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WGS300
Danielle Hernandez
Prof. Berg
11/24/14
Daphne du Maurier: A Psychoanalytical Review of an Authors Sexuality

Daphne du Maurier, popularly known for the successful conversion of her gothic
romance novel Rebecca and chilling short story The Birds into Alfred Hitchcock films, is not a
writer usually considered within the scholarly study of literature. Her novels have been
continuously dismissed as mere popular romance and, as du Maurier herself lamented, she was
considered a hack-writing, best-selling spinner of yarns. Her son, Kit, compared the criticism
she received to the criticism of modern romance novelists who made it big: think Fifty Shades of
Greys E.L. James or Danielle Steel (Flanagan). Regardless of her literary credibility, Daphne du
Maurier was a remarkable and confusing woman worthy of study independent of, and
complemented by, her written works.
The British authoress has been the center of controversy and conversation since the
release of Margaret Forsters biography of her in 1993. Much to the chagrin of many relatives
and friends of the du Mauriers, what Forster unearthed in her years of research and interviews
was a secret history of same-sex affairs carried out by du Maurier throughout her life and during
her marriage. Whether or not the allegations about the writers sexual orientation are correct, I
plan to use several biographies (Forsters included), statements from friends and family, and,
when possible, excerpts from letters and diaries to assess if du Maurier may have suffered
internalized homophobia. I will compare Du Mauriers experiences and statements against the 52
items on the Lesbian Internalized Homophobia Likert scale (LIHS) used in clinical psychology

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to assess level of internalized homophobia in lesbian women (Szymanski & Chung, 37-51). Once
analyzed with the LIHS, I will review psychological literature regarding the correlation between
internalized homophobia (IH) and relationship styles. I will also discuss Du Mauriers
relationships with women, with her husband, and with her parents using this psychological lens.
For the sake of analysis, I am making the assumption that Daphne du Maurier was a
bisexual woman; however, neither her sexuality nor her gender identity can be explicitly
understood from her writings. Although she usually identified as a person of a female gender and
used she/her/hers pronouns, she also had a very masculine gender expression for the decades in
which she lived. Additionally, she had at times made comments indicative of possible dysphoria.
In a letter written on December 10, 1947 to Ellen Doubleday, du Maurier described herself
during her prepubescent years as never being a little girl and always being a little boy.
(Forster, 221) She also described her identity in the third person rather poetically in the same
letter, saying that when she began puberty, the boy was locked in a box forever, but that
sometimes when she found Menabilly and lived in it alone, she opened up the box sometimes
and let the phantom, who was neither girl nor boy but disembodied spirit dance in the evening
when there was no one to see. (Forster, 222) It is unclear whether du Maurier was referring to
gender identity or sexual orientation given that she adamantly refused to be labeled as a lesbian:
by God and by Christ if anyone should call that sort of love by that unattractive word that
begins with L, Id tear their guts out (Forster, 222). Du Mauriers father, actor-manager
Gerald du Maurier, may have contributed to her questioning her gender identity, as well. He
often regarded Daphne and her two sisters as being born the wrong sex as he longed for a son
in their severely patriarchal society (Forster, 12). When Daphne began to mature, he even wrote
her a very confusing poem:

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My very slender one
So brave of heart, but delicate of will,
So careful not to wound, never kill,
My tender oneWho seems to live in Kingdoms all her own
In realms of joy
Where heroes young and old
In climates hot and cold
Do deeds of daring and much fame
And she knows she could do the same
If only shed been born a boy.
And sometimes in the silence of the night
I wake and think perhaps my darlings right
And that she should have been,
And, if Id had my way,
She would have been, a boy.
My very slender one
So feminine and fair, so fresh and sweet,
So full of fun and womanly deceit.
My tender one
Who seems to dream her life away alone.
A dainty girl
But always well attired
And loves to be admired
Wherever she may be, and wants
To be the being who enchants
Because she has been born a girl.
And sometimes in the turmoil of the day
I pause, and think my darling may
Be one of those who will
For good or ill
Remain a girl for ever and be still
A Girl. (Forster, 12-13)
However, I will continue my analysis following the assumption that this image of gender
dysphoria or gender fluidity is actually a womans confusion in the absence of the label
bisexual.
The first scale used to assess internalized homophobia in gay men came out in 1995. This
scale was nine items long and questions were derived from the diagnostic criteria for egodystonic homosexuality in the 1980 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (Herek 2012). Since then,

