Genius

QUOTATIONS ON GENIUS
Great men grow tired of contentedness.
Great men are meteors that burn so that the earth may be
lighted.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Men of genius are often dull and inert in society; as the

blazing meteor, when it descends to earth, is only a stone.
Longfellow
Every great action is extreme.
However brilliant an action may be, it should not be

accounted great when it is not the result of great purpose.
Duc de La Rochefoucauld
There are two kinds of geniuses. The characteristic of the

one is roaring, but the lightning is meagre and rarely
strikes; the other kind is characterized by reflection by
which it constrains itself or restrains the roaring. But the
lightning is all the more intense; with the speed and
sureness of lightning it hits the selected particular points -
and is fatal.
Kierkegaard
The case with most men is that they go out into life with
one or another accidental characteristic of personality of
which they say: Well, this is the way I am. I cannot do
otherwise. Then the world gets to work on them and thus
the majority of men are ground into conformity. In each
generation a small part cling to their "I cannot do
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otherwise" and lose their minds. Finally there are a very
few in each generation who in spite of all life's terrors cling
with more and more inwardness to this "I cannot do
otherwise". They are the geniuses. Their "I cannot do
otherwise" is an infinite thought, for if one were to cling
firmly to a finite thought, he would lose his mind.
Kierkegaard
Where is the lightning to lick you with its tongue? Where is

the madness with which you should be cleansed? Behold, I
show you the Superman. He is this lightning, he is this
madness.
Nietzsche (in Zarathustra)
Geniuses are like thunderstorms. They go against the wind,

terrify people, cleanse the air.
Kierkegaard
A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.
Joey Adams
Genius is born, not paid.
Oscar Wilde
Genius borrows nobly.
R.W Emerson
Great geniuses have the shortest biographies. Their cousins

can tell you nothing about them.
R.W Emerson
Talent, lying in the understanding, is often inherited;

genius, being the action of reason or imagination, rarely or
never.
Samuel T. Coleridge
Genius is not so much about new ideas as it is about clarity

of ideas. Two people can have the same idea yet it will be
genius in the one and mediocrity in the other.
Kevin Solway
It has been seen that the object of a sane upbringing is

increasingly to direct all emotion towards objects which
involve other people. Now basically the situation of being
finite is an infinitely frustrating one, which would be
expected to arouse sensations of desperation and aggression
- as indeed it may sometimes be seen to do in very young
children. I am aware that I must be careful, in using the
word aggression, to state that I do not mean aggression
directed towards people. What I mean is an impersonal
drive directed against reality - it is difficult to give
examples but it may be presumed that geniuses who are at
all worthy of the name preserve a small degree of this.
However, since all emotion must be directed towards
people, it is obvious that the only form of aggression which
a sane person can understand is aggression against people,
which is probably better described as sadism or cruelty.
Celia Green
I was a man who stood in symbolic relations to the art and

culture of my age...The gods had given me almost
everything. I had genius, a distinguished name, high social
position, brilliancy, intellectual daring; I made art a
philosophy, and philosophy an art: I altered the minds of
men and the colour of things: there was nothing I said or
did that did not make people wonder...I treated Art as the
supreme reality, and life as a mere mode of fiction: I awoke
the imagination of my century so that it created myth and
legend around me: I summed up all systems in a phrase,
and all existence in an epigram.
Oscar Wilde, in De Profundis
Genius is the ability to act rightly without precedent - the

power to do the right thing the first time.
Elbert Hubbard
The ability of someone to choose and arrange the details of

their creative field guided by a vision is a major hallmark
of a genius.
John Briggs
Philosophy becomes poetry and science imagination, in the

enthusiasm of genius.
Disraeli
Both wit and understanding are trifles without integrity.

The ignorant peasant without fault is greater than the
philosopher with many. What is genius or courage without
a heart?
Oliver Goldsmith
A man of genius is unbearable, unless he possesses at least

two things besides: gratitude and purity.
Nietzsche
Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor

both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love,
that is the soul of genius.
Wolfgang A. Mozart
The first and last thing required of genius is the love of

truth.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
The poets' scrolls will outlive the monuments of stone.

Genius survives; all else is claimed by death.
Edmund Spenser
Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of
appreciating it in others.
Mark Twain
Two sorts of writers possess genius: those who think, and

those who cause others to think.
In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected

thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated
majesty.
R.W. Emerson
Genius does what it must, and Talent does what it can.
Owen Meredith Earl of Lytton
Andy Warhol is the only genius with an IQ of 60.
Gore Vidal
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Oscar Wilde's response to an American customs

official
Genius is an infinite capacity for giving pains.
Genius learns from nature, its own nature. Talent learns

from art.
Oscar Wilde
Genius:
1. to believe your own thought. To believe that what is

true for you is ultimately true.
2. a sledgehammer.
3. the fruit of labour and thought.
4. soul.
5. the ability to put into effect what is in your mind.
6. something one can become.
Great genius takes shape by contact with another great

genius, but, less by assimilation than by friction.
Heinrich Heine
At the bidding of a Peter the Hermit millions of men hurled

themselves against the East; the words of an hallucinated
enthusiast such as Mahomet created a force capable of
triumphing over the Graeco-Roman world; an obscure
monk like Luther bathed Europe in blood. The voice of a
Galileo or a Newton will never have the least echo among
the masses. The inventors of genius hasten the march of
civilization. The fanatics and the hallucinated create
history.
Gustave Le Bon
Great minds are related to the brief span of time during

which they live as great buildings are to a little square in
which they stand: you cannot see them in all their
magnitude because you are standing too close to them.
Arthur Schopenhauer
A man of genius makes no mistakes . His Errors are the

portals of discovery.
James Joyce
There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose

idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom
delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life
had prepared for him.
Antonin Artaud, of Van Gogh
Oh! how near are genius and madness! Men imprison them
and chain them, or raise statues to them.
Denis Diderot
There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.
Aristotle
It is frequently the tragedy of the great artist, as it is of the

great scientist, that he frightens the ordinary man. If he is
more than a popular story-teller it may take humanity a
generation to absorb and grow accustomed to the new
geography with which the scientist or artist presents us.
Even then, perhaps only the more imaginative and literate
may accept him. Subconsciously the genius is feared as an
image breaker; frequently he does not accept the opinions
of the mass, or man's opinion of himself.
Loren Eiseley, in "The Mind as Nature"
Genius . . . is the capacity to see ten things where the

ordinary man sees one.
Ezra Pound
Genius not only diagnoses the situation but supplies the

answers.
Robert Graves
It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around

so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.
Gertrude Stein
The true genius is a mind of large general powers,

accidentally determined to some particular direction.
Samuel Johnson
Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man of genius does not steal, he conquers.
Dumas
The principal mark of a genius is not perfection but

originality, the opening of new frontiers
Arthur Koestler
Talent warms-up the given (as they say in cookery) and

makes it apparent; genius brings something new. But our
time lets talent pass for genius. They want to abolish the
genius, deify the genius, and let talent forge ahead.
Kierkegaard
It is through woman that ideality is born into the world and

- what were man without her! There is many a man who
has become a genius through a woman, many a one a hero,
many a one a poet, many a one even a saint; but he did not
become a genius through the woman he married, for
through her he only became a privy councillor; he did not
become a hero through the woman he married, for through
her he only became a general; he did not become a poet
through the woman he married, for through her he only
became a father; he did not become a saint through the
woman he married, for he did not marry, and would have
married but one - the one whom he did not marry; just as
the others became a genius, became a hero, became a poet
through the help of the woman they did not marry.
Kierkegaard
Women, in general, are not attracted to art at all, nor

knowledge, and not at all to genius.
Rousseau
Male conspiracy cannot explain all female failures. I am
convinced that, even without restrictions, there still would
have been no female Pascal, Milton, or Kant. Genius is not
checked by social obstacles: it will overcome.
Camille Paglia, in Sexual Personae
There are no female geniuses because there are no female

Jack-the-Rippers.
Camille Paglia
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures

and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God
leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
Ambrose Bierce
Sporadic great men come everywhere. But for a community

to get vibrating through and through with intensely active
life, many geniuses coming together and in rapid
succession are required. This is why great epochs are so
rare, - why the sudden bloom of a Greece, an early Rome, a
Renaissance, is such a mystery. Blow must follow blow so
fast that no cooling can occur in the intervals. Then the
mass of the nation glows incandescent, and may continue to
glow by pure inertia long after the originators of its internal
movement have passed away. We often hear surprise
expressed that in these high tides of human affairs not only
the people should be filled with stronger life, but that
individual geniuses should seem so exceptionally abundant.
This mystery is just about as deep as the time-honored
conundrum as to why great rivers flow by great t owns. It is
true that great public fermentations awaken and adopt many
geniuses who in more torpid times would have had no
chance to work. But over and above this there must be an
exceptional concourse of genius about a time, to make the
fermentation begin at all. The unlikeliness of the concourse
is far greater than the unlikeliness of any particular genius;
hence the rarity of these periods and the exceptional aspect
which they always wear.
William James
A genius is the man in whom you are least likely to find the
power of attending to anything insipid or distasteful in
itself. He breaks his engagements, leaves his letters
unanswered, neglects his family duties incorrigibly,
because he is powerless to turn his attention down and back
from those more interesting trains of imagery with which
his genius constantly occupies his mind.
William James
Genius always gives its best at first, prudence at last.
Lavater, J.C.
Persons of genius, and those who are most capable of art,

are always most fond of nature: as such are chiefly
sensible, that all art consists in the imitation and study of
nature.
Pope
It is not the strengths, but the durations of great sentiments

that make great men.
Nietzsche
Genius is nothing but continued attention.
Claude Adrien Helvetius
It is easy to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in

solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who,
in the midst of the crowd, keeps with perfect sweetness the
independence of solitude.
Emerson
I call that mind free which protects itself against the

usurpations of society, which does not cower to human
opinion, which feels itself accountable to a higher tribunal
than man's, which respects itself too much to be the slave
of the many or the few.
Channing
The genius differs from us men in being able to endure

isolation, his rank as a genius is proportionate to his
strength for enduring isolation, whereas we men are
constantly in need of "the others," the herd; we die, or
despair, if we are not reassured by being in the herd, of the
same opinion as the herd.,
Kierkegaard
Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the

school of genius.
Gibbon
Man as an individual is a genius. But men in the mass form

the Headless Monster, a great, brutish idiot that goes where
prodded.
Charles Chaplin
Precisely because the tyranny of opinion is such as to make

eccentricity a reproach, it is desirable, in order to break
through that tyranny, that people should be eccentric.
Eccentricity has always abounded when and where strength
of character has abounded; and the amount of eccentricity
in a society has generally been proportional to the amount
of genius, mental vigor, and moral courage it contained.
That so few dare to be eccentric marks the chief danger of
the time.
John Stuart Mill
The millions are awake enough for physical labor; but only
one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual
exertion, only one in a hundred million to a poetic or divine
life. To be awake is to be alive ... We must learn to
reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical
aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.
Thoreau
The principal mark of a genius is not perfection but

originality, the opening of new frontiers.
Arthur Koestler
Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth - more

than ruin - more even than death... Thought is subversive
and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is
merciless to privilege, established institutions, and
comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is
not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of
the world, and the chief glory of man.
He is a man of capacity who possesses considerable

intellectual riches: while he is a man of genius who finds
out a vein of new ore. Originality is the seeing nature
differently from others, and yet as it is in itself. It is not
singularity or affectation, but the discovery of new and
valuable truth. All the world do not see the whole meaning
of any object they have been looking at. Habit blinds them
to some things: shortsightedness to others. Every mind is
not a gauge and measure of truth. Nature has her surface
and her dark recesses. She is deep, obscure, and infinite. It
is only minds on whom she makes her fullest impressions
that can penetrate her shrine or unveil her Holy of Holies. It
is only those whom she has filled with her spirit that have
the boldness or the power to reveal her mysteries to others.
William Hazlitt
The moment one definitely commits oneself, then

providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream
of events issues from the decisions, raising in one's favor
all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and
material assistance which no man could have dreamed
would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream
you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in
it. Begin it now.
Goethe
Action, so to speak, is the genius of nature.
Blair
When a true genius appears in this world, you may know

him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy
against him.
Jonathan Swift
Society is a republic. When an individual endeavors to lift

himself above his fellows, he is dragged down by the mass,
either by means of ridicule or of calumny. No one shall be
more virtuous or more intellectually gifted than others.
Whoever, by the irresistable force of genius, rises above the
common herd is certain to be ostracized by society, which
will pursue him with such merciless derision and detraction
that at last he will be compelled to retreat into the solitude
of his thoughts.
Heinrich Heine
Genius is its own reward; for the best that one is, one must
necessarily be for oneself... Further, genius consists in the
working of the free intellect., and as a consequence the
productions of genius serve no useful purpose. The work of
genius may be music, philosophy, painting, or poetry; it is
nothing for use or profit. To be useless and unprofitable is
one of the characteristics of genius; it is their patent of
nobility.
Schopenhauer
Genius does not herd with genius.
OW Holmes
This is the test and triumph of originality, not to show us
what has never been, and what we may therefore very
easily never have dreamt of, but to point out to us what is
before our eyes and under our feet, though we have had no
suspicion of its existence, for want of sufficient strength of
intuition, of determined grasp of mind to seize and retain it.
William Hazlitt
The only difference between a genius and one of common

capacity is that the former anticipates and explores what the
latter accidentally hits upon; but even the man of genius
himself more frequently employs the advantages that
chance presents him; it is the lapidary who gives value to
the diamond which the peasant has dug up without
knowing its value.
Abbe Guillaume Raynal
What makes men of genius, or rather, what they make, is

not new ideas, it is that idea - possessing them - that what
has been said has still not been said enough.
Eugene Delacroix
Genius might well be defined as the ability to makes a

platitude sound as though it were an original remark.
L. B. Walton
Genius never desires what does not exist.
Kierkegaard
The great things in life are what they seem to be. And for
that reason, strange as it may sound to you, often are very
difficult to interpret (understand). Great passions are for the
great of souls. Great events can only be seen by people who
are on a level with them. We think we can have our visions
for nothing. We cannot. Even the finest and most self-
sacrificing visions have to paid for. Strangely enough, that
is what makes them fine.
Oscar Wilde
Fortunately for us, there have been traitors and there have
been heretics, blasphemers, thinkers, investigators, lovers
of liberty, men of genius who have given their lives to
better the condition of their fellow-men. It may be well
enough here to ask the question: What is greatness? A great
man adds to the sum of knowledge, extends the horizon of
thought, releases souls from the Bastille of fear, crosses
unknown and mysterious seas, gives new islands and new
continents to the domain of thought, new constellations to
the firmament of mind. A great man does not seek applause
or place; he seeks for truth; he seeks the road to happiness,
and what he ascertains he gives to others. A great man
throws pearls before swine, and the swine are sometimes
changed to men. If the great had always kept their pearls,
vast multitudes would be barbarians now. A great man is a
torch in the darkness, a beacon: in superstition's night, an
inspiration and a prophecy. Greatness is not the gift of
majorities; it cannot be thrust upon any man; men cannot
give it to another; they can give place and power, but not
greatness. The place does not make the man, nor the scepter
the king. Greatness is from within.
Robert Ingersoll
Some superior minds are unrecognized because there is no

standard by which to weigh them.
Joseph Joubert
It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can

ever be discovered by his intimates; they are so close to
him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his
proportions; they can't perceive that there is any
considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by
themselves or by others.
Mark Twain
The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms.

Very often it does not know what to do with genius.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Society expresses its sympathy for the geniuses of the past

to distract attention from the fact that it has no intention of
being sympathetic to the geniuses of the present.
Celia Green
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything

except genius.
Oscar Wilde
Every person of genius is considerably helped by being

dead.
Robert S. Lund
Genius makes its observations in short-hand; talent writes

them out at length.
Christian Nevell Bovee
Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the

simple.
C. W. Ceran
It takes immense genius to represent, simply and sincerely,

what we see in front of us.
Edmond Duranty
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Benjamin Franklin
The genius of any single man can no more equal learning,

than a private purse hold way with the exchequer.
Francis Bacon
Talent without genius isn't much, but genius without talent

is nothing whatsoever.
Paul Valery
Men of genius are the worst possible role models for men
of talent.
Murray D. Edwards
Genius, as an explosive power, beats gunpowder hollow.
Thomas Huxley
A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can

see, and hits it.
Author unknown
Real genius is nothing else but the supernatural virtue of

humility in the domain of thought.
Simone Weil
Genius is the capacity for productive reaction against one's

training.
Bernard Berenson
Genius is a promontory jutting out of the infinite.
Victor Hugo
The lamp of genius burns quicker than the lamp of life.
Johann Friedrich Von Schiller
Genius is, to be sure, not a matter of arbitrariness, but

rather of freedom, just as wit, love, and faith, which once
shall become arts and disciplines. We should demand
genius from everybody, without, however, expecting it.
Friedrich Schlegel
Could we teach taste or genius by rules, they would be no

longer taste and genius.
Joshua Reynolds
Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.
Horace
In following the strong bent of his genius, he was self

assured that he should 'create the taste by which he is to be
enjoyed.
Emerson
Mediocrity is self-inflicted. Genius is self-bestowed.
Walter Russell
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has

his original ideas closer together.
G. C. Lichtenberg
Few people think more than two or three times a year. I

have made an international reputation for myself by
thinking once or twice a week.
George Bernard Shaw
Sometimes men come by the name of genius in the same

way that certain insects come by the name of centipede -
not because they have a hundred feet, but because most
people can't count above fourteen.
G. C. Lichtenberg
When human power becomes so great and original that we

can account for it only as a kind of divine imagination, we
call it genius.
William Crashaw
So few people think. When we find one who really does,

we call him a genius.
Author Unknown
The ordinary man casts a shadow in a way we do not quite

understand. The man of genius casts light.
George Steiner
True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of

uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information.
Winston Churchill
Genius is an infinite capacity for taking life by the scruff of

the neck.
Christopher Quill
Genius is that energy which collects, combines, amplifies,

and animates.
Samuel Johnson
Improvement makes straight roads; but the crooked roads
without improvement are roads of genius.
William Blake
Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions

hitherto unexplored.
Abraham Lincoln
Art is a jealous mistress, and, if a man have a genius for

painting, poetry, music, architecture, or philosophy, he
makes a bad husband, and an ill provider, and should be
wise in season, and not fetter himself with duties which
will imbitter his days and spoil him for his proper work.
R.W. Emerson
Geniuses experience a second adolescence, whereas other

people are only young once.
Goethe
If children grew up according to early indications, we

should have nothing but geniuses.
Goethe
True genius sees with the eyes of a child and thinks with
the brain of a genii.
Puzant Thomajan
Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish

not a touch or taint.
Robert Browning
Otto Weininger on Genius
The man of genius is he who understands incomparably
more other beings than the average man. Goethe is said to
have said of himself that there was no vice or crime of
which he could not trace the tendency in himself, and that
at some period of his life he could not have understood
fully. The genius, therefore, is a more complicated, more
richly endowed, more varied man; and a man is the closer
to being a genius the more men he has in his personality,
and the more really and strongly he has these others within
him. If comprehension of those about him only flickers in
him like a poor candle, then he is unable, like the great
poet, to kindle a mighty flame in his heroes, to give
distinction and character to his creations. The ideal of an
artistic genius is to live in all men, to lose himself in all
men, to reveal himself in multitudes; and so also the aim of
the philosopher is to discover all others in himself, to fuse
them into a unit which is his own unit.
Otto Weininger
The ideal genius, who has all men within him, has also all
their preferences and all their dislikes. There is in him not
only the universality of men, but of all nature. He is the
man to whom all things tell their secrets, to whom most
happens, and whom least escapes. He understands most
things, and those most deeply, because he has the greatest
number of things to contrast and compare them with. The
genius is he who is conscious of most, and of that most
acutely. And so without doubt his sensations must be most
acute; but this must not be understood as implying, say, in
the artist the keenest power of vision, in the composer the
most acute hearing; the measure of genius is not to be taken
from the acuteness of the sense organ but from that of the
perceiving brain.
Otto Weininger
Universality is the distinguishing mark of genius. There is

no such thing as a special genius, a genius for mathematics,
or for music, or even for chess, but only a universal genius.
The genius is a man who knows everything without having
learned it.
Otto Weininger
I regret that I must so continually use the word genius, as if

that should apply only to a caste as well defined from those
below as income-tax payers are from the untaxed. The
word genius was very probably invented by a man who had
small claims on it himself; greater men would have
understood better what to be a genius really was, and
probably they would have come to see that the word could
be applied to most people. Goethe said that perhaps only a
genius is able to understand a genius. -
Otto Weininger
The reason why madness overtakes so many men of genius

- fools believe it comes from the influence of Venus, or the
spinal degeneration of neurasthenics - is that for many the
burden becomes too heavy, the task of bearing the whole
world on the shoulders, like Atlas, intolerable for the
smaller, but never for the really mighty minds. But the
higher a man mounts, the greater may be his fall; all genius
is a conquering of chaos, mystery, and darkness, and if it
degenerates and goes to pieces, the ruin is greater in
proportion to the success. The genius which runs to
madness is no longer genius; it has chosen happiness
instead of morality. All madness is the outcome of the
insupportability of suffering attached to all consciousness.
Otto Weininger
No one suffers so much as he [the genius] with the people,

and, therefore, for the people, with whom he lives. For, in a
certain sense, it is certainly only "by suffering" that a man
knows. If compassion is not itself clear, abstractly
conceivable or visibly symbolic knowledge, it is, at any
rate, the strongest impulse for the acquisition of knowledge.
It is only by suffering that the genius understands men. And
the genius suffers most because he suffers with and in each
and all; but he suffers most through his understanding. . . .
Otto Weininger
It results from their periodicity that, in men of genius,
sterile years precede productive years, these again to be
followed by sterility, the barren periods being marked by
psychological self-depreciation, by the feeling that they are
less than other men; times in which the remembrance of the
creative periods is a torment, and when they envy those
who go about undisturbed by such penalties. Just as his
moments of ecstasy are more poignant, so are the periods
of depression of a man of genius more intense than those of
other men. Every great man has such periods, of longer or
shorter duration, times in which he loses self-confidence, in
which he thinks of suicide; times in which, indeed, he may
be sowing the seeds of a future harvest, but which are
devoid of the stimulus to production; times which call forth
the blind criticisms 'How such a genius is degenerating!'
'How he has played himself out!' 'How he repeates himself!'
and so forth.
Otto Weininger
Talent is hereditary; it may be the common possession of a

whole family (eg, the Bach family); genius is not
transmitted; it is never diffused, but is strictly individual.
Otto Weininger
The age does not create the genius it requires. The genius is
not the product of his age, is not to be explained by it, and
we do him no honour if we attempt to account for him by it
. . . And as the causes of its appearance do not lie in any
one age, so also the consequences are not limited by time.
The achievements of genius live for ever, and time cannot
change them. By his works a man of genius is granted
immortality on the earth, and thus in a threefold manner he
has transcended time. His universal comprehension and
memory forbid the annihilation of his experiences with the
passing of the moment in which each occurred; his birth is
independent of his age, and his work never dies.
Otto Weininger
Genius is, in its essence, nothing but the full completion of
the idea of a man, and, therefore, every man ought to have
some quality of it, and it should be regarded as a possible
principle for every one. Genius is the highest morality, and,
therefore, it is every one's duty. Genius is to be attained by
a supreme act of the will, in which the whole universe is
affirmed in the individual. Genius is something which 'men
of genius' take upon themselves; it is the greatest exertion
and the greatest pride, the greatest misery and the greatest
ecstasy to a man. A man may become a genius if he wishes
to. But at once it will certainly be said: "Very many men
would like very much to be 'original geniuses,'" and their
wish has no effect. But if these men who "would like very
much" had a livelier sense of what is signified by their
wish, if they were aware that genius is identical with
universal responsibility - and until that is grasped it will
only be a wish and not a determination - it is highly
probable that a very large number of these men would
cease to wish to become geniuses.
Otto Weininger
The most powerful musical motifs of world-music are those

in which the representation of the breaking-through of time
within time, the breaking out of time, is attempted, in
which an ictus falls upon the tonic such that it reabsorbs the
other parts of the melody (which as a whole represents
time; separate points unified by the I) and in this manner
sublimates the melody. The end of the Grail-motif in
'Parsifal,' the Siegfried-motif, are such melodies. There is,
however, an act that, so to speak, reabsorbs the future in
itself, experiences in advance all future falling back into
immorality already as guilt, no less than all the immoral
past, and by this means grows out over and beyond both: A
timeless setting of the character, rebirth. It is the act by
which genius comes to be.
Otto Weininger
Since the soul of man is the microcosm, and great men are
those who live entirely in and through their souls, the
whole universe thus having its being in them, the female
must be described as absolutely without the quality of
genius. . . . There is no female genius, and there never has
been one . . . and there never can be one. Those who are in
favour of laxity in these matters, and are anxious to extend
and enlarge the idea of genius in order to make it possible
to include women, would simply by such action destroy the
concept of genius. . . . How could a soulless being possess
genius? The possession of genius is identical with
profundity; and if any one were to try to combine woman
and profundity as subject and predicate, he would be
contradicted on all sides. A female genius is a contradiction
in terms, for genius is simply intensified, perfectly
developed, universally conscious maleness.
Otto Weininger
Mankind occurs as male or female, as something or

nothing. Woman has no share in ontological reality, no
relation to the thing-in-itself, which, in the deepest
interpretation, is the absolute, is God. Man in his highest
form, the genius, has such a relation, and for him the
absolute is either the conception of the highest worth of
existence, in which case he is a philosopher; or it is the
wonderful fairyland of dreams, the kingdom of absolute
beauty, and then he is an artist.
Otto Weininger
In those rare individual cases where women approach

genius they also approach masculinity.
Otto Weininger
The man of genius possesses, like everything else, the

complete female in himself; but woman herself is only a
part of the Universe, and the part can never be the whole;
femaleness can never include genius. This lack of genius on
the part of woman is inevitable because woman is not a
monad, and cannot reflect the Universe.
Otto Weininger
There are probably very few people who have not at some
time of their lives had some quality of genius. If they have
not had such, it is probable that they have also been without
great sorrow or great pain. They would have needed only to
live sufficiently intently for a time for some quality to
reveal itself. The poems of first love are a case in point, and
certainly such love is a sufficient stimulus.
Otto Weininger
A nation orients itself by its own geniuses, and derives

from them its ideas of its own ideals, but the guiding star
serves also as a light to other nations. As speech has been
created by a few great men, the most extraordinary wisdom
lies concealed in it, a wisdom which reveals itself to a few
ardent explorers but which is usually overlooked by the
stupid professional philologists.
Otto Weininger
The genius is not a critic of language, but its creator, as he

is the creator of all the mental achievements which are the
material of culture and which make up the objective mind,
the spirit of the peoples. The "timeless" men are those who
make history, for history can be made only by those who
are not floating with the stream. It is only those who are
unconditioned by time who have real value, and whose
productions have an enduring force. And the events that
become forces of culture become so only because they have
an enduring value. -
Otto Weininger
It is the genius in reality and not the other who is the

creator of history, for it is only the genius who is outside
and unconditioned by history. The great man has a history,
the emperor is only a part of history. The great man
transcends time; time creates and time destroys the
emperor.
Otto Weininger
It is certainly true that most men need some kind of a God.

