The Art of Simple LIving

The Art of
Simple Living
Minimalist Living, Decluttering and
living in focus with your Life Purpose
Gilbert Ross
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CONTENTS
CONTENTS .................................................................... III
FOREWORD................................................................... IV
SECTION ONE: INTRODUCTION
WHAT IS SIMPLICITY? ....................................................... 1
SECTION TWO: SHIFTING GEARS
NEEDS & WANTS ............................................................. 5

10 BELIEFS TO LET GO OF ................................................. 13
SECTION THREE: ELEMENTS OF SIMPLICITY
SPACE AND TIME ........................................................... 30

ELEGANT CHOICES ......................................................... 38
INFORMATION .............................................................. 42
ORGANISING ................................................................ 46
LESS DOING .................................................................. 49
SECTION FOUR: SIMPLE LIVING IN PRACTICE
SIMPLICITY AT HOME...................................................... 53
SIMPLICITY AT WORK ................................................... 60

SIMPLICITY IN LOVE...................................................... 67
SIMPLE PARENTING ..................................................... 76
ABOUT THE AUTHOR ...................................................... 86
Foreword
Our lives have become increasingly complex in a fast-paced,
consumer-driven & hyper-connected society. We follow hectic,
stress-laden lifestyles and we are swamped with too much
information. In short, we need to simplify,simplify, simplify!
We need to learn, or rather re-learn, the art of simple living. Many
people are becoming more aware of this and are taking bold steps
forward, towards more conscious living, minimalist lifestyles and
simplifying their day-to-day living.
This book is simply a guide to help people make this transition. It
provides valuable insights into how to change your beliefs and
perceptions a key ingredient for transformative change and
practical step-by-step tips on how to simplify, declutter and focus
on those things essential to our life purpose.
The book is an edited transcript of my online course on
Udemy.com which can be found here:
https://www.udemy.com/the-art-of-simplicity-focusproductivity-freedom/
SECTION
ONE
BOOK TITLE
INTRODUCTION
1
What is Simplicity?
Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful

John Maeda The Laws of Simplicity: Design, Technology, Business, Life
ust close your eyes for a minute and go through a typical

day in your life. What do you see? Is there struggle? Are
you trying to cope with too many tasks at the same
time? Too much information? Have you got a long list of
pending chores and side projects that have been left unfinished
for a long time?
Now stay there with your mind and imagine another day in your
life in which you are managing only one thing at any one time and
you are well focused on it. Your to-do list is looking healthily short
or bare. Your mind, your desk, your house and your life in general
are uncluttered. You have both physical and mental space and
you are relaxed, serene and as light as a feather. All the rest falls
into place. Your thoughts are clear, your decision making flows
easily and you wander through your day without unnecessary
hassle and struggle. You have shifted gears and now you are doing
more with less.
This, my friends, is the art of simplicity in practice.
Living with simplicity means living your life without unnecessary

stuff whether it is physical objects or mental debris. It means
breaking free from the noise that accumulates in one's life and
living with only the essential. It means, most of all creating space
for life to fill in with peace, joy, happiness and success.
Have you ever noticed how some people are constantly stressed
and fatigued? Life seems to be constantly uphill? Have you
noticed how some others move with light but effective strides
forward? This is the difference between living life with simplicity
and not.
Simplicity is not an abstract concept. It is a practical way of living
your day-to-day life. It is not some extreme way of living or living
a secluded life on the fringes of society either. We do have
common stereotype images of people who have gone to live in
remote areas, completely detached from the outside world and
left to their own devices, they literally survive on the food they
catch or grow. Im not saying this is a bad thing. Self-sustainability
as a chosen path is to be encouraged and admired. What I am
saying is that the path to a simpler life need not be one that is
drawn furthest away from your current one. It can start off with a
few simple steps which when practiced will result in a very big
positive leap forward in lifestyle and happiness.
What do I need to live with simplicity?

The question in itself points us away from the real problem. We
do not need anything, or perhaps very little in reality. We do not
have to add something but rather shed some things away like old
repeating habits and unproductive patterns of behavior and
gradually change the way we value life.
So the first big step towards to a clutter-free life is changing the
way we look at things. We need to refresh our outlook and break
The Art of Simple Living

free from the mould, so to speak. It might seem trivial but it is the
most important step forward and one that will bring with it the
energy to take us from a congested, over-stressed lifestyle to one
that is lighter, calmer and more open to our purpose.
Changing our perspective on how we deal and respond to life's
constant bombardment is what we will be dealing with in the
following section. Although it is OK to jump forward and
backwards freely throughout this books sections, it is highly
recommended not to skip the next section as it is the foundation
upon which the other parts of this book are built.
One last thing before we can move to the next section - this book
is not meant to expose shortfalls or unproductive traits in your
life. You might come across a sentence and say, "oh gosh that's
me! Nothing wrong with that. What's important is that you
understand that there are things that can be changed all for the
better and good practices that will empower you to go through
these changes surely and without too many hurdles.
SECTION
TWO
SHIFTING GEARS
2
Needs & Wants
It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the
inessentials. - Bruce lee
t the heart of living simplicity in your daily life is the idea

of discarding the inessentials. The keyword here is
inessentials. Simple living has a lot to do with learning to
live with the bare essentials and learning to live with the
bare essentials requires first of all that we identify what are those
essentials in our life.
At the same time, we realise and understand more closely what
are those other things that are inessential to our real life progress
and happiness and that only end up cluttering our spaces and
complicating our lives after some time. More importantly, we also
need to learn to let go, or in Bruce Lees words, Hack away at the
inessentials. This is something we will be seeing in following
chapters.
It must be noted that simple living is not about discarding
everything. It is not so-called nihilism where everything is
meaningless or useless and we should live in rags and feed on a
few leftover crumbs. The idea is only about freeing ourself from
the inessentials. This is closely tied to the realization that most of
the things and ideas we have been attached to were only causing
noise, slowing us down and causing stress and fatigue.

For instance, you will be surprised to know that simplicity lives
side by side with abundance! Why? Because living a simple life is
one where you are not weighed down by things there are
effectively inessential to your happiness. This creates space for
more rewarding and authentic things to flow into your life thus
creating abundance. Abundance by the way is not an over-supply
of goods but rather an always-available supply of those things
that are most needed for your life's purpose.
So how do you know what is essential and how do you distinguish
it from the inessential? This is a pertinent question to ask.
Although a long list of items can be drawn which could tell you
which things are essential and which aren't - such a long long list
is ultimately not required.
First of all what is inessential for one person could be essential for
someone else. Secondly, once you start becoming more aware of
your general lifestyle habits and consumption patterns, your
perspective starts shifting and it will start becoming more clear
what is essential to you and not. In other words, you will start
becoming more conscious of your real needs as against your
wants and desires.
Here is a very important thing I suggest you do as an exercise
before you continue reading about the difference between needs
and wants. Grab a pen and paper and write down a sample list
from an inventory of items you own and projects you have, if any.
Not everything, just a sample from your clothing, gadgets,
accessories, furniture, things you keep stored away, projects and
ideas you are working on and even monthly subscriptions. Next to
the list of items draw two columns - one titled Needs and the
other Wants. Start scrolling through each item on your list and
make an honest evaluation of whether that item is essential or
not. Is it really a need? Does it help you in achieving some long-

term goal or make your life essentially happier. If its a project or
idea you are putting in time and effort in, ask yourself, do you
have a natural passion and inclination towards that thing? Does it
drive you?
Take a minute or two to evaluate each item and the tick the
column according to whether you think its really a need or a
want.
The main objective for this list for now is not to take action on it
(although this wouldn't be a bad idea) but to have a visual cue in
front of your eyes on how needs compare to wants in both
quantity and quality.
We are all aware that there is a difference between our wants and
needs. There are some things you want and other things you
need. Modern society, however, has totally blurred this
distinction and has sold us wants for needs. Advertising was and
still is a major player in all of this, constantly feeding us with
subtle and not so subtle messages aimed at building in us a
certain belief system.
"You need these accessories to look totally awesome & hip and
play the part of the modern urban super-cool dude or girl"
"You need to have this latest gadget if you want to be on top of
the game with your peers"
You get the point. In reality people have a small number of needs
and huge list of wants depending on the person, age and society
she or he lives in. We grew up in a world in which has led us to
believe not only that we want more things but that we actually
need them! You might say - but hey I do understand what is the
difference between wants and needs and I do in fact know that I
don't need a new watch or a pair of Ray-bans but really want
them. I'm sure of that but the thing is that most of the times we
are not able to step out of the 'merry-go-round' but unconsciously

follow its strong momentum. In other words, we go with the flow
and follow the social demands of the day.
So in practical terms we need to first become more aware that
there is a strong pull dragging us into wanting more stuff or
wanting more recognition, access or status. We are subject to this
force everyday through peer pressure, advertising or life
situations that lead us to believe we need something in order to
get somewhere. This awareness may seem trivial but it is
extremely important. It is the first big step towards living a
simpler, lighter and happier life.
Below is a list I had created for myself in the past in which I have
seperated the wants from needs. This table shows a small part of
an inventory of items I owned at the time and did a little bit of a
quick analysis of which of the items I really needed or were
essential to my life or not. The exercise originally served as part of
a decluttering exercise but I later realised that it shed some light
on my life's footprint in terms of things I owned or carried with
me but which were inessential to my overall quality of life.
Item
Need? Want?
25 Shirts
9 pairs of trousers
6 Pairs of shoes
Printer
Old files with Study
Notes
Music CDs
Books
No
No
No
No
No
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
No
Yes
Yes
No
Comment
I could have half or less
I could have half or less
Need 1 for sports & 1 casual
Rarely print
Very rarely to make reference to
them. Occupying space
All my music is digitised
A valuable knowledge reference. I
do give away fiction titles through.
So for instance we all have lots of clothing items. The reason for
this is that we buy clothes we like but then we get tired of them
and we purchase new stuff from time to time. Now some people
do regular wardrobe cleanups. However the main driver behind a

wardrobe cleanup for many is not so much for decluttering or to
part away from items that are inessential but more likely because
they want to make space for newer, fancier items!
As you see from the table I did not own many clothes items. OK
this is just a sample and there were other items I have not
included in the list such as polo shirts, sweaters, T-shirts, etc. But
it's enough to get an idea. For example having 25 shirts is not
really essential. Some fashionsitas will tell you - hey that's a bare
minimum!! But is it truly? Same thing with trousers and shoes.
The question is - if I had to take away half of those items or more how would my living be affected? The answer is straightforward
really. It wouldn't debilitate me in anyway. You can say I would
have fewer items to choose from and less choice means simpler
decisions!
I have also included things like a printer, Books and CDs because
these are very common items people own and gather throughout
the years. Are they essential? Take for instance a printer. Well if
you constantly work with it or you work from a home office then I
would say yes you need one. In my case it was there because it
came with my desktop PC. I only used it a couple of times and
that's it so it was most of the time occupying space and nothing
else. CDs can be a harder choice because you can still use them
and put them in your CD player from time to time. Technology
however changes and media becomes superceded. I have been
using digital media for some years. So having those CD racks was
not only inessential but there again, a waste of space. Books were
yet an even a harder choice since I love books. However I did a
different sort of thing. Most of my titles are non-fiction and these
can be referred to from time to time. As for fiction titles - I
decided to give away these to friends and charity carboot sales
since I do not read fiction twice (unless it's a very good title).
This below table shows items I did not own but had been planning
of buying or in case of projects doing. I basically did the same
analysis as in the previous table. The list is a bit more varied. So

let me run through a few of them. Following the same line of
reasoning in the previous table you can come to the conclusion
that buying a new gadget or new pair of sport shoes does not
improve my life in any major or long term way. There were other
things that I believe I needed. For instance changing my job since
the job I was into was affecting my happiness and wellbeing.
Devoting more time to relationship issues is also essential since it
creates a space for growth and happiness. Starting a saving plan
for my young daughter is also a need - perhaps not a basic one
but a good one nonetheless. Buying a new apartment door was
also a need rather than a want since it has to do with safety and
security.
Item
Need?
Change job
Increase income by $400
per week
More time for dealing with
relationship
Doing my Phd
Yes
Savings account for

daughter
Fix car dent
Yes
New apartment door
Yes
Want?
Comment
Yes
Unhappy with current job

