Songs from a

Quest to Peace
Volume 7

Copyright 2014 by Kings of Peace, written by Goss Lindsey

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be sold for profit. This publication may
be freely distributed in electronic format only. For permission or other requests, write to
the publisher, goss.lindsey@gmail.com. Website: www.kingsofpeace.com

Contents
mask of normal ................................................................................................................. 3
reaching into dark places ................................................................................................. 5
so gladly would I offer ..................................................................................................... 6
positive ............................................................................................................................... 7
The dreams and the dreamer .......................................................................................... 9
sacrifice of the ego's dream........................................................................................... 11
this little seed ................................................................................................................... 12
sandcastles........................................................................................................................ 14
seeking in the cold .......................................................................................................... 17
the gauge of peace .......................................................................................................... 19
dreams of ......................................................................................................................... 21
so we may speak it .......................................................................................................... 22

mask of normal
in a place where we would let others slaughter meat for us
yet back away from blood on our own hands
with no judgment on the butcher
nor the purchaser
let us look
with my napkin in my lap and elbows off the table
my mother smiled as now
I too tell my children the same
teaching them how to appear to the world
and fit upon their little faces
a mask of normality
the world's harsh eyes will judge every ounce
of what is perceived to be normal or not
let me slip on this mask just enough
to squeeze by another day
for there may be a day that comes
no longer can I even pretend
let me take this mask and try
one more day
to live in a world I do not understand
its corporate eyes like lasers
beaming coldness that would
seal the hearts of so many
tonight I take this mask
and rip it from my skin
let me swim the seas and hunt
like a shark
and kill for my own food
finally breathing again in the open water
soul passing the steel cage bars that confine my body
as I sit down before this page
naked as I could ever be
and tell of what lies beneath
swimming to seek the wild and strange night
3

where the stars above dream of passion

and the earth beside dreams of laughter
and water around soars feeling through my veins
I close my eyes again and go inside
there beneath the mask I wore
was only that which was left
bare and gently standing
before my Father
breathing again and not covered in layers
full of love that I would have this chance
to be maskless and vulnerable
for to the world a loving heart
is not normal
or understood

reaching into dark places

like bears awakening from hibernation
and groundhogs peeping through the earth
to see the first light from the sun
we rise through our holes
we come from all religion and no religion
sent to infiltrate every last mind
clinging to stand firm in the dreams they worship
to all we carry the message
of peace
we use words and no words
we come in all forms and speak different tongues
as words could never represent the true meaning
of that of which we sing
they act only as reminders
the song remains the same
and gladly we sing
my prayer is this the blessed moment of each brother rising
finding the voice of peace
that we may see the vision
our very hearts both wordless and worded
would carry to every mind in a peace less place
as the sound reaches through all things
and as each brother rises
so we multiply not in a linear fashion
but exponentially
let us not question the song
in an attempt to be either bold or humble
for the song is meant only be sung as it comes to our hearts
for through us the song of our Father
may reach those in dark
places

so gladly would I offer

I close my eyes and see those around me
from my youth and still today
as everything I have of this world
was in some way given to me
that I would dwell in this body
and lie in this bed with this roof
even the shoes I walk with
I did not make
how many times have I been carried
how many ways have I been loved
to bring me back into my heart
after a dark lonely walk
so gladly would I reach in my heart
so gladly would I offer you all I have
I laugh at so many things I do so poorly
and see so many with gifts
I know nothing of
not knowing north from south sometimes
feeling lost in such a strange world
that you would have carried me so far
but when I reach inside
I cannot build your roof nor make your shoes
all I have for you is this song
so gladly I would sing it
for it is meant for you as my small offering
so gladly would I smile with you within a soft hour
of a short time together
with gratitude I only hope you can see
my smile is because of you
wishing I could give you more
but so gladly I would offer
this short song and smile
as it was meant for you
6

positive
positive is like a cookie I achieved
full of delight and joy and then gone
all physical form ends in a neutral state
peace is like the earth beneath my feet when I walk
I feel it everywhere and when I forget what becomes me
Spirit is met and to this I return as I roll along its belly
if I could take off this skin you will see a scar upon my heart
and you would see the memory of a man who knows what it is like
to die in anger and hatred
and when the world holds out an offering
a token of some form of a gift from it
it is meaningless to the deeper part of me
I have seen leaders like puppets dangling in the faces of the world
and watched people argue their sides
when I close my eyes I see great leaders beside a campfire
and they were our chosen because they had not lied to us, even once
when I open my eyes I do not discriminate from the ways of this world
I see every gift and I smile
but for a different reason
to cry tears after a pay raise and know the reason I cried
was because it could not change who I was any more than
if my very job was taken
if you see trace lines of past pain
it does not haunt me
I carry it like an old friend and memory of that which
lost what was once my faith in the world and its ways
when I see you I see myself
sometimes so much so these words could not tell you
it bursts out of me and Spirit dances
as I watch both grateful and confused

