev - ery day.

life

27

hard

24

Doo - by doo, doo - by doo doo doo.

Down and down there is


21

Prisoners
gradual cresc.

run

out

of

I hear

them

luck.

Good Joe

I hear

them

an - oth - er day.

Good Joe

I've

Prisoners


say To -mor -row's just

an - oth - er day.

Good Joe

To - mor - row's just an - oth - er day. Walk - ing

now


O - ver

10. Shut Up 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain

31


cov - ered

ground.

There is

35

39

On

42



say

the

friend

ships

need

have

To - mor - row's just

an - oth - er day.

Girls B.V.

Ooh
Dad


If black



52

is

white

an'

them

stretch

far a - way

them

bet - ter ev - ery

day.

To -mor -row's just an -oth - er

night

is

wah

day

And paths we

- flect

Good Joe + Prisoners

say And it gets

Ooh

re

I hear

to

wrecked.

I hear

- ment

say To -mor -row's just an -oth -er day.

if

Chorus

49

chance

mo

45

I hear them

gradual cresc.

move a - round.

31

How can

take

we

e - ver hope

to

call.

10. Shut Up 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain

32



55

wah

Which will


thing

I've

been feel - ing

so

is

my

side,

on

74

I hear

in

the

It's rain - ing a - gain,

clouds

re

feel

the

no

bet

them

say

veals

blue

rain

ter

fall - ing

To -mor -row's just

ev - ery -

Walk

with

me

fill

on

my

face

could

an - oth - er day.

al

my

than stand - ing up

so much rain

now

place

rain.

In

But

down
Prisoners

the sun and the

crack

can say there is

fall - ing

gain.

fall?

low

Bad Joe +
Sarah

will

heart

77

and which

68

71

rise

61

64

Bad Joe

skies,

(Dad)

58

- most

in

the

drown.

I hear

them

10. Shut Up 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain

80

say

82



say

And

it

gets

ev - ery

I hear

them

say

doo

doo

Doo - by doo

just

doo - by

doo

say And it gets bet - ter ev - ery day.

doo



91

doo

doo.

Bad Joe +
Sarah

I hear

Doo - by doo

feel

the

rain

Doo - by doo

an - oth - er day.

hear

them

To - mor - row's

To -mor -row's just

88

an - oth - er day.

day.

To - mor -row's

bet - ter

B
85

33

just an - oth - er

I hear

them

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

them

say

To -mor -row's just


doo - by

doo

doo

doo

on

my

face

doo

doo

fall - ing

doo - by

doo

To - mor - row's just

an - oth - er day.

an - oth - er day.

10. Shut Up 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain

34


94

can say

there is

no

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

97

fall - ing

doo

doo

doo

feel

the

rain


bet - ter ev - ery day.

doo

doo.

so much rain I

(div.)

doo

hear

could al - most

doo - by

them

doo

drown.

on

doo - by

the

Doo - by doo

Doo - by doo - by doo - by doo

in

In

fall - ing

Doo - by

than stand - ing up

doo.

To - mor - row's just an - oth - er day.

place

ter

doo doo

down.

D
100

And it gets

bet

And it gets bet - ter ev - ery day.

my

face

doo

doo

say To -mor -row's just

an - oth - er day.

can say

there is

no

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

I hear

them

10. Shut Up 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain

ter

bet

doo

103

say.

And

doo

doo

105

fall - ing

place

doo

it

than

gets

bet - ter

down.

111

say

114

hear them

say

And it gets bet - ter ev - ery

Omnes

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

I hear

day.

To - mor - row's

just

them

in

the

doo

hear

- by

them

most

drown.

doo

doo.

say. And it gets bet - ter ev - ery

an - oth - er day.

hear them

hear them

say

To -mor -row's just

an - oth - er

doo

To - mor -row's just

could al

up

doo

so much rain I

an - oth - er day.

day.

In

doo

Prisoners

ev - ery

108

stand - ing

Doo - by

say To -mor -row's just

doo.

