Consider this statement:

The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above
statement means. Describe a specific situation in which maximizing profits might not be the primary
goal of a business. Discuss what you think determines whether or not the primary goal of a business
should be to maximize profits.
Essay #1: The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits.
In this capitalistic society where people are constantly trying to succeed, many people
adopt the idea that every business should try to gain as much money as it can. Many
businesses try to earn as much as they can with as little as they can. They try to get
maximum profit with minimal effort.
However, there are plenty of businesses that do not mainly seek to maximize profits,
specifically non-profit organizations such as the Red Cross. These businesses try to
give as much as possible.
The primary goal of businesses depends on why it was founded. If it was founded to
make a profit, then it should try to gain as much money as possible. If it was founded to
help people, then it should try to give its money away.
SCORE POINT: 1
ANNOTATIONS:
The ideas in this paper are virtually undeveloped. The lack of development, in turn, negatively affects
both clarity of thought and organization. The thinking is highly superficial, and the organization is
excessively simple. The language is basic, relying heavily on simple sentences.
Essay #2: The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits.
The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits. Every business seeks
to acquire large sums of money and profits from consumers. Every business owner
desires personal wealth and benefits from maximizing profits. The goal in business is to
minimize costs, and to maximize what is gained. This allows the business to grow, to
improve its products, and to stay competitive.
Although most businesses follow this concept, some businesses may not choose to
maximize profits. The Boys and Girls Club is an organization that works with children
at risk of joining a gang or becoming a criminal. The Boys and Girls Club is a business, a
business that isnt concerned with maximizing profit. The Boys and Girls Club is more
interested in spending its money to help these children at risk to break free from the

cycle of violence that surrounds them. The people who run this business or are a part of
it seek only to build a better foundation for these children. They want to see these
children rise out of poverty and have a chance at catching the American Dream.
The main determinant of a businesss goal should come from what the business aspires
to gain in the end. A business that focuses on the quantity of their relationship with the
consumer will be a business that attempts to maximize profits. A business that sells
products like clothing and shoes in large quantities, for example, is an example of a
business that seeks to maximize profits because that is the ultimate goal of the
industry. An organization or business that focuses on the quality of their relationship
with the consumer, like the Boys and Girls Club whose principle goal is to improve the
lives of these kids, are not going to be so profit hungry. Instead, theyre striving to
improve the well-being of their consumers.
SCORE POINT: 3
ANNOTATIONS:
This paper is a typical three: it shows some clarity of thought, some development, and some control of
language. Additionally, the treatment of the rhetorical assignment is coherenteach paragraph
effectively responds to a different aspect of the promptthough not particularly unified or focused.
The writer struggles to make effective transitions between paragraphs and struggles to use language in
a manner that allows the clear and fluid elaboration of ideas.
Essay #3: The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits.
The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits. This statement
represents a strong and unwavering decree. It demands profit above all other things. It
rates surplus income as its highest goal. It makes no allowances for values, ethics, or
integrity in the work of a business, only money. To make such a forthright statement
necessarily brings with it potential criticism.
Nonetheless, it is certainly understandable that the primary purpose of some
businesses isand should beto make money. In fact, our current economic system
strongly relies on the notion that each business tries to maximize its own profits,
thereby breeding competition between providers of similar goods. The resulting
competition creates a benefit for consumers: falling prices. If businesses were not
trying to make a profit, they would soon become defunct and be forced to close their
doors. In this sense, it is absolutely vital that businesses maintain strong profit margins
in order to stay afloat so that they can provide products for their customers and jobs
for their employees.

At the same time, as alluded to earlier, profit should not be the sole goal of every
business. Consider, for instance, pharmaceutical companies. Certainly, they are far from
being charitable organizations. However, profit should not be the primary goal of their
work; producing a high-quality, safe, and effective product should be. What if, for
instance, bias were to intervene in the research of new drugs or treatment methods
because of financial pressure? The results could affect the health and wellbeing of
thousands. Businesses, like pharmaceutical companies, whose products affect the health
and welfare of the public are obligated to put quality before profit.
Terence said, Lupus homo homini or Man is a wolf to man. He believed that men
intrinsically fought against and were hostile to one another. This attitude is certainly
present in the business world. At the same time, since its already innate, it shouldnt be
a point of emphasis. For the good of humanity we need to rememberin some cases,
perhaps mostthat businesses need to have integrity and need to behave in a socially
responsible manner.
SCORE POINT: 5
ANNOTATION:
This paper shows clarity, focus, and unity from the beginning to the end. Complexity is introduced in
the third paragraph, where the writer effectively demonstrates that many businesses must balance the
profit motive with other, more humane, considerations in order to be successful. The writers effective
diction and control of sentence structure allow for the efficient development of ideas. Though not
much longer than many papers that earn the score of 4, the authors ideas are more thoroughly
developed as a result of better language control and greater complexity.

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