I know many have not struggled with the same demons

inter-dimensional confusion and pain
but I kneel down and say this
if peace is not what one seeks I cannot make sense
a man who in the beginning wanted nothing more
than to not die in anger
the road has carried me far beyond what I knew
to be possible inside
and I will only kneel before this soft heart
again and again
walk with me and I will walk with you
as our Father may guide us to just one more
Amen

the dreams and the dreamer

he sold me his dreams
I bought them for myself
they danced like candies to a child
bright and tasty
one day, one fine day they would bloom
the taste was sweet but always
left me hungrier for more
and when they were gone
I sat alone and waited for his return
one day at about twenty
I had my first dream of stillness
the peace penetrated my being until
I did not know if I was on that beach
or lying in my bed
he sold me his dreams
of greatness and success
I hung them like clothes on a line
across the yards of my mind
his images hypnotized me
and I believed there was something for me
I could keep and hold forever
it was only a matter of time
one day I saw through his eyes
and I bought not one dream more
the colors faded to darkness
and the stories unfolded in the lie of hope
in tomorrow
hope cannot anchor in the sea of peace
for it implies a lack
and spirit lacks nothing
he still shows me his great dreams
but I buy none anymore
9

no anger, only a smile

sweet ego of deception
the dreamer who only can know
his little dreams
Father meet me in the place
my mind is not mad and chasing what I am not
hold me in my dreams too,
for this is where you first cracked me

10

sacrifice of the ego's dream

I imagined a good old fashioned gunfight
along a hot southern dirt road by a saloon
just me and him
I had wrestled my own mind for years
and deep down always doubted
I could best the darker pull
of remaining the shell of myself
there were times I wondered if he
would return
but I always knew he would
one day I saw a table set
in my own home
and realized it was I who set the table
It was like my best and worst friend
whom I hated and loved
I saw too much of a sacrifice
in losing what we had built
no world to blame anymore
no forced illusion
just my own wretchedness
hoping he still had something for me
one day a door was opened
like uncovering Oz
I saw what he was
chained and bound
hurt and in pain
dark and thrashing
there was no final battle
or great tale for me to speak of
and what was once seen as a sacrifice
was only a soft offering

11

this little seed

one day was remembered
awoken in the soil of my heart
it was the song of stillness and peace
that watered it until it began to rise
through the hard cold heavy dirt
smothering like the ways of the world
but the seed knew the sun
like peace knows the Father
and the little seed grew
until the earth finally broke
and it smiled unto the sun
this is a vision
this is a prayer
I know nothing of how this small seed
began to bloom with a flower
I know nothing of the miracle
of life and how it has grown
this vision is a reminder
I do not know what is possible
I have only seen the miracle as it is so far
the prayer is a reception
I am willing to bloom
limitless light, boundless as this once small seed
would grow as the sun would shape it
would it be harder for the sun to grow
a single flower than a rampant grove of beauty
would I be the judge and limitation
of this miracle I do not understand
my prayer is simple
I see in my mind the meeting of many
beautiful vines extending
unable to be contained by dirt
colors of all kinds singing, blooming, rejoicing
12

this is my greatest vision

I have never wanted this more
let me not stop the blooming
of this little seed

13

sandcastles
walking the shoreline
we see a young child cry
as a wave washes over the sandcastle
they built
we remember the day we once
thought it was going to last forever
and once cried at what we would smile at today
it seems so easy now
walk with me down the beach
for a minute
and let us fly into the air
and smile
look and look again
that we would see sand as sand
and nothing more
I remember thinking much about what Jesus meant by
"give to Caesar what is Caesar's"
I saw a dollar in one hand
and a quarter in the other
that one would take a tree and a rock
and make this bill and coin
the coin makers always get their coins back
as those who seek power find it
I saw only part of what these words meant
taking another step back from the palm trees
and into the sky
we watch the big ball of earth we dwell upon
circling and rotating
like food it digesting itself
nothing new is created, only recycled
only temporarily changing structures
form upon form lusting to devour so it may live
it is all the sand knows
it does not know it cannot hold its form
14

this is not a judgment on the tree or rock or coin

for one who knows what they are
cannot be hurt by what they are not
and needs not fear them
and most beautifully
as when the body is seen for what it is
its blessing of its harmlessness is seen
yet the coins weigh the very soul lusting them
deep into the sand
for they do not know
what can be preserved and what cannot
moving back into the vastness we look and look again
always
look and look again
for the veil of what can be bound
and what cannot
always will fall to reason
it is the extensiveness we do not understand in the beginning
but soon will see
the same as the same
and all sand as sand
shake the mind along the trip across the sand
to peace
it may be dark and uncomfortable for a moment
but vision always comes
as we walk along the beach
we are reminded the sand itself
comes from our Father
though many minds together who know not
what they are
can make insane dreams
in a mad attempt to make
the sandcastles real
what cannot be changed
and what can be changed
15

is the recognition of what we are

and blessed do we walk as we sing
though few will hear what the words say
we sing until our voices have no sound
and just before the sun sets
as we become tired and our hearts become heavy
we see a child build a castle
and as the waves wash it away
they only smile and build another
that they heard, that they knew,
that they saw past their own eyes
the sandcastle was not forever
made every last walk and song we sang
worth it