35

an - oth - er

day.

End of Act One

36

ACT TWO
12. Night Boat to Cairo
Q - Foghorn

14

28

past

38

half

(Sax)

34

42

Instrumental

mon - soon


a - float,

de - so - late shore, last

banks of the ri - ver

boat a - long the ri - ver

It's

just

On - ly

just

Don't

seem

gone noon

comes the boat

smile.

Nile.

Here

Nile.

tooth - less

(Tpt)

Dad

oars - man grins a

(Brass)

on the

(Sax)

half


on - ly

one more


to this

to

no more,

care

12. Night Boat to Cairo

46

wind in

50

his hair

rea - ches

53

prods

56

the


as

he

rea - ches

his last half

dry

land,

but

the

sound

wet sand

with

an

oar

in

Floats

off

ri - ver

The

down the

mile.

does - n't

37

damp - en

his

smile.

his hand,

floats

off

oar snaps in

Nile.

his hand be - fore he

Just

down the

ri - ver

Segue

12a. Night Boat (Vegas Underscore) TACET

Nile.

38

13. Wings of a Dove

h = 117


laugh

with

15

19


for

of

28

woh

woh

woh

woh

for

of

you're

look - ing

the wings

for the wings

of

of

dove

woh

walk

ing

woh

down.

dove

for the wings of

All

and

when

and

woh

a - no - ther

the roof - tops

for your plea - sure

Don't think for a mo - ment

woh

dove

at

of

a dove

38

Look up

round.

33

dove

Take the hand

Billie + Angie

the wings

love

for the wings of


24

Take time

11

sing

Carib Combo

woh

woh

39

13. Wings of a Dove

43

47

for the wings

of


for

56

of

woh

Hall

62

ah.

68

le

uj

Hall

le

le

uj

ah.

uj

Carib Combo
+ Gang

ah.

le

uj

Q - Bad Joe: " Could this day get any better?"

72

woh

(div.)

dove

dove

the wings

Underscore

Look up

at

the

roof - tops

ah.

when

you're

walk

ing

40

13. Wings of a Dove

76

round.

80

84

think

for

of

look

room

at

the

Cheer to the e - cho

89

woh

Yeah

yeah

yeah

woh

94

Yeah

yeah

yeah

sound?

of

dove

woh

woh

yeah

for the wings

of

of

the

al -

yeah

yeah

for the wings

hear

not

yeah

you

for the wings

can

we're

down.

ing

where

top

mo - ment

Ooh

Don't

lowed

98

Ooh

dove

dove

woh

woh

woh

woh

41

13. Wings of a Dove

103

for the wings

of

112

Everyone

yeah

yeah

yeah

Yeah

yeah

yeah

126

yeah

yeah

132

yeah

woh

woh

dove

woh

149

woh

154

yeah

yeah



woh

a dove

Yeah

yeah

yeah

woh

a dove

for the wings

for the wings

of

dove

of

of

of

woh

dove

woh

dove

woh

for the wings of

for the wings

woh

woh

for the wings

woh

yeah

yeah

woh

for the wings of

yeah

yeah

Yeah

yeah

woh

yeah

yeah.

for the wings of


144

dove

yeah

119

138

dove

Yeah

yeah

woh

woh

42

13. Wings of a Dove

159

for the wings of



dove

woh

Yeah

woh

yeah

yeah

yeah


yeah

204

208

yeah

yeah

yeah

Look

round.

up

Ooh

Don't think for a mo - ment

when

aah

the roof - tops

Woh

woh

at

woh

Woh.

Trumpet

Woh.

Ooh

woh

Woh.

of

woh

Woh.

the wings

yeah.

for

188

woh

woh

Woh.
184

woh

177

a dove

164

170

you're

walk

ing

aah

of

look - ing

down.