Would be helpful but not critical
Yes
Very important to sustain a

simple happy life
Not exactly a need but is in line
with my purpose
Yes
Yes
Holiday to Canada
Yes
New sports shoes

A new macbook pro
Yes
Yes
Not disrupting performance or

function
adding security since current
one is not strong
nothing wrong with it but not
necessary
Old ones still in shape
can be a cheaper laptop
So all this starts giving us a pattern that enables us to have a

wider picture of the difference between needs and wants. We
have in reality very few needs. In gross terms, basic human needs
are a safe shelter, food, water and good healthy relationships. Of
course I am not saying that we should be scraping off the poverty
10

line. What I am trying to show is that the majority of things that
we buy, use, store and carry over the years are inessential to our
core living.
The whole purpose of this was to have a greater awareness that
most of the things we consider as 'needs' are just wants. Keeping
this in mind will help us stir away from being dragged into
unconscious decision processes that ultimately translate into
complex, stress-laden lifestyles.
Another important thing besides being more aware of the
difference between wants and needs in our life is to start forming
the inclination to let go of your wants and of certain beliefs that
keep you stuck to a certain pattern of behaviour and respone. This
is what we will be seeing in the following chapter.
There is a difference between being aware that something is
inessential - or worse counter-productive - to actually letting go of
that something. Letting go of something - such as unhelpful habits
or objects - is most of the time not about letting go of the thing or
idea itself but rather of letting go of a particular belief that leads
us to be attached to it.
Here is a summary of the salient points covered in this chapter:
There are things and ideas that are inessential to our life's
purpose
11
Simplicity is about living with the bare essentials

Living with the bare essentials does not mean living a
mediocre life but oppositely means creating space for an
abundance of life enhancing energies and opportunities
There is a clear difference between needs and wants but
wants are often sold to us as needs
The first step is to become more aware of these
differences and realize that wants will not in anyway
increase our life's quality or happiness
12
3
10 Beliefs to Let Go Of
The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go

Steve Maraboli, Life, the truth and being free
n the previous chapter we covered a simple but

important idea: that of sifting between our needs and
wants. The main purpose of this was to increase our
awareness about the fact that we use a lot of our
resources of time, energy, space and money on things that are
ultimately inessential to our life purpose. These inessentials are
fed to us as needs when in fact they are nothing more than wants.
The art of simplicity has a lot to do with recognizing the essentials
in our life and letting go of the inessential things that most of the
time eat away our resources and render our lives more
complicated and less meaningful.
However recognising that there are things that are inessential to
our purpose is not sufficient. We need to cultivate the mental
disposition and empower ourselves to let go of them. Recognition
is very important but moving from being aware to putting that
awareness into practice is a very powerful thing indeed.
Also, what we really need to let go of the inessential things is to

know which are those limiting beliefs, fears and ideas that make
us attached to them in the first place. So let us get working on this
straight away.
Limiting Belief #1 - I need to get or gain something to

make my life better:
This is the most common limiting belief shared by most people on
this planet! There is always that constant belief in the back of our
head that life is running us past and that we need to add
something to be in a better position than we are now. We need
that extra income, that better job, that wonderful relationship,
that new body or new look which together brings us a new
lifestyle. Ultimately a newer, better me.
Of course there is nothing intrinsically wrong with changing your
life or with making new acquisitions. The problem is not in the
objects themselves but rather in our continuous dissatisfaction
with our present life together with the nagging belief that we can
only change it by adding something else on top of what we
already have. This is closely linked to the previous chapter's topic
regarding needs and wants. We saw how needs are different than
wants but this distinction is often blurred making us want or
believe that we 'need' more stuff to be somehow better.
The belief that we need more stuff to be better is a misguided
one. But not only that; It makes our lives less simple. First of all it
affects us directly because we add more physical clutter in our
surroundings - gathering more objects we only use for a short
while. It also affects us indirectly by creating a certain background
anxiety fueled by the constant need to seek out for things that we
believe will take us from where we are now to where we want to
be.
14

The anti-dote for this belief is to root ourselves in the idea that we
have all we need right here, right now. It might be a bit difficult to
see. You might say What? How can I have all I need when my
brain is listing a tall order of things I am currently short of?" Yes
that is the simple truth. You have already the right ingredients for
happiness, contentment and living out your life's passion.
Although it's a truth that may be a bit rough to grasp in the
beginning, it's a truth that can be felt and understood. Your heart
already knows it. It's only your mind that is constantly distracting
you from it. You do not need anything more to be better. You just
need to clear out the noise and align with your true purpose your essentials. This is when the magic of simplicity starts working
wonders.
Practice:
Find a quiet time during the day - could be in the morning, lunch
breaks or late evenings. Think about all the things you believe are
conducive to your goals such as for example - more money; a
better job; a bigger house; a nicer car; a new gadget; a fitter body;
relief from a physical ailment; reconciliation of broken
relationships and so on.
Now think of why you think you need these things. Be honest. Dig
deep. You may hop on from one reason to another but if you dig
deep It will always lead to the same road - self-realization. In
other words being aligned to your life's purpose and doing what
excites you. Now think again. Are these things like financial
freedom, cars, status and so on REALLY conducive to selfrealization? The answer is no, not really. And this is not a bad
news. Actually it is a powerful liberating idea that we can become
self-realized without having to constantly run after these things.
15
Limiting Belief #2 - I need thinking to figure out my

way:
Thinking is at the center of human activity. We think all the time.
We think in order to plan, solve problems, make arguments and
communicate with others. However most of our thinking is not
directed at anything particularly useful. It is wasted on day
dreaming, 'what if' scenarios and many times reeling in on past
episodes of our life. So thinking is both a tool when used properly
but can also distract us.
Moreover, when we over-think or over-analyze situations it

consumes our energies and rather than making us more clear
headed it often takes us in the opposite direction - ending up lost
in too many loose ends. The saying 'paralysis by analysis' comes to
mind. In short thinking, or rather too much of it, complicates
matters instead of simplifying them.
Mastering the art of simplicity requires among other things,
knowing that too much thinking is often not the ideal tool to
reach a certain goal. Even in difficult life situations, when we feel
the pressure of having to take a decision on something we are not
quite sure of, over-thinking can become counter-productive
rather than a helpful ally.
The secret tool of simplicity is knowing how to use intuition and
heart-centered decisions instead of thinking. Intuition comes from
a deeper place than thinking - it comes from the heart. It uses less
energy and gets straight to the answer without having to hop
from one concept to the other like thinking. Intuition bypasses all
the complex processes involved in thinking and leaps straight to
the solution. It is a very powerful tool.
People who have mastered the art of simple living use intuition
very skillfully and intentionally. They know that intuition is
16

effortless and simple because it is centered on feeling and the
heart.
Of course we do need thinking to make plans or for instance make
some logical argument. I'm not downplaying thinking and its
usefulness. We need it to operate in this world. It's relying too
much on it that we need to let go of. It's the idea that thinking is
the only way we can figure out a problem. When we crash our
head thinking about a problem, more often than not it consumes
us and doesn't always lead us to the solution. Sensing where our
heart is calling us to go is a much more efficient way of getting
around a problem or situation. I am sure that you have
experienced this many times. Problem is, we are too much
attached to the idea of thinking.
Practice:
Whenever you have a problem bothering you and feel the urge to
think or analyze it - at first do so but be aware of the process.
Take note, during and afterwards, how simple or complex your
thinking is. Did it lead you to a straightforward solution? Did it
create more questions or more uncertainty? Did it require time,
effort or energy?
In a similar situation, try to refrain from analyzing the problem. Be
sensitive to how you feel about it. Relax. Open up for possible
answers without thinking about it. Leave space. Allow it to be.
With some practice you will start picking up certain 'signals' or
intuition. Often, intuition comes when your mind is actually not
thinking about the problem. The reason is that you would be
creating space for your subconscious to feed in information,
which is otherwise muted by mental chatter. It might take some
time, but as most things it requires practice. One thing to be
encouraged with is that intuition is a basic human ability we can
all acquire with some patience and little effort.
17
Limiting Belief #3 - I need approval of others to live

peacefully:
We are social creatures. We interact, communicate and form
bonds with others all the time. It's natural. Very often our
decisions and way of living is influenced by others - family, peers,
partners and so on. This influence is born out either by other
people affecting us directly for example teachers, parents,
children and authority figures, or else by virtue of us seeking
consent, approval or support of others in given situations.
An example of this would be working within a company or
organization. People within a work environment tend to seek the
general consent and approval of superiors and peers alike. In
simple terms, our decisions and actions are influenced or rather
limited by whether we think they're going to be approved of by
others. We feel we want to be liked and looked up to. We
subconsciously require respect and acceptance by others. It
happens in many social environments - at school, at home, in
friends' circles, etc.
Having the consent and respect of friends, family and loved ones
is not a bad thing in itself. It's the hanging on to the belief that we
must somehow have it in order to live peacefully and happily in
life. This is not so in reality. Simple living gives us the freedom to
enjoy acceptance and approval when we have it but not to
constantly seek out for it when we don't.
When the fear of other's disapproval or the desire for their
approval hangs around in every single decision we take, we are
bound to be limited in some way. It also weighs us down and
makes our decision-making less simple.
Practice:
18

Recall some of your recent decisions, big or small, which involved
some aspect of your future. Could be big as a house move or job
change or a small as buying a little something for yourself. Try to
remember as much as you can about the decision-making
process. Recall the feelings and emotions you had surrounding
those decisions. Do you see the need for other's approval in those
decisions? Did you think of what others would think or feel about
your decision? How strong was that influence?
Now try to imagine or feel how more simple those decisions
would have been without factoring in the approval of others.
Limiting Belief #4 - I need to be financially secure to live

freely:
This belief is a common distraction from the path to simple
living. We think that we need to be financially stable before we
start doing the things we are passionate about and in line with our
purpose.
I have been a victim of this belief for many years. We always tend
to equate major life changes with changes in income and wealth.
Its like the only way we can follow our authentic dreams and leap
out from the system is by a major financial boost. When I have
more money I will spend my time traveling and being inspired by
art instead of being stuck in a cubicle. However even though
following your goals require financial support of varying degrees,
the mistake is to assume that more money must flow in before
even starting to embark on your real life journey or that financial
boost is the end in itself.
This belief creates conflicting views about your future and hence
lack of simplicity. You might feel the inclination to follow an inner
19
calling - for example pursuing your studies - but at the same time
feel the pressure of securing income from a stable job.
Practice:
Grab a pen and paper and scribble down all those dreams and
projects you have left on the side because your finances or source
of income took priority over them. For example a project that
required a certain amount of time and hence conflicting with your
full-time job. Or a pet project that required certain financing to
kick start. The purpose of this exercise for now is to take stock of
these projects and be aware of how the idea of financial security
interferes with them.
Limiting Belief #5 - I need to do, do, and do some more:

