"They have seen false visions and lying divinations.

They say, Declares the Lord, when the Lord has not sent them" Ezekiel 13:6 (The Bible

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VOLUME FOUR

I S S U E 15

0 4 . 0 9 .15

2015
Kaninchen
Schlag!
S p or ts , P ag e 6

Hatchet Job Loses Prophet | Wurst of the Wurst "Winners" | Colby on Rand Paul

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contents

1st Word

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"Prophet" meets heat,

leaves kitchen.

Don't read this while you're

eating. Or if you plan on
eating in the future.

STAFF / CONTACT
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Director of Distribution Chase Cochran
Art Director Kayla Wallace
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Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

The 2015 Bunny Thwack

All original content is copyright

TX Citizen. TX Citizen is published
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ST

Self-Proclaimed
Prophet Requests
TXC Revise History

WITH

MIKE
REYNOLDS

If youve been keeping track

of the local doings, you know
that a Christian production
company has plans to come to
town over Memorial Day weekend
to save us from ourselves through the power
of reality television.
Producer Jay Hix Jones intends to show
how the rivers here are:
South Padre, Daytona, and Cancun
combined and then multiplied by Vegas and
Ibiza, and that furthermore, the cases of
rapes, violence, indecent exposure, arrests,
fights, accident, etc etc increase ten fold
during the Holiday Weekend. TEN FOLD!
And as if THAT werent bad enough, As we
all know, there is a party culture on the river
especially during Memorial Day, and with this
culture brings an increase in fights, arrests,
rapes, deaths, public intoxication, indecent
exposure, accidents, trash on the river etc etc
etc the list goes on and on. Yeah. As we all
know. We all know all of that. Its why we
lock ourselves in our homes all summer long.
Take a good look at the above quotes.
And remember that Hix Jones runs a Christian
production company as if businesses can
relate to an Almighty. And then remember
that when religion and media hook up, lies
are certain to follow. I started my career in
evangelical media, and I know that the people
that work in the Jesus-Industrial Complex often
consider ethical standards to be something
that other people are subject to. Honesty
is for the unsaved, or The World, as the JIC
calls those not part of the Complex. Theyve
got bigger things to worry about, and cant
be constrained by rules created to keep the
average worldly person in line.
Let me be very clear: Most Christians
do not work in the Jesus-Industrial Complex.
So given a choice between two Christian
plumbers, always hire the one that doesnt
have a fish in their ad. The fish is a flashing
red sign that announces I dont have
to earn your trust, and Ill find a way
TXCITIZEN.COM

to abuse it. Hix Jones has

embraced that convention.
Except for what youve
seen in the pages of the TXC,
Hix Jones claims have gone
unchallenged by the media.
Local coverage, from the San
Antonio Express-News, to the
Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung, to
KGNB radio has been positive. So imagine
my surprise when I got an email from Dr
Luke Holter, a man who markets himself as a
prophet, refers to himself as St Luke on his
website, and was slated to evangelize on
the rivers as part of the production in hopes
of taking credit for changing our notorious,
violent river culture (what with all the rapes and
stuff) backing out of the project, and blaming
the media for the move. Ill get to his email in a
moment. Theres something I have to show you
first in order for this all to make sense.
Heres how Holters participation was
publicized in the productions press release:
FLOAT follows Jones, Grammy Award
Winner Pastor Billy Dorsey and Best Selling
Author Dr. Luke Holter as they immerse
themselves into the local river party culture.
Together the team investigates how the river
party phenomenon began, so that they may
effectively infiltrate & influence it using their
unique spiritual gifts.
Ooh. Infiltrate. Sounds dramatic.
Going into dangerous territory. A job for the
bold, one might say.
Anyway, now that you know Dr Holters
originally intended role in the project, heres
what I got from him last Friday:
______________________________
Hey MikeCould you remove my name from the
FLOAT movie article you wrote? I am in no
way associated with the film and have dealt
with this on a lot of levels to try to correct.
Please advise when my name has been removed
from the write up.
Kind Regards,
Luke Holter
______________________________
Continued on page 5.

