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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Chapter 6
Writing Good- and Neutral-News
Messages
Learning Objectives
1. Describe the deductive outline for good news and routine information, and its
adaptations for specific situations and for international audiences.
2. Prepare messages that convey good news, including thank-you and appreciation
messages.
3. Write messages presenting claims and requests and favorable responses to
them.
4. Write message acknowledging customer orders, providing credit information,
and extending credit.
5. Prepare procedural messages that ensure clear and consistent application.

Chapter Overview
Good-news and neutral-news messages are included together in this chapter
because the outlines for these communications are both deductive. Strategies and
examples are presented for the creation of positive news messages, appreciation
messages, routine claims and requests, routine messages about orders and credit,
and procedural messages. Strategies for the use of form documents and for
adapting messages sent to international audiences are also presented.

Key Terms
Acknowledgment message 97
Adjustment messages 90
Claim 90
Deductive (or direct) sequence 85
Good-news messages 84
Neutral-news messages 84
Persuasive claims 90
Persuasive requests 93
Resale 91
Routine claims 90
Routine requests 93
Sales promotional material 91

PowerPoint Slides

Lecture Slides Students can review key chapter concepts on the Lecture
Slides (found on the companion website (Students Resources)). Slides can be
downloaded for convenient printing of handouts for taking class notes.
Slide Number and Title
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

1. Chapter 6 Delivering Good- and Neutral- News Messages


2. Learning Objectives
3. Direct Outline Used in Good- and Neutral-News Messages
4. Advantages of the Deductive Outline
5. Types of Good-News Messages
6. Making the Most of Appreciation Messages
7. Distinguishing Between Resale and Sales Promotion
8. Requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act
9. Extending Credit: Write Deductively
10.Guidelines for Procedural Messages
E-lectures Slides with engaging narration of key conceptsuseful as
reinforcement of lectures and exam reviewsare available through the
CourseMate site for BCOM3.
Resource Slides A larger deck of slides for instructors for displaying in the
classroom; these slides for class enrichment and solutions to activities and
applications are also available at the companion website (Instructors Resources)
and on the Instructors CD.
Slide Number and Title
1. Chapter 6 Delivering Good- and Neutral- News Messages
2. Learning Objectives
3. Learning Objective 1 Describe the deductive outline for good news and
routine information, and its adaptations for specific situations and for
international audiences.
4. Direct Outline Used in Good- and Neutral-News Messages
5. Advantages of the Deductive Outline
6. Learning Objective 2 Prepare messages that convey good news, including
thank-you and appreciation messages.
7. Types of Good-News Messages
8. Positive News Message: Why It Works
9. Benefits of Written Appreciation Messages
10.Making the Most of Appreciation Messages
11.Using Written Appreciation Messages Appropriately
12.Appreciation Message: Why It Works
13.Handling Apologies
14.Apology Message: Why It Works
15.Distinguishing Between Resale and Sales Promotion
16.Learning Objective 3 Write messages presenting claims and requests and
favorable responses to them.
17.Routine Claim: What Does Not Work
18.Routine Claim: Why It Works
19.Learning Objective 4 Write message acknowledging customer orders,
providing credit information, and extending credit.
20.Requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act
21.Extending Credit: Write Deductively
22.Learning Objective 5 Prepare procedural messages that ensure clear and
consistent application.
23.Guidelines for Procedural Messages
24.Procedural Message: Why It Works
25.Procedural Message: What Does Not Work
26.Procedural Message: Why It Works
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Chapter Outline
DEDUCTIVE ORGANIZATIONAL PATTERN 84
GOOD-NEWS MESSAGES 86
Positive News 86
Thank-You and Appreciation Messages 88
ROUTINE CLAIMS 90
Claim Message 90
Favorable Response to a Claim Message 90
ROUTINE REQUESTS 93
Routine Request 93
Favorable Response to a Routine Request 93
Positive Response to a Favor Request 93
Form Messages for Routine Responses 95
ROUTINE MESSAGES ABOUT ORDERS AND CREDIT 95
Acknowledging Customer Orders 97
Providing Credit Information 97
Extending Credit 98
PROCEDURAL MESSAGES 100

Teaching Suggestions
Learning Objective 1
Describe the deductive outline for good news and routine information, and its
adaptations for specific situations and for international audiences.
Introduction
Project the visual and discuss the wide variety of channels available for business
communicators.
Point out the three main types of channelswritten, electronic, and spokenand
options available in each.
Remind students of previous discussions of channel choice based on receiverreaction, the importance of the message, and the need for permanent record of
the message.
Resource slide 8, Ch 1: Communication Channels

Review the concepts from Adapting the Message to the Audience from Chapter
3. Ask students to read the following article as a springboard for discussing why
these principles are important:
Heath, J.M., & Lang, E.J. (2005). How to write things people will read. Subiaco,
WA: Viacorp.com. Retrieved from http://www.viacorp.com/how-to-write-thingspeople-will-read.pdf

DEDUCTIVE ORGANIZATIONAL PATTERN


Show the visual displaying the four receiver reactions introduced in Chapter 3 as
you discuss the need to assess the receivers likely reaction to a message.
Resource slide 26, Ch 3: Step 4Select an Appropriate Outline

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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Show the deductive outline used when the reader will be pleased or interested
(left) as you discuss the sequence of the good- or neutral-news messages. Refer
students to Figure 6-1, page 86.
Resource slide 4: Direct Outline Used in Good- and Neutral-News Messages

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Discuss the advantages of the deductive sequence as you display the visual. Use
the Check Your Communication checklist in the Student Review card as a basis
for discussion.
Resource slide 5: Advantages of the Deductive Outline

Ask students to complete Activity 1 that require the revision of the openings of
several messages so they are deductive. Project the answers provided on
resource slides as you review the principles of an effective deductive response.
Refer to Activities 2 and 3 discuss which opening statement and closing
statement is preferable for a positive response message.

Have students study the ineffective and effective applications of the deductive
outline illustrated in the sample documents. Point out the ineffective icon that
appears above the examples of poor composition. Model documents also appear
on the companion website for additional review of effective message
composition.

