I AM THE MAN!!

MarriageA scared union of a male or female, which is sought to bring peace and harmony to
both. Well thats how it starts, Bhai aap jo bhi dain gay apni baiti kay hee liyay dain gay, hmain
kuch nahin chaheyay.
Time passes, the inevitable becomes evitable, discussions become arguments, and
disagreements turn to fights. Uncertainty, doubts, discomforts and what not, you start to fear
that good things were only for the start. Its human nature to find fault in others, expect him.
In my observation, I have found both partners trying hard to preserve the animal trait
fighting. But as always, males tend to maintain their dominancy here as well.
Here are some things that every MAN should keep in mind:1. Family comes First: No, I am not talking about the family you have, I mean the family you
have made, your wife, your children and yourself. I am including this point because even after
spending years together people fail to understand this. Before marriage the order is like this
Parents>Siblings>relatives>friends>girlfriend, but after marriage the order somewhat
changes, Parents>Wife>Children>Siblingsetc and the sooner you realize, the better.
2. Parents must be respected: No matter how much you dislike the siblings of one another
(can be many reasons, you are jealous because they have more or you have more and they
are jealous etc) you must never disregard your father and mother in law. If you do that, you
are surely starting a fire. Keep them out of your fights and arguments as much as possible. In
Islam, a man is said to have three fathers; his own father, his father in law and his teacher.
And the lady has to respect her In-laws the same.
3. Do not idealize too much: Every couple wishes to have an ideal life, living like Prince
Charming and Cinderella. Understanding and love at each and every step. But this is a fact
that the more a person expects from others, yes that includes your spouse as well, the more
likely is the chance of ending up hurt. Do not take things for granted, if you want something
from her, just ask away, instead of hoping that wo apnay sartaaj k liyay bin mangay sb kuch
karein gein. She is a human and can overlook things. There is nothing wrong in reminding.
Dont expect your wife to always stand by with you and support your point of view, she is a
separate person, has a separate thinking. She might or might-not agree with you.
4. Appreciate each other: This is a very common problem in families. Husbands and wives
alike dont bother to appreciate each other at all, especially as the time passes by. You must
never, never forget the importance of appreciating each other. If a wife works all day, looks
after the kids, makes meals, washes you clothes and all other chores than she deserves to be
acknowledged. If a husband works all day long for the family, he too deserves to be
appreciated. Tell your wife that you like her effort for the home, compliment her cooking,
anything just let her know you appreciate what she does. And thats all she needs from you
to do it all again.
5. Dont forget that parents are also couples: Most couples after marriage forget doing
things just for each other. No more trying to please each other, no more shararatein, teasing
and playing with one another. Take her out once a while, just you and her; leave the kids at a
friends place. Buy her flowers, chocolates etc, which will give her a sense of being special
and being close to you. The lady should do what her husband likes; wear the dress he likes or
anything. You are always young for each other, mind you, only for each other not for the
babes in the market.

6. Accept each other as you are: This is also an important thing. We usually think that we can
change each other according to our wishes and likes. But the fact remains the same, nature
cant be changed. Yes you can change same attributes and actions and you should try to
remove all bad ones. Try to manage with each other, compromise is the key here. Quran
advises us to love our wives and give them respect even if we dislike something about her. (I
am not Zakir Naik or else I would have given the reference too, but trust me it is there.)
7. Get involved in each other: Yes, showing interest in her likes and dislikes. Getting married
does not mean you should stop trying to impress her. Try to get involved in things she
admires i.e. if she is an ardent reader try to read a few books of her favourite author or at
least show her that you are reading it. She may not be very well pleased with your pretending
but she will appreciate the fact of you showing interest in her likes and taking out time just to
please her.
8. You are NOT the master: A very common misconception among men. They think that
everything revolves around them and with age this thing increases. They will want their wives
to do all the work, wash dishes, clean the house, clothes, children, grocery etc while they sit
at the sofa and enjoy the news or stuff. You must remember that you are partners; earning
money is not your only responsibility, work in the house with your lady. I am not saying do it
regularly, but at least two days a week, do the dishes, make dinner with her, clean your own
stuff if not the whole house anything. You could have a lovely chat in between.
9. Keep each other informed: Most husbands complain about their wives being too overprotective and intuitive about things. Well there must be a reason why she thinks as such and
lets face it, women are intuitive by nature, so instead of making a fuss about that just take
her in trust and keep her informed , where you go, your office, your friends etc. She is your
wife and deserves to know and vice versa.
10.Give each other some space: Marriage is a big change, yes the responsibilities increase
and things change and you view each thing as a husband or as a father, which you should.
But among all the things always take some time out for the things that are only for you. Go
out once a month with your friends, do the things which you enjoy, there is nothing wrong to
enjoy alone once a while, but your wife should be well informed of your endeavours. This will
help you loosen up a bit and freshen your mind. In the same way, give her alone time as well.
A 24-hour under surveillance should be left out once a while. Let her give a ladies party while
you go out to do grocery with the kids etc. Give her time for herself.
11.Little Things: Never underestimate them; its these little things that carry a relationship.
Small acts of kindness and respect. Tell her how lovely she looks, compliment her cooking,
bring her a gift once a while, she is not asking for a diamond ring, only a gesture, a gesture
that shows you care. Give her a smile often, a hug, a kiss, a surprise party etc and do these
things often, as I said, you never grow old for each other.
Now since I know how your superior mind works, you must be thinking why me? Why I should
do all the things? I am the man of the house! Well, let me ask you, Why-not!? Being a man is
an honour, you are a symbol of strength, dignity, calmness and composure. You have been given
one place ahead of woman in Islam (As most of you are boasting about in front of your wives) but
only due to your greater responsibility and control. You are the leader, and a leader sets
examples for others. It means perfecting yourself first and then seeking perfection in others. If
there is sacrifice, you have to make it first; if there is patience, you have to display it first; you
have to have control and discipline above the rest. Yes, it is hard, it is a constant struggle but this
is what being a man means, facing things calmly and solving problems. And trust me, if you are
helpful and understanding and doing even half the things mentioned above, your wife will
definitely give you more in return. All she asks is a little attention and affection which dissipates
with time.

For the ladies, if your man is doing these things and you still dont give a shit then screw you.
You deserve an animal not a human.