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there has been steady progress to expand the assessment and make it applicable to individuals
who are lesbian and bisexual. Mohr and Kendras Lesbian and Gay Identity Scale published in
2000 became the next improvement on the 1995 Meyers test. The LGIS analyzed internalized
homonegativity, need for privacy, need for acceptance, difficulty of process, identity confusion,
and feelings of superiority or inferiority in both men and women (Mohr & Kendra 2011).
Szymanski and Chungs (2011) Lesbian Internalized Homophobia Scale came along next,
focusing in on womens experiences, although remaining limited to homosexuality. This scale
considered the social risks, stigmas, and psychological distress correlated with some same-sex
partnerships between women. The LIHS covers items taken from the original internalized
homophobia scale, items derived from clinical studies of lesbian women, and various other
psychological theories pertaining to self-esteem and identity. A year later, in 2012, researchers
Mohr and Kendra (2012) again continued the evolution and developed the Lesbian, Gay, &
Bisexual Identity Scale- the first scale to take into account the complexities of being attracted to
two genders. The LGBIS contains items worded to relate to the experiences of homosexual and
bisexual women and men and is the most inclusive scale currently available. Amongst the
dimension of LGB experience that it covers in its 27 items, I will focus on three in du Mauriers
life and writings: (1) self-concealment, or outness (i.e. I keep careful control over who knows
about my same-sex romantic relationships; I prefer to keep my same-sex romantic relationships
rather private), (2) strength of connection to one's LGB identity (i.e. I get very confused when I
try to figure out my sexual orientation; I have felt comfortable with my sexual identity just about
from the start; I can't decide whether I am bisexual or homosexual), and (3) internalized
homonegativity, or homophobia (i.e. I believe it is unfair that I am attracted to people of the same
sex; I wish I were heterosexual).

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Daphne du Mauriers outness as a bisexual woman was complicated. In some regards,
she was completely comfortable with speaking about her same-sex relationships, and about sex,
in general. Sex, she believed was something that could be entered into casually and she learned
this from her father, Gerald du Maurier. Her father was known to take many extra-marital lovers
(he called them the Stable) and although her mother vaguely knew of this, she did not react to
it. Daphne was therefore led to see sex as something that could exist independent of love and to
see marriage as a sham.
Du Maurier considered sex a game (Forster 18-19) and noted this feeling in one of her
first novels, Ill Never Be Young Again. The male narrator, Dick, who could be considered the
voice of du Maurier, discusses sex lightly with the woman he is trying to woo: and [sex]s
nothing really, its just a little phase in life that scarcely counts. Men and women ought to make
love like they play a game of tennis. (Du Maurier KL 3098-3099) There was even a sort of
outness regarding her particular bisexuality in the selection of narrators in her novels. Dick is not
the only male narrator she employs to present herself and her feelings of love, romance, and
sexuality. In one of her first short stories, The Doll, she is a male narrator competing with a
sex doll for the affections of a woman. In her play September Tide, although narrated by a
character, du Maurier places herself in the main character, a rebellious artist named Evan. Du
Maurier is Philip in My Cousin Rachel and Richard in The House on the Strand. She is Guthrie,
the Reverend James Hollaway, the mysterious Mr.XYZ, and countless other male voices. This
literary presence can be taken two different ways. When she once confided in Ellen Doubleday,
one of her love interests, that she imagined herself as Evan in September Tide and Ellen as the
mother-in-law he has an affair with, du Maurier threatened that if Ellen were to tell anyone, that
she would have her stretched on the rack, and drawn and quartered. (Forster, 228) Therefore,

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publishing herself as these men for anyone to read could be an express of comfort in outness or,
given her exchange with Ellen Doubleday, it could be a way to hide behind fictional characters.
Another way to view her outness is through her letters. Her childhood governess and
lifelong confident whom she called Tod heard thoroughly about her relationships both with
women and with men. Du Maurier wrote to Tod about how happily married she was to General
Boy Browning, describing him as the most charming person in the world and stating that life
as his wife was a whirl, (Forster, 101) but also wrote to her about female lovers and love
interests. However, this confidence was not afforded to many others in her life. Although she
discussed both her affairs with her finishing school headmistress, Mlle Ferdinand Ferdy Yvon
and with actress Gertrude Lawrence with her governess, she never brought these topics up with
her other heterosexual friends (Forster, 31-38). She reacted fearfully and even angrily at the
thought of being outed to other friends and especially relatives. In one vivid letter from her late
teens, du Maurier expressed much nervousness about being outed to her mother, Muriel, when
she was surprised by her then lover, Ferdy, coming to stay with the two of them for a vacation in
the Lake District (Forster, 35-36). Her father, Gerald, was also known to be quite vocal about his
opposition to homosexuality, which left du Maurier in a position of denying and concealing [her
Venetian tendencies], (Forster, 419) as they were called in the du Maurier code shared
amongst her father and sisters. This generally unsupportive, Victorian-moral driven family most
likely left du Maurier in a place where she felt uncomfortable, or where she never even
considered it a possibility to be publically out. Luckily, du Maurier was able to manage staying
closeted for the most part. Her daughters biography showed that nobody perceived any of her
relationships with her female lovers as being more than just friendships. Du Maurier never