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child and drank beEr like a colLege student on spring
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part of the town now, so I'lL be checking the mail for
my badge and certificate of New Braunfels
authenticity. However, time has taught me that
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County Shigellosis Rate

Outpacing 2014
Seven cases of the relatively rare but highly
contagious stomach illness were reported in
Comal County in February.
The stomach ailments were the result of
shigellosis, a bacterial illness that is caused by
contact to feces from those infected by Shigella
bacteria. While usually resistant to antibiotics,
shigellosis usually runs its course in 5-7 days.
Where the cases originated from is
unknown and a call to the Comal County
Health Department was not returned by
deadline. Reports of infectious diseases
come to the county through physician offices,
hospitals, medical laboratories and those
who visit the Health Department.
Cases of Shigellosis in the United States
usually come from schools or day care centers.
While dysentery is the diseases worst form, it
is almost unheard of in the United States.
Shigellosis is an uncommon bacterial
illness. There were 15 cases of the disease in
Comal County for all of last year, all of which
came in the three months between OctoberDecember. There was only one reported case
in 2013 and just three in 2012. Nationally,
there are only 4.82 reported cases per
100,000 annually, about 500,000 people,
according the Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention (CDC).
Statewide, there are usually 2,0003,000 reported cases annually, according
to the Texas Department of State Health
Services. Mostly resistant to antibiotics, the
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In

persons

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The department advises Pepto-Bismol,

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Anyone around the infected person should
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Symptoms of shigellosis include: diarrhea
(sometimes bloody), fever, abdominal pain
and tenesmus, which is a painful sensation
of needing to pass stools even when bowels
are empty, according to the CDC.
The problem with shigellosis is that it can
spread easily.
Shigella germs are present in the stools
of infected persons while they have diarrhea
and for up to a week or two after the diarrhea
has gone away, the CDC says. Shigella
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tiny amount of contaminated fecal matter
too small to see can cause infection.
Transmission of Shigella occurs when people
put something in their mouths or swallow
something that has come into contact with
stool of a person infected with Shigella.
Ways in the which the bacteria can be
passed is through changing the diapers of
infected children, eating infected food, produce
that has come in contact with sewage (even
flies can spread it to produce), swallowing lake
or river water, and through sexual contact.
The best way to stop the spread of the
bacteria is primarily through washing hands,
according to the CDC, which you should do
before eating and after changing a diaper.
If you care for a child in diapers who
has shigellosis, promptly discard the soiled
diapers in a lidded, lined garbage can,
and wash your hands and the childs hands
carefully with soap and water immediately
after changing the diapers, the CDC warns.
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Again, why
Continued from page 3.
That struck me as weird. First of all, we
cant go back and remove his name from the
10,000 copies of the paper mentioning his
connection to the project that were already
printed. Thats impossible. A man would
need supernatural powers to pull that off. I
didnt bust his chops over that, as I wanted
the conversation to continue.
He didnt say No longer associated
with the film, he said In no way associated
with the film. Was he ever a part of the
production? Did Hix Jones use his name
without permission? What the WHAT?
So I sent this in response. Had to clear
up that ambiguity before moving forward:
______________________________
Hi Luke,
Id be happy to publish an update in next
weeks issue. Why did you bow out of the project? It
seemed to have momentum o plenty.
Mike
______________________________
Thank you Mike. Im not really a
momentum guy :) Im an ex-drug addict &
punk rocker who is just trying to enjoy his
family and friends. Im built for different
things is all.
Again thank you for removing my name
from your site.
Kind Regards,

did

you

decide

against

participating in the production?