We are used to a culture of doing since we are infants. Society has
deeply ingrained in us the idea that we need to do something to
achieve something. There is always something we need to do:
work, make money, make more friends, get a degree, do this, do
that and do some more. You get the picture.
What we rarely stop to question is where does all this doing take
us? Does the frenetic non-stop everyday doing eventually lead us
to a different point in our life? It's a good question to consider.
I can answer for myself. I have spent years working on endless

projects and stuff, investing thousands of hours and energy into
them. My doing was driven by the belief that it will lead me to a
new level of living. After a couple of years, a tall list of failures,
some bruises and a few important lessons learnt, I realized that all
I was achieving with my frenetic non-stop doing was move lots of
20

energy around! I also realized that most of it was not aligned to
my real talent and purpose in life and hence why it wasn't
propelling me forward.
Maintaining balance in life and moving forward while doing less is

an art - specifically the art of simple living. It took me some time
but after I realized this it changed the way I see things completely.
I recognized the counter-intuitive truth that you can get more
things done by doing less!! Sounds strange but true.
How is this possible? Simple. It's because your little doing is
conscious, focused, in line with your purpose and your life
essentials. You discard all those inessential to-do items and
projects which are not your authentic goals but things you
somehow think are means to an end.
Practice:
Letting go of the belief that we need to do something can be
difficult for some in the beginning. Some people get restless and
feel they cannot be motionless for some time. This is OK. It's one
thing being active and another thing being consumed by the belief
that in order to make things happen you need to do something
about it now.
What you need to practice is to let go of this belief. For me this
practice was most effective on Sundays. Why? Sundays should be
a time for taking it easy and being with the family. However I
always used to get these irresistible temptations to use that time
to work on some of my projects. Time is limited right? So this was
the best day to practice letting go of the urge to do something
and practice non-doing.
21
Limiting Belief #6 - My end goals are always

somewhere in the future:
When we try to solve issues and problems we think that the goal
or solution is strictly somewhere in the future. We think that this
is obvious because if the problem is in the present then a solution
to it must come in the future by applying some thinking and
putting in action some plan. Partly this is correct.
The problem with this thinking is that it has pushed us into
believing that goals themselves are always somewhere in the
future whether just round the corner or in the long distant future.
It makes us shift our attention to the future instead of the present
- the right here, right now.
We always think that our goals are still to be reached and our
present is only an in-between stage. The funny thing is if that is
so, then our present, our now, will always remain an in-between
stage and never the end goal itself.
Simplicity requires seeing the end goal as being right here in the
present. Our life happens and runs only in the present. Surely
enough, the only way we can reach our 'future goals' is through
the present.
Presenting it from another angle, when one is anchored to the
present and not lost in the ocean of futures still to be, he or she
are living life with and through simplicity. Decisions become less
complex and less energy is eaten away thinking about future
goals.
Practice:
Think about all those goals, dreams and results you are waiting for
as still to come or happen. More income from a new business
venture, job prospects after finishing my degree, more people
22

liking me after I get a fitter, sexier body. Think about how well you
are connected to those goals through your present moment. Are
you wasting your present time by day dreaming or worrying about
something that you believe you don't have and yet to come? or
do you believe yourself to be already in a process of change, right
here, right now in your present?
Limiting Belief #7 - I need to do things in a certain way

(Compulsive behavior) :
Compulsive behavior is when you believe you 'have' to do
something following a subconscious irrational belief that
something odd might happen if you don't do so. I'm not talking of
complexes or disorders here but general and pretty common dayto-day behavior from most people on this planet.
I have been observing myself and others all my life and one thing I
have learned is that people tend to follow compulsive actions in
some way or another even if in the mildest degree. For example,
you might feel that you shower or put on your makeup in certain
ordered steps and feel something is oddly missing if you don't.
You might not even be conscious of this mini-ritualistic behavior.
You might be following a number of these compulsive behaviors
throughout your normal day.
The only problem with compulsive behavior is that it is selflimiting because you fail to see that you have many different ways
to carry out a certain task or solve a problem. Self-limiting our
choices causes more complexity.
Practice:
23
How do you let go of compulsive behavior? As most other things,

the key is awareness. Observe and be continually aware of
internal compulsions when for example taking decisions. See
whether your decisions are being influenced or limited by a
feeling that you have to do something in a certain way and not
another.
Limiting Belief #8 - I am not good enough (Letting go of

self-criticism):
Self-criticism very often comes in the form of negative self-talk.
Self-talk is when we follow that internal chatter or internal
conversation in our head such as "oh no I thought I would mess it
up just like that other time" or "I'm such a failure. How could I
have not seen this coming?". You get the picture. We self-talk to
ourselves all the time without being conscious of it. Sometimes
it's subtle or fragmented so it's hard to realize we are actually
sending messages to ourselves.
Self-talk can be seen as a silly concept for some. How could we

talk to ourselves without knowing? The fact is that up to a certain
point the subconscious mind does not distinguish between what is
real or not. It just follows the instruction inherent in the thought
or sentence. This is ultimately how hypnosis works. The hypnotist
'talks' directly to the patient's subconsious and so the message is
acted upon as if it were real. It's only when the conscious brain is
active that the message is analyzed, discerned and possibly
ignored. But the subconscious mind takes everthing into account.
Hence when we criticize ourselves or self-talk negatively, our
subconscious mind picks up some of those signals and processes
them as if they were real.
24

This has the effect of limiting us or building blockages to action.
Self-criticism can hinder us from following actions that are in line
with our life's mission hence making our lives more difficult and
complicated.
Practice:
The good news is that not only can we let go of self-cristicism or
negative self-talk but we can do exactly the opposite - Positive
self-talk. If our subconscious mind can pick up and act upon
negative chatter, then it can also do so with positive affirmations.
And it does. So a good practice is to build the habit of mentally
affirming positive and encouraging thoughts. A lot of people
secretly use mental affirmations with much benefit in their daily
life. This is not wishy-washy stuff but a simple way of hacking how
our mind works.
Limiting Belief #9 - I am my role:

Modern society has created more specialisations and more roles
to fit those specialisations. Moreover, we even switch between
roles in a single day. For example, from parent, to marketing
manager, organizer in a social circle to blog author late in the
evenings. In a way this is a good thing.
The problem is when we believe that our role is identical to
ourself. In short, we identify with that role. A lot of people identify
themselves with their role at work. They get so tied to the idea
that they ARE their role that it affects a lot of their decisions they
take even outside work. This identification creates restrictions and
difficulty when making choices. Simplicity is when our choices,
25
even if little, are not obstructed by inner or outer noise. They are
clean, elegant and effortless.
Practice:
Think about a role you identify yourself with. Could be your job,
your role as a parent, instructor, helper, writer or whatever it is
that you have a solid self-image of. Take note of how you visualize
yourself in this or feel about it. Try to imagine how it would feel to
be dissasociated with it. Imagine how your life's decisions would
be different without you putting that role into the equation.
It might feel very strange at first but the mind can adapt quite
easily and quickly. If you get the habit of dissasociating yourself
mentally from your role, you will realize that there are other
aspects of yourself you haven't allowed to express themselves
before. You might find certain inner conflicts to resolve or untie.
Limiting Belief #10 - I'm running late (letting go of the

ticking clock):
Time is a constant in our life. We all feel its grip. We grow older,
our children grow up in a flick of an eye and we have less and less
time on our hands to finish off projects or actually start new
ones. In short, time can be a ticking pain in the neck.
Apart from our biological clock, our perception of time is greatly
influenced by how intensely we experience change, or by how
little we can actually manage it. Yet the pressure of time is to a
large extent self-imposed by one or more of the following:
26

Mark deadlines and milestones in our head. Example: "I
need to be debt-free by forty"
We create multiple, simultaneously running projects in
excess to what we can handle
We lack good prioritizing - we get distracted by activities
or projects which are not really essential
We do not focus our energies on one thing
We fail to delegate or outsource stuff to others
Practice:
One good practice is to free out a day from your schedule or
calendar. It could either be a weekend or a day off from work.
This day should be left completely free from chores, errands, tasks
or commitments of any type. Set out to just wander about or
explore a park or museum. Do not wear any watches and if
possible stay disconnected from the internet or mobile devices
that notify you with pending tasks or awareness of time.
Do not rush, plan or segment your day into parts. This will feel like
a weird and unfamiliar territory at first, but trust me it is just fine.
See how your mind naturally tries to measure time. The urge to
look at your watch or time displays. Or perhaps thinking about
27
tasks you should be doing or things left undone. At the same time
tell yourself that it is perfectly OK to 'waste' time.
You will not be missing anything critical. Last time I practiced this,
I managed to completely lose the passage of time. I was
immersed in my all day experience and eventually found myself
refreshed and able to cope much better with time and work in the
following days.
28
SECTION
THREE
ELEMENTS OF
SIMPLICITY
4
Space and Time
Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful or

believe to be beautiful
William Morris
n this section we'll talk about the basic elements for

simple living. These foundational elements are the core
principles that will guide you towards a life of effortless
doing and in line with your true purpose. In the section
following this one, we will then look at how these elements of
simplicity are practically applied in the major life areas such as
work, home, money and relationships. But for now let's look into
these key elements and have a clearer picture on the little secrets
of simplicity.
This chapter is about space & time - two important factors in a
person's life that cannot be avoided - but can be managed
wisely.
Elements of Space:
Managing space is at the core of the art of simple living in practice
because if our outer or inner spaces are cluttered with inessential
stuff, we encounter anxiety, obstructions, complexity and lack of
freedom.
This is easy to see from experience. For example, having a
cluttered working space or a room that looks like a tornado aftereffect will give you a bucket load of practical issues - such as
things which cannot be found as they slip beneath mounds of
other items or constant distraction and waste of energy as you
have to shift things around in order to work or move about.
Apart from affecting day-to-day practical issues, our environment
space is also reflected in our inner space. This is the key idea
behind minimalism. In minimalism art, design and architecture,
clear spaces are considered to be of utmost importance. It is in
fact called minimalism, because the amount and effect of objects
within a space is minimal. This is conveyed through wide-open
spaces, simple inobstructive design and clear surfaces. The outer
simplicity then resonates within us to promote inner simplicity
and so minimalist exteriors somehow give us a sense of inner
peace and tranquility.
Now although miminalism and simple living go very well hand in
hand, you do not need to be a minimalist to live a life with
simplicity. For instance, you do not need to convert your home
into a minimalist one.
This is not required although helpful. What is important is that our
exterior space is managed in a way that it opens up, or at least
doesn't negatively influence our inner space...and this takes me to
the importance of inner space.
31
What is inner space?