A few, and they are the men of genius, do not bow to an
alien law. The rest try to justify their doings and misdoings,
their thinking and existence (at least the menial side of it),
to some one else, whether it be the personal God of the
Jews, or a beloved, respected, and revered human being. It
is only in this way that they can bring their lives under the
social law. . . .
Otto Weininger
The ego of the genius accordingly is simply itself universal

comprehension, the centre of infinite space; the great man
contains the whole universe within himself; genius is the
living microcosm. He is not an intricate mosaic, a chemical
combination of an infinite number of elements; the
argument in chap. iv. as to his relation to other men and
things must not be taken in that sense; he is everything. In
him and through him all psychical manifestations cohere
and are real experiences, not an elaborate piece-work, a
whole put together from parts in the fashion of science. For
the genius the ego is the all, lives as the all; the genius sees
nature and all existences as whole; the relations of things
flash on him intuitively; he has not to build bridges of
stones between them.
Otto Weininger
The man of genius is he whose ego has acquired

consciousness. He is enabled by it to distinguish the fact
that others are different, to perceive the "ego" of other men,
even when it is not pronounced enough for them to be
conscious of it themselves. But it is only he who feels that
every other man is also an ego, a monad, an individual
centre of the universe, with specific manner of feeling and
thinking and a distinct past, he alone is in a position to
avoid making use of his neighbours as means to an end.
Otto Weininger
The history of the human race (naturally I mean the history

of its mind and not merely its wars) is readily intelligible
on the theory of the appearance of genius, and of the
imitation by the more monkey-like individuals of the
conduct of those with genius. The chief stages, no doubt,
were house- building, agriculture, and above all, speech.
Every single word has been the invention of a single man,
as, indeed, we still see, if we leave out of consideration the
merely technical terms. How else could language have
arisen? The earliest words were "onomatopoetic"; a sound
similar to the exciting cause was evolved almost without
the will of the speaker, in direct response to the sensuous
stimulation. All the other words were originally metaphors,
or comparisons, a kind of primitive poetry, for all prose has
come from poetry. Many, perhaps the majority of the
greatest geniuses, have remained unknown. Think of the
proverbs, now almost commonplaces, such as "one good
turn deserves another." These were said for the first time by
some great man. How many quotations from the classics, or
sayings of Christ, have passed into the common language,
so that we have to think twice before we can remember
who were the authors of them. Language is as little the
work of the multitude as our ballads. Every form of speech
owes much that is not acknowledged to individuals of
another language. Because of the universality of genius, the
words and phrases that he invents are useful not only to
those who use the language in which he wrote them. A
nation orients itself by its own geniuses, and derives from
them its ideas of its own ideals, but the guiding star serves
also as a light to other nations. As speech has been created
by a few great men, the most extraordinary wisdom lies
concealed in it, a wisdom which reveals itself to a few
ardent explorers but which is usually overlooked by the
stupid professional philologists.
Otto Weininger
Sepuluh Prinsip dalam Islam
Sa'id Hawwa adalah sosok ulama yang cukup vokal dalam menyuarakan kebenaran (al-
Islam). Ulama yang hidup di Mesir ini telah banyak menghasilkan tulisan-tulisan
keislaman yang sangat berkualitas dan dibutuhkan ummat. Pemikiran-pemikirannya
senantiasa merujuk pada al-Qur'an dan as-Sunnah. Namun, pemikiran-pemikirannya
tidak lepas dari kontroversi dan kritikan (protes) dari mereka yang merasa berat untuk
melaksanakan Islam secara total (kaffah) sebagaimana yang selalu 'diteriakkan' oleh
beliau.
Dalam bukunya yang berjudul "Min Ajli Khuthwatin ila al-Amam'ala Thariqi al-Jihad al-
Mubarak", Sa'id Hawwa mengungkapkan ketentuan-ketentuan dalam Islam yang bersifat
badihi (prinsipil), yaitu merupakan ketentuan yang sudah jelas nash-nya dan tidak
diragukan lagi kebenarannya. Dan semua ummat Islam wajib menerima ketentuan atau
konsepsi dalam Islam yang bersifat badihi tersebut. Menurut Sa'id Hawwa, ada sepuluh
ketentuan yang bersifat badihi (prinsipil). Berikut ini ke-sepuluh prinsip tersebut yang
diringkas dari buku "10 Aksioma tentang Islam" - terjemahan dari buku "Min Ajli
Khuthwatin ila al-Amam'ala Thariqi al-Jihad al-Mubarak".
Prinsip Pertama
Islam adalah satu-satunya sistem hidup yang dibebankan pada seluruh ummat manusia, di
barat atau di timur, di utara atau di selatan, berkulit kuning, merah, putih atau hitam.
Allah swt telah mengumumkan bahwa Dia tidak akan menerima sistem hidup (ad-Dien)
selain Islam dengan firman-Nya:
Sesungguhnya dien (sistem hidup) yang diridhai di sisi Allah ialah Islam. (Qs.Ali
Imran:19)
Barangsiapa yang mencari dien (sistem hidup) selain Islam, maka sekali-kali tidak akan
diterima (dien itu) darinya. (Qs.Ali Imran:85)
Yang dimaksud dengan Islam adalah risalah yang diturunkan Allah swt melalui Nabi
Muhammad saw. Risalah ini merupakan penutup seluruh risalah Allah swt, dan demikian
risalah atau agama yang diturunkan Allah sebelumnya melalui para Nabi-Nya yang
terdahulu tidak berlaku lagi. Karena itu seluruh manusia diwajibkan untuk memeluk
Islam sampai Hari Kiamat. Barangsiapa yang tidak mengimani Islam, sedangkan seruan
Islam telah sampai kepadanya, maka ia dianggap sebagai ahli neraka.
Demi Dzat yang jiwaku berada di tangan-Nya, tidak mendengar seseorang tentangku
dari ummat ini, apakah ia Yahudi atau Nasrani, kemudian ia tidak beriman dengan apa
yang diutus kepadaku melainkan ia akan tergolong dari ahli neraka. (HR.Muslim)
Prinsip Kedua
Islam adalah satu-satunya jawaban yang benar dan bersih terhadap semua persoalan
manusia. Ia mencakup seluruh aspek kehidupan manusia yang meliputi keyakinan,
ibadat, syari'at dan syi'ar-syi'ar. Islam merupakan neraca dan satu-satunya tolok ukur
untuk semua sisi kehidupan manusia. Dari Islamlah terefleksinya petunjuk yang benar
dan lurus serta selamat dalam segala hal.
Dan Kami turunkan kepadamu (Muhammad) Kitab (al-Qur'an) untuk menjelaskan segala
sesuatu dan petunjuk serta rahmat dan kabar gembira bagi orang-orang yang berserah
diri. (Qs.an-Nahl:89)
Al-Qur'an menerangkan segala persoalan, apakah melalui nash-nashnya atau melalui

kesimpulan-kesimpulan yang tepat tentang nash-nash tersebut berdasarkan hadits, qiyas,
ijma' ulama, istihsan, istishab, istislah, 'urf, hukum-hukum yang diakui oleh akal, syara'
atau hukum adat menurut batas-batas yang dibenarkan oleh nash tersebut.
Prinsip Ketiga
Bila seseorang masuk Islam, berarti ia telah menyerah secara mutlak kepada Allah swt
dalam semua persoalan yang mencakup semua aspek kehidupan, termasuk yang
berhubungan dengan jiwa, akal, hati, ruh, perasaan, emosi, perbuatan, pemikiran,
kepercayaan dan peribadatan. Termasuk dalam hal konstitusi dan undang-undang
kehakiman. Di samping itu Islam berarti penolakan total terhadap seluruh bentuk
penyekutuan dengan selain Allah. Allah swt berfirman:
....Barangsiapa yang ingkar kepada thaghut dan beriman kepada Allah, maka
sesungguhnya ia telah berpegang kepada buhul tali yang amat kuat yang tidak akan
putus.... (Qs.al-Baqarah:256)
Prinsip Keempat
Dalam Islam pemikiran eksperimental merupakan salah satu fenomena proses

pembentukan pribadi Muslim atau karakteristik Islam. Oleh karena itu segala sesuatu
yang telah dicapai oleh akal yang sehat dan melalui proses percobaan adalah sesuatu
yang dapat diterima dari sudut pandangan Islam dan diberi jaminan kepercayaan terhadap
kesahannya. Rasulullah pernah bersabda:
Hikmah (ilmu pengetahuan) itu merupakan hak orang Mu'min. Maka di mana saja ia
jumpai, ia lebih berhak terhadapnya.
Namun jika pemikiran-pemikiran eksperimental itu sudah tidak murni lagi, telah diwarnai
oleh sistem hidup yang tidak Islami, maka kita berkewajiban untuk membersihkannya
terlebih dahulu, dan mewarnainya dengan nilai-nilai Islam yang bersih, sebelum kita
menggunakannya.
Prinsip Kelima
Islam adalah satu sistem yang sempurna dan lengkap, karena ia mencakup seluruh sistem
politik, sosial, ekonomi dan moral. Oleh karena itu mengabaikan atau melupakan
sebagian dari sistem Islam berarti menghalangi perjalanan seluruh sistem itu sendiri.
Begitu juga menegakkan politik yang tidak berdasarkan pada pilar-pilar Islam merupakan
satu kendala dan sekaligus tantangan terhadap Islam.
Seluruh sektor kehidupan kaum Muslimin harus selalu berlandaskan pada nilai-nilai dan
syari'at Islam, ekonominya, politiknya, sosialnya, pendidikannya, militernya dan sektor-
sektor lainnya. Tidak dibenarkan melaksanakan Islam secara parsial (tentunya selama
kondisi dan kemampuan memungkinkannya).
Apakah patut kamu beriman kepada sebagian al-Kitab (Taurat) dan ingkar terhadap
sebagian yang lain? Maka tidak ada balasan bagi yang berbuat demikian dari kamu,
kecuali kenistaan dalam kehidupan dunia, dan pada Hari Kiamat mereka akan
dikembalikan kepada siksa yang amat berat. Allah tidak lengah terhadap apa yang kamu
perbuat. (Qs.al-Baqarah:85)
Barangsiapa yang tidak menghukum menurut apa yang diturunkan Allah, maka mereka
itu adalah orang-orang kafir. (Qs.al-Maidah:44)
Prinsip Keenam
Seluruh kaum Muslimin dibebani kewajiban menegakkan kalimatullah agar Islam

menjadi satu-satunya Dien yang tegak di bumi ini. Allah berfirman:
Dan Allah menjadikan seruan orang-orang kafir itu rendah dan kalimatullah itulah yang
tinggi. (Qs.at-Taubah:40)
Barangsiapa yang berperang untuk menjadikan kalimatullah yang tertinggi sekali, maka
ia berjuang di jalan Allah. (al-Hadits)
Salah satu tujuan Allah mengutus Rasul-Nya adalah agar Islam sebagai dienullah menang
terhadap dien-dien (sistem hidup) lainnya. Karena itu semua pengikut Muhammad
berkewajiban untuk mewujudkan kemenangan Islam dengan berjihad di jalan-Nya.
Dia-lah Allah yang mengutus Rasul-Nya dengan membawa petunjuk dan dien yang haq,
agar dimenangkan-Nya terhadap semua dien. Dan cukuplah Allah menjadi saksi. (Qs.al-
Fath:28)*
Orang-orang yang beriman dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta benda dan diri
mereka, adalah lebih tinggi derajatnya di sisi Allah, dan itulah orang-orang yang
mendapatkan kemenangan. (Qs.at-Taubah:20)*
Prinsip Ketujuh
Kaum Muslimin dalam satu negara, bahkan di seluruh dunia harus merupakan satu
sekutu, satu blok dan satu jama'ah. Sekutu ini adalah sekutu iman dan politik. Apa pun
bentuknya yang memisahkan dan mengesampingkan hal ini adalah satu kekufuran dan
kesesatan yang amat besar. Sekutu dan blok tersebut harus mempunyai imam tersendiri.
Kepemimpinan dan persatuan bagi ummat Islam sangat penting sekali. Para sahabat
Rasulullah saw telah mendahulukan pemilihan khalifah ketimbang mengubur jenazah
Rasulullah saw. Dalam satu kesempatan Rasulullah saw bersabda:
Tidak boleh bagi tiga orang berada di manapun di bumi ini, kecuali memilih salah satu
seorang di antara mereka itu sebagai pemimpin. (Musnad Imam Ahmad, jilid II,
hal.177)*
Mu'min dengan mu'min lainnya itu ibarat satu tubuh, jika salah satu anggota tubuhnya
ada yang sakit, maka anggota tubuh lainnya ikut merasa sakit. Demikian Rasulullah
pernah mengingatkan ummatnya.
Umar bin Khattab pernah berkata, "Tidak ada Islam tanpa jama'ah, tidak ada jama'ah
tanpa imamah, tidak ada imamah tanpa ketaatan, dan tidak ada ketaatan tanpa bai'at.
Barangsiapa yang keluar dari jama'ah maka ia telah keluar dari Islam."*
Prinsip Kedelapan
Dalam kondisi kekuasaan politik Islam dan kaum Muslimin di seluruh penjuru dunia
sedang mengalami kehancuran dan kelumpuhan seperti sekarang, maka merupakan
kewajiban bagi setiap Muslim untuk cepat-cepat melantik seorang imam yang akan
memimpin perjuangan, atau untuk mempersiapkan diri menghadapi peperangan, atau
melakukan persiapan yang matang untuk memilih seorang yang akan memimpin mereka.
Hal ini merupakan salah satu masalah yang sangat mendesak untuk segera dilaksanakan.
Dan siapkanlah untuk menghadapi mereka kekuatan apa saja yang kamu sanggupi dan
dari kuda-kuda yang ditambat untuk berperang (yang dengan persiapan itu) kamu
menggentarkan musuh-musuh Allah, musuhmu dan orang-orang selain mereka yang
kamu tidak mengetahuinya. (Qs.al-Anfaal:60)
Dalam memperjuangkan kebenaran (al-Islam) diperlukan kesungguhan, sumber daya

manusia dengan kuantitas dan kualitas yang memadai, sarana dan prasarana serta
pengorganisasian yang rapi. Sayyidina Ali ra pernah mengatakan, "Kejahatan yang
terorganisir dapat megalahkan kebenaran yang tidak terorganisir." Agar perjuangan
dapat terorganisir maka diperlukan kepemimpinan, yang manhaj kepemimpinannya
berpegang kepada al-Qur'an dan as-Sunnah.
Sesungguhnya Allah menyukai orang-orang yang berperang di jalan-Nya dalam barisan
yang teratur seakan-akan mereka seperti suatu bangunan yang tersusun kokoh. (Qs.ash-
Shaff:4)
Prinsip Kesembilan
Menyertai dan bergabung dengan jama'ah Islam dan imamnya adalah suatu kewajiban
besar di dalam Islam. Kewajiban ini secara langsung tidak memberikan peluang untuk
mengelakkan diri dari keterlibatannya dengan jama'ah dan imamnya, kecuali dalam
kondisi dimana orang-orang Islam tidak mempunyai jama'ah dan imamnya. Maka dalam
keadaan seperti itu, seorang Muslim harus memisahkan diri dari perkumpulan sesat dan
tetap berpegang kepada yang haq.
Dalam sebuah hadits yang diriwayatkan oleh Bukhari dan Muslim serta Abu Daud, dari
Hudzaifah al-Yamani, diriwayatkan sebagai berikut:
Orang-orang yang bertanya pada Rasulullah saw tentang kebaikan, tetapi saya bertanya
tentang kejahatan, sebab saya takut akan terlibat dengannya. Saya bertanya: "Wahai
Rasulullah, dahulu kita berada dalam masa Jahiliyah dan diliputi oleh suasana kejahatan,
lalu Allah mendatangkan pada kita kebaikan ini, maka apakah sesudah kebaikan itu akan
ada kejahatan?"
"Ada," jawab Rasulullah.
"Apakah sesudah kejahatan itu akan ada kebaikan?" Saya bertanya lagi.
Rasulullah menjawab, "Yaitu segolongan ummat yang mengikuti sunnah bukan
sunnahku, dan mengikuti petunjuk bukan petunjukku. Kenalilah mereka olehmu, dan
cegahlah."
Saya bertanya lagi, "Kemudian setelah kebaikan tersebut masih adakah kejahatan lagi?"
Rasulullah menjawab, "Masih, yaitu para penda'wah yang menyeru manusia ke pintu
neraka. Barangsiapa menyambut seruan mereka, niscaya mereka akan dilemparkan ke
dalam neraka."
Lalu saya bertanya kepada Rasulullah, "Apa yang harus saya lakukan jika saya
menghadapi keadaan yang demikian itu?"
Jawab Rasulullah, "Hendaklah kamu teguh pendirian dengan jama'ah Islamiah dan
imamahnya."
"Bagaimana kalau sudah tidak ada lagi jama'ah Islamiah dan imamahnya?" Saya terus
bertanya.
Rasulullah menjawab, "Tinggalkan golongan-golongan itu semua, walaupun kamu akan
menggigit sebatang pohon kayu, sampai kamu mati dalam keadaan demikian."
Persoalannya sekarang, apakah bumi yang kita diami ini telah kehilangan jama'ah dan
imamnya, sedang Rasulullah saw bersabda:
Akan selalu ada di kalangan ummatku, satu golongan yang mendukung kebenaran,
golongan yang selalu menentang dan membelakangi mereka tidak akan memberikan
kemudharatan apa-apa kepada mereka sehingga Hari Kiamat.
Imam Ali ra mengatakan, "Tidak akan sunyi bumi ini dari seorang pemimpin yang
berdiri untuk Allah dengan hujjah-hujjahnya."
Prinsip Kesepuluh
Ummat Islam, sebenarnya merupakan satu jama'ah atau satu partai, dan maju mundurnya
jama'ah ini tergantung pada pencapaian ilmu, karakteristik, dan komitmen ummat
terhadap Islam. Oleh karena itu segenap kaum Muslimin harus terikat pada rencana atau
program yang telah disusun. Dan rencana atau program yang disusun secara spontanitas
pun harus tunduk kepada kaidah-kaidah yang ketat, dan tidak boleh membelakangi ke
arah tercapainya tujuan.
Karakteristik ummat Islam dan jama'ahnya adalah sesuai dengan ayat 36-43 surat asy-
Syura. Karakteristik ummat Islam ialah beriman, bertawakkal, menjauhkan diri dari
dosa-dosa kecil maupun besar dan perbuatan keji, mengontrol diri dari marah,
menyambut seruan Allah dalam semua hal, mendirikan shalat, berinfaq di jalan Allah dan
berlaku adil sesama manusia. Sedangkan ciri-ciri khusus dari jama'ah Islamiah ialah
adanya syura dan selalu menentang kezaliman.
Penutup
Kekalahan, keterbelakangan, penindasan dan yang dialami ummat Islam sekarang ini
disebabkan adanya perselisihan dan perpecahan yang menimpa ummat Islam dewasa ini.
Perpecahan dan perselisihan ummat Islam sekarang ini persoalannya bukanlah terletak
pada perlunya pembersihan jiwa dan hati, luwes dan sikap berhati-hati di dalam gerakan,
tentang perlunya sikap berlindung, atau perlunya semangat jihad. Ia juga bukan karena
perbedaan tentang perlunya penguasaan terhadap seluruh medan perjuangan, juga bukan
karena perbedaan perlunya suasana terbuka yang menjamin keamanan da'wah Islamiah.
Dan bukan pula karena perbedaan tentang persoalan-persoalan yang dapat memberikan
pelayanan kepada orang Islam. Tetapi sumber segala perselisihan dan perpecahan di
antara kita ialah karena adanya perbedaan pandangan terhadap persoalan-persoalan dalam
Islam yang bersifat prinsipil (badihi). Sehingga banyak dari kalangan ummat Islam
sendiri yang melupakan dan mengabaikan prinsip (pokok) dalam Islam.
Thinking Man's Dictionary
Compiled and Continued by Kevin Solway
Ability: the natural equipment to accomplish some small

part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from
dead ones.
Abrupt: without ceremony.
Absence: that which makes the heart grow fonder - of

somebody else.
Absolute: independent, irresponsible.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of

denying himself a pleasure.
Abyss: the distance between truth and sanity. /
Academe: an ancient school where morality and

philosophy were taught.
Academy: a modern school where football is taught.
Academics: those employed by their peers to produce

papers and books of references to their peers. /
Accident: an inevitable occurrence due to the action of

immutable natural laws.
Accountability: the mother of caution.
Acknowledge: to confess.
Adherent: a follower who has not yet obtained all that he

expects to get.
Admiration: (1) ignorance. (2) our polite recognition of

someone else's resemblance to ourselves.
Admonition: gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe.
Adore: to venerate expectantly.
Adult: an obsolete child.
Advertising: (1) the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

(2) the art of making whole lies out of half truths.
Affectation: a woman's whole life.
Age: that period of life in which we compound for the vices

that we still cherish by reviling those that we have no
longer the enterprise to commit.
Agitators: a set of interfering, meddling people, who come

down to some perfectly contented class of the community
and sow the seeds of discontent among them. That is the
reason why agitators are so absolutely necessary.
Air: a nutritious substance supplied by bountiful

Providence for the fattening of the poor.
Alimony: (1) bounty after the mutiny. (2) the cash

surrender value of a husband. (3) a system whereby when
two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay
for it. (4) the high cost of leaving. (5) the screwing you get
for the screwing you got.
Allah: the Mohammedan Supreme Being, as distinguished

from the Christian, Jewish, and so forth.
Alliance: in international politics, the union of two thieves

who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's
pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Alone: in bad company.
Altar: the place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the
small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of
divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is
now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of
their liberty and peace by a male and female fool.
Altruism: (1) mowing your neighbour's lawn. (2) the art of

doing unselfish things for selfish reasons.
Ambition: (1) the last refuge of the failure. (2) the grand
enemy of all peace. (3) an overmastering desire to be
vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by
friends when dead.
America: the best half-educated country in the world.
Amnesty: the state's magnanimity to those offenders whom

it would be too expensive to punish.
Amusement: the happiness of those that cannot think.
Anxiety: that which provides us with something to think

about while watching television.
Ape: an animal with the effrontery to resemble man.
Apology: (1) to repeat an insult with variations. (2) the

foundation for a future offense.
Appeal: in law, to put the dice into the box for another
throw.
Applause: the echo of a platitude.
April fool: the march fool with another month added to his
folly.
Architecture: the art of how to waste space.
Ardor: the quality that distinguishes love without

knowledge.
Arrest: formally to detain one accused of unusualness.
Art: (1) lying, and the telling of beautiful untrue things. (2)
artlessness. (3) prostitution.
Art, abstract: a product of the untalented, sold by the

unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
Articulate: unaware of the foolishness of what one is

saying. /
Artist: one who doesn't see things as they are, but as he is.
Artlessness: a certain engaging quality to which women

attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring
male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid
simplicity of his young.
Atheism: (1) the vice of a few intelligent people. (2) one

point beyond the Devil.
Atheist: (1) one who has no invisible means of support. (2)

beloved of God. / (3) one who knows he was not merely
created. /
Author: one who has his head in the clouds and his feet
behind the sales counter.
Autumn: a time when the hills put out weeds.
Bait: a preparation that renders the hook more palatable.