Thanks,
Mike
______________________________
Thank you Mike I understand the
clarification. I told you why in the previous
email. Thank you for your assistance with this.
Kind Regards,
Luke Holter
______________________________
Ok, so I had the answer I was digging
for - verification that he had been involved
in the project for realsies - but he was
dodging the other one, the why behind
his quitting. So I pressed:
______________________________

The incredible irony of you stating that youre

not willing to deal with the stress of a ministry
project, and making that statement on Good Friday,
is not lost on me. Id say you nailed it.
Mike
______________________________
And then the whole truth came out:
______________________________
Its the stress of the media not the ministry
Im still doing ministry.
______________________________
JACKPOT. Luke got cold feet because,

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for probably the first time ever, he came

up against resistance from a media outlet.
Holter isnt a shy man and it doesnt look

Hi Luke,

like he passes up many chances to promote

You mentioned that you beat drug addiction

himself. Accountability was a knockin, and

and (presumably) punk rock, but Im looking these guys dont work in anything other than
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different things is all. Youre making an effort to press. Heres what we know for sure: It wasnt
remove your name from past associations with the the Express News, the HZ or KGNB that
project. Im under no obligation to print an update, chased him off.
but will do so as a courtesy - if you tell me why
Anyway, heres the real end of the
youre disassociating yourself from the production. conversation. Extra snarky:
Thank you,

Mike
______________________________
Lol I didnt kick punk rock I kicked a drug
addiction I still love punk rock music.
The reason I pulled out is because I had
a dream that told me I should pull out of the
film. I pay attention to my dreams and I think
Luke Holter
the dream was just telling me that it would be
______________________________
Aha. Ok, so he didnt expect me to more stress than Im willing to deal with in my
change the print copies, he just wanted me personal life.
Kind Regards,
go back and rewrite the digital versions of
Luke Holter
already published articles to remove any
______________________________
trace of his connection to the project.
Ok, fair enough. But this was Good
I would have considered doing that
Friday, and the idea of a minister bailing on a
(with a note stating that he had been wrongly
high profile evangelical endeavor due to stress
announced by Hix Jones) if he were fraudulently
struck me as ironic as heck, considering what
included in the production companys statements happened to the Jesus, the guy he presumably
to the press, so I had to know if he was ever works for, on the same day a few years back.
legitimately tied to the project. Off this went:
Very stressful. (See Mark 15:21-41, Luke
______________________________
23:26-43, Matthew 27:32-56, John 19:17-37
Hi Luke,
The Bible)
To clarify, were not going to remove your
At this point I had the answers I was looking
name from the previous pieces on txcitizen.com,
for, so it was time to throw down the snark and
as you were attached to the project at the time the
wrap up the conversation. The conversation
stories were published, but I will print an update
always stops after the snark. Usually:
citing your current status.
______________________________
TXCITIZEN.COM

Thank you.

______________________________
Luke,
You market yourself as a prophet. Im shocked
you didnt see this coming.
______________________________
Oh ok I see. Well thanks anyways mike.
Kind Regards,

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Luke Holter
______________________________
Say what you will about the man,
despite his shortcomings in the Grammar and
Punctuation Department, hes very polite. I am
a wee bit creeped out by Oh ok I see. What
exactly does he see? OH MY LORD WHAT IF
HE CAN SEE ME RIGHT NOW?
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
Postscript: We did contact Jay Hicks
Jones for his comment on Holters withdrawal
from the project. As one might expect, we
have not heard back.

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2015
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DJ KC
Fridays

The Watering Hole Saloon

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W U RST

Compiled By Tony Bell

In its annual Best of the Wurst poll, the TX Citizen strives to bring attention to those who are
the best in their fields, those businesses who strive for the exceptional. However, we believe
it is equally important to highlight the businesses that claw their way to the bottom, those
who have a single-minded determination to be the absolute worst of New Braunfels.

See next week's issue for 2015's Best of the Wurst Results!
Worst Themed Restaurants

Jonestown
Lord Alfred's Taste of England (Now with more blood!)
ISILs Infidel Kabobs
Flogging and Humiliation Meat House
Hillbilly Love Shack

Worst Lingerie Stores

Sweaty OTooles
Hirsutes
Second Chance Thongs for Men
The Naughty Barn

Worst Medical Clinics

Dr. Eugene Strap: Urology Clinic and Coffee Haus

Charles The Hammer Martels College of Medieval Medicine
One Limb for Another Bartering Hospital
You Dont Need Teeth Emergency Dentistry
Dr. Ferris Confidential Clinic
(Motto: How did you even get that in there?)

