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In the Switches of Manliness series, weve been traveling back in time, way back in time, to
uncover the original male drives that are still embedded in the modern mans psyche.
Last time, we mentioned the fact that in very primitive societies, men and women provided about
equal resources to their tribes; women gathered nuts and seeds, and men hunted big game. In
fact, for much of human history, men and women contributed fairly equally to the family
economy. The idea of the stay-at-home wife who lounged around the house while her husband
toiled all day outside the home is a relatively modern conception of family life. It wasnt until the
19th century that we saw this idea take hold in the West and even then, the working husband and
stay-at-home wife dynamic was typically only available to the wealthy and middle-class. In most
families, both men and women had to work in some capacity in order to keep the family afloat
financially.
So is there a broader definition of providing, one that better fits the historical record?
To answer that question, I think its helpful to look at the etymology of the word provide. The
Online Etymology Dictionary tells us:
early 15c., from L. providere look ahead, prepare, supply, from pro- ahead
+ videre to see (see vision)
To which the Etymological Dictionary of the English Language adds:
Lat. to act with foresight, lit. to foresee
I like that idea of providing. Instead of making a mans identity and worth based on his
paycheck, his ability to provide hinges on whether he has a vision for his life, leads his family
with that vision, and is able to look ahead and prepare for the storms of life.
Man as Scout
In primitive times, looking ahead took the form of scouting for the tribe. Men were the lookouts.
As scouts, they navigated the terrain and traveled ahead (and behind) the women and children,
scanning the horizon for dangers to avoid.
This male role continues in modern primitive tribes, and has even been observed in chimps:
When Bushmen travel, they walk in a single file, with a man in the lead who
watches out for fresh predator tracks, snakes, and other dangers. Women and
children occupy safer positions. This, too, is reminiscent of chimpanzees, who at
dangerous momentssuch as when they cross a human dirt roadhave adult males
in the lead and rear, with females and juveniles in-between. Sometimes the alpha
male stands guard at the road until everyone has crossed it. -Frans De Waal, The
Age of Empathy
I think we all intuitively understand this behavior. Males tend to be physically stronger than
females, so it makes sense that males were the ones doing the protecting. But it wasnt a mans
brute strength alone that qualified him for this role. The male brain is actually uniquely suited for
this scouting (or vision providing) task in several ways.
The male brain is particularly adept at visual-spatial skills. Men tend to be better than women at
rotating objects in their minds to gain a 3-D view and are better able to track moving objects,
gauge how fast theyre going, and determine the objects proportions and location. Men also
have keener long range vision than women, are more sensitive to objects entering their field of
vision, and are better at noticing the small movements of those objects. In fact, there is a
correlation between higher testosterone levels and visual-processing speeds.
Mens visual and spatial abilities give them a leg up when it comes to geography, orientation,
and navigationskills that come in handy when out on the hunt or engaging in battle.
The male brain is also built with a larger dorsal premammillary nucleus, also called the defendyour-turf part of the brain. The circuity of this part of the brain is designed to detect territorial
challenges by other males. Mens brains also include a larger amygdala than women, which can
be thought of as an alarm system for possible danger. Thus men are especially alert to potential
threats to themselves and their loved ones.
reproducing. For this and other reasons, men took part in big game hunts, battles, and adventures
and expeditions of other sorts. These types of endeavors often happened in large groups, and
created a social system for men very different than the one for women. Women, who stayed
close to home and nurtured their families, had fewer but closer and more intimate relationships.
Men had a greater number of relationships, but they were shallower and more impersonal in
nature.
Men thus thought and worked in large systems, and their brains developed accordingly. There
are a bunch of interesting implications of thisagain I recommend onto you Dr. Baumeisters Is
There Anything Good About Men?but for the purposes of this post, the most important thing is
that mens brains developed to be motivated towards systemizing, womens brains
for empathizing.
Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen (not the Borat guy), who proposed the systematizingempathizing theory after studying autism (which he believes is simply the manifestation of the
extreme male brainall systemizing, little empathizing)believes this spectrum constitutes the
fundamental difference between the sexes.
Dr. Baron-Cohen defines a system as anything in which certain input translates into certain
output, according to a rule. Its all about if-then logical reasoningif I do this, Ill get this.
According to Baron-Cohen, systemizing helped our caveman ancestors to understand natural
systems like weather, astrological movement, and animal migrationskills valuable in feeding
and protecting the tribe. Systemizing would also come in handy in battles of social rank in
the hierarchy of a tribe. Remember, in our distant past, if a man wanted to increase his chances
of passing on his genes, he needed to stand out from the crowd. The systemizing male brain may
have helped our ancestors strategize how to make it to the top of the pecking order.
attributes of the male brain. Success at video games requires high visual processing speeds, the
ability to navigate and create large mental maps in your head, recognition skills, and the ability
to systematize and strategize. Of course its not just video games that light up these parts of the
male brainanalog games like Risk and chess, role-playing games like Dungeons and Dragons,
and fantasy sports leagues all require systematizing to succeed and draw the interest of more men
than women.
Now whenever I say anything about video games, people get the idea that Im totally against
them. Not so. Ive played them since I was a wee lad, and after a long time away, I just bought a
used Xbox so I could play LA Noire (what a cool game!). But Ive played the game less than an
hour a week since Ive gotten it because I have too many other, more important, things to do. So
thats how I feel about video gamestheres nothing wrong with them per se, they should just be
low on a mans priorities list. Theyre dessertto be enjoyed in moderation. And thats why they
cannot turn on this Switch of Manliness. Its like eating a Twinkie when youre really hungry;
youre satiated for a minute, but then ravenous soon again. Instead, you need something thats
really going to satisfy that hunger and build your body.
Turning the Provider Switch means using the abilities of the male brain towards bettering
yourself, fulfilling your lifes potential, and leading those youre responsible for.
domineering oaf, but they also dont want to feel like theyre always pulling, and dragging their
husband along. They want a man whos personally motivated, takes initiative, makes decisions,
and has a discernible sense of direction and purpose. A man who is always scouting the way to
take care of his family and lead them through the storms of life. Ive sometimes had that
conversation with my wife where I tell her that I feel unhappy, and she asks me what I want out
of life and what would make me happy, and all I can answer is, I dont know. Thats a failure
of vision. And a failure in being a provider.
Having a vision involves growing in self-awareness and awareness of the world around you. The
man of vision understands his own strengths and weaknesses, how the world works, and what
makes people tick. He looks out from a high point in the landscape, takes in the lay of the land,
fixes his sights on where he wants to go, and figures out how to get there. And then he leads and
navigates, watching for and surmounting obstacles, until the destination is reached.
Here are some suggestions for harnessing your inner-Scout and flipping the Provider Switch:
Talk with your kids one on one to find out what is going on in their lives. Make it casual
like when youre driving around together.
Stay up on politics, news, and current events.
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Sources:
The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine
The Essential Difference: Male and Female Brains and the Truth About Autism by Simon BaronCohen
Is There Anything Good About Men? by Roy F. Baumeister
Dopamine, the Left Brain, Women, and Men by Emily Deans