Jourdyn Alli

HESI418K
5/11/15
Self-Portrait
Teaching and Learning
As a student who graduated from Prince Georges County Public Schools,
my perception of teaching and learning may be a little different than others. A lot
of the schools within the county rely on funding from the government that is given
based on test scores. Because of this, several teachers are pressured to focus
all of their efforts toward getting students to pass the exams. Although my grades
were good, the teachers lessons didnt help me in the long run and only ensured
that I did well on my state examination. This leads me into the discussion of my
first critical incident.
In 2008, as a sophomore in high school I decided to take my first AP
course. I went to Oxon Hill High School in Oxon Hill, MD. At the end of the year,
each student was expected to take a college level examination that would
determine if the students would receive college credit. Usually the class prepares
the students for this examination, but I think my teacher chose not to practice for
the exam because he was pressured to get his students to pass the state exam.
This affected me because I ended up failing the AP exam and did not meet the
requirements to receive college credit.
It affected my relationship with my family because they were putting a lot
of pressure on me to pass the exam, so that I could save money in college by
already having credits. The event affected my notions of teaching/leadership by
proving to me that sometimes teachers and school systems are selfish. It would

have benefitted students to pass the AP examination, but they valued funding
more, so we were left with the short end of the stick. The situation now
embarrasses me. When I talk to my friends and fellow students at the university,
each of them passed their AP exams with flying colors, but I failed each one
because of the type of school I went to. This critical incident made me aware of
my social class: lower middle class. Because my family could not afford a private
school or nicer county to live in, I was stuck going to school in one of the worst
academic counties in the state.
During my freshman year in college, 2011, I was single, but still was
talking to a girl that I went to high school with. She had a dark past and was
known for being suicidal and far removed from religion. One weekend, I visited
my dad in Bowie, MD and found out some information about her that I didnt want
to hear. I approached her about it and we ended up having an argument. I could
tell that our argument would lead to a negative reaction on her part, so I began to
calm down and bring up religion.
Of course, she resisted, but after a while she accepted my religious
conversation. We eventually realized our relationship wouldnt work out and now
she is on a clearer path. This incident really assisted me in identifying myself as
a Christian. My pastor used to always push his members to preach to individuals
outside of church, so I attempted to do so in order to prevent her from hurting
herself. Although I am not the best Christian, I took it upon myself to teach her
what I knew to show her that she has things to live for and someone above that
is looking out for her.

I believe this took place because God knew I heard my pastor preaching
about spreading the word to individuals in need. He put this situation in my hands
to see if I would do as my pastor told me to. This situation affected me by
solidifying the importance of religion and my ability to teach individuals about
Christianity. The incident affected my relationship with the girl by strengthening
our bond. Although we are not in an emotional relationship, our friendship is still
important to each other and we make sure to check in frequently.
My notions of teaching/leadership were affected because the incident
proved that an individual doesnt have to be an expert to teach someone
something. They just have to know enough and be confident in the information in
order to effectively convey it. Personally, the incident made me feel sympathetic. I
find it to be a luxury to believe in God and have a religion because not everyone
was raised the same way. Sometimes parents dont instill religious values in
individuals as children, which makes it harder to become religious once they
grow older.
In 2013, I volunteered as an assistant coach for the Boys & Girls Club in
Clinton, MD. I chose to take on the role because my little brother wanted to play
soccer and I believed that it was important for the youth in my area to become
active. In this position, I gained experience in teaching children about soccer
techniques and the importance of balancing school and extracurriculars. One day
at practice, the parent of a star player approached me about the childs grades.
According to the mom, the boy wasnt taking school seriously and was acting out.

After bringing the situation to head coachs attention, he put the decision
in my hands. Either I put the child on our bench to punish him for his academic
misdeeds and we lose one of our best players or I still played him and let it slide.
I chose to bench the player because I wanted to set an example for the team and
my little brother: sports are not more important than academics. This critical
incident made me aware of my identity as a man and an African American.
Because the county that I live in is majority black, they really value sports and
sometimes do so at the expense of education.
As an African American in this type of county, I really had to go against
what my race usually does in this situation and do what I thought was right. I
think this identified me as a man because my players were children and I was
seen as a male role model. Although I was a young adult, I was put in a position
where I had to educate the players and a lot of them looked up to me. I believe
this took place because some parents believe their children can make it playing
professional sports. They see sports as a free ticket to college, but dont
understand that many institutions require their athletes to have a good academic
record as well.
This incident affected me by proving that I can do the right thing as a
teacher even if it has short-term consequences: losing a few games. This
incident affected my relationship with the player by him despising me for a while.
Because he was young, he didnt understand why I chose to bench him and was
upset. It affected my notions of teaching/leadership by strengthening my belief in
the importance of teaching the youth. Although I was only his soccer coach, I was

able to instill values in him that he may not have received at home or in school.
After the incident, I was upset because I got close to a lot of the players and he
really didnt want anything to do with me, but knowing I helped him in the long run
helped me get over it.
My next critical incident occurred earlier in 2015 as a teaching assistant
for this course in College Park, MD. During my second lecture for HESI418K, I
posed a question that addressed African-American mens interest in women of
lighter color and other races. One of the female students responded and
basically stated that black men who date outside their race are ashamed of being
black. As the teaching assistant, I couldnt engage in an argument, so I continued
to ask her questions to unravel her answer a little more. She remained content in
her answer and we ended up moving on.
I think this situation made me aware of aspects relating to my sexual
orientation, heterosexual, and my culture. As a heterosexual, I date women and
sometimes I become interested in girls who arent a part of my race. Many could
negatively view this as a preference, but I believe that I do not have control of
whom I am attracted to. I took offense to the statement because of my dual
culture. My mother is white and my father is black, so hearing her say that really
made me personally relate the statements to my life and family.
Am I the product of self-hate? Did my mother and father hate their own
races, so much that they sought each other out? As an individual who has two
different cultures, sometimes I am left defending one over the other. Most of the

time I am defending my black culture because of my appearance. In this case, I

was defending both of my cultures because they were both being challenged.
I think this took place because of the students past experiences with black
men, who may have put her down because she wasnt exotic. It affected me by
proving as a teacher I should be able to not take students comments personally.
I need to learn how to unbiasedly teach a topic and let students conjure their own
meanings. The only way it affected my relationship with the student is that I now
know how she feels about biracial relationships and I do not agree with it. This
incident impacted my notions of teaching/leadership by showing me that it is hard
to become emotionally unattached to a subject for the sake of the students. I
think it is important for teachers to be unbiased in their teachings because they
arent the only ones who form ideas and opinions. At the time of the incident, I felt
mad but now I am over it. I hope that what I taught the student will broaden her
opinion on biracial couples.
Approaching this assignment as a teaching assistant was really
challenging to me. Because I have already done it as a student, a lot of the
critical incidents that I wanted to mention I talked about in my paper last
semester. I also didnt view much of my life experiences as a teacher/leader, but
after much thought I realized I did approach many situations as a teacher and a
leader. My prior definition of a teacher was someone who simply academically
supported individuals, but now I see that a teacher can do much more than that.
Ultimately, my life experiences have molded me to be the person I am
today. After having two opportunities to be a teaching assistant, I can honestly

say that I value education and learning a lot more than I did before. There is no
handbook or textbook that can mold the perfect teacher. Only life experiences
and lessons can better an individual as an educator. I cannot wait to unravel my
future critical incidents in order to become a more effective teacher.