Winslow,1

Whenitcomestotheexistenceofobjectsthathavemorphedandchanged,inpart
duetotheirperceptionthroughoutthecourseofhistory,itdoesnottakelongbeforeone
beginstoconsiderobjectsofexceedinglylong,cylindrical,androundednature.Thereader
hasbuttoconsidertheiconicallyIoniccolumnsoftheParthenon,theobelisksofancient
Egypt,orthestelesofPersiabeforerealizingthetrueextenttowhichsuchobjectshavebeen
thefocusofancient,andpresent,attention.
However,beforedelvingfurtherintothecontentofthisessay,itisnecessaryto
considerthehistoricalcontext.Whatistheimportanceofthesecylindricalforms?Whatis
theirsignificance?Howgreatistheirprevalence?Itispossibletoargue,simply,thattheyare
convenientstructuralformswhichprovidesufficientsupporttoarchitecturalconstructssuch
astemples?Returningclosertoreality,itmustbenecessarytoalsoanswerthequestionof
presentattentionthatmustbepaidtosuchobjects,livingorinhumaninnature.Justbecause
ancientanthropologicalstudysuggeststhat,forcenturiesoftimebefore,theseshapes
(hereafterreferredtoasPhallicformsduetotheirstrikingresemblancetothemalemember)
andtheirrepresentativebodilyshape(theaforementionedmaleform)havebeenreadily
worshipped,utilized,andindeedusedtorepresentpowerandthesecularsacred,doesnot
necessarilysuggestthattheyoughttocontinuetobethuslytreated.
Tobegin,letusconsidertheprevalenceofsuchphallicformsinthetruerealityof
history,andthenconsiderthephilosophicalimplicationsofthisprevalenceinthecontextof
Platosforms.Itdoesnottakeahighlyeducatedpersontorealizethehistoricalextentof
thesePhallicforms.LetusbeginfirstofallinAncientEgyptwiththeObelisks.These
monumentalshapesweretall,foursidedtowersthatroseandculminatedinapyramid.
Obeliskswereplacedoutinfrontofplacesofgreatritual,suchastemplesorplacesof
worship,beitoftheEgyptianGodsorofthePharaohhimself.Obelisks,therefore,

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representedtheinterconnectionofthedivineformwiththehumanform.Tovisitaplace
whereinaobeliskstoodwastovisittheplaceofGodonearth.Suchapowerfulassociation
foreshadowsthegreatimportanceofthePhallicformthroughouthistory.
However,whenconsideringtheObelisk,itispossibletonotethatwhereasthetrue
PhallicFormiscurvaceousandrounded,theEgyptianobeliskissharpandpointed,less
indicativeofthePhallusasitisamereactofdefiancetotheskies.Herein,then,liesthetrue
pointofinterest.DidtheEgyptiansconsidertheObeliskaphallus,ormerelyadirectional
pointer,indicating,asitwere,thesourceofitspowerviaaboldgesturetowardsthe
heavens?Regardlessoftheanswertothisquestion,itcannotbedeniedthat,likethephallic
form,theObeliskislong,hard(astheywereatypicallycreatedwithsubstancesotherthan
graniteorsandstone),andatleastreminiscentofPhalli.Interestinglyenough,theRomansfell
remarkablyinlovewiththeObelisk,resultinginthecreationofatleast400moreObelisksin
RomeitselfthanintheentiretyofEgypt.Thisisquiterelevantconsideringthehistorical
obsessiontheancientRomanEmpirehadwiththeliteralphallus.Onehasbuttovisitthe
ruinsofPompeiitoseethattheRomanswerenonovicetotheusageofthephallusasa
vehicleforpleasureandescapefromthedaytodaydrudgeries.Indeed,perhapsthisiswhat
theyconsideredittobe:apathfromtherestraintsoftheearth,suchaspain,stress,andthe
occasionalqualmsofage.Thissuggestionisfurthersupportedbytherealizationthatthe
AncientEgyptiansconsideredtheObelisktobethehomeandrepresentationofRa,the
overarchingkingoftheGodstheObelisksweretorepresenttheraysofRa,thesourceof
hispowerandhislust.TheRomans,astheywerewantonto,recognizedthis,andthrough
theirprocessofamalgamationofEgyptianreligion,tooktheObeliskanderected(nopun
intended)thousandsthroughoutthecityofRome.

