Why Study Politics?

by Oliver Bartrum

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Why Study Politics?

GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

84

Instructor
A superb essay f rom start to f inish. You should
be extremely pleased with this - I know I am.

/100

You have thought very hard about this essay,

and come up with a clever answer to the question
- one which also allows you to be critical, in
general and in particular. Excellent!
You have also researched this well, drawing on a
f ew good sources (you will doubtless read more
f or your assessed essays) but importantly,
seeing connections between them. It's rare to
see undergraduates grasping these ideas so
quickly - I am highly impressed.
Your comments are a bit harsh at times and you
understate the problem that corruption has
posed in the real world, f or thousands of years.
It's pretty clear (see e.g. Buchan and Hill) that
there has long been a notion of corruption as
the misuse of public of f ice f or private gain, and
that this has led to many political and economic
problems. T he f act that we don't all agree on a
def inition of corruption doesn't stop T HAT
def inition of corruption being worth studying, f or
example.
Of course, you only have 1500 words, and you've
(legitimately) gone right to the limit, so I know
there is only so much you can say. And my
criticism here is not meant to detract f or a
millisecond f rom the excellent answer you've
given to the question. T he f act that your answer
is prescriptive is also very powerf ul.
Overall, a superb answer - well thought-through,
strongly critical, and mostly well argued. Great
stuf f !
(1) ANALYSIS AND UNDERST ANDING
Superb, despite the odd overstatement.
(2) SELECT ION AND COVERAGE OF MAT ERIAL
Very good.
(3) ST RUCT URE AND ORGANISAT ION
Excellent.
(4) ST YLE AND USE OF LANGUAGE

Very good.
(5) REFERENCING
Bibliog not quite right.
(6) ANY GENERAL GUIDANCE
You've set a high standard here and we want you
to keep aiming high.

PAGE 1

Comment 1
An excellent intro.

Comment 2
delete

Comment 3
OK, this just about works.

Comment 4
Good. (Also politicians, interest groups, philosophers, and commentators on politics, have
identif ied corruption as a problem since Greek times. But your point is still a good one.)

Comment 5
Yes
PAGE 2

Comment 6
I don't f ully agree with your argument in this para and the previous one, but it's a clever
criticism well made - great!

Comment 7
Good.
PAGE 3

Comment 8
Yes.

Comment 9
You haven't shown this to be the case!

Comment 10

She probably can't do so because the numbers arguably just don't stand up to the weight
she wants to place on them.

Comment 11
Good!

Comment 12
Alphabetical, volume/page numbers f or journal articles, italics, etc. - quite a bit to improve in
your bibliog.