43

13. Wings of a Dove


213

woh

217

woh

225

woh

Yeah

yeah

yeah

woh

Yeah

yeah

yeah

woh

for the wings

of

dove

yeah

of

for the wings

of

Half speed

yeah

for the wings

woh

woh

yeah

woh

221

dove

dove

For the wings

of

yeah

rit

dove

Dead segue

44

14. One Better Day

q = 122

Dad

Ar - ling - ton
9

an
13

21

25

29

time
34

a - cross

wa

up

out

stretched
hands

words mock.

on and

in

three - piece

the

like

Sur - round - ed

by his

he

sits

while cars

pass

past

he's

try - ing

to

- ber

a while

a - go


when

peo - ple

his

stopped

in

the road.

right through the lock,

mum

- bled

words, his

fum

side.

short white
Good Joe + Dad

Takes

his

one bet -ter

on

ther

fixed a - bode

re - mem

sits

and sees

ei

no

suit

ter

Dad

man

- bled

ad - dress

stares

but

House

old

He
17


to hear him

say:

day.

line

14. One Better Day

38

Good Joe

Walk - ing 'round you

42

60

one

64

in

time

with

bet - ter

hear

sun

- shine

She's

try - ing

to

- ber

while

re - mem

a - go

when

her

say

peo - ple

stopped

the

sun

shine

rhy - thm of your

shoes.

some


beat - ing down in

Joe

mp

The

Walk - ing 'round you

hear

the

Joe (upper) / Dad (lower)


Male chorus (harmony)

times

with

shoes.

Dad

rhy - thm of your

the

the

day.

hear

67

71

times

Underscore

to

some

beat - ing down

46

45

Boys B.V. mp

feel - ing

of

ar -

feel - ing

of

ar -



The

time

14. One Better Day

46


75

riv


riv

78

ing.

ing.

When y've

no - thing

left

When y've

Slow q = 90
[Scene change]


Aah

Slower
82

Walk - ing round you some - times

87


with

the


rhy

- thm of your

to

shoes.

lose.

lose.

rall.

the sun - shine

Dad: "I stood here after


I'd come out of prison."


Hear

to

left

Dad: "You are right in my


shoes now, golden boy."

Kath

no - thing

Girls B.V.

rall.

Dialogue

Beat - ing down in

time

Segue as one

47

14a. Our House (Reprise)


Slow, colla voce

Good Joe

re - mem - ber

way

back

then

when

ev - ery - thing

we

would

have

hap - py

such a

ve - ry good time, such

fine

was

true

and

when

time,

such

Dad

time.

re - mem ber how we'd play,

simp - ly waste the

day

a - way.

Cutoff Q Mr Pressman: "Kath? Kath?"

Then we'd

say

no - thing would come be - tween us

two

drea - mers

48

15. Rise and Fall


Q - Kath: "That's all the proof I'm gonna give ya, you bastard."

Slow

Colla voce
Good Joe

rall.

These are the streets

on

sum - mer nights

sit

out

I used to walk

and talk

that's the house where

q = 122
12

used

where

to

come and stand

in

Be - ing

29

here

a - gain

- ments

won't for - get

the

rise

and

fall.

homes

where we once

can

re - call

af - ter

mile

live

a - way

walked

an - ger

the mem - ories last.

for - got - ten

mo-

Tempo I

This is the town

and

trees and grass

Chorus - Double Tempo

they'd leave their

chil - dren play

20

We used to

34


Good Joe

to live

17

24

rall.

there's no - thing left

15. Rise and Fall

37

walk - ing

now

40

are
44

round

and

round

Double Tempo

here

a - gain

for - got - ten

48

mo

ments

All

sights

can

re - call

the

rise

and

Tempo I

fa - mil - iar

Be - ing

o - pen ground.

49

Aah

Good Joe

fall.



51

The

sun

shines

East,

Aah


54

All


the

sun shines west,

but

Ca - sey Street

in the

af - ter noon

know

where the

once

a - gain

sun

shines

it's

o - ver too soon.

best

Dead Segue

50

16. House of Fun / Rise and Fall / My Girl


[ D = explosion / thunderclap ]

q = 128

House of Fun

Bad Joe

Julie

Good morn - ing miss.