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seemed to her husband or children to be any more enamored of the women in their lives than
they themselves were. (Leng, 119-120, 177)
Not only did du Maurier struggle to disclose her same-sex relationships with family, but
she also struggled to come to terms with these attractions within herself. Daphne du Maurier was
often caused a great deal of pain by her attraction to other women. At times it made her so
disagreeable that one could argue that she hated herself for it. When looking back to her affair
with Gertrude Lawrence, du Maurier wrote that she hated thinking about her involvement with
her and that it leads to suicidal thoughts. (Forster, 167) Needless to say, her sexuality was not
something which gave her the kind of pride that the modern LGBTQ community so values. She
was proud of herself as a sexual individual, often boasting about her sexual exploits (du Maurier,
132-133); however, she was not proud of the duality of her attractions. She always referred to
lesbians as the L people (Forster, 123) or as Venetian, (Forster, 31) not even allowing
herself to name the identity. They were the Other. At times, she questioned whether or not her
sexual feelings were just the feelings of friendship and seemed to shift back and forth in that
regard. After her relationship with Ferdy, she was introduced to Carol Reed, a family friend with
whom she had her next affair. Here she struggled to understand whether her sexual attraction for
him was really just an extension of her friendship with someone who shared her values (Forster,
63-64).

[INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA]

In 2007, psychologist Alissa Sherry at the University of Texas at Austin conducted a

study about internalized homophobia and relationships/attachment styles. In the study, 286

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lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals were asked to fill out a number of surveys, one of which
was the forerunner to the LIHS. The other two measures were the Harder Personal Feelings
Questionnaire (HPFQ) to assess proneness to shame and guilt and the Relationship Scales
Questionnaire (RSQ) intended to be "a continuous measure of attachment according to Hazan
and Shaver's 1987 attachment research (Sherry, 219-225). The result data showed a statistically
significant reverse correlation between secure attachment styles (healthy relationships) and
internalized homophobia. Internalized homophobia was also significantly comorbid with
measures of elevated shame and guilt. The insecure attachment style of people with internalized
homophobia, however, was not necessarily correlated with childhood attachment style to the
participants own parents as is usually the case. There was some correlation, but later generation
of a negative cognitive working model of a participants own identity as a homosexual or
bisexual individual was a stronger predictor and could sometimes overwrite the previous
attachment style the individual formed during infancy (Sherry, 219-225).
A look at Daphnes own parenting style reflects this insecure attachment style with her
own parents early in life and may be related to insecure attachment style forged through her
internalized homophobia. Her daughter Flavias memoir and biography of her mother offers
evidence of low warmth and also, inconsistent levels of control over her children. Daphne
seemed very cold and aloof to her daughters while affording a bit more warmth to her son Kits.
When she was twelve years old, Flavia began seeking warmth and companionship from her
mother; however, she didnt spend much time in her company, for she liked to be alone. (Leng,
168) In contrast, Flavia reflected that she and her sister, Tessa would look on as my mother
kissed and cuddled [Kits], wishing that just once she might kiss or hug us but she never did.
(Leng, 38) Daphne also was often either very controlling of her daughters behavior or

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completely uninterested in what they did. She was often absent from her children, choosing to
remain in the confines of her room writing. When she was a new parent, she found the task of
parenting overwhelming and couldnt care less about what her children were getting up to.
Controlling them was the job of their nanny and according to her biographer, her involvement
with her [first] baby was minimal (Forster, 104-106). When she was involved, she would dictate
what activities her children participated in, what clothes they wore, and who they associated
with. Essentially, she forbade her daughters from being young and feminine. They were almost
treated like adolescent boys or men. For example, Daphnes daughters never owned dressesonly trousers and other clothes that allowed them to participate in the rugged, outdoorsy,
activities Daphne approved of. When Daphnes unrequited inamorata Ellen Doubleday bought
Flavia dresses at Lord and Taylors during one of the familys visits to New York, Daphne made
her discard the dresses once they returned home to Menabilly. She teased her daughter, telling
her that they made her look funny and that she couldnt come for a walk like that- put your nice
cords on, they suit you much better. (Leng, 123). Later when Flavia began to mature, Daphne
attempted to control her from spending time with peers. When Ellen Doubleday again intervened
on Flavias behalf urging Daphne to send her to boarding school to be with other children her
age, Daphne retorted that Flavia was perfectly fine in the company of adults (namely, Daphnes
friends) (Leng, 155-156). With these elements of warmth and control considered, Daphne du
Mauriers parenting skills may be considered permissive, uninvolved or even negligent. Diana
Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist, conducted renown parenting research in
the 1960s in which she identified categories of parenting depending on where a parent fell on a
grid of high or low warmth/caring and high or low control/responsiveness (see Fig. A). A parent
who fell in the quadrant of both high warmth/caring and high control/responsiveness was