Learning Objective 2
Prepare messages that convey good news, including thank-you and appreciation
messages.
GOOD-NEWS MESSAGES
Discuss with students the different types of good news messages (shown on the
slide). Ask students, How can you determine whether a message is good news
or routine news?
Discuss with students the need to always consider receiver reaction to
determine into which category a message will fall.
Resource slide 7: Types of Good-News Messages
Positive News Messages
Emphasize placing the important information, the good news, at the beginning
of the message because the receiver wants to know now.
Discuss the sample good news memo on the visual. Point out the information at
the beginning, middle, and end. Remind students of the need for a forwardlooking closing.
Resource slide 8: Positive News Message: Why It Works
Thank-You and Appreciation Messages
Emphasize that writing these messages is a part of civic responsibility and stress
the following points:
The motive of letters that commend should be to encourage and to give
deserved recognition.
Saying something favorable for the purpose of later gaining a reward from
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

the receiver is not a legitimate motive.


Initiate a discussion of the need for thank-you and appreciation messages. Ask
students if they have ever received a thank-you note they did not expect. How
did receiving that commendation make them feel? Would they be more willing to
help in the future because of the appreciation? Why or why not? How might
these types of messages help businesses build lasting relationships with
customers or clients?
Remind students to send thank-you notes and other appreciation messages as
soon as possible, especially after job interviews. Remind them to include in the
message something specific that occurred to personalize for the intended
receiver.
Discuss email as a tool for appreciation messages. How effective is it?
Show the visual as you lead a discussion of the benefits of sending written
appreciation messages.
Refer students to the visuals and examples of effective thank-you and
appreciation messages, including Figure 63 as you lead a discussion of
successful goodwill messages.
Resource slide 8: Positive News Message: Why It Works
Resource slide 9: Benefits of Written Appreciation Messages
Resource slide 10: Making the Most of Appreciation Messages
Resource slide 11: Using Written Appreciation Messages Appropriately

Assign Activity 9 that asks students to compose and send a message to someone
who has been especially helpful to them in some way. As responses to those
letters are received, ask students to share them with the class.
As an additional activity, ask students to read about Campbell Soup Co CEO
Doug Conants strategy of sending handwritten thank you notes to employees.
Carter, A. (2006, December 4). Lighting a fire under Campbell: How
Doug Conants quiet, cerebral style got things bubbling again,
BusinessWeek, 4012, 96101. Available from Business Source Complete
database.

Web Enrichment Content: Handling Apologies


Ask students to read the Web Enrichment: Handling Apologies at the companion
website.
Discuss the weak apology given by Eliot Spitzer, then New York governor, for
alleged repeat visits to an exclusive call-girl service. You could also mention the
famous 2004 Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction of Janet Jackson and Justin
Timberlake. How should have the two stars handled the situation? For more
information, refer students to the entry at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Bowl_XXXVIII_halftime_show_controversy.
Ask students for their opinions on the resolution that passed The U.S. Senate in
June 2009 that apologized for slavery. The resolution of apology was an effort by
the federal government to take responsibility for over two centuries of slavery.
Several members of the Congressional Black Caucus fought the measure when it
reached the House.
Instruct students to read the article on this resolution at the Washington Post
website http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-

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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

dyn/content/article/2009/06/18/AR2009061803877.html
Instruct students to go to the following website to read about the controversy
surrounding this government apology. Discuss other recent examples of
apologies governments have offered to people they have wronged.
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/226/story/71194.html
Discuss communication strategies for handling apologies. Be sure to cover the
main points (see visuals below), including:
Ask students for examples of situations they have faced where a company
owed them an apology. How did they feel and react when the company did
not honor a request, was late shipping merchandise, etc.? How did they react
if the company apologized for the mistake? If it did not?
Relate apologies to building strong customer satisfaction and loyalty. Remind
students that often the most loyal customer is the one who has experienced a
problem with the company and had it satisfactorily resolved.
Stress the need to handle apologies quickly and sincerely. Remind students
not to overdo the Im sorry because this strategy places too much
emphasis on the negative action rather than on the apology.
What channels are appropriate for apologies? Why?
Resource slide 13: Handling Apologies
Resource slide 14: Apology Message: Why It Works

Learning Objective 3
Write messages presenting routine claims and requests and favorable responses to
them.
ROUTINE CLAIMS
Claim Message
Initiate a discussion about the importance of building lasting relationships with
customers. Refer back to the strategies for building goodwill discussed in
Chapter 3.
Tell students The need for claim letters or requests for adjustment occurs when
a business or consumer asks for something to which they think they are
entitled.
Ask How many of you have returned merchandise that you ordered online?
What happened?
Discuss the difference between routine claims and persuasive claims,
emphasizing the need for different outlines for eachdeductive for routine
(when the sender expects a positive response, inductive for persuasive when the
sender does not necessarily expect a positive response).
Refer to Figure 64 (poor example) and 65 (good example) as you lead in a
discussion of successful claims.
Remind students that email has become a key channel for both making and
responding to claims.
Assign Activity 6 for classwork/homework. Project the solution provided on
resource slides as you review the claim request.

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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Resource slide 17: Routine Claim: What Does Not Work


Resource slide 18: Routine Claim: Why It Works
Favorable Response to a Claim Message
Focus on the three steps involved in the claim letter sequence (request an
adjustment, provide an explanation, and remind of the request).
Refer to Figure 66 (poor example) and 67 (good example) as you discuss
successful adjustment letters.
Emphasize the value of including resale in adjustment letters. Incorporate case
assignment 2 (at the end of this guide) that focuses on the claim process at
Zappos.
Show the visual to help students identify the differences between resale and
sales promotion. Discuss the definitions of each term. Remind students that all
responses to claim letters should include one of these statements.
Resource slide 15: Distinguishing Between Resale and Sales Promotion
ROUTINE REQUESTS
Favorable Responses to a Routine Request
Refer to Figure 610 (poor example) and 611 (good example) as you lead in a
discussion of successful favorable replies to routine requests.
Remind students again that email is becoming the channel of choice for many
routine communications, including responses routine requests. Emphasize
planning and executing messages via email and not allowing the informality of
channel to lead to sloppy messages. Tell students to be careful using casual
language that results in their messages lacking emphasis or significance.
Form letters for Routine Responses
Assign Application 5 and ask students to locate examples of form letters and
discuss in small groups their adequacy and possible improvement. Have each
group report on their discussion. Make visuals of some of the form letters
brought in by students to project to the class, illustrating effective and
ineffective examples.
Ask, Have you ever received a form letter, especially for sending in a job
application? How did you feel when you received it?
Learning Objective 4
Write messages acknowledging customer orders, providing credit information, and
extending credit.
ROUTINE MESSAGES ABOUT ORDERS AND CREDIT
Discuss the procedures companies typically use to acknowledge orders and
situations when sending an individualized letter of acknowledgment would be
appropriate.
Refer to Figure 6-12 as you discuss online order confirmation. Ask students to
share their experiences with email order confirmations. What companies use
effective messages? What companies have they experienced difficulties with
concerning order confirmations?