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Unfortunately,withthefalloftheRomanEmpire(andthedeflationofRoman
greatness)allbutafewoftheseObelisksweredismantledintopartsandpieces.However,a
fewstillstand,mostnotablythe25metertallonethatresideswithinSaintPeterssquarein
Rome.AninterestingnotetoconsideristhefurtherspreadoftheObeliskthroughoutthe
worldinthesubsequentyears.VariouspopeserectedthesemonumentsintheVatican,but
otherwisehistoryissomewhatquietonthesilentspreadofthisparticularphallicform,butone
hasonlytovisitWashingtonDC,Paris,orIstanbultoseegreatmasterfulpointedshapes
raisedskywardindefianceofthegods,beggingforsomeonetocomedownandrubthemout
asthestiffrepresentationsofmanspowerthattheyare.
Thusly,whiletheObeliskisbutasingleexampleofthePhallicForminhistory,its
worldwideacceptanceindicates,perhaps,apursuitofsomethingfargreaterthanjustthe
memorializationofmankindspower.Toanswerthedeeperquestionofwhatthisdeeper
meaningtrulyis,wemustconsiderthephilosophyofPlatosForms,whichthusfarhavebut
beenalludedto,notofficiallydrawnouthere.
Tobeginwith,letusconsiderthequestionoriginallyaskedbyPlato:whatgivesan
objectitsidentity?Thatis,whatmakesachair,achair,orahorse,ahorse?Isitsomelistof
traitsthattheobjectcanbecomparedto,andthenviathiscomparison,aconclusionbe
made?Isittheobjectsfunctionality?Itsvisualrepresentation?Noneofthesethreeworks
exactlywellnonecanaccountforthediversitythatmightexistwithineachobjectscategory.
Toanswerthisquestion,PlatoproposedtheexistenceofwhathecalledtheForms.These
wereetherealconcepts,abstractrepresentationsoftheperfectobject.Thatistosay,forthe
conceptofchair,thereexistsaformthatperfectlyrepresentsthemostchairlikechairtoever
be.Therefore,aswecontinuethroughoutlife,whenwecomeuponanewobject,we
immediately,throughsomeunknownprocess,accesstherealmoftheseforms,and

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immediatelyareabletoseewhichFormbestmatchestheobjectbeforeus,anddrawsome
conclusionaboutthisnewandnovelobjectthatwehavenotyetotherwisecategorized.
OneaspectaboutPlatosFormswasthepursuitoftheIdealFormforeachobject.
Platoconsideredthatoneofthemostimportantaspectsoftheintellectualandphilosophical
pursuitsofmankindwastocontinuallybeseekingaftertheclosestreal
anthropomorphologicalpersonificationofeachabstract,etherealForm.Thisistosaythatas
eachandeveryoneofusliveslife,weoughttotryandexperienceasmanydifferentaspects
ofanobjectuntilwehavefeltthatwehavesinceaccomplishedtheexperience,through
averagingalltheseexperiences,thePerfectForm.Thispursuitseemstobewellreflectedin
thevarietyofthePhallicForminart,architecture,andofteninweaponry.
WhilstthisdallianceintotheconsiderationofPlatosformsandthepursuitofthe
perfectphallusisindeedworthwhile,andtopointaddressesthequestionofwhetherornotto
continueconsideringthepenisasaworthwhilepursuit,thewriteratthispointfeelsitis
necessarytopointoutthecontinuedhistoricaldegreeofprevalenceofthephallusinother
formsaforementioned.Asimpleperusalofsculpturethroughouthistorypresentsaquitevalid
argumentfromauthoritywhereinancientartistsconsideredthatthepenisshouldbeworthyof
artisticrepresentation.Consider,foramoment,Michelangelo'sDavid.Vasari,ourmost
interestingandreliablehistorianoftheRenaissanceartists,consideredMichelangelotobe
thepinnacleofartisticform,witheverytouchofhisbrushastrokeofgenius,everymarble
chipremovedbyhischiselamasterpiece.IfweconsiderVasarisopiniontobevalid,thenwe
mustalsoconcludethatVasariheldthepenisofMichelangelosDavidtobesimilarly
masterfulinitsform.Andindeed,asweseeit,whileitmightbethemostmonstrousofphalli,
itissubtleandshapely,andissomehowthecomplementarycenterofthesculpture.Onecan

