Budapest Survival Kit

(essential info on how to get along

in a country that had 11 or so
completely different political/
economic/cultural systems
in the last century)
 Introduction
It all started with the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. Our
great-grandparents were young and promising children of a
big, multicultural European power. But things were about to
get horribly wrong for the rest of the century. The catastrophe
of WWI was promptly followed by huge territorial and
demographic losses, a brief three months of communist coup,
and a year or so of foreign occupation. What followed was a
nationalistic dictatorship of a Vice-Admiral with no fleet or
sea, in a kingdom without a king. From here the situation
quickly deteriorated into WWII, with a brief nazi dictatorship
costing the lives of hundreds of thousands. After the end of
the war, a three year democracy was overthrown by a
Stalinist regime to be ended by a revolution lasting for less
than a month. Soft communist stagnation was ended in 1989.
Needless to say all of these regimes introduced their own
social, cultural order along with the political systems.
Different elites, different enemies, different values,
different schoolbooks in every 9 years (in average). When
those few from our great-grandparents’ generation who
have survived it all had finally died, there was nothing to
be taken granted. In this country nothing really started
and nothing really ended. In this book You
will find some clues how to survive
under such circumstances.

----------------The 0km stone at the Sikló

The city
Two sides of the story
Budapest is a city that was made up of three cities. Buda is a mostly
clean cut old town with conservative traditions and prideful
bourgeoisie. It was always closer to the centre of power and the
composition of its citizenry still changes with winds, even though
the country is governed from the Parliament on the other side. Pest
is a pulsing cosmopolitan place, changing much faster and more
dramatically than Buda. Pest is the real city where you feel that
anything can and will happen. Maybe because it was built on a messy,
marshy place in Barbaricum, where the lines of power were not so
clearly drawn. Unfortunately, most of Óbuda, the third city-part,
became a huge, faceless pre-fab housing estate with only the old town
square and a few places by the Danube telling about past glory.

When Ice-T visited here he said very aptly that Buda is the Body and
Pest is the Pussy. Even the B-s and P-s are matching. He was right, the
city is a woman, with the hills as breasts and something messy on the
left bank where you can feel the twirl of things. You wonder the grace
of Buda and feel the power of Pest, the pussy, sucking everything
into itself. Just like you admire the elegant style, shoulders
and breasts of a Buda woman and you feel the fatal,
invincible attraction to the pussy of the Pest woman.
Bullet holes
Like many women, this city had some rather not
too pleasant experiences. Not long ago Germans
on one side and Russians on the other abused
her. Scars from that rape on her precious body
can still be seen all over. Up in the middle
of the Castle on Dísz tér, one building full of
bullet holes still stands out as a contrast to the
tourist attractions. It is not preserved as it is
on purpose, there is the usual bitching going
on about the renovation: who will get the fat
contract and so on. Still, it serves as perfect
memento for the troublesome days.
The scarred buildings in Pest are not so in
the focus of public attention, out of sight
in a side street. Many of them will never
be renovated, their last function is being
a twisted tourist attraction until property
speculation forces them to be torn
down.
Shooting stands
If you keep your head high and watch the rooftops you can see weird installatio
ns on many
buildings. Many of these turret-like edifices have other purposes than being
just mere
ornaments. They were designed to be shooting stands and were heavily
in use during the
war and in 1956. The one on the corner of Dob utca is still the one of the
most dominant
landmarks of the street. Nazis sniped on the Kiskörút from this turret that
is now turned into
a flat. It was on sale for HUF 15,000,000 in 2004.
 Empty buildings
magnificent buildings. Many of the city’s
The real estate market seems to care little about important or simply
seems to be able to find a solution. The most famous case is Gozsdu
famous properties are decaying and no-one
small businesses, offices and flats before
udvar between Király and Dob utca. It was a Paris-style passage full of
a cunning investor, the last inhabitants and
the war. The bitching has been going for decades between the district,
down that it could be used as a stand-in for post-war Berlin
the Rumanian state. In the end, the building was so run
the movie Spy Game, (imdb: tt0266987 ). They started the renovatio n recently but you are still able to
Gozsdu udvar between Király and Dob utca setting
in
might get an indescrib ably weird feeling of being in a scenery for a post
Divatcsarnok, Andrássy 39. visit if you can sneak past the guards. You
“Fashion Hall”, (used to be a very chic shopping mall) nuclear strike role playing game.
pics-> Úttörő Áruház,
V., Kossuth Lajos
utca 7-9.
(Used to be the
first shopping
mall in Budapest.
Last name was
“Pioneer’s depart-
ment store”)
City planning as cabaret council started building the second (red) metro line. The National Theatre,
that time, the jewel of Blaha,
City planning has always been a bit of a comedy act. Few decades ago the the buildings foundatio n. Some say that the commies wanted
the metro would not have even touched
was found to be in its way, so they blew it up. Few months later they realised
to destroy that national symbol on purpose. they
started from both sides, and as the two branches were nearing each other
In the 70’s, they were building a motorway bridge near Nyugati. They Adriatic Sea level, the other is to the Baltic, hence the
the two. One side was measured to the
realised there was a 0,675 meter difference between
country is measured or compared to.
divergence. Well, there has always been a big matter which standard the on
ce of planning for decades. Coming from the South on Bajcsy-Zsilinszky, the bus turned left
People on night buses saluted this masterpie Körút and then made a left again under the bridge. The
turn right again onto the
Alkotmány just before the bridge, drove around a huge block to
metres before the end of the bridge. Some genius solved this problem by
5-minute detour was needed because the bus stop is placed twenty
the bridge onto the Körút.
allowing the night buses to make a left-turn before
 they found a monster called Süt-
Legend says when the Romans wanted to conquer the land over the river
didn’t fight the legionnai res, but he had them seduced with
Főz-Fűt living in the marshes of Pest. The monster
from the East. The soldiers never returned to their camp and stayed on the left side of the river. The
beauties
he was a true voyeur, bringing people
monster became interested in watching the people, well, mix. With time
is still around, maybe he lives somewhere
together in the most peculiar ways and combinations. The monster
say if his voyeurism is not satisfied he will wake up rampage through the streets like a
under the city. They
Godzilla.
 Moszkva tér