11

[D]

Yes I'm

cer - tain - ly,

Good Joe

36

Ve - gas.

[D]

half past nine.

My

Julie

Good Joe

What?

I'd like to speak to Mis - ter, is - it

Pressman

Bad Joe

Sit through there, don't touch the plants, and I've count - ed all those mag - a - zines.

(shouts)

Press - man? Right.

31

this way please.

Good morn - ing miss.

Julie

meet - ing Mis - ter Press - man. He said

Ca - sey. From Las - Ve - gas,

28

Julie

name's Joe

help you sir?

14

23

Bad Joe

Can

Bad Joe

(Knock) Pressman

That's right.

Come in.

(Shut)



Joe

My

pro - t - g

Ca - sey. Mis - ter Press - man. From Las

Pressman

Pressman

pro - per - ty

de - ve - lop - er.

Bad Joe

It's

16. House of Fun / Rise and Fall / My Girl

38

in

Joe: "God, I hope I


can - I mean..."

Pressman

the blood.

51

My fam - 'ly were all build - ers. Well you're gon - na make

them real - ly proud.

Our House
41

Pressman

lit - tle

sto - ry

Coun - cil owned, we can boot them out.

48

This

old

re - luc - tant.

on.

One house seems to be

es - tate we're build - ing

rall...

"But, slight spanner in the works"

Joe.

44

lit - tle

Q - Joe:
"I'll do this by Friday the 1st."

Pause 2nd X only

Rise and Fall


B.V.
gradual cresc.


57

Ooh

Pressman

"And in

the East,

60

cross

Cam - den skies.

new

Aah

son

will

Ooh

Press - man

rise."

Ca - sey.

Pic - ture this Joe. There

On

Fri - day

the first.

a -

16. House of Fun / Rise and Fall / My Girl

52

63

Slower

If

that witch

71

is

out of

Good Joe

Joe

[D]

(Knock)

Co - sey.

Pressman

Ca - sey.

Ca - sey. Come right

in please do.

what

you

want. That's

what

I'm

here

for.

Off

you

go.

Tell me

Good Joe

74

Ca - sey Street.

Pressman

q = 128

Q - Joe: "No."

Right.

Look

76

may

got

this wrong last

My Girl

78

have

night,

but

81

the film

84

87

91

not

as nice

as

had

e - nough

of

Ju - lie

in

to

it

hard

to

Why

But

tion


want to

take.

me.

re - cep

did - n't

her.

for

She finds

o - ver - heard some plans

me

She's love - ly

to - night.

She thinks I've

thought I

Pressman

Ca - sey Street, now.... My wife's mad at

see

who's nine - teen.

16a. Scene Change (Underscore) TACET

can't

she

see?

tra - gi - cally

53

17. NW5
Q - Sarah: "You earn support, Joe. You don't marry it."

In 2
Colla Voce

Sarah

I have

watch'd

you

humb - le

I have

heard

Wit - nessed the


16

that's

for

cert

with - out you

27

ev

r'y

have

thing

be - liev - ing

rise

up

will

love

For

just

that

smile

you

ver - y

en

all

my

bring

re -mains


life

would

you

One thing

strange dis - guise

lies



burd -

life

your own

in

be - come

my

you come a - live

in

in

ain

saw

ing

23

But

Though you

20

bless

up

come

up,

you

13

climb

beg - in - nings

From ver' y
9

give

you

For

just

that

17. NW5

54

31

song

36

41

to

sing

For

just

that

smile

q = 148

Dad

Though we

57

will

you bring

mad

face

the fin

you

- ness

al

love you

all

my

grow

stack

give

For

53

would

Sarah

Saw the

49

I watched

45

up

Onl - y

life

would

62

For just that

give

song

But

you

ev

to

sing

sing

thing

eyes

that's

for

with - out you

r'y

re -mains

thing

r'y

to

Sarah + Dad

to des - pise

One thing

ev

tar - pau - lin

cur - tain

you

song

up through

just that

in

my

For

just

that

smile

would

give

cert - ain,

life

you bring

you

ev

r'y thing

17. NW5

68

For just that

smile

you bring

For just that

song

to

sing

For

just

that

smile

that

smile

73



89

55

Sarah

give

you

ev

give

you

would



94

would

B.V.

