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HowNottoWriteaLoglineScriptMagazine

HowNottoWriteaLogline
By: Script Magazine | January 23, 2015

Angela Bourassa is the founder of LA Screenwriter and the Director of the LA Screenwriter Logline Competition.
She is an award-winning feature comedy writer, and her favorite films are Memento and Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind.
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Writing a screenplay is a challenge. Writing a screenplay worthy of the attention of top agents and producers is a
monumental endeavor. It takes years of practice, study of the craft, and faith in oneself. Unfortunately, once youve
written a script worthy of production, theres still one obstacle that stands in your way: the logline.
The logline is an art form all its own. Its a one sentence poem, an ode to your script and the film it could become.
It must be concise yet thorough, imaginative yet simple, commercial yet unique. So whats the trick? Whats the
formula for writing a logline that accurately and compellingly conveys the essence of your script?
Sadly, there isnt one. Consider the following logline examples to understand why.
Great Loglines, No Formulas
Catherine the Great by Kristina Lauren Anderson was the highest rated script on this years Black List. The logline
reads:
Sophia Augusta takes control of her life, her marriage, and her kingdom becoming Russias most celebrated and
beloved monarch: Catherine the Great.
This logline breaks a few of the standard logline rules. Its an appropriate length and its to the point, but it doesnt
really give us a sense of whats standing in Sophias way. The conflict is only hinted at in the subtext of this logline,
which is usually a bad idea. However, because this script is about a historical figure whom weve probably all heard
of (even if were not familiar with the details of her life) Kristina can get away with being a bit vague since anyone
who reads this logline should have a basic understanding of the obstacles Sophia might have faced.
The next highest-rated script, Rockingham by Adam Morrison, breaks the rules in the same way:
A look into the mania of the OJ Simpson trial, through the eyes of Simpsons sports agent Mike Gilbert and Los
Angeles Police Department Detective Mark Fuhrman.
If youve never heard of OJ Simpson, this is a terribly vague logline, but OJ is infamous enough not to require
further explanation.
The next screenplay on the list, The Swimsuit Issue by Randall Green, isnt based on a true story so it requires more
explanation:
A nerdy high schooler, who fancies himself an amateur photographer, attempts to create a Swimsuit Issue
featuring his high school classmates in hopes of raising enough money to go to summer camp.

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This logline is a bit longer, but its still a succinct, easy to follow sentence. It includes the main character, the goal,
and the main action. The conflict isnt included specifically, but the reader can quickly assume that this kid is going
to get backlash from a few sources: his parents, fellow students, the administration, maybe even a local familyvalues group.
As you may have gathered, there isnt really a single set of rules for how to write a logline. The best logline for your
script is going to depend on your genre, your subject matter, and your personal style. That said, there are a few
rules for how not to write a logline.
How Not to Write a Logline
1. Dont overlook the main character, the conflict, or the stakes.

Ideally youll also include the villain (if you have one) and the setting. But these three elements of your script are
the most important. We need to know who were rooting for, how theyre going to get what they want, and whats
standing in their way. Dont tell us the name of your main character unless its someone real, like OJ. Instead, give
us a sense of who they are. A man is a bad description. An egotistical cinephile paints a much clearer picture.
Now, you may be looking at that logline for Rockingham and wondering what the stakes are in that script. Adam
Morrison didnt lay the stakes out explicitly, but he got the stakes into the subtext. His two main characters are
OJs sports agent and the investigating detective. One character, we can assume, wants OJ off the hook; the other
wants to see him behind bars. These two characters will be in direct conflict throughout this script hoping for
opposite outcomes. The stakes are wrapped up in the trial itself.
2. Dont use clichs.

A clich in a logline is a red flag that tells every potential script reader that youre not ready. Clichs are cheats.
Theyre a way to get around saying what you really mean. In a logline, clichs are usually a way to keep your logline
short and to the point. What they actually end up doing, however, is making your logline vague and meatless.
Say, for example, that your main character has an ax to grind with her boss. Is your character going to have a
hard talk with her boss, or is she going to try to kill him? When you use a banal clich, you end up leaving out the
pertinent details that make your story unique. Whenever you find yourself using a phrase like in hot water, a
sticky situation, girl next door, or the end of his rope, figure out what your clich is standing in for and put
some real description in its place.
Keep in mind that loglines have their own set of clichs which should be avoided, if possible. For example, starting
a logline with the word When is a bit tired. Sometimes its unavoidable, but look for ways to be original with your
word choice and sentence construction whenever possible.
3. Dont make grammatical errors or typos.

It doesnt matter how good your logline is if it has a typo in it. If you cant write one sentence without making a
mistake, no agent is going to give your screenplay a chance.
Of course, if youre putting the time and effort into your logline that it deserves, youre probably not going to
misspell anything. The much more common problem is poor or flat-out incorrect punctuation. Please, for the love
of all thats good and right, dont put an ellipses () in your logline. You think its building suspense before those
last few words, but its not. It just looks unprofessional and weird. (Trust me, Ive tried it before. Anyone who tells
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you they havent is lying.)

Commas. Commas have rules, and those rules need to be followed. Yes, there are certain situations where comma
placement is a judgment call, such as the Oxford comma. All too often, however, commas get placed erratically
throughout loglines with no apparent logic. If youre a little iffy on the rules of commas, dashes, colons, and
semicolons, refresh your knowledge with a grammar book. The Elements of Style by Strunk and White is the gold
standard.

Write, Rewrite, Get Feedback

Once you think you have a logline worthy of sending out, theres one more rule you need to follow: Dont send your
logline to anyone in the industry without having someone you trust read it. Ideally, have lots of people read it. Even
more ideally, have someone who can provide you with professional, confidential feedback read it.
Over at LA Screenwriter weve started a monthly logline competition that provides just that. For $9.90, you can
send us your loglines and well send you back detailed feedback in five days or less. If yours is one of the three
best loglines we receive each month, youll also win recognition and prizes from our sponsors. Check out the LA
Screenwriter Logline Competition website to learn more and get feedback on your best loglines.

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