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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Providing Credit Information


Lead students in a discussion of the legal and ethical responsibilities of providing
credit information.
Ask: What are the long-term consequences of providing incorrect or exaggerated
credit information? What are the consequences of ignoring a credit information
request about a customer?
Extending Credit
Emphasize the legal aspects involved in writing letters about credit.
Project the visual and discuss the requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity
Act (ECOA).
Refer to Figure 6-13 as you lead a discussion of successful credit extension
letters.
Assign Application 2 that requires writing a message acknowledging a customer
order and providing credit approval. Project the solutions provided on resource
slides as you discuss the assignment.
Resource slide 20: Requirements of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act
Resource slide 21: Extending Credit: Write Deductively
Learning Objective 5
Prepare procedural messages that ensure clear and consistent application.
PROCEDURAL MESSAGES
Project the visual as you discuss the importance of writing effective procedures
and instructions.
Refer students to visuals and Figure 6-14 as you discuss principles related to
writing effective procedures and instructions.
Ask What do you think about the statement, Our company does not write
letters anymore. We just email.
Resource slide 23: Guidelines for Procedural Messages
Resource slide 24: Procedural Message: Why It Works

Assign Activity 8 for classwork/homework or the following supplementary


problem. Show the solution provided on the resource slide as you review the
procedural message.
Resource slide 25: Procedural Message: What Does Not Work
Resource slide 26: Procedural Message: Why It Works

Case Assignment 1: Snoop Proof Your PC


Ask students to visit the websites indicated on the companion website
concerning computer security and privacy on the Internet.
Assign students case assignment 1, Snoop Proof Your PC, which requires
students to summarize the major snoop risks and what actions can be taken to
avoid these risks. Discuss the risks and solutions in class.
Use this case to prepare students for an analytical writing assignment by having
them write an essay relating the use of computers to the Mark Twain quote
presented.
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Summary
Assign Application 1 that requires students to locate an appropriate article and
prepare an abstract for electronic distribution to a group.
Assign selected activities/applications at the end of chapter. Remind students to
study suggestions in the Check Your Communication checklist when planning
and revising an assignment.

Chapter Review
1. List the steps in the deductive outline recommended for good- and
neutral-news messages. (Obj. 1)
The steps in the deductive outline are (a) state the main idea, (b) provide details or
explanation, and (c) remind the receiver of the good news or main idea and/or
include a future-oriented closing thought. This sequence is also appropriate for oral
messages that convey good or neutral news. The same outlines recommended for
written messages are recommended for oral messages, as they are based on
anticipated reaction.
2. Discuss guidelines for communicating with an international audience.
(Obj. 1)
Refer to guidelines for writing to an international audience included in the Strategic
Forces feature.
3. What suggestions will contribute to a warm, genuine tone in a thankyou or appreciation message? (Obj. 2)
To provide a warm, genuine tone in appreciation messages, the writer should (a)
identify the circumstances for which he or she is grateful and (b) provide specific
reasons why the action is appreciated. The writer should NOT exaggerate or use
language that is unbelievable.
4. Explain how claim messages and responses to requests both use the
deductive message pattern.
(Obj. 3)
Because the likely reader reaction to a claim letter and a response request is
pleased or interested, both these letters should be written deductively. The
company to whom a routine claim letter is addressed will extend the claim without
persuasion, and a reader will be pleased to receive the response to a routine
request.
5. What is the difference between resale and sales promotional material?
Provide an example of each. Why should resale and sales promotional
material be included in an adjustment message? (Obj. 3)
Resale is a favorable remark about a product or service already purchased by the
person being addressed. Sales promotional material is a low-pressure message
about products or services not yet purchased. Students responses will vary. As an
example, a message reiterating the quality of an MP3 player previously purchased
would be using the technique of resale. If the message also mentions accessories
for the MP3 player, such as headphones or a carrying case, it would be including
sales promotional material.
6. Distinguish between the two major types of request messages, and
specify the outline preferable for each type. (Obj. 3)
A claim letter is a request for an adjustment. Persuasive claims assume that a
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

request will be granted only after explanations and persuasive arguments have
been presented. Routine claims assume that a request will be granted quickly and
willingly, without persuasion. Use a deductive outline for routine claims; an
inductive outline for persuasive claims.
7. Describe the procedure typically used by companies to acknowledge
orders. Provide three situations when sending an individualized order
acknowledgment would be appropriate and explain why? (Obj. 4)
Most orders can be acknowledged by shipping the order; no letter is necessary.
Typically, acknowledgment letters are preprinted letters or a copy of the sales order.
However, for initial orders, custom orders, and for orders that cannot be filled
quickly and precisely, companies send acknowledgment letters. In these cases,
customers appreciate the companys response and information as to when the order
should arrive.
8. Provide suggestions for writing a legally defensible credit information
letter. (Obj. 4)
In writing credit information letters, the writer should comply with requirements of
the Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA). This law requires that the applicant be
notified of the credit decision within 30 days of the receipt of the request. In
structuring credit information letters, stick to the facts, making sure that all
statements can be documented. Omit statements and opinions that could lead to a
defamation charge.
9. What information should be included in a letter extending credit? (Obj.
4)
The writer should (a) begin by extending credit, (b) indicate the foundation upon
which the credit extension was made, (c) present and explain the credit policies,
and (d) include resale or sales promotional material and encourage future orders.
10. Provide guidelines for writing instructions that can be understood and
followed consistently.
(Obj. 5)
When writing instructions, (a) begin each step with an action statement; (b) itemize
each step on a separate line to add emphasis and to simplify reading; (c) consider
preparing a flowchart depicting the procedures if necessary; (d) complete the
procedure by following the instructions step by step, revising as necessary; and (e)
ask a colleague or employee to walk through the procedures to locate ambiguous
statements, omissions, or errors.