Worst Amusement Centers

Contusions
The Ground is Hard
Maybe Parachutes
Its a Slaughterhouse
Rat World

Worst Places of Worship

St. Leos of Creepy Perversions
Hate Mosque
The Church of Scientology

Worst Parks for the Kiddies

Mrs. Ladybugs Playground of Mud, Broken Glass and Nails

Ant Town
Fort Fun (Formerly Fort Bryant Munitions Disposal Base)
Deranged Hobo Choo Choo Camp
Climb Our Big Ol Mayor

Worst Places to Experience History

Mostly Buried City Cemetery
Typhoid Village
John Wesley Hardin Shoots You
Toast Museum
Out-of-Date Middle School Textbook Library
TXCITIZEN.COM

Worst Places to Strap on the Feedbag

Everything Has Mayonnaise
House of Suspicious Pies
Likely Food
Eggs and Haggis
Footers

Worst Locally Brewed Beer/Ale

Labor Day (made from old work boots)
Old Yeller (processed cheese food)
Ah Caramba! (tamales)
Dr. Feelgood (expired medicines)
Two for $1 (convenience store hotdogs)

Best Damn Lunch Special

in New Braunfels!
12-4 Monday-Friday
$6.99 Lunch Specials
Specials Include Drink and Side

EAT ME.
3rd Annual

Crawfish Boil
Sunday April 26

2PM-Till we eat 'em all

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223 W San Antonio St, Downtown New Braunfels

Worst Places to Buy Groceries

O.C. McFamines
Alberts Other Son, the Psychotic One
Boogers
Irregular MREs
Mystery Cans

Worst Places to Stay Overnight

The Screaming Headless Maiden
Fire Codes Are For Sissies
Barricade Your Door
Wolves and Raccoons

Worst River Outfitters

Drown Town
Tubes Are For Sissies
Whatever Floats
You Know How To Swim, Right?
The Trunk of Marios Buick

Worst Places to Get an Education

Machiavelli High School
Stalin Elementary School
Learnin Is For Sissies Academy
Bully Junior High School
Defrocked Priest Private School

Worst Travel Agents

CELEBRATE CINCO DE MAYO

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11

MOS T WAN T ED
DAVIS,
MICHELE COX

MEDINA,
YOLANDA

Female 507 150 lbs Female 505 150 lbs

DOB: 06/15/1963
DOB: 07/05/1951
CHARGE: Motion to
CHARGE: Ttheft of
proceed with
property over $1500
adjudication for theft
of service over
under $20k
$1500 under $20k

HEDGECOCK,
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
WILLIAM
TROY

MELENDEZ,
VANESSA

Male 507 200 lbs

Male
507 143 lbs Female 504 130 lbs
DOB:01/01/1976
DOB:
05/10/1977
CHARGE:
Possession
DOB: 06/04/1981
of a controlled
CHARGE:
Failure to
CHARGE: Motion to
substance pg 1 under
appear
for evading
revoke probation for
1 gram and
theft of
arrest
or
detention
property under
$1500
manufacture/ deliver
or more
with 2vehicle
controlled substance
previous convictions

HELSTROM,
SOREN MCKEE
Male 601 208 lbs
DOB: 05/14/1984
CHARGE:
Possession of
controlled substance

LOPEZ,
ERIC

PITTMAN,
ALFRED
Male 510 182 lbs
DOB: 08/18/1984
CHARGE: Assault
family member

VOILS, DEBORAH
LEANN

Female 507 140 lbs

Male 509 180 lbs
DOB: 05/21/1987
DOB: 11/30/1994
CHARGE: Motion to
CHARGE: Intoxicated proceed with adjudicaassault w/vehicle and
tion for fraud deliver
aggravated assault
controlled substance/
w/deadly weapon
prescription

MECKEL,
LINDA GAYE

ZAPATA,
BEATRICE

Female 505 160 lbs Female 505 250 lbs

DOB: 11/27/1963
DOB: 07/29/1981
CHARGE: Motion to
CHARGE: Three
revoke probation for
counts interfere with
possession of
child custody
controlled substance

$300
REWARD

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, April 6, 2015 at 3:41 p.m. and may not be current by the time it is read.
Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriffs
Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to
making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

12

COMAL COUNTYS

ASK A MEXICAN!