What I mean by inner space is not a space clear from physical
objects but one that is clear from mental debris - such as overthinking, worries and misconceptions. In the same way that a
cluttered physical space causes practical problems, so does a
cluttered inner space. If your mind is too occupied with dealing
with an overload of information or your analysis of a situation
conflicts with your heart's desires, a lot of inner noise is created
instead of clean space.
Inner space is created when we learn to let go of certain beliefs
and misconception as we saw in the previous chapter. Or when
we have simplified our outer space and life in a way that we have
less confusion and our decisions are easier and clearer.
French impressionist music composer, Claude Debussy was
quoted saying "Music is the silence between the notes". On a close
but parallel line, it can be said that "life happens in the silence and
space between thoughts and things.
I'm not trying to create some Zen wisdom here but there is a
verifiable truth that can be witnessed in real life. When we close
or clutter our spaces, we are not allowing anything new to fit in
and we are not allowing ourselves to move through it easily.
Just like it's difficult to place new things or move about freely in
an obstructed space, it's also difficult for instance to listen to our
intuition and insights when our mind is cluttered with thoughts &
worries. When there is a lot going on in your mind, you become
withdrawn and consumed by your inner chatter. This is like
blocking a space where fresh new creativity perhaps carrying a
solution to a problem might flow in.
This is why the previous chapter is an important one because it
aims at hacking away those beliefs that block our inner spaces.
32

In section four we will also see how to practically manage space.
Here is a quick preview of how inner and outer spaces can be
managed better at different levels:
Physical space:
Declutter working and living spaces

Discard stuff you no longer use
Find a place for everything to store or pack
Keep a simple but effective organising routine
Buy only things which have high value / low
maintenance
Inner space:
Let go of self-limiting beliefs
33
Take a walk
Spend time alone
Disconnect and connect
Meditate
Elements of Time:
It's funny how we are constantly running against time, running
34

out of time or running away from it but we are hardly ever in time
or with time. The pressures of the modern world are partly to
blame of course - dealing with multiple deadlines and catching up
with multiple tasks all the time. But a good part of the reason why
we see time as a villain is because we forget to simplify.
Simplification is a way to manage both space and time. For
example, the same rule of simplicity - that of keeping only the
essentials and hacking away the inessentials applies exactly in the
same way to time. We have to evaluate our time better and see
how to manage our time according to tasks, projects and work
that are essential to our truest life progress or not.
Hence the word here is priorities - a magical word in time
management. For example as Im planning and writing this
chapter on a Saturday morning I have a medium size lists of items
to tick off for the day - working on an other project, errands,
paying bills, etc. My first task of the day after early breakfast was
this one because it takes priority over other identified tasks - its
part of a project that is essential to my life purpose, my passion,
sharing knowledge, perhaps even financially.
Priorities and MITs

How many projects are you committed to? How much
extracurricular stuff do you do? Its impossible or even
counterproductive to try to do it all. You need to say NO and value
your time.
The following is one of the best-tried and tested methods to
prioritise tasks and simplify your schedule. Basically it centres
around the choosing and focusing on your MITs or most
important tasks. This is in line with the very important idea to
focus on one important thing at any time and complete it.
35
So every evening or early morning you can start writing your MITs
for the next day or for that same day if its early morning. Ideally
you should have one really important thing to complete that day
but an average of two or three is fine. I usually have about two.
These MITs have to be the goals or projects that are essential to
your life purpose or minor goals that support goals in line with
your life purpose. You should always focus on one goal at a time
while excluding all the others, most importantly tasks that might
potentially distract you such as using mobile devices, email,
Instant messaging and others.
The target is to always finish the MITs you have identified first.
The other tasks can be batched up and processed in one go or in
bulk sessions. It is imperative to start from the MITs first. Perhaps
sometimes its really impossible to complete your MITs in one
session because of unforeseen urgent things that might come up.
Thats fine. Just do what you have to do and get back to focus on
your MIT. This has to be the general rule.
Apart from the daily MITs, which by the way you can record in the
note-taking device of your choice, be it a simple note pad or voice
recording on your mobile device, you can create a weekly review.
In the weekly review, you set up your MITs for the following week
- that is the most two or three important tasks for the whole
week. One of them could be completing a project or finishing a
chapter in a book you are writing. That would be an MIT for the
whole week. You can then break it down into smaller chunks that
become one of your daily MITs during that week.
Conclusion
For now it is relevant to note how simplifying our life is so central
36

to time management and for managing our outer and inner space.
It will pave the way and make it easier to simplify more aspects of
our life. We all have the same amount of time in a day, week or
year; But managing our time as part of simplifying our life in
general will make a difference between being a victim to time's
merciless crunch or navigating through our day with much less
stress and friction.
37
5
Elegant Choices
Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life,

and the labors of life reduce themselves
Edwin Way Teale
remember those summer holidays as a child with my

neighborhood friends playing all sorts of outdoor games
in the basking afternoon sun or warm summer evenings.
The games were bare and simple as they could get but,
hack, they were fun!! Catch, red light and green light, hide and
seek, marbles, tag - the list goes on and on.
When it came down to choose who would be the seeker or the

captain of the crew, the piggy in the middle or whatever needed
to be picked out, the process was as simple and as fun as the
game itself.
It involved things such as simply counting a number in a circle or
the phonemes in a rhyme, a blindfolded spin and point or perhaps
there would be the kid who would spontaneously raise his hand
and offer himself for the role. Choices were easy - there were no
complex decision-making processes, no algorithms and no
brainstorming. It was just flowing with the energy and fun.

More than anything else, the choices were elegant. Why elegant?
If you google up elegant or elegance, you are given this definition:
Pleasingly ingenious and simple" (when said of a solution to a
problem or scientific theory). And thats what some of the choices
we made when we were young were - pleasingly ingenious and
simple. They were elegant.
We all know how things change as we grow up. Responsibilities
add up, relationships become more complex or fragile, the stakes
become higher and our decisions more consequential. In short
our choices seem to be a hundredfold harder than when we were
young.
The keyword here is seem. When you think about it, choices are
hard or easy depending on information and perspective.
Here are some of the factors that can make a choice

harder than it actually is:
Wrong beliefs and fears - we have seen this in the previous
section
Lack of information about the subject - we are scared of what
we dont fully understand
Lack of perspective on the wider picture - when we look at a
problem from a tiny window
Uncertainty of outcomes - not knowing the future is obviously
the main thing with difficult choices
Conflict between rational mind and intuitive heart - not
having a clear path of action
39
This is why many of our choices in childhood were elegant. Our

heart and mind were clear from too many beliefs and fears,
we werent too much concerned with outcomes and our mind and
heart were in sync.
You might say, yes but childrens problems and responsibilities are
much less than that of an adult. I would say not really. Our
problems and responsibilities level up with age and experience.
What we have mostly changed is our internal bearing. We
think, analyse and evaluate more and as we saw previously this
brings about noise and lack of clarity. We also form layers of
beliefs of how the world is or how it should be. We have more
expectations and hence more limitations and hesitations.
We do not move as freely because we forgot to be simple. Living

a life with simplicity entails relearning to make elegant choices or
rather unlearning all the inessentials we gathered through the
years and turning back to the bare essentials.
40

Here are a few things to keep in mind regarding making
choices in life:
The outcome is always unknown for everyone. What

remains is your power, your strength and your will to
move through the change.
When your thinking and analysis interferes too much with
your hearts deeper calling - choices will be harder
Its easier to make a choice based on feeling & intuition
rather than thinking.
Analysis & thinking should be used to evaluate a choice
and refine it but not to make it
More information can help you gain more perspective on a
given problem but ultimately it is being aligned with your
heart that will drive you forward
41
6
Information
If your mind isnt clouded by unnecessary things, then this is the best
season of your life
Wu-Men
nformation is a double-edged sword It can be crucial

for survival or saving millions of lives yet on a personal
level it can be a source of stress or misguided decisions.
We are heavily bombarded with information all the
time. We all know that. We were already concerned that we had
too much information before the Internet and mobile era - go
figure that!
The Internet, and specifically the mobile internet has ripped open
another universe of information. In the proximate future we will
face another revolution - the internet of everything where we
would basically have multi-media & multi-layered sources of
information seeping through everything - your fridge, your home
appliances, the supermarket trolley, paintings, well any object
imaginable.

We can only start to conceptualise how information will be yet
even more ubiquitous and ever-present in our lives. Imagine
picking up a packet of cereals in the supermarket and your
wearable device will display information about the packet and
how its health benefits and prices compare to other products and
on which shelves they can be found. It will give you a summary of
other similar products you still have in your pantry and their
expiry date. It will gather information about how such a product
was consumed by people of your same blood type, medical
history and lifestyle.
Well you get it - we wouldn't be navigating through a physical
world only but through data about the physical world.
My brief excursion into the near future of the Internet only serves
to make the point about how information can be both helpful
and a distraction at the same time. As with choices in the
previous chapter, the problem with information is our personal
approach to it. If it overrides us and causes complexity and
confusion then we are using it unwisely. If we are using enough of
it to simplify our lives and make things easier then we are using it
wisely.
The issue with information is that it can be a common source of
distraction. Mobile devices are the classical example. How many
times do we see others, and yes ourselves, texting or checking
messages, browsing Facebook updates, reading and writing emails
and so on.
I do understand (up to an extent) doing that while you are in a
waiting room with nothing else to do. But now we have stretched
it to an extreme where we fiddle with our devices wherever we
are - at the dinner table, while supposedly enjoying a walk with
family, while others are talking to us, and so on.
Is all this necessary? I dont think so. Its mostly a habit. Its social
43
conformity to the idea that we have to look busy and on the ball
all the time - catching the latest headlines and keeping tabs on
everything. The truth is that its only shooting ourselves in the
foot. We are making our lives even more complex and stressful.
The art of simple living is about selecting the right information at
the right time and using it in the right way.
Sounds like a mouthful I know but in simpler terms it means using
information in a one shot one, on kill manner instead of letting
ourselves be tumbled and spun around in it.
We started this book with the idea that simplicity is about living
with the bare essentials and discarding the inessentials. Our use
of information needs to follow the same rule. Do not be buried
under tonnes of information that you might never make use of or
forget after a couple of days.
We need to be selective and frugal with information as well.
This doesnt mean living a secluded and isolated life where we
shut off all communication with the outside world. We just have
to know the limits where information stops being useful and
helpful and starts becoming distracting and increases complexity.
In a typical day we are fed a lot of information through different
sources and channels. Our online life has brought this to a new
level especially with social media through Internet connected
mobile devices. The average American adult spends and average
of 5 hours a day just on digital media according to an eMarketer
study published on June 2013. This number is still growing fast.
We need to simplify and digest information more wisely.
We will see how we can do this in a separate chapter. The good
new is that its not all about going back to the Stone Age. We can
44

also use technology itself to help us filter and consume
information in smarter better ways.
Here are my two most valuable apps for simplifying my online life:
Evernote and Flipboard. Im sure that most of you are familiar
with at least one of them.
Basically Flipboard is a mobile app that gathers feeds from
different online sources - News feeds, social media updates, Blog
posts - and presents all that content in one place in a distractionfree magazine style format.
So essentially instead of wasting time browsing through different
sites and getting distracted by videos, banner ads and other things
along the way, I simply flip though this mobile magazine and catch
up with the important things I really need to keep updated with.
Another highly valuable tool is Evernote. Evernote is a free tool
through which you can create notebooks and notes about
anything and keep in one place. Evernote can be accesses from a
desktop and mobile device and will sync automatically.
So I can create text, photo, video or audio notes on the fly
wherever I am and have them immediately synced so I can access
them from work, home or anywhere else. This has extremely
simplified and saved time in my work and research.
45
7
Organising
Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated
Confucious
have to admit that I was for the major part of my life, a

very disorganised person. I never managed to keep
things systematically in place and I was pretty bad at
keeping tabs on my routine tasks in an orderly way.
Confessions apart, I now understand what was the main problem
with my lack of organisational skills. The problem was that I
looked at organising as just another boring routine rather than as
a skill to simplify routine and save time and energy. I was looking
at it from the inside out rather than the outside in.
So the question that I asked was: does being more organised
make us more free or more stuck to routines?. I didnt want to
take it for granted because other people said so all my life. I
wanted to ask the question for myself without any
preconceptions or assumptions.
The answer of course is that it makes us more free unless we are

not obsessed by it an do it compulsively.