16

seeking in the cold

once I lived in a small wooden shack
I had no heat only a candle
I had no bed only a floor
but at least I had a small roof
I heard stories of a great mansion on a hill
where no one was cold or hungry
and there was room for all who would enter
sometimes in the darkest of nights
I thought I would see its lights glimmer through the trees
the scariest moment of my life
was setting upon the journey of what seemed like outside
through the unforgiving snow, seemingly endless night, and cold winds
the hardest moments of my life
came along this walk
and so many times I missed the shack
and the small roof I once had
yet I could not return
like a father to a son I grab my young hand in a dream of yesterday
the son who was so scared for so long
wishing so badly I could have told him
reminded him to look for the beacon of light as it alone
would lessen the time of confusion and walking
during the harsh gnawing seconds I trodded
how many times did I get confused
and look to understand answers along the way
to understand the snow, the wind, and often the darkness
enveloping all of the vision of my eyes
how many more days did I wander
losing sight of the simple purpose of the home I was seeking
confused in concepts and ideas slowing my travel
one day sitting in a warm room looking out the window
I had forgotten about so many things I once dreamed of
so many questions no longer did I care about

17

I was only glad to be warm and safe

but what I could see were some answers
I could not see from the cold snow
they gave me nothing I would need to share
other than a soft smile of irony
and most of all the reminder of intent
that God would guide us home
was enough
that seeking His Home and not losing purpose
the promise would be fulfilled in time

18

the gauge of peace

through the pair of eyes we may see our brother
and there are only two
would they imprison us to what we are not
or release us into the peace of God
the eyes of the world meet
the eyes of God
in the middle clashing in direct contrast
the eyes of our body
would teach us our brother remains apart
as this is only what they can see
where belief in his judgment is certain
and fear remains of what he would take from us
the eyes of our Father
would show through the insane dream
the temporary shell of our brother would fall
until we see only ourselves in him
and to place of judgment upon one
no longer is a place we attempt to sit
and acceptance of a lost mind
is a call only to the Father reaching through us
to one in confusion and pain
as once we believed we could forgive as the forgiver
the completion of peace comes soon enough
when it is clear we could not alter the Law of the Kingdom
as already fully forgiven both we and our brother stand before It
forgiveness was for us to learn the truth
of what we are
and in our offering of it
so we learn what our brother is to us
the gauge of peace
can be seen
and dreams of our brother's suffering and death
even the most seeming deserved
are replaced by the will to his peace
the unhealed mind is split
19

and still sees with both pairs of eyes

fear not the eyes that dream of your enemy
fear not the judgment it would carry
nor seeking the door in which this part of us lives
like a child these eyes
know no other way
the beautiful song remains the same
the road to our very truth is found
in its seeking
my prayer is in our attestment
we would forgive to unveil
the layers appearing to rest outside of what has no outside
layer by layer both we and our brother are undone
as our Father guides and holds us
the gauge of peace is fulfilled in His vision
when we cannot but recognize those standing before us
are seen as we see ourselves
blessed may we see
through mad dreams and unto peace
Amen

20

dreams of
and in the days
your thoughts were of a crown
and winning was sign of your success
and in the nights
your dreams spoke of a castle
gold and riches one day to stumble upon
let me tell a story of a death
a most welcomed death from the memory of
a most strange dream
the dream believed peace was to be found
in the fruits of trees among woods in which I lived
the dream could not understand
fruit was only fruit
the dream was dark and cold and I had terrible fear
in my own failure to win
it offered only nightmares of lying beside a hard lonely road
having given my all now tired
wanting to quit but not knowing
how
the dream knew no other way to anything
like a madman it drove my body
seeking for peace in the only world it knew
dreams of these I remember
their need to prove to be loved
their need to be great for themselves
the trembling of what lied within
dreams of
quiet crept in slowly
month by month
year by year
dreams of peace
slow and strong like waves
began to wash the struggle
21

and the statues clouding

the view
our Father would show us great healing
in our dreams
and when they are of, with, and joined to Him
let us be thankful
we know these dreams we share
for they dream of
peace
they require not a crown
they require no more earth to hoard
let us seek Him as we lie to sleep
and allow His dreams of
love to enter
Amen

22

so we may speak of peace

let us learn of it
so we may speak it
as once we had no words
but began to learn the tune
let us see it
recognizing of what we stand for
and every day the lyrics
shine before our eyes
let us read of it
when we are confused
and hear it too
when we are still before Him
so we may rejoice
once the chords
sat heavy on fingers
and the guitar played
so awkwardly
and our skill has but increased
sweet chords now we strum
singing words once slightly covered
and hard to find lyrics for
so we may speak it
that we have heard it
and our joy when another brother
can say the words out loud
the sun shines on the fearless
that would speak of Him
He asks not for our silence
but our willingness
with sweet peace and solid footing
we stand as who we are
remembering where we are from

23