Activities
Teaching Suggestions and Possible Solutions
1. Deductive Openings (Objs. 15)
Revise the following openings so that they are deductive.
a. In last weeks budget meeting, the controller underscored that
budgets are lean this quarter. However, she has approved your
request for computer upgrades for your staff.
b. The Marion Club is a service organization that has always been held
in high esteem within the telecommunications industry. Our

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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

membership is honored to extend an invitation for you to join us as


we help the industry move forward.
c. It is rare that we receive a claim regarding a defect in our selfservice photo kiosks. However, because of our belief in our product, a
sales representative will deliver a replacement.
See Solution slide for suggested answers (also provided below). A Student Handout
is available on your companion web site and at the end of this guide.
a. The controller has approved your request for computer upgrades for personnel in
your department.
b. The membership of the Marion Club cordially invites you to join us in our mission
to promote the telecommunications industry.
c. A replacement self-service photo kiosk will be delivered by a sales
representative.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your
companion web site and at the end of this guide.
2. Perfecting Opening Statements (Objs. 1, 2)
Decide which opening statement is preferable for a positive response message
and describe why the others are less effective.
Version 1
Your employee-of-the-month award proposal reflects value for the
company and our employees. So that we can consider the feasibility of
the idea, please provide a few more details.
Version 2
I have read your proposal for the employee-of-the-month award and
think it is a great idea. However, before it can be submitted to the
board, I need to have a few more details.
Version 3
Enclosed please find my comments regarding your employee-of-themonth award proposal. The idea appears to be a win-win situation for
the company and our employees.
Of the three opening statements, Version 1 is most preferable for a positive
response. It is receiver focused, complimenting the proposal author on the value of
the proposed ideas to the company. The final sentence is forwarding looking and
positive and ends with a polite request for more details.
Version 2 is sender-focused, with emphasis on I. It implies that the proposal
includes major weaknesses that must be corrected before it can be reviewed by the
board. The final request for details places the sender in a position of superiority.
Version 3 uses clichs; enclosed please find my comments regarding and a winwin situation. No request for additional details is included.
3. Perfecting Closing Statements (Objs. 1, 3)
Decide which closing statement is preferable for a positive response message
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

and describe why the others are less effective.


Version 1
I am pleased that you submitted this proposal and I look forward to
submitting the revised version to the board of directors at their next
meeting.
Version 2
Thank you for providing a proposal that may enable our company to
provide a much-deserved reward to our employees. Completing your
revision by this Friday will ensure the proposal will be addressed at the
upcoming board of directors meeting.
Version 3
Please submit a more detailed analysis of your proposal as soon as
possible. Thank you in advance.
Of the three closing statements, Version 2 is most preferable for a positive
response message. The message begins with a thank you and compliments the
writer of the proposal for developing a proposal that will enable the company to
reward deserving employees. The request for revisions is stated tactfully,
encouraging the writer to submit a revised version in time for consideration at the
next board meeting.
Version 1 is sender-focused, with emphasis on I rather than the author of the
proposal. In this statement, all action is taken by the sender, not the receiver.
Version 3 is unsatisfactory because it is abrupt and demanding. The closing
statement of thanks sounds insincere.
4. Form Letter: Need for Personalization (Objs. 1, 3)
The U.S. Army had to apologize to thousands of families who received letters in late
2008 beginning Dear John Doe after losing a soldier in Afghanistan. The letters
that contained information on services for surviving families were printed by a
contracting company and also had improper information in place of the recipient
name and address. In trying to rectify the error, the army chief of staff sent a
personal letter to each family.
[Source: Mount, M. (2009, January 7). Army sorry for John Doe letters to relatives
of war dead. CNN.com. Retrieved from
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/01/07/john.doe.letters/index.html?iref=nextin]
Required: Discuss the impact of receiving a non-personalized or improperly
addressed form letter. What are some of the results to an organization that sends
such communications?
The form letter sent by the U.S. Army to families who had lost soldiers in
Afghanistan would understandably anger anyone receiving it. It was intended as a
personalized message from the Army; however, the error in the use of Dear John
Doe was evidence that it was, in fact, a form letter. An improperly addressed form
letter conveys to the recipient that they have no personal value or meaning to the
sender. Such errors destroy the intended message, making it unbelievable.
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Organizations that send such communication lose credibility with their audiences
and usually have to go to great length to offset the negative impression created.
5. Document for Analysis: Thank-You (Obj. 2) Downloadable file available
at companion website
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise
the letter as directed by your instructor.
Dear Mary Kendall:
We never expected to ever have to implement the disaster contingency
plan we established with you a few years ago. The strange twists of fate
that caused the levy to fail plunged our company into potential chaos. I
am pleased to see that your company effectively implemented the
recovery plan as promised.
I would like to thank you and your company for your assistance in
getting our office relocated after the break in the levy flooded our
building. We appreciate you and your team arriving so quickly and
working around the clock to obtain new furniture and restore our
computer systems. Please communicate our appreciation to your team
for their efforts.
One possible solution follows:
Dear Mary Kendall:
Thanks for coming to our rescue recently when our building was flooded by the levy
break.
Your immediate response to our problems made us grateful we had chosen FailSafe
Inc. to create and implement our disaster contingency. We especially appreciate the
dedication you and your team showed working day and night to relocate our office,
obtain new furniture, and restore our computer system.
FailSafe Inc.s promise to provide quick response to problems faced through
disasters was affirmed by you and your team. Thank you again for the excellent
service and support.
Sincerely,
Students Name
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Uses the inductive approach; begins with focus on the sender and irrelevant
background information, which delays thanks until the second paragraph.
Content
Digresses into background information in the first sentence, which continues
through most of the first paragraph.
Ends with a weak statement that repeats but doesnt reinforce the contribution
the reader has made.
Style
Overuses We, and I creating a receiver-centered tone.
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Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Uses wordy clichs and general, superficial statements that could cause the
reader to question the writers sincerity.
6. Document for Analysis: Claim Request (Obj. 3) Downloadable file
available at companion website
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise
the letter as directed by your instructor.
Dear Mr. Berkin:
When I ordered my Zeratus notebook last month, you assured me that it
provided state-of the-art-security. After viewing the specifications, I
believed in your product and your company and soon placed my order. I
received the notebook on January 12.
After watching the instructional demo, I was able to set up the fingerprint
and password security. However, I often have to reboot the computer
several times before I can get the notebook to recognize my fingerprint
and allow me access to my files.
I have read and followed all the instructions, and even rescanned my
fingerprint several times; but each time the notebook rarely recognizes
me on the first attempt.
I would like this problem solved, either through a new computer being
sent to me free of charge, or a refund after I return this one.
Please contact me at 706-555-3800 and advise me how I should resolve
this problem.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your
companion web site and at the end of this guide. One possible solution follows:
Dear Mr. Berkin:
Please send me a new Zeratus notebook to replace the defective one returned to
you via UPS. The credit card receipt and purchase order for the original purchase
and the UPS shipping information are enclosed.
After watching the instructional demo, I was able to set up the fingerprint and
password security. However, I usually have to reboot the computer several times
before it recognizes me. Therefore, I am convinced this unit is defective.
I am eager to receive a replacement computer quickly so that I can begin enjoying
the products many features.
Sincerely,
Students Name
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Uses an inductive approach rather than deductive outline required for routine
claim letters.