The best kind is beauty.
Barometer: an ingenious instrument which indicates what

kind of weather we are having.
Beard: the hair that is commonly cut off by those who

justly execrate the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the
head.
Beauty: (1) the power by which a woman charms a lover

and terrifies a husband. (2) feminine of intellect. /
Bed: the place where marriages are decided.
Beggar: one who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
Belladonna: in Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly

poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the
two tongues.
Benedictines: an order of monks otherwise known as black

friars. ("Black friars in this world, fried black in the next")
Best-seller: the gilded tomb of a mediocre talent.
Bigot: a blind man with sight.
Birth: the first and direst of all disasters.
Bishop: the politician of Churches.
Blank-verse: unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most
difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind,
therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably
write any kind.
Blues: music for the prematurely aged and profoundly

unhappy. /
Bohemian: (1) a person who works to live but does not live
to work. (2) a person open to the suspicion of irregular and
immoral living. (3) a person conventionally
unconventional.
Books: (1) a screen to keep us from a knowledge of things.

(2) either dreams or swords. (3) the mind's food, not
exercise!
Boredom: (1) the desire for desires. (2) what happens when
we lose contact with the
Universe.
Boundary: in political geography, an imaginary line

between two nations separating the imaginary rights of one
from the imaginary rights of the other.
Boy: a cross between a god and a goat.
Brain: (1) an apparatus with which we think that we think.

(2) an appendage of the genital glands.
Bravery: an accident of circumstance.
Bride: a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind

her.
Businessman: (1) one who has all the air, the distraction
and restlessness and hurry of . . . a criminal. (2) one who is
too lazy to do anything noble.
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as

large and wise as a man's head.
Calamity: a more than commonly plain and unmistakable

reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own
ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to
ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Cannibal: a gastronome of the old school who preserves

the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-
pork period.
Caution: cowardice.
Cemetery: an isolated suburban spot where mourners

match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for
a wager.
Ceremony: ignorance.
Chance: Providence.
Character: what history knows of us. /
Charity: that which deals with symptoms instead of

causes.
Charm: (1) a delusion of fleeting beauty. (2) the power to

make someone else feel that both of you are wonderful.
Cheat: the girl who loves you back. /
Child: (1) love's by-product. (2) one who stands halfway

between an adult and a t.v set.
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between

the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes
from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Child prodigy: a child who knows as much when it is a

child as it does when it grows up.
Children: a great comfort in your old age - and they help

you reach it faster, too.
Chivalry: (1) the deportment of a man toward any woman

not his wife. (2) a man's inclination to defend a woman
against every man but himself.
Christ: (1) a man who was born at least 5,000 years ahead
of his time. (2) an anarchist who succeeded.
Christian: (1) one who follows the teachings of Christ
insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin. (2)
one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely
inspired book admirably suited to the needs of his neighbor.
(3) one who believes that love is worth more than
intelligence. (4) one who makes atheism more appealing. /
(5) one who is an atheist only in fair weather. /
Christianity: (1) the paganization of monotheism. (2) the

Femme Fatale of all religions. (3) the Devil's imitation of a
quality of evil he can only imagine. /
Church: (1) a place in which gentlemen who have never

been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get
there. (2) an organization that swaps off treasures in heaven
for cash down.
Circumstance: what determines all our thoughts and acts.
Circus: a place where horses, ponies and elephants are

permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
Civilization: (1) a coat of paint that washes away when the

rain falls. (2) the time when men learn to live off one
another instead of off the land.
Clairvoyant: a person, commonly a woman, who has the

power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron -
namely, that he is a blockhead.
Classics: primitive literature.
Clock: a reminder that you still have a lot of time left.
Clothes: (1) remembrances of our lost innocence. (2)

wrappings worn by men for warmth, women for spite, and
children because they have to. (3) the reflection of one's
self respect (lack of).
Cold: scissors for a miniskirt. /
Comedian: a man on the slow slide to oblivion.
Comedy: an escape, not from truth but from despair: a

narrow escape into faith.
Comfort: a state of mind produced by contemplation of a
neighbour's uneasiness.
Commendation: the tribute that we pay to achievements

that resemble, but do not equal, our own.
Commerce: the school of cheating.
Committee: a group of the unwilling, picked from the

unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Common-sense: the reason so many people can be wrong

at the same time.
Communism: the opiate of the intellectuals.
Communist: a frustrated capitalist.
Commuter: one who spends his life in riding to and from

his wife.
Compromise: (1) an ignoble truce between the duty of a

man and the terror of a coward. (2) such an adjustment of
conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction
of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is
deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
Compulsion: the eloquence of power.
Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
Conceit: worst when it is not. /
Congratulations: the civility of envy.
Conscience: (1) an inner voice that warns us somebody is

looking. (2) the voice of men in man. (3) cowardice.
Conservatism: (1) a bag with a hole in it. (2) organized

hypocrisy. (3) preserving the past for no reason whatsoever.
/ (4) preserving the best from the past without knowing
what is best. /
Conservative: (1) a statesman who is enamoured of

existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal, who wishes
to replace them with others. (2) one who is in office. (3)
one who can't see the difference between radicalism and an
idea. (4) one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
(5) men who have learned to like the new order forced
upon them by radicals.
Consolation: the knowledge that a better man is more

unfortunate than yourself.
Conspiracy: as in agreeing with everyone else to never

speak the truth, and to plead ignorance that one is doing
such. /
Consult: to seek another's approval of a course already

decided on.
Contempt: the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who

is too formidable to be opposed.
Contentment: (1) moral laziness, the epitome of depravity.

(2) the smother of invention. (3) being satisfied with what
you haven't got. (4) the best powder for women's faces.
Controversy: a battle in which spittle or ink replaces the

injurious cannonball and the inconsiderate bayonet.
Convent: a place of retirement for women who wish for

leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.
Conversation: a vocal competition in which the one who is

catching his breath is called the listener.
Coquetry: innocent cruelty.
Coronation: the ceremony of investing a sovereign with

the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be
blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual

profit without individual responsibility.
Corruption: everything we see before us today.
Courage: (1) doing what you are afraid to do. There can be
no courage unless you're afraid. (2) the art of being the only
one who knows you're scared to death. (3) a quality no one
admits he lacks totally. (4) salvation. (5) the only virtue. /
Courtesy: (1) fictitious benevolence. (2) a gift notable in
well-bred people and courtesans.
Coward: sinner.
Cowardice: (1) the surest protection against temptation. (2)

to sin by silence.
Craft: a fool's substitute for brains.
Creed: (1) an ossified metaphor. (2) the shell of a lie. (3)

the grammar of religion.
Crime: to publish a book that offers nothing absolutely

new, or which is no better than existing books - being a
backwards step. /
Criminal: someone who gets caught.
Criticism: the art of appraising others at one's own value.
Critic: a person who boasts himself hard to please because

nobody tries to please him.
Critics: people who quarrel over the meaning of books that

don't have any. /
Crowd: wherever there is . . . untruth.
Cult: a religion with no political power.
Culture: (1) reading. (2) anything that people do and

monkeys don't. (3) the icing on the cake which is the same
from place
to place - men are men and women are women.
Cunning: (1) a characteristic of animals which is called

discretion in men. (2) the faculty that distinguishes a weak
animal or person from a stong one. It brings its possessor
much mental satisfaction and great material adversity.
Curiosity: (1) hope. (2) an objectionable quality of the

female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman
is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and
insatiable passions of the masculine mind. (3) the desire to
learn something harmless - the engine of science. /
Curse: energetically to belabor with a verbal slap-stick.
Custom: a tyrant.
Cynic: (1) a man who tells you the truth about your own
motives. (2) a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as
they are, and not as they ought to be. (3) a person who
knows everything and believes nothing. (4) one who looks
down on those below him. / (5) one who went without
when God was handing out congeniality to lies. /
Cynicism: (1) a euphemism for realism. (2) intellectual

dandyism.
Damsel: a female who prepares a man for marriage.
Dance: to leap about to the sound of tittering music,

preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or
daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those
requiring the participation of the two sexes have two
characteristics in common: they are conspicuously
innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.
Daring: one of the most conspicuous qualities of a man in

security.
Dawn: the time when men of reason go to bed.
Dead: the majority.
Death: (1) the bursting of a cell. (2) to stop sinning

suddenly.
Debate: the death of discussion. /
Debauchee: one who has so earnestly pursued pleasure that

he has had the misfortune to overtake it.
Decide: to succumb to the preponderance of one set of

influences over another set.
Defenceless: unable to attack.
Degradation: one of the stages of moral and social
progress from private station to political preferment.
Delegation: an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
Deliberation: the act of examining one's bread to

determine which side it is buttered on.
Delusion: the father of a most respectable family,

comprising Enthusiasm, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity
and many other goodly sons and daughters.
Democracy: (1) a condition where people believe that

other people are as good as they are. (2) a political system
where votes substitute for brains. (3) a political system
where every man has the right to be his own oppressor. (4)
mob rule. (5) he who founds on the people founds on mud.
(6) a form of religion - the worship of jackals by jackasses.
Destiny: (1) a tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's

excuse for failure. (2) to leave the known for the unknown.
Devil: (1) compromise. (2) God when drunk.
Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the

growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This
dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
Die: to leave off dying and do the thing once for all.
Dignity: the absence of love. /
Diplomacy: (1) the art of letting someone have your way.

(2) the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Diplomat: (1) one who has learned that you can't bend a
nail by hitting it squarely on the head. (2) forever poised
between a cliche and an indiscretion. (3) one who thinks
twice before he says nothing.
Disciple: ciphers.
Discontent: comparison.
Discretion: to be indiscreet discreetly.
Disobedience: (1) the rarest and most courageous of
virtues... seldom distinguished from neglect; the laziest and
commonest of virtues. (2) the silver lining to the cloud of
servitude.
Disobey: to celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the

maturity of a command.
Dissenter: the dissenter is every human being at those

moments of his life when he resigns momentarily from the
herd and thinks for himself.
Distance: the only thing that the rich are willing for the
poor to call theirs, and keep.
Distress: a disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity

of a friend.
Divination: the art of nosing out the occult. Divination is

of as many kinds as there are fruit-bearing varieties of the
flowering dunce and the early fool.
Dog: a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to

catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. This
Divine Being in some of his smaller and silkier
incarnations, takes, in the affection of Woman, the place to
which there is no human male aspirant.
Dreamer: (1) one who can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest
of the world. (2) all men of action.
Dreams: children of an idle brain.
Dullard: a member of the reigning dynasty in letters and

life. According to the most trustworthy statistics the
number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little
short of two hundred millions, including the statisticians.
Duty: that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit,

along the line of desire.
Eccentricity: (1) originality without sense. (2) a method of

distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their
incapacity.
Economy: purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not
need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
Edible: good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to

a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man,
and a man to a worm.
Editor: one who separates the wheat from the chaff and
prints the chaff.
Education: (1) capacity for further education. (2) all the

minds of the past. (3) that which shows a person how little
other people know. (4) the inculcation of the
incomprehensible into the indifferent by the incompetent.
(5) persuasion. (6) that which has produced a vast
population able to read but unable to distinguish what is
worth reading. (7) a process which makes one rogue
cleverer than another. (8) to reverence superiority and
accept a fact though it slay him is the final test of an
educated man. (9) something that puts one almost on a
level with the commercial classes.
Egoism: (1) the very essence of the noble soul. (2) a case
of mistaken nonentity.
Egotism: that which enables a man in a rut to think he is in

the groove.
Ejection: an approved remedy for the disease of garrulity.

It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
Eloquence: the art of orally persuading fools that white is

the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making
any color appear white.
Enemy: those who have more accurate insights about you

than you do yourself.
Enemy, the: made up of human beings just like us - that's

why they can't be trusted.
Entertainment: any kind of amusement whose inroads

stop short of death by dejection.
Envy: emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.
Epigram: Any sentence spoken by anybody who is in the
public eye at the moment.
Epitaph: an inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues

acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
Equality: (1) a proposition to which, at ordinary times, no

sane person has ever given his assent. (2) the offspring of
envy and covetousness. (3) womens' right to do absolutely
whatever they want to do. /
Erudition: dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Ethnology: the science that treats of the various tribes of

Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots
and ethnologists.
Eulogy: praise of a person who has either the advantages of

wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Evangelist: a bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a

religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and
the damnation of our neighbors.
Evil: (1) whatever springs from weakness. (2) suggesting to

a forty five year old woman that she looks only twenty five.
/
Exception: a thing which takes the liberty to differ from

other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful
woman, etc.
Excess: in morals, an indulgence that enforces by

appropriate penalties the law of moderation.
Executive: an officer of the Government, whose duty it is

to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such
time as the judicial department shall be pleased to
pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
Exile: one who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is

not an ambassador.
Experience: (1) the teacher of fools. (2) the wisdom that

enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it
again. (3) what you get when you didn't get what you
wanted.
Expert: (1) one who has focused all his ignorance on to

one subject. (2) one who avoids the small errors as he
sweeps on to the grand fallacy. (3) a person who can take
something you already know and make it sound confusing.
Expostulation: one of the many methods by which fools

prefer to lose their friends.
Eye: the traitor of the heart.
Face: a book where men may read strange things.
Fact: something that ceases to exist when ignored.
Failure: the fear of failure.
Faith (religious): (1) the beast. (2) consists of believing

things because they are impossible. (3) before all and above
all, wishing God may exist. (4) belief without evidence in
what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of
things without possibility. (5) trying to believe what reason
deems untrue. /
Faith (intellectual): (1) self-reliance. (2) courageously

believing in what you know to be true. /
Fame: (1) an inscription on a grave. (2) chiefly a matter of

dying at the right time. (3) to have an insane person
imagine he is you.
Familiarity: a relation into which fools are providentially

drawn for their mutual destruction.
Famous: conspicuously miserable.
Fanatics: noncreative men of words.
Fanaticism: the fashionable creed of tomorrow, the

established religion of the day after, and trite is the
multiplication table the very next day.
Fascism: (1) capitalism in decay. (2) capitalism plus

murder.
Fashion: (1) a despot whom the wise ridicule and obey. (2)
vulgarity. (3) that phantom born of the unnatural
intercourse of woman's reflection with itself. (4) a woman's
entire life. /
Fear: the start of wisdom.
Felon: a person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in

embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate
attachment.
Female: one of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
Fib: a lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest
approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
Fiction: the good end happily, the bad unhappily - that is

what fiction means.
Fiddle: an instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a

horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be

betrayed.
Flatterer: (1) one whose throat is an open coffin. (2)

flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs. Like cats,
they lick and then scratch. (3) one who says to your face
what they wouldn't say behind your back.
Flirting: simply enjoying the company of the opposite sex

without wanting sex. /
Folly: that "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and

controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions
and adorns his life.
Fool: (1) one who is without anxiety. (2) one who lacks the
wish to personally know everything about life, death, and
the purpose of all existence./ (3) a person who pervades the
domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself
through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific,
omniform, omnipercipient, omniscient, omnipotent.
Foreign Aid: taxing poor people in rich countries for the

benefit of rich people in poor countries.
Forgetting: woman's first and greatest art.
Free speech: (1) no such thing ever existed. No such thing

now exists. (2) something that is allowed because nobody
listens.
Free will: fate. /
Friend: (1) the name for a more constant acquaintance. (2)

one who has no comprehension of the harm you are doing
him. /
Friendless: having no favors to bestow. Addicted to

utterance of truth and common sense.
Friendship: (1) loneliness relieved of the anguish of

loneliness. (2) a ship big enough to carry two in fair
weather, but only one in foul.
Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the

dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief
by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our
tears.
Future: that period of time in which our affairs prosper,

our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Gaiety: the reckless ripple over depths of despair.
Gambling: poverty of mind.
Garden: a thing of beauty and a job forever.
Genealogy: an account of one's decent from an ancestor

who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Generosity: the giving away of that which is not yours

anyway. /
Genius: (1) to believe your own thought. To believe that

what is true for you is ultimately true. (2) a sledgehammer.
/ (3) the fruit of labour and thought. (4) soul. (5) the ability
to put into effect what is in your mind. (6) something one
can become.
Gentleman: one who does not tell the naked truth in the
presence of ladies.
German: a hero born, and believes that he can hack and

hew his way through life.
Gesticulation: any movement made by a foreigner.
Ghost: the outward and visible sign of an inward fear.
Golden age: never the present age.
Golf: a good walk spoiled.
Gossip: (1) the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves

practically nothing unsaid. (2) cannibalism. (3) the opiate
of the oppressed.
Gratitude: lively expectation of benefits to come.
Grave: the place where beauty fades.
Great men: (1) meteors that burn so that the earth may be
lighted. (2) only an actor playing out his own ideal. (3)
almost always bad men. (4) insist on publishing their letters
before they die. /
Greatness: saying what is true.
Greece: from heroes to shopkeepers.
Grief: the pleasure that lasts the longest.
Guru: the most effective pick-up routine yet devised. /
Habeas Corpus: a writ by which a man may be taken out

of jail when confined for the wrong crime.
Habit: the shackle of the free.
Hair: (1) the beauty of women. (2) the bane of women.
Happiness: (1) a good stomach and an evil heart. (2)

tranquillity and occupation. (3) ignorance. (4) to be very
busy with the unimportant.
Harassment: whatever a man did before he stepped over
an imaginary line a woman drew after he stepped over it.
Harsh: truthful. /
Hatred: the most sublime force in life. To love is to

surrender; to hate is to carry on.
Heart: the place the Devil dwells in.
Hell: (1) Heaven enjoying itself. (2) a city much like

London.
Helpmate: a wife, or bitter half.
Hermit: a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust

itself.
Hero: one who is afraid to run away.
Hers: His
Highbrow: (1) a man who has found something more

interesting than a woman. (2) a person educated beyond his
intelligence. History: the record of the follies of the
majority.
Hollywood: (1) paradise with a lobotomy. (2) a town that

has to be seen to be disbelieved. (3) a place where they'll
pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for
your soul.
Honeymoon: (1) the time during which the bride believes

the bridegroom's word of honor. (2) the vacation a man
takes before beginning work under a new boss.
Honesty: honesty is the best poverty.
Hope: (1) the great falsifier of truth. (2) a mask the dying
person wears. (3) the dream of those who are awake. (4) the
fawning traitor of the mind.
Hospitality: the virtue which induces us to feed and lodge

certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
Humility: (1) an awful lot of hard work. / (2) so
calculating. / (3) man making himself a worm.
Humour: (1) laughing at what you haven't got when you

ought to have it. (2) emotional chaos remembered in
tranquility. (3) the sense of the Absurd which is despair
refusing to take itself seriously.
Husband: (1) one who, having dined, is charged with the

care of the plate. (2) a sweetheart who pushed his luck too
far.
Hydrogen: a light, colourless, odourless gas, which, if

given enough time, turns into people.
Hypochondriac: someone who enjoys bad health.
Hypocrite: one who, professing virtues that he does not

respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he
despises.
I: the first letter of the alphabet, the first word of the

language, the first thought of the mind, the first object of
affection. Its plural is said to be "We", but how there can be
more than one myself is doubtless clearer to the
grammarians than it is to the author of this incomparable
dictionary.
Idealist: one who will make any sacrifice as long as it

won't hurt business.
Idiot: a member of a large and powerful tribe whose

influence in human affairs has always been dominant and
controlling.
Idleness: the ultimate purpose of the busy.
Ignoramus: someone who doesn't know something that

you learned yesterday.
Ignorant: (1) happy and beautiful. / (2) wicked and ugly. /
Ignorance: (1) stupidity reduced to science. (2) a soft . . .

easy . . . pillow. (3) the solidified wisdom of ages. (4) not
innocence, but sin.
Imagination: (1) the one weapon in the war against reality.
(2) a warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint
ownership.
Imbecility: a kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire

affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
Immigrant: an unenlightened person who thinks one

country better than another.
Immodest: having a strong sense of one's own merit,

coupled with a feeble conception of worth in others.
Immoral: inexpedient.
Impatience: sometimes a sign that a person values their

life and is not prepared to waste it on lies and trivialities. /
Impropriety: the soul of wit.
Impulsive: following reason without a second thought. /
Impunity: wealth.
Inarticulate: (1) the state of being unconvinced that what

you are saying is worth saying. / (2) the state of being
unconvinced that the people to whom you are speaking
should hear what you have to say. / (3) thinking about what
you are saying. /
India: (1) children in a herd. / (2) happy people living in a

sewer. /
Indifferent: imperfectly sensible to distinctions among

things.
Indirect: less blatently direct. /
Indiscretion: the guilt of woman.
Individuals: what people are because everyone else is. /
Infatuation: love that is not returned. /
Ink: A villainous compound chiefly used to facilitate the

infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
Insanity: a rational adjustment to an insane world.
Intellectual: (1) one who stands firmly on both feet in mid-

air on both sides of an issue. (2) one who produces endless
quandaries for himself and others by sleight of brain.
Intimacy: a relation into which fools are providentially

drawn for their mutual destruction.
Intuition: reason in a hurry.
Inventor: a person who makes an ingenious arrangement

of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Ireland: a country full of genius, but with absolutely no

talent.
Irony: (1) an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment.