Ev

r'y

For just that

song

100

thing





105

For

just

that

smile

For that

smile

smile

give

you

you bring

For

just

that

for that

For that

song

you bring

you bring

you

ev

r'y thing

sing

that

would

song

For

you sing

just

thing

For

thing

r'y

ev

r'y

song

For that

smile

that

for that

song

For

smile

17. NW5

56

110



114

for

For

For

that

that

that

song

song

for

song

that

For

song

you

For

sing

For

that

that

that

smile

smile

smile

57

17a. Embarrassment
(Reprise - Law Firm)
Q - Sarah: "I would give everything." (She goes.)

q. = 175

Clerk

Re - ceived

10

Young man wants

us - u - al

13

Keep

Mas - sey

in

fees.

Good Joe

a - way

from

Hamp - stead.

the

Harper

got

a - ny

To - tal bas - tards,

us

door.

Try

these

young - er,

big

time

of our

mon - ey.

You're not to come see

our

day.

he has - n't

Slight - ly small - er,

- ther

I gave him a note

Clerk

Hel - lo?

just

And he says

Barrister

20

let - ter

help with some mis - sing house deeds

Good - bye.

17

23

no

more.

Har - per, Smith

cheap - er.

de - ve - lo - pers. They

just

17a. Embarrassment (Reprise Law Firm)

58

27

30

Smith

think

40

ev

just buys them the right

'ry - thing.

I've

And the thing is

All 3 Lawyers

Good Joe

Keep

a - way

Harper

from

Cam - den High Street.

On

the o - ther

Massey

Used

no

us

Smith

door.

Try

to be the El - ec - tric

fight

them.

mo - ney to

see

con - nec - tions, and pow - er, they

no

more.

that le - gal aid place

Rhi - no


sex

shop.

Harrassed Small-time Lawyer

On

51

our

And

Well then you're not to come

43

37

mo - ney

think mo - ney's

33

Massey

the one side, mul - ti - mil - lion pound de - ve - lo - pers.

bloke on le - gal aid.

Slower

59

17b. Underscore
My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation
Q - Good Joe: "The night I hit Callum I said I wished I'd never met you."

Joe: "No-one deserves to


be happy more than you."

My Girl

10

nal

cur -

will

35

tain?

One

love you

17

Sarah

Can

13

2nd X rall.

all

my

thing

1.

you

raise

fi -

that's

with - out

for

cert

2.

you

in

my

Underscore


sim - ple

e - qua - tion

Simple Equation

of wrong ver - sus right.

ain

The

life.

X4

Dad

It's the

(Hi-hat)

47

rall

life

q = 146

re - mains,

rall

ter - ror

of stand - ing

one

60

17b. Underscore (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation)

50

B.V.

mp

Ooh

North Lon - don night.


53

wa

now

watch - ing

56

wa

right

cho

sub cresc.

wa

Think - ing you'd

wa

go - ing

wa
wa
sub cresc.

wa

wrong.

White

things were

clear,

if

high?

If

things were

run

wa

wa

the right

way,

and

Aah

go - ing

Is

60

to

grey.

Show me

now,

which way's

ff

which way's high?

sen

Is this the

Earth?


Is

that

the



that

the

sky?

sky?

And if

clear.

could I

e - ven

make

hear?

him

knew

61

18. It Must Be Love


Q - Good Joe: "The company's called Pressman's." (Dialogue continues simultaneously with the music.)

q = 130

Sarah

14

18

I'd

fell

33

Sarah

love,


love

wake

is

the

say

you I


much

to

with - out

you


ev - 'ry

take

the blues

it

words.

a - way.

love.