at the
bar on Moszkva Tér. The square lies
square from the upstairs terrace of the
You can observe the contrasts of this home to the coun try’s riche st. And this is
descend from the surrounding hills -
intersection of many of the roads that force mark et) is held every morn ing. People from the
cial” term: illegal work
where the city’s last slave market (“offi t loudly into mobile phones, selling
these
rn part of the coun try and Tran sylvania are hired by foremen who shou that the übert rendy youn g-
Easte of trainers
ngs of the workers could buy one pair
guys to building sites. One week’s earni have to pass the poor est work ers everyday. There is
sometimes. The trendiest kids
sters in the bar wear. Fate is a bitch they have little in common.
actio n, both grou ps dislik e the other and are absolutely aware that
little inter
Bath
Yes, the baths, you have to
be a fool not to visit at least one. The best
time to go to a bath is in the early hours to start the day or
finish a hard night. Gellért and Széchenyi are big and touristy but neverthe-
less marvellous. Chill in the pool on the hill and watch the city in Gellért in summer. Sit
outside in the smoking hot water in Széchenyi in the winter. Baths do help forming that hedonistic, care-free
mentality some Budapesters possess.
Traditionally, Turkish bath pools are separated, some smaller baths open only for males or females on certain
days. Make sure you know where you are going: big scandal rose around Király when the public got to Gellért,
know about the gay orgies. Some male only days in Rác are also gay friendly. Rudas is XI., Kelenhegyi út
always for males only but expect taxi drivers and small time criminals and 4-6., (Gellért tér)
Széchenyi,
politicians instead of gays. It used to house parties at night (for both sexes)
XIV., Állatkerti út
and will hopefully carry on with that after the renovation. Lukács 11. (stop “Széchenyi
is the least famous for tourists but maybe the most Fürdő” on the yellow
beloved by the Budapesters. It is a very line)
important place in the informal Rudas, I.,
news circulation of the Döbrentei tér 9.
city. (Under renovation)
Rácfürdő, I., Hadnagy
u. 8-10.
Király,
II., Fő u. 82-86
Lukács,
II., Frankel Leó u.
25-29
Mászóka – Climbies
The „climbies”, the monkey bars were
all manufactured by the Central
Monkey Bar Manufacturing
Cooperative (CMBMC). Some of them
had political meaning: the sphere
symbolised the globe and the rocket
trained the future generation of
kosmonauts. There was also the house,
the cat, the wave and the pipeline and
that was the selection. Thick oil paint
covered them in either peace blue,
soviet red, sick piss yellow or green.
They were made of metal so your hands
would freeze to them in the winter and
they would burn your ass in the
summer. The blocks of concrete
surrounding them made climbing an
extreme sport. Most of the kids
suffered severe injuries and boasted
about them like veterans boast
about their scars. Today the good old
mászokas are replaced by safe-to-use,
euro-conform wooden or plastic things.
Some of the old ones are still to be seen
around, sunken, paint peeled off.
Szinva u.
Your last exit in the VIIth
district before the bourgeois,
green belt district streets
of XIVth Zugló is Szinva
utca. The street is designed
in perfect, scary symmetry.
On the sides you see windows
with rolled-down palettes.
You can’t help the feeling of
being watched. But the street
is dead, the only living thing
between the walls is dog shit.
A few toothless zombies
appear from nowhere and
check if the cars have valid
parking permits. You notice
that each house has a
workshop underneath, in
some you can watch the
last women working in the
capital’s textile industry. You
are happy to see people again,
even though they are half
machines. You get scared,
hurry towards the light, the
busy road at the end of the
street. You have a feeling that
each step takes you further
and further from your goal.
You scream. A window opens
and someone tells you to go
to hell. “I am already in the
hallway” you shout back.
The transition from the old system to the new was anything but smooth. Many rose to unimaginable wealth almost overnight with seriously
dodgy methods. Now you have the chance to play the transition again with the most controversial characters. Here are the first four play cards.
 Stadler
Strength 3/10
Intelligence 3/10
Tasnádi Spell 3/10
Strength 7/10 Special Skill “Last Supper” (100 Mana)
Intelligence 5/10 Brings Leonardo’s Last Supper painting into the
Spell 4/10 country and reclaims the VAT for the business
afterwards. After this he is not allowed to make
Special Skill “Mr. Muscle” (20 Mana) any move for 8 rounds.
Calls a carload of muscleman. If he succeeds, he Special Skill “Son of common people”
gets +5 attack. (1 Mana)
Special Skill “Being persecuted” (20 Mana) He is allowed to say he is a simple shepherd who
Each time he is cornered he is allowed to call his got ripped off by corrupt politicians. If he
opponent an anti-Semite. If he succeeds he gets a succeeds he gets away from the attack.
free round.
Suit All neon colours (“eye shock”, always
Suit all finest (-2 defence) attacks first)
Klapka
Strength 4/10 Cini
Intelligence 6/10
Spell 5/10 Strength 2/10
Intelligence 3/10
Special Skill “Cheap Marketing Stunt” (10 Mana) Spell 5/10
Manufactures a washing powder named
“conventional washing powder“. Each time the Special Skill “Bust Bump” (10 Mana)
other players mention his product in their ads he Can pump up her breasts to an unnatural size and
gets cash or free advertising. gain +8 defence.
Special Skill “undefeated defender of the last Special Skill “Whine on TV” (10 Mana)
bastion of freedom” (10 Mana) She may cry on telly and claim herself a victim
Can use his historical name (descendant of a of conspiracy. If she succeeds she gets away from
general of the 1848 revolution) to gain +1 support. the attack and gets +1 support.
Suit Red chequered with black (+ 2 defence) Suit only necktie (-2 defence)
 Stadler József
First occupation: shepherd. Made an incredible amount of money trading with the ex-USSR states. Notorious tax-dodger. His biggest coup was reclaiming
the VAT after the import of Leonardo’s Last Supper oil painting, which is a fresco in Milano. The responsible tax-officer said: “we found no formal mistakes
in the process” and allowed the payment. Stadler was finally cornered and sentenced to prison. He stated that he was used as a tool by politicians. Used to
run his own 1st division football team, named after himself. Today, he is not allowed to enter the stadium he built. Passionate collector of naive paintings of
himself and his estates. Tried to sell some of the masterpieces, but no-one paid the price he wanted. Recently released from prison made his debut as a
talk-show guest.
Klapka György
First occupation: show-dancer. Decorated in the GDR. Defected to West-Germany in 1969 and became successful
in business. Lived with four women at the same time (“Sometimes one of them hurried home so that the first would
be hers. She thought the others wouldn’t get any. But there was enough for each of them”). Came back in 1989 and
was charged within two years with a massive customs evasion case but was cleared (“I found a gap in the law”).
Manufactured a washing powder under the name of (Conventional washing powder), hoping that he could sue the
competitors if they mentioned his product unfavourably. Became a cult figure with his minimalist ads for his antique
shop. Passionate bio-walnut farmer. Claims to know a thousand love-poems by heart.
Tasnádi Péter
Sold electronic devices in Austria in the 80’s. Imported cars and operated a security firm
in Hungary in the 90’s. Organised and sponsored street-fighting events. Liked to pose as a
godfather, even wrote a book entitled “Mafia life-to-death? [The Maccabi story]”, but denied
any connection to organised crime. Arrested in 1999. Culprit of the first Hungarian mafia-case,
sentenced on four counts but not on creating or operating a crime organisation. Insisted that
he was only found guilty because he was a business opponent of the then Home Secretary,
who also run a security firm. “For the same role Al Pacino got an Oscar, I got three years”.
Wrote a book “983 days in the prison of Fidesz”. Released from prison recently. Passionate
cook. Loves kitschy villas and pictures of himself surrounded by masked bodyguards or
defence attorneys.
Zalatnay Sarolta (Cini)
Became the darling of the country after finishing second in a 1966 national
talent competition. Went to England, dated the scene. Members of the
Bee Gees wrote songs for her and allegedly one even proposed marriage.
Returned to Hungary and became a local star. Her memoir of love-affairs (“I
am not a nun”) was a best-seller in the 80’s. Blew her breasts up to the size
of water-melons to please her much-younger lover. Was the oldest woman
to appear in Hungarian Playboy. Wanted to launch her own TV-channel
(CIN-N-N) but ended up owing 500,000 Euros to investors. Was found
guilty of fraud (“I made a mistake, but I don’t feel guilty”). Let a camera
team follow her and make a reality show of her last days outside the can.
Currently serving her three-year sentence. Cicciolina visits her often.
Gay Mile
Typical scene on the promenade between the hotels and the Erzsébet bridge, on a sunny late
afternoon. A well-dressed, bit older man lights up a cigarette. A young guy comes to him, asks for
a cigarette and starts a conversation. The game is clear and not about smoking. Who is the young
guy? A runaway kid? Somebody from the penitentiary, or an orphan who never knew his parents
and was not tough enough to become a badass? Someone just making a fast ten-thousand to sup-
port his coke or whatever habit? Someone from a distant village, who came to work in the city and
somehow ended up as a male prostitute? Most of the punters don’t care. Rich West meets poor East
for a quickie. Even the hotel receptionists turn a blind eye and make some cash. News is spread, the
sex tourists keep coming. At night, when the last train is gone to the East, there are always some
desperate ones without shelter.
See more in the film „Nincsen nekem vágyam semmi” by Kornél Mundroczó, imdb entry
tt0243452.
Around the Pest leg of the Erzsébet bridge, esp. up river
As if Culture
Plazas here mean more than just very Western or American
style shopping centres. They are the new city life. You find
everything that makes a city different from a village:
promenades, high streets, cinemas and cafés. West End,
a plaza behind Nyugati became what it advertised: a new
centre for the city. Sociologists talk about a new breed of
people for whom plazas are the only third place. The Plaza
became a plaza in the piazza (public place) sense; there are
even people who visit a plaza to get fresh air.