(2) gravity hidden beneath jest. /
Irreligion: the principal one of the great faiths of the

world.
Jealousy: (1) the friendship one woman has for another. (2)
concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost
only if not worth keeping. (3) one of the consequences of
love.
Job: (1) A low mean lucrative busy affair. (2) Petty,

piddling work; a piece of chance work.
Joss-sticks: small sticks burned by the Chinese in their

pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our
holy religion.
Journalism: the challenge of filling the space.
Jury: a group of twelve people of average ignorance

chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Justice: a commodity which in a more or less adulterated

condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his
allegiance, taxes and personal service.
Juvenile delinquent: a child who starts acting like his

parents.
Kin: an affliction of the blood.
Kindness: (1) loving people more than they deserve. (2) a

brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
Kiss: a word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It

is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite
or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the
manner of its performance is unknown to this
lexicographer.
Knowledge: when you know a thing, to hold that you know

it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do
not know it.
Labour: one of the processes by which A acquires the

property of B.
Lady: (1) to have nothing to do, but listlessly to go they

scarcely care where, for they cannot tell what. (2) one who
never shows her underwear unintentionally.
Land: a part of the earth's surface, considered as property.
Language: (1) the dress of thought. (2) the music with

which we charm the serpents
guarding another's treasure.
Laughter: (1) the hickup of the fool. (2) maliciousness

with a good conscience.
Lawful: compatible with the will of a judge having

jurisdiction.
Lawyer: one skilled in circumvention of the law.
Laziness: (1) the mental alertness to avoid hard work. (2)

unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
(3) there is no such thing. Everyone works hard at whatever
they want to do. /
Learning: the kind of ignorance distinguishing the

studious.
Lecture: a means of transferring information from notes of
the lecturer to the notes of the student without passing
through the minds of either.
Lecturer: one with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in

your ear and his faith in your patience.
Letters: the world's unwritten sonnets.
Liar: (1) the aim of the liar is simply to charm, to delight,

to give pleasure. He is the very basis of civilized society.
(2) Two kinds: (a) the genuine liar who knows himself to
be lying, and (b) the evil liar who lies even to himself. /
Liberty: one of Imagination's most precious possessions.
Library: (1) rows of tombstones that aren't worth reading. /

(2) proof that publishers reject the seed and publish the
chaff. / (3) a maze in which the goal is to find something
worth reading.
Lie: (1) a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an

accomplishment in a bachelor, and second nature in a
married woman. (2) a very poor substitute for the truth, but
the only one discovered to date.
Life: (1) the pursuit of the superfluous. (2) a stress

designed to keep you alive long enough to either reproduce
or grow wise, but rarely both. / (3) life to the wise is death
to the fool. / (4) a maze in which we take the wrong turning
before we have learned to walk. (5) far too important a
thing ever to talk seriously about. (6) a man puts his best
foot forward and it gets stepped on. (7) a tragedy wherein
we sit as spectators for a while and then act our part in it.
(8) that intangible quality which is added to existence when
you drink Coca-Cola.
Likeable: to be likeable one must be happy and cheerful.

To be happy and cheerful one's brain must die. /
Linen: a kind of cloth the making of which, when made of

hemp, entails a great waste of hemp.
Listening: a very dangerous thing. If one listens one may

be convinced.
Literature: (1) the art of writing something that will be
read twice. (2) only what people would say to each other if
they had the chance. (3) a monumental proof enough
against death.
Living: (1) the art of knowing how to believe lies. (2) the
process of reacting to stress.
Lock-and-key: the distinguishing device of civilization and

enlightenment.
Logic: the art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance

with the limitations and incapacities of the human
misunderstanding.
Logician: he deposits on a sheet of paper a certain

assemblage of syllables, and fancies that their meaning is
riveted by the act of deposition.
Longevity: uncommon extension of the fear of death.
Love: (1) a temporary insanity curable by marriage or by

removal of the patient from the influences under which he
incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many
other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races
living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations
breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity
from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently
to the physician than to the patient.
Luminary: one who throws light upon a subject; as an

editor by not writing about it.
Lunarian: an inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from

a Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits.
Mad: affected with a high degree of intellectual

independence.
Madman: a man who has lost everything except his reason.
Magic: an art of converting superstition into coin.
Magnet: something acted upon by magnetism.
Magnetism: something acting upon a magnet.
Magnificent: having a grandeur or splendor superior to that
to which the spectator is accustomed, as ears of an ass, to a
rabbit, or the glory of a glow-worm, to a maggot.
Maiden: a young person of the unfair sex addicted to

clewless conduct and views that madden to crime. The
genus has a wide geographical distribution, being found
wherever sought and deplored wherever found.
Majority: one man with courage makes a majority.
Male: a member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex.

The male of the human race is commonly known (to the
female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good
providers and bad providers.
Mammon: the god of the world's leading religion. His

chief temple is the holy city of New York.
Man: (1) animals used by words. Animals who live by

catchwords. (2) something that likes to do a lot of
unnecessary things. (3) principally the organ of the
accumulated smut and sneakery of 10,000 generations of
weaseling souls. (4) the only animals able to do art, and
evil. / (5) animals who strive for extinction with the tools of
emotion. / (6) anything that calls itself intelligent. / (7)
today's most sophisticated computer. / (8) an imitative
creature - of apes rather than angels. / (9) a small, infinitely
frail thing, which can be crushed in a snap by a falling
branch. / (10) a species which owes much of its genetic
inheritance to rapists, wife thieves, and sex maniacs in
general. /
Manners: a contrivance of wise men to keep fools at a

distance.
Martyr: one who moves along the line of least reluctance

to a desired death.
Masses: (1) individuals minus quality. (2) the great

identifiable majority, characterized by a feeling of general
satisfaction, and spouting the first thing that comes into its
head.
Matrimony: friendship under difficult circumstances.
Media: the plural of mediocre.
Mediocrity: excellence to the mediocre.
Memory: a beaten path in the brain.
Metaphysics: the finding of bad reasons for what we

believe on instinct.
Mercy: a virtue of the weak.
Metaphor: the greatest thing in style . . . a mark of genius,

for to make good metaphors implies an eye for
resemblances.
Middle age: (1) when every person you meet is only a

composite of other people whom you have met. (2) a time
when you'll do anything to feel better, except give up
what's hurting you. (3) later than you think and sooner than
you expect. (4) when a narrow waist and a broad mind
begin to change places.
Millennium: the period of a thousand years when the lid is

to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.
Mine: belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.
Mini Skirt: the distillation of 5000 years of female

wisdom. /
Minority: they that have achieved all that is noble in the

history of the world.
Miracle: an event described by those to whom it was told

by men who did not see it.
Mirror: the conscience of women. They never do a thing

without first consulting it.
Misdemeanor: an infraction of the law having less dignity

than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into
the best criminal society.
Misfortune: that which makes one man superior to

another.
Modesty: (1) one of the seven deadly virtues. (2)
enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.
(3) the attitude of mind that precedes the pounce. (4) with
people of only moderate ability modesty is mere honesty;
but with those who possess great talent it is hypocrisy. (5)
the beauty of women.
Money: (1) a kind of disease which those who have it don't

like to spread. (2) the measure of our distrust.
Monkey: a malicious mirror.
Monogamy: an obsolete word meaning a fidelity complex.
Moral: conforming to a local and mutable standard of

right. Having the quality of general expediency.
Morality: (1) to discover Ultimate Truth and then to share

your wisdom with everyone else. / (2) to renounce the
traditional maxims of your community without hesitation
or discussion. /
Moron: one who is content with a serene state.
Mother: (1) the name for God in the lips and hearts of little
children. (2) a woman who decorates her life with babies.
(3) the dead heart of the family, spending father's earnings
on consumer goods to enhance the environment in which
he eats, sleeps and watches television. (4) the most
automated appliance in any household.
Motherhood: women's mafia.
Motive: what people have instead of purpose. /
Mouse: an animal which strews its path with fainting

women.
Mouth: in man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the

outlet of the heart.
Multitude: a crowd; the source of political wisdom and

virtue.
Murder: to obscure the truth. /
Mystery: whatever we refuse to understand. /
Mysticism: the attempt to get rid of mystery.
Mythology: the body of a primitive people's beliefs

concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so
forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it
invents later.
Nation: a body of people who feel they are a nation.
Nationalism: a defensive movement against the crude

encroachments of civilization.
Natural: a very difficult pose to maintain.
Necessary evil: an evil we like so much that we don't want

it abolished.
Necessity: the spur of genius.
Negative: positive thinking. /
Neurotic: anybody who thinks you mean it when you ask

how he is.
News: anything that makes a woman say "For heaven's

sake!"
Newspapers: (1) a daily spiritual death. (2) a device unable

to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse
of civilization.
Newtonian: pertaining to a philosophy of the universe,

invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall
to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors
and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say
when.
Nihilist: someone who does not believe in anything. That

is, a purely literary product.
Noble: has come to mean being strong enough to stand-up

against reality. /
Nonsense: the objections that are urged against this
excellent dictionary.
Nostalgia: a longing for a place you wouldn't move back

to.
Novel: (1) a short story padded. (2) a species of

composition bearing the same relation to literature that the
panorama bears to art. (3) the only relaxation of the
intellectually unemployed. (4) what you write if you have
something to say, but don't think it's worth writing in a
readable form. /
Oath: in law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding

upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.
Oaths: the fossils of piety.
Oblivion: fame's eternal dumping ground. A place where

ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their
betters without envy.
Obscenity: untruth. /
Obsolete: no longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of

words.
Obvious: (1) that which is never seen until someone

expresses it. (2) that which is never seen less than when it
is well expressed. / (3) the most difficult question to
answer.
Occident: the part of the world lying west (or east) of the
Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful sub-
tribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are
murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call "war"
and "commerce." These, also, are the principal industries of
the Orient.
Old: offensive to the popular taste, as an old book.
Old age: (1) an emotion which comes over us at almost any

age. (2) more than ever, a time to consider whether you are
not more of a hindrance to society than a help. / (3) a
person is old when they have deserted their ideals.
Omen: a sign that something will happen if nothing
happens.
Once: enough.
Opiate: an unlocked door in the prison of Identity, leading

into the jail yard.
Opportunity: a favorable occasion for grasping a

disappointment.
Optimism: (1) fatty degeneration of intelligence. (2) the

instinct to lie. (3) an intellectual disorder, yielding to no
treatment
but death.
Optimist: (1) one who believes (a) that good arises out of
evil, and (b) that there is no evil. / (2) a proponent of the
doctrine that black is white. (3) a bridegroom who thinks he
has no bad habits.
Orator: one waving in the wind of his own eloquence.
Oratory: (1) the art of making deep noises from the chest
sound like important messages from the brain. (2) a solitary
vice performed in public. (3) a conspiracy between speech
and action to cheat the understanding.
Originality: (1) truthfulness. / (2) undetected plagiarism.

(3) the fine art of remembering what you hear but
forgetting where you heard it.
Orthodoxy: agnosticism towards deeper meaning.
Overeat: to dine.
Pacifist: a deceased pacifist.
Paedophilia: attraction to women. /
Painting: (1) a picture of paint. (2) an expression in the

veiling medium of colour.
Pantheism: the doctrine that everything is God, in

contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
Paradox: when premature insight clashes with prevailing
nonsense.
Parasite: anyone who is a hindrance to the survival of

wisdom and the human species. /
Parents: what children never think of when falling in love.
Passion: (1) not fake. (2) the winds necessary to put

everything in motion, that usually cause storms. (3)
fashion.
Past: the best prophet of the future.
Pastime: a device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise

for intellectual debility.
Patience: a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
Patron: Commonly a wretch who supports with insolence,

and is paid with flattery.
Peace: (1) a period of cheating between two periods of

fighting. (2) a short pause between wars for enemy
identification.
Pedestrian: the variable (and audible) part of the roadway

for an automobile.
Pen: a formidable weapon, but a man can kill himself with

it a great deal more easily than he can other people.
Pensioner: a kept patriot.
Perseverance: a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves

an inglorious success.
Person: an animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of

what she thinks she is as to overlook what she indubitably
ought to be.
Personality: what you are when people are around;

character is what you are when everybody goes home.
Pessimism: wisdom relative to optimism but cowardice

relative to wisdom. /
Pessimist: (1) one who has been intimately acquainted with
an optimist. (2) a man who tells the truth prematurely.
Philanthropist: a thief who enjoys tossing a penny or two

to beggars.
Philistine: one whose mind is the creature of its

environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and
sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous,
commonly clean and always solemn.
Philosopher: he who can analyze his delusions.
Philosophy: (1) much words. / (2) homesickness - the

longing to be at home everywhere.
Picture: a representation in two dimensions of something

wearisome in three.
Piety: reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His

supposed resemblance to man.
Pity: (1) remembering yourself. (2) one remove from love.
Plagiarism: (1) stealing from thieves. (2) taking something

from one man and making it worse. (3) the privilege of the
appreciative man.
Plagiarists: all the makers of dictionaries. (With the

exception of this esteemed lexicographer)
Planned Economy: where everything is included in the

plans except economy.
Platitude: (1) an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by

everyone, and (b) that is not true. (2) a thought that snores
in words that smoke. (3) the wisdom of a million fools in
the diction of a dullard. (4) all that is mortal of a departed
truth. (5) a jellyfish withering on the shore of the sea of
thought. (6) the fundamental element and special glory of
popular literature.
Platonic love: the gun you didn't know was loaded.
Pleasure: the least hateful form of dejection.
Plunder: to take the property of another without observing
the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the
wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanished
opportunity.
Pocket: the cradle of motive and the grave of conscience.

In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive,
and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive,
confessing the sins of others.
Poem: what happens when an anxiety meets a technique.
Poet: someone who is astonished by everything.
Poetry: (1) a kind of ingenious nonsense. (2) an

extravagance you hope to get away from. (3) language in
which a man explores his own amazement. (4) a pleasant
air but a barren soil. (5) Devil's wine. (6) the imaginative
expression of strong feeling, usually rhythmical.
Politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy.
Politician: (1) a statesman who approaches every question

with an open mouth. (2) an animal which can sit on a fence
and yet keep both ears to the ground.
Politics: (1) a means of livelihood affected by the more

degraded portion of our criminal classes. (2) the diversion
of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become
important in the eyes of more trivial men.
Polygamy: a house of atonement, or expiatory chapel,

fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished
from monogamy, which has but one.
Poor: the only class of people who have time to cultivate

the intellect.
Popularity: (1) to mingle with the erring throng. (2) what

one buys at the cost of self respect.
Population explosion: (1) humanity trying to immortalize

itself in the final grand achievement of extinction. / (2) one
of the consequences of love. /
Possession: the whole of the law.
Possessions: we only possess what we renounce; what we
do not renounce escapes us.
Poverty: a great wealth, provided one is also short of a

wife and family. /
Praise: when you praise someone you call yourself his

equal.
Pray: to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in

behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Prayer: the most odious of concealed narcissisms.
Preacher: a man who advises others concerning things

about which he knows nothing.
Predicament: the wage of consistency.
Pre-existence: an unnoted factor in creation.
Prejudice: a raft onto which the shipwrecked mind

clambers and paddles to safety.
Preposterous: the idea that murder is a crime.
Present, the: elastic, to embrace infinity.
Presentable: hideously appareled after the manner of the

time and place.
Press, the: a method of educating people to approach

printed matter with distrust.
Price: value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of
conscience in demanding it.
Priest: one who speaks what all fools feel. /
Principles: another thing no woman can understand. /
Printing: (1) a multiplication of mind. (2) an as yet

unrecognized contributor to overpopulation and noise
pollution. / (3) a way in which a fool can inflict mortal
wounds to innocent children on a global basis even long
after he is dead. / (4) something wise men cannot afford,
and cannot find anyone to pay for it.
Prison: a monument to neglected youth.
Professors: those who go to college and never get out.
Progress: (1) in antiquity . . . the appearance of great men;

in modern times . . . the appearance of great inventions. (2)
life means progress, and progress means suffering.
Propaganda: the diminution of the love of truth by the

falsehoods which interest dictates.
Property: (1) theft. (2) a sacred trust expressly granted by

God, the Bible, and the Recorder's Office.
Prosperity: (1) the consequence of rapidly spending the

planet's irreplaceable capital. (2) the best protector of
principle. (3) the surest breeder of insolence.
Psychiatrist: one who lets you see why you are unhappy.
Psychiatry: the art of teaching people how to stand on their

own feet while reclining on couches.
Psychoanalysis: the disease it claims to cure.
Psychology: (1) the science that tells you what you already
know in words you don't understand. (2) as unnecessary as
directions for using a poison. (3) nothing. /
Public opinion: the people's tyranny.
Public: the monkeys outside the cage.
Pun: puns are to words what wit is to ideas.
Punishment: (1) the justice that the guilty deal out to those
that are caught. (2) having wisdom forced upon you by
your own intelligence. /
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere,

may be happy.
Queen: a woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is
a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
Question: something that fools raise which wise men

answered a thousand years ago.
Rabble: the greater part of the masses, omnipotent on

condition that it do nothing.
Racism: is the snobbery of the poor.
Racist: a fraction of whose ideas about other races are true.

/
Radical: one who wants to tackle evil at the root.
Rattlesnake: Our prostrate brother.
Realism: the art of depicting nature as it is seen by toads.
Reality: what truths should take account of. /
Reason: (1) the arithmetic of the emotions. (2) the greatest

enemy that faith has.
Reconsider: to seek a justification for a decision already

made.
Recreation: a particular kind of dejection to relieve a

general fatigue.
Redemption: deliverance of sinners from the penalty of

their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom
they sinned.
Reform: (1) to reform a grown man, you must begin with

his grandmother. (2) a thing that mostly satisfies reformers
opposed to reformation.
Refusal: denial of something desired. Refusals are graded

in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute,
the refusal conditional, the refusal tentative and the refusal
feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal
assentive.
Recognition: what one desires from people who are more
concerned with what they are doing than with what you
have done. /
Reformer: (1) a man who rides through a sewer in a glass-

bottomed boat. (2) one who educates the people to
appreciate the things they need.
Regret: the beginning of a new life.
Religion: (1) hope and fear, explaining to Ignorance the

nature of the unknowable. (2) something that is upheld
because it is good enough for children. (3) that which
women and children should be protected from. / (4) a
speculative hypothesis with no supporting evidence that
reason proves invalid. / (5) the art of having faith in God
without knowing what God is, or even if He is possible. /
(6) a consciously accepted system of make-believe. (7) a
monumental chapter in the history of human egotism. (8)
the best armour in the world, but the worst cloak. (9) ritual
and the truth of dogma. (10) a set of things which the
average man thinks he believes and wishes he were certain.
(11) the fashionable substitute for belief. (12) induced
insanity. (13) the opiate of the masses.
Reporter: a writer who guesses his way to the truth and

dispels it with a tempest of words.
Reputation: what you seem to be like.
Resident: unable to leave.
Respectable: rich. Decent means poor.
Respectability: The offspring of a liaison between a bald

head and a bank account.
Responsibility: (1) the way of doing the right thing - and

of shortening life. (2) a detachable burden easily shifted to
the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's
neighbor.
Revenge: biting a dog because the dog bit you.
Revolution: a successful effort to get rid of a bad

government and set up a worse.
Riches: (1) the savings of many in the hands of one. (2) the
reward of toil and virtue.
Rite: a religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law,

precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity
carefully squeezed out of it.
Ritual, religious: the most effective form of thought

prevention ever developed. /
River: an aspect of Nature which lies behind the cottages

and billboards.
Road: a strip of land along which one may pass from

where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.
Robber: a candid man of affairs.
Romance: a self-induced state of hallucination that leaves

one finally unromantic.
Rostrum: in Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship.

In American, a place from which a candidate for office
energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the
rabble.
Rubbish: worthless matter, such as the religions,

philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes
infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.
Ruin: to destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in

the virtue of maids.
Ruins: our monuments.
Sabbath: a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that

God made the world in six days and was arrested on the
seventh.
Safety: never to feel secure.
Sanity: a cozy lie.
Satire: an obsolete kind of literary composition in which

the vices and follies of the author's enemies were
expounded with imperfect tenderness. Satire requires wit,
so it has been largely replaced by humour, which is tolerant
and sympathetic.
Satirist: (1) a being with an eye in the back of his head

who fills up with straw and sawdust all illusions. (2) a man
who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then
says them about other people.
Savage: (1) the most conservative of human beings. (2)

those who are content to be what they are.
Scriptures: the sacred books of our holy religion, as

distinguished from the false and profane writings on which
all other faiths are based.
Seducer: a man whom women have trained to please

women - man made mirror. /
Seduction: for men, being in the right place at the right

time; for women, beauty. /
Self-esteem: an erroneous appraisement.
Selfishness: (1) devoid of consideration for the selfishness

of others. (2) seeking your own good at the world's cost. (3)
the only real atheism.
Self-sacrifice: the effect of prudence on rascality.
Semantics: the art of telling someone they agree with you

when they don't. /
Seminar: a place where you can learn in two hours what it

takes a professor three months to teach.
Sentimentality: sentiment that rubs you up the wrong way.
Sex: the castration of man. /
Sexism: maintaining that the sexes are equal. /
Sexual Revolution: conquest of the last frontier, involving

the efficient management and manipulation of reproductive
organs for the purpose of establishing the New Puritanism.
Shyness: egotism out of its depth.
Silence: (1) having nothing to say and saying it. (2) the
door of consent.
Silk: a material which enables women to go naked in

clothes.
Sin: ignorance.
Sincerity: what a woman likes in a man, as opposed to

honesty. /
Skepticism: unbelief in cause and effect.
Sleep: an eight-hour peep show of infantile erotica.
Society: a cage for idiots.
Sociologist: a scientist who blames crime on everything

and everyone, except the person who commits it.
Soft: untrue. /
Song: that which is not worth saying is sung.
Sophistication: the ability to yawn without opening your

mouth.
Sorcery: the ancient prototype and forerunner of political

influence.
Sorrow: the future tense of love.
Soul: nothing apart from the senses.
Speech: the small change of silence.
Spiritual: (1) anything enjoyable that is not easily or

comfortably explained. / (2) golf. /
Spring: spring has come when you can put your foot on
three daisies at once.
Statistics: figures used as arguments.
Style: (1) the man himself. (2) a noble manner in an easy

manner. (3) the physiognomy of the mind, and a safer index
to character than the face. (4) the best style is truth. (5)
knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving
a damn.
Suburbia: (1) the projection of dormitory life into

adulthood. (2) where the developer bulldozes out the trees,
then
names the streets after them.
Success: (1) consuming more irreplaceable resources than

others. / (2) having something to offer that morons regard
as valuable. / (3) earning more money than your wife can
spend, or, for women, finding such a man. (4) go with the
crowd.
Suicide: what every gentleman promises to do if he breaks

his vow to his beloved.
Superior man: an uneasy obligation.
Superstition: (1) a premature explanation that overstays its

time. (2) the belief that all stage kisses give no satisfaction
to the actor or actresses.
Suspicion: a coward's virtue.
Sweater: a garment worn by a child when its mother feels

chilly.
Tabloids: fast reading for the slow thinking.
Tact: (1) tongue in check. (2) the ability to describe others

as they see themselves. (3) the art of not saying what
everyone else is thinking. (4) to lie about others as you
would have them lie about you.
Take: to acquire, frequently by force but preferably by

stealth.
Talk: to commit an indiscretion without temptation, from

an impulse without purpose.
Teacher: (1) the vanity of teaching often tempts a man to

forget he is a blockhead. (2) one who in his youth, admired
teachers. (3) one whose mission it should be not to make
his pupils think, but to make them think right. (4) one who
frees his students from extreme modernity.
Telephone: an invention of the devil which abrogates some

of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his
distance.
Telescope: a device having a relation to the eye similar to

that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to
plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is
unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
Theology: (1) obsolete psychology. (2) the intent of which

is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner. (3) an
effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth
knowing . . . it is not only opposed to the scientific spirit; it
is opposed to every other form of rational thinking.
Theosophy: an ancient faith having all the certitude of

religion and all the mystery of science.
Thinker: a person who aims where your head ought to be.
Thinking: often only a flash between two long nights, but

this flash is everything.
Thoughts: what you are today, what you will be tomorrow.
Time: (1) the press-agent of genius. (2) the most valuable

thing a person can spend.
Today: yesterday's effect and tomorrow's cause.
Tolerance: indifference.
Tradition: (1) the democracy of the dead. (2) that part of

history which has proven to be of
value for the present age.
Tragedy: (1) that there should one man die ignorant who
had the capacity for knowledge. (2) the utter impossibility
of changing what you have done.
Translation: (1) commentary that is sometimes better than

the source. / (2) the safest translation is word-for-word.
Travel: (1) too often, instead of broadening the mind it
only lengthens the conversation. (2) a fools paradise. A
childish delight in being somewhere else. (3) a traveller
must have the back of an ass to bear all, a tongue like the
tail of a dog to flatter all, the mouth of a hog to eat what is
set before him, and the ear of a merchant to hear all and say
nothing. (4) life in a brothel.
Treaty: an agreement which ceases to be when the parties

come into conflict.
Trial: a formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon

record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and
jurors.
Trouble: mistaking love for beauty, success for brains, and

television for civilization. /
True love: an old-fashioned sentiment.
Truth: (1) the object of philosophy, but not of

philosophers. (2) stranger than fiction but not as popular.
(3) what keeps honest men poor. (4) what is true is
possible. (5) a flower in whose neighbourhood others must
wither. (6) often the refuge of those too cowardly to lie. /
(7) truth should not be spoken, but communicated. / (8)
realized by faith, once it has been arrived at by reason. / (9)
an ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
T.V: (1) chewing gum for the eyes. (2) automated day-
dreaming. (3) the glass teat. (4) the plug-in drug. (5) the
crystal bucket. (6) remote control death. (7) democracy at
its ugliest. (8) the bland leading the bland. (9) that which
enables you to be entertained in your living room by people
you wouldn't have in your home.
Ugliness: a gift of the gods to certain women, entailing

virtue without humility.
Unconscious, the: a realm of potential hell.
Universe: anonymous.
University: a place where pebbles are polished and

diamonds are dimmed.
Useless: remembering how many days there are in a year. /
Vacation: two weeks when you learn where to stay away

from next year.
Vagabond: when rich, is called a tourist.
Verse: a special illness of the ear.
Vice: a creature of such hideous mien that the more you see
it, the better you like it.
Virtue: (1) a quality which has never been as respectable as

money. (2) insufficient temptation. (3) an inexpensive vice.
(4) revenge
Vituperation: satire, as understood by dunces and all such

as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
Vulgarity: concealment of truth, or affectation.
War: (1) the only sport that has any intelligible use. (2) a
by-product of the arts of peace.
Wealth: (1) any income that is at least one hundred dollars

more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's
husband. (2) difficult to dignify. /
Whole: that which has a beginning, a middle and an end.
Wise: a reputation that is built by agreeing with everybody.
Wit: (1) the epitaph of an emotion. (2) a form of sex

display; a flexing of the superior muscles. / (3) the only
weapon with which it is possible to stab oneself in one's
own back. (4) the terse intrusion into an atmosphere of
serene mental habit of some uncompromising truth. (5) so
shining a quality that everybody admires it; most people
aim at it, all people fear it, and few love it except in
themselves. (6) cultured insolence. (7) the salt with which
the humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it
out.
Witticism: a sharp and clever remark; what the Philistine is

pleased to call a "joke".
Woman: (1) an animal usually living in the vicinity of
Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to
domestication. (2) a temple built upon a sewer. (3) a
promise that cannot be kept.
Women: the maintenance class.
Women's rights: men's duties.
Wonder: the effect of novelty on ignorance.
Word: a word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged;

it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in
colour and content according to the circumstances and time
in which it is used.
Words: (1) things to kill time until our emotions make us

inarticulate. (2) the most powerful drug used by mankind.
Work: (1) two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at

or near the earth's surface relative to other such matter;
second, telling other people to do so. The first kind is
unpleasant and ill paid; the second is pleasant and highly
paid. (2) what you do so that some time you won't have to
do it any more. (3) only one kind: discovering the truth
about life and death and then living in accordance with it . .
. all else is folly. /
World: the prophecy of worlds to come.
Writing: (1) giving the reader the most knowledge in the

least time. (2) the art of putting black words on white paper
in succession until the impression is created that something
has been said. (3) the hardest way of earning a living, with
the possible exception of wrestling alligators. (4) a real
writer is someone who has something genuinely important
to say to others, and not merely to himself. /
X: in the algebra of psychology "x" stands for Woman's

mind.
Xerox: A trademark for a photocopying device that can

make rapid reproductions of human error, perfectly.
Yawn: a pertinent remark.
Yesterday: the tomorrow that got away.
Youth: life as yet untouched by tragedy.
Zoo: (1) a place which prevents people from getting at the

animals. (2) an excellent place to study the habits of human
beings.
Wit for Wisdom