It must be love,

more,

no - thing

ne - ver thought

need

No - thing

How can

a - bout


Good Joe

ev - 'ry night,

love,

much

up

best.

so

half as

love.

feel

It must be love,

37

41

I know that it's

the way I

Chorus

you

miss

And

way

day

I'd

this

do

As soon as

24

28

as

ne - ver thought

be

that


less,

we

can

18. It Must Be Love

62

47

51

Bless you and bless

bless

ev - 'ry

66

71

89

the

love,

love.

No- thing

hap - py

love,

love.

more,

no - thing

less,

near

be

Underscore

ev - 'ry night,

best.

I've got to be

93

you

It must be love,

Joe + Sarah

near

and the

is

be

I could - n't

It must be love,

love

oth - er way.

bees

day

61

an - y

the

Joe + Sarah

I've got to

me

birds.

57

know that

it's

you

ev - 'ry night,

you



need

ev - 'ry

to

chase

day

the

blues

a - way.

18. It Must Be Love

96

It must be love,

101

love,
108

113

love,

121

Love is

It must


be

love,

love.

love,

love.

love,

the

Slight rit.

It must

more,

best.

Q - Good Joe: "Right. I didn't know. That's very sad."


TACET

love,

love.

It must

sub mp

No - thing

be love,

It must be love,

18a. Tag after scene

love.

love.

It must

117

love.

love,

63

no - thing


be love,


be

less.

love,

64

19. The Sun and Rain


Reprise (Stallholders)
Q - Good Joe: "Could this day get any better?"

q. = 136

clouds

11

15

re

veals

blue

skies,

I've

But now

walk

with

me

fill

on

my

face

21

my

side

gain.

feel

the

can say

there is

in

the

fall - ing

no

drown.

In

Who

down

cense

burn

ers

rect

from

will buy

di

Ne

fall - ing

place.

In

so much rain I

In - di - an

rain

my

bet - ter

rain

the sun and the

my heart

the

low

so

Stallholder 1 (Male)

al - most

27

on

Than stand - ing up

24

is

been feel - ing

ev - ery thing

A crack in

a - gain,

18

It's rain - ing

Good Joe

joss

pal.

could

sticks.

65

19. Sun and Rain Reprise (Stallholders)



29

mp

Who will buy


Stallholder 2 (Male)
f

Such



32

my

fine

of

fen

joss

sive

Who

sticks.

will buy

In - cense burn - ers

shirts

my

Rude

words

In - di - an

di -

ob

joss

sticks.

mp

scene

de

signs.

Such
f

Rude

words

made from some - things you

my

In - cense burn - ers

at

of

Look

35

fine

Stallholder 3 (Female)

In - di - an

rect from Ne - pal.

wide range

of

fen

sive

ob

would

scene

de

nor - mal - ly

tic

bath

shirts

soaps

Such

fine

Who will buy

signs.

mp

ex - o

di - rect from Ne - pal.

eat.

Look at

my

Stallholder 4 (Male)

my

of

3
wide range
f

Ripe

of

66

19. Sun and Rain Reprise (Stallholders)

38

In - di - an

fen

3

ex - o

joss

sive

tic

bath

Such

fine

Look

at

my

44

rect

from

In - di - an

fen

Ne

mal

ex - o - tic

bath

ly

nor - mal - ly

signs.

eat.

big cresc

signs.

eat.

Rude

words

di -

ob

made from some - thing you would

soaps

In - cense burn - ers

shirts

pal.

de

sticks.

can - na - bis

de
3

joss

sive

scene

nor

scene

ripe.

wide range of

Ripe

would

3
f

my

of

made from some - things you

Who will buy

ob

di - rect from Ne - pal.

words

soaps

Rude

can - na - bis

Ensemble

In - cense burn - ers

shirts



41

sticks.

ripe.