The whole plaza is an as if thing. People act as if they had a

lot of money, as if they were shopping addicts. The truth is:
not many can afford buying new things constantly, but acting
as if they could (and just did) is nevertheless an option. A lot
of women save those fancy paper bags you get in the shops.
The paper bag becomes a multifunctional tool: it is a handbag
and a tool for as if - a status symbol, an item to make others
envious during the plaza cruising.
Berlin - Spy Game (imdb: tt0266987)
Buenos Aires - Evita (imdb: tt0116250)
Budapest in films as other towns

Paris, London - Munich (imdb: tt0408306)

Culture of complaint
English speaking Hungarians often respond to questions like “How are you?” with a stream of complaints. They are not people in despair; this is simply how you are
expected to react to such questions in Hungarian. You complain about yours and let your partner complain about theirs; this is our version of “how’s it going?”. It is as
empty as the Anglo-Saxon formality, you don’t care about the other’s problems and don’t expect to be listened to.

If you run a business, you are always supposed to complain. Unfortunately, the so-called positive thinking has infected some of our business people, so they smile and
are very sure everything is ok. They are considered to be boastful and even stuck up by some. True, they should damn well respect our culture of com-
plaint.

Bezzeg English. Bezzeg can be used in the sense of

This is a very heavily used Hungarian word that cannot be translated into
“the neighbou r’s grass is always greener”.
- Bezzeg in Germany you don’t have to pay for the Autobahn.
es.
It is especially used when Hungarians think someone else has unjust advantag
- Bezzeg in Italy the pensioner s get so much money they can go on a holiday.
or kid – with somebody else.
Bezzeg can also be used if you compare somebody – yourself, your wife
- Bezzeg your neighbou r’s kid passed his intermedi ate English exam at 15.

g runs smooth and everybody succeeds.

The bezzeg-land in the Hungarian collective consciousness is where everythin

The little big ego

As a Westerner talking to Hungarians, one can often notice an element of arrogance. Hungarians sometimes tend to feel a bit
superior because “life (or survival) in this country is harder than in the West” where people are “spoiled by the social system
and lack of challenge and hardship”. Other common topics are: our school system gives more comprehensive knowledge than a
Western one; basically everything was invented by Hungarians; we have the most Olympic gold medals and Nobel Prizes per
capita and so on.
To some, well, actually many, historical nostalgia is the most dominant feeling. They long for the country that was three
times the size of today’s and was a part of a major European power. Ridiculously, many people regard even today’s
Hungary as a major player in Europe.
At the same time, many Hungarians envy the living standards of the West. To many, Western
Europe is an idealised place with functioning institutions and social security. They
admire the available funds for education and culture. Often they prefer to buy
foreign goods and try to follow the newest trends. Hungarian products,
especially in fashion are camouflaged as western products with foreign
names and neutral campaigns. Those who know or care about the
origins of these brands sneer at those who don’t.
Add the widening gap between the euro-conform, multilingual and the
rest of the country to this paradoxical, simultaneous feeling of
superiority / inferiority and you have our version of a national identity
crisis.
 Is your company in debt?
Sell it to a homeless guy!

were registered to homeless

registered the companies to

More than forty companies
News from April 21, 2005:

wants to make the notaries

and lawyers in the process

obviously fake addresses.

responsible, saying they
The Ministry of Justice
night shelters last year.

Dodge tax
Tax dodging is a very popular sport amongst the self-employed. You are
not really sneered upon for doing it, the act
is actually regarded as a rather cunning one.
Good excuse for the aspiring tax dodger is that tax dodging is practised
at highest levels. Each 2-3 years the public
learns about a new scandal. The scheme is always the same: a lot of money disappear s from the public sector,
someone gets hefty subsidy for a bogus company or simply a lot of taxes are avoided. The funniest case was maybe
when a German / Turkish guy called Kaya Ibrahim signed a few papers in July 1995. Months later it turned out that
he took over 14 companies with massive tax debts connected to people high up in politics. He claims that he did not
sign anything, just gave his passport to his Hungarian neighbour in Germany
who faxed it to another guy who... you
get the picture. There is no verdict until today, the case was dropped.
Our taxation system takes tax dodging as a default so the rules that are supposed to prevent tax dodging make simple
business activities a nightmar e. Take booking simple expenditu res for instance. The detailed receipt stating the items,
VAT and so on is not enough. You have to ask for an “ÁFÁs számla”, the holy VAT bill. Some bigger retail outlets
have computerised systems, but in most cases it is a good old handwritt en, three-pag e carbon copied document. Try
to get a hand written ÁFÁs számla at the railway station; good fun if the employee is retarded (which he usually is),
and you have a long, aggressive queue behind you. On a coach, do this act
with a few fellows and you can delay the
departure with twenty minutes.
expense. Note that the VAT bill is the simpler type, because it does not state the VAT separately.
This is the proper way to book a bus ride as expense. This hand-written paper piece of paper
allows Wan-ker Bt to reclaim 22,168 Forint (about 10 cent) VAT and book the remaining as
 Swear!
Hungarian language demonstrates its
greatest diversity when it is used for
usage of four letter words when some swearing. English is limited to the
thing bad happens. Hungarian empl
curses with imperative in these situa oys complex, grammatically correct
tions.
Compare:

English Hungarian
Shit! Kurva Isten bassza meg!
The sentence above includes words
from the various categories of Hung
- Adjectives (kurva) -Kurva means litera arian swearing.
lly prostitute and can be used as an adjec
kurva szar - effin shit. Nowadays it is tive. Kurva also means negative “very
even used as a positive “very”: kurva ”:
invent anything you like. So fingszopó jó - effin good. Hungarian is flexible
(fartsucker) is not an official term, but in using adjectives so you can
- God (Isten) - Often used in swear word many people will appreciate your innov
s. Other favourite is to mention God’ ation.
- Sexual activities - (Bassza meg) Impe s genitals (isten fasza).
rative to have an intercourse. You can
anal intercourse. use about 20 or so synonymous word
s. You can also refer to fellatio or
You may also add relatives to your swea
ring. Mother is by far the strongest,
!!!Note that the above sentence in Hung aunt is probably the weakest.
arian is very, very rude. Still, you could
face-to-face and a relative is added, hear any lorry driver saying it, cursi
it is more than a call to fight. ng at situations or things. When it is
The older generation refrains from using said
explicit words and instead uses myth
ical and poetic words such as “fűzfánfüt
whistling on a willow tree, “rézfaszú yülő rézangyalát” - the copper angel
bagoly”- owl with a copper-dick or “ördög karikás farka”
bullwhip tail. -the Devil’s
Standolás
You go into a bar and fancy the girl behind the bar. She likes you.
The bar is closing. You want to take her out or home. Then she starts pouring
all the drinks into a bottle and back to the original one. Is it a weird ritual of
Hungarian mixing? Nope. She has to measure and book how much was
drunk from every drink. Every single night. There was a stupid gov-
ernmental regulation until 2004 demanding to know what kind of
and how much booze was consumed each day. They lifted it but
many places still do practise it because of the peculiarities of
an economy of distrust. The boss doesn’t trust her and wants
to know exactly how much was consumed. The barmaid
doesn’t trust the shift next day so she wants to cover
her ass in case something is missing. Don’t worry,
it only takes a half an hour. Problem is, she might
get really pissed off during the process and just
wants to go sleeping (alone, damn). You get
bored, she won’t give you anything to drink,
there is no music and, obviously, you can’t
talk to her because she concentrates on those
bottles. No-one said picking up the barmaid
was easy. Good tip: stock up on bottled beer
before she closes the cashier.
Taxi driver
As in any big city, some taxi drivers here like to take the tourists for an
expensive ride. The masters of this game are the few hundred “sharks” cabs
that don’t belong to one of the big companies. You can see examples of these
arrogant, petty thieves around railway stations and main tourist attractions.
Urban legend says that one unlucky passenger paid 300 Euros to get to the
airport. A true story: some Japanese told their host that they saw three rivers
on their way back to the hotel. Note that strangely it is much cheaper to order
a taxi from a big company by phone to your location than to hail one on the
street.
Taxi drivers belonged to the aristocracy of the eighties. They had access to
lots of cash and even hard currency, were free and uncontrolled. Times have
changed, but to own a cab is still regarded as a success story in the outer
districts. There was even a time when cab drivers were regarded as kind
of freedom fighters. In 1990, the government (contrary to its
promise) raised the heavily subsidised petrol prices to the market level. Cab
drivers blocked the roads and made a circus in front of the parliament. The
“people” brought the protesters home-made cookies and tea.
Your own Blitzkrieg
Not to pay for the ride with BKV (public transport) is the most popular
sport in Budapest. The word for travelling without a ticket is
“bliccelni”, which means literally “to be like lightning” and comes
from the German word “Blitz” (Lightning).
BKV tries to retaliate with furious anger and little success. In
summer 2005, a young woman was taken to the police station in
handcuffs because she allegedly faked her monthly pass. Next
day it turned out that BKV employees themselves sold her a
faked monthly pass. BKV expressed its regret and offered
the woman to replace her fake pass for free. How
generous.
We of course recommend that you
pay each time the right fare.
Here are some things you should not do under any circumstances:
-Prepare a ticket in which the time stamp is a blurry, unreadable mess and claim the machine must have been broken
-Show any ticket with any readable time stamp to the controllers before you enter a metro line. They don’t have the
time to proofread it.
Also, you should not remember these things:
-The controllers may call a policeman but they don’t have the right to hold you up.
-The metro controllers control in squads and in segments of a metro line, usually three
or four stops.
-There is always a control if you want to change metro lines underground at
Deák. It is possible to dodge them if you exit the station and enter the new line
from the surface.
-It is very easy to spot the con- trollers on surface. Look for a group of people
who are mixture between Stasi agents and born losers.