Compiled and Continued by Kevin Solway
- Contents -
Foreword
This book is a compilation of words that I like, used in whichever way I
see fit to convey my message. This is what books are for, or at least should
be. I have chosen not to attribute the quotes to their supposed creators.
Who knows who created them? And who cares! In any case, I do not
claim to have created them myself, be they ever so deeply embedded in
my heart. Even my own productions I submit with the knowledge that they
can't be mine.
To benefit from this book you must accept what you read as it stands,
irregardless of the context in which the words were first used, and by
whom. Imagine I wrote the lot - or perhaps God.
If you are interested in finding out more about my writings I would be

glad to hear from you. I would also be glad to hear from any publishers
who would like to make this work more convenient to read by printing and
binding it for me.
Introduction
Wit is rarely conducive to wisdom. It is more often a power-play and a
fortification. Wit marries ideas lying wide apart, by a sudden jerk of the
understanding. Like a bright blast of lightning, it flashes, strikes and
vanishes in an instant. But only if this flash ignites a fire will there be any
lasting good. For such a fire there must be fuel, the fuel of courage, open-
mindedness, and yearning for truth. And if there is no fuel, well then, the
lightning flash of wit may still fell the odd tree or two, which will, in time,
feed a killer fire.
Wit is all too often used in the same way that forest fire-fighters use fire
- to prevent or stop a larger blaze. Small truths eat-up the fuel and form a
barrier against larger and more dangerous truths. Wit becomes an attempt
to beat the Devil, in this case the truth, at his own game.
If you would use reason in such a cowardly fashion then I would ask
you to return this book to the shelf, where it might await more kindly eyes.
But if you have the hunger of a giant and the heart of a lion, then read on
my friend - not only will you become human, but then a god, and perhaps,
a saint? For not only must there be intelligence, but courage also - an
inhuman courage that seeks to walk alone, with none other than the sun
and the moon for company. May wit sustain you till you find your walking
legs, cutting the ground from under you.
I have not designed this collection of writings for the use of public
speakers, businessmen, public figures, lecturers, authors, clergymen,
teachers and students. Quotes are not to be quoted. I work only for
thinkers!
A Final Word
There are two sides to my nature, the human and the superhuman, or the
animal and the human, depending on how critical a stance I want to take.
The contents of this book issue from my lower self, which aspires to finish
itself, and are aimed at your lower self, with the aim of inflicting a mortal
injury.
I would like to have related some profound spiritual insights with you,
but I cannot speak to your higher spiritual self when you have none.
Realistically, while there is ego one must work with ego, and only when
the ego becomes utterly disgusted with itself can it die.
I hope this book has disgusted you.
PERBALAHAN MALAIKAT RAHMAT DAN MALAIKAT AZAB
Pada zaman dulu, ada seorang lelaki yang telah membunuh 99 orang. Dia
ingin menjumpai pendita untuk meminta fatwa supaya dia dapat bertaubat
dari dosanya. Sebaik saja berjumpa, dia pun menerangkan bahawa dia telah
membunuh 99 orang dan bertanya sama ada dia masih ada peluang untuk
bertaubat. Pendita dengan tegas mengatakan dia tidak boleh bertaubat
kerana dosanya terlalu banyak. Lelaki itu mejadi marah dan terus membunuh
pendita itu, menjadikannya mangsa yang ke-100.
Dia masih ingin untuk bertaubat dan terus mencari kalau-kalau ada ulama
yang boleh membantunya. Akhirnya dia berjumpa dengan seorang ulama. Dia
menceritakan bahawa dia telah membunuh 100 orang dan bertanya sama ada
Allah masih menerima taubatnya. Ulama itu menerangkan dia masih ada
harapan untuk bertaubat. Seterusnya dia menyuruh lelaki itu pergi ke sebuah
negeri di mana terdapat sekumpulan abid (orang beribadat). Apabila sampai
di sana nanti, ulama itu menyuruhnya tinggal di sana dan beribadat bersama
mereka. Ulama itu melarangnya pulang ke negeri asalnya yang penuh dengan
maksiat.
Lelaki itu mengucapkan terima kasih lalu terus menghala ke negeri yang
diterangkan oleh ulama tadi. Sebaik saja sampai separuh perjalanan, dia
jatuh sakit lalu meninggal dunia.
Ketika itu terjadilah perbalahan antara dua malaikat, iaitu Malaikat Rahmat
dan Malaikat Azab. Malaikat Rahmat ingin mengambil roh lelaki itu kerana
pada pendapatnya dia adalah orang baik lantaran azamnya untuk bertaubat
sementara Malaikat Azab mengatakan dia mati dalam su'ul-khatimah kerana
dia telah membunuh 100 orang dan masih belum membuat sebarang
kebajikan. Mereka saling berebutan dan tidak dapat memutuskan keadaan
lelaki itu.
Allah kemudian menghantar seorang malaikat lain berupa manusia untuk

mengadili perbalahan mereka berdua. Dia menyuruh malaikat itu mengukur
jarak tempat kejadian itu dengan kedua-dua tempat; adakah tempat kejadian
itu lebih dekat dengan tempat kebajikan yang hendak dituju atau lebih dekat
dengan tempat dia mula bertolak. Sekiranya jaraknya lebih dekat dengan
tempat kebajikan, dia kepunyaan Malaikat Rahmat. Setelah diukur, didapati
jarak ke negeri kebajikan melebihi kadar sejengkal saja. Lalu roh lelaki itu
terus diambil oleh Malaikat Rahmat. Lelaki itu akhirnya mendapat
pengampunan Allah.
MORAL & IKTIBAR
Allah Maha Pengampun Lagi Maha Mengasihani
Orang yang berbuat dosa hendaklah diiringi dengan penyesalan dan taubat.
Jangan merasa putus asa dari rahmat Allah meskipun telah melakukan dosa
yang sangat banyak kerana rahmat Allah sangat luas dan lebih besar
daripada dosa besar yang kita lakukan.
Menjalankan amar makruf dan nahi mungkar hendaklah dengan hikmah dan
bijaksana.
Fatwa yang salah dan tidak berlandaskan hukum sebenar hanya
menyusahkan diri sendiri
Pelepasan dari azab diperolehi hanya dengan berlebihnya timbangan
kebajikan meskipun dengar kadar yang sedikit.
Orang yang hendak bertaubat mesti buktikan penyesalan dengan tindak-ikut
yang sewajarnya.
Orang yang bertaubat dengan sungguh-sungguh penyesalan dan berikrar
tidak mengulangi kejahatannya akan diterima oleh Allah taubatnya.
Mereka yang diterima oleh Allah akan taubatnya seolah-olah tidak
mempunyai sebarang dosa.
Mereka yang sempat bertaubat 'nasuha' sebelum roh sampai ke khalqum
dimasukkan ke dalam syurga
Topik 2 - Erti Sambutan Valentine Day (Hari Kekasih)
NABI Muhammad s.a.w. merupakan Rasulullah yang bertanggungjawab menyebar Islam

kepada umatnya setelah melalui pelbagai keperitan dan kejerihan. Paderi St. Valentino
pula merupakan seorang paderi utama yang hidup pada zaman pemerintahan Ratu
Isabella dan merupakan antara orang terpenting yang menjatuhkan dan menzalimi umat
Islam Cordova, Sepanyol pada zaman lampau.
Rasulullah lahir pada 12 Rabiulawal manakala tarikh kejayaan St. Valentino dan konco-
konconya menawan Cordova daripada umat Islam ialah pada 14 Februari. Tetapi apa
yang peliknya terutama di kalangan umat Islam sendiri, tarikh 14 Februari lebih senang
untuk diingati berbanding 12 Rabiul Awal itu sendiri.
Setiap tahun 14 Februari diingati sebagai Hari Kekasih yang di kalangan sesetengah umat
Islam amat rugi jika dilupakan. Hari ini ia sekali disambut lagi dengan pelbagai acara
yang dianggap oleh pasangan kekasih paling istimewa. Ada yang saling bertukar-tukar
bunga ros, mengadakan acara makan malam dengan disinari cahaya lilin, bertukar-tukar
perasaan di taman-taman bunga dan sebagainya. Ada pula yang berpendapat, Hari
Mengingati Kekasih juga adalah untuk mengingati orang lain yang dikasihi selain
kekasih seperti ibu bapa dan sebagainya.
Misalnya, di Sarawak tahun lalu, media-media tempatannya juga tidak terkecuali. Tanpa
mengira sama ada sidang pengarangnya terdiri daripada umat Islam atau tidak, ada media
yang mengucapkan Selamat Hari Valentine, menganjurkan Pertandingan Hari Valentine
malah ada juga media Melayu tempatan yang menganggap Hari Valentine sebagai
legenda pada tajuk salah satu rencananya. Malah ada juga media elektronik yang
mewujudkan satu program hiburan sempena Hari Valentine.
Siapakah sebenarnya orang yang bernama Valentine ini sehingga diangkat begitu agung
sekali dan di kalangan umat Islam sendiri popularitinya melebihi Rasulullah.
Pensyarah Perbandingan Agama, Akademi Islam, Universiti Malaya, Khadijah Mohd.

Hambali berkata, Valentine atau nama sebenarnya St. Valentino merupakan seorang
paderi paling berpengaruh di zaman pemerintahan Ratu Isabella dari Sepanyol.
Kedudukannya dikatakan di tempat kedua selepas Pope. Kaitannya dengan Hari
Valentine yang disambut oleh masyarakat dunia hari ini termasuk di kalangan umat Islam
sendiri mempunyai dua versi.
Versi pertama ialah dia merupakan orang terpenting Ratu Isabella yang berperanan
menumpaskan kerajaan Islam Cordova, Sepanyol. Jasanya itu dianggap oleh Ratu
Isabella sebagai amat bermakna sehingga Valentino dianggap kekasih rakyatnya sendiri.
Justeru itu 14 Februari ditetapkan sebagai cuti umum di samping hari untuk merayakan
kemenangan tersebut setiap tahun sekaligus mengenangnya sebagai mengingati St.
Valentino sebagai rakyat Cordova. Sehingga ke hari ini, peristiwa kemenangan St.
Valentino tersebut terus diingati dan rakyat Cordova mengingatinya semula dengan
melakon semula kejayaan tentera Ratu Cordova Isabella itu.
Menurut versi kedua pula, St. Valentino sebelum kejayaan itu dikatakan mempunyai dua
orang kekasih. Kekasih pertama dikatakan beragama Islam manakala yang kedua
beragama Kristian berfahaman Protestan. Oleh kerana lain agama, St. Valentino terpaksa
melupakan kekasih pertama dan menumpukan perhatian kepada kekasih kedua. Apabila
ditanya Ratu Isabella apakah bentuk ganjaran yang boleh dikurniakan berikutan
kejayaannya mengalahkan umat Islam, St. Valentino terus menyatakan yang dia ingin
berkahwin dengan kekasih keduanya itu. Ini terus menimbulkan kegemparan di kalangan
rakyat Cordova sendiri kerana Valentino merupakan paderi Katolik yang tidak boleh
berkahwin dengan pengamal Protestan sementelahan lagi paderi sememangnya tidak
boleh berkahwin. Ratu Isabella pula dikatakan murka dengan hasrat St. Valentino lantas
memenjara sementara paderinya itu. Begitupun, baginda tetap mahu cuba mengingati jasa
paderinya itu dengan menetapkan 14 Februari sebagai Hari Mengingati Kekasih yang
diuntukkan khas untuk St. Valentino sendiri.
Berdasarkan kedua-dua versi itu, apakah asas yang kukuh sehingga umat Islam sendiri
menganggap Hari Valentine itu begitu istimewa lebih-lebih lagi pada bulan Syawal yang
mulia ini. Atau pun, mereka hanya mengikut budaya Barat secara membuta tuli
sedangkan tidak mengetahui siapakah sebenarnya St. Valentino itu. Jika pun ingin
mengingati kekasih atau orang-orang yang disayangi yang lain, tidak semestinya ia
disambut pada setiap 14 Februari. Sambutan boleh juga dijalankan pada setiap kali
tibanya hari kelahiran orang-orang yang disayangi melalui acara-acara yang lebih diredai
seperti berkenduri doa selamat atau sebagainya. Bukankah Rasulullah sepatutnya lebih
diingati setiap tahun kerana bagindalah manusia yang paling mencintai umatnya.
Topik 3 - Grand Design Yahudi di beberapa Negara Islam?
Izinkan saya untuk menulis satu artikel yang sedang hangat diperkatakan dan sedang kita
sama-sama saksikan betapa Yahudi telah melancarkan GRAND DESIGN secara tanpa
disedari oleh umat Islam.
GRAND DESIGN untuk melemahkan umat Islam sememangnya telah wujud sejak
agama Islam diisytiharkan sebagai satu-satunya agama yang SAH di sisi Allah. Lebih
kurang empat belas abad yang lalu, Rasulullah menghadapi GRAND DESIGN dari dua
penjuru, iaitu dari kelompok Quraisy(musyrik) dan dari kelompok munafikin(Yahudi).
Kelompok pertama dipelopori oleh Abu Lahab manakala kelompok kedua oleh Abdullah
bin Ubay.
Rasulullah bersabda yang bermaksud, Dari Abu Hurairah, Rasulullah S.A.W.

bersabda,"Tidak akan tiba hari kiamat hingga kaum Muslimin berperang melawan kaum
Yahudi, sehinggalah bersembunyi orang Yahudi di belakang batu dan pokok. Maka
pokok dan batu itu berkata: Hai Muslim, di sini ada orang Yahudi, bunuhlah dia, kecuali
pokok GHORQOD kerana ia pokok Yahud". (Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim).
APA KATA TOKOH ISLAM DAN ULAMA tentang Yahudi
1. Syed Qutb di dalam tafsir FIZILALIL QURAN menghukum HARAM

mengadakan apa-apa rundingan dengan Yahudi.
2. Imam Abu Hasan Asyari berfatwa menyifatkan Yahudi sebagai musuh sepanjang
zaman.
3. Imam Abu Hanifah diriwayatkan tidak mahu berkata-kata dengan orang Yahudi.
KEJAHATAN-KEJAHATAN YAHUDI
1. William G. Carr, bekas perisik rahsia Inggeris mendedahkan dalam

kenyataannya:"Bahawa setiap huru-hara yang mewarnai sejarah di setiap negara,
pastilah Yahudi berada di belakangnya."
2. Majalah Tempo (No. 11 Th. XXI, 5 Mac 1989) melapurkan beberapa diplomat
Yahudi datang ke Jakarta setiap tahun khusus untuk mengamati kehidupan umat
Islam di negara yang jumlah umat Islam terbesar di dunia itu.
3. Majalah Warta NU (Ogos 1994), keluaran organisasi Islam terbesar di Indonesia,
melapurkan adanya MAFIA Yahudi yang bergerak secara aktif di Asia Tenggara,
terutama di Malaysia, Indonesia, Myanmar, Brunei, Thailand dan Filipina, yang
cuba menasihati pemerintah di negara-negara berkenaan supaya tidak memberi
ruang kepada-kepada gerakkan Islam yang boleh menggugat budaya tempatan.
Mereka melebelkan gerakan ini sebagai Fundamentalis ataupun istilah mereka
sekarang SESAT.
Majalah ini juga menyiarkan adanya GRAND DESIGN yang bergerak di Asia Tenggara
yang telah menasihati pemerintah di negara-negara sebelah sini supaya mengharamkan
sebuah badan Jemaah Islam yang berpengaruh (ARQAM) atas alasan membawa ajaran
sesat dan boleh mengancam keselamatan negara.
ADAKAH EKSIS GRAND DESIGN ITU?
Untuk mengetahui cuba lihat dokumen rahsia mereka ke atas umat Islam. Dokumen
rahsia Zionis telah diterbitkan pada 1902 dalam bahasa Rusia oleh Prof. Sergyei Nilus.
yang berjodol "Protokolat Zionisme".
Buku inilah yang menjadi inspirasi bagi Hitler untuk membantai Yahudi. Bagi Yahudi,
peristiwa pembantaian itu merupakan bencana paling besar yang semakin mendorong
mereka untuk mewujudkan Israel Raya.
Antara kandungan mesej Yahudi dalam buku itu ialah;
Protokolat Zionis No. 1.
"Kejahatan adalah satu-satunya cara yang paling menarik mencapai suatu

tujuan. Oleh itu kita tidak perlu ragu sedikit pun menggunakan cara-cara
ini kerana ia membantu proses terwujudnya cita-cita kita".
Protokolat Zionis No. XVII
"Kita telah berjuang dengan gigih menghancurkan kehormatan ahli-ahli

agama dari golongan umami (non Yahudi). Dengan itu kita berjaya
mengacaukan misi mereka yang akan menghalang tujuan kita, dengan
mematikan ulama=92 dari sehari ke sehari. Ahli-ahli agama kita pojokkan
sehingga kehilangan kharisma. Maka pengaruh mereka tidak lagi
diperhatikan. Ajaran mereka akan nampak kontradiksi dengan adat..."
4 STRATEGI DI BUMI UMAT ISLAM
Seorang pakar Yahudi, Dr. Heigel, menggariskan 4 strategi di bumi umat Islam iaitu:
1. Hapuskan identiti Islam mereka

2. Jangan beri peluang kepada mereka untuk menghormati ulama,
3. Sogok mereka dengan budaya-budaya baru.
4. Beri mereka kebebasan.
Keempat -empat startegi itu nampaknya sedang berjalan pantas di bumi umat Islam.
Ambil contoh kes Arqam. Pertubuhan Islam yang cuba mempertahankan identiti Budaya
Islam, samada dari segi pakaian, ekonomi, pendidikan dan perubatan telah dihentam
badai"pengharaman". Tindakkan yang agresif ke atas pengikut-pengikutnya telah
dilakukan seolah-olah Arqam merupakan HANTU KUBUR yang paling menakutkan di
abad ini.
Untuk membunuh pertubuhan ini mestilah dengan melemahkan kedudukannya di tempat
asal kelahirannya, termasuk menghancurkan ekonominya. Oleh itu kita tidak boleh
menafikan adanya GRAND DESIGN di sebalik pengharaman Jemaah Islam itu.
Musnahnya identiti Islam di beberapa negara Islam menyebabkan hilangnya harga diri
dan kebesaran mereka. Tidak ada lagi yang berani menyuarakan:"Ini pakaian Islam","Ini
budaya Islam","Ini ekonomi Islam". Maka di kebanyakan negara Islam, mereka telah
MELEMPARKAN BUDAYA ISLAM dan SERONOK dengan BUDAYA
BARAT.Implikasi selanjutnya adalah lemahnya semangat jihad di kalangan umat Islam.
Akhirnya lihatlah, begitu mudah umat Islam dijajah, mulut mereka dipaku, fikiran
mereka disuapi dengan doktrin-doktrin palsu. Umat Islam sentiasa menjadi mangsa,
berpindah randah dari mulut harimau ke mulut buaya. Bukankah IA MERUPAKAN
SATU GRAND DESIGN?
Umat Islam seakan-akan diharamkan memiliki kekuatan politik Islam, kerana ia

merupakan ancaman ke atas masa depan Yahudi. Di mana-mana saja ada gerakan Islam,
mereka akan berlegar-legar memuntahkan peluru beracunnya untuk menyapu bersih
hingga ke akar umbinya.
APA JADI DENGAN NEGARA KITA ?
Negara Malaysia, tanah air tercinta tidak terlepas menjadi sasaran Yahudi. Bermula
dengan lawatan Tengku Abdullah disambut ketibaannya di Tel Aviv oleh Yitzhak Rabin
pada Jun 1994. Selepas itu berlegar isu Dr. Mahathir satu hotel dengan Yitzhak Rabin di
sebuah negara Eropah. Manakala pertapakan Yahudi di negara ini semakin kukuh kerana
adanya RESTU dari pemerintah sehingga memberi keselesaan bagi kelompok Yahudi
untuk melakukan GRAND DESIGN yang lebih besar lagi.
Apakah kejohanan antarabangsa kriket yang membenarkan Israel menyertainya di negara

kita sebagai TURNING POINT untuk membesarkan lagi grand design itu dengan alasan
kononnya" ianya dapat mempengaruhi pemikiran mereka mengenai rejim Israel yang
menekan serta menindas orand-orang Palestin?".
....SAMA-SAMALAH KITA RENUNGKAN...
SEKIAN, Moga ada menafaatnya.......Wallahu alam.......................
Disusun oleh :
Ibnu Othman
Jalan Hayton, Aberdeen
Bahan-bahan rujukan;
1. Tafsir Al Quran oleh Syed Qutb - FIZILALIL QURAN

