1.

ACTO I
BOSS

EMPLOYEE

SUPPORTING
HOST

Cena 1
Boss-Vasco; Employee-Matilde; Supporting-Bia;
Host-Carolina
(A pea consiste em comdia exagerada
e pouco realista. Estam presentes Bia,
Carolina e Vasco. Matilde est do lado
de fora. A cena comea:)
CAROLINA:
(sendo o Apresentador necessita de confiana e
atitude de estrela) These are the stories, Few have
ever known, Beautiful tales, No one has ever told, So
here are some, For your own entertainment, Please
Welcome, Bad Workplace Situations:
BIA:
(preocupada) Wait, Wait, We are not ready yet
VASCO:
(zangado) Man, that bitchs gonna see what she gets
(Matilde entra e traz uma mala,
lancheira e telmovel. Vem a falar ao
telemovel despreocupada e nem sequer
repara que chamou a ateno de todos
os personagens por ter chegado tarde)
MATILDE:
(Despreocupada, naturalmente sem retirar o telemovel
do ouvido e sem olhar para ningum) Hi there, sorry I
was late, I missed the bus (senta-se e comea a comer
algo da sua lancheira) Oh god! I forgot to bring
dessert! (Levanta-se e sai apressadamente)
VASCO:
(j ouviu demais e encontra-se furioso) What do you
mean by dessert? You are not even supposed to eat in
here, This is not a freaking coffee shop! And where
are you going? You just got here, and you were
late... Youre fired!
Cena 2
Boss-Carolina; Employee-Bia; Supporting-Vasco;
Host-Matilde
MATILDE:
(Volta a entrar e toma a posio de Apresentador.
Enquanto termina a cena anterior personagens trocam
de lugares e preparam-se para a prxima cena) So here
is a lesson, that I should have learned, If you are
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

MATILDE: (contd)
late dont even show up, oh, and hide yourself to eat
luch...
VASCO:
(entra na sala, Bia est de costas para a sua cadeira
e ele senta-se fazendo excessivo barulho
propositadamente)
BIA:
(vira-se calmamente com um sorriso phyco, prolongando
a sua deixa) Hi!
VASCO:
(acha esquesito) Ok, Im having headaches and blah
blah blah (continua indefinidamente a sua deixa)
BIA:
(interrompe) Soooo, (isto faz Vasco calar-se) have
you seen the game last night?
VASCO:
(confuso) Say What? (explica) I just need some pills
BIA:
(pensando que ele est s a brincar) I understand
that you wanna talk about the game but Ive got no
time to chat (vira-se e comea a folhear uma revista)
CAROLINA:
(entra, incrdula) Whats going on here? (Entretanto
Vasco sai ofendido pela atitude de Bia)
BIA:
(sem levantar os olhos da revista, numa voz calma) I
cant talk about the game right now
CAROLINA:
Well Im here to talk about the dress code. I mean,
have nothing against it personally but people have
been saying..
BIA:
(interrompe, levantando os olhos da revista) I know
right? I guess some people werent born with a
fashion sense (arranja o cabelo com a mo ou faz
qualquer outro gesto que sugira que decididamente ela
est bem vestida) But dont listen to them, you dont
look that bad. (d uma olhadela roupa da chefe)
Well maybe you cant try something different I dont
know
CAROLINA:
(com ar de poucos amigos) Its about you.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

BIA:
(incrdula) Say what?
MATILDE:
(irnica) You may call it fashion, you may call it
stye, Maybe you are just yourself, like, who cares
about being nice?, But if your boss doenst like you,
there is one thing you can try, Quit being you, even
if you think youre alright, And be a fake perfect
person, that everyone will like...
Cena 3
(Boss-Matilde, Employee-Carolina, Supporting- Vasco e Bia,
Host- Bia e Vasco)
Bia e Carolina estam sentadas a 3/4 e 1/4 quase
frente a frente no extremo direito (a
perspectiva de frente para o pblico) como se
estivessem numa mesa de um caf a fingir que
conversam. A Carolina est a falar ao telefone
ao mesmo tempo que conversa. Vasco est na
extrema esquerda com uma esfegona a fazer
movimentos esquisitos de dana enquanto ouve
musica nos phones de ouvido)
CAROLINA:
(ao telefone, intressada na conversa) Blah Blah Blah,
Hold on (retira o telmovel do ouvido e fala com Bia)
I dont know why people dont like to work, this is
actually fun (volta ao telefone)
MATILDE:
(entra, surpreende-se e grita com Bia) Arent you
suppossed to be working?
BIA:
(frizando o sobrolho literalmente ou enfticamente) I
dont work for you
CAROLINA:
Ugh Hold on (retira o telefone do ouvido) Boss, no
one ever told you its rude to interrupt people?
MATILDE:
(Perdendo o controle, fala como uma diva, inspira
dramaticamente) How dare you? I dont need you,
(grita, Carolina e Bia levantam-se e aprontam-se para
sair e finalmente Vasco entende que estam pessoas a
discutir) I dont need any of you. You can all pack
your things and leave now!
BIA:
(assume a posio de apresentador) You
see(referindo-se ao que acabou de acontecer, e comea
a rima) Not all jobs are bad in the end of the day,
You just have to relax a bit, and take them the right
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

BIA: (contd)
way. But Ill tell ya, I dont think your boss will
agree, So just prentend that you are working, well at
least when hes near.
VASCO:
(como apresentador) So we hope that you liked it, and
decide to become prudent, And I guess you should
thank us, Cause we gave you good solutions. And to
all of you who bear it till the last part, You are
probably asleep, but if not you deserve a round of
applause