By Gustavo Arellano systemic or structural racism analyses is par

for the course. Then you get what happened
Dear Mexican: Im a 23-year-old to you. A sudden flood of cold, hard facts
Latina attending a Texas university. Im connected with theories of racismthen
taking a class that is centered around BAM! You are forever aware of the nature of
Latino culture and history. Im a first social inequality in the United States.
You see how unfair and obscene
generation Tex-Mex kid, and lately all
of the documentaries and other course racism is. Racismand not individual
work have been making me feel some prejudice or bigotry but an embedded system
type of way angry/sad/and overall of exclusion and denigrationis a profoundly
ridiculous and irrational system. Whether
confused, for lack of better phrasing.
I dont know how to handle these you are learning about the Mendez, et al.
feelings, and it is making me be vs Westminster case or the Felix Longoria
more introspective about the Latino/ affair and all within the short confines
Mexican part of my identityas if I of a quarter or semestereven the most
didnt already have enough issues complacent coconuts are overwhelmed and
there. I dont want to overthink it, and bothered! The rage is famously captured by
I dont want to always wonder how the quintessential Chicano movement poem
people perceive me because of my I am/Yo soy Joaquin written by Rodolfo
background. But I dont know how to Corky Gonzales.
feel about what I am learning and if its
So my little brown Aztec volcano: your
okay what I am feeling. Did you ever go pending explosion within the classroom is
through something like this identity nothing new. Just remember: use your new
crisis type thing? And any advice on knowledge to heal, not to hate
how to feel/handle it?
Awesome job, profe jefe! Just one more
Down in Denton
thing Ill add: while its okay to feel angry,
never let the other side get the better of your
Dear Mujer: Was I ever confused about anger, as Ill show with the next question
my ethnic identity? Absolutelytell your
Chicano Studies professor to assign Orange
Dear Mexican: Does your cesspool
County: A Personal History to ustedes, and homeland of Mexico allow illegals to
youll get the carne asada of the matter. But break the law and sneak in??? Hell
your situation deserves a more insightful nobut I guess its okay for the USA
perspective than mine, so I turn the columna to allow it for you and your deadbeat
over to one of my bosses: Alexandro Jos wetback cousins. Go #### yourself, and
Gradilla, chair of the Department of Chicana I am sure that this is not the first time
and Chicano Studies at Cal State Fullerton, youve heard that from a fed-up USA
taxpayer who is sick of you parasite
where Im an adjunct-at-large.
Dear Iztacchuat, you are experiencing moochers from down South. Clean up
Chicano Studies Rage 101, Gradilla writes. your land if you want a good life. Dont
Here is a synopsis of why you are ride our coattails, you damn losers.
Klein in Van Nuys
feeling the way you do. After over decade
in a K-12 school system that never really
Dear Gabacho: Parasitic moochers
broached or addressed issues of institutional
riding
coattails? Olla: meet hervidor. Or, in
racism, most students of color coming out of
English:
cant wait for your beautiful brown
high school would probably answer no if
grandchildren
to take Chicano Studies 101!
asked Have you ever experienced racism?
Here is the double problem. Most students
have not learned anything about their group.
More importantly, they have not been taught
about institutional racism. So taking a college
level history or sociology courseor, as you
experiencedan ethnic studies class where