It makes us more free when you see it in terms of time and
energy investment.
You invest a little time and effort to put things back in place now,
keep your bills and documents up to date and save an x% amount
of time more later to organise all the mess and get to the bottom
of it when a certain tipping point has been reached.
That tipping point is a point in time where the time needed to put
ALL things back into place is much greater than the sum of its
parts. Or in other words, if organising your stuff day by day would
have taken you a total of 8 hours in a month, after a tipping point
has been reached, it would take you lets say 11 hours to put
everything together in one go. This is mainly due to increased
complexity.
Lack of organisation tends to increase exponentially because
there tend to be destructive interference between objects. The
example is moving content from one house to another in boxes. In
one case, the boxes are all labeled and grouped according to
room or type of object. In another case they are all random and
unsorted. The amount of content is the same but which is simpler
to unpack and resort?
So the importance of organising in terms of simplicity is keeping
the levels of complexity beneath the threshold - the tipping point.
There is no standard dial or meter showing you where that tipping
point is.
Yes, it would be cool if there was an app for that but its almost
impossible to quantify rationally because we all have different
approaches and speeds in life. Its something that you measure
intuitively and through experience. The important point is to keep
organised enough to keep beneath that complexity threshold. You
do not need to overdo it otherwise it will push you off track. Even
47
organisation itself needs to be kept simple and to a minimum.

Dont forget that its not for the sake of organising in itself but as
a way of hacking simplicity in our life.
Another important aspect of organisation is getting into the habit
of doing it. It requires some getting used to and some fine tuning.
It was like that for me. It didnt come naturally and it certainly
didnt come after a single trial. It was a gradual habit forming.
For me it actually started off from one place - the kitchen. I love to
cook so the kitchen is a room I use often. I cook passionately but
after Im done its a total mess. So I started using a simple method
of keeping everything in place on the go. That means I do not
clear after a whole cooking session - since this can be too taxing in
itself. I wash, pack and sort things while actually cooking. This is
like breaking down the organisation session into smaller ones
while in the process of actually using it.
A close parallel is in IT with data transfer over the net. A file is not
transferred as a whole in one go but is broken down into little tiny
data packets that are transferred and then reassembled at the
receiving end. So the process of breaking down the file into small
bits simplifies and speeds up the process.
48
8
Less Doing
Less is more
Mies Van Der Rohe
ne of the central themes in simple living is in fact the art

of doing less (or the art of less doing). This idea although
counter-intuitive to most people in the west, is not new
and is gaining more interest and popularity through the
media. It didnt actually hit stardom as an idea because we have
ingrained in us the concept that doing less means avoiding work
and being plain lazy or lethargic.
As mentioned in the previous chapter, society has installed in us

the habit of being or rather looking busy and on the ball in
whatever we do. In so doing we started drawing a picture of
ourselves as busy automatons in an increasingly complex social
environment.
However, normal 'busyness' or business is most of the time
moving energy around and lifting a cloud of dust which when
settles leaves nothing but more resources of time and money in
the hands of the fewand guess what? Most of the time its not
you!
The key secret in the art of simple living is in fact getting more
done by doing less. Paradoxical as it may sound its practically

true.
Naturally we follow the obvious thinking that the more we do,
the more productive we are and the more things get done. It cant
be farther off the mark. Yes of course the more work input in a
project the faster it approaches completion if that is the only
thing you are focusing on and it is in line with your true purpose
and passion! But this is not the average daily snapshot from a
persons calendar is it?
We are more likely to be dealing with multiple tasks and projects,
the majority of which we have no authentic passion for. We are
inputting more work and energy in things that not all of which are
essential to us.
So yes we are doing more but getting less. What about if we turn
the picture around? We are working less but focused on just one
or two things we are passionate about and is essential to our life
purpose. Wouldnt that be getting more done with less work and
energy?
Not only that. Lets admit for a while that no matter what there
are still some tasks that need to be done even though they are
not essential to your life purpose. Lets face it I dont believe
cleaning the garage or washing up the dishes is in line with
anyones life purpose but needs to be done. Yes it can also be
done not by working harder or faster but by working smarter.
And there is a lot we can do in this direction - from knowing how
to smartly prioritise, delegate work, outsource or use smart tools
to help us get the job done with less work as we keep focused on
our essentials.
The idea of smart tools and outsourcing resources is a topic that
will be dealt with in the chapter about simplicity at work and
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business.
Summary:
Doing more doesnt necessarily mean getting more things
done
A lot of what we do is just about moving energy about
with no thrust forward
Focusing on what is in line with our life purpose will give
us much more by doing less
Those to-do items which are not essential for our life can
be prioritised, bundled, outsourced or carried out by using
smarter tools and procedures
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SECTION
FOUR
Simple Living in
Practice
9
Simplicity at Home
The ordinary arts we practice everyday at home are of more

importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest
Thomas Moore
implicity starts at home. If the home you live in is chaotic,

out of order and in desperate need of some organising
then this might be a reflection of some aspects of your life
or more importantly it might be reflected back into your
life at some point. Our home is were we return to for
comfort, to reset from a hard day of work or a simple a place
where we gather with members of our family. Simplicity at home
is an efficient way to keep balance and harmony between our
family and ourselves. It is also an important starting point to
cultivate and reinforce simplicity in other areas of our life such as
work, business and relationships. OK Lets move straight away to
see how we can start simplifying our homes in practice.
Room Priority:
One very important rule of simple living in practice is: Always
focus on one thing at a time and prioritise whats most
important. Simplifying our home follows the same rule. If we look
at our house as a whole structure to be decluttered and simplified
in one go - then the task will seem enormous and discouraging. If

on the other hand it is dissected into separate rooms which can
be tackled one at a time and in order of priority, the simplification
process will be simplified.
Every home is different than others in size, orientation, number
and purpose of rooms and also systems or rules used by family
members in the house. Yet of course the majority of homes
throughout both the western world and the rest of the world,
have a lot of things which are pretty much in common. There is
always an area to cook and/or eat as is the Kitchen, a place to
sleep as are the bedrooms, a general living space and a lavatory.
These are the core essential room units in a home.
You might have a big house with lots of rooms with different
purposes such as a recreational room, meditation room, sewing
room, kids playroom and so on, but the above are the ones which
we most frequently use and inhabit. Hence it is practical to give
them priority and to start simplifying our homes by looking into
how to simplify these rooms first.
So essentially we should start with a focus on the rooms that are
used all the time hour by hour and seek to simplify and declutter
them first before any other room.
Decluttering the Inessentials:

In chapter four we saw how cluttered spaces are an obstruction to
simplicity and conversely how organised and clutter-free spaces
are conducive to simpler living and to the opening of inner spaces
thus bringing clarity, lightness and happiness in our day to day
life. So how and what can be decluttered? Isnt it the same as
spring cleaning or general house cleaning? In many ways, yes.
The difference is that while spring cleaning or general house
cleaning are aimed towards just clearing away things and
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cleaning, the intention behind decluttering is to put your space in
line with the basic rule of simplicity: discarding the inessentials
and keeping only the essentials.
Moreover it is not just a one time thing - that is done only once
and after which we start accumulating inessential stuff again. If
we turn the art of simple living into a way of life, then decluttering
itself will become minimal and there would no need to be done
often since we would be maintaining an organised and mindful
environment around us.
First of all it is recommended to tackle one room per week or if
you have some more time on your hands, perhaps a room every 2
to 3 days. Do not try to do all at once. Go slow but steady. Dont
forget that the first decluttering session is the heaviest one and
most important. So be sure to take it in slowly and carefully.
Pick on one of the important rooms: Kitchen, Bedroom, Living/TV
room or bathroom. Start decluttering just one room for that
week. Try to do 15 minutes a day. If you get carried away and feel
like doing some more, thats fine.
In the beginning, skip the drawers and cabinets that are out of
sight. Do those later. Focus in the things that are within site first.
Start with the big things: Look around for the big and obvious
like furniture or big equipment or boxes. Which furniture is
basically useless and only taking up space? Which ones do you
love and find an essential part of your houses character? We
naturally feel reluctant to discard furniture perhaps because it
costed us money or has other value of some sort. But these
reasons alone are no justification if you want to simplify your
home and your life. Be practical. Evaluate if the furniture is just
there doing nothing practically useful and whether more space
and lightness is created by actually removing it.
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Clear all flat surfaces: Countertops, desktops, tabletops, etc. Get

a trash bag and start removing all the papers, little junk and things
that accumulate but you dont even remember their origin or
purpose. Be especially merciless with paper. Do not let it take
over your space. You really have to be strict and fight for your
space. You can trash the stuff straight away or put them in boxes
to give away to friends, family or charity if they have some type of
value. The surfaces need to be clear as possible only to retain
useful or important items such as a key tray or a family photo
frame.
When you finally come to the shelves and drawers, take
everything out all at once. Work on one drawer or one shelf at a
time. Once again have a trash bag or a give-away box handy. Start
sorting through the pile one at a time. Pick up an item and make a
decision whether to trash, give-away or keep. Put back what you
want to keep in the drawer or shelf and arrange it nicely. Do this
with all the items in the pile.
An important tip is to be brutal with the first time decluttering
sessions. If you hold back or you are not strict enough it will hit
you back in the future. This is not easy because of emotional
attachment to some items or because while we are picking up an
item from the pile we get some nice memories back connected to
a time when we bought or were using that item. Do not let this
take you over you. Be merciless. Trust me, it will pay off later
If there are some things that you are really uncertain of because
of practical value they dont have now but might have in the
future, put them in a maybe box, label and store away. Be sure
not to over-do this as in the end you will end up moving a pile of
things from one place to another. In the case of kitchen
appliances or utensils, I suggest you make an honest calculation
on its usage. If it has been used between one to three times in a
whole year (for example a pasta machine or a bread maker) then
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give away. Anything which is used more than four times in a year
can be kept if you deem it fit.
Keep on doing this until all the room has been decluttered. Once
finished move on to another room.
Simplicity Maintenance:
Although decluttering rooms is a very big first step towards
simplicity at home, the most powerful and effective way to keep
things simple is creating a system that will stop clutter from
accumulating. My favourite method is decluttering on the go. I
started off this method from the kitchen. I love cooking and I cook
a lot for my wife and daughter. Its something I am passionate
about. However, with too much passionate cooking splashed
around, the kitchen ends up looking like war zone every time I
cook. This did not make my wife happy of course.
So I started keeping maintenance of things on the go. For example
every time I finish using a plate, knife, utensil or pan, I quickly
wash and put back in place immediately. It sounds strange but its
actually so time and energy-saving. The idea is not new of course.
Its breaking down tasks into small chunks and clearing them out
of the way as soon as possible. This method works and works very
good. There are a lot of advantages to this method. To start with,
you will not find a huge pile of work in the end such as dishes,
messy floors, cluttered tabletops and so on. I do not see it as a big
chore because it is interspaced between cooking - something I
love doing. It was also good because I started the habit from the
kitchen and I extended it into other rooms and in other areas of
my life.
Another method is having a place for everything and keeping
everything in its place. This is pretty much an extension of the
declutter on the go method. If for example you are about to put
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something down on a flat surface or you are taking off your shoes,
clothes and stuff, think about where that item belongs. If it
doesnt have a place to be stored, find one and stick with it. Keep
doing this every time as part of the decluttering on the go until it
becomes a habit.
Maintenance can be so much more powerful than clearing away
in one big session. Its easier, faster, takes less energy and most
of all prevents things from falling back into disorder.
The Minimalist Home:

I mentioned elsewhere in this book that it is not necessary to be a
minimalist or have a minimalist home to be living with simplicity.
Minimalism is a form of art, design and architecture. It follows the
concept of beauty in simplicity and open clear spaces. The spirit of
minimalism follows Zen philosophy together with the aim of
creating inner simplicity through outer simplicity.
You do not need to redesign your home into a minimalist one. In
any case, if you have followed the decluttering and maintenance
tips, thats already a good step forward towards a minimalist
home. At the same time you can perhaps turn one of your rooms
into a minimalistic design or just follow certain minimalism design
concepts so as to perhaps lighten up a bit your home.
Here are a few things you can do to:

Minimal furniture and objects: We have seen this with
decluttering the home. Minimalism might perhaps stretch a bit
further by keeping furniture to a bare minimum. A living room
might only contain a few essential furniture, such as a low coffee
table, a couch and perhaps an armchair with a simple design.
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Clear surfaces: This is of utmost importance in minimalistic
design. Surfaces must always be clear so as to give an impression
of clear open space. This idea has a lot to do with simplicity since
clear spaces help the mind from not getting distracted by details
and too many visual cues. It is about clarity, simplicity and focus.
Quality over quantity: Having a minimalist home means objects
have a minimal effect on a given space. So instead of having a lot
of objects with no use and poor aesthetically quality, its rather
better to have a few objects that are really nice, simple and
useful.
Accent decorations: Since minimalistic spaces are about clear
surfaces, white walls and open spaces, sometimes it is necessary
to break the monotony with some subtle but beautiful
decorations that blends well with the rest. My wife is particularly
good at this. She loves creating these accent decorations herself.
For example she used a thin sheet of wood that served as part of
a furniture we gave away, to paint a beautiful relief with pastel
tones and we put it in one of the corridors so as to break away
from white washed walls. Another example is she took two of our
daughters drawings that quite resembled the minimalistic and
surrealistic painting of Spanish painter Juan Miro and framed
them to a wall in our TV room so as to give a bit of an accent.
They actually blended in lovely and people always leave a positive
remark.
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10
Simplicity at Work
Smile, breathe and go slowly

Thich Nhat Hanh
here is no doubt that work or business can be a major

source of everyday stress whatever the job or the
business may be. Tight deadlines, friction with
colleagues, missed targets, frustrating client relations
and much more can really get us screaming out for help at times.
Things get complex and out of hand while the needle on our
stress meter jumps up into the red zone. We have to break down
and understand what are the most common stress factors and
identify those that we can tackle together with systems that we
can simplify and improve.
Here is a short list of stress factors in work or business that can be

acted upon.
Too many tasks and projects running concurrently:

This is the top stress factor related to jobs and business alike, so
we will take a closer look at it. You might have too much on your
plate and you are expected to keep ALL things running smoothly

and without hiccups. This is a common expectation with most jobs
or running your own business. Many times bosses, managers,
colleagues keep on dumping work on you without taking stock of
all the other things going on. In a way they do not need to know
as quite likely they expect that you handle it and prioritise your
tasks since you are the only one who can have a global picture of
tasks coming into your inbox.
Some days we have everything under control and we cruise
throughout the day with relative ease. Other days you might be
losing the edge because of too many things and unforeseen
circumstances mashing together. Here is where simplicity comes
in very handy.
Remember the MITs and chopping off the inessentials to focus on
the essential tasks first? This is a good starting point. Write down
all of your pending tasks, projects and upcoming tasks into a list.
Which ones are the most important tasks? Which ones are in line
with your job or business objectives? Which ones are critical for
the long term success of whatever you are doing? These are your
MITs and they should be given top priority over the rest. Focus on
one of these tasks at a time and allocate the biggest share of your
time and attention.
There might be other urgent matters hitting you in the meantime
such as urgent emails to answer, problems with an important
client, a technical issue that is threatening to slow down a project
and so on. These should be either attended to without spending
too much time on them, delegated to other members of your
team or bundled up together and tackled later.
Another way of seeing it is that you can categorise tasks into
three types: a) Important and urgent, b) Important but not urgent
and c) urgent but not important. For obvious reason, the
important and urgent matters should be tackled first. Important
but not urgent tasks should be given more time and focus than
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urgent and non-imporant tasks while urgent and not important

tasks should be either delegated to others or outsourced,
addressed without spending a lot of time or bundled together and
addressed later at a specific time - say allocating an hour to look
into them.
This takes me to another little secret I have used many times in
my job and personal business but not so many people know about
or else shy away from - outsourcing. We are blessed to live in an
internet age where thousands of people with all the skills
imaginable are ready to do tasks online at little cost. I am talking
about freelancers which provide their services on online
platforms.
I have many times used freelancers to outsource those tasks
which were urgent but not important or else were too time
consuming thus distracting my focus from the MITs. A few
examples of such tasks would be - doing some internet research,
data input, collecting business email addresses within a certain
industry to send to, doing a small write-up, designing something,
fixing some technical bug in a website, SEO related task, doing a
video intro, converting some text into a presentation. I
outsourced all of these mini-tasks and more to freelancers for any
cost between $5 to $50 on average.
How do I do it? Depending on the urgency or complexity of the
task I use any one of these online platforms:
Fiverr.com: I have used this probably over a hundred times. You
buy any services from freelancers for only $5. This is the beauty of
it - all services are $5. Hard to believe but I got all of the tasks I
mentioned before done from freelancers on this site alone.
Freelancer.com: This is one of the most popular freelancer sites
because it has been a few years around. Basically you post any job
you want done and set a maximum budget you want to spend.
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Freelancers will bid for the job and all you have to do is browse
through their profiles and proposals and see which one is best fit
considering their expertise, ratings, experience and cost.
O'Desk: Similar to freelancer.com with some little differences in
how freelancers are recruited. Basically it's still a freelancer site. I
think O'Desk is better if you need writing tasks although you can
find any type of freelancer in any area of expertise.
Elance: Yet another online staffing site. Personally I have only
used Elance once or twice.
Information overload:
We have previously seen how information can be both a lifesaver
and a deterrent to action at the same time. In simple terms, too
much information is an obstacle to simple living. At work or in
business, it's no different. Actually in some cases it can be more
stressful since we are bombarded with information and pressed
to take action in a short time. Information can come from
different channels at different angles - emails, calls, colleagues,
data and figures, schedules, price changes, customer complaints
and a thousand others. Whatever your job or business is there are
times were we are handling too much information at the same
time.
We obviously need to simplify. We need special filters to put the
volume down on some information inputs and amplify other
inputs which are more essential to help us solve some problem or
get us closer to our goals with more ease and less hassle.
One way of handling information overloads, and one which I find
most effective, is by blocking time for certain tasks according to
priority. That means that if I am working on finishing off a
particularly important part of a project - for instance preparing
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this chapter - I block all other information inputs for a stipulated

time (say 1 hour) or until the task is complete. I turn off my
phones, disconnect from the Internet (or turn off IM application,
social media, etc) and I make sure I am not interrupted in anyway
by anyone or anything.
It's the same thing at work. I list down what are the most
important tasks (MITs) of the day every morning or the previous
day. Sometimes it's one really major task but sometimes it can be
two or three. I try to block the necessary time for those tasks and
exclude everything else such as block phone calls, close off the
email client and switch off my mobile. Now I know that there are
circumstances where this is not possible. This is understandable
but I will always try to 'force' this method as it always pays off in
the long run. Yes sometimes urgent emails and calls get
unanswered for half an hour or an hour but that is fine because
you have identified clearly what your most important tasks are and your most important tasks are the ones aligned to your work
or business objectives. In that sense you are covered.
Another good way of simplifying information is by using
contextual to-do lists. It's basically like a normal to-do list where
you list down tasks you need to do or information you need to use
later but the tasks, notes and information are listed under a few
simple categories - for example 'Work', 'a Project name, 'Home',
etc.
Basically the contexts need to be as few and simple as possible
and it is up to you to decide what they should be. So any new
task, note or information can be categorised into one of these
bucket groups and dealt with later or when its time is due. The
importance of to-do lists or note taking is to take off information
off your mind and into the list. The problem with information
overload is in fact that your mind would still be subconsciuosly
processing information hence diluting your focus.
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As for contextual to-do lists, I use an app called Todoist. It is
available in a number of platforms such as iOS, OSX, Android and
browsers such as Chrome and Firefox. You setup one account and
it syncs to wherever you are using it. Todoist allows you to build
your colour coded categories and label them so you can add tasks
to them. You can also schedule a reminder at a particular day or
time.
Emails:
Emails have completely changed the business world and the way
we communicate. At the same time email is a double-edged
sword. They have revolutionized communication but are very
disruptive to our daily workflow and business. Sometimes they
come in torrents and we spend most of our time answering them.
Some jobs like customer support for instance struggle hard to get
close to the bottom of their inbox and as soon as they get there
it's already full again!
Here are a few practical tips to keep your email management
simple and your inbox clean:
Do not check your email first thing in the day: I used to do that
for a long time. The problem with it is that without you knowing it
will suck you in and waste a good hour or two of your day.
Remember the MITs? Always start from the most important tasks
of the day first and focus on those.
Do not be an email hawk: Stop checking your email. There is a
very common habit of constantly checking for new emails even
when working on something or using a different application. Also,
if you have email notifications popping up on your desktop or
mobile screen - turn them off. I am always fascinated when I
come across managers who have this notification setup and
wonder how it doesn't frustrate them having this thing pop up like
5 times or more in a minute!!
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Take action on an email straight away: When you open an email

and read it, decide straight away what to do with it. So basically if
you can respond to the email straight away just do it. If the email
is quite long and you need to read it later, tag it 'read later' and
archive. If it's junk or can dispose of it, trash it immediately. If the
email requires action, you can take note of it on a to-do list (hint:
Todoist) then archive it where you can easily retrieve it later. If
you need to await for a response you can create a 'wait folder'
and keep it there until concluded then archive.
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11
Simplicity in Love
Living simply makes loving simple

Bell Hooks
elationships are the most significant elements of our lives

because they can be our strongest asset but they can also
be a source of complexity and stress which needs to be
simplified. Since relationships are really the biggest
influence in our life, they should take priority over other
areas. Dont forget that our relationships can build a foundation
for other things to rest upon. When our relationship with our
loved ones or friends is a strong and healthy one it forms a solid
base which supports all our other pursuits in life. Likewise when
relationships are simple and easy going, our life becomes more
simple and easygoing.
The status of our relationship is very much reflected in all the

other things that we do and vice versa - learning to live more
simply opens up new spaces wherein our relationships can
flourish and accommodate themselves better.
Living simply makes loving simple says Bell Hooks. I like this quote
because it pretty much sums up this concept in one simple and
neat sentence. When we start living with simplicity, we start
shedding away a lot of the inessential distractions and pursuits

which are unfaithful to our real life purpose. We become more
focused, serene and in line with our nature. This is where our
heart becomes more balanced. We might not notice it at first, but
rest assured that the others around you will. You will give off a
different vibe and you respond to situations and people in a more
balanced way.
This is because within the course of our lives, our mind is very
often in conflict with our heart. This is such a common human
problem. Remember when I mentioned how we are influenced
and made to believe that our wants are our needs in chapter 2?
We are made to believe something that is not our true calling but
a template laid out by somebody else. Hence our heart becomes a
bit confused and in conflict with what our mind is conditioned to
think is right or wrong. But the heart always knows the right
answer even though it is silent most of the time. This conflict
creates noise and lack of clarity that is reflected in our
relationships and life in general.
Moreover, human relationships can be very fragile and
complicated in themselves but Simplicity can be a real guide to
their improvement. Here is a list of the root causes affecting
relationship problems - whether it's a romantic, family or
friendship relationship. These roots causes are all aspects of a
more general problem mentioned before - the lack of a simple
syntony between our heart and mind.
Expectations:
This is perhaps a major cause of friction in relationships which is
underestimated or not very often addressed. We all have
expectations about other people and the world around us. It's like
a model in our head of how people and things should behave. We
sometimes get upset when these expectations are not met and
people's behavior deviate from that mental model. Perhaps our
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partner responds emotionally to our actions or words in a
different way that we would like or is considered ideal to us. Or
perhaps she or he has a completely different set of habits which
makes living together in the same space somehow problematic.
So we have expectations about how our spouse, partner or
people close to us should behave but these expectations are not
always met. This is why we sometimes feel there is something we
dislike, disappointing us or makes us angry about people we have
close ties with. We are mostly unaware of this. We dont see that
it is coming from an unmet expectation ingrained in our heads all we feel is basically the emotion that comes up when those
expectations are broken.
Lets face it, in a middle of an argument people dont usually say
Oh sorry honey your actions or words should not be taken to
heart. I know its actually ME who cannot see past my
expectations of you. Your actions are not upsetting in anyway. Its
just my expectations of them that is causing me to get upset!
A lot of couples who have been happily married or in a
partnership for a good number of years will often tell you that the
secret to their happy relationship was to accept the other person
as he or she is. I'm sure you've heard it many times. Acceptance is
an act of simplicity really because it does not go through that
conflict between mind and heart. Acceptance comes straight from
the heart. It bypasses that model in our mind of how people
should behave so to speak.
Of course acceptance does not come so easily or in a
straightforward way. It comes from adopting a general attitude of
openness which as we saw is born out of letting go of some of our
beliefs - an important key to simple living. It is also set in motion
and very much helped by starting to simplify other areas of your
life because practicing the art of simplicity slowly transforms you
to a new version of yourself that is lighter and more aligned to
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life's purpose, hence balanced.
Putting the blame on others:

Blaming others for something that has upset us or broken our
heart is mostly a natural consequence to the previous problem expectations. When our expectations are not met we attribute
our hurt or frustration towards the action of the other person. We
externalize our inner hurt and direct it towards what we belief is
the cause of it - the other person. But blaming others is not just a
matter of unmet expectations. As fallible humans we can blame
others for all sorts of things that we go through - guilt, shame,
failure, disappointment, anger, frustration and others. Blaming
our partners or people we are in a close relationship with can be
something that rocks and bruises that relationship sometimes for
a long time.
But why do we blame others? Is it because others are the TRUE
cause of our problems or feelings? OK now Im sure that there are
several occasions where the self-centered, egoistic or childish
behavior of others can be the thing which sets off a chain of
events and tension. And we would be partly right in finding the
cause of the problem in that behavior. But truly and honestly this
will not solve anything and it is only part of the truth anyway. The
truth is that we are very subjective creatures who can behave
erratically sometimes and since we are connected to others, there
will always be mutual effect between our behavior and that of
others. As they say, it takes two to Tango.
This is the thing, it is really really hard for someone to see things
really objectively when her or his feelings are hurt. In an
argument, for instance, we very rarely can see ourselves reacting
or realize how inappropriate our words or actions are. All we can
see are the actions of the other. Relationships are always in a
feedback loop. It never flows one way. So it is also very true that
what we see as inappropriate behaviour of others close to us,
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could also be a reflection and a reaction to our own behaviour
which we cannot see. The others are mirrors to ourselves. You
cannot measure, assess or blame the actions of others by leaving
yourself out of the equation. You are part of that equation.
A secret to simplicity in relationships is keeping this analogy of
feedback loops in mind at all times. We must come to understand
and pay close attention to the fact that the way others are
behaving is partly a reaction to our own behaviour. This can be
seen most clearly when we go into an argument with others. The
other person is upset and says something hurtful to us or criticises
us in a way that makes us feel bare. We respond unknowingly
with equal or greater impunity and this reinforces the other
persons argument or criticism towards us. This keeps on going in
what is called a positive feedback loop where two parties of a
relationship give feedback to each other and every feedback loop
gets amplified more and more.
What we need is negative feedback or attenuation although the
title is misleading and counter-intuitive because we think of
negative as in negative emotions but it's only referring to the
feedback loop. This is when one of the individuals in an argument
or disagreement, understands and is aware of this situation and
instead of reacting to the other persons language or behaviour,
chooses to stop and not react. After a while the other person will
also change his or her behaviour by slowing down, lightening up
or just change the mood or energy of the situation. There again
one behaviour starts affecting and mirroring the other. This can
be both in a positive or negative way.
Masters in the art of simple living know very well how to simplify
and lighten up relationships through a strong grasp of how people
react and respond to each other and by being aware that we are
always a central part of this dynamic.
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Misguided truths & misinterpretations:

As we saw with the problem of expectations and blaming others,
there is a common theme that revolves around having a skewed
perspective of the truth. In the case of putting the blame on
others, we have a misguided version of the true picture - because
we are not seeing how we would be affecting the other person to
behave the way she or he does. So partiality or subjectivity will in
a way imply that we do not see the whole picture or the whole
truth at any one time. With lack of a more complete picture we
tend to misinterpret the facts. In the case of relationships, by facts
I mean what we see as factual from our point of view such as the
others words, behaviour and many times how we feel about it.
From these partial facts we interpret a situation and come to a
conclusion based on those facts. However an interpretation based
on partial facts and or a subjective bias of those facts tend to be
more of a misinterpretation rather than an interpretation. We
have got to watch out not to misinterpret the actions of other
because this will lead to problems and tension. We have to stay
away from judging or interpreting the other persons actions too
quickly.
We need to hesitate before striking a judgement or coming to any
conclusion of some sort. Keep in mind that what we think is a true
picture of the situation is not a true picture at all. We are only
seeing it from a partial and subjective angle. Keep this in mind at
all times and things will tend to get simpler - much simpler.
Misinterpretations are things to avoid in relationships or in any
other area of life for that matter. Its always wiser to drop the
urge to judge another persons actions based on our
interpretation of the moment. Keep judgements at bay and
things will get better, richer and simpler.
72

Not listening to our heart:
We do listen to our heads more often that we listen to our hearts.
Sometimes we can even say that we live in our heads, as an
expression to mean that we are a little bit consumed by our own
thinking and worldview. Do we ever live in our hearts? Ive never
heard of that as an expression only because perhaps it doesnt
happen that often. I mentioned how in the broadest sense, our
difficulties in relationships come from having a disparity between
heart and mind. Our thinking can overpower or overshadow the
messages coming from our heart. When I say the heart, it doesnt
mean the physical heart of course. Its a metaphor for an inner
space of deeper understanding and wisdom that is beyond our
thinking and conceptualisation. Listening to our heart, or that
deeper calmer inner space where things are clearer, is
synonymous with the art of simple living.
We covered this with the concept of intuition versus thinking in
chapter 3. Intuition comes from that inner clear space we call
heart. Thinking on the other hand is a series of never ending
replays of past or fictitious events, discerning and evaluation and
pattern abstractions. When it comes to relationships more than
anything else, over-thinking prohibits simplicity and positive
change. Try to maintain a relationship with your head instead of
with your heart and its bound for disaster. You need to listen to
your heart, especially when things get a bit rough and difficult.
The heart can be a guide when our mind is lost and has no
apparent clue to a solution.
Getting into the habit of listening to our heart is also a good
exercise in softening our hard outer shell, be more positively
responsive to the other person and last but not least, be more
sensitive and open to listen to our inner self. Not surprisingly it is
also true that the more we learn to listen to our heart, the more
we learn to be emphatic to what others are feeling even if they do
73
not explicitly say it or show it. In a way you can say that you are
starting to pick up signals outside the loud chatter in your head.
Listening to our heart makes our relationship a hundredfold
simpler because we avoid going through unnecessary friction,
misunderstanding and painful clashes. It means communicating at
a different bandwidth where we bypass expectations, judgments
and misinterpretations. We do not let our mind dictate how the
other should behave to be in line with our expectations. Listening
to the heart goes beyond that. It tells us directly what we really
need and if we follow that inner conviction, things get so much
more simple.
Let me recapitulate the main points of this chapter and look at

them from a birds eye point of view:
The conflict between our heart and mind is a major

stumbling block to simplicity especially in relationships
The conflict is reflected in our relationships and gives rise
to three root problems: False expectations, Blaming,
misinterpreting & being disconnected with our heart
When we expect less and accept others for what they are,
our relationships become stronger and simpler
Keep in mind that others actions are partly a reflection of
and a reaction to your own actions - The concept of
relationships as feedbacks
74

Blaming others will not solve anything. When we trace
back the others fault back to us we become more
impartial and balanced.
You need to drop the urge to quickly judge, criticise or
blame others. Our judgments are mostly based on partial
and biased views.
Keep judgments at bay and your relationship will get
simpler, more positive and lighter
Get in the habit of listening to your heart - that inner space
of deeper understanding and wisdom which goes beyond
thinking.
A relationship should be lived through the heart and not
through the head. Listen more to your heart and analyse
situations less with your head.
75
Simple Parenting
12
Your children need your presence more than your presents

Jesse Jackson
he pinnacle of our daily rush and hectic lifestyles

revolves around parenting. Not because parenting is
negative or stressful in itself but because we push
ourselves very hard to give the best to our children. We
spread ourselves thin between cleaning up messy play areas,
dropping them off to dance lessons and other activities, helping
them with studies or homework and a list of another hundred
chores.
Parenting calls for simplicity in two major ways: 1) We need to
simplify our approach to parenting and 2) we also need to create
an environment to teach our children to live with simplicity
Simplifying parenting
Here is a list of important things to do or avoid in order to simplify
and make parenting a less resource intensive apsect of our life:
Teach them to solve problems:

The value of learning and education is not about learning how to
read and write or about learning a subject matter like maths or
biology. The real value is about teaching children how to think and
creatively solve problems on their own. And this is where
education has failed miserably. We have a schooling system (and
this applies worldwide) where it teaches children to learn things
by rote instead of giving them the tools to explore and solve
problems themselves. Teaching children to solve problems is a
good investment in two ways. It makes them more independent
and hence less reliable on your help while at the same time your
are giving them lifelong tools which will make their life so much
better and simpler. How do we teach our children to solve
problems? The answer is by refraining from giving them readymade solutions on how to do this and that. Give them space to try
things themselves and allow them to fail. The human brain is an
extraordinary adaptive system. In the absence of ready-made
answers it will be driven to find the answers by itself.
Avoid hyper-parenting:
As parents we are anxious to impart the best knowledge and
values to our children. We want to squeeze the best out of us and
give it to them. Unconsciously this can drive us into hyperparenting where we overdo things and this has counterproductive effects. As a start, hyper-parenting drains and
consumes us. It makes things more complex rather than simpler
for us. As for the children, hyper-parenting restricts the space for
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freedom where they can expand and create by themselves - most

of the time by trial and error. It can also make them reliable on
you and therefore less able to tackle situation independently. It
also undermines the development of personal confidence and the
right self-image.
Teach them to be self-sufficient:

This is more or less a direct product of the former two points.
Allowing children to be independent by teaching them how to
solve problems themselves while avoiding hyper-parenting is
clearly a way to teach them to be self-sufficient. When a child
encounters a problem or a relatively difficult situation, be there in
the background for moral and emotional support but tell her that
she WILL find the solution herself. Give them the space and if they
fail or they need correction, thats perfectly fine because
obviously they will. Doing this time after time will help the child
develop the ability to be self-sufficient. Even from a toddler or
pre-schooler age and in situations that are relatively trivial, such
as opening a box lid or putting on a shoe, there are ample
occasions that can be lesson opportunities for self-sufficiency.
Let older siblings help the younger ones:

This is a favourite one with parents who have more than one
child. I cannot talk from direct experience about this one since I
only have one child but a have a lot of friends and family who
have two or three children and they often tell me what a
simplification to parenting having older siblings is. Quite naturally,
older brothers or sisters will take this role without much
instruction but its always great to let them know how
appreciated and helpful their contribution to the family is. Older
brothers and sisters can cover some of the tasks and free up some
time for you. Things like helping their younger siblings to dress up,
brush teeth, watch over, carry stuff and so on.
78