See more in the film „Kontroll” by Nimród Antal, imdb

entry tt0373981. Note the ridiculous comments and warnings
before the film from Botond Aba, president of BKV.
Night Bus
The passengers of a night bus are a cross section of the night: young
people going to or from a club, workers travelling through the city
to an early shift, homeless sleeping on the bus. They operate between
23.00 and 4 o’clock the following day. Night buses around midnight turn
to be clubs themselves because many people use the time of the journey
to get hammered. On the weekends at around three or four is the after party
time when you can see at least one person who is more fucked up than you
are. The night bus on the way home is your last chance to pick someone up. It
sounds strange but actually you can often succeed.
The ultimate party line is the 906 (formerly known as 6É) between Moszkva and
Körtér running every 12-15 minutes all through the night. A bit rougher are the
buses 950É and 914É, especially near the end-stops. For a ride into the darkness
of the outskirts try 909É, leaving from Deák.
Kopasz
Literally meaning “bald”, this is the term used for those muscular guys you see all around. They are synthetic products of those messy,
uncertain times around the changes when things were not clear and often muscle was needed to settle affairs. The hey-day of the kopasz
is passed but they still continue to form their own caste in society.
The ultimate dream of the kopasz is to cruise around in an expensive car (possibly a huge jeep), have a curvy blonde girl on the side
and generally, be the boss. There is a good deal of crime going on in the city and many kopasz are involved in it but not even half of them are
as serious players as they show. Nevertheless, questioning the kopasz’s authority is not a good idea. Being on mushrooms in a place with
aggressive techno music and tons of kopasz is definitely not a good idea. Trying to pick up the kopasz’s girlfriend is a bad, bad idea.
Trying to pick up a kopasz himself because you think he is a beefy gay type is a suicidal idea.
Many kopasz work as bouncers. They are brutal and like to show who runs the place. This is done by picking out a guy and giving him
a beating. This is done usually to smaller guys but even celebrities can get theirs. Tibor Simon, a Vinnie Jones type of football player and
minor celebrity was beaten to death by bouncers (who worked as policemen during the day). Another soap opera star got hospitalised last
winter after he tried to stop two bouncers from kicking a girl around.
 The Hungarian with his funny moustache has been a stereotype for centuries. Males without facial hair were con-
sidered children not so long ago, so the sign of true manhood was the moustache. Today most of the nation’s males
have abandoned wearing extensive facial wear, but still, a few local bio-accessories are to be recognised.

“Harcsa” The harcsa (catfish) type of fringe is a true brand sign of an older Magyar Macho of the Puszta. He
started wearing catfish the back in the 70’s and hasn’t changed his style. The best place today to go catfish spotting
is maybe a village fair. The city way to act like a Magyar Macho of the Puszta is to have a title, a uniform and a
hand-weapon, so no wonder that catfish remained a favourite by some low-rank policemen.

MIÉP - “Hungarian Life And Justice” (a party of chauvinist idiots)

This type originated from the old peasant’s moustache, maybe that’s why its wearers act like the
village wise man after two glasses of wine. Must have if you think Hungary suffered wrongfully
throughout the centuries or want to teach folk-dance. For the full effect, you can try adding some
remote accent to your speech, even if you are born in the very centre of the capital. Note that most
of the time the moustache is drooping, just like the country’s potential and potency. If it curls
upwards, you are either near a tourist attraction or an auditioning for a costume film.
Házmester - janitor
Not so long ago, each house used to have its own házmester, the janitor who was in charge. Before the war they were
employed by the landlord to take care of the property. Being a házmester was, for many, a social achievement. They had
free lodging on the ground floor and received wage. They also collected “gate money”, a small sum one had to pay if the
residents went home after the gates officially had closed. At one time, they even rose to power: furing the big chaos and
terror of 1944-45, there were many házmesters amongst the arrow-cross thugs. The sphere of control of the házmester
grew during Communism. They were supposed to “report” on the inhabitants of the house. They were in close contact
with the authorities and always knew where a social flat could be required. They could undermine the lives of people they
didn’t like or whose flats they spotted for themselves. The term “dictatorship of házmesters” is pretty known to the old
generation.
Go and consume!
Four Tigers
The Polish flooded the town in the eighties with cheap gadgets they smuggled from the West and sold in impromptu “Polish markets”. A
decade later the Chinese took over these places. The city wanted to regulate the situation and “develop” a place where such illegal trade
is concentrated. After a lot of dispute, bribing and even shooting the Four Tiger Market finally opened in 1992 on the grounds of
MÁV, the state railway company.

The 20-minute tram ride to the market is an adventure in itself. You take the tram Nr. 28 from Blaha through the mouldering
houses of the outer VIIIth District. You will know when you have arrived: on one side of the road you see wholesale
outlets and electronic casinos, on the other side a stone fence. Actually, the market is so big that there are three tram
stops where you can get off.

The market is a chaos engine, a forsaken derivation of the Silk Road, where rubbish from all directions of the wind
converge. Cheap imitations of anything (check out Adios and Rebook) are on sale next to worthless electronic items.
Anything that is smuggled is sold under the table. The smell of the market is a strange mixture of fresh plastic, strange
food, oriental spices and sweat. The noise is a mixture of all languages spoken from Hungary to East China and South
Vietnam. The buyers are as mixed as the sellers; charter buses bring hordes of people from as far as Poland and the
Ukraine.

Tips: How to feel like being in a film

Blade Runner - Go to the Four Tigers market on a dark, rainy day. Eat some noodles in an eatery. Within five minutes
someone will come to you and start to bother you in a language you don’t understand.
Jackie Chan movie - Go to the big Four Tigers market on any day. Start taking photos or filming.
(Strictly forbidden!) Within a minute you can practice your kung-fu skills against a dozen opponents
who want to take your camera.