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Content
Does not begin with the main idearequest for an adjustment.
Doesnt request the adjustment until the last two paragraphs.
Includes details that are not necessary for a routine claim.
Style
Presents details in a wordy, unorganized manner.
Overuses I, creating a receiver-centered tone.
Ends with a weak clich.
7. Document for Analysis: Routine Request (Obj. 4)
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise
the letter as directed by your instructor.
Dear Ms. Fondren:
I am the Vice President of Operations for Sherman Corporation, a
manufacturer of golf ball components. We have operated plants
across the Midwest for thirty years, and we are contemplating
opening a facility in the South within the next two years.
As we evaluate our operational needs and requirements, we are
collecting data from various locations we think may provide a site
that will generate the maximum benefit for both Sherman and the
locale under consideration. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you
could send me some information about Knoxville and its surrounding
area, including information on population demographics and major
employers, as well as a geographic description of the area. Id also
like to know about the weather, education, and cultural
opportunities in the area, and, of course, the cost of living.
Thank you for your assistance, and I look forward to your response.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your
companion web site and at the end of this guide. One possible solution follows:
Dear Ms. Fondren:
Please send information about Knoxville and its surrounding area. This
information will assist us in selecting the location for a golf ball component
manufacturing facility to be opened by 2013. To complete the analysis,
information in the following areas is needed:
population demographics
major employers
geographic description of the area
weather conditions
quality of elementary and secondary education
cultural opportunities
cost of living
Please send this information as quickly as possible. To learn more about
Sherman Corporation, please visit our company website at

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accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

www.sherman.com.
As our company wants to complete this analysis by the end of the first
quarter, please send this information by February 28. We appreciate your
assistance in helping our company select an ideal location for our new facility.
Sincerely,
Students Name
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Uses an inductive approach rather than deductive outline required for routine
request letters.
Content
Does not begin with the main idearequest for an adjustment.
Doesnt request the information until the second paragraph.
Style
Presents details in a wordy, unorganized manner. Needs a bulleted list to
enhance visual appeal and quick access to information.
Overuses I, creating a reader-centered tone.
Ends with a weak clich.
8. Document for Analysis: Procedural Message (Objs. 1, 5)
Analyze the following section of a procedures memo intended to communicate
procedures for completing a certification exam. Pinpoint its strengths and
weaknesses, and then revise the memo as directed by your instructor.
Email from Ladonna Sicilia, sent 1/3/2011 at 1:45 p.m.
TO: Professional Staff
SUBJECT: Certification Preparation
We encourage you to complete the certified interrogator examination
before the end of the fiscal year. Order the review course from the CI
Association. Allow approximately two weeks for delivery. Install the
software on your computer and begin taking the 12 interactive sessions.
A minimum score of 80 percent is required to advance to the next
session. While you are completing the course, submit your application to
the CI Association. Once you have completed the course and your
application has been accepted, you can apply to take the course at a local
testing center. For your information, it took about 8 weeks for me to
complete this process.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your
companion web site and at the end of this guide. One possible solution follows:
From: Ladonna Sicilia (lsicilia@garanmfg.com)
p.m.
To: Professional Staff (psup@garanmfg.com)
Subject: Procedures for Certification Preparation

Sent: 1/3/2011 1:45

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accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Professional Staff,
As a professional staff member, you are encouraged to become a certified
interrogator by the end of the fiscal year. All that is necessary is for you to
complete the CI Association course and examination.
We encourage you to order the course from the CI Association this week, as
delivery can take up to two weeks and the course process typically takes about
eight weeks to complete. Once the course arrives, follow these simple
directions:
1. Install the software on your computer.
2. Complete each of the 12 interactive sessions.
3. Score a minimum of 80 percent on each session to advance to the next
session.
4. Submit your application for certification to the CI Association while you are
completing the course.
5. Complete the course and make sure your application has been accepted.
6. Apply to take the examination at a local testing center.
Later,
Ladonna
A summary of organization, content, and style errors follows:
Organization
Should include clear opening paragraph, details, and close.
Content
Does not begin each step with an action statement and understood subject
you.
Style
Includes unnecessary writer-oriented language in first sentence.
Should include an introductory statement that leads into a bulleted list that
highlights each step in the procedure for improved readability and clarity.
Ends with a writer-oriented personal statement that is not part of the
procedural message.
9. Thank-You Message: Thanks for a Favor (Objs. 1, 2)
A number of individuals have been especially helpful as you have pursued your
degree, and you want to express your appreciation. Your choices might include
writing to an instructor who served as a job reference or advised you to complete
an internship program that has led to a full-time position, a cooperative education
supervisor who provided an exceptional experience, or a speaker in a class or
student organization meeting who has become your mentor.
Required: Compose an email message or letter expressing thanks to one of these
individuals. Alternately, your instructor may direct you to prepare an outline of a
telephone conversation or the script of a voice mail message conveying your
appreciation.
See Solution slide for suggested answers. A Student Handout is available on your

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

companion web site and at the end of this guide. Content of the message will vary
according to the recipient selected but should include the following
1. Thank the individual for the contribution he/she made to your success.
2. Describe how the contribution made had helped move you toward your specific
career goals.
3. Make a commitment to inform the recipient when a job is acquired (or acceptance
to graduate school arrives, etc.) and reinforce the important contribution that
person has made to your personally as well as to others.

