Good morning dear parents, welcome to our open day.

Thank you for coming along and it

is good to be back here in Brainy Montessori again and to say to you all that I know today is an
important day, and to thank many of you who I know have been working very hard in trying to
make a difference here. First of all let me introduce myself, Im Gan Sue Ling the founder of
Brainy Montessori Jalan Ipoh. Dear parents let me explained to you all what is Montessori
education is all about. Brainy Montessori education is designed in such ways to prepare the
children to be prepared for the real world. We generally focused on a more balanced and spiritual
approach to life. We response to the call as we trained the pupils to think, create, imagine, design,
collaborate well with others and to live a balanced life. Usually our pupils get a sense of their own
ability to learn new things, master new skills, solve problems and to do things well. Children in
Montessori schools learn non-violence and conflict resolution. As we striking our best to produce
the youngs to be the best when they enter into their college with the capability to balance their
lives. Even though we did this here in Montessori, I felt deeply sad when I read news papers on
social problems involving the teenagers especially for the past few years. Recently there were
many issues had been raised regarding the social problem among the youth in Malaysia. The
social evil that are plaguing our society today could hardly be listed, they are numerous in the true
sense of the assertion. Among the prominent social problems are the escalating crime waves,
religious intolerance, disrespect for elders, laziness and lateness of duty, widespread of diseases,
ostentatious spending, abortion, pre marital pregnancy, elope refers to run away from home in
order to be married and usually without the consent or knowledge of ones parent, disciplinary
problems, psychological problems, robbery, snatch thief, drug abuse and alcohol abuse.
We should not forget that youth generation is our countrys valuable asset, they plays an
important role on our nations progress and development in future. When we looked back and
analyze on the effects of all this social problems we would have the question on the reasons that
triggered it to happen. One of the valid and basic reason would be parenting failure. Parenting is
crucial and thus it is difficult as well. Parents of today must possess a few characteristic that we
really dont find on them nowadays. Dear parents, Im sorry to say that surveys and research
findings proves that parents of today are lacking or neglecting the responsibility implementing
character with positive values abiding on moral values. The characteristics needed to be a good
parent are many, but here are several that can help form the foundation for good parenting. I

believe you all have learnt all the characteristics that Im going to share but the main question is
how far we are implementing in ourselves. Dear parents we need to be respect, a good parents is
always respectful to their child even disciplining them. This is because the children learn
respectful behaviours from their parents and caregivers, the child if we treated respectful
consistently would tend to develop a healthy self - respect and respect for others, including their
parent. We must bear in mind always that it is possible to be respectful and firm at the same time.
A good parent knows how to listen more than talk, they must enforce empathy, it is because
normally children need listening ear, a safe place to talk things out. Parent should tries to put
themselves in the childs shoes, rather than jump to a conclusion and fixes the problem on their
will. For an example the parent listens to the tune of their childs words, voice and body language
will have a better chance of hearing what the child is rally saying. Empathy listening can provide
room for open communications and help in strengthening the parent - child relationship in the long
run.
Parenting need trust, a good parent takes advantage of opportunities to allow their child to
make age - appropriate decision. By doing this we are actually instilling childs ability to do so. In
nature we are helping our kids to be more confident and learn on how to become responsible. I do
always gives opportunity for my kids to makes certain important decision on their selection of
books, shoes, bags and clothes. Often I give them some positive suggestions regarding the costs,
benefits and necessity. I always discussed openly with my family when we are on shopping, if I
mend to buy things that will be used by the whole family then I will ask my kids on their
suggestions. Through this my kids learn to analyze the suggestions and able to reason themselves
as well make up their mind in selecting the best items rationally. Another important characteristic
that we must develop is leadership. Parent always become the first role model and they learn many
things from the beginning. Leadership in parenting requires them to be firm when it necessary and
a willingness to put rules in the place. Sometimes those rules are might not readily accepted by the
child. By practise positively we may let them know on the importance of following the rules. So
by enforcing them anyhow, knowing that its our job to do the best for our children. For an
example setting rules as tidy their bedrooms, place clothes for washing in the basket, place the key
in the key holder, which in means it looks funny and boring as they repeating the same way of
rules but it help them to be more discipline, in order and responsible. It takes courage as well to