Ask the Mexican at

themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
AD SALES 830.358.2493

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13

Last Word
With Kelly Colby

On Rand Paul
Rand Paul has officially announced for the
Republican primary for President of the United
States. I couldnt be happier, but Im not offering
my support for him just yet. I do think he will be
an excellent opportunity for people to see how
libertarian ideas might be combined with a
serious candidate, though. Part of my personal
concern over Paul is the likelihood that he
will not follow the libertarian line as closely
as I would, but thats the very thing that will
make him a viable candidate. Republicans,
Democrats, and [L]ibertarians should probably
keep their eyes on his candidacy.
For Republicans, Rand Paul has
moderated some of the most troubling (to
Republicans anyway) of libertarian ideas.
The most obvious area where this has
happened is foreign policy. Paul has actively
moved away from isolationist stances in an
effort to court Republicans. Paul is hardly
a warmonger, but he does appear to be
accepting a more active role for America
in world affairs than the typical libertarian,
and he seems to be open to the typically
Republican idea of a strong military.
Paul has also spent his time in the Senate
building alliances with traditional, even
establishment, Republicans. This is a reverse
of Ted Cruz, who seems to have been trying
to create conflict. Again Pauls stance is less
than the libertarian norm. Libertarians are
often tied so much to principle and ideology
that they seem incapable of working with
others. Politics, though, is about compromise,
and it looks like Paul has been trying to
show that he can work and play with others.
This can be a balancing act. Paul has Tea
Party roots and many in the Tea Party feel
that they have been betrayed by deal
makers repeatedly, but if he can show that
he is capable of bringing together disparate
factions to get things done, he will have
proven the value of a little flexibility.
Perhaps more important than even
winning the Republican nomination would be
Paul showing Republicans a way to reach out
to constituencies that they have had very little
success with in the past. Paul has already shown
14

that he has appeal to a younger voter, and he

may also be a candidate that is more palatable
to minorities. Republicans need to broaden their
appeal if they want to continue to be viable
with a changing American demographic. Pauls
ideas may be good ones to co-opt moving into
the future for Republican candidates.
Rand Pauls candidacy might be even more
important for Democrats than Republicans.
Hard line and hard left Democrats will have
nothing in common with Paul (they are typically
hostile to any support of economic liberty), but
people who lean Democrat may see in Paul
something that is sorely missing in their own
party. Pauls stances on Ferguson and on the
surveillance state have angered some of his
traditional allies, but they are really just part of
a larger civil libertarian streak.
On Ferguson, Paul may not accept the
entire narrative, but he seems very supportive of
the overall notion of a too-heavy-handed police
force, particularly in minority communities.
Both sides of the aisle might try to misconstrue
this, but if Paul is careful in his explanations,
he might win over large groups of voters and
make his detractors seem unreasonable.
Theres no question that poor, minority
communities feel as though they are under
siege. Certainly there is a crime problem in
inner-city neighborhoods, but often, the police
make matters worse by making day-to-day life
unlivable for people within the community.
Treating everyone as a criminal creates
a level of ill will that can stand for years.
Changes in policing policy that move away
from minor issues and revenue generation in
favor of protecting people from violent crime
more vigorously might change the dynamic.
The surveillance state is an area where
Democrats might find themselves more in
line with Pauls thinking than with their own
candidates. After eight years of the Obama
administration, it seems that Democrats are
no more trustworthy on civil liberties than
Republicans are. A good number of Democrats
have ignored this for partisan reasons, but
many have not. Of all the candidates we see
in the 2016 Presidential race, Paul may be
the only one who takes this issue seriously.