Applications
Teaching Suggestions and Possible Solutions
Read
1. Assign students to conduct an electronic search to locate an article
that deals with successful communication in a company or organization.
Have them prepare an abstract of the article that includes the following
parts: (1) article citation, (2) name of organization/company, (3) brief
description of communication technique/situation, and (4) outcome(s) of
the successful communication. As an alternative to locating an article,
students could also write about a successful communication situation in
the organization or company for which they work. (Obj. 15)
Discuss Internet search strategies for the assignment. For instance, talk about
available full-text databases that are available online through your library. Discuss
key words for searching; for instance, communications will produce many hits, but
narrowing it by words such as public relations or successful will limit more
closely to the desired subset of articles.
Write
2. Give students the following scenario and have them prepare the
exercise listed. As the marketing manager for Pacific Golf Supply Co.
(PGS), you have just approved a credit account for Highland Lake Golf
Club, a new golf course in northern California. Send Jordan Martin, the golf
pro at the club, a letter stating that you have approved a $25,000 initial
credit line. PGS offers its customers 2/10, n/30 payment terms and charges
interest at an 18 percent annual rate on overdue accounts. Each quarter,
PGS reviews its outstanding accounts and offers an increase in its credit
line to any customer with a current account. The letter should confirm that
the initial order of golf balls, clubs, and accessories has been shipped via
UPS ground, with an expected delivery time of 10 days. Encourage Kevin
to use his remaining $12,400 credit line to invest in quality display units.
Explain that experience demonstrates that sales increase by 25 percent
when the product is displayed using your display units. Exercise Write the
credit approval/order acknowledgement letter to Jordan at 2500 Country
Club Drive, Klamath, CA 95548-1200. (Obj. 1 & 4)
One possible solution follows (see also Solution slide):
Dear Mr. Martin:

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accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Your order of golf balls, clubs, and accessories has been shipped via UPS
ground transportation. You should expect to receive this order in 10 days.
We are pleased to extend a $25,000 initial credit line to Highland Lake Golf
Club. This credit line offers you 2/10, n/30 payment terms and has an interest
charge of 18 percent on overdue accounts. Each quarter we review our
outstanding accounts and offer increased credit lines to our customers who
maintain current accounts.
You may wish to use the remaining $12,400 of your initial credit line to invest
in our quality display units. Our experience demonstrates that your sales will
increase by 25 percent when you use these units to display products. You can
choose the one best suited for your store from the models illustrated in the
enclosed catalog.
Mr. Martin, we look forward to providing the products Highland Lake Golf Club
will need in the future. Please call us whenever we may be of service to you.
Sincerely,
Students Name
Marketing Manager
Enclosure: Catalog
Think
3. Have students find an example of both a well written and a poorly
written good-news or routine memo, email message, or letter; analyze the
strengths and weaknesses of each document; and prepare to discuss them
in class. (Obj. 15)
After removing identifying information, make visuals of selected messages
contributed by students. Divide the class into groups of four or five to discuss the
messages and to develop a checklist for effective writing. Initiate a class discussion,
calling on each group (or a spokesperson) to share its analysis with the class.
Speak
4. Assign students to obtain a copy of a business letter written by
someone from another culture and to identify the major differences
between this letter and a traditional U.S. letter. Their report should
include information about cultural differences that might be reflected in
the message style. Ask students to create a visual of their letter and share
their analysis with the class. (Obj. 1)
After removing identifying information, make visuals of selected letters and
memorandums brought in by students. Differences may be noted in (1) format
[placement, use of dates, salutation, titles, complimentary close, etc.]; (2) writing
style [word choices, paragraphing, etc.]; and (3) organizational pattern [deductive
vs. inductive].
Collaborate
5. Many companies naively rely on a file of form letters composed to fit
almost any conceivable situation in order to protect against potentially
poor writing and to get messages out as quickly as possible. While these
form letters may form the basis for routine communication, they often
2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

miss the mark. Have students read and discuss the following article about
a form letter that Apple sent to would-be iPhone application developers:
www.theregister.co.uk/2008/03/15/apple_iphone_developer_form_letter/.
After reading the letter, divide the class into groups of three or four. Each
group, serving as a companys product development team, will compose a
form letter to send to customers who asked for changes in products or
services. Using the teams experiences and available consumer research,
the group should identify and support an innovative change of their choice
(e.g., new features such as unique ring tones, added features, or new
phone design). Ask students to also consider an incentive to try the new
product/service. (Obj. 15)
One possible solution follows (see also Solution slide):
Dear Customer
We are pleased to announce that we now of the option of installing
reverting software on your iPhone. Some customers install an app or an
operating system, try it, and then want the option of reverting to the old
system. You now have this option with the new iPhone 3.2 OS.
When we first unveiled the new iPhone 3.1 OS, some of our customers
asked if they could revert their iPhone operating systems back to version 3.0.
Some customers also wanted the reverting option for their iPhone applications.
Now you can revert to any previous version instantly with just a simple touch.
Although we recommend that iPhone customers stay current with software
updates for the best user experience, you now have the option to switch back
to a previous version of the OS or an app.
Our customers asked for a change in this service and, its now available.
Check our website at www.syntech.com for information on how to receive the
reverting software absolutely free!
Digging Deeper
1. What criteria should be used in determining whether a good- or neutralnews message would be best communicated on paper, electronically, or
verbally?
In determining channel choice, the sender should consider (a) the receivers
reaction to the message, (b) the importance of the message, (c) the need for
personal contact, and (d) the need for a written record of the message.
2. What considerations should be given to a message recipients culture
when planning a good-news or neutral-news message?
Senders should consider differences in societal values that influence social
behavior, etiquette, communication styles, and business transactions. For example,
U.S. corporations value honesty while Japanese companies value saving face and
will say they can do something when they might not be able to. Senders should also
be aware of abbreviations, expressions, and slang that other cultures might not
understand. An indirect outline might be appropriate when writing to some cultural
groups, even when the news is good or routine. For instance, the Japanese tend
generally to write in a more indirect manner than do westerners.
2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