2. Sahih Al Bukhari
3. Majalah DUNIA ISLAM, bil. 52, Okt. 1994
4. Majalah TEMPO (Mac 1989)
5. Majalah WARTA NU (Ogos 1994)
6. 91Dokumen Protokolat Zionisme=92 1902
7. UTUSAN MALAYSIA (24 Mac, 1997)
Topik 4 - Menolak As-Sunah/Al-Hadith
Alhadis/Assunah adalah sesuatu yang datang dari Rasulullah saw sama ada perkataan,
perbuatan, persetujuan atau sifatnya. Banyak firman Allah yang menyuruh kita taatkan
Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Taat pada Rasulullah bererti wajib bagi kita menerima pengajaran
Rasul dan hukum yang ditentukan dan dilarang kita mengingkarinya. Terdapat juga
banyak ayat Al-Quran yang menerangkan bahawa Rasulullah telah diberi tugas untuk
menjelaskan apa yang tidak nyata dari perintah-perintah Allah di dalam Al-Quran,
antaranya adalah Firman Allah yang bermaksud,
"Hai orang-orang yang beriman! Taatlah kepada Allah dan taatlah kepada Rasul, dan orang
yang memegang kekuasan dari kalangan kamu..."
(An-Nisa: 59)
"Dan siapa yang taat kepada Rasul itu (Muhammad), maka sesungguh-nya dia telah taat
kepada ALLAH dan siapa yang berpaling maka Kami tidak mengutus engkau (Muhammad)
untuk menjadi penjaga mereka."
(An-Nisa: 80)
"Apa yang diberikan oleh Rasul kepada kamu hendaklah kamu terima, dan apa yang dilarang
hendaklah kamu hentikan."
(Al-Hasyr: 7)
"Sebab itu, hendaklah mereka yang melanggar perintah Rasul itu berjaga-jaga bahawa mereka
akan ditimpa fitnah atau ditimpa azab yang sangat pedih."
(An-Nur: 63)
"Dan Kami turunkan kepada engkau (Muhammad) pengajaran (Quran) supayaengkau

jelaskan/terangkan kepada manusia apa yang telah diturunkan kepada mereka"
(An-Nahl: 44)
"Maka tidak! Demi Tuhan engkau, mereka tidak beriman sehingga merekamenjadikan engkau
(Muhammad) hakim pada perkara-perkara yang merekaperselisihkan. Kemudian mereka tidak
mndapati di dalam diri mereka sebarang keberatan untuk menerima apa yang telah engkau
putuskan dan mereka patuhi dengan sepenuhnya."
(An-Nisa: 65)
Ayat-ayat Al-Quran tadi adalah jelas menyuruh kita patuh kepada Nabi Muhammad saw.
Caranya ialah dengan menurut Sunnahnya. Walaupun apa juga Hadis yang kurang sahih,
yang ditekankan di sini ialah mengikuti Sunnah Rasul. Sesungguhnya Rasul itu tidak
bercakap atau bertindak sesuka hatinya tanpa ilham dari Allah swt.
Ulama-ulama Islam tidak pernah berselisih dalam menerima Assunah sebagai sumber
hukum syarak selepas Al-Quran. Orang yang menolak Assunah ertinya menolak Al-
Quran itu sendiri, kerana ia tidak percaya kepada sebahagian daripada Al-Quran. Ulama
Islam telah sepakat tentang hukumnya iaitu orang yang berbuat demikian adalah bukan
dari golongan orang Islam. Mereka adalah orang kafir.
Topik 7 - Soal Jawab Iblis (Alaihi laknat) dengan Rasulullah S.A.W.
Allah swt telah memerintahkan seorang Malaikat berjumpa Iblis supaya dia berjumpa
dengan Rasulullah saw untuk memberitahu segala rahsianya; samada yang disukai
mahupun yang dibencinya. Hikmatnya ialah untuk meninggikan darjat Nabi Muhammad
saw dan juga sebagai peringatan dan perisai kepada umat manusia.
Maka Malaikat itu pun berjumpa Iblis dan berkata, "Hai Iblis! Bahawa Allah Yang Maha
Mulia dan Maha Besar menyuruh engkau menghadap ke hadrat Rasullullah saw.
Hendaklah engkau buka segala rahsia engkau dan apa-apa yang disoal oleh Rasulullah
hendaklah engkau jawab dengan sebenar-benarnya. Jikalau engkau berdusta walau satu
perkataan pun, nescaya akan diputuskan segala suku-suku anggota badanmu, uratmu serta
disiksa dengan azab yang amat keras"
Demi mendengar sahaja kata Malaikat yang dahsyat itu, Iblis sangat ketakutan. Maka
segeralah dia menghadap Rasulullah saw dengan menyamar sebagai seorang tua yang
buta sebelah matanya dan berjanggut putih 10 helai; panjangnya seperti ekor lembu. Iblis
pun memberi salam, sehingga 3 kali tidak juga dijawab oleh Rasulullah saw. Maka
sembah Iblis(alaihi laknat),"Ya Rasulullah! Mengapa tuan hamba tidak mejawab salam
hamba? Bukankah salam itu sangat mulia di sisi Allah?"
Maka jawab Nabi dengah marah "Hai Aduwullah seteru Allah! Kepada aku engkau
menunjuk baikmu? Jangan engkau cuba hendak tipu aku sebagimana engkau tipu Nabi
Adam a.s sehingga keluar dari syurga Habil mati teraniaya dibunuh Qabil dengan sebab
hasutan engkau, Nabi Ayub engkau tiup dengan asap racun ketika dia sedang sujud
sembahyang hingga dia sengsara beberapa lama, kisah Nabi Daud dengan perempuan
Urya, Nabi Sulaiman meninggalkan kerajaannya kerana engkau menyamar sebagai
isterinya dan begitu juga beberapa Anbiya dan pendita yang telah menanggung sengsara
akibat hasutan engkau. Hai Iblis! Sebenarnya salam itu sangat mulia di sisi Allah azza
wajalla, cuma salam engkau saja aku tidak hendak menjawabnya kerana diharamkan
Allah. Maka aku kenal baik-baik engkaulah Iblis, raja segala iblis, syaitan dan jin yang
menyamar diri. Apa kehendak engkau datang berjumpa aku?"
Sembah Iblis,"Ya Nabi Allah! Janganlah tuan hamba marah. Kerana tuan adalah
Khatamul Anbiya maka tuan dapat kenal akan hamba. Kedatangan hamba adalah disuruh
Allah untuk memberitahu segala tipu daya hamba terhadap umat tuan dari zaman Nabi
Adam hingga akhir zaman. Ya Nabi Allah! Setiap apa yang tuan tanya hamba sedia
menerangkan satu persatu dengan sebenarnya, tiadalah hamba berani sembunyikan."
Maka Iblis pun bersumpah menyebut nama Allah dan berkata "Ya Rasulullah! Sekiranya
hamba berdusta barang sepatah pun nescaya hancur leburlah badan hamba menjadi abu"
Apabila mendengar sumpah Iblis itu, Nabi pun tersenyum dan berkata dalam hatinya,
inilah satu peluang aku untuk menyiasat segala perbuatannya agar didengar oleh sekelian
sahabat yang ada di majlis ini dan menjadi perisai kepada sekelian umatku.
Soalan Nabi (1) - "Hai Iblis! Siapakah sebesar-besar musuh engkau dan bagaimana
aku terhadap engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Ya Nabi Allah! Tuanlah musuh hamba yang paling besar di antara segala
musuh hamba di muka bumi ini" Maka Nabi pun memandang muka Iblis, dan Iblis pun
mengeletar kerana ketakutan. Sambung Iblis,"Ya Khatamul Anbiya! Adapun hamba
dapat merupakan diri hamba seperti sekelian manusia, binatang dan lain-lain hingga rupa
dan suara pun tidak salah sepertinya, kecuali diri tuan sahaja yang tidak dapat hamba tiru
kerana ditegah oleh Allah. Kiranya hamba menyerupai diri tuan, maka terbakarlah diri
hamba menjadi abu. Hamba cabutkan iktikad anak Adam supaya menjadi kafir kerana
tuan berusaha memberi nasihat dan pengajaran supaya mereka kuat untuk memeluk
agama Islam; begitu jugalah hamba berusaha menarik mereka kepada kafir, murtad atau
munafik. Hamba akan tarik sekelian umat Islam dari jalan benar kepada jalan yang salah
supaya masuk ke dalam neraka dan kekal di dalamnya bersama hamba"
Soalan Nabi ke 2 - "Hai Iblis! Betapa perbuatanmu kepada makhluk Allah"
Jawab Iblis - "Adalah satu kemajuan bagi perempuan yang merenggangkan kedua
pehanya kepada lelaki yang bukan suaminya, setengahnya hingga mengeluarkan benih
yang salah sifatnya. Hamba goda segala manusia supaya meninggalkan sembahyang, leka
dengan makan minum, berbuat durhaka, hamba lalaikan dengan harta benda daripada
emas, perak dan permata, rumahnya, tanahnya, ladangnya supaya hasilnya dibelanjakan
kejalan haram. Demikian juga ketika temasya yang bercampur lelaki perempuan. Di situ
hamba lepaskan sebesar-besar godaan supaya hilang maruah dan minum arak. Apabila
terminum arak itu maka hilanglah akal, fikiran dan malunya. Lalu hamba hulurkan tali
cinta dan terbukalah beberapa pintu maksiat yang besar, datang perasaan hasad dengki
hingga kepada pekerjaan zina. Apabila terjadi kasih antara mereka, terpaksalah mereka
mencari wang hingga menjadi penipu, peminjam dan pencuri. Apabila mereka teringat
akan salah mereka lalu hendak bertaubat atau amal ibadat, hamba akan galang mereka
supaya mereka menangguhkannya. Bertambah keras hamba goda supaya menambahkan
maksiat dan mengambil isteri orang. Bila kena goda hatinya, datanglaah rasa riak, takbur,
megah, sombong dan melengahkan amalnya. Bila pada lidahnya, mereka akan gemar
berdusta, mencela dan mengumpat. Demikianlah hamba goda mereka setiap saat."
Soalan Nabi ke 3 - "Hai Iblis! Mengapa engkau bersusah payah dan berpenat
melakukan pekerjaan yang tidak mendatangkan faedah bahkan menambahkan laknat
yang besar serta siksa yang besar di neraka yang paling bawah? Hai kutuk Allah!
Siapa yang menjadikan engkau? Siapa yang melanjutkan usia engkau? Siapa yang
menerangkan mata engkau? Siapa yang memberi pendengaran engkau? Siapa yang
memberi kekuatan anggota badan engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Sekelian itu adalah anugerah daripada Tuhan Yang Maha Besar juga.
Tetapi hawa nafsu dan takbur menceburkan hamba menjadi sebesar-besar jahat. Tuan
lebih tahu bahawa hamba telah beribu-ribu tahun menjadi ketua kepada sekelian Malaikat
dan pangkat hamba telah dinaikkan dari satu langit ke satu langit yang tinggi. Kemudian
hamba tinggal di dunia ini beribadat bersama sekelian Malaikat beberapa lama. Tiba-tiba
datang firman Allah SWT hendak menjadikan seorang Khalifah di dunia ini, maka hamba
pun membantah. Lalu Allah mencipta lelaki (Nabi Adam) lalu dititahkan sekelian
Malaikat memberi hormat kepada lelaki itu, kecuali hamba yang ingkar. Oleh itu Allah
murka kepada hamba dan muka hamba yang cantik molek dan bercahaya itu bertukar
menjadi keji dan hodoh. Hamba berasa sakit hati. Kemudian Allah menjadikan Adam raja
di syurga dan dikurniakan seorang permaisuri(Siti Hawa) yang memerintah sekelian
bidadari. Hamba bertanbah dengki dan berdendam kepada mereka. Akhirnya dapat juga
hamba tipu melalui Siti Hawa yang menyuruh Adam memakan buah Khuldi, lalu
keduanya dihalau dari syurga ke dunia. Kedua mereka berpisah beberapa tahun dan
kemudian dipertemukan Allah (di Padang Arafah), hingga mereka mendapat beberapa
orang anak. Kemudian kami hasut anak lelakinya Qabil supaya membunuh saudaranya
Habil. Itu pun hamba masih tidak puas hati dan berbagai tipu daya hamba lakukan hingga
Hari Kiamat. Sebelum tuan lahir ke dunia, hamba serta bala tentera hamba dengan mudah
dapat naik ke langit untuk mencuri segala rahsia serta tulisan yang menyuruh manusia
berbuat ibadat serta balasan pahala dan syurga mereka. Kemudian hamba turun ke dunia,
dan memberitahu manusia yang lain daripada apa yang sebenarnya hamba dapat, dgn
berbagai tipu daya hingga tersesat dengan berbagai kitab bidaah dan karut-marut. Tetapi
apabila tuan lahir sahaja ke dunia ini, maka hamba tidak dibenarkan oleh Allah untuk
naik ke langit serta mencuri rahsia, kerana banyak Malaikat yang menjaga di setiap
lapisan pintu langit. Jika hamba berkeras juga hendak naik, maka Malaikat akan melontar
dengan anak panah daripada api yang menyala. Sudah banyak bala tentera hamba yang
terkena lontaran Malaikat itu dan semuanya terbakar menjadi abu. Maka besarlah
kesusahan hamba dan tentera hamba untuk menjalankan tugas hasutan."
Soalan Nabi ke 4 - "Hai Iblis! Apakah yang pertama engkau tipu akan manusia?"
Jawab Iblis - "Pertama sekali hamba palingkan iktikadnya imannya kepada kafir sama
ada dari segi perbuatan, perkataan, kelakuan atau hatinya. Jika tidak berjaya juga, hamba
akan tarik dengan cara mengurangkan pahala. Lama-kelamaan mereka akan terjerumus
mengikut kemahuan jalan hamba"
Soalan Nabi ke 5 - "Hai Iblis! Jika umatku sembahyang kerana Allah, bagaimana hal
engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Sebesar-besar kesusahan kepada hamba. Gementarlah badan hamba dan
lemah tulang sendi hamba. Maka hamba kerahkan berpuluh-puluh iblis datang menggoda
seorang manusia, pada setiap anggota badannya. Setengah-setengahnya datang pada
setiap anggota badannya supaya malas sembahyang, was-was, terlupa bilangan rakaatnya,
bimbang pada pekerjaan dunia yang ditinggalkannya, sentiasa hendak cepat habis solat,
hilangkan khusyuknya - matanya sentiasa menjeling ke kiri kanan, telinganya sentiasa
mendengar orang brcakap serta bunyi-bunyi yang lain. Setengah Iblis duduk di belakang
badan orang yang sembahyang itu supaya dia tidak kuasa sujud lama-lama, penat atau
duduk tahiyat dan dalam hatinya sentiasa hendak cepat habis sembahyang, itu semua
membawa kepada kurang pahala. Jika para Iblis itu tidak dapat menggoda manusia itu,
maka hamba sendiri akan menghukum mereka dengan seberat-berat hukuman"
Soalan Nabi ke 6 - "Jika umatku membaca Al-Quran kerana Allah, apalah rasa
engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Jika mereka membaca Al-Quran kerana Allah, maka rasa terbakarlah tubuh
hamba, putus-putus segala urat hamba lalu hamba lari daripadanya."
Soalan Nabi ke 7 - "Jika umatku mengerjakan haji kerana Allah, bagaimana rasa
engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Binasalah diri hamba, gugurlah daging dan tulang hamba kerana mereka
telah mencukupkan rukun Islamnya"
Soalan Nabi ke 8 - "Jika umatku berpuasa kerana Allah, bagaimana hal engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Ya Rasulullah! Inilah bencana yang paling besar bahayanya kepada hamba.
Apabila masuk awal bulan Ramadhan, maka memancarlah cahaya Arasy dan Kursi,
bahkan sekelian Malaikat menyambut dengan kesukaan. Bagi orang yang berpuasa, Allah
akan mengampunkan segala dosa yang lalu dan digantikan dengan pahala yang amat
besar serta tidak dicatatkan dosanya selama dia berpuasa. Yang menhancurkan hati
hamba ialah segala isi langit dan bumi; yakni Malaikat, bulan, bintang, burung dan ikan-
ikan semuanya siang malam mendoakan keampunan orang yang berpuasa. Satu lagi
kemuliaan orang berpuasa ialah dimerdekakan pada setiap masa dari azab neraka. Bahkan
semua pintu neraka ditutup manakala semua pintu syurga dibuka seluas-luasnya, serta
dihembuskan angin dari bawah Arasy yang bernama Angin Syirah yang amat lembut ke
dalam syurga. Pada hari umat tuan mula berpuasa, dengan perintah Allah datanglah
sekelian Malaikat dengan garangnya menangkap hamba dan tentera hamba; jin, syaitan
dan ifrit lalu dipasung kaki dan tangan dengan besi panas dan dirantai serta dimasukkan
ke bawah bumi yang amat dalam. Di sana pula beberapa azab yang lain telah menunggu
kami.Setelah habis umat tuan berpuasa barulah hamba dilepaskan dengan amaran agar
tidak mengganggu umat tuan. Umat tuan sendiri telah merasa ketenangan berpuasa
seperti mana mereka bekerja dan bersahur seorang diri di tengah malam tanpa rasa takut
berbanding bulan biasa."
Soalan Nabi ke 9 - "Hai Iblis! Bagaimana sekelian sahabatku kepada engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Sekelian sahabat tuan hamba juga adalah sebesar-besar seteru hamba.
Tiada upaya hamba melawannya dan tiada satu tipu daya yang dapat masuk kepada
mereka. Kerana tuan sendiri telah berkata yang "Sekelian sahabatku adalah seperti
bintang di langit, jika kamu mengikut mereka, maka kamu akan mendapat petunjuk."
Saidina Abu Bakar al-Siddiq sebelum bersama tuan lagi, hamba tidak dapat hampir
kepadanya inikan pula setelah berdamping dengan tuan. Beliau begitu percaya atas
kebenaran tuan hingga dia menjadi wazirul a'zam. Bahkan tuan sendiri telah mengatakan
jika ditimbang sekelian isi dunia ini dengan amal kebajikan Abu Bakar, maka akan lebih
berat amal kebajikan Abu Bakar. Tambahan pula dia telah menjadi mertua tuan kerana
tuan berkahwin dengan anaknya, Saiyidatina Aisyah yang juga banyak menghafaz Hadis
tuan. Saidina Umar Al-Khattab pula tidaklah berani hamba pandang akan wajahnya
kerana dia sangat keras menjalankan hukum syariat Islam dengan saksama. Jika hamba
pandang wajahnya, maka gementarlah segala tulang sendi hamba kerana sangat takut. Ini
kerana imannya sangat kuat apalagi tuan telah mengatakan, "JIKALAU adanya Nabi
sesudah aku maka Umar boleh menggantikan aku" kerana dia adalah orang harapan tuan
serta pandai membezakan antara kafir dan Islam hingga digelar 'Al-Faruq'. Saidina
Usman Al-Affan lagi hamba tidak boleh hampir, kerana lidahnya sentiasa bergerak
membaca Al-Quran. Dia penghulu orang sabar, penghulu orang mati syahid dan menjadi
menantu tuan sebanyak dua kali. Kerana taatnya, banyak Malaikat datang melawat dan
memberi hormat kepadanya kerana Malaikat itu sangat malu kepadanya hingga tuan
mengatakan,"Barang siapa menulis Bismillahir rahmanir rahim pada kitab atau kertas-
kertas dengan dakwat merah, nescaya mendapat pahala seperti pahala Usman mati
syahid" Saidina Ali Abi Talib pun itu hamba sangat takut kerana hebatnya dan gagahnya
dia di medan perang, tetapi sangat bersopan, alim orangnya. Jika iblis, syaitan dan jin
memandang beliau, maka terbakarlah kedua mata mereka kerana dia sangat kuat
beribadat serta beliau adalah budak pertama memeluk agama Islam dan tidak pernah
menunduk kan kepalanya kepada sebarang berhala. Digelar 'Ali Karamullahu Wajhahu' -
dimuliakan Allah akan wajahnya dan juga 'Harimau Allah' dan tuan sendiri berkata
"Akulah negeri segala ilmu dan Ali itu pintunya". Tambahan pula dia menjadi menantu
kepada tuan, lagilah hamba ngeri kepadanya."
Soalan Nabi ke 10 - "Bagaimana tipu daya engkau kepada umatku?"
Jawab Iblis - "Umat tuan itu ada tiga macam. Yang pertama seperti hujan dari langit yang
menghidupkan segala tumbuhan iaitu ulama yang memberi nasihat kepada manusia
supaya mengerjakan perintah Allah serta meninggalkan laranganNya seperti kata Jibrail
a.s "Ulama itu adalah pelita dunia dan pelita akhirat" Yang kedua umat tuan seperti tanah
iaitu orang yang sabar, syukur dan redha dengan kurniaan Allah. Berbuat amal soleh,
tawakal dan kebajikan. Yang ketiga umat tuan seperti Firaun; terlampau tamak dengan
harta dunia serta dihilangkan amal akhirat. Maka hamba pun sukacita lalu masuk
kedalam badannya, hamba putarkan hatinya ke lautan derhaka dan hamba hela ke mana
sahaja mengikut kehendak hamba. Jadi dia sentiasa bimbang kepada dunia dan tidak
hendak menuntut ilmu, tiada masa beramal ibadat, tidak hendak mengeluarkan zakat,
miskin hendak beribadat. Lalu hamba godanya minta kaya dulu, dan apabila diizinkan
Allah dia menjadi kaya, maka dilupakan beramal, tidak berzakat seperti Qarun yang
tenggelam dengan istana mahligainya. Bila umat tuan terkena penyakit tidak sabar dan
tamak, dia sentiasa bimbang akan hartanya dan setengahnya asyik hendak merebut dunia
harta, cakap besar sesama Islam, benci dan menghina kepada yang miskin,
membelanjakan hartanya untuka jalan maksiat, tempat judi dan perempuan lacur"
Soalan Nabi ke 11 - "Siapa yang serupa dengan engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Orang yang meringankan syariat tuan hamba dan membenci orang belajar
agama Islam"
Soalan Nabi ke 12 - "Siapa yang mencahayakan muka engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Orang yang berdosa, bersumpah bohong, saksi palsu, pemungkir janji"
Soalan Nabi ke 13 - "Apakah rahsia engkau kepada umatku?"
Jawab Iblis - Jika seorang Islam pergi buang air besar serta tidak membaca doa pelindung
syaitan, maka hamba gosok-gosokkan najisnya sendiri ke badannya tanpa dia sedari"
Soalan Nabi ke 14 - "Jika umatku bersatu dengan isterinya, bagaimana hal engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Jika umat tuan hendak bersetubuh dengan isterinya serta membaca doa
pelindung syaitan, maka larilah hamba dari mereka. Jika tidak hamba akan bersetubuh
dahulu dengan isterinya, dan bercampurlah benih hamba dengan benih isterinya. Jika
menjadi anak maka anak itu akan gemar kepada pekerjaan maksiat, malas pada kebaikan,
durhaka. Ini semua kerana kealpaan ibu bapanya sendiri. Begitu juga jika mereka makan
tanpa Bismillah, hamba yang dahulu makan daripadanya. Walaupun mereka makan,
tiadalah rasa kenyang."
Soalan Nabi ke 15 - "Dengan jalan apa boleh menolak tipu daya engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Jika dia berbuat dosa, maka dia kembali bertaubat kepada Allah, menangis
kesal akan perbuatannya. Apabila marah segeralah mengambil air sembahyang, maka
padamlah marahnya."
Soalan Nabi ke 16 - "Siapakah orang yang paling engkau lebih suka?"
Jawab Iblis - "Lelaki dan perempuan yang tidak mencukur atau mencabut bulu ketiak
atau bulu ari-ari (bulu kemaluan) selama 40 hari. Di situ lah hamba mengecilkan diri,
bersarang, bergantung, berbuai seperti pijat pada bulu itu"
Soalan Nabi ke 17 - "Hai Iblis! Siapakah saudara engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Orang yang tidur meniarap, orang yang matanya celik di waktu subuh
tetapi menyambung tidur semula. Lalu hamba ulit dia lena hingga terbit fajar. Demikian
jua pada waktu zohor, asar, maghrib dan isyak, hamba beratkan hatinya untuk solat"
Soalan Nabi ke 18 - "Apakah jalan yang membinasakan diri engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Orang yang banyak menyebut nama Allah, bersedekah dengan tidak
diketahui orang, banyak bertaubat, banyak tadarus Al-Quran dan solat tengah malam"
Soalan Nabi ke 19 - "Hai Iblis! Apakah yang memecahkan mata engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Orang yang duduk di dalam masjid serta beriktikaf di dalamnya"
Soalan Nabi ke 20 - "Apa lagi yang memecahkan mata engkau?"
Jawab Iblis - "Orang yang taat kepada kedua ibubapanya, mendengar kata mereka,
membantu makan-pakai mereka selama mereka hidup, kerana tuan telah bersabda,'Syurga
itu di bawah tapak kaki ibu' "
Topik 9 - Surat Berantai : Hukum dan Penjelasan
Ini adalah contoh Surat Berantai bertajuk : "Wasiat untuk semua umat Islam di seluruh
dunia daripada Sheikh Ahmad (Madinah)" yang pernah menakutkan kita sikit masa
dahulu.
Bismillahirahamanirahim
Pada satu malam di kala hamba membaca al-quran di makam Rasulullah,