Paul may have Democrats asking

themselves how different their party has
been from Republicans on major issues.
Economics arent everything, and Paul may
appear more liberal than Hillary Clinton in a
good number of areas.
I really hope that Libertarians (and
libertarians) keep an eye on Rand Paul. It will
be easy for them to dismiss Paul as just another
traitor to the cause, but this attitude reflects a
traditional problem with the Libertarian Party.
Like most people with libertarian
proclivities, I find that Libertarian Party
candidates almost always represent my
beliefs better than Republicans or Democrats.
Of course, that doesnt make much difference
if I am going to be stuck with the Republican
or Democrat candidate anyway, and I most
certainly will when the Libertarian candidate
loses. Its enough to make a libertarian bitter,
and it frequently does.
The Tea Party Movement saw a change
in this. Libertarians, many already voting
outside of the party, decided that it might be
better to try to move winning candidates into
more libertarian positions than to try to elect
Libertarians. To do this, requires that these
libertarians accept half a loaf and deal with
political realities. (This is the flip-side of what I
discussed regarding Republicans.) Its a hard
lesson, but some of us are learning it. Rand
Paul is at the forefront of those who seem to
understand how this will have to work. He
will not be able to have a perfectly libertarian
perspective on every issue, but he may be able
to move the Republican Party in a direction that
makes libertarians more happy to be there.
Its too early to know if Rand Paul will have
any serious chance in this Republican primary.
Its even too early for me to say I will support
him, though I suspect I will. It isnt too early to
give him a look, though. If nothing else, Pauls
campaign will be different from the traditional
Republican field. I hope he doesnt disappoint.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.

blogspot.com.

Est. 1986
Dust off your dancing shoes and head
over to NBs largest dance floor.

FREE April
Dance Lessons
Salsa/Merengue
Every Friday 7pm-8pm
Followed by Live Music

Sat: DJ Dance @ 9pm

Sun: Happy Hour ALL Day
Mon: FREE DARTS
Tues: LIVE MUSIC @ 7pm
Wed: LADIES NIGHT
Free Pool & Jukebox
Thurs: KARAOKE
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels
830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com
Like us on FB Watering Hole Saloon & Dancehall

HAPPY COW
B A R

&

G R I L L

Thursday
Cow-E-Oke

Friday

Three Cord Rodeo

Saturday
Armadillo Road

Sunday

T-Bone and
The Blue Tones
Kitchen Hours

11-2 & 5:30-10pm Mon-Thurs

11-10pm Fri-Sun
9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
happycowhuntertx.com

TX CITIZEN
AD SALES 830.358.2493

THIS IS YOUR SAMPLE BALLOT

Tear it out, take it with you!

Voting Ends at 11:59pm on Thursday, April 9!

Full Ballot at txcitizen.ROCKS

Best Classic Cheeseburger

Happy Cow
Phoenix Saloon
Spud Ranch
Lone Star Float House
Pats Place
Union Street Station
Landa Station
Bosses Pizza
Freiheit Country Store
Iron Horse
Old River City Cafe

Best Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Pats Place
Fork and Spoon
Gourmage of Texas
Cravings
Landa Station
Union Street Station
Old River City Cafe

Best Classic Cheese Enchiladas

Adobe Verde
Taco Palenque
El Nopolito
Las Palapas
San Juanita's Taqueria
Taqueria El Sazon Tapatio
Adobe Caf
Hannas Kitchen
Marinas Mexican Cantina
El Tapatio
NB Tortillaria
Cancun Mexican Restaurant
Taqueria Guadalajara
Herberts Taco Hut
El Tamarindo
Los Gallos

Best Indie Classic Cheese Pizza

Bosses
Calahans
New York Pizza Pub
Figlios
Infernos
Dis Homemade
Hwy 46 Pizza

Best Cheese-Based Pastry

Kora Koras Bacon Cheddar Roll
Naegelins Cheese Pocket
NB Coffee Companys Cheese Danish

TXCITIZEN.COM

Beyond the Cheese: Best Coffee

for the Hardcore Java-Head
Kora Kora Coffee
NB Coffee Co
On the Grind
Gruene Coffee House
Crosswalk Coffee

Beyond the Cheese: Best Baristas

Kora Kora Coffee
Crosswalk Cafe - Westpointe
Crosswalk Cafe - Plaza
On the Grind
NB Coffee Co
Gruene Coffee House
2 Rivers Coffee

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Meatball Sub
Figlios Pizza
Olives Italian Market
New York Pizza Pub
Blue Moose Pizza

Best Place to Trigger Insulin Spike

Sweet Dreams Bakery
Gourmet Ice Co
Babycake Truffles
Naegelins Bakery
Gourmage of Texas
2 Tarts
New City Bakery
Donut Palace

Beyond the Cheese: Best Local Treat Too

Good to Waste on Kids
Sweet Dreams Elvis Cupcake
Gourmet Ices Dreamsicle Shaved Ice
Babycake Truffles Pink Champagne
Gourmages Root Beer Marshmallow
Naegelins Maple Bacon Bar

RESULTS NEXT WEEK!