3. What role does goodwill play in composing effective deductive


messages?
When composing deductive messages, it is important to convey goodwill to the
receiver. Deductive messages take a direct approach, stating the main point first.
Some receivers may view this as too direct and abrupt. The sender of the message
should take precautions to be tactful, avoiding any possibility of being viewed as
abrupt and insensitive. Positive language and effective transitions between points
made in direct messages can help contribute to feelings of goodwill between the
sender and receiver.

Cases
Teaching Suggestions and Possible Solutions
CASE ASSIGNMENT 1: Snoop Proof Your PC
Protecting the security of data files and computer activities is high priority for
individuals and businesses alike. However, your PC is ready and able to reveal not
only your data but what youve been doing with your computer. Within a few hours,
a snoop can determine and find the incoming and outgoing mail you deleted,
websites you visited, data youve entered on web forms, and even phrases you
deleted from documents. Fortunately, you can take steps to protect yourself.
Using effective password protection is a simple first step. Lock important files by
using carefully chosen passwords. The best passwords arent real words or dates;
they use a combination of letters, numbers, and punctuation. Knowing how to truly
rid your computer of deleted and trashed files is another important security step.
Regularly clearing temporary menus and files, as well as history listings, will assure
that your recent file activities are not recorded for the would-be snoop to peruse.
An obvious way to protect your information is to encrypt sensitive information.
Good encryption and locking solutions are increasingly user friendly and
inexpensive. Numerous products are available, with the most effective tools
encrypting both file contents and passwords used to access them. Encryption
usually defeats casual efforts at intrusion and complicates even advanced snooping
attempts.
Cookies can also provide information from your computer to remote third parties.
Cookies are short pieces of data used by web servers to help identify the user and
possibly to track a users browsing habits. Cookies can tell a web server that you
have been there before and can pass short bits of information from your computer
to the server. If you are concerned about being identified or about having your
activities traced, set your browser to not accept cookies or use one of the new
cookie blocking packages. Remember, though, that blocking all cookies prevents
some online services from working.
Another potential PC leak that is often overlooked is the discarded hard drive.
About 150,000 hard drives are retired each year, but many find their way back onto
the market. Stories occasionally surface about personal and corporate information
turning up on used hard drives, raising concerns about privacy and danger of
identity theft. A Nevada woman bought a used computer and discovered it
contained prescription records on 2,000 customers of an Arizona pharmacy. 13 In
most operating systems, simply deleting a file and even emptying it from the trash
2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

folder does not necessarily make the information irretrievable. The information can
live on until it is overwritten by new files. Even reformatting a drive may not
eradicate all data.
The most common breaches of computer privacy are committed by those who
have the most opportunity: coworkers, friends, and family members. But nameless,
faceless hackers can also invade your computer via your Internet connection.
Installing a firewall can help protect you from unauthorized access, possible file
damage, and even identity theft.
Direct your students to complete at least one of the following activities:
1. Locate other articles that discuss ways to protect your computer files
and activities. Prepare
an oral presentation about your findings.
Student presentations will vary based on the articles consulted. Ideas might
focus on firewall protection software, disabling cookies for Internet browsers,
and encrypting important files.
2. Mark Twain once said, There is no security in life only opportunity.
How does this philosophy relate to the use of computers in an
environment of inherent security risks? Prepare a one-page essay that
explains your reasoning.
Student responses might focus on the opportunities for job potential in the
computer security area. They might also focus on installing proper software and
features to protect a personal computer while avoiding overtime spent worrying
about computer security.
3. Make a chart that summarizes the major snoop risks on your PC and
actions that can be taken to minimize each risk.
Student responses will vary but ideas might focus on always logging out,
emptying the recycle bin, deleting document and website histories, firewall
protection, disabling cookies, and encrypting important files.
CASE ASSIGNMENT 2: ZapposCustomer Service at the Heart of Attitudes
and Action
This case highlights Zappos and the communication techniques used for fostering
customer relations; spotlights Tony Hsieh, Zappos CEO; and allows students to
consider and apply concepts that have led to the companys success.
You just cant get decent service these days. Companies dont care about their
customers. Such cynical observations are widely held today because far too many
companies do, in fact, treat customers as though they were an afterthought. This is
not the case, however, at Zappos.
The name is loosely derived from zapatos, the Spanish word for shoes. The
company began in 1999 as the brainchild of Nick Swinmurn whose vision was to
create a website offering the best selection in shoes in terms of brands, styles,
colors, sizes, and widths. The Las Vegas company has doubled its sales every year
since and now boasts one fifth of the $3 billion online footwear market. While shoes
are Zappos foundation, the company is regularly expanding their product line,
which now includes clothing, handbags, and accessories.
Superior customer service has been a major reason for Zappos amazing success.
2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

