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Karrieann Soto
Writing 105
17 October 2012
Gender Roles in Children
Pink or blue? Truck or doll? Video games or make up? Our society has separated
childrens toys and games into male and female. What children choose to do with their free time
is a way that people define their gender. For example, when watching television you can tell that
there are certain toys directed to different genders. When watching a commercial for Barbie dolls
only girls are playing with them. Similarly, when watching a commercial for Tonka trucks you
only see boys playing with them. This is a marketing strategy, only advertising to those who
want the product. But why cant boys play with dolls and girls with trucks? Gender roles have
existed for a long time and typical gender roles are deeply ingrained into our culture. In an
entertainment magazine, there is an image of a young boy that is the focus of an Autism Speaks
advertisement, which challenges the viewers perception of gender roles. The boy is designing an
outfit on a mannequin; he has ribbons draped around his neck and a smile on his face. Some
might think is out of the ordinary, a boy choosing to participate in an activity that is usually
considered girly. While gender roles have been set into modern day American society, children
can stray from these stereotypes.
The toys we pick and the activities we participate in might indicate which gender we
associate with. It is often that you see girls playing house at a young age and assuming a

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maternal role. Boys on the other hand tend to

be more athletic, choosing to play with balls
and building blocks rather than dolls. No one
had to tell the children that boys are dads and
girls are moms, it is their biological nature to
take on those roles. I can recall as a child
being drawn toward dolls and playing house
where as my brothers tended to want to play
more masculine games. But sometimes
children dont follow these roles. Like in the
image of the young boy, children dont always necessarily choose to do activities that match the
gender roles that society has created. Hannah and Jane Katch a mother and daughter duo also
discuss the presence of gender roles in an average classroom in When Boys Wont Be Boys:
Discussing Gender with Young Children. Hannah, a gender studies student at George
Washington University states The things that we talk about as being feminine, like dresses and
make up and romantic comedies, those things are gendered as female. They do not have anything
to do with our biology; theyre things society has decided are feminine (2). But there are boys
who play with dolls and girls who would rather play with Legos than princesses. Often these
children are viewed as out of the ordinary but why? These children should be embraced for their
differences rather than thought to be out of the ordinary.
My brother is an example of a child similar to the young boy in the picture and how
children can be encouraged to pursue activities that dont follow conventional gender roles. My
younger brother was always very athletic, he played soccer, baseball, and basketball. So when he

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told my parents he wanted to take dance classes they were shocked. This isnt unusual though, as
the Katchs say No one acts only feminine or only masculine all the time (4). Believing
something similar to this my parents let him take dance anyway and he did for years. He was a
very talented dancer. My parents did let my brother follow his passion but they did on the other
hand sign me up for the same dance classes. From an age where I had no say in what activities I
wanted to participate in I was enrolled in ballet classes. This was my parents way to make their
only female child as girly as possible. This is a trend among parents, signing their children up for
sports or beauty pageants, attempting to have their children follow the gender roles set by
society. What if children have a different idea of who they wanted to be? Perhaps parents control
in childrens lives is the reason children end up getting involved in activities they wouldnt
necessarily have sought after.
Parents have a way of influencing their children to do certain stereotypical gender
activities. Maybe this is because parents fear the idea that their children might not grow up to be
societys idea of normal. Jane Katch describes her experience with a kindergartener named
Timothy who did not associate himself as a boy. She writes about her experience with the boys
mother, regarding a self-portrait that Timothy drew of himself wearing a dress. His mother says
My first thought was to protect him, He was so pleased with his picture I didnt want anyone
to laugh at it during the open house next week (4). Could this also be why in the background of
the image, though there is sewing equipment, there are also other toys including stereotypical
male toys like a teddy bear and a dinosaur? Were the young boys parents afraid that their son
wasnt playing with the average toys and bought him some to convince him to do so? The boy
seems content with his decision to play with the toys that might not be typical (sewing tools). It
is possible though that parents can assert gender roles onto their children by buying them the toys

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and games that fall under these roles. Possibly the parents had bought of the boy in the picture
had bought the dinosaur to persuade the child to play with something more stereotypical and
maybe this is why young girls play with kitchen sets and boys with Hot Wheels, simply because
their parents chose for their children to play with those toys.
This is not to say that all parents fear diversity among their children but maybe they just
fear adversity in their youngsters childhood. Bullying is an experience that no adult wants to see
their child go through, and the peers of adolescents who dont fit gender roles may be mocked
and tormented for their differences. The boy in the image is probably too young for to be
mocked, but I cant help but think about the future of the boy. Often times, we hear horror stories
from middle school and high school, from children being bullied for not partaking in typical
gender activities. School hallways are filled with hateful names like fag and pussy. Peers can
be harsh when they notice something about another is outside their idea of normal. Even for
young Timothy in When Boys Wont be Boys, girls in his class pick on him and tell him not to
play with them because he acts like a boy and is never going to be a girl (5). Stories of bullying
are examples of what parents fear most when it comes to their children. And rightly so, it is not
uncommon anymore to see children targeted for their differences. Like Tyler Clementi in A
Story of A Suicide, teens have been taking their lives due to this bullying. Maybe parents are only
trying to protect their children by having them follow strict gender roles.
This could be a reason why parents try to make their children take on the roles society
has created. Another thing some parents may fear is that just because their child doesnt accept
gender roles as the public has created means that their child is homosexual. My favorite uncle is
an example of this. According to my mother, she knew my uncle was gay since he was four years
old. He would come home from school and change his outfit because he had school outfits and