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butwonderofMichelangeloconsideredDavidtobeagrowerratherthanashower,and
consideredthisexpressionofvirilitytobethemostworthwhile.
Whilethismomentaryexclusionintotheartsprovesitselfavalidrepresentationofthe
exaltationofthephallicformtothatofartisticpurity,itdoesnotnecessarilysuggestthe
universalityofthedesireforsuchformsinthemindsofyoureverydayhuman.Toconsider
andunderstandthis,wemustturntotheforefathersofpsychology,namelyFreudandJung.
Freudiswellknownasbeingobsessedwithsexasawhole,blaminganythingfromanxietyto
depressiononrepressedsexualurges,often,inhismind,directedtowardsourmothers,
fathers,orauthorityfigures.However,hissuggestionthatsexisauniversaldrivedoes
managetomeshquitewellwithJungsnotionofthecollectiveunconscious.ToJung,it
seemedstrangethatthroughouttheworldawidevarietyofideasoccurredsimultaneously.
Strangecoincidencessuchasthese,arguedJung,wereindicativeoftheexistenceofa
collectiveunconsciousaseparatehivemindthatweallareableashumanbeingstoaccess
beyondourawareness.Jungalsonotedthat,expressionsofmalenessexistedacross
cultures,almostuniversallyexpressedasphallicformsofvarioussizes.Thisconcept
suggeststhat,somewheredeepinourminds,existsthedesiretopursuePlatosperfect
Phallicformthroughavicariousexperienceofasmanyoftheseforms,livingorinanimate,as
wecaninordertosatisfyafreudianprimalneed.
Itmustbenotedthat,whenseekingafteranobject,onemustconsiderthesizeofthe
objectthatisbeingpursued.However,contrarytomodernexpectation,throughouthistory,the
mostcommonunderstandingofthephallicformwasnotthatsizedmattered,butratherwhat
thatsizerepresented.InancientRome,havinganabnormallyengorgedmemberwas
consideredbarbaricandviolenttheactofsexwithsuchanobjectwouldhaveappalledeven
themostlooseofherculeanharlots.Partofthiscomesfromtheoriginalrootsofthe,shallwe

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say,wellendowedAfricanpeoples.Thesepeoples,whenencounteredbytheRomanswere
consideredlessthanworthyofattention,madeonlyforslavery.Thus,anyassociationwith
theirphysicalattributes,asintheextendedjawlinesofGermanicfolk,hintedatunrefined
barbarism.TheancientGreeksalsoseemtohaveagreedwiththissuggestion,withmany
ancientvasesthatportraytheoriginalOlympicsintheirvirilenudityportrayingalmost
minisculepackagesofmenspeniseswrappedupwithalittlebow.Thus,whileinrecentyears
theprevalenceofpornographicmaterialhasfalselypropagatedthemyththatthemale
membermustbemassive,historyisindeedagainstthis:smallermightindeedjustbebetter.
Thus,asthephallicformisindeedworthyasawholeofconsideration,oneoughtnottoso
readilydismissthosethatareofmorediminutivesizeindeed,awomansmostsensitive
vaginalareasexistinthefirsttwotothreeinchesofherentry,wellwithinthereachesofeven
themostunfortunateofmen.
Allofthishistoricalflimflamdoesonlyonethingforme,personally,however.Itmay
perhapsonlygiveyougoodthoughtswhenconsideringhowmuchtheancientsandsomeof
thepresentsconsideredtheveryideaofthephallicformworththeirtime.Whoareweto
disagreewithanempirethatlastedlongerthananyother,whoseideaslastedfarbeyondthe
endoftheirempire?Orindeed,whoamItoarguewithMichelangelowithregardtowhatsort
ofpenisistrulyworthspendinghoursofsofttouchupon?Iambutaman,andwhatmorecan
Isaythantosuggestthat,asapartofyourcontinuedpursuitoftheperfectform,youconsider
myselftobebutahumblesteptowardstheexperienceofallthattheEgyptiansandRomans
consideredtobethepathwaytoheaven?WhatmorecanIaskthanforyoutoexperiencemy
representationofdefiancetotheGods,myrayofsunshinethatIrevereasagiftfromthe
dailydrudgery,thedriveofinstinct,thepushandpulloftheratrace.Ibowbeforeyou

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requestingthatyoudo,indeed,asmillionsofearthsinhabitantsbeforeyou,considermy
penisworthyourwhile.

Oh,andIdidindeednoticethatthisisonlysixpages.Itsabitshort.Likemypenis.

Sorryaboutthat.