4 tigris piac, X., Kőbányai

 Non-stop a “non-stop” in every corner. They are
small grocers that stay
In the centre of Budapest you can find e you are at: non-stops in Buda
s a non-stop has tells you wher
open all night long. What range of good acies with forei gn label s; the shops in more run-
expensive delic
or in better-off neighbourhoods sell . Far away from the flashy streets, the
ol and some very basic food
down areas only stock cigarettes, alcoh where life is lived . You can settle
No bars are open, so this is the place
non-stop is the social establishment. next to the drun ken coup le quarr elling.
fetching a few beers right
an old dispute with your neighbour after drive rs drink coffe e from plastic
exchanges of the night. Cops and taxi
Some non-stops function as info stock morn ing. Non- stops near clubs let you preview a
possibly not read the next
cups and talk about the news you will p quick drink before entering a
night ’s meat -mar ket institutions. Many like to have a chea
good secti on of the
anion for the night here. If you fail, you will still
r you can fix a comp
pricey club. Go ahead, if you are cleve be big spen der guys and wannabe party
ling wine truth about some trying-to-
know the canned beer and cheap spark
girls.

An extensive collection
of ”kortyi” (“sippie”),
synthetic alcohol sold in
sip-size, a necessary tool
ally on
top is re of survival for many.
A Non-s every corner
almost town.
in down
 Kocsma
Though often translated falsely as “bar“, or “pub” into English, kocsma
is an institution of its own. A good
kocsma is rough and uncomfortable and is used exclusively for drinking;
the food (pogácsa or a zsíros
kenyér - bread with lard) is on hand only to prepare the stomach for the
serious drinking. Consider a
kocsma as an educational institute where you can learn the most importan
t life lessons from underdogs:
how to survive beer, shorts and wine in the same evening, how to hack pinball
machines and how to avoid
work, in general.
A borozó is a wine yard where you can buy wine on tap by the glass, usually
from one region or big producer. They are filled
with old guys who share their bits of wisdom louder and louder after each
deci (tenth of a liter) or fröccs (wine with bubbly
mineral water called szóda). Habit and market changes have forced most
of the borozós to close, sell acid wine or change
into a more general kocsma.
An old borozó with real wine is Tokaji borozó on V., Falk Miksa 32.
An institution for students and teenagers is Móri Borozó in I.Fiáth János
utca 16.
Acid wine
ke walking
A good share of the population is heavy on the drink. The real zombie-li
on “kannás bor”, literally “wine in a (plastic)c an”.
corpses with dull eyes are the ones
brought out
In the early nineties wages dropped. The alcohol industry answered fast and
It is supposed
plenty of cheap, artificial wine in 2 or 5 litre plastic cans (hence the name).
to be illegal now, but no-one really cares or dares to control.
costs about
You can find acid wines in the dirty cellar “wine bars” and kocsmas. A litre
version. Even
a Euro to take and 1.5-2 to drink. Any shop will sell the canned or bottled
bor” (wine on
some bars, kerts and clubs will sell you this poison, but they call it “folyó
tap) and you will pay ridiculous prices for it.
most irresist-
Try this stuff out, after a few glasses you will be the bravest, smartest and
will have a splitting headache , but by the evening it
ible person around. Next day you
about politics
will go away. If you drink the stuff for a year, you can sit back and forget
ent.
or even television, because tying your shoelaces will be a full day’s engagem
rt, the so-called
The regions producing the best drops are Akasztó, Kecel and Soltvadke
have colourful
golden triangle in the middle of the Hungarian Plain. The leading brands
themes and funny names like Kocsis Irma (the wife
etiquettes, often with historic or folk
or
of a publican in a folk song), brother-in-law Durbincs (another folk song)
Koccintós (clinker). Makes an excellent souvenir!
Wine Wine
Wine is not at all just about acid wine, Hungary does have some excellent
drops. Not a wonder
since the soil and the climate are good and the country has been producing
the noble drink since the Roman times. Wine has been
the most popular drink for centuries, beer only took over in the late 20th century.
Many families own a small vineyard and produce
wine (“házi bor” - ”wine from the house”) from miserable to excellent quality.
A lot of winemakers have achieved international reputation in the last
few years. Some wines won blind tests against several-
hundred-Euro-a-bottle wines from French wineries whose name has a lot
of funny characters. A lot of books, magazines and wine-
blogs are being published; the domestic demand for high quality products
is growing and even a certain patriotic wine snobbism
has also found its way into the upper market.
So, if you are invited to a fancy party, bring a nice bottle along. It can
be a foreign wine, but than be prepared to hear the
comparison with a Hungarian one. Be able to talk about barrique, optimal
maturity and acacia scent unless you want to be declared
an insensitive barbarian and denied of the grilled lamb and forced to eat
frankfurters. There is nothing wrong with frankfurters,
but you don’t go to a fancy party to eat them, do you?
 Mór
Sopron
Szekszárd
ones on the market)
Some wineregions are:
taste a few glasses for free.

and Kéknyelű are excellent whites)

Kriszitna Borház, XII., Lövőház 29.
Pántlika Borház, VII., Dohány u. 30/a
In vino veritas, VII., Dohány u. 58-62. (huge one)

also find better wines in any upmarket supermarket.

Tokaj (Tokaji is a unique dessert wine from the region)

Villány (Try the cabernet-sauvignon and the blauportugieser)
A lot of wine shops have opened and they offer a wide selection

Badacsony (Excellent volcanic soil. Rajnai Rizling, Olaszrizling

Eger (“Bull’s Blood is famous, although there are a lot of crappy
There is a wine shop in every shopping mall (plazas) and you can
the types, regions and producers. Play the game well and you can
of noble drops. They usually speak English and will tell you about

tokaji!
Not the real
WARNING!
Presszó comes from the word `espresso’.
Presszó or eszpresszó is the name of the Italian type bar, and it actually
big days of presszós were after the war. The rhythm of the
The first on opened in December 1937, but the
the feeling of modern life people wanted. Huge coffee machines brewed excellent coffee; new
place offered
was the hip place to be. Also, flats were in shortage and the morals of the
specialities were on offer: presszó
a presszó was the only possible places to meet
older generations were conservative, so for many young people
served as centres for the oppositio n or free thought, some as centres for artists. Often they
up. Some presszós
their terrace. Many presszós closed
had a little band playing in the evening and in the warmer days they opened
nineties or kept the name but they became more of a kocsma, concentra ting on alcohol instead of coffee.
in the
pasted from 1961 is Bambi, II., Frankel Leó 2-4. The ladies sometimes still
One almost completely copy &
wear the trademark high-heel boots and the coffee is served in glass.
 Kávéház
A kávéházba – ahol tan-
yáztunk – alig járt más,
mint művésznépség;
tehetetlen, cinikus,
fáradt-fantáziájú, de mé-
gis melegszívű emberek.
Nemigen dolgozott
egyikünk sem, ellenben
bőven vitattuk meg
mindannyiunk jövendő
terveit. Mit csinálunk,
majd ha pénzünk lesz
– stb. stb. Közben megit-
tuk feketéinket, meg a
konyakot, meg ismét
feketéinket; szívtuk ciga-
rattáinkat, és leszidtuk az
összes festőket és írókat,
szárazon és unottan
buzdítottuk egymást; de
senki sem buzdult.

Csáth Géza : Mese a

kávéházból
 In the café - where we
used to hang out - there
was hardly anyone else
than art folks; impotent,
sardonic people with a
weary imagination but
a warm heart. Hardly
any of us worked, but
we were busy discussing
everyone’s future plans.
What we were going to
do, when we had money
- etc. etc. In the
meantime we kept
sipping our coffee, and
the cognac, and the coffee
again; we smoked our
cigarettes and kept
lashing all painters and
writers, stimulated each
other dryly and in a bored
manner, but no-one got
stimulated.

Géza Csáth: A tale from

the café, 1904

Gresham V., Roosevelt tér 5-6.

Eckermann, VI., Andrássy 29.

in the Gresham Four Seasons

FREE place for anything.

Művész, VI., Andrássy 24.

Gerlóczy, V., Gerlóczy 1.