be a good parent, where the need for courage in parenting can show up in different ways, such as
taking an unpopular stand to instil values, rules and limits. At the other times we also might need
courage to let go and allow a child to make certain choices and experience the consequences of
such choices, so by doing so the child can learn and grow. The courage that I mentioned here is
not about being reckless, nor is it the absence of fear its all are about the willingness to try, and do
what needs to be done despite having fear. I would like to share an experience happened to my
elder sisters son. This boy loves to swim and every time he sees a pool he will jump in joy and
wanted to swim. In fact his mother never happen to teach nor sends him for swimming lessons.
She always refuses his request as she thinks he is very young to swim and fears he might drown in
the water. There was a day when we was nearby a pool having our lunch at the hotel in Pulau
Pinang. Suddenly we were aware that the boy wasnt at his seat, to our surprise he was in the pool
swimming. We were shocked to death watched he swimming in the water and he was swam
towards in joy and excitement. Dear parents, the next characteristics Im going to talk about is
confidence. Parent who are confident dont have all the answers, but they are confident in their
abilities to do the best they can. When we dont know the answer, we must look for it. Rather than
dwell on our own mistakes, we must willing to admit it and learn to make better decision in the
future. We also must see problems as an opportunities to learn and grow as a result we will be in a
better position to help our children to develop self - confidence too.
Gratitude is another aspect that I want to talk. Parents are less in addressing and
appreciating their childrens efforts. A grateful parent focuses on accepts the present moment they
doesnt fret about the past mistakes or worry about the future. Gratitude in parenting helps parents
become more approachable and adds a positive influence in their childs life. There two more
aspects that also important which is understanding and happiness. Understanding probably one of
the hardest characteristics to develop in parenting, but it is the most needed. Many times it can be
hard for the parents to deal with a childs misbehaviour, mostly they dont understand them. There
is always a reason on this kind of attitude. Surprisingly, my neighbours son who is reserved in
nature turned to be wild and misbehave. The parents complained and asked for my suggestions, I
did ask them to check over his attitude and behaviour at his school. To their knowledge the teacher
had tried contacted them to share about his sons polluted attitude due to peer pressure from his
mates. Through that they able to understand what was going on and where is the mistakes had

taken place. By knowing this they able anticipate and redirect their son towards a more positive
and acceptable behaviour and had avoid a lot of unnecessary anger. Understanding helps them to
spend more time with their son and they also forgive their sons for his actions. When we thinks
about happiness it is not given but its available to those who choose to make it as a part of their
everyday life. Parents who practices happiness have a greater chance of influencing their childs
perception of happiness and their attainment of it as well. Despite of having good parenting
characteristics, we must also supplements ourselves with some great parenting tips. Next I would
like to share on some of useful and successful parenting tips.
We all aware that parenting is the most important job that we will ever have in our live yet
it is also one of the most challenging. There are about ten tips that I would share with all of you
here today. First, we must celebrate the positive, refers to a sets of action on recognizing our
childrens effort. For an example if our child has just folded the laundry, celebrate that effort and
accomplishment even though it may not folded exactly the way you might have done. This will
boast the childs confidence and happiness level. We must take time to talk and really engage in
listening, in order to understand your childs feeling and needs we must encourage them to talk
openly and let them know that talking through their feelings is a healthy way of expressing
themselves. We may provide words and become their role model by sharing our own feelings. For
an example we may talk about the food, shares with them why we take more vegetables and fruits
and our feelings over the food which is high in cholesterol. We may tell them about the
consequences we may face through imbalanced food takings. Importantly, share on the feelings
and emotion together as they would pay greater attention. Parents tend to choose punishments as a
way to discipline their children. Discipline is defined as a method of teaching children life - long
responsibility and acceptable behaviours. Punishments, is a way to force children to behave a
certain way and does not allow for children to be responsible for their own behaviour. We must
make sure that the disciplinary act that we chooses for the children would teaches responsibility
and life - long learning. We also must teach our children responsibility constructively by giving
them opportunities to practice making decisions on what they could do in a given situation. For an
example instead of shouting or saying You left your plate on the table and you need to take them
to the sink and rinse them. We may educate them by telling them that the table is in a mess, what
you could do to get it cleaned up? The children may be hurt if we tell them that he or she is bad,

