From Bad To Worse

by Ella Kalnes
Last summer, I auditioned for Rent at my local theater. I've never had a good audition,
but I could definitely tell that this was a bad one. From the minute I walked in the door, I felt
completely out of place. Everyone was older, wiser, and more experienced than I was and I let it
get to me. We started with the vocal auditions. This is both my favorite and least favorite part of
an audition. I love watching other actors perform, but their talent strikes a nerve in me and I start
to compare myself to them. I can't sing that high. I can't belt that loud. I can't walk with the
confidence that they do. It's ridiculous and yet I can't help myself.
My audition was right after one of my friends so I took solace in that. I made sure to drink
water before I went up and tried to hide the fact that I was shaking. When I got on stage I went
over to the pianist to give her my music and told her where I wanted to start. She had me sing a
few bars of the song so she could figure out the tempo and I made the mistake of trying to
gauge her reaction to my voice. Obviously, the quality of my singing was the last thing on her
mind but, again, I let it get to me. The pianist gave me an indulgent smile and the person
helping her with the sheet music made no expression at all. I became more nervous.
Once I actually started singing for the directors, everything went fairly well. I didn't sound
good or bad, just in tune. I tried to make up for the blandness of my audition by acting, but it
seemed like a lost cause. I have this problem with auditions where I let my nerves affect me and
I don't perform to my best ability. That's what hurts the most. The feeling that I couldve done
better, but I chose not to. The fact that I'm the person holding myself back. I know I can sing the
song better. I've practiced it at home for months, yet when I walk into that room all my
confidence fades away. It's strange because once I'm cast in a show, I don't feel nervous at all.
When I'm cast, I feel that the director knows I can do it and I don't worry about it anymore. I can
sing, dance, act without worrying at all because I know that someone has confidence in me. If
only I could go into an audition with that mindset.
After the vocal auditions we were taught a few dances. I'm a good dancer in the sense
that I can physically go through the motions, but I'm terrible at learning things quickly. In past
rehearsals, I would make a fool of myself the first day, go home and practice for a few hours,
and then come back the next day with the dance memorized. So dance auditions are hard for
me. Especially in a show like this where the women are supposed to be sensual and
provocative. I am anything but. The worst part of this whole ordeal was when we were told to
improvise. I hate improv. Whether it's acting or dancing, I can't do it. I like to have a script or
choreography to fall back on. Long story short, the dance didnt go well.
I felt really foolish by the time the audition was over so my friend Rebekah came over to
cheer me up. She explained that Rent isn't just about being sexy. It's about appreciating the
arts, getting through life, and relying on friends. And I'm really glad she reminded me of that
because those were the qualities that drew me to the show in the first place. Unfortunately, I
didn't feel like those were the qualities being tested during auditions. Needless to say, I didn't

make the show and I think that was for the best. If I felt this out of place during auditions,
imagine how I would've felt as a part of the cast.
Over the years, I've had several people ask me why I continue to do all of this. Why I
keep going to auditions with so little confidence or talent. Logically, it seems like I should cut my
losses and find a new hobby, but there's one problem: I love it. I love going to rehearsals every
day. I love being part of a cast. I love the adrenaline I get when I'm on stage. Performing is a
feeling that's indescribable and once you feel it, you become addicted. Ive met so many actors
who want to give up acting because things arent moving quickly enough or theyre not getting
the roles they want but I feel the opposite. After being turned down for a role, I find myself
feeling even more determined to act than I was before. I just can't imagine a life where I'm not
on stage so Ill do whatever I can to stay there.

Feedback Guide
Name:_______________________________

Period:_________

The following guide to feedback rates the students demonstrated achievement for each of the standards of
the assignment. The following scale is used:
Level of Demonstrated Achievement

Descriptor

Excellent

Proficient

Adequate

Limited

Incomplete

Purpose (X 2.5): 4
Conveys a significant literacy event that considers the entire rhetorical situation
Genre (X2.5): 4
Captures the authors moment and demonstrates the significance of this moment by containing an
explicit or implicit thesis that unifies the piece, using vivid detail, and demonstrating sophisticated
reflection
Design/Layout:4
Effectively uses columns, font/spacing/size to make the reading experience enjoyable, and includes a
title and the authors name in the appropriate place
Audience (X2.5):3.5

 Uses vocabulary appropriate for a college audience, assumes a level of intelligence and sophistication
for the audience, adheres to the rules and conventions of mechanics, spelling, usage and grammar, and
uses a style that fits with the concept of a narrative so the audiences expectations are met
Stance(X2): 3.5
Uses the narrative to offer an argument about literacy, includes a consistent tone that presents the
authors take on the event, and takes risks in that it offers the reader some insight into the author
Summative Grade Conversion
Each 4 point scale for the rhetorical situation will totaled and averaged. The resulting score on the 4 point scale will
then be converted to a percentage using the following scale:

Scale Score

Percentage Score

100

3.5

95

3.0

88

2.5

80

2.0

75

1.5

67

1.0

60

Below 1.0

50