Hotel)
Meat and Paprika
Hungarians eat meat with meat. In the fifties, there was a commie song about the
working class being able to eat meat every day. They took it to the extreme, from the
sixties to the eighties the holy trinity of meat soup / pörkölt / pork schnitzel ruled most
of the family tables on the weekends. Pork is by far the most beloved meat, and as a
result, high cholesterol is endemic.
Paprika is omnipresent in the everyday Hungarian cuisine. Forget those
fancy restaurants with their stupid food names that no-one can
pronounce anyway: we make a gulyás / paprikás / pörkölt
of everything or deep fry the damn thing. If there was a Hungar-
ian Jamie Oliver, he would be a jovial fat guy making kangaroo pörkölt,
paprikás tortoise and maybe a deep fried yak schnitzel for a change. If a
UFO landed in the countryside, I am almost sure that the poor bastard
would end up in some thick paprika sauce.
(Gulyás is the thick soup, pörkölt
the paprika stew that most of
you probably call goulash back
home. Paprikás is basically
another variation for
pörkölt.)
 Lángos and Co.
One speciality all the guide books write about is
“lángos”. It is deep-fried salty dough, served with
garlic and optionally sour cream and cheese. Lángos
means literally “flamed”, because this dish was originally
made in the oven. Now it follows the pure fat - pure joy
principle and is deep-fried. The dough of the original one
was made of flour and mashed potato, unfortunately you are
likely to get the pure flour one most of the time. Lángos is
rarely sold on the street in this city anymore, only in markets
and railway stations. That leaves the markets only, because as
a rule of the thumb you should avoid eating at railway stations.
You will also find lángos on the beach. Perversely, if you go to
the Római Part, the right bank of the Danube near Aquincum,
you can see a lot of people eating deep-fried garlicky stuff in the
sun, even if temperature is over 35 Degrees in shade.
The other typical beach food is called Hekk. Hekk is hake, a sea
fish mostly fished near Argentina. It arrives in 20-kilo ice cubes.
That ice cube used to come from Cuba and was called “socialist
block of fish”. People like hekk because it has no bones and is easy
to prepare. Your hekk will be rolled in paprika flour and deep-fried
in one piece. This is the only fish you will get on most beaches, even
at Balaton, although the lake is famous for its fishery. Hungary was
praised by poets for its rich waters, now most of the country eats fish
only twice a year - once at Xmas, (deep fried carp in paprika flour or
paprika fish soup), and one hekk in the summer.
For the lángos:
Fény utcai piac. II., Fény
utca, the market
behind Mammut shopping
centre (Széna tér),
first floor (dough with pota
to)
Hold utcai Vásárcsarno
k - In the market hall
on V., Hold 13. Note the
old street sign saying
“Rosenberg házaspár utca
” - Rosenberg couple
street. (dough with potato)
Nagyvásárcsarnok, IX.,
Fővám körút 1-3.
 Burger for the Buerger
The first sign of freedom, hamburger
s appeared in the early eighties.
A TV ad introduced the new food : a burger bun was running around
the table and eating all the ingredient
s, and at the end a Russian style
army choir echoed: ham-bur-ger. Bette r shops sold the standard 4-pack
burgers that were dema nded by the kids at dinner tables.
Those who operated food stalls smel
led gold and switched from lángos
and sausages to hamburger s. Our own variant was developed.
The essentials for the old-school
Hungarian burger are: puffancs (a
dark brown roll made from swee t doug h), one (1) slice of green salad,
csalamádé (pickled onion s, cucu mber s and cabbage) and Globus brand
mustard and ketchup. A decade later
McDonald’s conquered and this del-
icacy almost completely disap peare d or degenerated. Only a few places
still sell the real thing. One is a dirty
non-stop joint not far from Keleti.
At night it is often full of cops on duty.
They eat those old-school burgers
around here, not donuts. Remember
that, you might be able to spark up a
conversation on your way to the statio
n.
13+1 Hamburger, IX., Angyal u. 28.
Palacsintakirály, VII., corner of Thök
öly and Dózsa György
 Own fast food chain
Burgers were the first step towards democracy and becoming a westernis
ed country. The second obvious step was
to have our own fast food chain. So in 1985 City Grill opened up, a place
that mimed western fast food joints. It
was owned by a state company that also managed the big hotels. A TV ad
featuring the golden mulleted Brother
Pinball and his band Step (big celebrities at the time!) advertised the place
and the new lifestyle. City Grill served
coke in a logo-ed plastic cup with straws and had rolling chairs - everythin
g felt so hip and chic. The winds of
change smelled like french fries. Or freedom fries.
The last City Grill on Váci utca closed a few years ago. It still bore the
legendary name but instead specialised
in selling overpriced tap beer on the terrace. The place is called now Taverna
Söröző and still sells pricey beer.
Maybe one joint should have been kept as a bonus trip destination for McDonal
d’s workers where they could be
ill tempered and lazy and generally, ignore all aspects of costumer service;
just like it was back then at the City
Grill.
Another attempt was to open a chain that sold the traditional slow-food hits
like pörkölt, nokedli (kinda gnocchi),
cucumber salad and such, but in a fast food fashion. It was called Paprika
(what else?) The TV ad sang: “Here
comes the paprika, the pa-pa-pa-pa-paprika!!!” I don’t know anyone who
ever went there.
It is bizarre, but Paprika still exists today. The very last restaurant is on the
corner of Városháza and Pilvax köz. A
fat lady is handing out the not-too-hearty portions on plastic plates over an
aluminium counter, just like in a good
old factory canteen. The clientele is mostly made up of pensioners. It is a
kind of museum where you can see how
things could be if the commies stayed on power and the country was denied
proper fast food.
Paprika, V., Városháza and Pilvax köz corner
Meki
The real thing, McDonald’s - Meki as we call it - opened its first joint on the Régiposta, in the very centre of Pest in 1988. It
was news on TV. All of the leading politicians of the Party paid their mandatory visits. Looking back, it was the psychological
turning point, the point that made clear that socialism was over. Ronald McDonald brought us freedom in a happy meal,
the first secretary even got to have a Big Mac. The same crowd that visited the City Grill just a block away and stood in
the line to get in the Adidas shop was now queuing for hours for a cheeseburger menu. For a short while, working in a
Meki was considered as a hot job.
Meki won the fat race with a knock out, City Grill died, the old school burger places closed. Today there are about 47
Meki “restaurants” in the town. Even in the countryside, a place is considered a real if it has a Meki.
Meki put its hands on some unbelievable locations, one joint is seated in the ex first class restaurant of the Nyugati,
in a building designed by Gustave Eiffel. A less classy but certainly interesting Meki is at Blaha. Beefy gypsy
thugs used to hang out around the door as kind of unofficial security. A friend scored smack in front of the
establishment, went to the loo to shoot up and got mugged by the same guys who sold the stuff. The place
has been renovated but the clientele remained pretty much the same.

First Meki, V., Régiposta 10.

