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Boot device
2. 20 GB
3. Intel core i-2400, 1 GB ram
4. Microsoft, 1 processor, 3.10 GHZ intel i5-2400
4. 1 GB ram
5. 0
6. 14 and 15
7. Direct access memory controller
8. 0x0000001F0-0x000001F7
9. 2
10. A C D
11. Disk drive
12. Virtual machine
13. 1212
14. 6
15. 45
It all started when our predictably heroic hero, Bill Brasky, woke up in a fo
xy forest. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling exceedingly angered, B
ill Brasky hit a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual
, it did not). Just as zero people expected he realized that his beloved iPad wa
s missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, L
eroy Jenkins. Bill Brasky had known Leroy Jenkins for (plus or minus) one millio
n years, the majority of which were enticing ones. Leroy Jenkins was unique. Sh
e was clever though sometimes a little... annoying. Bill Brasky called her anywa
y, for the situation was urgent.
Leroy Jenkins picked up to a very nervous Bill Brasky. Leroy Jenkins calmly a
ssured him that most legless puppies yawn before mating, yet man-eating capybara
s usually indiscriminately turn red *after* mating. She had no idea what that me
ant; she was only concerned with distracting Bill Brasky. Why was Leroy Jenkins
trying to distract Bill Brasky? Because she had snuck out from Bill Brasky's w
ith the iPad only five days prior. It was a electric little iPad... how could s
he resist?
It didn't take long before Bill Brasky got back to the subject at hand: his i
Pad. Leroy Jenkins sighed. Relunctantly, Leroy Jenkins invited him over, assurin
g him they'd find the iPad. Bill Brasky grabbed his hippopotamus and disembarked
immediately. After hanging up the phone, Leroy Jenkins realized that she was in
trouble. She had to find a place to hide the iPad and she had to do it skillful
ly. She figured that if Bill Brasky took the deliciously practical 4-door, she h
ad take at least six minutes before Bill Brasky would get there. But if he took
the Segway? Then Leroy Jenkins would be abnormally screwed.
Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Leroy Jenkins was interru
pted by eleven dimwitted marmots that were lured by her iPad. Leroy Jenkins yawn
ed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling angered, she randomly reached for her live
hand grenade and carefully deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this w
as an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward t
he magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That'
s when she heard the Segway rolling up. It was Bill Brasky.
----o0o---As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unschedule
d stop at Wal-Mart to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was runnin
g late. With a mighty leap, Bill Brasky was out of the Segway and went surrepti
tiously jaunting toward Leroy Jenkins's front door. Meanwhile inside, Leroy Je
nkins was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the iPad into a box of dull penci
ls and then slid the box behind her whale. Leroy Jenkins was exasperated but at
Less than eight miles away, Leroy Jenkins was entombed by anguish over the lo
ss of the iPad. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened dange
rous oil-soaked rag. With a deft thrust, she buried it deeply into her double c
hin. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Bill Brasky... wishi
ng she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him. But she would die
alone that day. All that remained was the iPad that had turned them against eac
h other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling
branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was
the chilling cry of distant marmots, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous
men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroe
s would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, n
o one lived forever after, the end. :'(
LOLz!!1
*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-present
*** Forever pwning with earnest.