apart from that we could communicate with them explaining on the undesired behaviour. Through
this we may separate the child from the behaviour. We must try to make sure our children know
that we have unconditional love for them and although we may upset with their behaviour, it
would not affect our love on them.
Dear parents other important tips that I want to share on is practise to make actions speak
louder than words. Sometimes we may find that our children may has stopped listening, maybe it
is because we are giving to much of instructions and commands. They stop listening when they
feel that we are nagging or yelling. For an example if our child continues to throw the towel on the
bathroom floor rather than hang it up we may remove the towel or leave it in a heap on the floor. It
will either be gone or still damp the next time, by doing this the child will learn why it is
important to hang it up. Next we must try to educate our children through natural and logical
consequences. Lets think about what could happen in a situation if we do not interfere. For an
example the child forgets his sports shoes one day, instead of taking it to the school we let the
child suffer the consequences of not playing on that day. As a good parent we must spend quality
time with our children and leave the stress of work at workplace. It is true that we all are leading
busy lives and often neglects the needs of our children. We sometimes pretend to listen or
unintentionally ignore what our children are saying. If we dont give our children our full attention
then they will start to misbehave. For an example if the child says, Dad you never play with me,
even though you just finished playing with him. He is actually expressing his feelings over you. It
is very important to validate his feelings by saying words such as, Yes, I bet it does feel like we
havent played for a long time. Please take note that, we must give our children some input into
the decision that affects them and hold family meetings. We could ask our child for their advice
when it is appropriate to do so. By doing this the child will feel powerful and valuable. We can
give them choices and let them help us into simple daily decisions. Many families that I known
find that having regular family meeting time is helpful, it allows time for everyone in the family to
bring issues to the table and discuss them. We must be kind although firm and consistent, set a
limit with our children and when it comes time to act on it, we must follow with reasons and
firmness. Remember to not allow the children to get into a power struggle with you. For an
example, you told you child that the toys must be picked up by the time the timer goes off or the
remaining toys will be put away for a while. When the timer goes off simply pick up the

remaining toys and put them out of sight without any more nagging or extension of time. Do not
tolerate with the pleas, tears, pouting or promises, the child will learn to respect you more if she or
he learns that you mean what you say.
Over the decade the discussion on parenting had been going on and on and yet we still
encountering many problem associated with the young generation of today. As to conclude, I
would like to stress again here on the important role carried by parents by giving their children a
full attention and spending more time is vital for the growth of the child. Numerous actions and
means has been taken in order to prevent the social problem among the young generations, we
may find counselling is one of the effective way to prevent further destructions. Apart from that in
the school we Teachers and Parents Association which trying very hard to curb any unwanted
problems happened in the schools. Once again I would like to suggest parents to get ready and
enrolled their children into Brainy Montessori, as we are here to prepare your kids to face the real
world situations with our well designed systems. We use approaches as focus on key development
stages which involves ages three and five years old, the younger children were focused on honing
large muscle and language skills. Four year olds work on fine motor skills as completing everyday
activities such as cooking and arts and crafts. Older preschoolers broaden their learning experience
from trips and special events. Furthermore learning is child centered, everything is within the
reach of the child. Children here in Brainny Montessori naturally learn self discipline through the
activities designed where they have to work at a specific task.

2914 Words
Reference

Aunola, K., Stattin, H., & Nurmi, J. E. (2000). Parenting styles and adolescents achievement
strategies. Journal of Adolescence, 23, 205-222.
McIntosh, J., Burns, A., Dowd, N., & Gridley, H. (2010). Parenting after separation. Melbourne:
Australian Psychological Society.
Baumrind, D. (1978). Parental disciplinary patterns and social competence in children. Youth &
Society, 9(3), 239-251.
Belsky, J. (1984). The determinants of parenting: A process model. Child Development, 55, 8396.
Bornstein, M. H. (1995). Handbook of parenting. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Bornstein, M. H. (1995). Handbook of parenting. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Appendix

Appendix