Nyugati, VI., Teréz krt. 55.
Blaha, VIII., József krt. 8.
Hentes
The real place to eat fast and cheap is at the butcher’s, the “hentes”. A typical Budapest
hentes place is small and has red windows with bars. It displays a variety of grilled
sausages and other hot meat to the street so you can see the stuff if you walk by. Every
Budapester male visits a hentes every now and then, except the vegetarians and picky
ones, but they are not considered to be real men by the majority of the population
anyways. The hentes is a democratic institution. Between the morning and lunch time,
you can see construction workers and porn starlets eating sausage next to each other; a
respectable old guy, a bácsi, eating smoked and cooked pig’s knuckles with slow and
precise hand motion, using his own pocket knife. A foreman is buying tons of meat
for his illegal workers. A guy in very, very expensive suit is eating nasty liver sausage.
Drunkards are putting their coins together to buy some fatty stuff to cure their burning
stomachs. Late partyheads are having a quick bite before falling to bed. The hentes is
a kaleidoscope.
The hentes in Budapest plays the same role as the barber does in some countries. He
is your local news server. He knows who is who in the neighbourhood better than the
cops and the whole neighbourhood knows who he is. He knows more about politics
and football than those wankers who run the country and the national team. He does
not hesitate to offer his opinion and you tend to think he is right. Not a good idea to
argue with a guy who has a cleaver in his hand, anyway.
 It is a sign of real emancipation if
a hot woman is able to enjoy these
calorie bombs in public. My fellows
V., Városháza u. 6. in fat and protein, let’s liberate our
IX., Ráday u. 49. women from the muesli mafia!
VI., Hajós u. 17., across the Opera
Chow
You can find a Chinese eatery on almost every corner of the city. They advertise
“Menü” with big signs for less than 500
Forint. The “Menü” is some unidentifiable meat and vegetable stew in thick
glutamate sauce. You choose between the
5-6 dishes displayed in the aluminium cafeteria-stlye buffet cart. The assortmen
t is always the same: chicken gung-bao;
beef Sichuan; meat in “thousand secret” sauce and “fragrant bites”. Ah,
you get a clump of rice as a side dish, that’s
why it’s a “Menü”.
If you have ever been to a Chinese restaurant outside of Hungary, you may
ask yourself if this food is a joke. No, it is not.
Most of the people running these places are from North China so their “cuisine”
is quite different from the Cantonese that
spread around the world. Also, they have had to adapt their selection to suit
the taste and budget of the Hungarian market.
The guys are not trained cooks and possibly have to order the ingredients,
or the chow itself, from a central “distributor”.
On top of that, they often have to repay heavy loans to heavy people.
Some places offer freshly made dishes that are considerably better than
the “Menü” and are only a few hundred more
expensive. Still, for the brave, resilient and resistant, eating a “Menü” in
a “kínai büfé” on a dirty corner can be a unique
experience. Just don’t try to find out what those thousand secrets in the sauce
are...
Kínai Büfé is all over.
You don’t have to spend a fortune if you want to have a hot lunch in Budapest. Most
restaurants offer a two-course daily special for a few hundred Forint. The quality and
quantity varies, look for locals on a lunch break.
There are a number of étkezdes (“eatery”), ételbárs (“food-bar”) and kifőzdes (“cook-
out”) around, family-run businesses that serve basic food for lunch. They stay open
between 11 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon, but most of the stuff is sold out
around one o’clock. The clientele are typically people who work nearby and are
known personally by the stuff. The boss is often a mamma type of woman, so mind
your manners. The menu consists of Sunday classics, hits from the school “menza”,
deep fried anything plus daily fõzelék.
Főzelék is a dish of vegetables. You can get it also in a “főzelékbár”. They became
popular a few years ago and began to spread around. There is even a national chain
called Főzelékfaló. Eating in their first joint on Nagymező is a feeling of nostalgia for
school days. You queue for half an hour to get a mass produced, floury, thick, soup-
like, overcooked vegetable dish. Just like in school, the best thing to do is to check the
girls in the queue and try to get in contact.

“When at lunch, to the begging and beseeching of my parents, and against my firm
belief, I started spooning my portion of “nutritious and healthy” főzelék of lentils,
he whispered in my ears: “Spew it, puke it on the plate, wait for the roast joint, the
cookies.””
(Dezső Kosztolányi: Esti Kornél 1929)

A hard-to find classic:

Főtt marhaszelet meggymártással. Cooked beef in sour-cherry sauce, served with a
side dish of pasta and sometimes also breadcrumbs.
Typical Hungarian cuisine is sweet pasta as a main dish. Variations are: mákos tészta
- pasta with poppyseeds and sugar, diós tészta - pasta with nuts & sugar and grízes
tészta - pasta with breadcrumbs and sugar.
The sommelier’s guide to the bars downtown
Our country is supposed to have excellent wines and beautiful women, so why not enjoy both at the same time? It is an expensive experience, but what the hell, we only live once,
cheapo! Here’s how to do it. Just approach any of the bombshell beauties walking down the street around Váci utca. Or better said, wait until they approach you. They get into a
conversation with you and suggest you should have a drink together. You are on the right track. You will go to a bar nearby and enjoy a few drinks and giggles. Ok, that drink can
be really, really pricey, because the girls drink that “very special wine”. But what are those few hundred Euros for a real speciality? One unlucky Dane had a coffee for 300 Euro!
Be careful, if you (slang word: “madár”, the bird that has to loose its feathers) don’t have enough cash, huge bouncers will appear from the void. They will happily escort you to
the ATM which happens to be on the corner. Make sure you have enough money: some tourists whose bank accounts ran out of juice were hospitalised.
Legend says the same trick was played with two Americans. They refused to pay or go to the ATM, so the thugs were happy to teach them a lesson. In the end, the bar and the staff
were severely damaged. The guys were martial arts trainers to the soldiers in Taszár, the American military base in the countryside.
For the bars where you can taste that very special wine, check out the US embassy’s sommelier guide to Budapest (also known as the no-go list)
under http://budapest.usembassy.gov/tourist_advisory.html
Eating out
So, where to eat out? Good question. You can find any food ranging from excellent value to expensive
crap. Explore, trust your instincts or ask a local. Here is some general info:
Names can be a bit confusing at first. A restaurant is, well, a restaurant. It can also be called a vendéglõ. A
vendéglõ is usually less formal and often advertises itself with “házias ízek” (home-like taste). A kisven-
déglõ is smaller and even less formal. To know a good kisvendéglõ is a divine blessing; ask a Budapester
to recommend their favourite. A Csárda in Budapest is a pseudo-folkish restaurant where you can enjoy
huge plates of traditional dishes between busloads of German tourists and half-drunken Japanese with the
compulsory gipsy music. If you are really unlucky you can even catch a folk show. Ihaj-csuhaj!
Many places nowadays choose to be a “Café” where you can eat or just have a drink. Not to be mixed up
with a real kávéház. You have several options for lunch, see page 56 and the bits about fast food.
The design, furniture, ambiance and soundtrack of many new addresses in town could pass as trendy
anywhere in the world. Same goes for the menu: the so-called “international with a Mediterranean touch”,
speak you are supposed to be comfortable with three languages and cuisine to understand what it says.
It seems to work, a “gnocchi al pacchino” on the menu can evoke the gourmand’s nod but no Hungarian
would order “krumplis nokedli apró paradicsommal”, even though it’s the same dish. Sea delicacies are
also in demand; unfortunately Hungary is landlocked so don’t expect the seafood experience of your
life. A sign of awakening can be seen in some restaurants which proudly offer reinterpreted Hungarian
cuisine.
Orientation in general: Liszt Ferenc tér has become the place to see and to be seen in the last ten years.
Well-dressed young people fill the terraces of expensive joints and the vibe is always lively. Pity is that
you have to leave the outside tables by one o’clock. Another centre for eating out and being seen is the
Ráday utca in the IXth district. For those in love with plastic chairs and tourist menus, any place in the
tourist mile between Vörösmarty and the Nagyvásárcsarnok will serve a mediocre goulash and the food
pictured in Lonely Planet. Same game is played in a more upscale way in the restaurants along the Danube
promenade in Pest and one the boats.
Places
Check out the top 33 restaurants Iguana Bar & Grill (Mexican) Pomo D’oro Garden (Italian)
on www.pestiside.hu, they have V., Zoltán utca 16. Corner of Csörsz and Alkotás
a trustworthy recommendation in Il Giardino (Italian) utcas
each category. V., Váci utca 72. The Taiwan Restaurant
Il Terzo Cerchio (Italian) (Chinese)
Their September list is: VII., Nagydiófa u. 3. IX., Gyáli út 3/b
Arcade Bistro (International) Kádár (Hungarian)VII., Tom-George (International)
I., Kiss János altábornagy utca 38 Klauzal tér 9. V., Október 6th utca 8.
Baraka (International) Kama Sutra (Indian/Asian) Trattoria Toscana (Italian)
V., Magyar utca 12-14. V., Október 6 utca 19. V., Belgrád rakpart 13.
Café Bouchon Kéhli Vendéglő (Hungarian) Új Lanzhou (Chinese)
(Hung. /Continental) III., Mókus utca 22. II., Fő utca 71.
VI., Zichy Jenõ u. 33. Két Szerecsen (Continental) Some other tips:
Café Kör (Hung. /Continental) VI., Nagymező utca 14. Vendéglő:
V., Sas utca 17. Kisbuda Gyöngye (Hungarian) Zöldkert, III., Szőlő 47.
Central Kávéház (Hungarian) III., Kenyeres utca 34. Kisvendéglő:
V., Károlyi Mihály utca 9. Krizia (Italian) Pali Bácsi borozója és
Chez Daniel (French) VI., Mozsár utca 12. étkezdéje, XII., Tartsay Vilmos
VI., Szív u. 32. Le Bourbon (Continental) utca 8.
Daikichi (Japanese) V., Erzsébet tér 9-10. Csárda:
I., Mészáros utca 64. (Inside Le Meridien Hotel) Búsuló Juhász, the Csárda on
Fausto’s Ristorante (Italian) Lou Lou Restaurant Gellérthegy, XI., Kelenhe-
VII., Dohány u. 5. (Continental) gyi 58.
Gresham Kávéház (Continental) V., Vigyázó Ferenc utca 4. Cafés with that Mediterranean
V., Roosevelt tér 5-6. (Inside the Maligán Borétterem flair:
Gresham Four Seasons Hotel) (Hungarian) Soul Café & Restaurant, IX.,
Gundel (Hungarian) III., Lajos utca 38. Ráday utca 11-13.
XIV., Állatkerti út 2. Múzeum (Hungarian) Buena Vista Café, VI., Liszt
Ha Noi (Vietnamese) VIII., Múzeum körút 10-12. Ferenc tér 5.
XIV., Vezér út 129. Pata Negra (Tapas) Fish:
HanKukGuan (Korean) IX., Kálvin tér 8. Horgásztanya, I., Fő u. 27
XIV., Ilka u. 22. Páva (Continental) Modern Hungarian:
Hax’n Király Sörház (Bavarian) V., Roosevelt tér 5-6. (Inside the Menza, VI., Liszt Ferenc tér 2.
VI., Király utca 100. Gresham Four Seasons Hotel)
Sitting out
Kert means garden and is also the name for the type of club or rather a bar that has been set up in a deserted courtyard. The first ones opened in the inner VIIth district a few years
ago. A kert is a bit alternative, a bit chaotic, a bit run-down but can be friendly and even charming. They look like squat houses without inhabitants but there is no revolution or
politics behind the `concept’ of kerts, only business. Typically, they host a clientele made up of all kinds of slackers, artists, ex-pats, tourists and even teenagers discussing Sartre.
There is music but most of the gardens have a dance floor only in the cellar and no-one really goes to a kert to dance.
Most of the kerts have to close down after only one summer because of the huge conflict of interest between the district, property investors, inhabitants and the operators. No need
to worry, there are still enough empty houses in downtown so they search for a new spot not far from the old one and open the a new place under the same name. Recent trend is
that some kerts adapt to the winter and stay open all year around.