67

19. Sun and Rain Reprise (Stallholders)


Good Joe +
Marketeers
48

52

feel

the

fall - ing

so much

rain

could

(Brass)

92

Good Joe +
Marketeers

my

face

Build

al -

most

(whisper)

in

the

fall -

ing

no

down

(Brass)

cresc.

can say there is

drown.

Underscore (Dance of Camden Market)

on

Than stand - ing up

76

88

place.

In

rain

55

bet - ter

58

Faster q = 164

It's rain - ing a - gain, it's rain - ing a - gain, it's rain - ing a - gain, it's rain - ing a - gain, it's

rall.

95


rain - ing

a - gain,

it's rain - ing

a - gain,

Slow cakewalk


feel

the

rain

fall - ing

68

19. Sun and Rain Reprise (Stallholders)

98

on

my

face

fall -

ing

down

101

Than stand - ing up

in

104

the

I'm hear - ing


112

ter

pat

it

pit

there is

re - flect - ing the


116

go.

132

136


bet -

139

And no - thing I
Marketeers

feel

ter

place.

In

so much rain I

rain

lights

could

ter

down.


and

have

to

do.

Than stand - ing up

al - most

drown.

so much rain I

could

place.

Bad Joe

on

It's rain - ing a - gain,

fall - ing

In

bet - ter

the

no

can say

al - most drown.

109

It's wet

splash - ing

feet.

in the

No - where to

my

face

in

the

fall -

ing

down

street

(Dialogue)

can say there is

Doo - by doo,

no

doo - by

69

19. Sun and Rain Reprise (Stallholders)

142

doo

145

149

doo

doo.

Doo - by doo, doo - by doo

The

sun

shines

Doo - by doo,



152

doo doo.

doo

doo



155

sun

doo

158

Street

doo.

shines

best

in

the

af

doo

doo

doo.

doo

doo.

doo doo.

The

sun

shines

But

know

doo - by

doo

where

the

doo

doo.

doo.

ter

sey

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

doo

Ca

doo

doo

doo.

Doo - by doo,

doo

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

east

Doo - by doo - by doo - by doo

doo - by

west

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

(Marketeers div.)

doo

doo

doo.

noon

Doo - by doo - by doo - by

70

19. Sun and Rain Reprise (Stallholders)

161

165

Once

gain

ff

it's

Aah

176

ver

too

ff

soon.

Aah

mp
want - ted was a

ff

Underscore

171

to

keep

word,
x2

Aah




mp

Aah

All

x6

(tacet 6th x)



ff

Aah

ff

a phot - o - graph

Aah

(in church)

(hum)


p

(hum)



p

rall.

1.

2.

71

19a. Simple Equation (Reprise)


Q - Sarah: "No matter how much you love someone,
Joe, there's times in life you can't say yes."

Dad

And sud - den - ly


4


slow -

ly

back

we

got

on

19

mp

the

need

friend - ships

to


have

back

to

right

Skies

all

sud -den

ly

Black

turns

rall.

come

clear.

Dialogue (Judge)

here.


mo

Bad Joe

turns

white

We see how

16

wrong

to


ment


wrecked.

to


re

rall.


flect

Segue

72

20. Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise)

6X

1-5

Q - Sarah: "Photograph!"

3X - Slower

Clarinet: 1st X only


14

Kath: "And Casey Street will be


wherever you two build it.!"
20

1.2.

25

One

thing

re - mains

that's

3.

Dad + Good Joe

Now we

for

cert

face

ain

the fi

will

nal

cur - tain?

you

all

love

Dialogue break

28

my

36

Q - Emmo: "Smile."

life

but

with - out

you

in

my

life.

Everyone


Our

house

40

Our house

in the mid - dle of

our street. Our house

is our cas - tle and our keep. Our house

in the mid - dle of

our



in

the mid - dle of

our

20. Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise)

44

Wel - come to

the house

of

fun.

Our

in

the mid - dle

of

50

Wel - come to

street.