Do not over-schedule:
We send our children to gymnastics, soccer, drama, choir and a
thousand other extra-curricular activities everyday. Once again,
its a question of overdoing or hyper parenting. Should we send
our children to every extra-curricular activity that they dream of
or that we think is fit for them? Do we really have to give in to the
social pressure of do, do and do some more? While physical
activity is important for your child, is it necessary that your nineyear-old boy goes to soccer, karate and rugby at the same time?
Well the answer is certainly not. Fun outdoor games with the
family on a Sunday afternoon can be so much more rewarding.
Warning: you have to be inventive to win the attention over from
handheld video games, youtube and other media.
Create routines:
Create simple daily routines that can systemise and simplify
parenting. Giving your child the habit of a routine can moderate
time and effort on your part needed to direct the child to certain
tasks. Routines need not be overdone though. Too much routine
will bring dullness and leave little free space where the child can
expand her play and creativity. Freedom would be taken at the
expense of structure. On the other hand, a little bit of structure is
needed to simplify some tasks. A very good system that always
works wonders for preschoolers and early grades alike is the
reward chart. Basically a chart is drawn (let the child to the
drawing!) every week with the day of week as columns and the
routine tasks as rows. The tasks could be anything but preferably
let these be tasks that need to be performed everyday such as
cleaning up toys, bathing, washing teeth, etc. A sticker star or a
very good sign will be placed in each box if the task is
accomplished successfully. At the end of the week a small reward
will be given if a certain number of tasks, or all tasks have been
79
accomplished successfully.
Teaching our children to Live with Simplicity

We are parenting our children in a fast-paced, information overloaded society. Therefore, in parenting, as in all other areas in life,
we are basically facing the same problem with complexity:
Children have too much stuff, too much information, too many
distractions, too many choices, too many inessentials.
Back to our mantra again: Simple living is about discarding the
inessentials and focus on what is essential to your life purpose.
The same thing applies, if not with more relevance, to parenting!
Parenting is a vast subject to handle in one chapter. The essence
of putting simplicity into parenting is applicable to children of all
ages - from toddlers to adolescents. However for the sake of
simplicity, I will be giving some focus on preschoolers and early
grade years since these are the most important formative years.
Our job is to guide our children in the right environment to learn
what is meaningful and essential to their personal growth while
giving them the space and the tools to solve the same issues with
today's complex society. In short, it's giving the lessons on how to
live with simplicity.
But how do we do this? We must begin by simplyfing; we must
get back to basics. Cut out the extraneous, keep it simple.
Here are some important areas to start from:
Purging Toys:
80

Toys should be tools and instruments of the imagination and not
there to vanquish boredom. Toys can be really valuable to our
child's upbringing if they are of the right type and in the right
amount. Often children have too many toys strewn around in
every quarter of the house. They quickly get bored with them and
just as they do, they already have their eyes on the next new
thing. Toys become just quick boredom quenchers. When children
get quickly bored with toys it means that those toys stopped
inviting their imagination to flow. Like most other physical
objects, they become clutter that accumulates. So an important
way to bring simplicity into this is to purge toys according to two
criteria: Quantity and quality.
First of all, children do not need toys every week and they do not
need them in the hundreds. It was always a firm understanding
between my daughter and us as parents to keep it down within a
certain limit and if she grows out of some toys, then she has the
autonomy and the responsability to decide to give it away.
Secondly, and more importantly, toys need to be theme neutral
and stimulate the imagination. What do I mean with theme
neutral? For example toys that are branded after a certain kids
movie or after a certain popular game have a certain fixed role.
I'm sure you know which ones I am talking about. Children are in a
way limited by the expectation of that role because they have
seen the movie, read the story or played that game before. That
toy is locked inside a theme.
Theme neutral toys are more 'elastic' because their role and
function can be stretched by the imagination of the child. My
daughter loves to improvise a story (and involve me in it!) using
bits and pieces of theme neutral toys as props for her 'stage'. One
day something can be a magic cape for a heroine, the next it could
be a table cloth for an afternoon tea party between best buddies.
The same element is transformed by the imagination. There are a
81
lot of things that are theme-neutral toys or which can be tools for
the imagination when choosing toys for your children.
Touch & Experience Based Play:

With modernization and technological advancement, child play
has also become more and more disconnected from the earth and
nature. I remember when I was a boy in the 70s, me and my
neighbourhood friends used to go out and play in the fields
nearby. We use to spend long summer days in the open air,
playing scouts, making natural shelter with branches and leaves,
collecting tadpoles and watch them grow, run after butterflies
and all sorts of outdoor games you can imagine. We used to get
soiled and dirty, climbing, falling, rolling and sliding. We had no
video games and TV was as child-friendly as a minefield. Fun was
left to our imagination and the bare outdoors.
Nowadays, I see so many children from a really early stage stuck
in front of screens of all formats - tablets, mobile, handheld video
games and the TV screen. Sometimes it's sad to see a family
gathering with all the family members stuck to their screens. Now
let me be completely honest with you - I am not a technophobe
who is against technology, online media and virtual stuff. I do
know that there is a lot of learning to be had from TV, Youtube
videos, educational games and apps in the right amount. Children
need this kind of input as it also helps stimulate their imagination
and increases their general knowledge.
What is clearly unhelpful is the alienation and disconnection that
comes from long hours in front of a screen and immersed in a
world that is totally virtual. Children need to develop and learn by
experiencing stuff with their senses and by interacting and
tinkering with objects around them. The more they do that, the
more they are reinforcing their cognitive abilities, imagination,
problem-solving skills and the ability to respond naturally to the
82

world around them. They become more emotionally adept to
life's circumstances.
What are touch-based games? There are an infinite number of
things you can get your children involved in. My all time favorite
sensory-based play I do with my daughter is: Sowing seeds and
growing plants (with personal names she gives them!), making
stuff with air-drying clay, painting, going for walks and finding
'treasures' such as rock crystals, craft work, creating scents from
flowers and tree bark, playing on the sand at the beach. These are
a few examples from the many.
Avoiding Quick Fixes:

When our life is stressed and complex we tend to cascade it down
to other areas of our life and parenting is one of them. If our
children are bored, grumpy and nagging but we have way too
many things on our mind, we are tempted to go for quick fixes
and shortcuts. A good example of a quick fix is giving our child a
tablet to watch a video or play a game. Perhaps buying any toy as
a way to temporarily appease a tantrum. We need to avoid these
quick fixes.
Boredom can be turned into excitment and an opportunity for
cultivating more imagination. When my daughter complains "but
i'm so bored!", I just give her a few suggestions of something she
can create and come up with and one of them might spark the
right idea to set her creating a game or some sort of
entertainment. One idea, which always works for us, is that I tell
her to come up with a story through enacting some of her toys
and I record a two-minute short video. She loves being the
screenwriter and director of her own play!
Encourage story telling:
83
The last point takes me to another important concept - story

telling. Since time immemorial story telling has been the vehicle
for both cultivating the imagination of the storyteller and
capturing the imagination of the audience. Story telling is also a
very powerful communication tool. As adults we can be highly
intelligent individuals and knowledgeable about our subject
matter, but it will always be those who are storytellers who will
get listened to, appreciated and admired.
Story telling is an essential skill to learn. Children already have this
natural ability but we need to encourage it and allow it to grow.
Story telling can also be both something we can do for our
children (children love stories) and a part of their creative play.
Let them come up with a sort of story plot - doesn't matter if it's
absurd (it might be absurd for you!). They can draw a sketch of
the plot and then let them tell the story. It can also be good to
record on video and playback. This gives feedback and reinforces
the excitment!
Create distraction-free areas:

Children are constantly looking for play and everything can be a
source of play for them. This is perfect and as should be. It only
becomes a problem during homework and study time since every
little noise, picture or movement can be a source of distraction.
Their 'monkey mind' would be constantly trying to pick up signals
and interpreting them as sources of play. I personally do not agree
with coercing children to work when all they want is play but
things can be simplified and made easier if there are fewer
distractions around. Creating distraction-free areas is not only
helpful for study but also for creativity time or when doing
crafts.
Highlight the importance of being passionate:
84

Now this is something schools definitely do not teach you. The
single most important advice you can give someone is to follow
his or her passion since this will definitely be in line with his or her
life purpose. This is also an essential theme in living the art of
simple living.
Children are passionate about what they do. I see my daughter
when she focuses all her energies in her play. She is totally in the
flow. Let them know how important this is to achieve whatever
they want in life. Passion is something always available on the tap
when we are young but it is forgotten or grinded down when we
grow older. Let them be conscious of how that energy can be
used to pierce through any adversity life can throw at them.
85
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gilbert Ross is a writer, Philosopher, free-thinker, life
coach and teacher.
Gilbert has been writing about personal growth topics for
a number of years on his blog Soul Hiker and on various
other media. He is passsionate about researching, writing,
practising and teaching people how to achieve positive life
transformations and unleash the limitless potential of
their mind.
Gilbert has studied Philosophy at the University of
London and University of Malta. He is husband to a
supportive wife and father to a beautiful daughter.
Gilbert is also passionate about cooking, traveling,
learning and exploring new life skills and listening to
music.
You can follow Gilbert on:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Gross39
Google+: https://www.google.com/+GilbertRoss
Twitter: https://twitter.com/GilbertRoss9

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The Art of

SECTION ONE: INTRODUCTION

WHAT IS SIMPLICITY? ....................................................... 1

SECTION TWO: SHIFTING GEARS

NEEDS & WANTS ............................................................. 5

SECTION THREE: ELEMENTS OF SIMPLICITY

SPACE AND TIME ........................................................... 30

SECTION FOUR: SIMPLE LIVING IN PRACTICE

SIMPLICITY AT WORK ................................................... 60

ABOUT THE AUTHOR ...................................................... 86

Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful

ust close your eyes for a minute and go through a typical

Living with simplicity means living your life without unnecessary

What do I need to live with simplicity?

The Art of Simple Living

t the heart of living simplicity in your daily life is the idea

noise, slowing us down and causing stress and fatigue.

The Art of Simple Living

are not able to step out of the 'merry-go-round' but unconsciously

The Art of Simple Living

analysis as in the previous table. The list is a bit more varied. So

Savings account for

New apartment door

Unhappy with current job

Very important to sustain a

New sports shoes

Not disrupting performance or

So all this starts giving us a pattern that enables us to have a

The Art of Simple Living

Here is a summary of the salient points covered in this chapter:

Simplicity is about living with the bare essentials

The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go

n the previous chapter we covered a simple but

Also, what we really need to let go of the inessential things is to

Limiting Belief #1 - I need to get or gain something to

The Art of Simple Living

Limiting Belief #2 - I need thinking to figure out my

Moreover, when we over-think or over-analyze situations it

The Art of Simple Living

Limiting Belief #3 - I need approval of others to live

The Art of Simple Living

Limiting Belief #4 - I need to be financially secure to live

Limiting Belief #5 - I need to do, do, and do some more:

I can answer for myself. I have spent years working on endless

The Art of Simple Living

Maintaining balance in life and moving forward while doing less is

Limiting Belief #6 - My end goals are always

The Art of Simple Living

Limiting Belief #7 - I need to do things in a certain way

How do you let go of compulsive behavior? As most other things,

Limiting Belief #8 - I am not good enough (Letting go of

Self-talk can be seen as a silly concept for some. How could we

The Art of Simple Living

Limiting Belief #9 - I am my role:

Limiting Belief #10 - I'm running late (letting go of the

The Art of Simple Living

Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful or

n this section we'll talk about the basic elements for

The Art of Simple Living

What is inner space?

The Art of Simple Living

Declutter working and living spaces

Let go of self-limiting beliefs