Kerts that are open in the winter:

Szimplakert, VII. Kazinczy u. 14.
Tűztér / Tűzraktár, IX. Tűzoltó u. 54-56.
Dancing out
It was a positive change in the Budapest night life when the open air clubs along the Danube opened not so long ago. Since then, a whole entertainment centre has sprung up
around the Petőfi bridge. There is something for every taste: a huge club with mainstream music and live concerts, a club for the kopasz and wannabe kopasz and a ship for the
classy. Watch out for the bouncers in the clubs, they tend to overact.
The open air clubs on the ”budai Sziget are much more expensive and flashy, a huge meat market where money meets naked skin. Sex sells so much that they advertise parties
with ex porn babes sitting in the VIP lounge. Here is a decoding of their flyers and posters: funky usually means modern mainstream dance music and house is a synonym for
cheap techno.
For the colder days: Kultiplex (open all year) is a club connected with the ex-pirate radio Tilos. Its dance floor has a DJ playing every night and the music is what it
promises. A sure-shot Plan C (even after Plan B failed) in the cold season is Cha-Cha-Cha, a madhouse in the underpass of Kálvin Tér Metro
Station. It fills up around two and can often be a promising continuation of the night. Last exit and last chance is usually Piaf, a dodgy
cellar club where you gain entrance after being face-checked by a woman. If you are not totally wasted you get in. Inside, you can find a
cross- section of the cold season Budapest night: party people, drunks, prostitutes and petty criminals. Sometimes an old guy is
playing the piano upstairs.

Open air around Petőfi Bridge:

Zöld Pardon, a huge fun fair
Rio, aggressive place for aggressive people
A38 boat, just down the Danube from Zöld Pardon

Óbudai Sziget:
Dokk
Bed Beach
Go to the “White party” and see the city’s wannabe beautiful people dressed as ice-cream vendors.

Kultiplex, IX., Kinizsi 28.

Cha-Cha-Cha underpass of Kálvin Tér Metro Station
Piaf, VI., Nagymező u. 25.

Dancehall is popular amongst the young crowd, check www.dancehall.hu or look out for the flyers from Love alliance.
Parties by www.lollipop.hu are held in different venues and usually have the nicest girls. Music is kinda electrocrash. Or electrotrash?
SONIC TAGS WORKSHOP
to back up the philosophy of Re:activism conference
a group of international sound and media artists and activists
are holding a pro:active workshop
from the beginning of the week
elements of the production work:
• building small-area fm transmitters
• collaborative content creation
• production of alternative, localized, virtual edu-tainment spots
Bits and pieces of the collaboration will be heard/found all over town
• Radio Tilos provides an hour airtime throughout the week to deal with special themes on the occasion of the workshop and conference (http://tilos.hu)
• Towards the end of the week, around the time of the conference, the small area transmitters will be planted in special parts of the city, so its worth the try
to wander around town with an fm radio
• On Friday, 14th October, a special closing party will be held where the results of the workshop will be exhibited and made special use of
For locations and exact dates, watch out for flyers!
MOKK, Radio Tilos, Nextlab, Radio Territories (EU) project
H-Airwaves
Yes, Angela Davis hairstyle was a big thing here too in the seventies,
as you can see from old photographs and hear from stories of that
generation, and basically you can still get anything here from the
groovy retro stock that has become so popular again in recent years
- the cheapest bits at the time when people can dump their rubbish
officially on the street to be collected in autumn and spring. Quite a
sociological survey, I tell ya.
What are the things we had, but we don’t anymore, or are simply
not wanted, no effort, no money to uphold? Actually, there are quite
location specific answers to these questions.
How did Telefonhirmondo, the multichannel protoradio invented by
Puskás (it seems this is one of the names bound to become famous
outside Hungary), change habits of attending the Opera near the turn
of the 20th century, when you could listen to it from your home at
an annual fee? How did they advertise the brand-new services, and
just have a look at these stylish, great sound-reproducing appara-
tuses, don’t you feel the drive to know what they were listening to
on them?
All countries have radio amateurs, communicating in their own
special way from their home studios, but imagine what it could have
been like in one of these Eastern block countries... Now capturing
and reproducing, transmitting sound have become kind of like a big
do-it-yourself multimedia game, or at least that’s what we are trying
to prove here. Come and join us in laying down and deciphering the
rules of this air- and awareness-raising game.
sonic fusion
Apart from vanished buildings and changed environments, all cities have sounds that perish by time, the sources of which disappeared. The noise of an unusual public transport
vehicle, the new bells in a church to stick to the memory of old days and the existence of parallel worlds represented in the philosophy buildings that make up a city.
“Mind the gap” sounds different in Budapest - just take a ride on the underground: no no direct translation, but at least they tell you right after closing the door, how the next
undecipherable stop sounds like - just be creative enough to match the sound and the tiny letters on the information board.
From 10th of October, if you wonder around the streets you may actually spot some wild looking, well-equipped sound catchers trying to capture unique as well as all too familiar
sounds, map up what’s happening over here, over and over and below the surface, and transform the unseen world a bit.