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Corporate Brisket
Rudys BBQ
Coopers BBQ
Bill Miller BBQ

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Indie Breakfast Tacos
San Juanita's Taqueria
Taqueria El Sazon Tapatio
Hannas Kitchen
Marinas Mexican Cantina
El Tapatio
Johnnies Taco Joint
NB Tortillaria
Cancun Mexican Restaurant
Taqueria Guadalajara
El Tamarindo
Los Gallos

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Small Chain Breakfast Tacos
Taco Palenque
El Nopalito
Las Palapas

Fire Water:
Best Full-On Texas Style Bar
The Watering Hole Saloon
Phoenix Saloon
Conways Dance Hall
Old Ice House
Happy Cow
Billys Ice House
Rileys Tavern
Hoity Toit Beer Joint

Beyond the Cheese: Best Snackage

Fire Water: Best Sports Bar

Adobe Verdes Frog Dip

Oma Gruenes German Nachos
Phoenix Saloons Frito-Pie
Scores Fried Pickles
Happy Cows Baloney Sandwich
CBQs Evil Disco Death Metal Fries
Buffalo Wings and Rings Saratoga Chips

Prickly Pear Lounge

Scores Sports Bar and Grill
Black Whale
The Watering Hole Saloon
River City Range Bar
Buffalo Wings and Rings

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Indie Brisket

Fire Water: Best Pub Style Bar

Granzins
Schwabs BBQ
CBQ Smokehouse
McBees BBQ

Oyster Bar
Black & Tan Pub
Faust Brewing Co
AJs Ale House
Calahans

Fire Water: Best Wine Bar

Longshot Wine Bar
Vino en Verde
Water 2 Wine
Wolfgangs Keller
Vineyard at Gruene
Winery in the Gruene
Kork

Fire Water:
Best Patio/Deck/Backyard Bar
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Koozies Ice House
Pour Haus
Bubbas Big Deck
Pateks Craft Beer and Wine Bar

Fire Water: Best Dang Margarita

Adobe Verdes Dos Rita
Watering Holes Margarita
Phoenix Saloons Margarita
Scores Margaritas
Prickly Pears Margarita
Black Whales Margarita

Boot Scootin:
Best Place to Get Your Two-Step On
Conways Dance Hall
Watering Hole Saloon
Gruene Hall

Commerce: Best Place to

Pick Up Essentials Before One of "Those
Kinds" of Dates
The Perky Peacock
Ludwig's Leather
Henne Hardware

Civics: Coolest City-Owned Vehicle

NBFDs Ladder Truck
NBPDs Tank
Street Departments Grapple Truck

Jahr der Kse

(Year of the Cheese)

15

Call our AWARD WINNING TEAM! 830.620.7653

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NOTICE TO CREDITORS. Notice is hereby given

that original Letters Testamentary for the Estate of
Vernon Thomas Harris, Sr., Deceased, were issued
on April 2, 2015, in Cause No. 2011PC0075, pending
in the County Court at Law of Comal County, Texas,
to: Dorothy Jean Harris.
All persons having claims against this Estate
which is currently being administered are required
to present them to the undersigned within the time
and in the manner prescribed by law.
DATED the 2nd day of April, 2015.

Frank B. Suhr, Attorney at Law,

473 S. Seguin Ave, Ste 100, New Braunfels, TX 78130

State Bar No.: 19466300,
Tel: (830) 625-4345, Fax: (830) 606-4511,
Attorney for Dorothy Jean Harris
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