selepas membaca hamba letih lalu tertidur. Di dalam tidur hamba
bermimpi di mana Rasulullah mendatangi hamba lalu bersabda:
"Dalam 60,000 orang di dunia di zaman ini, tiada seorang pun yang
matinya di dalam keadaan beriman. Isteri-isteri tidak lagi mendengar
kata-kata suami, ramai yang tidak berzakat dan tidak lagi membuat
kebajikan. Oleh itu Sheikh Ahmad hendaklah kamu menyedarkan orang-
orang ini supaya membuat kebajikan, kerana hari penghabisan (kiamat)
akan tiba, yang mana semua bintang-bintang akan terbit dari langit,
sesudah itu pintu (taubat) akan tertutup, tulisan di-dalam al-quran akan
hilang dan matahari turun dekat di atas kepala".
Pesanan hamba ini
Berselawatlah untuk jujungan kita Nabi Muhamaad s.a.w, bertaubatlah

dengan segera sementara pintu taubat masih terbuka. Sembayanglah
jangan ditinggalkan, keluarkan zakat, berpuasalah dan tunaikan haji jika
mampu.
Perhatian
Setelah membaca wasiat ini, maka hendaklah ditulis atau dicetak dan
disampaikan pada orang lain atau dikirimkan sebanyak 20 keping.
Sekiranya ini ada dilakukan anda akan dianugerahi Allah sesuatu niat atau
hajat. Dan niat atau hajat anda akan dikabulkan oleh Allah. Kata Sheikh
Ahmad lagi, jika apa yang hamba katakan tidak benar, biarlah hamba mati
dalam kekufuran dan biarlah tidak dapat perlindungan atau syaffaat
daripada Rasulullah s.a.w ( nauzubillah ) Oleh itu hendaklah dituliskan
atau dicetak sebanyak 20 keping dan disampaikan kepada orang lain
dalam masa dua (2) minggu dan beroleh kebahagian dan kesejahteraan.
Lakukanlah ini dengan niat kerana Allah dan ingat apabila anda menerima
surat ini, janganlah dibiarkan atau diabaikan.
Untuk maklumat
Seorang saudagar dari Bombay telah menerima wasiat dan beliau

kemudiannya mencetak 20 salinan dan mengirimkannya kepada
orang lain. Ia kemudian dianugerahkan Allah dengan mendapat
keuntungan yang besar dalam perniagaannya.
Tan Sri Ghazali bekas Menteri Besar secara tidak langsung telah
dipecat jawatannya, kerana apabila beliau menerima wasiat ini
beliau telah terlupa menulis 20 salinan untuk diedarkan kepada
orang lain tetapi beliau telah mula menyedari kesilapan itu lalu
beliau mencetak wasiat ini dan terus mengirimkan kepada orang
lain dan berapa hari kemudian beliau dilantik menjadi menteri
kabinet.
Perdana Menteri Zulfiqar Ali telah menerima wasiat ini dan tidak
percaya akan kebenaran dan mengangap ianya palsu lalu
dibuangkannya ke dalam bakul sampah. Seminggu kemudian
beliau telah dijatuhkan hukuman mati.
Di Terangganu seorang hamba Allah telah menerima wasiat ini
melalui kawannya dari Melaka. Malangnya beliau tidak
mengindahkan surat wasiat ini dan mengatakan ianya bohong
belaka dan sengaja diadakan untuk menakutkan orang yang
membacanya Berapa minggu kemudian beliau mengidap penyakit
yang ganjil dan penyakitnya amat menyedihkan. Setelah hampir
tiga minggu beliau dirawat di hospital dan malangnya penyakitnya
sukar diubati oleh doktor yang merawatnya. Akhirnya baru beliau
teringat akan surat wasiat yang masih dalam simpanannya lalu
beliau suruh sepupunya mencetak wasiat ini dan dibahagikan
kepada orang lain. Seminggu kemudian beliau berangsur pulih
sehingga sekarang.
Banyak lagi contoh orang yang menerima wasiat ini dan tidak
mempercayainya dan tidak mengirimkan kepada orang lain dimana
mereka mendapat berbagai malapetaka. Setelah mengenangkan kejadian
yang menggemberikan dan menyakitkan ini diharap anda jangan lupa
menyempurnakan 20 salinan dalam masa 90 jam dari masa anda membaca
wasiat ini.
Insya Allah anda akan memperolehi sesuatu yang dihajati dan akan
menerima anugerah dari Allah dan berdoalah kepada yang Maha Esa
dengan penuh keyakinaan. Pasti ianya akan menerangi hidup anda dengan
nikmat ketenangan hidup.
Sekian wassalam......
Penjelasan Surat Berantai
Ini adalah penjelasan yang saya dapat menerusi kiriman email daripada seorang sahabat.
Semoga perkara ini menjadi pengiktibaran kepada kita dalam kehidupan seharian.
Wallahu 'alam.
Soalan:
Saya telah terbaca satu surat (wasiat) dan amat terkejut dgn isi kandungannya. Ia
dikatakan sebagai satu wasiat daripada Sheikh Ahmad (pemegang anak kunci makam
Rasullullah s.a.w) kepada semua umat di seluruh dunia. Di akhir wasiat itu beliau
berkata, "Di Bombay terdapat seorang yang telah menyalin wasiat itu sebanyak 30
salinan dan dia telah dikurniakan Allah rezeki sebanyak 25000 rupiah. Seorang lagi
menyebarkan wasiat itu diberikan rezeki 6000 rupiah oleh Allah. Terdapat seorang yang
mendustakan wasiat ini, maka dia telah kematian anaknya pada hari itu juga. Dia berkata
bahawa sesiapa yang menerima wasiat ini dan tidak menyebarkannya akan ditimpa
musibah yang besar. Apakah pandangan tuan terhadap wasiat ini? Adakah ia benar atau
dusta?.
Dr. Yusof Al-Qardawi menjawab:
Ramai orang tertanya-tanya tentang wasiat ini. Sebenarnya ia bukanlah perkara baru.
Saya telah melihatnya semenjak puluhan tahun dahulu. Wasiat ini dikaitkan dgn seorang
lelaki bernama Sheikh Ahmad, pemegang kunci makan Rasullulah s.a.w. Jika kita
bertanya kepada penduduk Madinah atau Hijaz tentang Sheikh Ahmad ini dan tugasnya,
kita tidak akan dapat mengesannya atau mendengar khabar berita mengenainya. Iannya
tidak pernah dikenali dan tidak pernah dilihat oleh penduduk Madinah. Tetapi terdapat
orang yang menyebarkan apa yang dikatakan sebagai wasiat ke negara-negara Islam.
Wasiat itu tidak mempunyai apa-apa nilai di sisi agama. Persoalan yang dikemukakan
dalam surat itu tidaklah berhajat kepada wasiat Sheikh Ahmad atau Sheikh Omar.
Sesungguhnya Al-Quran dengan jelas telah menyatakan sebahagian daripada itu. Kita
sudah ada Al-Quran dan Sunnah, kedua-duanya sudah lebih daripada mencukupi. Allah
berfirman dalam Surah Al-Maidah:
"Hari ini Aku sempurnakan bagimu agama kamu (Islam) dan Aku
sempurnakan ke atasmu nikmat-Ku serta Aku reda Islam sebagai agama
kamu"
Sesiapa yang menyangka bahawa agama Islam, setelah disempurnakan dan dilengkapkan
oleh Allah, masih lagi berhajat kepada wasiat orang yang tidak diketahui asal-usulnya,
sesungguhnya telah timbul keraguan dan syak di hatinya akan kesempurnaan dan
kesyumulan Islam itu.
Terdapat tanda-tanda pembohongan dan kejahatan pada wasiat tersebut. Orang yang
melakukannya telah mengancam serta menakut-nakutkan orang ramai, iaitu sekiranya
wasiat itu tidak disebarkan, mereka akan ditimpa musibah, kematian anak-anak atau
kehilangan harta benda. Inilah yang tidak pernah diucapkan oleh manusia bahkan tidak
ada dalam kitab Allah dan sunah Rasul-Nya.
Manusia tidak pernah menerima perintah seperti 'sesiapa yang membaca Al-Quran
hendaklah disalin 25 salinan dan menyebarkannya. Jika tidak melakukan demikian, dia
akan ditimpa musibah.' Maka bagaimana pula dengan wasiat yang khurafat ini?. Perkara
ini tentulah tidak dapat diterima oleh akal muslim yang memahami Islam dengan
kefahaman yang sebenar.
Wasiat tersebut menyatakan bahawa si fulan dari negeri tertentu yang menyebarkan
wasiat itu telah memperolehi puluhan ribu rupiah. Ini adalah usaha untuk menyeleweng
dan menyesatkan orang-orang Islam dari jalan yang sebenar. Juga menyelewengkan umat
dari sunah alam dan konsep sebab dan musabab yang telah dijadikan Allah sebagai
undang-undang alam ini.
Memperolehi rezeki ada cara-caranya. Berpegang kepada. Perkara-perkara khurafat

seumpama ini menyelewengkan pemikiran umat Islam. Kita bimbang kalau-kalau umat
Islam mempercayai khurafat ini dan menyangka bahawa sesiapa yang menyebarkannya
akan mendapat shafaat khusus daripada. Rasulullah s.a.w. Sesungguhnya shafaat
Rasulullah adalah untuk orang-orang yang tidak melakukan dosa-dosa besar di kalangan
umat-umatnya sebagaimana sabda baginda dlm sebuah hadis:
"Orang yang paling merasa bahagia dengan syafaatku di hari kiamat adalah orang yang
mengatakan "tiada tuhan yang lain daripada Allah" dengan penuh keikhlasan
hatinya"Kita memohon kepada Allah memberikan kefahaman yang benar tentang urusan
agama, menunjukkan jalan yang lurus serta dijauhkan daripada mempercayai khurafat,
rekaan-rekaan dan kebatilan.
Wassalam
First created : Saturday, 09 May 1998, 4.20 pm.
RESIPI MENJAUHKAN TABIB
Seorang tabib dihantar oleh penguasa Mesir ke Medinah sebagai

menunjukkan tanda persahabatan. Sepanjang dua tahun tabib itu
berada di sana, tidak ada seorangpun yang datang untuk mendapatkan
rawatan perubatan. Tabib menjadi hairan dan bosan kerana tidak dapat
memberikan perkhidmatan apa-apa kepada penduduk Medinah.
Tabib itu berjumpa Nabi Muhammad saw untuk mendapatkan kepastian.

Dia bertanya Nabi, "Adakah penduduk sini takut untuk berjumpa tabib?"
Nabi menjawab "Tidak! Dengan musuh mereka tidak takut, apatah lagi
dengan tabib." Tabib bertanya lagi, "Tapi mengapa sepanjang 2 tahun
saya di sini, seorang pun tidak berubat dengan saya?" Nabi menjelaskan
"Sebab penduduk Medinah tidak ada yang sakit." Tabib itu kurang
mempercayai Nabi dan berkata, "Masakan tidak ada satu orang pun
yang sakit." Melihat keraguan tabib itu, Nabi mempersilakan tabib itu
menjelajah ke merata pelusuk Medinah untuk membuktikan kebenaran
kata-katanya.
Tabib itu beredar dan menjelajah ke pelusuk Medinah. Puas dia mencari
pesakit tetapi tidak menjumpai walau seorangpun. Terbuktilah
kepadanya kebenaran kata-kata Nabi itu.
Didorong oleh perasaan ingintahu dan kekagumannya, tabib itu sekali

lagi berjumpa Nabi saw. lalu berkata, "Benar seperti kata-kata baginda.
Apakah petua sehingga semua penduduk Medinah sihat-sihat belaka?"
Nabi menerangkan, "Kami adalah satu kaum yang tidak akan makan jika
tidak lapar. Dan jika kami makan, kami tidak makan sehingga terlalu
kenyang. Itulah petua untuk kesihatan. Yakinilah makanan yang halal
dan baik. Makanlah untuk bertaqwa kepada Allah bukan sekadar
memuaskan hawa nafsu."
MORAL & IKTIBAR
Petua untuk sihat: Makan ketika lapar. Berhenti sebelum kenyang
Agama Islam suatu agama yang syumul; ia mencakupi bidang jasmani dan
rohani
Semua kata-kata Nabi adalah BENAR belaka; tidak boleh mempertikannya.
Berpegang kepada ajaran Nabi membawa keselamatan bukan saja di akhirat
malahan di dunia juga.
Bertawakkal kepada Allah menjauhkan diri dari menyerahkan nasib kepada
selain Allah
Menyendatkan perut dengan pelbagai makanan yang banyak menyebabkan
kesihatan terganggu dan mengurangkan kecerdasan otak dan jiwa.
Sebaliknya mengosongkan perut dengan amalan puasa boleh melahirkan
ketajaman otak dan kejernihan jiwa.
Para Nabi dan orang-orang soleh memilih lapar di dunia supaya kenyang di
akhirat.
Dari Al Barra' bin 'Azib ra. berkata: Rasulullah saw. menyuruh kami untuk menjenguk orang sakit,
mengiringkan jenazah, menjawab do'a orang yang bersin, menepati sumpah, menolong orang
yang teraniaya,
memenuhi undangan dan menyebarluaskan salam.
(HR Bukhari dan Muslim)
Seorang pujangga barat pernah menulis:
Dalam dunia ini, kita tidak punya sesiapa kecuali diri sendiri...tetapi dalam kita
bersendiri, kita beruntung kerana mempunyai seorang sahabat yang memahami
kita.
Sebagaimana kita mengharapkan keikhlasan dan kejujuran seorang sahabat,
begitu juga dia. Tetapi kita sering terlupa akan hal itu. Kita cuma mengambil kira
tentang harapan dan perasaan kita. Kita rasa dikhianati bila dia tidak menepati
janjinya. Kita tidak memberi dia peluang untuk menerang keadaannya. Bagi kita,
itu alasannya untuk menutup kesilapan dan membela diri.
Kita terlupa, kita juga pernah membiarkan dia ternanti-nanti....kerana kita juga ada
janji yang tidak ditepati. Kita beri beribu alasan, 'memaksa' dia menerima alasan
kita. Waktu itu, terfikirkah kita tentang perasaannya??? Seperti kita, dia juga tahu
rasa kecewa....tetapi kita sering terlupa.
Untungnya mempunyai seorang kawan yang sentiasa di sisi kita pada waktu kita
memerlukan dia. Dia mendengar luahan perasaan kita, segala rasa kecewa dan
ketakutan, harapan dan impian kita luahkan, dia memberi jalan sebagai laluan
penyelesaian masalah.
Selalunya kita terlalu asyik bercerita tentang diri kita hingga kadang-kadang
terlupa kawan kita juga ada cerita yang ingin dikongsi bersama kita.
Pernahkah kita memberi dia peluang untuk menceritakan tentang rasa

bimbangnya, rasa takutnya?
Pernahkah kita menenangkan dia sebagaimana dia pernah menyabarkan kita?
Ikhlaskah kita mendengar tentang kejayaan dan berita gembiranya?
Mampukah kita menjadi sumber kekuatannya seperti mana dia meniup semangat
setiap kali kita merasa kecewa dan menyerah kalah?
Dapatkah kita yakinkan dia bahawa kita boleh dipercayai, kita boleh dijadikan
tempat untuk bersandar bila terasa lemah, agar tidak rebah?
Bolehkah kita menjadi bahu untuk dia sandarkan harapan?
Sesekali jadilah kawan yang mendengar dari yang hanya bercerita. Ambillah masa
untuk memahami hati dan perasaan kawan, kerana dia juga seorang manusia; dia
juga ada rasa takut, ada rasa...bimbang, sedih dan kecewa. Dia juga ada
kelemahan dan dia juga perlukan kawan sebagai kekuatan. Jadilah kita kawannya
itu. Kita selalu melihat dia ketawa, tetapi mungkin sebenarnya dia tidak setabah
yang kita sangka. Disebalik senyumannya itu, mungkin banyak cerita sedih yang
ingin diluahkan, disebalik ketenangannya, mungkin tersimpan seribu kekalutan,
kita tidak tahu.......tetapi jika kita cuba jadi sahabat seperti dia, mungkin kita akan
tahu.
SAIDINA ALI DAN PEMINTA SEDEKAH
Siti Fatimah, isteri Saidina Ali didatangi seorang peminta sedekah.

Ketika itu Saidina Ali mempunyai 50 dirham. Setelah menerima
wang, pengemis itu pun balik. Di tengah jalan, Saidina Ali bertanya
berapa banyak yang diberi oleh Saidatina Fatimah. Apabila
diberitahu 25 dirham, Saidina Ali menyuruh pengemis itu pergi sekali
lagi ke rumahnya. Pengemis itu pun pergi dan Fatimah memberikan
baki 25 dirham kepada pengemis itu.
Selang beberapa hari, datang seorang hamba Allah berjumpa

Saidina Ali dengan membawa seekor unta. Orang itu mengadu
dalam kesusahan dan ingin menjualkan untanya. Saidina Ali tanpa
berlengah menyatakan kesanggupan untuk membelinya,
meskipun ketika itu dia tidak berwang. Dia berjanji akan membayar
harga unta itu dalam masa beberapa hari.
Dalam perjalanan pulang, Saidina Ali berjumpa dengan seorang

lelaki yang ingin membeli unta itu dengan harga yang lebih tinggi
daripada harga asal. Saidina Ali pun menjualkan unta itu kepada
orang itu. Setelah mendapat wang, Saidina Ali pun menjelaskan
hutangnya kepada penjual unta.
Beberapa hari kemudian, Rasulullah saw berjumpa Saidina Ali lalu

bertanya "Ya Ali, tahukah kamu siapakah yang menjual dan
membeli unta itu?" Apabila Saidina Ali mengatakan tidak tahu,
Nabi menerangkan yang menjual itu ialah Jibril dan yang
membelinya ialah Mikail.
MORAL & IKTIBAR
o Allah membalas atau memberi ganjaran berlipat ganda jika
kita menolong orang yang dalam kesusahan.
o Memberikan bantuan kepada orang yang susah merupakan
satu aset yang balasannya akan diterima di dunia lagi.
o Berikanlah bantuan kepada orang yang berada di dalam
kesempitan kelak Allah akan melepaskan kita semasa kita
berada dalam kesusahan.
o Keyakinan kepada balasan baik Allah merangsang kita untuk
melakukan amalan dan kebajikan dengan lebih banyak.
SETEGUH IMAN BILAL
Saidina Bilal (berkulit hitam) adalah di antara 7 orang yang pertama

menzahirkan keIslaman secara terangan meskipun diancam oleh kafir
musyrik. Apabila mengetahui hambanya, Bilal telah memeluk Islam, tuannya
telah menyeksa Bilal dengan memakaikan baju besi dan kemudian dijemur di
padang pasir yang sangat panas. Ketika ditanya tentang pegangan
agamanya, Bilal tetap mengatakan 'Ahad! Ahad!' (Allah Yang Esa, Yang Esa).
Bilal kemudian diseret hingga ke lereng-lereng gunung tetapi Bilal tetap
memperkatakan 'Ahad! Ahad!'. Imannya tidak bergoncang sedikitpun.
Melihatkan tidak apa perubahan berlaku dalam diri Bilal, mereka kemudian
mempertingkatkan seksaan dengan meletakkan batu besar di atas badannya
yang terjemur di tengah kepanasan matahari. Namun tiada ucapan lain yang
keluar dari mulut Bilal kecuali 'Ahad! Ahad!' Bilal rela mati daripada menukar
pegangan agamanya yang haq kepada yang bathil.
Apabila Saidina Abu Bakar diberitahu tentang seksa yang dialami oleh Bilal,
Abu Bakar terus berjumpa Umaiyah yang sedang menyeksa Bilal dan
kemudian meminta Bilal dibebaskan. Sebagai ganti Abu Bakar menyerahkan
seorang hamba hitam yang lebih kuat sebagai tebusan. Sebaik saja ditebus,
Saidina Abu Bakar pun membebaskan Bilal dari perhambaan.
MORAL & IKTIBAR
o Iman yang kental dan pegangan aqidah yang kukuh tidak dapat
digugat sekalipun diseksa dengan pelbagai seksaan
o Kemanisan iman tidak ada tolong banding di dunia dan akhirat
o Allah tidak melihat kecantikan fizikal seseorang tetapi yang paling
utama ialah kecantikan hati
o Allah mempertingkatkan tahap atau darjah keimanan seseorang,
dengan mengenakan ujian dan cubaan.
o Selagi tidak diuji dengan kesusahan, tahap keimanan belum dapat
dipastikan kebenarannya
o Bertambah kuat iman seseorang, bertambah hebat ujian yang Allah
kenakan ke atasnya
o Ujian dan bala yang dikenakan ke atas seseorang bukan bererti Allah
membencinya, sebaliknya ia adalah satu rahmat untuk meninggikan
darjatnya di sisi Allah.
o Bala sebenarnya bukan 'bala' tetapi adalah satu nikmat yang patut
disyukuri
Kekayaan dan kesenangan hidup belum tentu menjadi satu nikmat,
bahkan ia satu cubaan/bala untuk menguji sama ada kita mensyukuri
Allah atau sebaliknya
SEKADAR RENUNGAN
Sayyidina Ali K.w.b. pernah menegaskan bahawa:
"Ilmu (hikmah) itu laksana harta yang hilang bagi orang mukmin. Oleh itu ambil ia
walaupun daripada orang munafiq."
"Kamu janganlah suka melihat kejatuhan orang lain kerana kamu sendiri tidak tahu
akan perubahan masa."
Nasihat Imam al-Ghazali:
"Wahai anakku! Pelajarilah ilmu berdasarkan pengetahuan, agar menerangi fikiran

dalam menegakkan agama Allah dan memimpin umat ke jalan yang benar.
Hendaklah semua amal dan usahamu didasari niat semata-mata untuk berbakti
kepada Allah yang telah menjadikan engkau, bukannya kerana maksud yang lain.
Abdullah bin Abbas pernah mengatakan:
"Ilmu itu didapati dengan lidah yang gemar bertanya dan akal yang suka berfikir."
Nasihat Imam al-Ghazali dalam Kitab al-Mawaa'iz:
Bahawasanya Allah s.w.t telah berfirman di dalam di dalam sebuah hadis Qudsi
yang mafhumnya:
"Hai anak-anak Adam! Aku sungguh hairan kepada orang-orang yang yakin dengan
kematian, akan tetapi bagaimanakah ia masih boleh bergembira?"
"Aku hairan melihat mereka yang percaya adanya sesuatu perhitungan, akan tetapi
kenapakah ia masih leka mengumpulkan harta?"
"Aku hairan orang-orang yang yakin dengan wujudnya alam kubur, lalu
bagaimanakah ia maih boleh ketawa?"
"Aku hairan dengan orang yang yakin bahawa dunia ini akan musnah, tetapi
bagaimanakah ia masih tenang di atasnya?"
"Aku hairan melihat orang yang alim lidahnya tetapi jahil hatinya."
"Aku hairan orang yang membersihkan dengan air tetapi tidak dengan hatinya."
"Aku hairan orang yang suka mengambil tahu keburukan orang lain sedangkan ia
lupa dengan keburukan dirinya. Atau orang yang tahu sesungguhnya Allah akan
membongkar segala maksiat yang dilakukan, atau orang yang tahu ia akan mati
keseorangan di dalam kubur serta akan dihisab keseorangan, bagaimanakah ia
masih lagi bersukaria sesama manusia?"
"Tidak ada Tuhan selain Aku dan Muhammad itu hamba-Ku dan Rasul-Ku."
Kata-kata Hikmah Imam Syafie:
1. Barangsiapa menghendaki akhirat wajib baginya ikhlas pada ilmu.
2. Tidak ada sesuatu yang lebih indah pada ulama' melainkan dengan kefakiran
dan memadai apa yang ada dan redha dengan keduanya.
3. Hendaklah kamu berilmu pengetahuan sebelum kamu menjadi ketua sebab