While the company was not the first dot.com business to offer free shipping, CEO
Tony Hsiehs idea was to also offer free return shipping. Customers wishing to make
a return are given a link to print out a prepaid return shipping label. The free
shipping policy is a long-term retention strategy that seems to be working; on a
given day, 75 percent of Zappos shoppers are repeat customers.
The Zappos website is simple and clean. Keeping the site relatively stripped down
has made it extremely fast, even for dial-up customers. The companys toll-free
number is displayed prominently on every page of their website, which also displays
in various places that shipping is free. Many consumer questions that previously
would have necessitated a telephone call to the company are anticipated and
answered through the frequently asked questions (FAQs) section of the website.
Zappos uses the Web to save time for customers and employees, ensuring that
each customer interaction is a wow experience.
To assure a speedy delivery after purchase, Zappos warehouses everything it sells
and will not make an item available on its website unless it is physically present in
the warehouse. However, Zappos knows that simply stocking a full line of products
does not assure customer satisfaction; its the service that builds customer loyalty.
One way Zappos attends to customer satisfaction involves employee training. Every
new employee is required to undergo four weeks of Customer Loyalty training
before starting work in any department. Customer service isnt just a department
it is the entire company, according to the Zappos website. The companys
customer service philosophy appears to be paying off; in a recent customer service
survey conducted by the National Retail Federation, Zappos beat out competitors
Amazon, Lands End, and Nordstrom for customer satisfaction.
Sources: Kane, M. (2008, April 18). New Zappos: Shoesand gadgets to boot. CNET News. Retrieved from
http://news.cnet.com/8301-10784_3-9921188-7.html; About Zappos.com. (2008). The Zappos story. Retrieved from
http://www.zappos.com/about/zhtml; Durst, S. (2007, March 15). Shoe in. Business 2.0. Retrieved from
http://money.cnn.com/magazines/business2/business2_archive/2006/12/01/8394993/index.htm

Activities
1. Ask students to go online to www.zappos.com and report back on
how Zappos uses its website to simplify the handling of routine
claims.
2. Have students visit the Zappos website and find out more about its
FAQs. They should compare the FAQ method for obtaining product
information to the traditional text format, and then write a short,
informative paper that compares the overall effect to the customer
and the company that is achieved by the two approaches.
Student responses will vary but might focus on how Zappos FAQ section on the
site can save customers a phone call to the company; a toll free numbers allow
for easy product exchange and other types of customer service; and customers
can even print out a return request form and free shipping label.

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Student Handout, Chapter 6


Activity 1: Deductive Openings
Revise the following openings so that they are deductive.
a. In last weeks budget meeting, the controller underscored that budgets are lean
this quarter. However, she has approved your request for computer upgrades for
your staff.

b. The Marion Club is a service organization that has always been held in high
esteem within the telecommunications industry. Our membership is honored to
extend an invitation for you to join us as we help the industry move forward.

c. It is rare that we receive a claim regarding a defect in our self-service photo


kiosks. However, because of our belief in our product, a sales representative will
deliver a replacement.

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Student Handout, Chapter 6


Activity 5: Document for Analysis: Thank You
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise
the letter as directed by your instructor.
Dear Mary Kendall:
We never expected to ever have to implement the disaster contingency plan
we established with you a few years ago. The strange twists of fate that caused
the levy to fail plunged our company into potential chaos. I am pleased to see that
your company effectively implemented the recovery plan as promised.
I would like to thank you and your company for your assistance in getting our
office relocated after the break in the levy flooded our building. We appreciate you
and your team arriving so quickly and working around the clock to obtain new
furniture and restore our computer systems. Please communicate our appreciation
to your team for their efforts.
Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Revision:

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Student Handout, Chapter 6


Activity 6: Document for Analysis: Claim Request
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise
the letter as directed by your instructor.
Dear Mr. Berkin:
When I ordered my Zeratus notebook last month, you assured me that it
provided state-of the-art-security. After viewing the specifications, I believed in
your product and your company and soon placed my order. I received the
notebook on January 12.
After watching the instructional demo, I was able to set up the fingerprint and
password security. However, I often have to reboot the computer several times
before I can get the notebook to recognize my fingerprint and allow me access to
my files.
I have read and followed all the instructions, and even rescanned my fingerprint
several times; but each time the notebook rarely recognizes me on the first
attempt.
I would like this problem solved, either through a new computer being sent to
me free of charge, or a refund after I return this one.
Please contact me at 706-555-3800 and advise me how I should resolve this
problem.
Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Revision:

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Student Handout, Chapter 6


Activity 7: Document for Analysis: Routine Request
Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise
the letter as directed by your instructor.
Dear Ms. Fondren:
I am the Vice President of Operations for Sherman Corporation, a manufacturer
of golf ball components. We have operated plants across the Midwest for thirty
years, and we are contemplating opening a facility in the South within the next two
years.
As we evaluate our operational needs and requirements, we are collecting data
from various locations we think may provide a site that will generate the maximum
benefit for both Sherman and the locale under consideration. Therefore, I would
appreciate it if you could send me some information about Knoxville and its
surrounding area, including information on population demographics and major
employers, as well as a geographic description of the area. Id also like to know
about the weather, education, and cultural opportunities in the area, and, of course,
the cost of living.
Thank you for your assistance, and I look forward to your response.
Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Revision:

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Student Handout, Chapter 6


Activity 8: Document for Analysis: Procedural Message
Analyze the following section of a procedures memo intended to communicate
procedures for replacing a damaged badge. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses,
and then revise the memo as directed by your instructor.
Email from Ladonna Sicilia, sent 1/3/2011 at 1:45 p.m.
TO: Professional Staff
SUBJECT: Certification Preparation
We encourage you to complete the certified interrogator examination before the
end of the fiscal year. Order the review course from the CI Association. Allow
approximately two weeks for delivery. Install the software on your computer and
begin taking the 12 interactive sessions. A minimum score of 80 percent is
required to advance to the next session. While you are completing the course,
submit your application to the CI Association. Once you have completed the
course and your application has been accepted, you can apply to take the course
at a local testing center. For your information, it took about 8 weeks for me to
complete this process.
Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Revision:

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

Chapter 6 Writing Good and Neutral-News Messages

Student Handout, Chapter 6


Activity 9: Thank-You Message: Thanks for a Favor
A number of individuals have been especially helpful as you have pursued your
degree, and you want to express your appreciation. Your choices might include
writing to an instructor who served as a job reference or advised you to complete an
internship program that has now led to a full-time position, a cooperative education
supervisor who provided an exceptional experience, or a speaker in a class or
student organization meeting who has become a mentor.
In pairs, compose an email message or letter expressing thanks to one of these
individuals. Alternately, your instructor may direct you to prepare an outline of a
telephone conversation or the script of a voice mail message conveying your
appreciation.
Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Revision:

2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly
accessible website, in whole or in part.

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