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home outfits. Maybe like the boy in the image he would have loved to fashion design or maybe
he would have been like Timothy and liked to play with dolls or dress up. But instead of letting
him embrace his differences, my grandfather tried to change my uncle. My grandpa made him
play with cars and when he got older my uncle was told to learn to work with cars. When my
uncle was in his twenties he came out to my grandparents, and as they had when he was younger
they refused to accept this. Imaginably, if my uncle was allowed to play as he wanted as a child
he could be a whole different person, but nothing my grandfather did to man him up worked.
Does this mean parents should have no influence at all in their childrens lives when it
comes to the activities they choose? Parents do everything from pick out clothes, toys, and the
activities these children should do. It is the tradition of these gender roles that parents pass upon
to their children. Like the idea of baby showers, people only buy pink or blue depending on the
sex of the child. If parental influence is taken away, in the areas of gender stereotypes, would
children be less inclined to follow the traditions of gender? Perhaps the boy in the image has
parents who let him do as he pleased when it came to activities. Maybe they let him pick out his
own clothes, shop for his own toys, and decide his own persona. When Timothys self-portrait,
of himself as a girl, is put up in the classroom for open house his mother is excited. She is as
pleased as I am that he could make his own decision and feel good about it (4). Timothys
mother is a good example of a mother allowing her child to break down the gender stereotype.
The pride Timothy takes in his picture and even the quote on the image The odds of a child
becoming the next Tommy Hilfiger 1 in 23 million (Autism Speaks, 65), makes me wonder
why we havent broken down these walls that divide gender. If a boy can be proud to wear a
fairy princess outfit and another boy can grow up to be an incredible fashion designer, why cant

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all boys do these things? Maybe gender roles are outdated and as the division of gender becomes
less pronounced should the division be eliminated entirely.
What if there were no traditional gender roles as children grew up? Would masculinity
and femininity be found in both sexes? Could the young boy in this image, stepping out of the
stereotype, be paving the way for society? Maybe breaking down the gender mold would solve
some of our societal problems. Like the idea that women are less competitive and receive less
pay than men for the same amount of work. Or homophobia. Or since men are responsible for
most of the violent crime in the country, maybe being more feminine stop this, could playing
with dolls at a young age create a nurturing characteristic in someone that would last a life time?
Maybe it could simply change the idea that women are supposed to cook and clean. Sometimes it
amazes me how often I hear a women need to be in the kitchen joke. As Hannah Katch says
In the last few decades, I tell her, overt sexism has become politically incorrect. But that doesnt
mean it does not exist it just means that it is more subtle (5). Maybe breaking down these
gender stereotypes would completely change our society.
Though gender roles have become an out dated part of our culture, I dont believe they
will ever be change. It would take each generation of parents to allow their child to pick out what
games, activities, and toys their children want to play with or participate in, then maybe
eventually the gender gap would begin to close but there will always be a separation between the
too. Maybe the gender roles have existed for too long to ever be completely gone from our
society. The young boy in the picture is an example of how parents can allow their children to
express themselves and perhaps if each generation has more children like the one in the image
then the stereotypes of gender can stop being such a large part of childrens lives and society can
stop being judgmental of those who chose to stray from tradition. As Katch says If they can see

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no one lives exactly inside the rigid lines of gender, maybe a kid like Timothy will be able to
play princess without worrying about the reactions of his classmates (6). But this might never
happen, these lines on gender arent going to be easily erased it will take time and effort to try
and make society understand that the roles are unnecessary.
Though gender roles are a consistent and traditional part of the American culture
sometimes children wandering from these guidelines and should be encouraged to do so. These
gender roles are typically followed by children but sometimes they are not. And parents should
not try to make their children fit the stereotypes, but rather follow their own passions, whatever
they are. Maybe someday our society can change to be more accepting of everyone no matter
which toy or activity they chose to do. But until then the least parents can do is allow their
children to decide whether they want to wear pink or blue. Play with a doll or a truck. Or play
with video games or make up.

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Works Cited
Autism Speaks. Advertisement. Entertainment Weekly 22 June 2012: 65. Print.
Katch, Hannah, and Jane Katch. "When Boy's Won't Be Boys: Discussing Gender with Young
Children." Harvard Educational Review (2010): n. pag. ProQuest 5000. Web. 15 Oct.
2012.