sesudah kamu menjadi ketua, tiada jalan lagi bagi kamu mencari pengetahuan.
4. Orang yang berakal itu ialah orang yang akalnya dapat mengawal segala sifat-
sifat mazmumah(keji).
5. Barangsiapa mencintai bahawa Allah menutupi baginya dengan kebaikan maka

hendaklah dia sangka baik dengan manusia.
Kata-kata Hikmah Imam Malik:
1. Bukanlah ilmu itu dengan membanyakkan riwayat tetapi ilmu itu cahaya yang
Allah letak dalam hati.
2. Apabila seseorang itu memuji dirinya maka hilanglah cahayanya.
3. Wajiblah di atas orang yang menuntut ilmu bahawa dia memiliki kebesaran,
ketenangan dan ketakutan.
Luqmanul Hakim menasihati anaknya:
"Wahai anakku dampingilah selalu para ulama' dan engkau jangan banyak
berdebat terhadap mereka agar jangan dibenci oleh mereka itu."
"Ambillah dari dunia sekadar keperluan dan biayakan(belanjakan) lebihan hasil
usahamu untuk akhirat. Dunia jangan ditolak habis agar lain dan tidak membalas
apa-apa) yang memberati manusia lain."
"Selalu-selalulah berpuasa untuk menundukkan nafsumu, tetapi janganlah sampai

meletihkan badan sehingga merosakkan acara sembahyang kerana sembahyang
lebih utama dari puasa. Janganlah engkau berteman duduk dengan orang yang
bodoh sombong dan jangan dirapati orang yang bermuka dua."
Dengan Siapa Engkau Duduk ...?
Barang siapa yang duduk dengan lapan macam manusia maka akan ditambah oleh
Allah baginya lapan corak hidup iaitu:
1. Barangsiapa suka duduk bersama orang kaya, akan ditambah Allah

kecintaannya kepada dunia dan keinginan kepadanya.
2. Barangsiapa suka duduk bersama orang miskin, akan dijadikan Allah baginya
kesukaan bersyukur dan redha menerima pembahagian yang ditentukan Allah.
3. Barangsiapa yang suka duduk dengan Sultan (pemerintah negara), akan

ditambah Allah kasarnya dan sombongnya.
4. Barangsiapa yang suka duduk dengan perempuan, akan ditambah Allah bodoh
dan syahwatnya.
5. Barangsiapa suka duduk bersama kanak-kanak, akan ditambah kesukaannya

bermain-main dan bersenda gurau.
6. Barangsiapa yang suka duduk dengan orang fasiq, akan bertambahlah beraninya
berbuat dosa dan menunda-nunda untuk bertaubat.
7. Barangsiapa yang suka duduk dengan orang-orang soleh, akan bertambahlah

keinginannya untuk taat.
8. Barangsiapa yang suka duduk dengan para Ulama' maka bertambahlah ilmu dan
waraknya.
Hari ini anda mampu...
"Hari ini anda mampu mandi sendiri tetapi suatu hari nanti orang lain yang akan
memandikan anda."
"Hari ini anda mampu pakai pakaian sendiri tetapi suatu hari nanti orang lain yang
akan memakaikan pakaian untuk anda."
"Hari ini anda mampu pakai pakaian yang cantik dan mahal tetapi suatu hari nanti
anda hanya mampu memakai sehelai kain putih sahaja (kafan)."
"Hari ini anda punya ramai saudara dan teman tetapi suatu hari nanti anda
keseorangan di dalam kubur."
"Hari ini anda bebas bergerak ke mana sahaja anda suka tetapi suatu hari nanti
anda akan tinggal di dalam liang lahad yang sempit."
"Hari ini anda diterangi oleh lampu yang terang tetapi suatu hari nanti anda akan
tinggal di dalam kubur yang gelap gelita."
"Hari ini anda mampu makan dan minum sesuka hati tetapi suatu hari nanti tubuh
anda akan dimakan oleh ulat, ular dan kala jengking didalam kubur."
"Anda sayang pada anak, isteri, ibubapa dan keluarga tetapi suatu hari nanti anda
akan meninggalkannya buat selama-lamanya."
"Dengan wang anda mampu pergi kemana sahaja di dunia ini tetapi dengan wang
anda belum tentu mampu membeli syurga Allah yang tinggi nilainya itu."
Sama-samalah kita renungi dan insafinya ...sahabat-sahabat yang diingati.
"Anggaplah ilmu yang kita perolehi itu ibarat setitik air yang kecil sahaja. Oleh itu,
berusahalah untuk menambah setitik air itu agar menjadi lautanyang luas."
Ilsor.
SI-SOPAK, SI-BOTAK DAN SI-BUTA
Pada suatu hari Allah memerintahkan malaikat bertemu dengan tiga orang
Bani Israil. Ketiga-tiga mereka cacat; seorang botak, seorang sopak dan
seorang lagi buta.
Malaikat yang menyamar seperti manusia itu bertanya si-sopak "Jika Allah
hendak kurniakan sesuatu untuk kamu, apakah yang kamu mahu?" Si-sopak
menjawab, "Saya mahu kulit saya sembuh seperti biasa dan diberi kekayaan
yang banyak." Dengan takdir Allah, kulitnya kembali sembuh dan dikurniakan
rezeki yang banyak.
Kemudian malaikat bertanya si-botak soalan yang sama. Si-botak menjawab,

"Saya mahu kepala saya berambut semula supaya kelihatan kacak dan
diberikan harta yang banyak." Tiba-tiba, dengan kurnia Allah si-botak itu
kembali berambut dan diberikan harta yang banyak.
Selepas itu malaikat bertanya si-buta pertanyaan yang sama. Si-buta

menjawab, "Saya hendak mata saya dicelikkan semula dan diberikan harta
yang banyak." Dengan takdir Allah, mata si-buta menjadi celik dan
dikurniakan kekayaan yang melimpah.
Selang beberapa bulan, Allah memerintahkan semula malaikat untuk

berjumpa dengan ketiga-tiga orang cacat itu. Kali ini malaikat menyamar
sebagai peminta sedekah. Dia berjumpa dengan orang pertama yang dulunya
sopak dan meminta sedikit wang. 'Si-sopak' itu tidak menghulurkan sebarang
bantuan malah mengherdik malaikat. Malaikat berkata, "Saya rasa saya kenal
kamu. Dulu kamu sopak..dan miskin. Allah telah menolong kamu." Si-sopak
tidak mengaku. Dengan kuasa Allah, si-sopak yang sombong itu bertukar
menjadi sopak semula dan bertukar menjadi miskin.
Kemudian malaikat berjumpa dengan si-botak yang telah menjadi kaya dan
berambut lebat. Apabila malaikat meminta bantuan, si-botak juga enggan
membantu, malahan dia tidak mengaku bahawa dia dulu botak. Oleh sebab
sombong dan tidak sedar diri, Allah menjadikan kepalanya botak semula dan
bertukar menjadi miskin.
Malaikat berjumpa dengan orang buta yang telah diberikan penglihatan.
Apabila malaikat meminta bantuan, si-buta memberikan keseluruhan
hartanya dan berkata, "Ini semua harta pemberiaan Allah. Ambillah
kesemuanya. Mata saya yang kembali celik ini adalah lebih berharga daripada
kesemua harta ini." Malaikat tidak mengambil pemberian itu. Dia
memberitahu bahawa dia adalah malaikat yang pernah datang dulu.
Kedatangannya kali ini ialah untuk menguji siapa di antara mereka bertiga
yang bersyukur.
Si-buta yang bersyukur itu terus dapat menikmati kekayaan dan

penglihatannya. Manakala si-sopak dan si-botak kekal dengan keadaannya
yang asal.
MORAL & IKTIBAR
o Allah mengurniakan kesenangan dan keselesaan adalah sebagai ujian

untuk melihat siapakah di antara mereka yang bersyukur
o Manusia yang bersyukur Allah akan tambah kurniaan sebaliknya
manusia yang kufur akan diazab oleh Allah
o Manusia seringkali lupa daratan apabila diberikan kemewahan dan
kesenangan
o Sangat sedikit hamba Allah yang bersyukur
o Siapa yang tidak bersyukur kepada manusia, dia tidak akan bersyukur
kepada Allah
o Allah memberi kurnia kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya dan
menarik nikmat daripada siapa sahaja yang dikehendakiNya
Sifat syukur adalah satu sifat yang terpuji, sebaliknya kufur (kufur
nikmat) adalah sifat yang dicela oleh Allah.
SYAITAN BER'MOU' DENGAN NAFSU
Hakikat bahawa syaitan adalah musuh manusia memang telah diketahui umum.
Semua orang mengetahui bahawa syaitan adalah musuh utama mereka. Tetapi tidak
ramai mengetauhi bahawa musuh paling ketat adalah di dalam diri mereka sendiri.
Musuh itu ialah NAFSU. Nafsu jahat yang berada di dalam diri manusia menyamai
dengan 70 syaitan.
Nafsu ada dua jenis, iaitu nafsu yang baik dan jahat. Nafsu yang baik seteru syaitan
manakala nafsu jahat kawan syaitan. Oleh itu hati kita perlu dibersihkan supaya
tidak dipengaruhi oleh nafsu yang jahat.
Hati sebenarnya adalah 'rumah Allah' dalam ertikata tempat kita mengingati Allah.
Kenapa hati kita jarang mengingati Allah sama ada secara zikir lisan atau hati. Ini
tidak lain berpunca daripada pengaruh jahat Syaitan dibantu oleh musuh dalam
selimut - nafsu kita.
Lantaran perjanjian MOU antara syaitan dan nafsu untuk menjerumuskan manusia
ke dalam neraka, maka kita sering diabaikan dengan perkara-perkara lain selain
mengingati Allah. Syaitan telah bersumpah dari azali lagi untuk merosakkan seluruh
manusia.
Syaitan yang menjadi tentera Iblis sentiasa mencari peluang untuk menyesatkan
manusia. Kita tidak nampak dia tetapi syaitan nampak kita. Susah bagi kita
memerangi musuh yang kita tidak nampak. Syaitan ada di mana-mana. Bilangannya
juga banyak.
Bagaimana hendak mempertahankan diri dari serangan iblis yang kita tidak nampak.
Walaupun kita tidak nampak syaitan, tapi kita mempunyai Allah untuk meminta
perlindungan dari gangguan syaitan yang kena rejam. Syaitan takut orang yang
banyak mengingat Allah.
Oleh itu, senjata ampuh untuk melawan syaitan ialah dengan cara mengingat Allah.
JAUH DENGAN MANUSIA

DEKAT DENGAN ALLAH
"
Masa berlalu dengan cepat meninggalkan kita. 40 atau 50 tahun yang lalu kita
seorang bayi yang tidak tahu apa-apa kecuali tangisan. 15 atau 20 tahun selepas itu
kita serong remaja yang mempunyai ramai kenalan dan sahabat handai. Kemudian
kita menjadi dewasa menempuh banyak pengalaman pahit manis. Dan akhirnya kita
menjadi seorang tua yang sudah lemah anggota dan tidak setampan atau secantik
dulu. Ketika itu orang ramai sudah menjauhkan diri dari kita, bahkan anak-anak
kadangkala tidak suka bergaul atau melayan kita seperti biasa.
Inilah hakikat hidup yang dikatakan tipu daya. Tidak ada yang kekal. Paras yang
handsome tak kekal lama, akhirnya berkedut. Gigi yang penuh dan putih berseri
lama-kelamaan mula rapuh dan rongak, rambut hitam yang segar kini menjadi putih
dan lesu, deria telinga yang tajam mula berkurangan. Begitu juga tubuh yang
tampan dah mula lemah dan berpenyakit. Ingatlah amaran Allah telah tiba - bahawa
dunia akan meninggalkan kita dan kita sedang menuju alam lain iaitu alam kubur
(barzakh) dan kemudian ke alam akhirat yang abadi. Di alam inilah kita akan hidup
selama-lamanya. Kita akan tinggal di syurga atau neraka, bergantung kepada
amalan semasa hidup di dunia.
Allah bersifat dengan Rahman (Pengasih kepada semua) dan Rahim (Penyayang
khusus kepada orang mukmin). Semasa peringkat bayi, Allah tugaskan kepada ibu
bapa untuk menjaga dan membesarkan kita. Mereka mengasuh dan mendidik serta
mentarbiah dengan akhlak dan agama. Semasa remaja, kita beramal dengan ilmu
yang kita perolehi melalui usaha mereka dan juga masyarakat keliling. Ketika
dewasa, kita pula menjadi pembimbing kepada anak cucu serta orang-orang lain.
Ibarat pokok asalnya benih disirami air, kemudian membesar mengeluarkan bunga
dan akhirnya mengeluarkan buah untuk dimakan oleh manusia dan haiwan.
Tetapi apabila kita sudah tua dan tidak bermaya lagi, kita tidak begitu diperlukan.
Kita mula disisih dari orangramai. Pergerakan kita terhad. Minda kita mula merosot.
Ingatan sudah tidak begitu kuat. Kesihatan kita makin terjejas. Apakah ini menjadi
tanda bahawa Allah sudah tidak menyayangi kita lagi? Tidak sekali-kali! Malahan
kesayangan Allah tetap sama. Apabila Allah renggangkan manusia daripada kita, itu
bermakna Allah hendakkan kita mendampingi diriNya. Supaya hati kita bertambah
tertambat dan lebih bertawakkal kepadaNya saja. Penyerahan diri hanya kepada
Allah apabila manusia sudah mula renggang dari kita. Masa tua kita banyak
menyendiri dan tidak disibukkan dengan pelbagai urusan dunia. Jadi amatlah sesuai
untuk kita melipatgandakan amalan sambil bertafakkur, berzikir dan muhasabah diri
tentang amalan yang kita buat selama ini. Kita punya masa yang banyak untuk
koreksi diri dan bertaubat. Selagi nyawa belum sampai di khalqum (ghargharah),
pintu taubat masih terbuka buat kita.
Amalan kita yang biasa kita lakukan semasa muda atau ketika sihat, walaupun
sudah tidak mampu dilakukan lagi kerana sudah uzur, namun pahalanya tetap kita
perolehi meskipun kita tidak lakukan. Contohnya semasa muda, sudah menjadi
amalan atau budaya untuk bersolat jemaah atau menghadiri majlis ilmu di masjid.
Tetapi apakan daya amalan itu tidak dapat dilakukan lagi semasa tua. Sungguhpun
begitu pahala amalannya itu terus diperolehi walaupun kita tidak membuatnya.
Nabi Muhammad saw pernah berpesan supaya kita merebut 5 perkara sebelum
datang 5 perkara. Di antaranya ialah beramal ketika muda sebelum datang masa
tua. Masa muda ialah masa yang amat baik untuk beramal kerana ketika itu badan
dan jiwa kita masih kuat. Jadi apabila sudah tua, amal yang kita buat akan terus
mengalir walaupun kita tidak membuatnya. Masa muda ibarat masa menanam dan
tua ialah masa untuk kita tuai hasilnya.
Meskipun demikian kita seharusnya berdoa supaya tidak menjadi seorang tua yang
tidak sedarkan diri. Semakin tua semakin menjadi. Umur sudah menjangkau 50 tapi
masih merasakan seolah-olah masih remaja. Usia sudah tua tapi berperangai macam
orang muda. Inilah yang kita takuti kerana hati kita mudah terbalik. Nabi pernah
bersabda sekiranya umur sudah mencapai 2/3 (40 tahun) tetapi amal kejahatan
lebih banyak daripada kebajikan, maka bersiap sedialah (gulung tikar bantal) untuk
menempah tempat di neraka. Kita juga seharusnya berdoa supaya umur kita tidak
terlalu panjang sehingga menjadi nyanyuk dan kembali seperti perangai bayi yang
tidak dapat membezakan sesuatu.
"Ya Allah, kami memohon kepadaMu supaya hidupkan kami sekiranya ia baik bagi
kami. Dan Engkau matikanlah kami sekiranya ia baik bagi kami. Janganlah Engkau
tarik hidayah yang telah Engkau berikan kepada kami. Ampunilah kami di atas
kelemahan kami, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang. Ya
Allah, matikanlah kami dalam husnul-khatimah dan janganlah Engkau akhiri hidup
kami dengan suul-khatimah. Akhirkanlah lisan kami dengan kalimah Lailahaillah,
semoga Engkau masukkan kami di dalam golongan Abrar. Sepeninggalan kami
kelak, ya Allah Engkau jadikanlah anak cucu kami sebagai pewaris Nabi yang
menegakkan kalimah dan agamaMu di saat mana manusia telah banyak
melupakanMu. Akhirnya Ya Allah, berkatilah saki baki umur kami yang tinggal sedikit
ini untuk berbakti kepadaMu dan Engkau redhailah kami menjadi hambaMu. Amin ya
Rabbal Alamin...
12 Rejab 1420
JALAN KE SYURGA PENUH DURI
"
Perjalanan ke syurga dilingkungi dengan duri dan onak. Manakala jalan ke neraka
dikelilingi dengan keinginan syahwat. Demikian ditegaskan oleh Nabi Muhammad
saw. mengenai dua jalan yang ditempuhi oleh manusia.
Syurga ialah tempat kenikmatan dan kebahagiaan di akhirat yang dikurniakan

kepada hamba-hamba Allah yang beramal soleh. Neraka pula tempat azab
keseksaan disediakan untuk mereka yang beramal tholeh (kejahatan).
Untuk melayakkan diri ke syurga, seseorang itu mestilah menempuh banyak ujian
seperti melaksanakan suruhan Allah dan rasul serta menjauhi laranganNya. Kesemua
ini memerlukan semangat dan kekuatan yang bermula dari keimanan kepada Allah.
Sudah tentu untuk mengerjakan solat, puasa, haji dan amal kebajikan lain amat
payah kecuali bagi mereka yang beriman. Sebab itulah Nabi mengatakan jalan ke
syurga penuh dengan kesusahan.
Bukan mudah untuk masuk ke syurga. Kita kena bermujahadah atau berjuang
melawan nafsu untuk melakukan kebaikan. Syaitan dan nafsu memang menyuruh
kita berbuat kejahatan dan tidak menggalakkan kita melakukan kebajikan. Jika kita
turutkan kehendak syaitan sudah tentu kita tidak mampu melakukan sebarang
kebajikan.
Sebaliknya jalan ke neraka amat mudah kerana dikelilingi dengan kehendak

syahwat. Semua manusia memang cenderung mengikut kehendak nafsu dan
syahwat. Syaitan pula sentiasa mendorong manusia mengikut hawa nafsu. Amat
mudah melakukan kejahatan.
Nah, di depan kita terbentang dua jalan. Terpulang kepada kita jalan mana untuk
diikuti. Tepuk dada dan tanyakan iman - bukan tanya selera yang memang suka
kepada nafsu.
Betapa tak susah masuk syurga? Dalam satu keterangan dinyatakan: orang jahil
semuanya binasa kecuali yang berilmu. Orang berilmu semuanya binasa kecuali
yang beramal. Orang beramal semuanya binasa kecuali yang ikhlas. Untuk mencapai
darjah keikhlasan perlu banyak berjuang. Ibarat mendaki bukit yang tinggi, hanya
orang yang lasak saja berjaya sampai ke mercu.
Kebahagiaan di dunia belum menjadi pasport untuk ke syurga. Malahan adalah

menjadi kesalahan jika kekayaan yang didapati tidak diperolehi dan dibelanjakan
secara Islamik.
Semua manusia inginkan hidup senang. Kesenangan di dunia hanya sementara

manakala kesenangan akhirat kekal abadi. Orang yang bijak sudah tentu memilih
kesenangan yang hakiki bukan yang bersifat sementara. Hanya orang yang cetek
akal saja memilih kesenangan dunia dan mengenepikan kesenangan akhirat.
Syaitan selalu membisikkan kepada kita tentang amal kita yang banyak walaupun
baru sikit benar. Kita gembira apabila dipuji manusia. Timbul rasa ujub dan riak yang
memusnahkan pahala. Kita tak perasan kita sebenarnya berdosa sebaliknya
menyangka kita masih beramal soleh. Kita mesti mengawas dari serangan penyakit
batin seperti ria, ujub, bongkak, sombong, dengki yang kesemuanya merosakkan
amalan. Di sini peranan ilmu tasauf yang perlu kita pelajari dan dalami.
Perlu kita ketahui sebelum kita melakukan sebarang ketaatan, Allah sudah terlebih
dulu mendahului dan mengingati kita. Kalau Allah tak gerakkan kita untuk beramal,
kita tak akan beramal. Ini maknanya Allah mendahului kita. Jangan sangka kita yang
beramal, sebenarnya Allah menggerakkan kita beramal. Jadi soal pahala tak timbul.
Sepatutnya kita bersyukur kerana Allah gerakkan kita beramal.
Bagaimana kita mahu mendabik dada tentang amalan kita? Saidina Ali yang sudah
dijamin masuk syurga pun mengeluh kerana bimbang kurang amalan sedangkan
perjalanan ke syurga amat jauh. Saidina Ali memang terkenal dengan zuhud dan
banyaknya melakukan amal ibadat. Bagaimana dengan diri kita? Saidina Ali
Menggigil mengenangkan bekalan yang sikit untuk perjalanan ke akhirat yang jauh.
Kesimpulannya kita terpaksa mengharung kesusahan mencari ilmu akhirat serta

mengamalkannya. Kesusahan dalam hal akhirat adalah rahmat. Dengan kesusahan
ini Allah mengampun dan meninggikan darjat kita. Dunia bukan tempat bersenang-
lenang. Kesenangan hanya di akhirat. Seseorang tidak diberi pahala jika tidak
bersusah-payah menempuh dugaan dan cabaran.
Ingat sekali lagi pesanan Nabi saw "Jalan ke Syurga dikelilingi dengan kepayahan.
Jalan ke Neraka pula dikelilingi dengan nafsu dan syahwat." Oleh itu, utamakanlah
kepayahan kerana itu jalan ke syurga. Jauhilah kesenangan berbentuk nafsu
syahwat kerana itu jalan ke neraka. Wallahu 'Alam. .

Genius

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Genius

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QUOTATIONS ON GENIUS

Great men grow tired of contentedness.

Men of genius are often dull and inert in society; as the

Every great action is extreme.

However brilliant an action may be, it should not be

There are two kinds of geniuses. The characteristic of the

Where is the lightning to lick you with its tongue? Where is

Nietzsche (in Zarathustra)

Geniuses are like thunderstorms. They go against the wind,

A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.

Genius is born, not paid.

Genius borrows nobly.

Great geniuses have the shortest biographies. Their cousins

Talent, lying in the understanding, is often inherited;

Genius is not so much about new ideas as it is about clarity

It has been seen that the object of a sane upbringing is

I was a man who stood in symbolic relations to the art and

Oscar Wilde, in De Profundis

Genius is the ability to act rightly without precedent - the

The ability of someone to choose and arrange the details of

Philosophy becomes poetry and science imagination, in the

Both wit and understanding are trifles without integrity.

A man of genius is unbearable, unless he possesses at least

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor

The first and last thing required of genius is the love of

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

The poets' scrolls will outlive the monuments of stone.

Two sorts of writers possess genius: those who think, and

In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected

Genius does what it must, and Talent does what it can.

Owen Meredith Earl of Lytton

Andy Warhol is the only genius with an IQ of 60.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Oscar Wilde's response to an American customs

Genius is an infinite capacity for giving pains.

Genius learns from nature, its own nature. Talent learns

1. to believe your own thought. To believe that what is

Great genius takes shape by contact with another great

At the bidding of a Peter the Hermit millions of men hurled

Great minds are related to the brief span of time during

A man of genius makes no mistakes . His Errors are the

There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose

Antonin Artaud, of Van Gogh

There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.

It is frequently the tragedy of the great artist, as it is of the

Loren Eiseley, in "The Mind as Nature"

Genius . . . is the capacity to see ten things where the

Genius not only diagnoses the situation but supplies the

It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around

The true genius is a mind of large general powers,

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man of genius does not steal, he conquers.

The principal mark of a genius is not perfection but

Talent warms-up the given (as they say in cookery) and

It is through woman that ideality is born into the world and

Women, in general, are not attracted to art at all, nor

Camille Paglia, in Sexual Personae

There are no female geniuses because there are no female

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures

Sporadic great men come everywhere. But for a community

Genius always gives its best at first, prudence at last.

Persons of genius, and those who are most capable of art,