53

fun

the

Our

now

I'm come

In

the

56

in

in

the

the

of

age

of

Wel - come to

of

fun

now I've come

of

age.

temp

ta - tion's on

of

Wel - come to

our

of

in

his

way.

the mid - dle

Our

our

our

house

of

Wel - come to

our

street.

Our

li - on's

house

street.

the

the mid - dle

of

mid - dle

the house

Our



mid - dle

house

mid - dle

Our

in

street.

our

den.

house

li - on's

den

of

the

li - on's

the mid - dle

our

in

Wel - come to

house

47

73

den

the house

our

of

house

Sarah: "Where d'you go when


you can to anywhere?"
Joe: "Let's go dancing."

74

21. Bows

14

(Brass)

(Keys 2 - Harmonica / Vibes)


19

24

Sax Solo

29

34

39

(Brass)

1.

2.

21. Bows

q = 123

(Band Bows)

45

Our House

Our

house

in

is
55

our cas - tle

Wel - come

and

our

Wel - come to

the

keep

Our

mid - dle

of

the mid - dle

our

house

of

Our

house

in

the mid - dle

of

our

to

the

house

of

fun

now

I'm

come

of

age

Our

house

in

the

mid - dle

of

the

li - on's

Our

house

den



In

the mid - dle

of

our



in

the mid - dle

of

our

57

in

52

Our house

49

street.

75

our

our

street.

street.

76

22. Encore / Play Out


"One Step Beyond"
q = 152
(Sax pickup)

13

25

45

Try - ing diff - erent ways


we


to

had

but

make a diff - erence to

the


at

the

time

it seemed so

Company

Oh what fun
58

(Baggy Trousers)
52

(Sax solo)

18

bad.

22. Encore / Play Out

Oh what fun we had

but

75

78


make

diff - erence to

the

81


Ba - ggy trou - sers

77

at

the time

it seemed so bad.

X3 gradual cresc.

Ba - ggy trou - sers

Last x Rall

Na

na

na

Play Out
1

TACET

End

Try - ing diff - erent ways

to

Ba - ggy trou - sers

na

Oi!

APPENDIX - MUSICAL NUMBERS


WRITER / PUBLISHER CREDITS

RETURN OF THE LOS PALMAS SEVEN


Words and Music by Michael Barson, Mark Bedford and Daniel Woodgate
Copyright 1980 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

OUR HOUSE
Words and Music by Christopher Foreman and Cathal Smyth
Copyright 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

SIMPLE EQUATION
Words and Music by Christopher Foreman and Graham McPherson
Copyright 2002 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

MY GIRL
Words and Music by Michael Barson
Copyright 1979 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

BAGGY TROUSERS
Words and Music by Michael Barson, Christopher Foreman, Graham McPherson,
Cathal Smyth, Daniel Woodgate, Lee Thompson and Mark Bedford.
Copyright 1980 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

EMBARRASSMENT
Words and Music by Michael Barson and Lee Thompson
Copyright 1980 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

DRIVING IN MY CAR
Words and Music by Michael Barson
Copyright 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

SHUT UP
Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Christopher Foreman
Copyright 1981 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

THE SUN AND THE RAIN


Words and Music by Michael Barson
Copyright 1983 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

TOMORROWS JUST ANOTHER DAY


Words and Music by Cathal Smyth Michael Barson
Copyright 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

NIGHT BOAT TO CAIRO


Words and Music by Michael Barson and Graham McPherson
Copyright 1979 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.Publisher: Carlin Music Corp.

WINGS OF A DOVE
Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Cathal Smyth
Copyright 1983 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

ONE BETTER DAY


Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Christopher Foreman
Copyright 1984 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

RISE AND FALL


Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Christopher Foreman
Copyright 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

NW5
Words and Music by Michael Barson, Christopher Foreman, Mark Bedford,
Graham McPherson, Lee Thompson, Daniel Woodgate and Cathal Smyth.
Copyright 2007 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

IT MUST BE LOVE
Words and Music by Labi Siffre
Copyright 1971 by Groovy Music Ltd. / Chrysalis Songs Ltd.