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considered authoritative and, according to Baumrinds
Parenting Typology, this is the most developmentally
beneficial style resulted in and from secure attachment
in other relationships. Parents who fell in the quadrant
of low warmth/caring, but high control/responsiveness
were considered authoritative and parents who fell in
the quadrant of high warmth/caring, but low
control/responsiveness were considered permissive and
both of these styles are considered unbeneficial to child
development, but not negligent or abusive in nature. At times, Du Maurier seemed to conduct a
permissive parenting style since she was often absent and left discipline up to the nanny.
However, her insistence on certain approved activities with little room for argument or options
leads me to categorize her dually in the permissive quadrant and the fourth and most dangerous
quadrant. A parent who falls in this final quadrant (added later by Maccoby & Martin) of both
low warmth/caring and low control/responsiveness is considered uninvolved and can sometimes
be classified as negligent. This parenting style is described as one which is aloof, cold,
demanding, and rigid. Parents who fall into this quadrant often had insecure attachment styles in
other areas of their life, either from their parents or from later experiences such as those
described in the Sherry study on internalized homophobia (Baumrind, 43-88; Maccoby &
Martin, 1-101).
Although this paper offers evidence through a psychoanalytic lens of du Mauriers
experience of sexual identity, there are still opposing views. After Margaret Forsters biography
was published, those who were close to Daphne refuted the claims about her lesbianism and

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bisexuality while others came out and added taboos such as incest on top of her name
(Thornton). When a film dramatizing the same-sex romances depicted in Forsters biography
was released in 2007, the criticism continued. The BBC was torn apart by one review for
deciding to focus on du Mauriers sexuality rather than her writing. Rachel Cooke, a reporter for
The Sunday Times and The Observer asked what Daphne du Maurier would have made of this
depiction? Intensely private, she would have been horrified (Cooke). The back and forth that
remains on the topic reminds us that nothing about the past can be definitive and that as much as
one may research an individual who is no longer living, there can be no true answers.

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Works Cited
Baumrind, Diana. Child Care Practices Anteceding Three Patterns of Preschool Behavior.
Genetic Psychology Monographs 75.1 (1967): 43-88.

Cooke, Rachel. A Low-Budget Love Affair: Was du Maurier's Sexuality Really the Most
Important Thing About Her?. New Statesman, Ltd, 2007. Web.

Du Maurier, Daphne. I'll Never Be Young Again Kindle Edition. Little, Brown and Company,
1930. Kindle Locations 3098-3099.

Du Maurier, Daphne. Myself when Young : The Shaping of a Writer. 1st ed. in the U.S ed.
Garden City, N.Y: Doubleday, 1977.

Flanagan, Padraic. "Daphne du Maurier 'Overlooked' by Literary Critics, Her Son Says." The
Telegraph. Associated Newspapers, 15 April 2014. Web.

Forster, Margaret. Daphne Du Maurier : The Secret Life of the Renowned Storyteller. New
York: Doubleday, c1993; 1st ed, 1993.

Hallett, Nicky. Did Mrs. Danvers Warm Rebecca's Pearls? Significant Exchanges and the
Extension of Lesbian Space and Time in Literature. Palgrave Macmillan, 2003.

Herek, G. (2012). Assessing sexual self-stigma ("internalized homophobia"). Sexual orientation:

Science, education, and policy. Retrieved from http://www.lgbpsychology.com
/html/NEW_ihpitems.html

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Leng, Flavia. Daphne Du Maurier : A Daughter's Memoir. Edinburgh ; London: Mainstream
Pub, 1994.
Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. Socialization in the Context of the Family: Parent-Child
Interaction. Handbook of Child Psychology. Vol. 4: Socialization, Personality, and Social
Development (1983): 1101.
Mohr, J. J., & Kendra, M. S. Revision and extension of a multidimensional measure of
sexual minority identity: The Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Identity Scale. Journal Of
Counseling Psychology, 58.2 (2011): 234-245.
Sherry, Alissa. "Internalized Homophobia and Adult Attachment: Implications for Clinical
Practice." Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training 44.2 (2007): 219-25.
Thornton, Michael. "Daphne's Terrible Secret." Daily Mail. Associated Newspapers, 1 May
2007. Web.